1 minute read
Sex Confessions
from February 2020
Next Article
“We were making out and taking each other’s clothes off. Everything was good until he touched my [breasts]… then he literally came all over me. It was hella awkward.”
—Deleting Tinder Forever
“She said her ex’s name right before she came. Wasn’t ideal for our first anniversary.”
—Can’t Bone Like Brad Apparently
“Going at it pretty hard. Slipped, fell off the bed, separated my shoulder. Finished though.”
—Determined
“When I was in high school, my then-boyfriend and I did it in the pool while we were drunk and he threw the condom away in the backyard. Before I could get it in the morning, I woke up to What is THIS? And my mom shaking me, with the condom in her hand."
—R.I.P.
Confessions
“During my gap year, I was hooking up with a girl and she screamed at the top of her lungs right before I came. There was a massive spider on the wall, and I cried trying to kill it.”
—I Hate Spiders
“Once, I was in a guy’s car and he handed me a towel. It was the same one he used when he took his dog to the beach. We never spoke again.”
—Not a Dog
“I came home at 3AM to see my flatmate [screwing] some girl on the living room couch. I have to walk past the couch to get my bedroom. Didn’t see them but saw his butt cheeks and thought nope and ran to my friend’s house!"
—Looking For a New Roommate
