Local Answer Ingleby Barwick 128

Ingleby Barwick Edition Issue 128 | January 2021

Answer

Local Happy New Year from the

MAKING EXCELLENCE A HABIT

ROOFING & BUILDING

COMPLETE ROOFING AND BUILDING SPECIALISTS Family Run Business - Since 1976

FREE Estimates - All Work Guaranteed Insurance Backed Guarantees

ROOFING and BUILDING STORE NOW OPEN

01642 473676 / 01287 623048

Email: info.aaaroofing@gmail.com Web: www.aaaroofing.co.uk

FOR ALL YOUR PLUMBING, HEATING AND ELECTRICAL WORK SEE PJS PLUMBING ON PAGE 6

Tel 01642 296513 local-answer.co.uk Carefully distributed by Famous Flyers

Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

33

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AAJ Heating & Plumbing ALL ASPECTS OF PLUMBING & HEATING •LPG•GAS•OIL•

Servicing, Repairs & Installations Contact Alastair Brook

HOUSE CLEARANCE SPECIALIST

• RUBBISH REMOVED & TIPPED LEGALLY • SERVICE TO COMMERCIAL CUSTOMERS SOLICITORS, ESTATE AGENTS & LOCAL AUTHORITY • DISTANCE NO OBJECT

07729 854805 / 01609 882086 brookalastair@yahoo.co.uk

2 Penshaw Close, Ingleby Barwick TS17 0XA

North East Specialists In High Quality Bespoke Wardrobe, Kitchens & Bathrooms From design to installation, Spacemaster offers you a high standard of customer service. Planning designed to suite your lifestyle, budget and space requirements

WE DON’T JUST TIP

www.a1clearance.co.uk

REGISTERED WASTE CARRIER REG NP. YDA 150215

www.spacemaster-ne.com

R E P A I R S

KITCHEN APPLIANCES MOBILITY SCOOTERS QUALITY FURNITURE

WE RECYCLE

T: 01642 486024 | M: 07850 861297

R O * O F

WE PAY CASH TODAY

FAMILY RUN BUSINESS SINCE 1990

01642 488888 • 07773 488888

ROOFING Y T I L A U Q

R * O O F

Ridge Tiles • Chimney Stacks Gable Ends • Slating • Tiling • Gutters Fascias • Soffits • Garage Roofs • Bay Tops ‘LOCAL FAMILY RUN BUSINESS’ Over 35 Years Experience FREE ESTIMATES PROMPT ATTENTION

RING JOHN

01642 603160 / 07710 318954 “Trust Assured”

www.roofersinteesside.com

R E P A I R S

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

SC Henderson & Son Ltd Plumbing, Central Heating Servicing, Joinery, Tiling, Kitchens and Building Maintenance

Specialists in Bathrooms, Kitchens, Cloakrooms Disabled Walk-In Showers and Wet Rooms

Boiler & Heating Installation, Renewals & Repairs

Landlord safety checks Up to 12 years manufacturer’s warranty included

• • • • • • • • •

Full Building Maintenance Plumbing Heating Installation & Repairs Servicing & Landlord Gas Safety Reports / Certification Tiling Joinery Electrical Works Gas Works

21a Howe Street, Middlesbrough TS1 4LD

Tel: 01642 210781 Mob: 07850 824466 Web: schendersonandson-middlesbrough.co.uk Email: schenderson_son@hotmail.com

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DAMP CONDENSATION AND TIMBER SPECIALIST • Rising Damp • Penetrating Damp • Condensation • Wet/Dry Rot ALL WORK FULLY GUARANTEED

Call now to book your FREE no-obligation survey and quote

01642 475798 www.dampcured.co.uk

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years THE EYE MAGAZINE

Plumbing, Heating Electrics Kitchens

Granite Worktops - Bathrooms supplied & fitted

e-mail:windowwizard.ne@btinternet.com www.windowwizard-ne.co.uk

Tel: 01642 450397 Mob: 07796 200130

.E N d r Wiza

Unit 13, Metcalfe Road Skippers Lane Industrial Estate Middlesbrough TS6 6PT

s staller ers & In PLACED r u t c a nuf ITS RE ZED UN ies Ma rvator H DOUBLE GLA I-FOLD DOORS e s n o G HB C ors & ITS & GUTTERIN PVC REPAIRS EE QUOTES -OUT ws, Do FF H FR ALL H ALL U Windo H FASCIAS, SO H FREE C

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Certified Gas Engineers Electricians & Joiners Your Local Professionals Gary 07413

761298 John 07778 021325

available on our website at:

www.local-answer.co.uk

Welham Bedrooms Also Bathrooms, Kitchens and Studies

From contemporary to the classical, our Bedroom furniture can fit the style of any room Maximise your wardrobe space with our built in furniture, and because all our units are bespoke, we can build them to fit into the most awkward of spaces. We can create ideal storage solutions with internal shelving and hanging rails fitted to suit your requirements.

