LOVING

Poem by Sebastian Isaacs

YOU WON’T LET HIM LOVE YOU WITHOUT WONDERING WHY HE CHOSE YOU, BUT HE WILL CHOOSE YOU EVERY DAY, AND HE WILL CHOOSE YOU EVERY NIGHT. YOU’LL BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU, YOU’LL TWIST AWAY FROM THE BOY WHO COMBS YOUR HAIR WHEN YOU CRY IN NIGHTMARES AND IN THE WAKE OF YOU. YOU’LL POINT A BLADE AT THE BOY WHO HOLDS YOU DURING EVERY STORM, IN LIFE, IN DEATH, AD ASTRA. YOU TAKE THE LOVE YOU THINK YOU DESERVE, BUT CAN’T YOU SEE THE TRUTH? HE HAS NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU, HE HAS NEVER STOPPED CHOOSING YOU.

Waterloo, KY

Poem by Sebastian Isaacs

Fog rolls over the corn fields as we drive in his low-rider watching the sun as it rises on the horizon before us; watching morning dew slide off his windshield when he’s whipping through the interstate.

And we’re all silent; as if we have nothing left to say to each other, but everything stays. Details about last night and the rest of our lives and how they change trajectories right before us. Are we ready to continue changing?

I don’t have to go with him but I can’t stay here, my mind still clinging to the scent of some suburban city soil and pepper plants. I can smell the comfort in the wind from my childhood bedroom window; here, the air smells different when it’s blasting in through the sunroof.

The dust is heavier in Kentucky. It settles in my stomach like reverse hunger pangs I’m so full, I feel nauseous, I’m nauseating to look at. What do I do with my shaking hands? My legs won’t stop moving; I never thought I would see them spreading for another boy. But here I am, this time am I ready to start?

Or am I only just scared of being left behind in the past, where I can always visit take a day trip in my mind but everyone else moves on without me.

All my life I have only ever been moving on to keep up; It'll only take a moment to revel in the sunrise glowing pink and bright in the sky, over the stone slab wall we sit upon with swinging legs as we look down at the world that sits below us.

Now, I would like to stay right here forever, but the sky is only pink for a few minutes then I am expected to move on and embrace my future, albeit unknown. Change always accompanies me.