Page 1

ocal L Issue 9 June 2011


Tel 01642 483304

Distributed Monthly to over 12,500 Homes

Billingham, Norton, Wolviston & Wynyard Edition

Save over 50% on all Servicing & Repairs.


For All German Prestige Car Servicing Estblished 1989 with over 50 years combined experience • Mercedes-Benz certified staff • Mercedes-Benz approved diagnostic equipment • Genuine parts and recommended lubricants • MOT testing • Service book stamped • Car and light commercial servicing • Bodywork and accident repair • Your warranty is maintained with our service • Coffee lounge and free pick-up/drop-off • Courtesey Cars Available

The North East’s Finest Independent Specialist for Mercedes Benz, BMW, VW, Audi, Porsche, Smart, Chrysler, Jeep & Dodge

(01642) 217677 • mercspec@btinternet .com • www .merc-spec .co .uk 14-15 Newcomen Road, Skippers Lane Ind Est Middlesbrough, TS6 6PS







QUALITY LANDSCAPING By... ... firstclass landscapes

Beautiful Gardens Created With Passion & Pride. All Aspects Of Garden & Landscaping.


01642 761882 or 07967 685947 (2 The Rings, Ingleby Barwick)

Page 2 The Local Answer



PLUMBING & Heating

H o u rg

2m4ergency Plumbin


June 2011

All Plumbing & Gas Work Undertaken

Baxi, Worcester & Ideal Trained Boiler Repair Specialist Full Central Heating Installations Baxi Combi Boiler Supplied & Fitted From £1295 Boiler Servicing & Reapirs From £45

T: 01642 283060 M: 07929 387580


Window Wizard N.E UPVC windows, doors & conservatories All UPVC windows and doors repaired Fascias, Soffits and gutters D/G units replaced


DM FLOORING All Aspects Of Flooring Work Specialist in Karndean & Camaro Designer Flooring Carpet & Vinyls Fitted Very Competitive Prices No Job Too Small

Tel/Fax: 01642 217255

07904 715305 01642 951215


Mob: 07796 200130




GELL Property Developments provide a friendly reliable service ensuring work undertaken is developed on time and to a high standard of standard of workmanship. workmanship . Services include: GELL Property Developments provide a friendly reliable service ensuring work undertaken is developed on time and to a high

Services include:

• • •• •• •• • • • • • •

Domestic Electrics (Part P 17th Edition) Decking | Fencing Turf laid | Landscape Gardening Turf laid | Landscape Gardening PatiosPatios | Drive Extensions Work | Drive| Brick Extensions | Brick Work Painting & Decor (Internal & External) Painting & Decor (Internal & External) Tiling | Maintenance Tiling | Maintenance Wood Flooring Wood Flooring General DIY General DIY

Domestic Electrics

Decking | Fencing

Contact us now for a competitive quotation.

Contact us now for a competitive quotation .



Property Developments

Contact us: Telephone: 01642 761838 Mobile: 07506 949320 Email: Website:

Quality Workmanship GUARANTEED Email:gellpropertydevelopment@hotmail .co .uk Website: www .gellpropertydevelopments .co .uk

For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011

Page 3

Creation72 - Cleveland Pro Wash A5 Leaflet (reverse)

All Surfaces Refurbished

- Cleveland Pro Wash A5 Leaflet (reverse)


Installations, Servicing & Repairs Worcester Bosch Accredited Installer

• Lighting - Water Features • Walls - Pillars • Patios - Paths • Fencing - Gates • Turfing - Seeding

Residential or Commercial

Steve Saunders 01642 562098 OR 07778 329784 Creation72 - Cleveland Pro Wash A5 Leaflet (reverse) Tel: 01642 862742 Mob: 07803 892821 5 Lincoln Crescent, Billingham, TS23 4BN Approved Brett Installer and Trading Standards

Creation72 - Cleveland Pro Wash A5 Leaflet (reverse)

Creation72 - Cleveland Pro Wash A5 Leaflet (reverse)

All Surfaces Refurbished All Surfaces

All Surfaces

Residential or Commercial Refurbished


G AS Residential or Commercial A PPLIANCE S E RVICE All Surfaces • 3D Garden Design

All Surfaces Refurbished Refurbished

Residential or Commercial Residential or Commercial

Residential or Commercial

Restoring Your Flooring... ...To It’s Former Glory

t 01642 t:01642 509272 m509272 07946 647635

m:07946 647635

For a FREE no obligation site survey and quotation For a FREE no obligation site survey t 01642 509272 m 07946 647635 For a FREE no obligation site survey and quotation ????????????????????????????????????

