2018 LHM Magazine "He Is Worthy"

[COVER]

1

Contents He is Worthy .............................................................. 3 Join Us in a Worthy Calling ...................................... 4 Choosing Jesus: Choosing Righteousness................... 5

BOARD OF DIRECTORS

LHM Men's Ministry ................................................. 7

Rev. Bob Stith Chairman of the Board

A Sustaining Gospel .................................................. 8

Sue Bohlin Secretary of the Board

Women Answering: Is He Really Worthy? ............... 10

Larry Forkner

Candace's Story ....................................................... 11 The Bond of Mother & Daughter ............................ 12 LHM Houston.......................................................... 14 LHM Denton ........................................................... 15 A Year in Review...................................................... 16

Michael McFarlane Rev. Ricky Chelette Executive Director STAFF Rev. Ricky Chelette Executive Director Bonnie Scasta Women’s Ministry Director

Finding Karen Amidst Confusion............................ 18

Bruno Borges Men’s Ministry Director Director of Operations

Understanding My Sweetheart ................................ 21

Chris Ward Campus Director - LHM Houston

A Different Gospel ................................................... 22

Jennifer Ward Women's Ministry Director - LHM Houston

Sabastian's Story ..................................................... 25

Michael & Jennifer McFarlane Campus Directors, LHM Denton, TX

Finding Hope at the Hope House ............................ 27 What People are Saying .......................................... 28

Bear Hanrahan Director of Media Communications Marsha Inman Development Robert Jacobs Staff Writer livehope.org 817.459.2507 PO Box 2239 Arlington, TX 76004

Our Mission Living Hope Ministries seeks to proclaim God’s truth as we journey with those seeking sexual and relational wholeness through a more intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

2

Living Hope Ministries is a non-profit, nondenominational, 501(c)3 organization. All gifts and donations are tax deductable. Copyright 2018 Living Hope Ministries, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part must cite Living Hope Ministries, author’s name when given, and www.livehope.org.

Living Hope Ministries (LHM) is a very strange ministry, at least by the world’s standards. I didn’t think it was strange when I first started working with the ministry in 1998.

Today, I’m told that it is not only strange, but to some strange enough to be considered criminal. What is it that we do that warrants such rancor and vitriol? We embrace the reality of a Creator who purposefully and intentionally created human beings as male and female and asks them to obey His design for their human thriving.

new, “we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is” (1 Jn 3:2).

This teaching was merely common sense and observable reality some forty years ago. Today, however, this simple teaching is touted as controversial and, some would even claim, harmful. In my short lifetime, truths related to gender, sex, and identity which have long been considered incontrovertible have become the topic of evening news debates, endless lawsuits, and denominational, religious, and family division. This fracturing has, in turn, become the basis for the redefining of the most fundamental institution of human reproduction – marriage.

When individuals embrace God’s truth and love, they are transformed, not by their efforts, but by His power. It is only when we rightly understand who God is that we can see who we are and how we are to live in relationship to Him. It is in discovering the source of all that is, that all that exists derives its true meaning and purpose.

Each of the preceding verses is pregnant with meaning, theology, identity, and mystery. As the words speak to us from the pages of history and the heart of God, we see the wonder and beauty of Christ who calls us to be more than we could ever imagine.

These are the truths we teach at LHM. Never has the need for LHM been more apparent or our mission been more powerful. This is why we have created podcasts to answer the questions you are asking. This is why we are developing resources to help those who are struggling with gender confusion, identity issues, and sexual and relational hurts.

This is why we have the world’s largest online support forums for those dealing with, or those who know someone who deals with, these issues. This is why we offer in-house support groups in Arlington, Houston, and Denton, Texas. This is why we spend hundreds of hours each week talking, writing, responding, and walking with those searching for real answers grounded in The Truth. And we offer these services free of charge.

Why would Living Hope be so brazen as to push against this cultural shift? Why would a little ministry in the heart of Texas seek to speak timeless truths to an ever-changing, everevolving cultural milieu?

Because at the core of Living Hope Ministries is a belief that there is a holy, righteous God who lovingly and intentionally created humans, knowing they would rebel. Yet even before their creation, He compassionately planned to redeem their fallenness. He would become their sin so they could become His children. Never in all of history has a god given so much to redeem his creation. Never has there been such a demonstration of magnanimous and gracious love. And it is because of God’s display of love towards us, His sinful creation, that we believe that He is worthy of our very lives.

Your partnership with us through your prayers and financial support is critical to the work we do. We are a David fighting the movements of a cultural Goliath. But fear not. Our stones and sling have been chosen by the One who promises victory if we will faithfully obey His truth. Yes, the ministry we do at LHM is strange to the world because it ushers people into Kingdom-living, radically transforming lives and hearts and causing the kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven! It is a cause worthy of your support because we focus on the only One who is truly worthy of our very lives - Jesus. Won’t you join us on the journey as we worship and serve the One who is truly worthy?

At Living Hope, we ground all of our thoughts and actions in the timeless truths of scripture. We believe “that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever would believe in Him would not perish but have everlasting life” (Jn 3:16). And that “God demonstrated His love towards us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rm 5:8). For our redemption, “He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (1 Co 5:21). For those who “receive him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God” (Ga 3:25). Through this redemptive power of Christ, anyone who is “in Christ…is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Co 5:17). Having been made

3 3

Christ

By Rev. Bob Stith, Chairman of the Board

When I first got involved in this ministry over 23 years ago, I was puzzled by two things. I was warned before attending my first conference that we would encounter protesters. This puzzled me because those who attended that meeting were some of the most Christ-like, gentle spirited people I’d ever met. It was after that conference that I realized that every time someone stood up and said, “This is what I was and this is what Christ has done for me” that their testimony put a light to the argument that change isn’t possible.

preparing families in areas of prevention or of how to respond if a loved one comes out.

Thinking back on these unfortunate truths, I realized that both stem from a lack of confidence in the sufficiency of Jesus. If we’re convinced that He is able, that He is worthy, we will not hesitate to proclaim that worthiness.

We’ve seen men, women, and families come from all over to attend Living Hope because they realize we are convinced that He is worthy, that He still sets captives free. Through the years, I’ve seen hundreds go through Living Hope and move on to become faithful followers of Christ, humbly serving their churches, communities, and families.

We are thankful for your support, and I unhesitatingly encourage you to continue to support this ministry. Since Ricky Chelette became our director, the ministry has grown exponentially. He is not only one of the best I’ve known at helping those impacted by this struggle, but he has also done a phenomenal job of growing the ministry.

Today, Living Hope Ministries is one of the foremost ministries in the world addressing biblical sexuality.

I was also puzzled by the lack of support from the local church. After experiencing that conference, I was convinced that when the church became aware of this kind of ministry they would all want to jump on board.

While support has certainly improved, there is still much to do. Most churches don’t have support systems in place for same-sex attracted strugglers, nor are they effectively

We unhesitatingly proclaim, “He is Worthy.” Join us in this venture.

4 4

CHOOSING JESUS: CHOOSING RIGHTEOUSNESS

By Josh, 26

We often all have defining moments in our lives, instances or circumstances that often change us forever. I have had several of these moments in the last eight years. In 2011, I was a newly graduated high school student at a church camp with friends when God spoke to me clearly. He told me that I needed to confess what I was hiding, my struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA). I was overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, and stress to the point of being sick. Yet I listened and obeyed God, no matter how hard it was. Listening when God speaks and obeying Him may sometimes bring temporary pain, but that pain is always worth the amazing opportunities He places in front of us through obedience.

That night in 2011, as I laid praying for strength to do what God was leading me to do, was one of those defining

moments. Even though I didn’t know for sure how the person I was going to tell would react, I trusted God. And God not only protected me, but through that wonderful, loving woman, God lead me to Living Hope Ministries.

I learned and grew so much in that one year. But even with all the growth I had experienced, I still struggled to choose Jesus every day, grappling with a pornography addiction that I had been dealing with since fifth grade.

