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The stories below are real. They were featured in real periodicals. They happened to real people.

by Renee Tomcanin managing editor

The Polka Fine

Next time you are cruising the streets in your car, you may want to think .twice about turning up the volume. A judge in Cleveland, OH came up with a unique sentence to combat high stereo volume.

According to Planetsave.com, Alan Law, 19, was given the choice of paying a $100 fine or listening to four straight hours of polka. Law chose the musical sentence and spent his Thursday afternoon listening to Frank Yankovic.

Judge John Nicholson, who created the interesting sentence, said he chose polka music because he didn't think that people of Law's age cared for that type of music.

Law has reconsidered plans to purchase a new stereo for his vehicle.

Bigfoot sighting

A recent Bigfoot hoax has been exposed for what it really was-a scam to get on the Howard Stem show.

Simon Garth was the butt of a practical joke when he was called about the frozen corpse of Sasquatch in his freezer. Immediately stories were posted all over the Internet that Garth had shot and killed the mythical monster. However, two of Garth's friends had set up the whole thing.

"It's been a fun day. I wish I did have Bigfoot in a meat locker," Garth said.

Reporter David Moye of the W1reless Flash first broke the story. He found a posting on eBay by Garth auctioning off Bigfoot's soul. It was soon revealed however that all Garth had wanted to ·do was talk to Howard Stem.

Now that the 4oax has been revealed, Garth is receiving complaints from Bigfoot fans and still hasn't received a call from Howard Stem.

Sign Theft

Citizens in Linesville, Pa. find themselves faced with an ironic situation. An anticrime organization found themselves victim of a crime, the theft of their crime watch signs.

Five signs, poles included, were taken from roadsides in Linesville. The organization isn't sure if this is someone trying to get even, but they are sure of one thing.

"We don't think it was kids because the signs were gone, post and all," Ed Barker, chairman of the North Shenango Township Crime Watch chapter, said.

Not Your Mother's Home cooking

Two American Mormons visiting in Melbourne, Austrailia were served a particularly tasty treat.

Alexander McLean was charged with serving cookies containing cannibus to the two 19 year-olds. The duo started to feel strange. They believed their distorted vision and hearing was due to a gas leak. After checking into a hospital, they tested positive for cannibus.

McLean was given a two month suspended sentence. He said that the Mormons were nice young men.

"If they ever knock on our door again they are quite welcome to come in and have a cup of coffee and a biscuit," McLean said. All stories from forteantimes.com and wacky