With matching accessories, bedside units, Headboards and Mirrors, we have everything you need to create your dream room.

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Call in to our showroom (by appointment only) or visit our website for further details

VISIT OUR SHOWROOM: Just off the A174 between Redcar & Marske, Longbeck Trading Estate, Marske TS11 6HB By appointment only: Monday-Thursday 8-5, Friday 8-2.30

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01642 491257

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POLARIS B L I N D S E V A S s £££'

Buy direct from the manufacturer

CONSERVATORY ROOF BLINDS All Blinds are manufactured in-house, including Perfect Fit International (no screws), ensuring the highest possible quality. All our blinds and workmanship are fully guaranteed for your peace of mind.

PREMIUM BLINDS

We can satisfy customer needs whatever your requirements. We have a superb choice of "high end" (but not overpriced) premium blinds and shutters. We pride ourselves on providing quality and value for money.

YOU’LL LOVE • FREE Home Visits OUR SHUTTERS • FREE Measuring You’ll love how • FREE No Obligation Quotes easy and affordable choosing from our • FREE Fitting • FREE Child Safety Features range is.

SHUTTERS • VERTICALS • VENETIAN • ROLLER • PLEATED

VISIT OUR SHOWROOM...

Polaris Blinds welcome you to visit our Liverton Mines factory to discuss and view our extensive selection of blinds and shutters, budget or premium.

Call us today for an appointment.

ALL AREAS COVERED - PLEASE CALL KEVIN WHEATLEY ON:

01287 641729 / 07715 138140 Unit 11, North Liverton Industrial Estate, Lantsbery Drive, Liverton Mines TS13 4QZ

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Celebratin g

41 Years of AEP

LPG Gas & Oil

AEP - YOUR ELECTRICAL EXPERTS Our Experienced and NICEIC Accredited Electricians will ensure you are fully compliant with current standards & regulations VISIT OUR RETAIL SHOP at Kirkleatham Business Park for all your Electrical, Lighting, Plumbing & Drainage needs

Call us today to book a FREE technical survey

01642 485040

aep@aep-ne.com | www.aep-ne.com 8b Arlon Court, Kirkleatham Business Park, Redcar TS10 5RS PAGE 8 | Please mention ‘The Local Answer Ingleby Barwick’ when calling advertisers

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

LOCKSMITHING SERVICES 24/7 Your Local - Reliable Independent Locksmith

• Locks Opened, Fitted & Repaired • UPVC Double Glazing Door Specialist • New Multi Point Lock Mechanisms Supplied & Fitted • Insurance Approved BS3621 Lock Upgrades Available • 24hr Call Out - No Call Out Fees

• Fast Response Call Out Times Usually Within 30-45 Minutes • No Hidden Costs • No VAT • Fully 100% Transparent Service • Fully Qualified • Discounted Rates for OAPs

SLINGSBY INTERIORS Bathroom Studio & Heating Specialists

AFFORDABLE HEATING

• BOILER FINANCE PACKAGES available on our products and services • 12 YEAR WARRANTY on selected Worcester Bosch Boilers OVER 60? Annual Gas Boiler Service for £55 inc vat.

(Back Boilers £70 inc vat) &

Are Your Locks behaving poorly?

For more information & advice, contact us:

PEIRSON STREET, REDCAR TS10 1SW

www.teesvalleylocksmiths.co.uk

* For affordable heating, visit: www.slingsbyinteriors.co.uk

01642 386007 or 07396 051774

Showroom (by appointment only): Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 10am-1pm AMPLE FREE PARKING

Tel: 01642 488818

Cleveland Up & Over Door Co. Ltd

EST. 1973

Family Run Business with over 35 years experience.

SAME DAY REPAIR SERVICE WHEN AVAILABLE

FULL RANGE OF SPARE PARTS FOR MOST MAKES OF GARAGE DOORS

Customer Satisfaction Is Our Recommendation Electrically Operated Roller Doors & Up & Over Doors

RESIDENTIAL ROLLER DOORS AND WINDOW SHUTTERS

Manufacturers of

HUGE savings on all garage doors Before you buy give us a try!

We won’t be beaten on price! Huge Stocks With Many Styles To Choose From!