& quotation ???????????????????????????????????? 6 Middlefield Road, Marske

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 4 The Local Answer

June 2011


Young People Can Get On Trax Young people across the Tees Valley have the opportunity to have their lives transformed with a new unique, bespoke and soon to be accredited coaching programme.

SureTrax, based in Yarm Lane, Stockton, delivers training based on well established sales and business processes to ensure participants take responsibility for their future and develop the ability to access the ‘hidden market’ linked to market needs. The programme takes young people through six steps. These steps help them to take control, realise and fulfil their potential through being organised, researching and creating a network, securing an interview, keeping the opportunity and ensuring they gain the skills and knowledge to continue developing their life and career.

sponsored apprenticeships and self employment. SureTrax founder, Tony Osborne, said: “In the current economic climate, competition has never been so great, especially for young people. Academic research shows around 80 per cent of opportunities are never advertised. Our uniquely structured ‘activity and action’ based programme provides young people with the tools and confidence to access this ‘hidden market’. “The SureTrax team has a wealth of experience in leading high performing business and sales teams in multi-national organisations with extensive knowledge and experience of new business start-ups, recruitment and the Welfare to Work sector.

“We have successfully coached people back into long term sustainable employment and Since December 2010 SureTrax has enabled are currently running the programme with a number of young people to effectively local organisations, schools and colleges compete for full or part time employment, across the Tees Valley.” college, university and training places, Advertisers Announcement

01642 909470 • Concerned and confused about your future? • Are you wondering what to do next? • Don’t be just another statistic! • Our programme will progress you to the next level!

Take Action. Take Control. It’s Your Future. | |

For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011

ChrisDonkin ArchitecturalDesign 30

30 years experience

Architectural plans for house hold extensions & alterations Including submitting for & negotiating local authority approvals For a FREE estimate

Tel: 01740 644197 Mob: 07788 555348 Email:

Page 5


TEL: 01642 881422 MOB: 07814 038962

FOR ALL YOUR DOUBLE GLAZING REPAIRS Locks Door Handles Hinges Letterbox’s Replacement Gaskets

Misted or Cracked Double Glazed Units



Visit our web site to view our portfolio


Contact Andy on:

• Paths • Driveways • Patios • Decking • Fencing & Screens • Gravel Gardens • Turfing & Planting • Walling • Garden Lighting • Water Features • Drives Sealed


07970 946912 / 01642 535543

01642 769773

www .creativepatios .co .uk

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 6 The Local Answer

June 2011


Hang On To What You’ve Got Introducing a new Advice section by Rosemary Young of TRUSTLAW Solicitors.

along but when joints begin to ache, a niggling worry starts about how we can protect what we’ve got in later life.

Anyone born in the ‘Baby Boomer’ years, like me, will be familiar with the generation ‘trap’ –caught between children struggling to save or in between jobs/relationships, treating home as a low cost hotel, and elderly parents desperate to stay in their own homes needing more care and attention than you have time to give.

There is no easy ‘one size fits all’ solution. Each family is different so specialist advice is recommended to find the right answer for yours. Often this requires a mix of legal and financial advice to ensure all the angles are covered.

The comfort and security of owning your home is a major facet of family life and something most of us wish to pass on to the next generation.

TRUSTLAW brings this expertise together in one place to help you plan for later life and ensure those who mean the most to you are provided for. NEXT MONTH: Family Trusts – their use and benefit for protecting assets and beneficiaries.

More often than not, the house will be our main asset and by retirement many will have paid off the mortgage. Our parents did and now worry that their care needs may take away all their hard-earned money. At 55+ we’re still rock n rollin

For advice on any problem you would like to see covered in future issues Call Rosemary Young on 01642 888088 or Write to: Trustlaw Solicitors, Newport House, Teesdale South, Stockton on Tees TS17 6SE

Cleveland Fire Brigade To Represent The UK Football Championship

Cleveland Fire Brigade’s football team will be representing the UK Fire Service in this year’s European Fire Service Indoor Football Championships. The squad qualified after winning the UK competition last year and will be competing in Ostrava, Czech Republic where Middlesbrough played their first European tie in 2004. Cleveland Fire Brigade has won the UK competition more times than any other fire service and this is the third time they will represent the UK, winning in Holland in 1986.

