Healthy Relationships

H E A LT H Y R E L AT I O N S H I P S Growing the Fruit of the Spirit in Our Lives

MARK EVANS AND GREG KIRKSEY

H E A LT H Y R E L AT I O N S H I P S Growing the Fruit of the Spirit in Our Lives

MARK EVANS AND GREG KIRKSEY

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Copyright 2017 The Church at Rock Creek ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Copyright and use of the curriculum template is retained by Brett Eastman.

Unless otherwise noted, all scripture quotes are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 and 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 978-1-945589-77-5 Printed in the United States of America

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CONTENTS Introduction Using This Workbook (Read This First) Outline for Each Session

4 6 6

SESSIONS Session One: Love Session Two: Joy and Peace Session Three: Patience Session Four: Kindness and Goodness Session Five: Faithfulness Session Six: Gentleness and Self-Control

8 18 28 38 48 58

APPENDICES FAQs 68 Life Group Agreement 69 Life Group Calendar 71 Memory Verse Cards (Clip and Review) 72

LIFEGROUP LEADERS Hosting an Open House Leading for the First Time Leadership Training 101 Prayer and Praise Report Life Group Roster

74 75 76 78 79

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INTRODUCTION As an adult, it’s always inspiring and important to stay rooted in God’s Word. No matter what walk of life you might come from, God’s Word has relevance for your life today.

As a parent, one of the earliest things we did for our children was to help them learn scripture. Even as infants, we would read, watch, and learn scripture together. One of our favorite songs we taught our kids was one entitled, “The Fruit of the Spirit”, which was simply scripture (Galatians 5:22-23) set to music.

One of the things I had never actually memorized was the fruits of the Spirit, I am ashamed to say. Yes, like so many, I had read the passage a million times over the course of my life, but had never memorized them. So, in learning this song, together with my children, we were able to learn and memorize the fruits of the Spirit.

It’s funny, but as time has passed and my children are now practically grown and embarking on new eras in their own lives, I can still remember sitting with a little red-headed boy and blond-headed girl and singing, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

What I have hoped and prayed for them, as well as myself, is that these fruits, as we go through our lives, will become greater and more evident. In doing so, this will show others Who we belong to, and that He is at work in our lives.

So in this study, we will be looking at the “Fruit of the Spirit” and how they should be multiplying in our lives, and in doing so, how they affect our relationships with others. God wants us to be in relationship with others; others who know Christ, and most definitely, those who do not know Christ. The former, because relationships with other Christians help us grow. The latter, because we are to be salt and light to a world that needs hope, and that hope is Christ.

I trust that as you study these “fruits”, that the Holy Spirit will challenge and surprise you as He shows you things about yourself, about others and mostly, about God that will make your walk with Christ deeper, your understanding of the Holy Spirit greater, and for those who are searching for hope, it will give you the answers you have searched for, for so long.

Be Blessed!

Russ Holmes Small Groups Pastor The Church at Rock Creek

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USING THIS WORKBOOK 1. Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: (1) Sessions; (2) Appendices; and (3) Life Group Leaders. Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will be used in the sessions themselves.

2. If you are leading or co-leading a Life Group, the section “Life Group Leaders” will give you tips for effective leadership, encourage you, and help you avoid a few common obstacles.

3. Use this workbook as a guide, not a straitjacket. If the group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the Life Group Leaders section.

4. Enjoy your Life Group experience.

5. Pray before each session—for your group members, for your time together, for wisdom and insights.

6. Read the Outline for each session on the next pages so you understand how the sessions will flow.

OUTLINE OF EACH SESSION A typical group session for the Healthy Relationships study will include the following sections. Read through this to get a clear idea of how each group meeting will be structured:

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WEEKLY MEMORY VERSES. Each session opens with a Memory Verse that emphasizes an important truth from the session. This is an optional exercise, but we believe memorizing scripture is a powerful way to grow spiritually. We encourage you to give this important habit a try. The verses for each session are also listed in the appendix on page 72.

INTRODUCTION. Each lesson opens with a brief thought that will help you prepare for the session and get you thinking about that week’s topic. Make it a practice to read these before the session. You may want to have the group read them aloud.