For a FREE SURVEY and no-obligation quote call us on

AA ASSOCIATES

M’bro 01642 440920 Redcar 01642 487699 Freephone 0808 108 5218 website: www.clevelandupover.co.uk

Visit our showroom at 7 Metcalfe Road, Skippers Lane Ind. Est. Middlesbrough.

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10% OFF

for SENIOR CITIZENS

S&S

Windows and Doors A Family Run Local Business

PROFESSIONAL SERVICE AT LOW PRICES

• Composite doors • A rated windows • •

and doors Full double glazing repair service Misted glass units replaced

• Locks, handles, • • •

hinges Conservatory roofs repaired Facias, soffits and guttering Roofing repairs

IS YOUR CONSERVATORY LEAKING? CALL US FOR A QUOTE TO REPAIR ALWAYS USE A LOCAL COMPANY CONTACT US TO GET A NON OBLIGATION QUOTE

Tel: 0800 0935389 / 01642 880413 www.sandswindowsanddoors.co.uk

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Sudoku

Test Your Knowledge Once again we offer you the chance to check how much information you’ve picked up during your lifetime. Fourteen correct answers out of the seventeen available is great and means you know your stuff! Good luck!

1. Published in 1906, ‘White Fang’ is the story of a wolf dog. Who wrote it?

2. Who became the first female minister of state in British parliamentary history in 1965 and which controversial motoring legislation did she introduce?

3. In Crown Green Bowls, what is the name of the weighted offset which causes the bowl to curve?

4. Name the BBC sitcom starring Kathy Burke and James Freyfuss which ran between 1999 and 2001, taking its name from an ABBA song?

5. On average, which animal is faster, a kangaroo or a zebra?

6. Which 2001 Baz Luhrman film sees Ewan McGregor fall in love with a cabaret actress played

by Nicole Kidman?

7. In August 1962, Jamaica declared independence from which country?

8. A word, phrase, or sequence that reads the same backwards as forwards is known as a what?

9. Hibernia was the Roman name for which area of Great Britain?

10. Which female pop star had the best selling album of 2016 with ‘Lemonade’?

11. Chalk is the common name for what chemical compound?

12. Who is the presenter of the gameshow Tipping Point on ITV? 13. In which county would you find the city of Ely? 14. On which racecourses do the following classic horse races take place (1 point for each correct answer) - a. The Grand National b. The Oaks c. The 2000 Guineas.

15. On which type of TV show would you find as presenters Anita Manning, Charles Hanson and Charlie Ross?

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(answers on page 29)

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RESIN BOUND DRIVEWAYS WHAT IS RESIN BOUND?

Resin bound is a natural stone resin bound surface that can be laid over tarmac or concrete. It does not involve any long convoluted digging out of foundations and the majority of jobs undertaken are completed in just one day.

The finished surface is a beautiful resin set gravel which removes the annoyance of loose chippings and stones Imprint • Ultimate Strength & Durability • Puddle Free & Weed Resistant • Multiple Colour Choices • Fully Project Managed • Instant Kerb Appeal • Fully Guaranteed • Low Maintenance

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www.proli www.prol ine-ecod ne-ecodrives.co.uk rives.co.uk www.wsplastics.com

Family Run Business

W.S. Plastics Ltd

Bathroom/Kitchen design & installation

“Wishing everybody a Happy New Year from all of the staff at W.S. Plastics” • Full bathroom refurbishment service from start to finish, including any plumbing, plastering and building work • All work organised for you with a large selection of fittings to choose from EST. • Highly skilled team of dedicated fitters 16 • Friendly and helpful showroom staff YEARS

Showroom: 01642 271541

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for all your bathroom needs Sat 9.30am-3pm, Sun CLOSED

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2 West Terrace, Redcar (Between The Redcar Beacon & The Town Clock) Email: wsplastics.showroom@gmail.com

High Street (Pedestrian Zone)

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

In The Garden

I

n frosty weather little can be done in the garden. The ground is too hard to dig or plant and the lawn should not be walked on.

Although there is very little work to do, January ushers in the beginning of a new year that is full of promise in the garden.

Despite the low temperatures and short daylight hours, there some useful tasks that can be done.

If the weather is mild, you can still plant roses and bare rooted shrubs and trees. At this is time of year a heated greenhouse has great appeal, especially when the weather is too cold and wet to work outside.

The warmth of a heated cold-frame or greenhouse or even a sunny indoor window enables you to sow annuals that need a long growing season and

start of those early vegetable crops.

Roots of favourite herbs, can also be lifted and brought indoors, to provide fresh shoots and leaves for winter flavour.