Within a few months, I was connected on the Living Hope online forums and the next March I flew down to Texas for the Living Hope Retreat. I was a scared, shy 19-year-old who had never flown by myself, let alone traveled to a different state where I knew no one. Yet at the same time, I knew all of the people at the retreat in a deep way. We all knew each other’s deepest, darkest sin, SSA. For the first time in my life, I felt a freedom I had never experienced; I no longer had to hide.

After my year in the Hope House, I continued to live in Texas close to Living Hope so that I could receive encouragement, discipleship, and most importantly hope. But after I moved out on my own, not everything went perfectly. My pornography addiction worsened, my depression deepened, and my hope waned. I isolated myself from Ricky and Living Hope. Eventually, I stopped struggling at all and in May of 2015 I decided that my happiness was more important than my righteousness.

Soon after the retreat, God called me to move to Texas. Once again, I knew I had to listen and obey, even if that meant moving to another state. I enrolled in Living Hope’s Hope House, an amazing year-long, live-in discipleship program.

" I felt a freedom

5

I had never experienced; I no longer had to hide.

I decided I couldn’t live like I was and I chose to live my life as a gay man.

I quickly cut ties with everyone at Living Hope except Ricky and a few months later I was dating a man.

This led to a two-and-a-half-year relationship living with my ex. Yet thru all of that time of disobedience, God still spoke to me. Sometimes He spoke to me directly, but more often He spoke thru a select few people, like my friends Joel and Jenny who often encouraged me and told me how God loved me. During this period in my life, Living Hope, in particular Ricky, never stopped encouraging me and telling me he was there whenever I wanted to return home. Yet I stubbornly continued to ignore God. This stubbornness lasted until May of 2017 when my grandmother was diagnosed with stage four cancer.

She was the person in my life and my family’s lives who prayed every day for us. Her faith was unmatched by anyone else I knew. God used her powerfully in this short window, taking her 19 days after her diagnosis. Thru this extremely traumatic and spiritual event in my life, God reminded me of his goodness and love. He reminded me of the importance of family and faith.

After I flew back to Texas, I dealt with extreme anxiety attacks and depression. I would go to sleep every night next to my boyfriend and awake to an anxiety attack because I heard God speaking to me and I was scared to obey. As I laid down to sleep, God

would often put images in my mind of me preaching, of me helping others with my testimony. But I couldn’t imagine how I could come out of the lifestyle I had chosen. How could I break off the relationship with my best friend? How could I afford to live on my own again? I often laid in bed and pleaded with God. I would tell Him I couldn’t do this and that I needed Him. God listened to my cries and my pain. And in July of that year, I decided to listen and obey once again.

I immediately reached out to Ricky.

He encouraged me, prayed for me, and told me how much he loved me and that God loved me. His response was how Jesus would respond, which is how Living Hope always had responded to me. It reminds me of the parable of the prodigal son when it says, “And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him” (Lk 15:20).

This is a beautiful representation of Jesus. And this was how Living Hope reacted to me. They loved me, encouraged me, and helped me with all the difficulties and pain that I went through in order to start following Jesus again. Whether I was in the

66

"

"Yet I stubbornly continued to ignore God." “far country” or coming back, Living Hope exemplified their name. They continuously pointed me to the true living hope, Jesus Christ. Without the support, encouragement, and love of Living Hope, I never would be where I am today. Even though it’s a year later and I’m no longer in Texas, I still have continuous support from Ricky and the ministry. I continue to struggle with my addiction, and at times fall back into not resisting at all. But all I have to do is listen to God and obey and he will continue to change my heart, mind, and soul into the man that God has defined me to be.

MEN EMBRACING LORDSHIP

By Bruno Borges, Men’s Ministry Director and Director of Operations

This has certainly been an incredible year for the Living Hope Men’s Ministry. We have seen the Lord continuously transform our men’s lives in all areas as they seek and claim a deeper relationship with Jesus. Specifically, we have seen men graduate from our Hope House Discipleship Program and have added others to the in-house and online support groups. As for the operations of our ministry, we expanded, remodeled, and are now operating in our new, beautiful office. Despite our growth, much has also happened within our culture that has driven many to question the worthiness of following the lordship of Jesus.

Lord’s instructions (Jn 15:15). A person who lives in willful, unrepentant sin has obviously not chosen to follow Christ, because Christ calls us out of sin and into righteousness.

Thankfully, the Bible clearly teaches that faith in Christ will result in a changed life (2 Cor 5:17; Gal 5:22–23; Jas 2:14–26).

As we continue to sail against the cultural tides, the Men's Ministry at LHM will also continue to disciple our participants to place their faith in the hands of a loving Lord, a God who not only cares but is the only one with the supreme power that can transform every aspect of our lives.

"As a Christian, we should all know that the rules and boundaries set forth by God are meant to protect us so that we can live out His best for our lives."

As Christians, we love the idea of Jesus as our Savior. We pray and dream about the things He can give us and do for us. And I have to admit, many of my own prayers are geared towards what I want from Christ. This self-focused perspective, however, ignores the reality of His lordship over us, and what that entails. As we target the topic of sexual brokenness and same-sex attraction, I believe that the level at which many of us struggle in this area is directly connected to our willingness to recognize and surrender to Jesus' authority over us.

Join me in praying for our men as they seek to...

• ...experience true faith that produces a changed life (2 Cor 5:17).

• ...be internally transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit (Gal 2:20).

• ...love their brothers (1Jn 3:14).

• ...be obedient towards God's commandments (Jn 15:14; 1Jn 2:3).

• ...do God's will (Mt 12:50).

• ...abide in God's Word (Jn 8:31).

• ...keep God's Word (Jn 17:6).

• ...do good works (Eph 2:10).

• ...continue in the faith (Col 1:21-23; Heb 3:14).

Lordship is defined by supreme power or rule. This means that when we go against the rules established by the supreme power, we will surely face consequences. As a Christian, we should all know that the rules and boundaries set forth by God are meant to protect us so that we can live out His best for our lives.

Problems arise when we get caught up in our own wants and desires, demonstrating a lack of faith and patience to believe that Jesus is in the business of miraculous transformation.

Scripture teaches that a true profession of faith will be backed up by evidence of that faith (Jas 2:14; Rev 12:11). If a person is truly following the Lord, then he or she will obey the

But above all, I pray that our men will continue to believe that Jesus is Worthy! He is worthy of all sacrificial choices that we make in obedience to His lordship. These sacrifices, in turn, reflect the divine glory found in the perfect ways in which He created everything and everyone.

7

A Sustaining Gospel

By Brett, 28

M

y name is Brett and I struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA). For the last six years, I have— in some capacity or another—been involved with Living Hope Ministries in Arlington, Texas. The work of this ministry has proliferated the gospel in my life, a gospel that has sustained me and my marriage.

I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the wilderness, into a land not sown…What wrong did you fathers find in me, that they went so far from me, and went after worthlessness, and become worthless? – Jer 2:2,5 Six years ago, I was young man coming to grips with the realities of the Christian life as a man who struggles with SSA. I was at this point two years removed from the end of a particularly dependent relationship with another young man at my university. During that time, I was attempting to walk away from the church and pursue a life that I had hoped would make me happy.

The thought of the emotional and physical intimacy promised by the gay lifestyle was exceptionally exhilarating and intoxicating to me.

At that time, I was ready to trash my faith and my heritage in order to be loved and to love my good friend. I was certain that I had found what I had always been looking for. It was at this moment that God chose to step in, as He so often does. In the summer of 2010 my friend, in whom I had invested all my hopes and identity, rejected me and ended our friendship. This, as you might suspect, effectively wrecked my entire life.

For long ago I broke your yoke and burst your bonds; but you said 'I will not

serve'. Yes, on every high hill and under every green tree you bowed down like a whore… you said “It is hopeless, for I love foreign gods, and after them I will go – Jer 2:20,25

me. It seemed that God was intent on making me miserable no matter what path I chose. While I considered these two options, I became bitter towards God for taking away my friend.