SHARE YOUR STORY. The foundation for spiritual growth is an intimate connection with God and His family. You build that connection by sharing your story with a few people who really know you and who earn your trust. This section includes some simple questions to get you talking—letting you share as much or as little of your story as you choose.

HEAR GOD’S STORY. In this section, you’ll read the Bible and listen to teaching in order to hear God’s story—and begin to see how His story aligns with yours. When the study directs you to, you’ll watch a short teaching segment on video. You’ll then have an opportunity to read a passage of scripture and discuss both the teaching and the text. The goal isn’t to accumulate information, but to apply the insights from scripture to your daily life.

STUDY NOTES. This brief section provides additional commentary, background, or insights on the passage you’ve studied or on some aspect of the video teaching.

CREATE A NEW STORY. In this section, you’ll have an opportunity to go beyond Bible study to biblical living. This section will also have a question or two that will challenge you to live out your faith by serving others, sharing your faith, or worshiping God. FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY. If you have time and want to dig deeper into more Bible passages about the topic, we’ve provided additional passages and questions. You can use them during the meeting or as homework. Your group may choose to read and prepare before each meeting in order to cover more biblical material. Or, group members can use the additional study section during the week after the meeting. If you prefer not to do study homework, this section will provide you with plenty to discuss within the group. These options allow individuals or the whole group to expand their study while still accommodating those who can’t do homework or are new to your group.

DAILY DEVOTIONS. Each week on the “Daily Devotions” pages, we provide scriptures to reflect on between sessions. This provides you with a chance to slow down, read just a small portion of scripture each day, and pray through it. You’ll then have a chance to journal your response to what you’ve read. Use this section to seek God on your own throughout the week. This time at home should begin and end with prayer. Don’t get in a hurry; take enough time to hear from God and talk to him!

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SESSION 1

LOVE “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

Galatians 5:25

If you’ve ever planted a vegetable garden, you understand the principles of growth: seeds are buried in the dirt where they die and crack open to become sprouts, those sprouts emerge from the dirt into sunlight and fresh air, and – over time – those fledgling blooms grow into healthy plants full of tomatoes or cucumbers or peppers.

The same is true in our spiritual lives. When you become a Christian you die to yourself, receive new life, and – over time – grow into a healthy disciple of Jesus who becomes more like Him each day.

Of course, we don’t suddenly produce edible fruit and vegetables as evidence of our growing lives; instead, we grow in significant aspects of our character and maturity. Today we’ll start by looking at what it means for the Holy Spirit work in us this way, and we’ll focus on love as the foundation of a fruitful life.

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SHARE YOUR STORY Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

- What brought you here? What do you hope to get out of this group?

- What’s your favorite song about love?

What is its core message?

LEADER NOTES - If your group is new, welcome newcomers. Introduce everyone – you may even want to have name tags for this first meeting.

- Open your group with a brief prayer asking God for insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

- Before you start this first meeting, get contact information for every participant. Take time to pass around a copy of the Life Group Roster on page 79 or a blank sheet of paper. Ask someone to make copies or type up a list with everyone’s information and email it to the group during the week.

- Whether your group is new or ongoing, it’s always important to review your values. On page 69 is a Life Group Agreement with important values for sustaining healthy, balanced groups. Choose one or two of these values – ones you haven’t previously focused on or have room to grow in – to emphasize during this study.

- The Life Group Calendar on page 71 is a tool for planning who will host and lead each meeting. Consider rotating hosts and leaders and take a few minutes to plan future meetings.

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WAT C H T H E D V D Use the Notes space provided below to record your thoughts and questions as well as the things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and start the conversation.

NOTES

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HEAR GOD’S STORY Read John 15:1-5.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

- Why do you think God prunes the parts of our lives that are already fruitful?

- What does it mean to “remain” in Christ?

- Why do we require connection with God in order to grow? How much can we expect to grow if we distance ourselves from Him?