Steve McCarten, Billingham Station Manager who is also the Team Manager said: “There will be three days of Football between 10 European nations which include: UK, Romania, Greece, Germany, Hungary, France, Czech Republic, Poland, Luxembourg and Slovakia. “We are very proud to be representing the UK Fire Services this year and hope we come back with the winning trophy.”

For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011

dust & shine domestic house cleaning

Advert Suggestion 2Page 7

Fitted Wardrobes at Affordable Prices ! Floor-to-ceiling wardrobe storage space in any size or shape of room. FRE E

Spa c

domestic house cleaning weekly, monthly or one-off contracts fully insured free estimates for an immaculate clean call

DENISE on 07830 717099 26 bedlington walk, billingham. ts23 3xw


•Extensions •Garden Rooms •Garden Walls •Stonework •Roofing •Garage Conversions •Flat Roof Conversions


Sa wa rdro ver be inte rior

For a free brochure please ring

01642 680782

Or visit our website at

1 £1000 minimum part exchange Get £1000 for your old scooter when part exchanging it for a new one

2 part exchange anything Part exchange anything from a spoon to a car

Insurance Work Welcome All Work Guaranteed C.I.T.B Approved & C.R.B. Clear

01642 604427 07775 960636

2 Grenadier Close, Stockton, ts18 4q j P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 8 The Local Answer

June 2011


Beware Of This New Scam A friend of ours who is a Police Community Support Officer recently warned us against a scam that is currently doing the rounds and suggested we inform our readers of the potential problems it could cause. This is the way it works, so be prepared . A householder received a call from a 'representative of BT,’ informing him that he was about to be dis-connected because of an unpaid bill. He demanded an immediate payment of £31.00 or the charge would rise to £ 118.00 to reconnect at a later date. The caller wasn't even fazed when the householder told him he was with Virgin Media, because allegedly Virgin Media have to pay BT a percentage for line rental! When asked his name the caller told him it was the very 'English' sounding John Peacock, even though he had a very 'African' accent. He gave his phone number as 0800 0800 152. Realizing that the householder didn't believe his story, the caller offered to demonstrate that he was from BT. The householder asked how & he was told to firstly hang up and then try phoning someone else. He said he would immediately disconnect the phone to prevent the householder doing that just to prove he was actually from BT. Sure enough when the householder tried to call another number the phone was dead - no engaged tone, nothing. The caller then rang him back and the phone was again live. Very pleased with himself, the caller asked if that was enough proof that he was with BT and the householder asked how the payment was to be made. ‘By credit card, here & now’ was the reply. Fortunately the householder said that although he didn't know how the caller had done what he’d just done he still had no intention of paying him, because he still didn't believe his name or that he worked for BT.

The man then hung up. The householder dialed 1471 and found the number had been withheld. He then phoned the 0800 number the man had given him and found it to be unrecognizable so he called the police to let them know what had happened and found that he was just one of many who had reported this type of call. The police advised him to let as many people as possible know of this scam. The fact that the phone does appear to have been disconnected would probably convince some people that the caller was telling the truth, so how is it done? Well, the technique is quite good but not all that clever. To start with he gave the wrong number. It should have been 0800 800 152 which takes you through to BT Business. The cutting off of the line is very simple; he stays on the line with the mute button on and you can't dial out - but he can hear you trying. (This is because the person who initiates a call has to be the one to terminate it). When you stop trying he cuts off and immediately calls back. You could almost be convinced! The sad thing is that it is so simple that it will certainly fool the elderly and vulnerable and the intention is not to get the £31.00 originally asked for as this would not get past merchant services. It is really all about getting the credit card details which include the security number so that it can be used for far larger purchases. The lesson to be learnt is that you should never pay money to an unsolicited caller over the phone no matter how convincing they may seem. Always tell them to put things in writing and give a genuine address and number that can be checked and traced. It’s your money. Look after it!

For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011



Page 9

Beautiful Bathroom & Kitchen panels

Ray Dales Solo Saxophone

Music From: Burt Bacharach, Cole Porter, Henry Manchini, George Gershwin, Richard Rodgers, Carlos Jobim


01642 645415 07715 257099 309 Wolviston Back Lane, Billingham. TS23 3RY enhance your home

PVC DECORATIVE CLADDING upto 1m wide ideal for showers and wetrooms


Choice Of Colours Starting From £4.75 Limited available


Year tee ran Gua


Improve the appearance and reliability of your roof with S.G. roof coating. Available in a variety of colours.  Reduces structural stress  Eliminates condensation  Impervious to weathering  Impervious to pollution  Increases lifespan of roof tiles