Winter digging is necessary for beds and borders that need to be planted in early spring. The earlier this is done the better, allowing time for frosts to act and break down the soil. The longer any rough clods of soil are exposed to frost, the easier it will be to get a fine tilth in spring. While digging, it is a good idea to work in plenty of well-rotted manure or garden compost at the same time, thus improving the soil’s texture and richness.

If you have planted any trees or shrubs during the winter months, check that they haven’t been lifted by frost. Once lifted, they can rock in

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the wind and their roots will be slower to get established. Re-firm the plants by pressing down on the surrounding soil with your feet. You may also need to stake any tall or exposed plants to prevent further wind rock.

If the surface of water features or a pond has frozen solid, and particularly if it contains fish, break the ice with care.

If the ice is very thick, use a little boiling water rather than a hammer, to avoid shock waves which can kill the creatures beneath.

Maintain and Check Garden Tools and Equipment Make sure that mechanical equipment such as mowers, rotovators, edgers, strimmers and hedge trimmers are in good working order. If any need repairing or sharpening, take them in for servicing by a professional.

Winter Tasks Any jobs that do not require cementing or painting, such as building or knocking down old sheds, putting up a fence, laying out gravel paths or a terrace or making a rock garden, are best carried out now, while the soil is workable and all the plants are dormant.

Making a Rock Garden

Planning Next Season’s Garden The long winter evenings provide plenty of time to browse through seed catalogues and plan new projects in the garden. Late January to early February is an ideal time to visit garden centres to buy seeds, tubers and bulbs for the coming season. If you are ordering products from a seed catalogue, or over the internet, it should be done as early as possible or they may arrive too late for their proper sowing or planting dates.

This is a good time to make a new rock garden or improve an old one. It is too early to add any plants yet, but the preparation and construction work can be done now.

A good builders’ merchant, nursery or garden centre specializing in garden construction materials should have a range of rocks and will be able to advise you on costs, and how many you are likely to need.

TEESSIDE GARDENING & TREE SERVICES Call 01642

285 839

or Mick 07342 959 958 Kev 07549 628 278

web teessidegardeningservices.com

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Welha

Also Bedrooms, Ba Our Bespoke Kitchens are

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www.localgasman.co.uk Free Estimates No Call-Out Charge All Plumbing New Boilers New Central Heating Gas Safety Reports Power Flushing Gas Cookers Gas Fires Boilers/Fires Serviced & Repaired H Senior Citizens 10% Discount H H H H H H H H H H

LATEST CONDENSING BOILERS (with up to 12 YEAR GUARANTEE WITH MAGNETIC FILTER)

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am Kitchens

athrooms and Studies e created especially for you

nvestment of your bespoke Kitchen is to your home and that chens are created especially for you, whether it’s Traditional designs and colours to suit all tastes and budgets. We listen o the final design. Our friendly staff will help to take the stress elpful advice on colour schemes, styles and finishing touches.

BEDROOMS, KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

pointment only) or visit our website for further details

74 between Redcar & Marske, Longbeck Trading Estate, Marske TS11 6HB y: Monday-Thursday 8-5, Friday 8-2.30

hens.co.uk 01642 491257

Birkbecks Electrical your local Kitchen Appliance Store

we deliver we install we care WE ARE NOW OPEN AGAIN and adhering to all Government guidelines

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• BOSCH • ZANUSSI • HOOVER • CANDY • HOTPOINT • INDESIT • BLOMBERG • LEC • BELLING • AMICA • BEKO • PANASONIC • TOSHIBA • SEBA • STOVES • NEWWORLD • BAUMATIC • LG • LINSAR • ELECTROLUX • IBERNA

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Healthy Eating

TRY A MEAT-FREE MONDAY...

HERBY MUSHROOMS AND GREENS

I

n this New Year, how about trying a Meat-free Monday. You can change many of your usual recipes by exchanging the meat for meatsubstitute or veg.

For example, if making spaghetti bolognaise, use Quorn mince instead and just add a teaspoon or two of marmite to give it taste then add to your pasta sauce! If you want to get more adventurous you could try making lentil meatballs.

This easy recipe is packed full of healthy veg and cooked using olive oil:

Herby Mushrooms and Greens (serves 2) Ingredients: 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 1 onion finely chopped 4 garlic cloves, finely diced 10g sun-dried tomatoes in oil, roughly chopped Leaves from 4 sprigs thyme or ½ tsp dried salt & pepper 50-100g mushrooms thinly sliced 100g frozen peas 100g sugar snap peas (or chopped broccoli) 50g spinach (or cabbage) finely chopped 50ml veg stock or 1tsp veg stock powder/stock cube in 50g water.

