Reality televisio~ junkie Bore.d? Turn to boards

blue. I could not imagine my next obsession.

Renee Tomcanio

Hello, my name is Renee, and I am a reality television junkie. Most people who know me find this hard to believe, but some-thing about them appeals to me. I love seeing how far some people will go to win thousands of dolmanaging editor lars even though I am sometimes nauseated by the ,ights. I love the shows, but I am afraid to ;ee how far networks will go to keep viewers and make money.

My addiction with reality television ;tarted with "Temptation Island." It is the :ype of television any self-respecting pet;on would condemn. However, I loved it. [t started out small. It was just me and )ne other person watching on my floor in ffouse 4, where I used to live. Then four )r five of us would discuss the events on fhursday. Soon, everyone on my floor .vould be tuned in to FOX on Wednesday oights. When Mandy cheated on Billy, ,creams of disgust and horror rang from room to room. It was phenomenon. I cannot forget the last episode when everyone ,tayed with each other. We were angry for weeks.

During that time I felt a change come :>ver me. I was developing the early ,tages of an addiction. Emotions were being manipulated. I was actually con;erned about these people. I could not .vait for the next episode. I also found myself looking for other shows like these. I used to criticize my friends who were obsessed with the first "Survivor," but now I was waiting for the second sea;on.

"The Mole" was my rock bottom. That show had me glued to my television ,et. The outrageous stunts, the speculaion, the anticipation of who would be ricked off all had my noind in a whirl of !motion. I never thought that I could be ;omeone so caught up in this type of pro~ng. I rarely used to watch ''The Real World." After ''The Mole" went off the air, I decided I had to take a break from these shows. I would watch "Diff'rent Strokes" waiting for Arnold and Willis to challenge each other to either - wear leg casts for a day or dye their hair

"Fear Factor" prenrlered during the summer season. At first I was reluctant to watch it. The commercials would concern me as to what people would do. I would not tum my television on to NBC at 8 p.m. on Sundays. It would just sort of be on as I was talking on the phone or conoing home from work. Then I would start to watch. I could not turn away from the' stunts even as feelings of disgust and anticipation filled me. I couldn't believe that people would eat sheep's eyes, live worms and brains after they had jumped out of windows, flung themselves facefirst to the ground and rock climbed a moving tractor-trailer. It was insanity at its finest, greed in its purest. The contestants rarely had any shame. They would do anything so that they could be that closer to the grand prize. I am still amazed at what those people would do.

It makes me wonder why the networks keep putting shows on like this. I know that the public watches them; I am guilty of this myself. I love to feel my heart in my chest and my stomach drop as each contestant makes his or her attempt at an. obstacle. However, they can say no. Network executives should know when reality television, which is hardly reality itself, becomes too extreme. They should be able to judge what is best for their contestants, not just their ratings.

The most recent example of disregard for contestants occurred last Tuesday in response to the attacks on our nation. It was reported to me that the contestants still in the house on the show "Big Brother" were not told what happened because they are not supposed to have contact with the outside world. Perhaps the network felt that it would be better to keep the news from the contestants. I think this was mainly because they did not want anyone to quit the show.

I feel this is a little extreme. There is a certain amount of responsibility the network has to take in a situation like this. We can all remember where·we were on Sept. 11, 2001. These poor individuals will forever remember that they were stuck in some house for a stupid television show. What if they had relatives noissing? Does our need to have shows like this have to exceed our feelings as humans? When will we draw the line?

As we all know time is meant for one thing. Time is meant to be passed. It is a struggle that so many of us deal wit h on a daily basis. Nothing I can think of works as well as Michael A Kazanjian the tried and true editor in chief • board game.

Before you rush out to K.B. please take careful note of this article. You never truly know a person until you play them in a board game. I do not care if it is your father, mother, sister, girlfriend, boyfriend, dog, cat, fish, neighbor with the smelly house, whoever, by the end of the game your hands are set to strangle. It is okay, time is flying by.

What baffles me most about playing games is how often the rules change from the time the game starts until it ends. Everyone's guilty of doing this, myself included. So why do the rules change so often? I will tell you why. We all want to win. By the time the Scrabble bag runs down to the last two letters you are as beaten down as a heavyweight who has gone the distance. It is a battle. It is a struggle. I must win. The sad thing is that I lose on a regular basis.

Scrabble can cause me to lose sleep. A few nights ago I was having a great game. I just used my Q and victory was nearly mine. But then the inevitable was about to occur. I reached into the bag to pull out my next set of letters, I looked and then the horror set in. In my possession I had, in the following order, JOO O O I I. It was over. Not just the game, but also my night. An hour and a half right down the drain. Perfect. Just as I intended.

Another time muncher is Trivial Pursuit. Now some people I know are very superstitious Pursuit players. The wedges have to placed in just the right order or it is unbalanced. If your wedges somehow fall out of your holder you noight as well quit, the bad luck is overbearing. What puzzles me more than the game itself is the thought that some people actually know the answer to some of these questions. How many muscles does a dog use to move its ears? Unless you are a regular on Animal Planet I do not expect anyone to know that. But Trivial Pursuit takes longer to finish than Scrabble. Three hours you will never see again later and it is time for bed.

But what is the Mother of all time wasters? One word says it all: Monopoly. I have played this game a thousand times and I still have yet to finish a game. I have never even bought a hotel. I have passed GO more times than I would like to adnoit but I have never, ever finished. This is it. It is the king. If you have time to kill, Monopoly supplies the funeral, viewing and burial of time all in one. I am not saying it is a bad game, I am saying it takes more endurance than the guy who takes a cannonball to the stomach at carnivals. Six hours later and you are still not done. You have noissed lunch and dinner trying to win and all you got was hungry. Let me sing your praises Monopoly, you can make time disappear like no other.

So there is my boring life. I have nothing better to do than pass the time by playing board games. Nothing better to do than tell you about playing board games. I am getting bored. Scrabble anyone?

The Loquitur editors and staff would like to apologize for our gullibility. We were pulled into the rumor and then in turn pulled you into the rumor of Nostradamus and his prophecy about the World Trade centers being attacked. The hoax was revealed after the pages hit the printer. We promise to do out best not to let this happen again.