All UPVC Work Undertaken All Work Guaranteed

Call now for a FREE quotation Office: 0800 3032250 Direct line: 07768 936830


Visit our showroom or call for expert advice

01642 455 945

6 Wallis Road, Skippers Lane Middlesbrough TS6 6JB Open: Mon-Fri 8am-5pm • Sat 8am - 12:30pm

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 10 The Local Answer

June 2011


Another Chapter Of "They Walk Among Us And Reproduce”

We published a piece in last month’s edition demonstrating the stupidity of some of the general public and we have since been sent some more excellent examples – this time from call centres where they record some of the calls ‘for training purposes.’ We think they record them so they can play them back and have a good laugh. These are some of those genuine calls. Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through to the shop, can you help?' Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?' Customer: 'It's on the door of their business.' Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that the shop is open.' RAC Motoring Services Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?' Operator: 'Does the policy name give you a clue?' Caller: (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe ) 'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' Directory Enquiries Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please' Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?' Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.' Then there was the caller who asked for a

knitwear company in Woven. Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?' Caller: 'Yes.. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ...' On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.' IT Support Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.' Customer: 'OK.' Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?' Customer: 'No.' Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?' Customer: 'No.' Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up to this point?' Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.' Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?' Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

OFFROADNORTHEAST All electrical work undertaken Full and Part Rewires Lighting, Extractor fans, Sockets Security Alarms PAT Testing Inspection Testing Certification NICEIC (Part P) Registered

Call for free quotation T: 01642350166 M: 07858848485

If you live anywhere in the North East UK and own a Landrover, Range Rover, Discovery, Suzuki, Daihatsu, Toyota, Jeep, Vauxhall or other 4x4 and you are interested in off road driving then you have come to the right place . Meet other 4x4 offroad lovers locally and find out information on local events, shows and services . Joining our 4x4 offroad community and forum is FREE!

visit: www .offroadnortheast .co .uk

For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011

  

Page 11

We are one of the North East’s leading stockists in Multi Point Locking Systms


   

 


Health & Safety

STOCKISTS OF: • Winkhaus • Maco • LockMaster • GU • Mila • Era • FHUR Millenco • WMS • Yale  Trade Counter (open 6 Days a week)  Online Ordering, 24 Hours a day  Telephone Ordering 8am-5pm 5 Days a week  Next Day Delivery Serivce  Technical Support  Thousands of items in stock


Assessments & Training For all your business health & safety needs. • BSI Lead Auditor BS 18001 • BSI Lead Auditor BS 14001 • Risk Assessments • CoSHH Assessments • Site Safety Inspections • Accident/Incident Investigations • Abrasive Wheels Awareness Training • Working at Height Awareness Training • Health, Safety and Environmental Audits • Confined Space Entry Awareness Training • Preparation and Presentation of Company Inductions Onshore & Offshore

Norton Safety Services Ltd Tel: 07967 845349 nortonsafetyservices@ntlworld .com

... many more options in stock DISTRIBUTION

Visit our showroom or call for expert advice

01642 455 945

6 Wallis Road, Skippers Lane Middlesbrough TS6 6JB Open: Mon-Fri 8am-5pm • Sat 8am - 12:30pm

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 12 The Local Answer

June 2011

The Green Thing...

A wonderful little conversation was overheard at the Asda checkout the other morning that really made me think about this apparently modern approach to protecting the environment. Politicians and manufacturers make a big thing about how much they care for the world and what they are doing to save it for future generations but just consider the words of this nice old lady. It certainly makes you think! The conversation began when the cashier told the old lady that plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized for not re-using previous bags and explained, "We didn't have the "green thing" back in my day." Let’s examine that statement a little more fully. In ‘her day’ they returned their milk bottles, pop bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the factory to be washed and sterilized and refilled, using the same bottles over and over. If that’s not re-cycling, what is? But they didn't have ‘the green thing’ back in her day. In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go a few hundred yards. But she's right. They didn't have the green thing in her day. Back then, they washed the baby's nappies because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They were dried on a clothes-line and blown by the wind and ended up soft and fluffy and comfortable for the baby’s bottom. They didn’t have energy gobbling machines to dry them burning up 220 volts in the process. Wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids also got hand-me-down


clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new, expensive designer clothing. But that old lady is right. They didn't have the green thing back in her day. Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house - not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a tea plate, not a screen the size of North Yorkshire. In the kitchen they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything for you. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used wadded up newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, they didn't use electricity or fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that worked by human effort. But she's right. They didn't have the green thing back then. They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled pens with ink, instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But they didn't have the green thing back then. Back then, people took the bus and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus instead of turning their mothers into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint. But despite all that the old lady was right... They didn't have the green thing back in her day.