What followed were many months of depression, self-abuse, and antidepressants. It was a horrible time to be around me. I was then and am now a Christian, although one that was not pleasant to be around at that time.

I knew from my upbringing in the church that homosexuality was counter

Why then do my people say 'We are free, we will not come to you anymore? Can a virgin forget her ornaments or bride her attire? Yet my people have forgotten me days without number. – Jer 2:31-32

"

I was bit te r towa rd s God but also hopelessly despe rate f o r h i s l ove .

to God’s design for mankind. But I also knew that God promised to pursue His elected children until they repent and turn from sin.

I felt as if I had only two options. I could choose the gay lifestyle and be filled with guilt, mourning the loss and comfort of the God that I have known since childhood. Alternatively, I could choose repentance and suffer quietly while loneliness and longing consumed

8

As time progressed, seemingly unanswerable questions began to gather in my mind. If a Christian such as myself rejects God and turns to the love of a boyfriend, what happens when that boyfriend dies? What would become of me then? Having allowed me to have these particular proclivities, why not leave me to my chosen lifestyle? If God despises homosexuality but is also all powerful, why would he allow me to be this way? What kind of cruel God harms His children like that?

The question of “What will I do when the man of my dreams dies?” continually entered into my mind.

It became clear to me—after a large collection of poor choices—that no man (or woman for that matter) could sustain the weight of an eternal soul. If I was going to pursue Christ, the God of my fathers, I could not pursue another God. In spite of this, I was without consistent repentance for a long time.

Indeed, it was a very hard time in my life and it didn’t get better very quickly.

I was still full of malice and bitter about the predicament God had placed me in. Despite this frustration, I just kept going to church. I kept asking, “Why would God elect me as His son but also make me gay?” I was bitter towards God but also hopelessly desperate for his love. The lyric “O love that will not let me go” was pretty much the theme of that time in my life.

As the word was preached and heard, the Lord began to soften my heart.

I began to accept the Christian life, which I sarcastically referred to as “the life of suffering and celibacy.” I was a handful for the sainted heart of a college minister, but I was well loved.

I had a few friends and confidants, but I did not have like-minded people within my circles that could knowingly sympathize and advise me on the intense struggles that I was dealing with. But as it has been said many times before, “The Lord Provides.”

My college minister told me about an organization called Living Hope Ministries that ministers to people who struggle with SSA. Living Hope had recently established a satellite group at my alma mater under the auspices of a gentleman named Brock. Brock is no longer with us, but he was something else. A very straight and traditionally masculine farm boy and professor from central Texas who saw the struggles of young Christian men like myself and thought, “My Jesus can help those guys.”

Return, faithless Israel, declares the Lord. I will not look on you in anger, for I am merciful, declares the Lord; I will not be angry forever. Only acknowledge your guilt. – Jer 3:12-13 Brock introduced me to Living Hope and it was…interesting, to say the least.

Living Hope was, and is, not into fixing people or putting pretty, neat little bows on people’s messy and difficult lives. Our group meetings are frank and cut to the core of motivations and topics. We do not believe in or practice conversion therapy or claim to have the ability to “straighten people out.”

Living Hope is a ministry of the pure unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ.

Living Hope does not find a mate for all its same-sex attracted participants, but

instead points people to the gospel and a personal relationship with Christ.

Sitting under the teaching of Living Hope, I discovered anew that in Christ there is hope, love, and the long-waited healing that I was looking for in my relationships with other men. This all-consuming relationship with Jesus can, and will, change a person in very unpredictable ways. This same gospel led murderous Paul to a life of missions, slaver John Newton to a life behind the pulpit, and atheist scholar C.S. Lewis to a life of advocating for the supremacy of Christ.

Over the course of the following year, I attended group and heard the preaching of Ricky Chelette and the advice of Brock. I became aware during this time that the issue of samesex attraction is nothing new to the Christian faith.

Paul, that wisest and greatest of all church fathers, listed homosexuality in 1 Corinthians chapter 6 verses 9-11, among other sins, stating, “Such were some of you”. Such were some of you…

This might stun the world today, but repentant men and women like myself were present at the foundation of Christ’s Church. Neither Jesus nor Paul was surprised or confounded by these same-sex attracted folk or their deep longings. What the matter of homosexuality in its finality comes down to is this: sin, in all its forms, is the preference for something more than the infinitely fulfilling and powerful God of the Bible. God is more than anything that you or I could receive from another man, or woman. As David beautifully states, “The steadfast love of the Lord is better than life” (Ps 63:3).

99

One day all of one’s potential lovers will die. What then? Let there be no mistake, the gay lifestyle is choosing man before God. The investment of the eternal soul into the finite frame of a human relationship is a timeless folly, a folly that men have knowingly chosen and will likely continue to choose.

continued on page 30

WOMEN ANSWERING:

Is He Really Worthy?

By Bonnie Scasta, Women’s Ministry Director

happen in friend groups, in denying physical pleasures, in forsaking worldly definitions, and in abandoning identities rooted in attractions and feelings instead of who God reveals them to be through his Word. In facing these questions, they are often misunderstood by their family and friends and sometimes even their own church communities.

Whether a woman comes to Living Hope Ministries as one seasoned with years, just beginning to bud into adulthood, or any season in between, all speak about living a life that matters, a life filled with meaning and purpose, a life witnessed before others through intimacy and connection in relationships. They know God, or know of God, and wonder how He fits into this desire to feel connected, be seen, known, and loved amid the attractions and confusion they experience with their sexuality and/or gender. They seek connection with other women on this journey to see they are not alone in deciding the answer to the question: is God REALLY worthy?

So many desires and demands tug at their hearts. There is a battle within and without to decide if He is Worthy of not pursuing that same-sex relationship, possibly to live with unmet longings, and to struggle with shifting their thinking and beliefs from self-focused authority defined by feelings to a focus on the authority of the One who gave up His only son for them. Grappling with these decisions requires small steps of obedience over a long period of time, a devotion that takes place in the midst of continued temptations, loneliness, and a world that says it is impossible for the Lord to be someone’s ultimate satisfaction. Often, radical shifts must

At some point, or more often many points on their journey, these exceptional women wonder if God really is worthy of the sacrifice they will have to make to live for Him instead of themselves. You may know this sacrifice well. The battle to trust the Lord and truly believe that He is worthy is one that all believers face in some form or another. For many, the stakes are high. Yet for those struggling with their sexuality, the stakes can be even higher because of the noise of life around them. The world seems to be yelling at them from every avenue that their attractions are worthy, their feelings are worthy, their identities as a gay, lesbian, or transgender individual are worthy of devotion and celebration.

Social media, entertainment, and even their family and friends tell them that being “happy” is worthy. And that happiness, in turn, can be found in the arms of another person of the same sex if they embrace a LGBTQ+ identity.

As the women of Living Hope, we seek to be a consistent encouragement and reminder to one another, and the watching world for that matter, that He Is REALLY worthy. Our message has not changed despite any shift elsewhere in culture. The gospel (Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection) is evidence that God is worthy of our sacrifice, our devotion, our identities, and our attractions! He REALLY is worthy of living our lives for Him and not for anything else. Please join us in deciding He Is Worthy and praying for the Women’s Ministry of Living Hope.

10

"

"They seek connection with other women on this journey to see they are not alone in deciding the answer to the question: is God really worthy?"

By Robert Jacobs

It’s amazing how relationships can impact and alter the direction of our lives. We often hear people discuss the influence of friends in a negative light, warning listeners to guard themselves against acquaintances who would direct them down the wrong path.

This warning is not without biblical support. In his first letter to the church at Corinth, Paul admonishes us with a similar sentiment: “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals’” (1 Cor 15:33). Yet godly friendships can influence for good.

And this is precisely what Candice found out as God drew her to himself in the midst of her struggle.

