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ocal L Issue 4 July 2010

Answer

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Page 2 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

MOVING ALONG TOGETHER B e r e avement Support Group

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The Local Answer

July 2010

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Page 4 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Tall ships spectacle arrives next month In a month’s time one of the world’s biggest maritime festivals will be arriving right on our doorstep.

From August 7-10 Hartlepool will be hosting The Tall Ships Races, England’s largest free event this year. A total of 67 ships from countries as far afield as Indonesia and Oman will be sailing into port in the second and final race from Kristiansand in Norway. 20 of these will be the impressive Class A square rigged vessels which will be berthed in Victoria Harbour. There will be opportunities to board some of the ships and see what life’s like for the crew on board. But visitors will also be able to sample delicacies from around the world and buy exotic goods within the massive Tall Ships Village complex.

Entertainment highlights will include street theatre and the colourful Crew Parade.

and those people who take advantage of the service will also receive a voucher offering £2 off a copy of the Official And the fun won’t Guide. People prestop in the evenings. booking park and ride Visitors will be treated places will receive their to spectacular firework park and ride receipt displays and a music and discount voucher by line-up that includes return e-mail which they Doves, Echo and the must print off and bring Bunnymen and Ocean along with them. You Colour Scene. can also pre-book spaces by phone (01429 523636) If you are planning to or in person at the Civic travel by car to the Tall Centre at the same Ships Races in Hartlepool discounted rate. you can pre book your places online. Prebookings will close on the 23 July so make sure Reservations can be you take advantage of the made on-line via the Tall discounts. Ships website at

hartlepooltallships2010. com and by following the “park and ride” link on the homepage. Pre-booked places will be offered at a discounted rate of £7.50 per day (normally £10)

The Tall Ships Races 2010 in Hartlepool will be a fantastic, fun-filled event for all the family this summer. And it’s only just up the road.

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

Page 5

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Page 6 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

It just had to be a Yorkshireman! We aren’t really sure why but to the outside world the general conception of a Yorkshireman is that he’s a dour humourless type who won’t part with his brass unless it’s really necessary. Those of us who know better realize that the main problem is that most people outside the county don’t really understand the accent or they would realize there is an awful lot of humour within the ridings. To demonstrate that fact we’ve put together a few stories that certainly made us laugh. They are, of course, best enjoyed when read in a broad Yorkshire accent! A Yorkshire couple are playing 'I spy' in the kitchen of their home. 'I spy with my little eye something beginning with T' said the husband. "Tea pot said the wife." 'Nay Lass!' "Tea towel." 'Nay Lass!' "Toaster." 'Nay Lass!' he said, drumming his fingers on the work top. "Oh I don't know" she said at long last "I give in" 'It's easy' he said. 'It's t'oven!' A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet. When it was his turn he says to the vet ‘I need to talk to thee about me cat.’ The vet said ‘is it a tom.’ The yorkshireman replied ‘nay lad, a’ve browt it wi’ me.’ A Yorkshire man’s dog dies and he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweler to remember it by. He walked into the jeweller’s with a picture of his pet and said ‘can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?’ ‘Does tha want it 18 carat?’ asked the jeweler. ‘Nay yer daft bugger, I want it chewin a bone!’ A Yorkshire man's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it. He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be

ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look. When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "she were thin". He explodes – bloody 'ell man, you've left the flamin’ "e" out. The stone mason apologised and assured the poor widower that it would be rectified the following morning. Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you". The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud - "E, she were thin". Driving to work a Yorkshireman noticed an RAC patrolman sitting in his van sobbing uncontrollably. ‘Ey up,’ he thought. ‘That poor sod’s heading for a breakdown.’ A couple of cockneys are about to open a store in Leeds and are working on the décor. ‘I’ll tell you what,’ said the first. Any minute now some daft Yorkshireman is going to come in here and ask what we’re selling and I’m going to have some fun with him.’ Sure enough, Fred wanders in off the street and says ‘Hey up lads, what’s tha selling?’ The cockney grinned and said ‘we’re selling pillocks.’ ‘Tha’s doin’ well then,’ says Fred. ‘Only two left!’ A Yorkshireman was about to go on holiday so his mate says ‘Ee Fred, can tha bring me some fags back – 200 Benson & Hedges?’ ‘Aye’ said Fred. Two weeks later he comes back, meets his friend in the pub and says ‘I’ve got thee fags, Tha owes me £74-50.’ ‘Bloody hell, ‘says his mate. ‘Where did tha go for thee ‘olidays?’ ‘ Scarborough,’ says Fred.