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STUDY NOTES Take a few minutes and reflect on these verses from 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter” that Pastor Mark read from during today’s teaching.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

As the team talked about in today’s video, the word for love used here is “agape,” which means the self-sacrificing love God has for us. Re-read this description of love and consider how God loves you this way. How has God been patient and kind with you? How has He protected you? How does He seek your best? Then discuss how the example of this perfect love from our Father can encourage us as we strive to love others.

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C R E AT I N G A NEW STORY In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned.

- How is spiritual growth different from trying to be “good”? What is our responsibility in the process?

What’s the Spirit’s responsibility?

- Respond to the list of fruit from Galatians 5. Do you find it overwhelming to think of growing in all of these areas? Or do you find it encouraging to know the Spirit wants to help you grow this way?

- Why are relationships so important to spiritual growth?

- How do we choose love as an action even when we don’t feel loving?

- Take a look at the Circles of Life diagram and write the names of two or three people you know who need to know Christ. Commit to praying for God’s guidance and an opportunity to share with each of them. Would they be open to joining the group?

Share your lists with the group so you can all be praying for the people you’ve identified.

- This week how will you interact with the Bible? Can you commit to spending time in the Daily Devotions? Tell the group how you plan to follow Jesus this week, and then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress and challenges.

- Give each person an opportunity to share prayer requests. If you’d like, you can write these on the Prayer and Praise report on page 78.

- Close your meeting with prayer.

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FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

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Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own. Jot down your reflections in a journal or in this study guide.

You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

Read Psalm 1.

- What does it mean “to delight in” the Lord?

- What fruit do people produce when they are rooted in God? - According to this psalm, what is the difference between those who live for God and those who do not?

Read 1 John 4:7-12.

- How do our lives reveal our relationship with God? - How does this passage define what it means to love?

- What does it mean for God’s love to be made complete in us?

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D A I LY D E V O T I O N A L S Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Read Colossians 3:14

Read 2 Corinthians 3:18

Read Colossians 2:6-7

“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”

Reflect:

Reflect:

Remember, the goal of spiritual growth is not to make God love you more (not possible!) or impress others (not important!).

The goal is to become more and more like Him.

What does it mean to be “rooted” in Christ? Does this describe your life?

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Reflect: Every part of our walk with God begins and ends with love. How does maturing in love bring unity to the other ways we’re growing?

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Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Read 1 John 4:13.

Read Psalm 92:12-13.

“This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.”

“The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God.”

Use the following space to reflect on what you learned this week and what God is saying to you.

Reflect: Spiritual growth can be difficult and time-consuming, and it’s easy to get discouraged.

However, scripture promises that if we have chosen to follow Jesus, He does live in us and He is working in our lives!

Reflect:

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Ask God to help you apply what you’ve learned this week, and ask for wisdom about how you can grow more deeply and flourish in your faith.

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SESSION 2

JOY AND PEACE “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Philippians 4:4

In their book “The Upside of Your Dark Side”, authors Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener report that people would be willing to pay $79 for a moment of pure happiness. The same study said people would pay $44 for “calm tranquility,” $106 to avoid regret, and $113.55 for love.

At that rate, this study is a bargain—because today we’re going to learn how we can actually find real joy and lasting peace. These experiences aren’t for sale and they’re not even external circumstances we can chase after; instead, joy and peace are character traits we develop with the Holy Spirit’s help because of the choices we make. Today, we’ll take a closer look at what it means to grow in joy and peace and how we can develop these priceless fruit in our own lives.

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SHARE YOUR STORY Open your group with a brief prayer asking God for insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

Then begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking: - Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?

- Share three things you’re grateful for.

- In the last session we asked you to write some names in the Circles of Life diagram. Who did you identify as the people in your life who need to meet Jesus? Go back to the Circles of Life diagram on page 13 to help you think of various people you come in contact with on a regular basis; people who need to know Jesus more deeply. Consider ideas for action and make a plan to follow through on one of them this week.

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WAT C H T H E D V D Use the Notes space provided below to record your thoughts and questions as well as the things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and start the conversation.

NOTES

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HEAR GOD’S STORY Read James 1:2-4.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

- It’s a difficult challenge to consider our trials as opportunities for joy! Why does this passage command this perspective?

- How does testing produce perseverance?