Candice had recently moved to the DFW area when the couple that she was living with introduced her to another Christian couple in an effort to help her make friends. The group met and hit it off. “I started hanging out with them and some of their friends every week,” she recalled. “During my first month in DFW, I cut off my ex-girlfriend. Not wanting to be alone I went to my new friend’s house. I didn’t immediately talk about what was going on, but it felt good to not be alone.”

Yet God had bigger plans in mind when He brought Candice and her new friends together. Unbeknownst to her, one of the women in her new group was the former Women’s Ministry Director for Living Hope Ministries. Candice nervously shared her breakup and her new friend recommended that she come to

Living Hope. Although apprehensive, she looked at “the walk with God the group of friends had, how they brought [her] into their group, and the security [she] had in a vulnerable moment,” all of which “made [her] think that maybe [Living Hope] would be good for [her].”

“I grew up in church,” Candice noted.

“I knew the ‘right answers’ and presented myself well. I had really

want to pursue God more.”

During the weekly small group discussion, Candice was able to listen carefully to the way other women struggled with same-sex attractions but were choosing to find wholeness and hope in Christ. “Rather than being told what to do or lectured at,” she pointed out, “I am directed to allow the Holy Spirit to create change instead of morphing into the identity the group wants me to have.”

"I told God he had one more chance or I was going to walk away. " wanted to walk away from God, but saw him do too much in my life to confidently walk away and say there was no God. I was at a standstill.

No desire to move forward in a relationship, but not confident enough to walk away.”

Upon coming to Living Hope, Candice found herself once again surrounded by a group of friends who were whole heartedly pursuing Christ.

Still skeptical, she did not anticipate attending the group meetings with any kind of regularity. During her first year at Living Hope, Ricky taught from the book of Hebrews, theming his talks “Jesus is Better,” which had a profound impact on her: “I honestly didn’t think I would show up week to week, but hearing how Jesus was better than every other option pushed me to

11

Friends can change our lives for good or ill. For Candice, the friends God brought into her life were a blessing, pointing her back to Him. One of the main ways her friends at Living Hope did this was by being honest about their own sin, “[inviting] Christ into their struggle” and showing how “picking God changed their lives.”

“Right before coming to Living Hope,” she admitted, “I told God he had one more chance or I was going to walk away.” And God worked in that opportunity. After coming to Living Hope, Candice “understood the gospel for [herself] and believed it for the first time.” She goes on: “I came to believe it is only Christ who can save us and change the way we live. Seeing people week to week live this out transformed my walk.”

THE BOND OF A MOTHER & DAUGHTER: LILY’S STORY

12

By Robert Jacobs

W

ithin every culture, the relationship between mother and daughter is important. This wide spread commonality indicates a shared human reality: that there are important lessons that we must learn from our mothers.

This is the reason, I believe, that Paul instructs the older women of the Church to mentor younger women, ensuring the formation of a mother daughter style relationship even if one’s biological mother is absent (Ti 2:3-4).

she admitted. “Every relationship I had was unhealthy. I deeply struggled with emotional dependency…I learned how to relate to other people at LHM and, in that process, I stepped out of my comfort zone, making a few confidants I could share my “secret” with and get prayer, support, and love for me and my daughter… I learned that emotionally dependent relationships do not honor God. As the word tells us, He is a jealous God. We must honor him even in our relationships.”

As she reflected on the difference Living Hope made in her life, she noted that LHM had changed her life “drastically for the good.” “I learned that when my daughter was between relationships that she was not open to hearing what I would say…But I was able to pour that knowledge into my daughter, and God used it 18 years later to bring her out of a life of living and identifying as a lesbian.”

Yet this relationship is by no means unidirectional.

While mothers certainly instruct their daughters, their daughters, in turn, help their mothers become more fully devoted disciples of Christ. This is precisely what Lily discovered, for as she attempted to uncover help for her daughter’s sexual struggles she ended up finding healing for her own sexual and relational brokenness.

In January 2018, Lily’s daughter unexpectedly passed away.

“She was 32, just a few weeks shy of turning 33,” Lilly shared. “The year before she passed away, she turned her back on same-sex attraction and declared she no longer identified as a lesbian but only identified as a child of the Living God. The week before she passed away, she was doing a bible study on Heaven and was all excited about going to Heaven one day to live there and to be with Jesus.

She would tell me, ‘Momma, I just love Jesus so much.’”

“I found out my daughters struggle when she was around 14 or 15,” Lily shared. “She told me she would rather die than tell me she struggled. She was afraid I would hate her.”

After attending a ministry that was very far from her home, a friend told Lily about the Living Hope online community. She joined the forums in March of 2004 to find support in loving her daughter well, but she soon discovered that God sent her to Living Hope for more than that: “I know the Lord sent me to LHM not only for help, prayer, understanding and knowledge [for my daughter]. He sent me here for myself. I had no intention of ever telling anyone about [my struggle with same-sex attraction] or discussing it with God. [I hoped] somehow He would magically heal me and forget about it without talking about it.”

Even in the midst of the heart break and pain, God was with Lilly. Seeing the story of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane and the crucifixion in a new light, she experienced God’s sufficiency in a powerful way: “I learned during that time that God gave Jesus what He needed to go to the cross and that was His peace that passes all human understanding, [along with the] strength to endure. I now know this peace like never before.”

Getting plugged into both the Friends and Family group and the Married Women’s group, Lily began to understand what God desired for her relationships. “I didn't know what boundaries were and that I even needed them,”

“Thru obedience,” she concluded, “I was healed totally from my broken past and SSA and LHM was a big tool that God used to bring about this healing. For His glory. By grace I go.”

"The week before she passed away she was doing a bible study on Heaven and was all excited about going to Heaven one day to live there and to be with Jesus."

13

Houston

By Chris Ward, Director of Living Hope Houston

Recently, I attended a Men’s Retreat and had the privilege to spend time with some new friends. During one small group conversation, one of my new friends confessed that he was okay with church activities, but he wasn’t ok with everything that was taught about Jesus Christ. More specifically, he didn’t believe in the divinity of Christ. I understood him to say that Jesus was a real man and maybe even a good teacher, but that was all and nothing more. As he made his statement, the conversation within the small group fell abruptly silent.

heavy cross, allowed Himself to be nailed to it, bled on it, died on it, and rose from the dead, setting His life apart from all others and forgiving our sins to bring us into relationship with Him. At Living Hope Houston, we help people discover who they are by embracing who Jesus really is. We offer support groups for men, women, and friends and family helping each group find hope and healing through Christ. We know that biblical sexual wholeness in a sexually crazed and confused world is a difficult journey, but one that is well worth all the effort. For Jesus Christ is worthy of all our efforts to draw near to Him. And as we do draw near to Jesus, His worthiness becomes ours as He transforms our lives. Andrew Peterson captures this truth beautifully when he sings, “Is He worthy? Is He worthy of all blessing and honor and glory Is He worthy of this?

He is.”

The small group was well aware that this was no minor theological disagreement. If Christ is not divine, Christianity has always been, and will always be, meaningless. Many years ago, C.S. Lewis addressed this critical topic with simple yet profound logic. To believe that Jesus was simply a good, moral teacher, he argues, is completely illogical because He openly claimed to be God. Professor Lewis concludes, “[Jesus] would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell…Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse.”1 Jesus asks us to take up our cross and follow Him. We carry that cross and follow Him because He proved to the world that He was indeed divine. He was God when He carried that

"At Living Hope Houston, we help people discover who they are by embracing who Jesus really is."

Though Lewis is best known for the “trilemma” (i.e. Jesus is either a liar, lunatic, or lord) argument about Jesus’ divinity, which was published in Lewis’ work Mere Christianity, the oldest known use of this logical argument comes from Rabbi John Duncan (1796-1870) in his 1859 Colloquia Peripatetica.

1

14

"Your willingness to share has allowed us to grow."

By Michael & Jennifer McFarlane

guitar, but leads us in sweet worship each week. And after six years of prayer for a ministry to women to begin at our Denton campus, God has raised up several women to lead a women’s support group. Please pray for women in the Denton area who need this ministry to not only hear about us, but to take that brave first step and get involved.