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

Page 7

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Page 8 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

The trouble with research... You can always tell when there isn’t much happening in the news because that’s when TV editors invariably need to fill their half hour slot with the latest whacky research from some American University or other. The trouble is that the more paranoid among us take it all very seriously and try to adjust their lifestyles and diets accordingly. Unfortunately, since many of the survey results contradict each other they tend to create confusion and don’t really do anyone any good at all. I’ve therefore been taking note of some of the recent findings and – in my case anyway – am delighted to adapt the advice that suits me and ignore that which doesn’t! What do you think? 1. ‘A recent US study’ found that ‘keeping in touch with family and friends is good for the health because research has revealed that loneliness and stress could be linked to a higher risk of developing cancer.’ I can’t see how, personally, but any idiot knows that being close to family and friends is a natural human trait and must OBVIOUSLY be good for you. I could have told them that without being paid a fortune for it! 2. A daily dose of pistachio nuts could reduce your risk of developing some cancers, ‘according to US researchers.’ Another bunch claim that pistachios make you fat and obesity is a contributory factor to heart disease. I love the things personally so I eat as many as I like AND TAKE EXCERCISE. Solves everything! 3. Coffee has health boosting properties but researchers believe drinking it to fight a hangover is risky because caffeine makes you feel you’re no longer drunk when actually you still are. Surely that’s the whole point.

4. Research by Oxford University has revealed that 30 minutes of juggling a day could improve your brain power by five per cent. You have to be able to do it first! 5. Researchers claim that within ten years 81 per cent of men will be overweight. They’ve obviously never seen the crowd at a Newcastle United match or they would know we are there already! 6. Successful dieting isn’t just about will power, according to research. The intricacy of your diet plan also plays a big part with complicated diets full of rules and continuous weighing of food putting slimmers off. It’s the lack of food that would stop me! 7. If you’re over 45 you’re less likely to be fit, claim scientists. On average our fitness levels decline as we age, making us more likely to become overweight. Hell, that’s not research, it’s nature! When you really examine the results of all these researchers theoretically earning pots of money for crackpot notions it makes you wonder why everyone doesn’t do it. Stating the obvious is something we’re all good at.

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The Local Answer

July 2010

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Page 10 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Does it matter who earns the most? It has emerged over the last few years that in many modern households the female partner earns more than the male. (Not referring to ‘man and wife’ is intentional rather than an oversight because it is also a rapidly increasing phenomenon that the number of unmarried couples co-habiting is overtaking those that have actually ‘tied the knot.’)

But is this statistic all that surprising? In a recent article in one of the numerous women’s magazines now available it was fascinating to note that two female ‘celebrities’ differed wildly in their opinions. Anthea Turner, presenter and author of ‘How to be the perfect housewife’ quite clearly believed that men should earn more than their partners. ‘It makes perfect sense,’ she said, ‘that a man should be the major wage earner. It isn’t about feminism,’ she continued, ‘but the fact that there is something in a man’s DNA that makes him the ‘hunter/gatherer that wants to bring the carcass back to the lair. I think that men feel better earning more and that makes for a happier partnership. I know couples where the woman earns more than the man and they’re not comfortable in their relationships.’ In complete contrast former Daily Mirror editor Eve Pollard takes the feminist view. ‘Men like a certain amount of power in a partnership,’ she says, ‘but if a woman earns more the balance of power shifts. That’s not a necessarily bad thing. It’s fantastic to have the money for treats – if you earned it you can spend it.’ These are two entirely different points of view that perhaps reflect the real problems with modern relationships. The female desire to have individuality is a recent phenomenon and seems to totally overrule the real concept of a marriage. Let’s be honest, marriage where the man earns, the woman stays at home to rear the children, then everything else – including lifestyle decisions – are shared has been a successful concept for centuries. The success of that concept, however, relies on the male being as sharing as the female and not believing his income to be purely his own just because his name is on the paycheque. The modern relationship differs from that because expectations on both sides are higher. Sadly, it is the increased awareness of ‘how the other half lives’ that tends to raise the expectations – and consequently the disappointments – of many modern couples. The fact remains, however, that the happiest marriages are still true partnerships where decisions are made jointly, budgets are discussed and planned and whatever income is earned is used for the benefit of the family and not the individual! For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

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Page 11


Page 12 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Football does have a lighter side!

