Strange Tales

Ghostly Garb

Annette and Grizelda loved rooting about in charity shops, constantly searching for bargains or unusual items. “Not again,” said Grizelda’s long-suffering husband Monty. “More dead men’s trousers.”

The sisters had definite ideas about the garb they were looking for.

Annette bought and wore 1950s fashions while Grizelda went in for anything from the 80s. One day they could not resist changing into their purchases at the back of the charity shop and walking confidently home. Monty was unimpressed: “She looks like your mother,” he told Grizelda.

“We’ve got something really special in,” volunteer assistant Louella said later at their favourite shop. “Came in yesterday and I’ve been keeping them especially for you.” Louella showed them the contents of a large crocodile skin suitcase on a side table - a red top coat, knee breeches, boots, top hat, gloves and glasshandled cane. Annette and Grizelda were speechless as they carefully and lovingly handled the ancient clothes. “They came from a big house near the woods, “ said Louella. “The man said he thought they dated from the 1830s - not a mark on them. In fact, they could be new. “Apparently, they were left behind when his ancestor went down on a schooler wrecked in Liverpool Bay.” “They will be ideal for our dramatic society, “ said Grizelda. The purchase was fortuitous because the Picton Players were rehearsing their latest offering - an original Regency drama.

by Anton Valdemart

The dress rehearsal went well, with Hubert Horridge, an undertaker, taking the part of Regency buck Sir Randolph Dashalong wearing the charity shop clothing. He looked dashing in the red coat and breeches. “The top hat is appropriate as I wear one at work,” said Hubert. The day of the premiere soon arrived and the audience - mostly made up of friends and relativesfilled the church hall.

The big red curtain was about to go up when the producer Irene was summoned to Hubert’s dressing room. He was in his colourful robe, eyes staring and teeth chattering.

“I can’t go on,” he stammered, sweat covering his contorted face, normally so calm and collected. “Stage fright,” Irene muttered to herself. There was further consternation when Jason, Hubert’s understudy, could not find Sir Randolph’s charity shop costume.

Too late - the curtain went up, greeted by applause from the waiting audience. To the cast’s astonishment, an unknown someone - or something - took Sir Randolph’s part. He was word-perfect and the costume fitted like a glove. Other cast members noticed a faint smell of seawater as he strode around the stage. The surprise cast member could not be found between scenes yet the show went on. The closing scene featured a terrible storm with an unrehearsed crashing of scenery filling the stage just as the curtains closed. Two empty boots stuck out from under the rubble - the unknown player had disappeared. “Whoever or whatever he was, he certainly brought the house down,” said Irene.

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