- What is the “work” of perseverance?

- How will we grow (and develop spiritual fruit) if we live this way?

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STUDY NOTES In the video, Pastor Mark read from Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Focusing your thoughts on these things may be a new discipline for you, and even those of us who have practice in this area have plenty of ways we can improve! This week, on several different days, take a few minutes to consider things that fit in each of these categories and then bring your mind back to these thoughts during moments of anxiety or frustration. Next week, share your experience with the group!

True things:

_________

Noble things:

_________

Right things:

_________

Pure things:

_________

Lovely things:

_________

Admirable things:

_________

Excellent things:

_________

Praiseworthy things: _________

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C R E AT I N G A NEW STORY In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned.

- What is the difference between joy and happiness?

- What are some choices you can make or action steps you can take to move toward joy and peace?

- How do your thoughts influence your attitudes and your feelings?

- What are some “certainties” from God that you can hold on to?

- Here are some simple ways to connect with God. Tell the group which ones you plan to try this week, and talk about your progress and challenges when you meet next time.

- Prayer. Commit to personal prayer and daily connection with God. You may find it helpful to write your prayers in a journal.

- Daily Devotions. The Daily Devotions provided in each session offer an opportunity to read a short Bible passage five days a week during the course of our study. Take time to read carefully and reflect on the passage. Write down your insights about what you read each day. Copy a portion of scripture on a card and tape it somewhere in your line of sight, such as your car’s dashboard or the bathroom mirror. Or text it to yourself! Think about it when you sit at red lights or while you’re eating a meal. Reflect on what God is saying to you through these words. On the sixth day summarize what God has shown you throughout the week.

- Give each person an opportunity to share prayer requests. If you’d like, you can write these on the Prayer and Praise report on page 78.

- Close your meeting with prayer.

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FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY 24

Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own. Jot down your reflections in a journal or in this study guide.

You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

Read Hebrews 12:1-3.

- Consider this passage in light of this week’s reminder that we are to keep our focus on God. What are some ways you can “fix your eyes” on Jesus?

- What is the joy that Christ anticipated? (verse 2) - How do these verses encourage you in your own spiritual journey?

Read John 14:1-4.

- How does verse one reinforce the idea that we must choose peace?

- In that culture, a bridegroom would go to prepare a place to stay before he could return for his bride. How does Jesus use this analogy?

- Why can we trust Jesus?

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D A I LY D E V O T I O N A L S Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Read James 1:17

Read Proverbs 10:28

Read Isaiah 26:3

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

“The prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing.”

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

Reflect: We can trust God to help us grow in joy, peace, and every other good fruit because He has promised it – and He does not change!

Reflect: A prospect is something sure, but a hope isn’t always grounded in reality. Reflect on the idea that righteousness makes joy a “sure thing.”

Reflect: Spend a few minutes today quieting your mind and focusing on reasons you can trust God. Ask for His perfect peace in your life.

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Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Read 2 Corinthians 10:5

Read Romans 15:13

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Use the following space to reflect on what you learned this week and what God is saying to you.

Reflect:

Reflect:

What does it mean to take our thoughts captive? How can this lead to greater joy and peace?

What does this verse say about our part of pursuing joy and peace? What does God promise us that He will do?

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SESSION 3

PATIENCE “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

You’ve probably heard that “patience is a virtue,” but our culture actually values impatience and immediate gratification. Whether we’re waiting for our mechanic to give us an update on our car, for the baby to finally fall asleep, or for that miracle diet to take off ten pounds, we want results NOW – not eventually.

However, as we continue our study of the fruits of the Spirit, the Bible clearly lists patience – or “forbearance” – as one of the key character traits God wants to develop in us. This week we’ll look at why this fruit is so important, how we can work with God to develop it, and how to be….well…..patient as He helps us grow.

Isaiah 40:30-31

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SHARE YOUR STORY Open your group with a brief prayer asking God for insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

Then begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking: - What’s something you have trouble waiting for, or a situation in which you struggle to be patient?

- Share briefly about someone in your life who has been patient with you, and how that helped you grow as a person.