It’s been a nervy few weeks as we watch the World Cup unfold so we decided that to relieve the pressure a little we would show that football really does have a funnier side. Here are some excellent examples: (also see page 16) A man arrives at the gates of heaven, where St Peter greets him and says, "Before I can let you enter I must ask you what you have done in your life that was particularly good or brave." The man racks his brains for a few minutes and then admits to St Peter that he hasn't done anything particularly good in his life but he had been brave. "I was refereeing this important match between Liverpool and Everton at Anfield,” he said, “and with the score at nil-nil a minute before the end I awarded a penalty against Liverpool in front of the Cop." "Yes," responded St Peter, "I agree that was a real act of bravery. Can you perhaps tell me when this took place?" "Certainly," the man replied, "about three minutes ago. It was only the fourth week of the season and United's new goalkeeper had already let in twenty-seven goals. He was having a drink in a pub one night when a man approached him and said, 'I've been watching you play, son, and I think I might be able to help you.' 'Are you a trainer?' said the young goalkeeper hopefully. 'No,' said the stranger, 'I'm an optician.' Two boys were playing with a new football in the road outside their house. "Hey,"' shouted their mother, "where did you get that football?" "We found it," replied one of the boys. "Are you sure it was lost?" asked the mother. "Yes," replied the boy, "we saw some people looking for it."' There was once a fanatical Spurs supporter who thought of nothing but football all day long. He talked about football, read about football, watched nothing but football on television and attended matches as often as he possibly could. At last his poor wife could stand it no longer. One night she said, 'I honestly believe you love Spurs more than you love me!' 'Bloody hell,' said her husband, 'I love Accrington Stanley more than I love you!' The angry captain snarled at the referee. 'What would happen if I called you a blind bugger who couldn't make a good decision to save his life?' 'It would be a red card for you.' said the referee. 'And what if I only thought you were a blind bugger who couldn’t make a good decision to save his life?’ asked the captain. ‘That's different. I can’t do anything about what you think,' said the referee. ‘In that case,’ said the captain, ‘I think you’re a blind bugger who couldn’t make a good decision to save his life.’ A Darlington fan was telling his mate about the club’s new manager. ‘He won't stand for any nonsense,’ he explained. ‘Last Saturday he caught a couple of fans climbing over the stadium wall. He was furious. He grabbed them by the collars and said, "Now you just get back in there and watch the game till it finishes." Two fans arrived at an away game two hundred miles from home. The first looked around and said "I wish I'd brought my piano to the stadium." The second fan said "Why would you want to bring your piano to the football game?"First fan: "Because I left the bloody tickets on it." For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

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Page 14 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Gok – both stylish and entertaining! I never thought I’d hear myself lament the end of a TV series on women’s fashion but the sad truth is that now its current run is over I’m going to miss ‘Gok’s Fashion Fix’ on a Tuesday night. They say that gay men get on better with women than women themselves and this series shows not only the truth of that statement but also the reason why. The boy has real talent for design and he certainly knows how to dress the best out of a woman. It is, however, the way he goes about it that women obviously love. Open and honest to the point of bluntness he still manages to get his message across without any offence whatsoever and he does it with real style.

If it was a woman saying the same things to her peers it would probably create World War 3, but Gok can openly tell a woman that she is ‘pear shaped’ or ‘top heavy’ while simultaneously concentrating on her good points so no offence seems to be taken. Picking out a woman as the one with ‘the worst wardrobe in the City’ is not seen as an insult but as a possible route to redemption and the recipient is always delighted to be chosen. And what he does with them after that can sometimes take your breath away. The other brilliant aspect of the programme is his competition with the dreadful fashion buyer Brix SmithStart where high end fashion competes with High Street as Gok strives to prove that you don't need to spend a fortune to look fantastic. Casting votes are made not only by Gok's faithful followers but also a front row of the most discerning fashion people in town. He invariably wins, of course, proving that the ‘designer label ’rip-off’ that has been going on for years can be overcome with the right attitude and ability. A great programme even for us totally unstylish men!

Sudoku There is really only one rule to Sudoku: Fill in the game board so that the numbers 1 through 9 occur exactly once in each row, column, and 3x3 box. The numbers can appear in any order and diagonals are not considered. Your initial game board will consist of several numbers that are already placed. Those numbers cannot be changed. Your goal is to fill in the empty squares following the simple rule above. Answers on page 20 For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

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Page 16 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Football does have a lighter side! (Part 2) football really does have a funnier side (also see page 12) David Beckham goes shopping and spots a Thermos flask. 'What's that for?' he says. 'It's to keep hot things hot and cold things cold,' says the salesman. Beckham buys one and takes it home to show Posh. 'It's to keep hot things hot and cold things cold,' he says. 'You ought to take it to work,' she tells him. So he takes it in to training the following day. 'What've you got there, son?' asks Sir Alex. It’s called a flask’ said David. ‘It's to keep hot things hot and cold things cold.’ 'That's a good idea,' says Fergie. 'What have you got in it?' 'Coffee,' says David. 'And some ice cream.' After a tragic plane crash Sir Alex Ferguson, Fabio Capello and Arsene Wenger are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says; “before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in.” Capello looks God in the eye and states passionately, “I believe Football should bring unbridled joy to all the people from the slums of Rio to the bright lights of Madrid. I have devoted my life to it.” God nods and offers Capello the seat to his left. Wenger stands tall and says “I believe courage, honour and passion are fundamental to life and I’ve spent my managerial career providing a living embodiment of these traits.” God, moved by the passion of the speech offers Wenger the seat to his right. Finally, he turns to Alex Ferguson. “And you, Sir Alex, what do you believe?” “I believe” says Sir Alex, “that you’re sitting in my seat.”

Brain teasers

Try these ten brain teasers and check how much you know! 1. Who topped the charts in 1973 with ‘Can the Can?’ 2. Which Yorkshire city stands on the River Aire 3. In which city did Inspector Morse operate? 4. Who was the first player to score five goals in one match in the Premiership? 5. In which year did Tony Blair become Labour Party leader? 6. Where was the first Butlin’s Holiday camp located? 7. In the proverb ‘The road to Hell is paved with.....’ What? 8. Which radio programme was presented by Roy Plomley for 43 years between 1942 and 1985? 9. Which series of children’s books were written by the Revd. W Awdry? 10. Name the four acts to have had a number one hit with ‘Unchained Melody.’ Answers on page 20 For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

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30% Spring Discounts 01642 919873

or

07774 063710

ievaulx ecor

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Freephone: 0800 917 0550 Tel: 01642 898987

COMBI-UK Fires-Fireplaces-Heating

5 Year

Warranty On All Worcester Boilers

Visit Our Showroom: 1-5 Hartington Road, Middlesbrough, TS1 5ED Tel: 01642 865 865 www.combi-uk.com

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.