For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011

Page 13

nw ROOFING Nic Walker


01642 598878 07950 168397

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 14 The Local Answer

June 2011


Gardening Tips for JUNE

Sponsored by Sir Plants-Alot Garden Centre & Nursery Roses  Remove fading flowers on a regular basis to encourage new blooms.  Remove any suckers growing from the rootstock.  Aphids, mildew, blackspot and rust can be a problem this month. Treat as soon as an attack is noticed.  After the climbing roses bloom, be sure to prune them. Next year’s blooms will be produced on this summer’s new growth. Shrubs  Several of the shrubs that bloom on wood made during the previous year may be pruned as soon as the flowers fade to enable new shoots as long as possible to mature to carry next year’s blooms.  Prune evergreens such as boxwoods, Camellia and Junipers.

Vegetables  Brussels Sprouts, Sprouting Broccoli, Summer And Winter Cabbages,Cauliflowers, Kales And Leeks All Need Planting Into Their Final Positions.  Continue To Make Regular Sowings of Lettuces And Radishes.  Other Crops Where Further Sowings Can Be Made Are Runner And French Beans, Beetroot, Carrots, Peas, Swede And Turnips.  Earth-Up Main Crop Potatoes To Prevent Tubers From Being Exposed To Light.  Keep On Top Of The Weeding, By Hoeing And By Hand, Also Do Any Necessary Thinning.

Lawns  Mowing Can Now Be Increased To Twice A Week. If There Is A Long Dry Spell Raise The Height Of The Mower Blades.  Treat Any Isolated Weeds With A Spot Treatment Weed Killer.  Feed With A Lawn Fertilizer When The Ground Is Moist. For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011

Page 15

Bulbs  Always let the foliage on spring bulbs die down naturally. This is vital for next year’s display.  Dahlia tubers not yet planted should be put in as soon as possible.  All plants that need support should be staked at the time of planting. Fruit  Fruits trained against walls should be watered if necessary.  Strawberries should be in full production this month. Place straw or special mats under the plants to prevent the fruit from being soiled.  Keep an eye out for pest and disease. Spraying with an organic insecticide/fungicide may be necessary. Please ensure you follow all instructions on the label. Greenhouse  On hot summer days ventilate as much as possible and damp down twice a day greenhouse floors and benches to prevent the air from becoming dry.  Shade plants from the midday sun and water as often as necessary.  Continue to pot on seedlings and rooted cuttings as required.  Secure stems of tomatoes to supports and remove side shoots as soon as they appear. Miscellaneous Continue to plant out annual bedding for a colourful display into the autumn. Cut back faded blooms of herbaceous plants to encourage further flowering Mulch where possible to reduce weeding and to conserve moisture keep planted tubs and hanging baskets well watered during dry spells. Regular feeding is also good practice. Remember to water plants early morning or on an evening to prevent scorching of the plant foliage.

GIFT VOUCHER Sir Plants-Alot Sandy Lane West, Wynyard Road, Billingham. TS22 5NB

01740 644977

25% OFF ANY PLANT at Sir Plants-Alot Garden Centre & Nursery Valid until 30th June 2010.

Please present voucher when paying. Discount applies to individual plant only. One voucher per customer. Does not include special offers.

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 16 The Local Answer

Great Golf Stories

June 2011

After the pure nail biting excitement of that last day of The Masters Golf tournament from Augusta we got to thinking about the sport and what a funny way it is to spend a considerable amount of time. A few humorous tales came up and we’d like to share them with you. A really rubbish golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf, enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being hopeless, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." The caddy looks back at him and says, "I don't think you could keep your head down that long." Arnold Palmer and Tiger Woods are playing the 16th hole, when Tiger's tee shot lands behind a huge, 100 foot fir tree. Tiger looks at Arnie and says, "How would you play this one? Lay up and take the extra stroke?" Arnold replies: "When I was your age, I'd just play right over this tree." Tiger, not wanting to be shown up by ol' Arnold Palmer, proceeds to hit the ball high, but not high enough. It bounces off the tree and lands out of bounds. Tiger, really ticked at this point, asks Arnold how he EVER hit a ball over that tree. Arnold replied: "Well, when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall." Bill and his wife Sally died and went to Heaven together. They were met at the gates by an angel who was to show them the place. Right over here, we have our very own golf course! "Wow! It's beautiful! Can we play it now?" they both asked. "Sure!" said the angel. Therefore, the couple began playing. It was the most beautiful course they had ever seen. Everything was perfect... the fairways, the greens, even the roughs. The more they played the more the woman beamed with happiness, but she noticed her husband was becoming disheartened and angry.