Greetings from the far North!

Okay, Denton, Texas may not be that far North. Yet for those who would have to brave the miles and miles of Dallas Fort Worth traffic to get to Arlington for Living Hope from Denton, it does seem like we are a long, long way. The Denton Satellite has seen quite a bit of growth this year. Our Friends and Family Group has doubled in size. In addition, the Men’s group has added a couple of guys and their consistent attendance is a weekly encouragement to all of us.

The Denton group has also begun some of its own traditions.

This past year, we had over twenty folks for what has become an annual Thanksgiving meal the week of Thanksgiving. We also had a group cookout over Labor Day Weekend. These times of gathering have been great opportunities for everyone to encourage one another and have some great fellowship.

This past year has let us see God at work in the lives of His people when they seek Him and align their lives with His truth. If you have shared about Living Hope with someone hurting from sexual sin, or given financially to support this ministry, we cannot thank you enough.

Your willingness to share has allowed us to grow. And by spreading the word about the hope Living Hope gives, you help rescue those either from sexual sin or from the pain of dealing with loved ones caught in this trap all alone. Thank you so much.

We have also had some wonderful answered prayers for our satellite. God brought us Don, who not only plays a great

Michael and Jennifer McFarlane are volunteer leaders of the Denton Satellite campus in Denton, TX.

Denton 15

16 16

17 17

FINDING KAREN AMIDST CONFUSION

By Karen

18 18

I

n God’s plan for my life, my journey to Living Hope really began when I was a child.

My third-grade teacher described me in one of my report cards as being calm, cool, and collected. I had always thought that was a strange and rather sad way to describe an eight-year-old.

Now I understand why those words described me so well. Looking back, it was what I had to be in order to survive. My heart and my body were not safe from hurt in my home. My father was a bully with a definitive cruel streak and my grandmother was sexually confused and acted inappropriately with me. As a result, I became an expert in separating my head from my heart. Anything that hurt was placed in a box, sealed up tight, and stored in the remotest part of the warehouse that my heart became, never to be looked at again.

Or so I thought.

Once I was out of my father’s home, I carefully and diligently constructed a very safe world for myself including marriage to an amazing, godly man. But within that world, all relationships were kept at a certain distance, particularly female ones. I barely dared admit it to myself, but from junior high on I knew there was something wrong with me. I had seen the raw, naked fear in my mother’s eyes of the answer I would give her when she broached the subject late one afternoon. I looked at that fear in her eyes for a moment and then not missing another beat, I lied. I knew I was attracted to girls in the way I was supposed to be attracted to boys, but she could never know that and neither could anyone else.

I knew the roles I played in life – wife, mother, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, friend, employee – but I did not know who I was. my life, I kept my relationship with Him at arm’s length. Although I acknowledged on an intellectual level that God loved me, I never really connected with that truth on a heart level. I did not know it at the time, but I had made a grave error: I had placed my father’s face on the face of God. God, however, was not content to let me be apart from Him in my safe little world and the pain it sought to keep at bay and disguise. He began to completely dismantle this world I had built to protect my heart. One by one He took down the idols I did not even realize I cherished until they

were gone. As a result, I found myself in utter brokenness finally verbalizing something I never thought I would say because it was by now wrapped up in so much personal darkness and shame – my abuse and my struggle with same-sex attraction. Ultimately, I was left absolutely bereft and with more anguish than I could possibly box up as I watched my defenses crumble around me.

That acknowledgment of my feelings from being abused and attracted to the same-sex released a host of emotions from within me. This was, in itself, profoundly unnerving as I had divorced my heart from my head to handle my abuse. I was terrified of what came next. I was extremely ashamed. I was angry beyond measure. I was also caught off guard when I felt a surprising sense of relief.

I did not know who I was anymore. I knew the roles I played in life – wife, mother, daughter, sister, daughter-inlaw, friend, employee – but I did not know who I was. I felt as though I stood on shifting sand. The air around me rippled with eddies and currents of emotion and attraction that I now felt and did not like, nor did I always understand. And underneath it all ran anger, deep and fierce and resentful.

I wondered if it would ever bleed out of me, if there would ever be a day when it was not found at the end of my heart’s journey.

Patiently and persistently, God began to reveal to me that what was behind the anger and same-sex attraction was actually the greater problem at hand. Behind them was all of the hurt and pain I had buried throughout the years – the feelings of worthlessness, of brokenness, of helplessness, of “other than.” They sounded now with a more

Following that afternoon, I continued surviving my abuse in the best way I could, burying the same-sex attraction fast, hard, and deep whenever it reared its head. I spiraled further and further down into depression. At the point of beginning to consider suicide, as a sophomore in college, I became a Christian. Even after that, knowing the gift of God’s grace and mercy in

19

strident beat and I was unable to silence them anymore. I was no longer calm, cool, and collected.

Daily life became an emotional battlefield. I never knew from moment to moment when I was going to step on some hidden landmine and fall apart. I felt a kinship with the character Barbossa in Pirates of the Caribbean: “You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters.”

back to life, how I would find the courage necessary for the journey. I wondered how I would work through the hurt and pain when every day clamored and pulled at me from all sides. I wondered how I would still function in my roles while sifting through the shards of a broken heart and life. I wondered how on earth I would resolve being married to a man and being attracted to women at the same time.

The dark hours of the night when silence filled my home were the worst; yet, it was during one of those nights that I finally reached my breaking point. The deep-seated independence that I had also developed because of my abuse shattered. For the first time in my life as a Christian I could only hope God would hold onto me because I was not strong enough to hold onto Him.

In the beginning I pleaded and wept before God to remove this particular legacy of same-sex attraction from me. I could deal with everything else my abuse wrought in my life, but I did not want to deal with my attractions and I just wanted it gone.

Each time, however, God’s response was no. So, over the next few years I sought out counsel and resources available for a woman like me whose life and sexuality had been marred by abuse. I learned the ins and outs of the legacies left by the abuse I had survived. I learned about the various reasons underpinning my same-sex attraction and the definitive connection between the two. Bottom line, the abuse I suffered broke the connection

In a way I had come full circle back to my salvation experience. I found myself at the end of myself again, only this time I knew what it was that had driven me to desperation.

I could name it and I could feel it. It seemed a cruel mercy. I wondered how I would find my way

between my creation as a female and my identity as a female to the extent that at times I felt like I was two distinct and very different people.

That statement makes it seem so simple but, in reality, the issue was very complex. Through all of this, my husband stood by me, loved me and sought to help my healing in any way he could. He was a living example of the love of Christ.

During this time, Living Hope became a lifeline for me. I was unable to attend the weekly meeting, but I devoured the resources available on the website. I read extensively, especially the books that had been recommended to me by D’Ann Davis who was the women’s ministry director at the time. Concurrently, I worked on recovering from the other aspects of my abuse. God used all of this to give me a solid and deep understanding of the foundations of my same-sex attraction.

Over time I started to connect without fear with the heart of my heavenly Father and discovered the beauty of the gospel at work bringing redemption to a deeply wounded

continued on page 30

God is gracious and I am still learning, still growing.

20 20

Understanding My Sweetheart

By Robert Jacobs

Not everyone involved with Living Hope Ministries struggles with same-sex attraction (SSA). Many simply know someone who does and they long to be a source of godly encouragement for them. Although their loved one acted as the initial motivation for coming to LHM, these friends and family soon discover that God wants to speak to them about their lives as well. This was the case for Don, a man whose wife struggles with SSA.

“I have never before understood what shame was, or what effect it had in my life, let alone how to deal with it in a positive way,” Don recalled. “During the retreat, God opened my eyes to what it really is, the lies of the enemy, and that to live biblically I needed to reject those lies and replace them with truth. That whole idea of identifying the lies I believe and replacing them with truth is pretty much the theme of my life at Living Hope.”