Method: Heat the oil over a medium heat, add the onions, garlic, sun-dried tomatoes, thyme and salt & pepper – fry for a few minutes.

Add the mushrooms and fry till soft.

Add peas, sugar snap peas or broccoli and cabbage (if using spinach put this in later).

Add the stock, put lid on and cook till everything is done.

Serve with bread, or add rice or beans to it to make a filling meal. Can take leftovers to work for lunch with salad.

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Call: 01642 296513

DEADLINE January

for the next edition Bookings, Alterations or Cancellations

4pm

Whilst every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of claims made by advertisers in the Local Answer, the management can accept no responsibility for any problems which may arise

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are available to view online at:

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

BRUSH STROKES Specialists in: Gas - Oil - LPG - Warm Air - Under Floor

Up to

on Worcester Gas Boilers

Experienced, Reliable Trustworthy Heating Engineers Providing a Professional, Quality Service

Call now for a FREE no obligation quotation

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CLASS DECORATING at Affordable Prices

Interior, Exterior, Commercial & Domestic FREE Estimates OAP Discounts Available

Time Served Decorator with 40 YEARS Experience Call STEVE on:

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LOCAL NEWS and SPORT

LOCAL BUSINESS DIRECTORY

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Humour

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS - THE FIRST THING THAT GETS BROKEN ON JANUARY 1st They say making New Year’s resolutions is something most people do with the absolute intention of keeping them but always find it impossible. But for those who made one and kept it last year we would like to offer our hearty congratulations. For the rest of you (and that includes us) here are a few New Year observations you might like!

New Year’s Eve, when auld acquaintance be forgot (unless those paternity tests come back positive).

It’s everybody’s New Year wish to win the lottery. Well if I did I wouldn’t take the publicity, you get too many begging letters. And if they’re anything like the ones I send out I wouldn’t want to know.

Women get a little more excited about New Year’s Eve than men do because they have better intentions.

But they still drink too much, make a lot of promises they’re not going to keep and the next morning as soon as they wake up they start breaking them. Men just call that a date.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in.

A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

My brother’s New Year’s resolution is to move out of our parents’ house.

You’d think after 49 years he’d try another one.

Every New Year’s Day I celebrate making it through another holiday season without killing my relatives.

My New Year’s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to Auld Lang Syne.

A New Year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

This New Year’s Eve I’m going to make a resolution I can keep: I’m not going to diet this year.

My New Year’s resolution is to eat better, so from now on, I’m going to only date blokes who can afford to take me somewhere other than McDonalds.

If you make a New Year’s resolution to eat a healthy diet, and you keep it, you won’t actually live longer, but it will bloody well seem like it.

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.

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Usually my main goal at a New Year’s party is to remember who I came with.

“Out with the old, in with the new” is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.

May you find the strength to write, “Who is this?” to all the strange numbers that text you “Happy New Year!” tonight.

My New Year’s resolution is to try to remember why I’ve walked into a room.

My New Year resolution is not to shovel snow. Since I live in Florida I feel pretty good about it.

New Year parades have a lot in common with Santa Claus.

Nobody is ever awake to see either one of them.

This New Year I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until January 2nd.

I see no need to make more New Year’s resolutions when the ones already on the books aren’t being kept.

My New Year’s resolution is to take all the Christmas lights down by Easter.

And finally, a wish to you all - may all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. Have a great 2021!

Welham Bathrooms Also Kitchens, Bedrooms and Studies

Your Bathroom is a place to unwind, relax and have a bit of me time

Here at Welham’s we can create the perfect space to help you do just that. Is it traditional style or the super sleek glam look you are interested in? Whatever your taste, we can create that ideal room.

We manufacture all units in our factory in Marske, to your specifications. All bathroom suites and showers come from well established suppliers such as Kudos, Mira, Vitra, Bristan and many more. We also add those finishing touches such as Karndean flooring, tiling, multi panel, laminate ceiling and, not forgetting, lighting.

OFFERS AVAILABLE ON BATHROOMS, BEDROOMS & KITCHENS Redc

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Business

FIVE REASONS WHY PRINTED ADS ARE IMPORTANT FOR YOUR BUSINESS Print advertising is powerful. Yes, the internet is a marvellous tool, however, it isn’t the only tool. Digital media without doubt has its advantages, but print still has the upper hand in some ways and should be incorporated into your marketing strategy. Read on to learn 5 advantages of using printed ads.

Benefits of Printed Ads 1. It’s real!