Page 18 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Stop Wasting Energy and Money Now We are all aware of global warming, climate change , and the need to reduce 'greenhouse gas' emissions into the atmosphere wherever and whenever we can. In the current economic climate we also want to stop wasting energy and money.

Craig Wilson, Managing Director of Wilson Plumbing and Heating says " The summer months are a great time to assess how efficient your heating is, enabling you to take any action needed before winter sets in. During the summer months we have special offers which makes any corrective action even more cost effective". The boiler is at the heart of any central heating system. However all the other components i.e. radiators, timers/ thermostats, and radiator valves are vital to the overall comfort and efficiency. • Boilers. Some older boilers (10-15 years old) can be as low as 60-70% efficient. This means you could be wasting as much as 30-40 pence in every pound spent on fuel bills. Upgrade to a new, condensing SEDBUK 'A' rated boiler, such as a Worcester Greenstar for example, and at least 90 pence of every pound spent on fuel will be used to provide heating and hot water for your home. Filters such as a Magnaclean Professional can be installed on the pipe work to your boiler. This filter will remove virtually 100% of suspended black iron oxide. The recent boiler scrappage scheme has been closed with all 125,000 vouchers issued, but perhaps the new government will consider providing more funding to encourage us all to upgrade our boilers to energy efficient models. There are grants available if

you are over 60, on certain benefits, or switching from coal or electric to gas or oil, or from oil to gas. Wilson Plumbing and Heating be able to guide you as to which grants may be applicable and how to apply.

• Radiators. Maybe you have noticed cold spots at the bottom of your radiator, or just feel the system does not heat your house the way it used to. It is not unusual for a radiator with several years service to have a significant level of debris present. This debris will prevent the radiator warming the room. Cleaning (flushing)your dirty system can improve efficiency by up to 15%. Having thermostatic radiator valves (TRV's) fitted enables you to control the temperature in each room individually. As well as maintaining your comfort levels at different times of the day, TRV's also provide a simple means of reducing running costs. • Heating Controls. Turn your thermostat down. Reducing your room temperature by 1 degree could cut your heating bills by up to 10% and typically save around £55 per year. If you have a programmer set your heating and hot water to come on only when required, rather than all of the time. Why not give your heating system a new lease of life? Arrange for a free survey and system flushing quotation with Wilson Plumbing and Heating. Quote 'Local Answer' to receive a discounted rated.

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

Page 19

WILSON Plumbing & Heating Experienced, reliable, trustworthy heating engineers

5 Ye

War ra

ar

nty

Providing a professional, quality service

on Wor all ces Boile ter rs

SUMMER SPECIALS

£10 Discount on boiler servicing Prices from £45* £50 Discount on system flushing Prices from £199* Includes free gas safety check Quote ‘Local Answer’ to qualify *Prices exclude VAT and are shown after discount applied

GAS - OIL - LPG - WARM AIR - UNDER FLOOR - SOLAR Our Domestic & Commercial service include: • • • •

Heating Installation Repairs & Servicing Boiler Replacements System Upgrades

• • • •

Landlord Gas Safety Certs Energy Efficiency Inspections System Power Flushing Worcester Accredited Installer

Telephone: 01642 487309 www.cawheating.co.uk

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.


Page 20 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Eat Healthily with this spicy chicken and cauliflower pie.

If you want to lose fat, you need to create a 'caloric deficit'. That is, take in less calories from your food than you burn up by your daily living and exercise. Obviously, you will lose fat (and weight) quicker if you reduce your energy intake and increase your exercise levels - but what is important is that you adopt a weight loss program that is sustainable in the long term. Some diets just focus on reducing calories in general, balancing low fat and low carbohydrates and allowing foods like bread and pasta in moderation as long as they are part of healthy recipes. Whatever type of diet you choose you will find they all rely on eating properly and so we continue to provide recipes that are not only enjoyable but also very good for you. Ingredients: 1 tablespoon olive oil 1/4 head cauliflower, cut into florets; 2 carrots, peeled and chopped; 2 celery stalks, chopped; 1/2 red or yellow onion, chopped; 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 3⁄4 pound), cut into 2-inch cubes; 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour; 1/2 teaspoon salt; 1/2 teaspoon mild chili powder; 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper; 1/4 teaspoon paprika; 1 1/2 cups fat-free milk; 1 cup frozen peas; 2 tablespoons reduced-fat mayonnaise; 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard; 4 large sheets of phyllo pastry • Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Heat the oil in a large skillet over mediumhigh heat. • Add the cauliflower, carrots, celery, and onions. Cook 8 to 10 minutes, until the vegetables soften. Sprinkle the chicken with the flour, salt, chili powder, pepper, and paprika. Add the chicken to the skillet. Cook 2 to 3 minutes, stirring once or twice, until the chicken just starts to brown and is cooked through. • Add the milk to the skillet and bring it to a boil, stirring often, until a thick sauce forms. Add the peas, mayonnaise and mustard. Simmer 5 to 10 minutes, until the cauliflower is tender. Transfer the chicken mixture to four ovenproof bowls. Coat each sheet of phyllo with cooking spray and stack the sheets on top of each other. Cut the stack into four pieces and press each piece on top of each bowl. Bake the potpies 10 minutes, until the phyllo is crisp. Serve immediately.