“I found out about Living Hope through my wife,” Don shared. “She went through a period of deep depression and began seeing a counsellor. One day she rather fearfully sat down and shared with me her struggle with SSA. After that, she was introduced to Living Hope and, in turn, introduced me.”

Shortly thereafter, Don began to attend the Living Hope satellite group in Denton, Texas.

In reflecting on the difference that Living Hope has made in his and his family’s life, Don notes that LHM has helped him love his wife well: “Living Hope has given me an opportunity to live out what I am learning about my salvation and to be a blessing to others, my wife in particular. The library of messages that is available on the website has helped me greatly in understanding the struggles faced by my sweetheart.”

IF WE ARE

FAITHLESS,

Rather than creating fear in Don’s heart, the situation was an opportunity to further support his wife: “My wife and I have always had a great relationship and have walked with each other through struggles on both sides. I think I viewed this as just another struggle to face together.”

HE REMAINS FAITHFUL

After attending the weekly meetings, Don found that his understanding of the gospel had grown exponentially.

Through teaching, worship, and small groups, he gained a better grasp of the truths surrounding salvation: “I remember once hearing about a famous Christian teacher, that he ‘never got over’ the fact that Jesus died for his salvation. I want that to be true of me as well, and Living Hope is a big part of helping me to explore all the ramifications of the grace that is ours in Christ.”

When asked if Christ was worthy of our whole heart, life, and mind, Don had this to say: “Most definitely He is! I can’t say that I always live in the light of that truth – all too often my choices don’t seem to line up with that fact. But in my saner moments, I have to say, ‘Yes!’… There is no greater love, no greater joy, no greater cause.”

Don’s refreshing honesty in this answer highlights an important truth. Though our actions don’t always testify to the worthiness of Christ, His worth is not affected by our faithlessness. For as Paul says, “if we are faithless, he remains faithful,” His holiness immutable and unphased by our action (1 Tim 2:13). May we ever strive for our choices to reflect the inherent worthiness of Christ.

Don is the husband of Karen whose story is on pages 17-18. They are happily married and serve as small group leaders for LHM.

One of the events that had the deepest impact on Don was the Living Hope retreat, an annual weekend of teaching, worship, and personal reflection held in the spring. Specifically, the teaching on shame—when placed in the context of Joseph’s story from Genesis—connected together many of the loose threads in Don’s life, including how to better love his wife.

21 21

22

A DIFFERENT G OSPEL The term “gospel” is thrown around a lot these days. In some ways, its familiarity has apparently diluted its true meaning. Once a noun that identified the life, teaching, and work of Jesus for the redemption of mankind, it has now become more an adjective to describe movements, attire, books, community, you name it. Taken from the Greek word euangélion and translated as “good news,” the gospel is indeed the good news of redemption. Good news is, well, good news! It should bring a sense of hope and transformation to those who embrace it fully. The gospel is something that has been boldly proclaimed since Jesus began preaching. Its message is one of change that has radically transformed our world.

lost and needing repentance requires transformation or change. One who is lost is without boundaries, unfamiliar with one’s whereabouts, and in need of finding borders, markers, and truth to rightly give direction. Repentance means that we turn away from whatever we are pursuing to seek something different. Both realities denote transformation and change. Simply, to experience the gospel is to change.

But recently some who claim to know Jesus and believe in his gospel have twisted the message of Christ, asserting that there are parts of our lives that cannot change nor be transformed. They claim that our feelings, and specifically the feeling of being “oriented” sexually toward someone of the same gender, are impossible to change. In fact, one popular proponent of this more “progressive” understanding of the gospel stated plainly, “the gospel has never been about orientation change.”1 I guess that depends on how you would define “orientation,” but I strongly disagree with his lack of focus on transformation.

Embraced initially by a group of rag-a-muffin fishermen and tax collectors who followed a mysteriously born carpenter’s son, the gospel is now preached around the world. Jesus’ radical teaching of amazing grace and complete surrender to God’s lordship in one’s life upended expectations of messianic leadership, ushering in the greatest movement of faith the world has ever experienced. The gospel’s fundamental teachings have liberated men and women, united Gentile and Jew, connected slave and free, established equality between men and women, and influenced the foundations of kingdoms, kings, governments, and religions. The gospel has indeed brought about change because the gospel—at its core—is about change, the greatest change that can happen in a man’s heart, a change from self-serving to God-serving.

"The gospel has indeed brought about change because the gospel—at its core—is about change, the greatest change that can happen in a man’s heart, a change from selfserving to God-serving. "

However, today we live in a world where even the simplicity of good news has been nuanced and twisted into something far less transformational and, therefore, far less good or news. You see, the whole reason God showed up on earth in the form of man was “to seek and save the lost,” (Jn 19:10) and “to call sinners to repentance” (Mk 2:17). Both being

1

By Ricky Chelette, Executive Director

Is Same-Sex Attraction (or “Being Gay”) A Sin?, Pastoral Paper, Dr. Nate Collins and Greg Coles, http://centerforfaith.com. Pg. 10.

23

I believe the Bible teaches that when we experience the gospel, we are new creatures (2 Cor 5:17); we are transformed from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light (Col 1:13; Eph 5:8); we no longer walk in the futility of our minds, laying aside the old self and putting on the new made possible by the gospel (Ep 4:1724; Col 3:9-10; 1 Pet 1:14-15). To think that some aspects of my personhood could, or would, be exempt from the all-penetrating, all-transforming power of the gospel is to limit both the gospel’s power and my enjoyment of the magnanimous blessings God has provided for me through His Son, Jesus. It is akin to getting the keys to a grand mansion but being satisfied with merely camping on the porch.

A gospel which doesn’t advocate the ability to transform our lives and passions completely is not really the gospel at all. their lives; I want to offer them something that is fulfilling and satisfying beyond their wildest imaginations. I don’t want a new “progressive” gospel; I want the gospel Jesus taught, lived, and demonstrated through His death and resurrection. I want the gospel that changed the murderous Saul to Paul, that transformed the denying Peter to evangelist Peter, and that moved demon-possessed Mary to witness Mary proclaiming the resurrection of her Lord!

We must realize that any manifestation the Bible qualifies as sin (e.g., pride, lust, greed, gossip, murder) are all evidence of a fundamental human orientation towards sin (Ps 51; Rm 5:12). From man’s fall in Genesis 3, all mankind is drawn towards sin. The manifestation of that sin is only indicative of the wound, brokenness, or lostness we are trying to medicate with that sin.

Don’t believe a gospel that doesn’t transform you and give you hope for the future. Don’t believe the lies that you won’t, you can’t, or you will never have a change in your feelings, desires, or attractions. Only God holds the future. He knows what you need because He created you. If your desires become His desires, you will find wholeness in Him. Don’t believe another gospel. There is but one. In it is the story of redemption brought about by the God of the universe coming to dwell among His creation, loving them, teaching them, dying on the cross for their sins, being buried and rising from the dead never to die again. That is the gospel all of Christendom has believed. That is the gospel that has changed the world. That is the gospel that will give you hope and change your life. In the words of Jesus, “Repent and believe the gospel!”

Paul's warning to the church in Galatia is an admonition we need heed: “I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel—not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed” (Gal 1:6-7).

A gospel which doesn’t advocate the ability to transform our lives and passions completely is not really the gospel at all. I don’t want to tell people that when they follow Christ, they can only have parts of what God offers; I want them to experience the fullness of Christ. I don’t wish to merely invite people to stop something that is destructive in

24

Sabastian's Story

By Robert Jacobs

What happens to us in our childhood has a profound impact on the rest of our life, and Sabastian’s childhood was no exception. “My father molested me when I was young and my whole family was sexually incestuous,” he shared.

These violations shaped Sabastian and left him in complete denial about his identity and emotions.

They additionally made him feel unloved and disconnected from

his father, a deep wound that he attempted to medicate later in his life by sexually connecting to men. “When I was in college,” he recalled, “I had an affair with one of my professors who was married…he was older than me and I felt like I finally knew how it felt for my father to love me.”