There’s a lot to be said for a tangible, in-your-hand ad. It’s easier and more convenient to retain and refer to a compact, A5 booklet than it is to scroll through your mobile to find the same ad that you saw a few days ago. Plus, many people hold onto magazines and brochures for years, meaning that even just a one-time printed ad could be incredibly cost-effective for your business.

2. You can reach your target customers Think about it - how many digital ads do you see every day? We’re bombarded!

The beauty of print is that it’s much less invasive and you’re able to target a very specific audience and deliver the ad right into their hands (literally!).

Beyond this, you also have the option to tailor your campaign to fit your budget (how much page space you need), and rather than relying on an algorithm to decide where your ad should sit, you get to speak with a real person when buying your ad space.

3. Print ad readers have longer attention spans and more intent Mobile devices can shrink peoples’ attention spans and we almost become immune to the selling efforts we’re exposed to on a daily basis. People who look at more traditional formats (magazines, newspapers, other publications) often spend more time looking and could be more likely to focus and really take note of the ad.

When we’re online, we might have 7 different tabs open and probably have messages and emails pinging through.

Referring directly to a printed ad minimises the chance of the consumer becoming distracted.

4. Authenticity Pretty much anybody can make a digital ad. Print, however, requires a marketing budget and feels somewhat more official and trustworthy. This is especially true when it’s targeted at

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local level. Quality print publications, such as the Local Answer, can easily leverage your credibility and generate you more leads and sales.

5. Stand out!

In a time where everyone is going digital, going ‘old school’ with a printed ad could give you the edge that you’re looking for. It’s a medium that some businesses forget, so make sure you play the trump card and have this aspect of marketing covered!

Conclusion So, as you can see, local print advertising is extremely effective and should be added to your marketing mix.

Combining these benefits with a solid digital strategy can produce substantial results.

When reading printed content, consumers are more willing to process

information. Use this opportunity to put your brand out there! It could be key to attracting more customers and increasing sales.

Are you ready to boost your business with a printed ad? Call Yvette on 01642 296523 for a great deal and discover what the Local Answer can do for you!

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are available to view online at:

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Coffee Break Humour

AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A LITTLE SMILE...

I

t’s a well known fact that January is the most depressing month of the year. It may be that the weather is at its worst or that Christmas is over for another year but whatever the reason people tend to be at their worst this month. So here’s the opportunity to have a little smile while you enjoy your coffee. And can we take this opportunity to wish you all a very happy and prosperous New Year.

A primary school teacher had a map of the world on the classroom wall and said ‘I’m going to ask you some geography questions.’ She asked little Mary to come up to the map and said ‘Mary, can you point to America on the map. Mary stood on her tiptoes and put her finger right on North America.

‘Wonderful,’ said the teacher. ‘Now Johnny, can you tell me who discovered America?’‘Yes Miss,’ said Johnny, ‘it was Mary.’

It was karaoke time at the pub and Paddy got up to sing ‘when Irish Eyes are Smiling.’ When he’d finished the song he noticed a lady in the front row crying into her handkerchief. He walked over to her and said ‘Ah, for sure, you must be an Irish lady.’‘No,’ she said, ‘I’m a music teacher.

There was a sudden electricity failure in a Dublin store and hundreds of people were stranded on the escalators for

hours.

The old gentleman was backing his Rolls Royce into the last available parking space when a zippy red sports car whipped in behind him to take the spot. The young man who was driving jumped out of the car and said ‘Sorry Pops, but you’ve got to be young and smart to do that.’

The old man ignored the remark and continued to reverse into the sports car leaving it a crumpled wreck.

‘Sorry, son’ said the old man, ‘but you have to be old and rich to do that!

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her a lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick by mistake. She still isn’t talking to me.

Two small boys were playing with a football outside their home when their mother came to the gate and said ‘where did you get that football from?’‘We found it,’ said one of the boys. ‘Are you sure it was lost?’ asked the mother. ‘Yes,’ said the second boy.

We saw some people looking for it.’

A man sidles over to a woman in a bar and used the oldest pick-up line in the world .... ‘your place or mine?’ The woman stared contemptuously back at him and said ‘Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.’

A chap was telling his friends about his mother in law. ‘She’s a remarkable

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woman,’ he said. ‘She’s eighty five year old and doesn’t use glasses.’‘So she must have really great eyesight?’ replied one of his friends. ‘Nah,’ he said. ‘She drinks straight from the bottle!’

An old man came back from his retirement party and complained bitterly that all his working life he’d had to live by the clock. ‘We get up by the clock, go to school by the clock and finish school by the clock. When we begin work we start by the clock, come home by the clock and go to bed by the clock,’ he said. That goes on for sixty five years until you retire. So what do they give you when you finish? A bloody clock!