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WAT C H T H E D V D Use the Notes space provided below to record your thoughts and questions as well as the things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and start the conversation.

NOTES

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HEAR GOD’S STORY Read James 5:7-11.

“Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!”

“Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.”

- How does verse 7 reinforce the idea of patience as a process?

- We grow in patience through relationships. Are we allowed to complain about others while we wait?

- How are the prophets an example of patient waiting?

- How does it change your experience of waiting and growing in patience to know that God is compassionate and merciful?

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STUDY NOTES In 2013, The Atlantic Monthly reported on the popularity of “slow TV.” The article begins: It all started in 2009, with a seven-hour train trip from Oslo to Bergen. Bergensbanen, a live broadcast of the voyage by NRK, Norway’s public broadcasting company, followed the train as it chugged through dark tunnels, snowcovered mountains, and misty valleys. More than 1 million Norwegians, a good 20 percent of the country’s population, tuned in to watch.

Since then, “slow TV” has become a staple of Norwegian public broadcasting. In 2011, more than half the country watched a cruise ship’s 134-hour journey up Norway’s west coast. Earlier this year, NRK broadcast 18 hours of salmon swimming upstream. Two new epics aired this fall, one showing 100 hours of chess played by the Norwegian grand master Magnus Carlsen, and another offering a “sheep to sweater” view of knitting: four hours of discussion followed by eight and a half hours of sheep-shearing, thread-spinning, and needle-clacking.

The piece then goes on to explain that many Norwegians like these programs because they can relax, pay attention to details, and enjoy a process in real-time. “All other TV is just speeding up, and we want to break with that,” says Lise-May Spissøy, who produced the knitting project. “We want to allow people to finish their sentences.”

Interestingly, Netflix recently started airing seven of these SlowTV broadcasts, and many people in our busy, shortattention-span American culture are watching. Perhaps patience is not only a virtue, but a human need.

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C R E AT I N G A NEW STORY In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned.

- How does patience demonstrate submission to God? - Respond to the insight that patience isn’t just about waiting, but waiting well. What are some ways you can choose to “wait well”?

- How has God been patient with you? How does this encourage you to show patience to others?

- What steps will you take this week to grow in your relationship with God? If you’ve focused on prayer in past weeks, maybe you’ll want to direct your attention to scripture this week. If you’ve been reading God’s Word consistently, perhaps you’ll want to take it deeper and try memorizing a verse.

Tell the group what you plan to try this week, and talk about your progress and challenges when you meet next time.

- Give each person an opportunity to share prayer requests. If you’d like, you can write these on the Prayer and Praise report on page 78.

- Close your meeting with prayer.

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FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

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Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own. Jot down your reflections in a journal or in this study guide.

You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

Read 1 Timothy 1:15-17.

- How could Paul call himself “the worst” of all sinners?

- Why did God show mercy and grace to Paul?

- How can your story be a testimony to others?

Read 2 Peter 3:8-9.

- What does it mean for a day to be like a thousand years, or a thousand years to be like a day? Do you find this thought encouraging or discouraging?

- Why do we understand “slowness” the way we do?

- Why might God be causing some of our waiting?

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D A I LY D E V O T I O N A L S Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Read Psalm 27:13-14

Read Ephesians 4:2

Read James 1:19-20

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

Reflect: Sometimes it’s difficult to keep the faith when our circumstances are painful. As we start this week, spend some time reflecting on God’s goodness and asking him for the faith to be strong.

Reflect: Wow, this is a high standard! Ask God to help you show patience by forbearing with those around you.

Reflect: Several people on today’s video shared that their impatience tends to manifest itself in their words. Is this something you struggle with? How can you become slow to speak but quick to listen?

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36

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Read Micah 7:7

Read 1 Peter 1:6-7

“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.”

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

Use the following space to reflect on what you learned this week and what God is saying to you.

Reflect: What joy in knowing that God hears us, even though he seems far away. How do you need to change your perspective so you can watch for him in hope?

Reflect: Trials are temporary, but the faith and maturity they create in us last for a lifetime—and beyond!