Solutions

Answers 1. Suzi Quatro 2. Leeds 3. Oxford 4. Andy Cole 5. 1994 6. Skegness 7. Good Intentions 8. Desert Island Discs 9. Thomas the Tank Engine 10. Jimmy Young; The Righteous Brothers; Robson & Jerome; Gareth Gates. Visit our website:

www.local-answer.co.uk For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

Page 21

FULL COLOUR LEAFLETS

Designed + Printed + Distributed from only £75 per thousand

CALL: 01642 483304

Price based on 10,000 A5 Leaflets printed on 120gm gloss & distributed on a shared basis. Offer for a limited time only.

ALL ASPECTS OF BUILDING A STAR

Bricklaying, Plastering, Joinery, Roofing, Guttering, Tiling, Painting & Decorating. BUILDING 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE

Tel Gary on: 01287 659236 or Mobile: 07917 403517

INSTALLATION - MAINTENANCE - UPGRADES -

• Free Estimates • All Work Carried Out By Professional Tradesmen • Commercial & Domestic

OVER 60?

Annual gas boiler service for £40 inc vat. Back Boilers £60

No Job Too Small or Large

DON’T FORGET

OFFROADNORTHEAST If you live anywhere in the North East UK and own a Landrover, Range Rover, Discovery, Suzuki, Daihatsu, Toyota, Jeep, Vauxhall or other 4x4 and you are interested in off road driving then you have come to the right place. Meet other 4x4 offroad lovers locally and find out information on local events, shows and services. Joining our 4x4 offroad community and forum is FREE!

The Warm Front Grant For Over 60’s Worth £300 (ask for details)

• • • •

Central Heating Radiators Boilers Gas

visit: www.offroadnortheast.co.uk

Services Ltd

5 YEAR GUARANTEE

ON ALL WORCESTER BOSCH BOILERS

Tel: (Redcar) 488818 Same Day Service

Call Martin on: 01642 296276 or FREE on 0800 955 6276

Gas Safe & Corgi Reg No. 180690

Peirson St. Redcar, TS10 1SW

www.mwcservices.co.uk

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.


Page 22 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

More classic sporting quotes.

I’ve often thought that if some of our favourite sports stars couldn’t kick a ball or run faster than the majority they’d be hard pushed to find worthwhile employment anywhere else? Well now we’ve managed to track down some more quotations loosely based around sport that suggest the same also applies to some of the commentators! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

12. 13. 14. 15. 16.

‘I’m not gonna try to predict what I’m gonna do, Harry, but I’m gonna come out the winner’ – Frank Bruno ‘England might now be favourites to draw this match’ – Vic Marks, Test Match Special ‘Man, I used to be so bad at sports that they picked me after the white kids’ – Chris Rock ‘Street hockey is great for kids. It’s energetic, competitive and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the streets’ – Chris Hollins, Breakfast BBC1. ‘I was watching what I thought was Sumo wrestling on TV for two hours before I realised it was darts.’ – Hattie Hayridge ‘You must have trained very hard to swim the Atlantic because not many people have done it.’ ‘It was the channel, Richard, the bloody channel.’ – Richard Madely and David Walliams on Richard & Judy. 7. ‘I can’t see who’s in the lead but it’s either Oxford or Cambridge.’ – John Snaggs, commenting on the Boat Race. 8. ‘Kris, do you have to plan your tactics before the race or do you just try to run faster than the other blokes?’ – Mrs Merton to Kris Akabusi. 9. ‘There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class’ – Ron Pickering commentating on an athletics meeting. 10. ‘No one hands you the F A Cup on a plate’ – Terry McDermott 11. ‘I know what a goal is, which is surely the main thing even if I don’t know the offside rule or free kicks – or side kicks or whatever they’re called’ – Victoria Beckham. ‘I’d compare him to the incomparable George Best’ – David Pleat on Ronaldo. ‘That was a tremendous free kick. It would probably have gone in if he had put it where he intended to put it’ – Stan Collymore ‘The referee said Warhurst had been sent off for foul and abusive language but the lad swears blind he never said a word!’ – Joy Royle ‘The best thing for them to do is keep it at nil-nil until they score a goal’ – Martin O Neill ‘I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat!’ – Ron Atkinson

To Advertise In The Local Answer Call 01642 483304 For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

Page 23

COMBI-UK CREATE YOUR IDEAL BATHROOM (Free Design & Installation Service Available)

185995

Visit Our Showroom: 1-5 Hartington Road, Middlesbrough, TS1 5ED Tel: 01642 228588 www.combi-uk.com

You can do it YOURSELF! We stock an extensive range of building plastics: Roofline, guttering, cladding, window boards, cills, trims, sealants and accessories.