Sally confronted her husband on what was wrong. She said, "I can't understand why you're not happy. We're in Heaven! We're together! We're playing on the most beautiful and perfect golf course ever! What's wrong with you?" Bill replied, "If you hadn't fed us that damn health food, we'd have been here years ago!" Bill, Ralph, and Fred gathered for a round of golf on Mother's Day. The men were quite surprised at being "let go" for the day, and each wanted to know how the other got away from their wife. Fred said, "I purchased a dozen red roses for my wife, and she was so happy that she let me go." Ralph said, "I purchased a diamond ring for my wife, and she was so thrilled with me that she let me go." Bill said, "I woke up this morning, rolled over, looked at my wife, and said to her: `Golf course or intercourse,' and she said: 'I'll put your clubs in the car'." Two golfers were being held up as the twosome of women in front of them whiffed shots, hunted for lost balls and stood over putts for what seemed like hours. "I'll ask if we can play through," Bill said as he strode toward the women. Twenty yards from the green, however, he turned on his heel and went back to where his companion was waiting. "Can't do it," he explained, sheepishly. "One of them is my wife and the other's my mistress!" "I'll ask," said Ralph. He started off, only to turn and come back before reaching the green. "What's wrong?" Bill asked. Ralph replied, "Small world, isn't it?" My wife asked me why I don't play golf with Patrick anymore. I asked her "would you continue to play with a guy who always gets drunk, loses so many balls other groups are always playing through, tells lousy jokes while you are trying to putt and generally offends everyone around him on the course?" "Certainly not, dear" she replied. "Well, neither would he."

For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011

Page 17

NEW PLAS ROOFLINE • • • • • • • • • •



0800 7818970












07787 950234

Quality Comes Naturally at...

Est. 1987

Into our 22nd year serving the area with quality Windows, Doors & Conservatories.

Confused about energy efficiency? Then call the experts. See how Marton Windows can save your energy and money!

FREEPHONE: 0800 097 5621


P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 18 The Local Answer

June 2011


Optimism – The Fundamental Requirement Of Every ‘Boro Fan! The weirdest thing about the football season just ended is that for the majority of it most ‘Boro fans wanted it to be over. Once it was we were desperately disappointed that it couldn’t carry on for a lot longer. The reason, of course, was that someone had finally switched on the light at the end of the tunnel. The last few weeks were excellent, and a run of twelve games with only one defeat was more than anyone could have envisaged when Tony Mowbray took over the reigns. It’s an old Music Hall expression that you should always leave your audience wanting more and the team have certainly achieved that aim.

It was vitally important from the ‘Boro hierarchy’s point of view that as the season neared its conclusion the team would provide some semblance of hope for next season. They have done more than that. Twenty five points from a possible thirty six is not just an improvement on all that had gone before. It’s a real indication of enormous potential because mathematically translating that number of points over a full season would equate to 96 points. The increasingly important goal ratio of 26 scored and 12 conceded during those twelve games would convert to 99 scored and 46 conceded over a season – or more accurately + 53. QPR won the Championship with 88 points and a goal difference of +39. I leave it up to you to draw your own conclusions from those statistics but I think it heralds a fantastic 2011/12 season. Tony Mowbray has consistently claimed he doesn’t need to sell his better young players and if any advice were proffered to the likes of Rhys Williams and Joe Bennett it would be to take a glance at the situation of David Wheater. Not a first choice by any means at Bolton and played out of position when he is selected isn’t what he envisaged when he joined Owen Coyle earlier in the season. Money is obviously important but the most vital part of being a young footballer is playing week in week out. We know that all of Dave Parnaby’s young players will ultimately get that real opportunity under Tony Mowbray and that should be incentive enough to turn down the higher money at this stage of their career. If they prove to be good enough playing with the ‘Boro first team the money will eventually come flooding in, whether here or somewhere else. Both Stewart Downing and Adam Johnson hung on in there until the right opportunity came along and they are doing really well. If these lads do the same they will eventually find themselves in a similar happy position. The necessity to cut the wage bill in half has already received a huge boost with the resignation of Keith Lamb. Now at the age where he is probably reaping the benefits of the investments and pension plans he has made over the past forty years or so he can no doubt afford to make that decision without any financial worries. He should, nevertheless, be thanked for much of the work he has done at ‘Boro over the last twenty five years or so and should also be applauded for taking this decision. That he will be retained in an unpaid directorate capacity is a huge benefit to the club because his enormous experience will still be available to us. We wish him well. So, have a wonderful Summer and let’s look forward to a great season next year. It’ll be here before you know it! For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011