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37

SESSION 4

KINDNESS AND GOODNESS “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

“Kind” and “good” seem like such weak words. As children we’re often told to be good for the babysitter or be kind to our schoolmates – which often means to simply be quiet or obey the teacher! There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but surely the Fruit of the Spirit isn’t just being “nice.”

As we’ll learn today, kindness and goodness are actually powerful character traits that reflect God’s heart. Just as God is good to us and kind to us, we demonstrate God to others when we look for ways to bless others with our words, our actions, and our attitudes. The Holy Spirit definitely wants to do more than just make us likeable; He wants to make us like Jesus.

Galatians 6:9

38

SHARE YOUR STORY Open your group with a brief prayer asking God for insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

Then begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking: - Share about a time someone has gone out of the way to show you kindness.

- What have you been learning in your Daily Devotions so far?

- Take some time for each person to share about how they’re doing on the challenge of inviting the people on the Circles of Life to church or your Life Group. What specific conversations are you praying about for the weeks to come?

39

WAT C H T H E D V D Use the Notes space provided below to record your thoughts and questions as well as the things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and start the conversation.

NOTES

40

HEAR GOD’S STORY Read Ephesians 2:4-9.

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

- How were we dead in our transgressions before Christ? How are we now alive in Him? - List the ways we are blessed, according to these verses, because of God’s kindness to us.

- Why is it so important to remember we are saved by grace?

- Respond to the idea that God not only calls you to do good, but He’s created opportunities for it!

41

STUDY NOTES At the Karma Café in Albuquerque, New Mexico, customers can receive a delicious meal without a price tag attached.

Each person is invited to pay what he can or what he would like to, and no one is turned away for lack of funds. Locals and visitors from all walks of life gather and eat communally around picnic tables in the café’s main room, enjoying country breakfasts, crepes, stir-fries, soup, sandwiches, and salads made from local and organic ingredients. Diners leave cash—any amount they choose – in a glass jar after their meal; some pay little, some pay more, and some pay for others.

Only time will tell if this financial model is sustainable longterm, but it’s a fascinating experiment and a great opportunity for people to practice kindness. Perhaps it’s time for a trip to Albuquerque!

42

C R E AT I N G A NEW STORY In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned.

- How has God been kind to you? How has He been good to you?

- How does God’s kindness to you affect the way you treat others?

- How are you reaping now what you’ve sown in the past?

- How can you be more intentional about sowing kindness and goodness?

- Each of you in the group has different gifts and abilities, and every small group has jobs that need to be done. How could you serve this group—perhaps with hospitality or prayer, by organizing an event, researching a topic, or by inviting new people?

- Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation: to come to a church service, to join your Life Group, or even to just have coffee and talk about spiritual matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind people you can pray for.

- Groups grow closer when they serve together. How could your group serve someone in need?

You may want to visit a shut-in from your church, provide a meal for a family who is going through difficulty, or give some other practical help to someone in need. If nothing comes to mind, spend some group time praying and asking God to show you who needs your help. Have two or three group members organize a serving project for the group, and then do it!

43

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

44

Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own. Jot down your reflections in a journal or in this study guide.

You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

Read 1 Peter 3:8-12.

- What does it mean to be like-minded?

- What does it mean to repay evil with blessing? What is the reason we are called to live this way?

- What are some of the blessings we ourselves receive when we seek to bless others?

Read Luke 6:32-36.

- Why isn’t love for those who love us the measure of our goodness?

- What is the reward for this kind of goodness? Who rewards us?

- Why are we called to love this way?

45

D A I LY D E V O T I O N A L S Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Read Ephesians 4:32

Read Proverbs 11:17

Read Romans 15:1-2

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

“Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves.”

“We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.”

Reflect: Forgiveness can be a difficult aspect of kindness. Ask for God’s help in showing this kindness to the people in your life.

Reflect: How have you experienced this to be true in your own life or in the experiences of others?

Reflect: All of us are weak in some ways and strong in others. What instructions does this passage give us for growing together as the church?

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46

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Read Jeremiah 9:23-24

Read Psalm 23:6

“This is what the Lord says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord.”

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Use the following space to reflect on what you learned this week and what God is saying to you.