FREE LOCAL DELIVERY

Also suppliers of: • Everbuild products • Internal / External Door Furniture • Loft Ladders • Draft Proofing (For Wood & PVC) • Replacement Locks, Cylinders, Letter Boxes, Handles & Much More • Polycarbonate Roof System

Trade & Public Welcome Opening Times: 8am - 5pm Monday - Friday 8am - 12pm Saturday Visit our showroom or call for expert help and advice

Tel: 01642 455 945 Email: sales@mb-distribution.co.uk

DISTRIBUTION

6 Wallis Road, Skippers Lane Ind. Est. Middlesbrough TS6 6JB P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.


Page 24 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

SELF-DEFENCE PRIVATE SELF-DEFENCE TUITION

Mark Paterson has 30 years experience in self-defence and martial arts, is an 8th dan Master Instructor and is fully CRB checked. Over the years Mark has learned what will and won’t work in the heat of a real attack and has developed a system which does NOT require a high level of fitness and so can be used by anyone regardless of age, gender or physical ability.

As ed featur V CT on BB io 4 & Rad

Sessions can be held in our fully equipped training facility, or in your home, or venue of your choice. Training can be tailored to meet the needs of the individual student and group sessions are also available. Your first 1hour session is free! For more details contact Mark Paterson on:

01287 280860 or 07795 460889 Email: mark.paterson900@ntlworld.com

www.zanshinmartialarts.co.uk

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

Page 25

Making Life Easier with...

Slingsby Interiors

NOW OPEN We have created an area within our existing showroom displaying beautifully designed shower rooms for people with special needs & disabilities. We believe that being free to shower independently in safety shouldn’t mean compromising on style.

PRICE INCENTIVES AVAILABLE

For Bathrooms Changed To Service A Disability

SALE Ex-display stock at discount prices Pierson Street, Redcar, TS10 1SW

Tel: 01642 488818

Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm Saturday 10am - 1pm

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.


Page 26 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Lakes Limousines Introducing The Pink Lady Available For All Occasions Day Or Night 8 Seat Limousine

The MagnaClean TwinTech offers a daul action filtration system, both magnetic and non-magnetic, meaning that this central heating filter can remove virtucally 100% of black iron oxide and non-magnetic particals and debris from your central heating system making it an extremely efficient central heating filter.

Complimentary Drinks Included With All Bookings

Contact Ron:

01642 485417

Visit our new website at www.lakes-limos.co.uk

MagnaClean TwinTech is a proven technology and with its powerful magnetic and nonmagnetic filtration characteristics, the benefits for new and existing central heating systems are immediate.

OVER 40% OFF RRP

Deadline For The Next Edition is:

Friday 23rd July

For Alterations / Cancellations

22mm TwinTech only £105.99 RRP £178.99 Price include vat

Available online only from:

www.rubberduckbathrooms.co.uk 60% off refers to the Mangaclean 22mm

lity s a u n Q Price o l a S rnet Inte Professional Hair & Beauty Products for all of your hair, manicure and pedicure needs.

NOW STOCKING

HUMAN HAIR EXTENSION

10 % OFF

your order total with coupon ‘localanswer’ Cleveland Customers Only. Enter during checkout.

New range of real human hair extensions now in stock

Visit our secure online store at

www.hairorder.co.uk

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

FULL COLOUR FULL PAGE ADVERT Designed FREE, Printed & Distributed from only

£12.22

inc VAT per thousand households

CALL: 01642 483304

Price based on series booking in the Stockton, Ingleby Barwick Edition of the Local Answer

www.riseand-shinecleaning.co.uk

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 27


Page 28 The Local Answer

July 2010

Website www.local-answer.co.uk

Complete Design & Installation Service The Very Best PVCu Conservatories & Windows

We supply & fit quality conservatories, windows & doors. No sales reps - helps keep our prices low All types of building work undertaken

30 Years

Over Experience in Conservatory Design, Manufacture and Installation for Complete Peace-of-mind

DISCOUNT WINDOWS & CONSERVATORIES

All Inclusive Conservatories

3x3 not from, but £4,200 4x3 not from, but £5,200 4x4 not from, but £6,400 Including dwarf wall, plastering, 2 electric points, French doors & cills.