Page 19

Big Brands

Small Prices Bathroom Suites Shower Screens


Heating &


Wet Rooms Wet Walls

Rubber Duck Bathroom is the only web site you need visit to transform any bathroom into luxury contemporary or traditional bathrooms. Browse our huge selection of whirlpool baths, bathroom suites, bathroom furniture, lighting, taps, showers and much more online. Our comprehensive range of products has been designed to offer both quality and versatility to any bathroom, so enjoy shopping with Rubber Duck Bathroom where luxury for less becomes reality. Redcar Based Company P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.

Page 20 The Local Answer

June 2011


Welham Kitchens • Bedrooms • Bathrooms

Transform your home with a bespoke room

Spring into Summer

with a new kitchen, bedroom or bathroom

from our new season range

Exclusive designs and custom built units, project management service, tiling, Karndean flooring, plastering, all carried out by experienced professional fitters . For more information call 01642 491257 or visit Visit our Showroom: Zetland Buildings, LongbeckTrading Estate, Marske. TS11 6HB For information about the Local Answer visit

The Local Answer

June 2011

Page 21

THE BEST WAY TO ATTRACT LOCAL CUSTOMERS The Local Answer publication is the most effective way to attract local customers. Its convenient A5 size and monthly format makes it easy to keep handy in a drawer or by the telephone. An alphabetical index of services, at the back, is always at hand and easy to use.

With a combined free distribution of over 64,900 copies delivered monthly The Local Answer offers readers a true snapshot of local businesses.

Rates & Sizes Per Issue Per Month 1/8




2 Months (min) Black & White





2 Months (min) Full Colour





6 Months Series Black & White





6 Months Series Full Colour





All prices shown exclude VAT.

We will design your advertisement FREE of charge and advertisers will receive a proof copy prior to publication. Your advert can be changed every month. All billing is on a pay as you go basis monthly. There is a minimum contract of two months. New customers must pay for their initial advertisements in advance.

For More Information Call 01642 483304

The Local Answer is published by Media Solutions NE Ltd. 48 Cranbourne Drive, Redcar, TS10 2SP

m, gha tion n i l i l Bi Ed on, yard t r n o Wy wN Ne ston, i lv Wo

Areas Covered

14,900 copies 17,500 copies 20,000 copies 12,500 copies

Saltburn, East Redcar, Marske & Cleveland, Loftus & New Marske Edition Guisborough Edition

Ingleby Barwick, Stockton & Eaglescliffe Edition

Norton, Billingham, Wolviston, Wynyard Edition

P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.


Animal Hutches/Kennels

NU Vision . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13

Creative Landscapes . . Page 5

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 24

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 24

First Class Landscapes Page 1

Architectural Drawing/Plans

Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 2

KDS Landscapes . . . . . Page 3

Chris Donkin . . . . . . . . . Page 5


Unique Landscapes . . . Page 23


Unique Builders . . . . . . . Page 23

Mobility Aids

Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . Page 19

Driveway Cleaning

Stockton Mobility . . . . . . Page 7

Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20

Cleveland Prowash . . . Page 3



First Impressions . . . . . . Page 5

Gas Appliance Service . Page 3

Space Master . . . . . . . . Page 7


GTS Plumbing . . . . . . . . Page 2

Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20

Powersafe Electrics . . . Page 10

Roofing Services



Bramley Builders . . . . . . Page 7

AWE Blinds . . . . . . . . . . Page 11

Suretrax . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 4

New Plas . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 17

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 24

Estate Agent

NW Roofing . . . . . . . . . . Page 13


Property Angel . . . . . . . . Page 3

SG Roofing . . . . . . . . . . Page 9

Bramley Builders . . . . . . Page 7

Fascias & Soffits


Gel Property . . . . . . . . . .Page 2

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 11

Ray Dales . . . . . . . . . . . Page 9

Unique Builders . . . . . . . Page 23

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 9


Car Servicing & Repairs


Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 24

Merc Spec . . . . . . . . . . . Page 1

Unique Landscapes . . . Page 23

Stair Lifts

Carpet Fitting

Fitted Wardrobes

Stockton Mobility . . . . . . Page 7

DM Flooring . . . . . . . . . . Page 2

Space Master . . . . . . . . Page 7

Window Repairs


Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20

Andy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 9


Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 17

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 11

DM Flooring . . . . . . . . . . Page 2

NU Vision . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 24

Garden Maintenance

Window Wizard . . . . . . . Page 2

Cleaning (Domestic)

