Memories From Joyce Widdis

Looking back, I didn’t realise how a lot of sayings in our house when I was a bairn were animal, insect and bird related: The cat that got the cream. She thinks she’s the cats whiskers. I’m gonna see a man about a dog. ‘Eee, what we gonna call it dad?’ Like a bear with a sore heed. Swims like a sh. They were gannin’ at a snails pace. She thinks she’s the bees knees (I’ve never seen a bees knees!) Like a dog with two tails. Timid as a mouse. Teeth like a rabbit (or tombstones) Has the cat got your tongue? ‘Wor Joycey can tark the hind leg off a donkey’. (I was constantly told this one, can’t think why!) Stubborn as a mule. Like a red rag to a bull. Following like sheep. ‘and no monkey business’. Like a rat up a drainpipe. As slow as a tortoise. Someone bandy legged, ‘Whey, he couldn’t stop a pig in a passage’ (hope it wasn’t the back passage!) Like a sh out of water (probably one that was won at the shows or from the Ragman for your rags).. ‘You’re like a plague of locusts’ (always said at teatime). Up with the larks. ‘You can talk until the cows come home, it won’t make any difference’. Like locking the stable door once the horse had bolted. Like a cat with nine lives. As thick as bull’s lugs. He was as bald as a badger. ‘Who’s SHE, the cats mother’? ‘Tell tale tit, your tongue will be split and all the little dickie birds will have a little bit’. You can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Like bees around a honey pot. Fit as a ee. Blind as a bat. Eyes like a hawk. Sly as a fox. As busy as a bee.. … and nally, a strange one this, Why keep a dog and bark yourself?