My mother used to read the obituaries every morning in the local paper. She always thought it was amazing that people seemed to die in alphabetical order.

The difference between men and women is that women never admit their age and men very rarely act theirs.

But Nancy Astor - on her 80th birthday - had it right when she said ‘I used to dread getting older because I thought I wouldn’t be able to do all the things I wanted to do. Now I am older I find I don’t want to do them anyway!’

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”

Vincent: “One dollar.”

Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”

Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”

Est 1985

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Visit: local-answer.co.uk for LOCAL NEWS & SPORT | Local Answer - Tel: 01642 296513 - January 2021 | PAGE 27

Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Football - The ‘Boro

IT JUST HAS TO BE A HAPPIER NEW YEAR!

B

y the time you read this, Christmas will have come and gone, the vaccine war against Covid19 will hopefully be well underway and ‘Boro will have taken full advantage of a series of slightly less worrying fixtures than the ones we were faced with in the early part of the season. So let me first wish you all as you now look forward to 2021 - a much better all-round twelve months than the last one has been!

The trouble with the very early deadline for this piece, however, is that it needs considerable ability as a clairvoyant to get even a small proportion of what I’m about to say correct. I’ll therefore try to make allowances for myself by putting you in the picture!

As I write, we have just lost our fourth game of the season in the very untidy affair at Stoke City and are about to visit Preston in another Wednesday night fixture. Between that game and the release of this edition we have what appear to be winnable home games against Millwall, Luton and Rotherham and equally optimistic visits to Birmingham and Sheffield Wednesday.

I’m personally hopeful because between them those five clubs have managed just

20 wins out of their 90 games so far, so shouldn’t really represent too much of a threat. But hey, this is Middlesbrough we’re talking about so you simply never know. It has to be said, though, that Neil Warnock has at least created a degree of consistency that was only made slightly less apparent following the inevitable downturn that the ‘Manager of the Month’ award usually brings.

Perhaps the best statement that can be truthfully made about the season to date, however, is that at no point have ‘Boro been outplayed or come away from a game thinking we deserved to lose. Even our biggest defeat of the season as I write – the 3-1 reverse at Huddersfield – was a game in which we could – and probably should – have been a couple of goals up before they even got into the game.

The other three defeats (Watford, Stoke and Norwich) were all games we should also have taken something from so at the time of writing there is still much to be enjoyed from performances to date. The goal scoring record is probably the most disappointing aspect of the season, of course, because the odd goal taken here and there when we had created a number of chances would have given us the

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DEADLINE

for the next edition Bookings, Alterations or Cancellations

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18

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are available to view online at:

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Solution

January

Their combined improvement should give all ‘Boro fans a much more positive outlook on the months to come and a strong belief in a manager who’s already been there and already done it on a number of occasions.

Now January has arrived, of course, there’s always the potential to add to that list, but Warnock is very aware of the financial situation Covid has generated and is obviously reluctant to spend Steve Gibson’s money unless it will really improve the team.

Whether he needs to or not will have been determined over the games that have been played since this was written, but I sincerely hope that the team has already shown the capability of mounting a strong challenge for yet another return to the ‘promised land.’ We can only hope!

Have a healthy, happy and much improved 2021.

Sudoku

additional extra points to put us up there in a challenging position. Having said that, the games already mentioned will have been played by the time you read this, so we could hopefully be up there anyway.

Fingers crossed!

To say that 2020 has been a bit of an up and down year is putting things very mildly but when you look at the improvements Neil Warnock has most certainly made we should be happy that we are in a much better position than we were at the start of January 2020.

That such a situation has been achieved with very little financial outlay and a considerable reduction in the weekly wage bill owes much to Warnock’s ability to make the most out of what he is given.

That ability is best illustrated by the enormous potential we now see in players like Paddy McNair, Mark Bola, Anfernee Dijksteel, Marvin Johnson, George Saville and – more recently - Duncan Watmore.

Test Your Knowledge Answers 1. Jack London 2. Barbara Castle, who introduced the breathalyser 3. Bias 4. Gimme Gimme Gimme 5. Kangaroo 6. Moulin Rouge!

7. United Kingdom

8. Palindrome 9. Ireland 10. Beyonce 11. Calcium Carbonate 12. Ben Shephard 13. Cambridgeshire 14. a. Aintree b. Epsom c. Newmarket 15. Antique shows

Visit: local-answer.co.uk for LOCAL NEWS & SPORT | Local Answer - Tel: 01642 296513 - January 2021 | PAGE 29

INDEX OF ADVERTISERS Appliance Repairs Birkbecks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Bathrooms PJS Plumbing . . . . . . . . . . .

Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . . . .

SC Henderson . . . . . . . . . .

Slingsby Interiors . . . . . . . . .

Space Master . . . . . . . . . . .

Welham Bathrooms . . . . . .

WS Plastics . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Bedrooms Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Welham Bedrooms . . . . . .

Blinds Polaris Blinds . . . . . . . . . . . .

Building Services AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . .

Amco Construction . . . . . . .

Cleaning Micro Clean. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Conservatories AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . .

S&S Windows . . . . . . . . . . .

Damp Proofing AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . .

Amco Construction . . . . . . .

Decorating Services Brush Strokes . . . . . . . . . . .

Disability Aids Aiding You . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Door Repairs S&S Windows . . . . . . . . . . .

Double Glazing Marton Windows . . . . . . . . .

S&S Windows . . . . . . . . . . .

Window Wizard . . . . . . . . . .

Driveways ProLine Eco Drives . . . . . . .

Electrical Appliances Birkbecks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Electrical Services AEP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Amco Construction . . . . . . .

Whilst every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of claims made by advertisers in the Local Answer, the management can accept no responsibility for any problems which may arise.

Fascias & Soffits AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . Front Pg Callaghan’s Rooflines . . . . . Back Pg Page 6 Garage Doors Page 21 Cleveland Up & Over . . . . . Page 10 Page 4 Garolla . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Page 10 Gardening Services Page 3 Teesside Gardening . . . . . . Page 15 Page 23 Heating Page 13 AEP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 8 AJ Plumbing . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Page 21 Aquaflow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 16 Page 6 Dinsdale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Back Pg PJS Plumbing . . . . . . . . . . . Page 6 Page 7 SC Henderson . . . . . . . . . . Page 4 Slingsby Interiors . . . . . . . . . Page 10 Front Pg Wilsons Plumbing . . . . . . . . Page 20 Page 5 Home Improvements Amco Construction . . . . . . . Page 5 Page 27 House Clearances A1 House Clearance . . . . . Page 3 Front Pg Kitchens Page 11 Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 21 Space Master . . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Front Pg Welham Kitchens . . . . . . . . Page 16 Page 5 WS Plastics . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13 Locksmiths Page 20 Tees Valley Locks . . . . . . . . Page 10 Loft Ladders & Loft Space Page 19 Yorkshire Loft Ladders . . . . Page 9 Mobility Aids Page 11 Aiding You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 19 Painting & Decorating Page 2 Brush Strokes . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20 Page 11 Patios / Paving Page 6 ProLine Eco Drives . . . . . . . Page 13 Plumbers Page 13 AEP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 8 AJ Plumbing . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Page 17 Amco Construction . . . . . . . Page 5 Aquaflow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 16 Page 8 Dinsdale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Back Pg Page 5 PJS Plumbing . . . . . . . . . . . Page 6 Page 17

Plumbers (cont'd) SC Henderson . . . . . . . . . . Page 4 Wilsons Plumbing . . . . . . . . Page 20 Property Renovation Amco Construction . . . . . . . Page 5 Roller Shutters Garolla . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Roofing Services AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . Front Pg Amco Construction . . . . . . . Page 5 Callaghan’s Rooflines . . . . . Back Pg Quality Roofing . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 S&S Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 11 Showrooms Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 21 Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 16 Shutters Polaris Blinds . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Stairlifts Aiding You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 19 Tiling SC Henderson . . . . . . . . . . Page 4 Washing Machines Birkbecks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 17 Washing Machine Repairs Birkbecks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 17 Waste Management A1 House Clearance . . . . . Page 3 Wardrobes Space Master . . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Window Blinds Polaris Blinds . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7 Windows & Doors Marton Windows . . . . . . . . . Page 2 S&S Windows . . . . . . . . . . . Page 11 Window Wizard . . . . . . . . . . Page 6 Deadline for the next edition is

Monday, 18th January, 2021, 4pm

to advertise call 01642 296513

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Check out these websites to help you find a local business to suit your needs... www.lakes-service-centre.co.uk (Car Servicing, MOT’s & Repairs) www.roofixltd.co.uk (Industrial & Domestic Roofing Contractors) www.teessidephysio.co.uk (Clinical Pilates & Specialist Massage) www.slingsbyinteriors.co.uk (Bathroom & Heating Specialists) www.caketoppersredcar.co.uk (Celebration & Wedding Cakes) www.yorkshireshedcompany.co.uk (Sheds, Summer Houses, Fencing)

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