Creative Landscapes . . Page 5

Dust & Shine . . . . . . . . . Page 7

First Class Landscapes Page 1

Cleaning (Exterior)

KDS Landscapes . . . . . Page 3

Cleveland Prowash . . . Page 3

Garden Nurseries

First Impressions . . . . . . Page 5

Sir Plants Alot . . . . . . . . Page 15



Offroad North East . . . . Page 10

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 11


MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 9

Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 17

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 24

D.I.Y Stores

Health & Safety

Cooch Coo Cards . . . . . . . Page 4

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 11

Norton Safety . . . . . . . . .Page 11

Eaglescliffe Cakes . . . . . . Page 5

MB Distribution . . . . . . . Page 9


Kay Hair & Makeup . . . . . Page 5

Screws’n’Things . . . . . . Page 24

Gas Appliance Service . Page 3

Sandra Rose Florist . . . . . Page 2

Domestic Cleaning

GTS Plumbing . . . . . . . . Page 2

Simon White Photo . . . . . . Page 8

Dust & Shine . . . . . . . . . Page 7

Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . Page 19

Sporting Lodge . . . . . . . . . Page 7

Double Glazing


Andy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5

Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20

Marton Windows . . . . . . Page 17


Wedding Pullout See the centre pullout of this publication for a special wedding pullout full of advice. This section contains the following: Asha Wedding Planning . Page 5 Bridal Barn & Cars . . . . . . Page 3

Wags Hair Dressing . . . . . Page 1 Whittakers Jewelers . . . . . Page 2

Friendly note to our customers: The index is a free service and the publishers cannot accept responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions. Multiple insertions depend on available space.

The Local Answer

June 2011

Page 23




Here at Unique we have over 30 years of landscaping/ horticultural expertise in both domestic and commercial environments . Our enthusiastic approach and customer interaction enable us to transform your garden ideas, images and needs into reality, traditional or modern . Supplying solutions in every aspect of garden design & construction . • Patios, Paths, Driveways • Walls, Fencing • Timber Decks, Gazebos, Arches • Ponds, Rockeries • Drainage Systems / Soakaways • Automatic Irrigation • Planting Schemes • General Maintenance • Design/Advice Service • Tree Surgery/Pruning Quality of work and working practices, not forgetting creativity, affordability and customer satisfaction are all key elements within our work environment . Thinking of landscaping, give us a call, no obligation . Free Advice/Quotation and friendly service .


& Property Maintenance Property Renovations, alterations & home improvements, domestic and commercial . All aspects of interior and exterior repairs . • Brick and Stonework • Concreting • Plastering and Tiling • Kitchen and Bathrooms • Extensions • Drains and Gutters

Please Call: Paul Stamp 07590 617368 Martin Greenidge: 07855 817221 Office: 01642 890278 7 Henryd Close, Ingleby Barwick. P l e a s e m e ntion ‘The Local Answer ’ when calling advertisers.


GUTTERS FIXINGS FASCIAS SOFFITS All PVC facias and soffits cut to your measurements.


Einhell professional power tools

Wide range of colours and finishes available.






2.50 PER TUBE OR 3 FOR 7.00

only 1.30

1.90 PER TUBE OR 4 FOR 6.80



01642 677778

Tel: 1 Portrack Court, Portrack Lane, Stockton, TS18 2HP OPEN: MON-FRI 7:30 - 5:30 • SAT 7:30 - 2pm • SUN 9:30 - 1pm


WOOD SCREW BARGINS 10% OFF CURRENT PRICES we don’t need sales because our prices are always rock bottom YOU CAN ORDER ONLINE AND COLLECT SAVING MORE MONEY Friendly note to our customers: The index is a free service and the publishers cannot accept responsibility or liability for any errors The Local Answer is produced by Solutions NE insertions Ltd (01642) 483304 Printedspace. by Acorn Web Offset (01924) 220633 orMedia omissions. Multiple depend onand available


& PONDS FENCING TURFING Tel 01642 483304 Distributed Monthly to over 12,500 Homes Billingham, Norton, Wolviston & Wynyard Edition Sa...

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you