Strange Tales

Strange Tales by Anton Valdemart

Guessing Games

Lana liked to tease with her mischievous sense of humour flling all aspects of her life which family and friends accepted and enjoyed. There was nothing malicious in her pranks and games. All – or nearly all – saw it as part of her charm, even Ollie. Oliver Bradstock was her long-suffering husband. They met at university and set up an advertising company in a small rented ofce. It soon expanded into a successful operation employing a dozen people producing all types of promotional material. Lana’s teasing, often odd, sense of humour helped with the business. She was good at slogans – rodent controllers Scamper & Hyde got a lot of business with We Smell a Rat! Ollie burst out laughing as the woman turned and walked out the ofce. “That was a brilliant stunt you pulled today,” he told Lana later. “I loved the red hair and heavy makeup – I hardly recognised you.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Lana, for once not seeing the joke. It resulted in a row. “To think I could do such a thing,” she protested with a scowl. A few weeks later Ollie was on a train heading for London. He was gently nodding off when two soft hands covered his eyes. He turned around: “I’m Madge and I think we could go places honey,” said the now familiar voice. This time she winked theatrically before disappearing. Puzzled, Ollie decided not to tell Lana. He didn’t want another row.

Not everyone shared her sense of humour. For example, undertakers Rigg & Mortis rejected We Beat All Stiff Competition. Lana’s ofce often fzzed with laughter as the ideas few around. She organised sessions called Guessing Games. Clients were asked to submit artworks from company fles. Lana held these up at random for the team to shout out ideas – it quickly produced results. One day in late summer Ollie was alone in the ofce. Several staff were on holiday while others were on the road on various projects. The large ofce overlooked a rather untidy yard. Ollie was staring into space when, without warning, two soft hands covered his eyes. “Guess who?” said a teasing, vaguely familiar, voice. The hands withdraw and he looked around. “I’m Madge and I think we could go places honey,” she said in a broad American accent. He spent a busy day in London, walking between several ofces around Westminster and Trafalgar Square. Once he thought he saw a familiar redhead. Ollie caught the last train and spent an uneventful journey home. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he arrived at Lime Street Station. There was a huge poster next to the clock. A red-headed woman in thick makeup was smiling out above the slogan: “I’m Madge and I think we could go places, honey.” A woman rushed down the platform to greet him, pulled off her red wig and hugged him. “Happy anniversary darling – surprise! surprise!” said Lana.

read my next Strange Tale in the Link: The Straight and Narrow.