Reflect:

Reflect: We can have confidence that God will always show us His goodness. As you close this week, take a few minutes to reflect on his love for you and thank Him for the ways He has blessed you.

What we do, even good deeds and random acts of kindness, is not where we find our identity.

Where does our “boasting” come from? How does God delight to show kindness and justice to us?

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47

SESSION 5

FAITHFULNESS “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.”

From the first day of your life to the moment you read these words, God has been present and active in your life. No matter what struggles you’ve endured or sins you’ve committed, He has been faithful in His love, His word, and His forgiveness. In fact, in this week’s memory verse, God reminds us He is faithful for a thousand generations.

From the creation of the world to the formation of our hearts, God is committed to loving His people for life.

All of us who follow God have experienced this faithfulness, but sometimes we struggle to model it in our own lives. Today we’ll learn how the Holy Spirit wants to shape us into people who are devoted to God, committed to His call, and becoming more full of faith in Him.

Deuteronomy 7:9

48

SHARE YOUR STORY Open your group with a brief prayer asking God for insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

Then begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking: - What are some ways God has shown His faithfulness to you?

- What’s an area of life where you’re really trustworthy and dependable? What’s an area where you need to work on being more faithful to your commitments?

49

WAT C H T H E D V D Use the Notes space provided below to record your thoughts and questions as well as the things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and start the conversation.

NOTES

50

HEAR GOD’S STORY Read 2 Timothy 3:10-17.

“You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, 11 persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

- This passage begins with Paul reminding Timothy of the ways he’s modeled faithfulness in his own ministry. How can our faithfulness be a testimony for others?

- Respond to verse 12. Why is this one reason the Spirit wants to develop faithfulness in God’s people?

- How does connection to God’s Word help us grow in faithfulness?

51

STUDY NOTES There’s no way we could list all the promises of God in this study guide – He’s given us so many that we’d quickly run out of room! However, here’s a list of a few promises God has made to us in His Word. What do they teach you about God’s character? What do they teach you about the faithfulness God wants from us?

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

Isaiah 40:29 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

James 1:5 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

1 John 1:9 “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”

Isaiah 54:10 “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

John 8:36 “If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.”

2 Timothy 2:13

52

C R E AT I N G A NEW STORY In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned.

- Respond to the clarification of what faithfulness is not. Have you ever confused faithfulness with a willingness to stay in unhealthy situations – or an unwillingness to change?

- How does faith help us defeat sin? Why is becoming more faith-full so important to developing the fruit of the Spirit?

- Why is our individual faithfulness so important to developing healthy relationships?

- How does faith require courage?

- What are some of the “good works” God might be calling you to do?

- Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation: to come to a church service, to join your Life Group, or even just to have coffee and talk about spiritual matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind people you can pray for.

- A strong group is made up of people who are all being filled up by God, so that they are empowered to love one another. What specific steps will you take this week to connect with God privately, so He can “fill you up?” If you’ve focused on prayer in past weeks, maybe you’ll want to direct your attention to scripture this week. If you’ve been reading God’s Word consistently, perhaps you’ll want to take it deeper and try memorizing a verse. Tell the group what you plan to try this week and share your progress and your challenges at the next meeting.

- Give each person an opportunity to share prayer requests. If you’d like, you can write these on the Prayer and Praise report on page 78.

- Close your meeting with prayer.

53

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

54

Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own. Jot down your reflections in a journal or in this study guide.

You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

Read Hebrews 6:13-18.

- What is the oath God made to Abraham?

- Why did He swear by Himself to make this oath?

- According to this passage, what are some reasons we can trust God?

Read Proverbs 3:3-4.

- What is the significance of love and faithfulness being connected so strongly here? Can you have one without the other?

- What does it mean to bind love and faithfulness around our neck? Or to write these qualities on the tablet of our heart? What is the principle behind these word pictures?

- What are we promised if we follow the commands in this passage?

55

D A I LY D E V O T I O N A L S Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Read Hebrews 13:8

Read Psalm 119:30

Read Lamentations 3:22-23

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

“I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws.”

Reflect:

Reflect:

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Jesus changed the world, but He never changes. His grace, His mercy, and His love for you remain the same, no matter what!