After suffering a traumatic brain injury, Sabastian’s life became

25

increasingly dominated by anxiety, depression, fear, and suicidal ideation. In 2010, he miraculously healed from these severe mental illnesses: “I walked into my apartment when I suddenly heard a voice say, ‘it is not my will for anyone to be lost.’ I asked if it was Jesus, and he said ‘yes.’ I inquired further, ‘Do you love me?’ Again, He said ‘yes.’ Lastly, I asked, ‘Are you telling me that when I die you want

I am at the late season of my life where my walk with Christ has never been more fulfilling than it is now. Not even close. I can finally rest with the conviction that God will never leave or forsake me. me in heaven,’ and he said ‘yes.’ I didn’t know it then, but that was the beginning of a miraculous healing.”

God began to lay the groundwork for sexual healing as well. While attending a new Christian group, Sabastian herd about Living Hope from a couple who had been involved there. They invited him to the annual LHM banquet where he was introduced to the ministry for the first time. But Sabastian still had reservations about attending the Living Hope weekly meetings: “My biggest fear was confidentiality…I didn’t need a place that would be a meat market.” After many assurances of anonymity from his friend and the Living Hope staff, Sabastian decided to give Living Hope a try.

One of the first things that Sabastian noticed about the weekly meetings was the quality of the teaching offered

by Ricky, the LHM Executive Director.

“Up until [I came to Living Hope],” he explained, “I have never heard the word of God preached so effectively in my life, to hear it explained and unfolded like [Ricky] does.”

Through the ministry of LHM, God set the stage for further healing in Sabastian’s life: “LHM was the missing piece of the puzzle for how God was going to heal me. Being here, my struggle is relevant to the people that attend the weekly meetings. I would have no other form of sharing my struggles if it

weren’t for LHM.” He goes on to say “I feel God completed something bringing me to LHM. It wasn’t I was looking for, but God totally surprised me with a deep sense of hope. He is definitely dealing with the roots and strongholds of homosexuality in my life.”

“Even though there are still major issues,” Sabastian commented, “I am amazingly content, and joyful like never before. I am at the late season of my life where my walk with Christ has never been more fulfilling than it is now. Not even close. I can finally rest with the conviction that God will never leave or forsake me.”

When asked about why God is worthy of our whole self—mind, body, and soul—Sabastian passionately responded, “He is infinitely worthy. He left heaven and died for my sins. He loves me unconditionally even when I have been abysmal. He showed me love even though I am not deserving.

What is not worthy about God?” Truer words than these are rarely spoken. God is worthy of all our praise, adoration, and devotion, for he saw our predicament and acted on our behalf to bring healing, wholeness, and restoration to our lives.

Partner Churches LHM is indebted to the prayer and financial support of the following churches: •

First Baptist Church, Arlington, TX

•

The Harbor, Friendswood, TX

•

First Baptist Church Midlothian, TX

•

Alsbury Baptist Church, Burleson, TX

•

Victory Life Church, Battle Creek, MI

•

Denton Bible Church, Denton, TX

•

Fellowship Community Church, Phoenix, AZ

•

Park Cities Presbyterian Church, Dallas, TX

•

Rockpointe Church, Flower Mound, TX

•

Parkway Baptist Church, McKinney, TX

26 26

FINDING HOPE AT THE HOPE HOUSE

By Adam

Two-and-a-half years ago I met Ricky Chelette for the first time. I nervously sat in his office to go through my initial intake to become a participant at Living Hope. I had struggled with same-sex attraction for as long as I could remember, and at that point, I was feeling I would never find a way out. During my intake, Ricky told me that the journey toward healing was going to be the hardest road I’d ever traveled, but that it would be worth it.

At that time, I didn’t believe it possible that I’d ever be where I am today.

Despite my unbelief, a little over a year ago, Ricky and Bruno approached me about becoming the leader of the Hope House, Living Hope’s live-in, year-long discipleship program for men ages 18-26. Their request caught me off guard. Was I really ready to lead such an important portion of the ministry. After much prayer, I accepted, and I have been at the Hope House for a little over a year.

I didn’t believe it possible that I’d ever be where I am today.

Hope House participants get a pretty sweet deal in terms of living arrangements. The house itself is a 6-bedroom fully furnished townhouse.

We can have 5 participants at a time (plus the house leader, me). The guys pay a monthly program fee, which is less than what they would pay in rent for anything comparable. In addition to their housing, their program fee covers their utilities and all the books we study as part of the discipleship curriculum. We all split household duties and work on chores as a team.

There’s no maid or landscaping crew to take care of our messes – physically or

spiritually – so, we take responsibility and put in the work ourselves.

Throughout their year at the Hope House, participants work through six different studies as a group. The first three address spiritual foundations and biblical truths. These studies include topics such as becoming men of God, as well as units on the spiritual disciplines and purity. During the second six-months, participants work through three more studies that address practical issues, preparing each participant to head back out into the “real world” outside of the highly structured Hope House. Topics include financial management, discovering your spiritual gifts for ministry, and developing healthy boundaries in interpersonal relationships.

As the house leader, I take on an operational role, ensuring that the participants complete their assigned tasks and that the house itself is taken care of. I am also there for the participants to be a support and to encourage them as they walk through their different challenges. Throughout a participant’s time in the Hope House, I report back to Ricky and Bruno regarding how they are doing in general, or if there are any specific concerns.

The Hope House is a highaccountability setting. Journaling, mentoring, and discipleship are also part of being in the Hope House.

Participants submit daily journals.

27 27

Additionally, they meet weekly with Living Hope leadership in one-on-one mentoring sessions. We try to have as much accountability with each other as we can while respecting each person’s need for autonomy.

One of my favorite parts of serving as the Hope House leader is best summed up in the mission that Bruno gave to me when I accepted the position. He said, “You’re building a brotherhood among the men living here. You are walking together as brothers through this part of your journey.” In my short time as the Hope House leader, I’ve had the joy of walking with some great men. There have been some amazing highs, and some painful lows, but these men have been well equipped, and they have each demonstrated glimpses of the great things the Lord wants to accomplish through them.

I’ve had the joy of walking with some great men. There have been some amazing highs, and some painful lows, but these men have been well equipped.

If you would like information about the Living Hope Hope House Discipleship Program, please contact info@livehope.org.

2828

By Robert Jacobs

W

hile most people familiar with Living Hope know that we offer support for those who struggle with same-sex attraction and transgenderism, many are not aware that Living Hope also offers extensive training to both churches and other Christian organizations.

Ricky Chelette, Executive Director of Living Hope, believes that this kind of training is an integral component of the ministry’s mission, noting that, with regard to sexuality, the church has “largely taken their cues from the narrative of the culture rather than the reality of the gospel’s power to transform.” In an effort to underscore this foundational aspect of the gospel, Living Hope brings together biblical teaching and the compassion of Christ in its training seminars.

Enoch Chan, Family Pastor for Students at MacArthur Boulevard Baptist Church, commented that Ricky’s “explanation of ... same-sex attraction [was] a powerful tool for the church to possess in interacting with the world.” Having originally heard Ricky speak as a guest lecturer in Dr. Johnny Derouen's course at Southwestern Theological Seminary, Pastor Chan invited Ricky to speak at his church. He admonishes, “I think all churches should invite LHM to come speak and hear their presentation on ... same-sex attraction.

The truth is, the world is talking about this even if you don't want to, so we as God's people have to be informed.”

Daniel E. Panetti, Worldview Director for Prestonwood Christian Academy, shares a similar sentiment: “If you are thinking about connecting with Living Hope Ministries, stop thinking about it and contact them immediately! The confusion over sexuality and gender in our culture only continues to grow and the biblical clarity and compassion that Ricky Chelette and Living Hope Ministries approach these issues with is exactly what people need to hear.”

His presentation broke the barrier that I once had for people struggling with same-sex attraction or who are living in same-sex relationships, [equipping] me to minister to them rather than run from them.