Tel 01642 466694 Mob: 07967 590572 Unit 2, Stapylton Court, Bolckow Ind. Est. Grangetown

East Cleveland’s Largest

Fireplace Showroom! Up to 100 Fireplaces & Surrounds on Display! •A Family Run Business For Over 17 Years •Gas & Electric Fires • Fire Surrounds •Cast Iron Inserts • Multi Fuel & Gas Stoves •Marble & Slate • Complete Fitting Service •Service & Repair of Gas Fires

FIRES & fireplaces

The Old Co-op Building, 7/8 Holmbeck Road, North Skelton

KINDER

The only gas fire guaranteed for life. The only place you’ll find them round here

01287 653353

Open: Mon- Sat 10am - 5pm Closed: Wed & Sun www.myfiresnfireplaces.co.uk

For information about the Local Answer visit www.local-answer.co.uk


The Local Answer

July 2010

Page 29

THE BEST WAY TO ATTRACT LOCAL CUSTOMERS The Local Answer publication is the most effective way to attract local customers. Its convenient A5 size and monthly format makes it easy to keep handy in a drawer or by the telephone. An alphabetical index of services, at the back, is always at hand and easy to use.

Your Area Your Customers

20,000 copies

Ingleby Barwick, Stockton & Norton Edition

With a combined free distribution of over 52,400 copies delivered monthly to households in Redcar, Marske, Guisborough, East Cleveland, Loftus, Stockton, Ingleby Barwick & Surrounding Areas. The Local Answer offers readers a true snapshot of local businesses.

Rate Guide Per Issue Per Month 1/8

1/4

1/2

Full

2 Months (min) Black & White

£45

£67

£126

£226

2 Months (min) Full Colour

£52

£74

£137

£242

6 Months Series Black & White

£39

£58

£107

£192

6 Months Series Full Colour

£46

£65

£118

£208

We will design your advertisement FREE of charge and advertisers will receive a proof copy prior to publication. Your advert can be changed every month. All billing is on a pay as you go basis monthly. There is a minimum contract of two months. New customers must pay for their initial advertisements in advance.

For More Information Call 01642 483304 www.local-answer.co.uk The Local Answer is published by Media Solutions NE Ltd. 48 Cranbourne Drive, Redcar, TS10 2SP

17,500 copies

Redcar, Marske & New Marske Edition

14,900 copies

Saltburn, East Cleveland, Loftus & Guisborough Edition

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.


INDEX OF ADVERTISERS

Aerials (TV) MWC Services . . . . . . . Page 21 Animal Hutches/Kennels Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Appliance Repair Eaglescliffe Domestic . . Page 3 Bathrooms Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 31 Bedrooms Combi-uk . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 23 Slingbys Interiors . . . . . . Page 25 Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 31 Blinds Priory Blinds . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Building Services A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 27 A Star Builders . . . . . . . . Page 21 G & H Builders . . . . . . . Page 15 Business Opportunity Local Answer . . . . . . . . . Page 11 Car Body Repairs Sprayworx . . . . . . . . . . . Page 17 Caravan Lets Caravan-to-let . . . . . . . . Page 2 Caravan Storage Teesside Caravans . . . . Page 2 Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning Heavens Best . . . . . . . . Page 5 Rise & Shine . . . . . . . . . Page 27 Cladding MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 23 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Clubs & Societies Offroadnortheast . . . . . . Page 21 Conservatories A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 27 Discount Windows . . . . Page 28 Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 13 Decorating Service Rievaulx Decor . . . . . . . Page 17 D.I.Y Stores MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 23 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Double Glazing A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 27 Discount Windows . . . . Page 28 Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 13 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Owen Smith . . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 11

Driveways/Patios Creative Landscapes . . Page 1 Designer Driveways . . . Page 17 Electrical Services Apec Electrical . . . . . . . . Page 7 RW Electrical . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Estate Agent Cook & Forth . . . . . . . . . Page 11 Fascias & Soffits MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 23 New Plas Roofline . . . . Page 1 Fencing Creative Landscapes . . Page 1 Fires & Fireplaces Combi-uk . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 17 Fires & Fireplaces . . . . . Page 28 Garage Construction Lidget Concrete Ltd . . . Page 27 Garage Doors Powerdor . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Garden Nurseries Sir Plants Alot . . . . . . . . Page 3 Garden Services Creative Landscapes . . Page 1 Diamond . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Guttering MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 23 New Plas Roofline . . . . Page 1 Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Hair Dressing Supplies HairOrder . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 26 Heating Combi-uk . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 17 Fires & Fireplaces . . . . . Page 28 Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . Page 26 Slingby . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 21 Wilson Plumbing . . . . . . Page 19 Home Maintenance Diamond . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Rievaulx Decor . . . . . . . Page 17 Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 11 Joinery Cleveland Joinery . . . . . Page 13 Kitchens Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 31 Landscaping Creative Landscapes . . Page 1 Limousine Hire Lakes Limos . . . . . . . . . Page 26 Martial Arts & Self Defence Zanshin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 24