As Pastor Chan and Mr. Panetti both point out, Living Hope attempts to offer clarity and compassion to a topic that has either been swept under the rug or treated with such vitriol as to make any conversation about it something less than redemptive.

Logan Reynolds, Minister for College at First Baptist Church Belton, commented, “Ricky put into words what I have always thought but never understood how to communicate in regard to gender confusion and same-sex attraction. His presentation broke the barrier that I once had for people struggling with same-sex attraction or who are living in samesex relationships, [equipping] me to minister to them rather than run from them.”

Similarly, Doug Bischoff of Houston’s First Baptist Church remarked that the various Living Hope seminars helped to equip people to serve in a confused world: “Ricky has continually provided wisdom and guidance to our staff and parents regarding healthy sexuality. Our church is better informed, our staff is better equipped,

2929

and our parents are better positioned to lead in today’s culture.” He goes on to say, “Our people look forward to having Ricky come and speak – it’s a highlight in our training!”

Though Living Hope is careful to compassionately share the transformative power of the gospel, some find the transformative message of change confusing. As Mr. Panetti warns, “When you bring in Living Hope Ministries, you will have a few naysayers and negative comments, but those negatives will be drowned out by the hundreds of people who will be helped, loved, and supported by this ministry!” Likewise, Senior Pastor for Christ Chapel Bible Church, Ted Kitchens, commented that though people attempt to silence Christians in this area, a former member of the “homosexual community [told him] that the church must not stop preaching and teaching the truth, or the gay community will have no hope at all.”

Dr. Larry Taylor, Head of School at Prestonwood Christian Academy, captured the spirit of the Living Hope training seminars best when he stated, “Ricky…brought a perspective on sexual orientation issues that was personally authentic, biblical, and humble. Not only is this training mix rare, Ricky…presents it in such an engaging way. I highly recommend LHM! They address the issue of our day with such humility and sound teaching--they connect with people on a level I have not witnessed before.”

If you are interested in having Living Hope Ministries speak at your church or Christian organization, please contact us at info@livehope.org

A Sustaining Gospel continued from page 9.

The prophet Jeremiah describes the foolishness of choosing the created over the creator:

For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living water, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that hold no water. – Jer 2:13 This image depicts thirsty people sucking on the sand when free and fulfilling water is at hand. Sin is insane.

Turning from God, who is rich in love and mercy, in order to fill a need to be loved and fulfilled is a folly that destroys men and women everyday. It is categorically insane for man to make war on an all knowing and all-powerful God in the name of temporal pleasures.

I realized I needed something more. I needed something that was sustainable and more than momentary. I needed a shepherd like the Living Hope staff to guide me back to the God of my youth.

Return O faithless children, for I am your master, I will take you one from

a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion. And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding. – Jer 3:14-15 I attended Living Hope with Brock for a year and learned a lot. It was during that time that I became reacquainted with a young lady. It quickly became my opinion that she was a very unique creature. All I knew at the time was that I simply enjoyed being in her presence and, thankfully, she enjoyed being in mine. She was then and is now a kind, soft, and fiercely loyal golden beauty.

I informed Samantha three weeks into our dating relationship about my past, but she decided to take a chance on me. We began to date February of 2012 and were engaged at one year to the day. In the summer of 2013, we got married and moved up to Dallas. At that time, I began attending Living Hope at the Arlington campus.

Living Hope continued to preach and minister to me as I assumed the

duties and role of husband. The gospel wisdom and candid relationships cultivated within this ministry are invaluable. Living Hope is nearly singular in its mission to preach the Gospel to those who struggle with same-sex attraction. I am constantly thunderstruck by this ministry’s capacity to pull people from all across the globe toward Jesus Christ.

Fast forward to today. My wife and I have been married for five years. Last year we welcomed our first child into the family, a little boy. Marriage and children are always a deep blessing, particularly in my case. There was a time in my life when I thought that this future was a categorical impossibility, but I was wrong. I still make it out to Living Hope when life allows. Living Hope has helped guide me through some of the darkest days of my life. It is a precious resource and has never been more needed.

Finding Karen Admist Confusion continued from page 18. inner life. I began to grasp the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:10 where Paul recounts his experience with God’s answer of no – “I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

In the end, I needn’t have wondered about how I was going to survive the journey because the God who so faithfully loved me did not abandon me in the wilderness. He had already given me my husband and now He walked with me through the entirety of the journey bringing me to Living Hope and every other resource I needed.

As He did so, He exposed the lies embedded in my belief system because

of my abuse and taught me the truth – about Him, about His heart, about mine, and about my sexuality.

He used Living Hope to teach me that healing was not the absence of struggle and temptation that I so desperately wanted. Rather, it was the honest acknowledgment of the struggle and in the moment of its assault, choosing Christ. And when I stumbled, it was running to the cross in absolute dependence on the gospel for forgiveness and a fresh start. For me, this was a life-altering body of truth.

God is gracious and I am still learning, still growing. I have learned that my abuse and the struggle with same-sex attraction do not define me.

It is all a part of me, but it does not define me, and it keeps me tethered closely to Him. He is in the process

30

of restoring to me that which was lost through abuse and enabling me to be at home with myself as a female/ feminine being, seeing it as good and embracing my sexuality as it was intended to be.

The journey and the pain that seemed to curl around my heart like tendrils of smoke from a fire has been worth it. Life as an abuse survivor who struggles with same-sex attraction is still a struggle at times. The old way of believing continues to try and rear its head, but now I know it for what it is. It is a lie and I am no longer its prisoner. I know the truth and it has set me free. He has set me free. He is completely worthy of all I can give Him – for all my life, here on earth and throughout eternity.

HOW CAN LIVING HOPE MINISTRIES HELP YOU?

Living Hope Ministries offers a variety of services to help those who struggle with relational brokenness and homosexuality, as well as support for those who love someone who struggles in these areas.

Online Support LHM offers the world’s largest, FREE, moderated, online support forums, open 24/7. You must complete an application online and be approved to participate. Our online support mirrors our in-house offerings.

Support Groups We offer FREE weekly support groups for: • Men • Women • Young Adults (up to 26) • Friends and Family • Wives of men with same-sex attractions

Education LHM offers free education to churches, universities, seminaries, and communities on understanding homosexuality and gender development as well as how to have a Christ-like, redemptive response to those who are struggling with their sexuality. We also have teachings on sexual addiction, masculinity, femininity, raising genderhealthy children, and a host of customizable teachings on sexual and relational wholeness. For more information or to book one of our staff, please call or email info@livehope.org.

These meetings are confidential and a person must go through an intake interview prior to attending the group.

Intakes can be arranged by calling our office at 817-4592507, Monday - Friday, 10a-6p or by emailing us at info@ livehope.org. We offer groups at the following campuses: • Arlington, TX • Denton, TX • Friendswood, TX

Hope House The Hope House is a one-year, high accountability discipleship house designed for men ages 18-26 who are seeking sexual and relational wholeness. See page 27 for a full explanation. Contact info@livehope.org for an application.

See our website for contact info and for specific group offerings at each campus. If there is no location near you, we duplicate all these groups online through our online support ministry.

Retreat Retreats are concentrated times of exploration, examination, worship, and fellowship. In the midst of God’s creation, individuals are encouraged to experience God in deep and personal ways. Worship, Bible study, and teaching are parts of these red-letter events.

Mentoring Pastoral mentoring/counseling is offered on a limited basis for those with same sex attractions or their family members.

You must call or email for an appointment.

Online Resources

Participants must be active members of LHM in house or online to participate, and must agree to the conduct and confidentiality agreements of Living Hope Ministries.

The annual LHM retreat is Friday through Sunday in Texas in the Spring.

Visit our website for articles, testimonies, resources, and products at www.livehope.org. You can also download our free, Living Hope Ministries app for all platforms. And don't forget to download our free, weekly PodCast - called "HopeCast" - available on all platforms.

31 31

32