Mobile Car Body Repairs Sprayworx . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Mobility Aids MV Mobility . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Oven Cleaning Hobsnobs . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13 Painting & Decor Rievaulx Decor . . . . . . . Page 17 Petcare PetPals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Pluves Pets . . . . . . . . . . Page 2 Plastering P & H Solutions . . . . . . . Page 3 Plumbing & Plumbers DMAC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 11 P & H Solutions . . . . . . . Page 3 Wilson Plumbing . . . . . . Page 19 Roofing Services A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 27 AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . Page 7 New Plas Roofline . . . . Page 1 Satellite TV Installation MWC Services . . . . . . . Page 21 Self Defence Classes Zanshin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 24 Sheds Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 32 Solicitors Williamson Hill . . . . . . . . Page 9 Storage Store It 4 U . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Support Group Moving On . . . . . . . . . . . Page 2 Tiling DMAC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 11 TV Aerials MWC Services . . . . . . . Page 21 Web Design Media Solutions . . . . . . . Page 25 Window Cleaning Rise and Shine . . . . . . . Page 27 Window Repairs A & B Cook . . . . . . . . . . Page 27 Discount Windows . . . . Page 28 Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 13 Owen Smith . . . . . . . . . . Page 9 Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 11 To Advertise Call 01642 483304 Visit our website at: www.local-answer.co.uk

Friendly note to our customers: The index is a free service and the publishers cannot accept responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions. Multiple insertions depend on available space.


The Local Answer

July 2010

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Page 31

Welham Kitchens • Bedrooms • Bathrooms

N EORNDITIO T U DC

3D

N SA MEP RM O T C

MS

S

Exclusive Designs And Custom Built Units, Project Management Service, Tiling, Karndean Flooring, Plastering, all carried out by experienced professional fitters.

Welham Kitchens • Bedrooms • Bathrooms For more information call

01642 491257

or visit www.welhamkitchens.co.uk

BA TH R

OO

M OO DR BE

K

IT

C

H

EN

S

Transform Your Home With A Bespoke Room

CENTRAL HEATING SERVICE Boiler Serviced From £45 plus parts +vat We Supply & Fit All Makes of Boilers. We are located just off the A174 between Redcar & Marske. Look for the Welhams’ roundabout

Visit our Showroom: Zetland Buildings, LongbeckTrading Estate, Marske by the sea. TS11 6HB

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.


POWERTOOLS - HANDTOOLS - SCREWS - BOLTS - NAILS - PLUMBING - ELECTRICAL - SINKS - TAPS - WALL CLADDING - SAND/CEMENT - DECORATING - BLINDS

FRONT DOOR

BACK DOOR

1200

BACK BED

* 1400

*

BACK BED 1400

1600

BATH

Practical and simple to install Compatible with most other plastic systems Ideal Replacement for cast iron Integral lubricated seals

1200

*

1000

1200

KITCHEN

*

1800

1800

GUTTERING 1000

FRONT ROOM

*

1000

FRONT ROOM

1000

1200

QUALITY DOUBLE GLAZING

600

ALL THESE DOORS/WINDOWS FITTED BY OUR OWN FITTERS FOR ONLY £2500 WITH FENSA CERTIFICATED AND INSURANCE GUARANTEE. *ALL SIDE OPENING WINDOWS ARE FIRE ESCAPES. 28MM GLAZING, SHOOT BOLT LOCKING FOR WINDOWS, 3 HOOK 4 ROLLER LOCK, 3 FLAG HINGES (4 IF REQUIRED ON DOORS)

Telephone Your Order and have it dropped off FREE

NORMALLY FITTED WITHIN 10 DAYS FROM ORDER. CALL IN FOR A QUOTE WITH YOUR SIZES.

DOUBLE GLAZING REPAIRS OUR FITTERS WILL BE HAPPY TO HELP GIVE US A CALL

CHROME SWITCHES ETC SELLING OFF AT 25% OFF MARKED PRICES. CLEARANCE LINE WHILE STOCK LASTS

VERTICAL/HORIZONAL BLINDS AT TRADE PRICES UNBEATABLE PRICES FOR D.I.Y CUSTOMERS

SEE OUR SHEDS AT OUR REDCAR BRANCH

Garages

Sheds

Kennels

Animal Hutches

ALL OUR SHEDS ARE COMPLETE WITH GLASS, HARDWARE AND MADE FROM WOOD “NOT” CHIPBOARD. EVERYTHING IS MADE TO MEASURE TO YOUR DESIGN AND SPECIFICATION.

STOCKTON BRANCH

01642 677778

Tel: 1 Portrack Court, Portrack Lane, Stockton, TS18 2HP OPEN: MON-FRI 7:30 - 5:30 • SAT 7:30 - 2pm • SUN 9:30 - 1pm

CRACKING DEALS ON FASCIAS/ SOFFITS & TRIMS. YOU ORDER WE DELIVER. FREE DELIVER FREE PARKING

www.screwsnthings.co.uk YOU CAN ORDER ONLINE AND COLLECT SAVING MORE MONEY Friendly note to our customers: The index is a free service and the publishers cannot accept responsibility or liability for any errors The Local Answer is produced by Solutions NE insertions Ltd (01642) 483304 Printedspace. by Acorn Web Offset (01924) 220633 orMedia omissions. Multiple depend onand available

stockton_ ISSUE4  

www.creativepatios.co.uk Landscape Specialists for the North East Distributed Monthly to over 20,000 Homes Ingleby Barwick, Eaglescliffe, St...

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