How does our knowledge of God’s Word help us to grow in faithfulness?

Reflect:

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56

You may recognize this as one of the scriptures that inspired that wonderful old hymn, “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” Take some time to thank God for the renewal of His mercy and compassion to you each day.

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Read Hebrews 10:23

Read Revelation 19:11

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war.”

Use the following space to reflect on what you learned this week and what God is saying to you.

Reflect: Spend a few minutes praising God for who He is and thanking Him for his faithfulness to you.

Ask Him to help you hold on to hope.

Reflect: What a picture, and how amazing that “Faithful” is actually a name for our Savior!

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57

SESSION 6

GENTLENESS AND SELF-CONTROL “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”

Proverbs 25:28

Every December, the “World’s Strongest Man” competition is held, with competitions including a vehicle pull, overhead press, log throw, and giant dumbbell press. People around the world enter, with Poland currently topping the list of winners.

Some people think contests like these, with muscles and machismo, prove a person’s strength. Others believe strength is making lots of money, accumulating power and influence, or even having a sharp tongue and a quick temper that intimidates others. But the Bible teaches something counter-cultural: that true strength is strong enough to limit itself, and it means restraining our emotions and actions to do God’s will instead of our own. As we close this study, let’s look at how Jesus modeled gentleness and self-control, and how the Spirit can help us grow “stronger” in the same ways.

58

SHARE YOUR STORY Open your group with a brief prayer asking God for insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

Then begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking: - What has surprised you most about this group? Where did God meet you over the last six weeks?

- What comes to mind when you think of being gentle?

Who is someone you see as being self-controlled?

- Take some time for each person to share about how they’ve done with inviting the people on the Circles of Life to church or your Life Group. What specific conversations are you praying about for the weeks to come?

59

WAT C H T H E D V D Use the Notes space provided below to record your thoughts and questions as well as the things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and start the conversation.

NOTES

60

HEAR GOD’S STORY Read 1 Peter 2:20-25.

“But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.”

“He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.”

“When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”

- Why are we actually called to suffer for doing good?

- How did Jesus demonstrate self-control during his trial and crucifixion?

- What does it mean that Jesus entrusted Himself to God? How can knowledge of God’s sovereignty help us develop self-control?

- How do we die to sin? How do we live for righteousness?

61

STUDY NOTES In the video teaching, Pastor Mark mentioned that Jesus was tempted as He began His earthly ministry. (You can read these accounts in Matthew 4 and Luke 4.) What’s significant about this story is not just that Jesus modeled self-control during these encounters with Satan, but that this early spiritual victory also demonstrated how Jesus had come to save us.

In his book Jesus: An Intimate Portrait of the Man, His Land, and His People, author and pastor Leith Anderson writes, “…..the devil had confronted Adam and Eve at the beginning of history, and they failed their test; the nation of Israel had spent forty years wandering around the desert after escaping Egyptian slavery, and they behaved badly and suffered the consequences; Jesus was going to face similar tests.” He goes on to write about the three temptations Jesus faced when Satan encountered him in the desert: the temptation to turn stones into bread, to jump off the temple and command angels to save him, and to worship Satan in return for all the riches of the world. In each scenario, Jesus is tempted to pursue earthly strength and power. But in conquering these temptations and pleasing God in each one of these tests, Jesus succeeds where all of his people had previously failed.

Where their “wilderness experiences” involved sin, Jesus completely won this battle, choosing to align His desires with God’s and confirming his identity as the Son of God.

62

C R E AT I N G A NEW STORY How has God changed your story during this study? What new things is He asking you to do? What truth has transformed your heart? Think about specific steps you want to take to apply what you’ve learned.

- How was Jesus a person of great strength? How did He demonstrate that strength?

- Respond to the idea that real strength doesn’t have to prove itself. How does our own self-identity shape the way we grow in gentleness and self-control?

- How do difficult times give us opportunities to develop fruit?

- How could growing in gentleness improve your relationships? What about growing in self-control?

- If your group still needs to make decisions about continuing to meet after this session, have that discussion now. Talk about what you will study, who will lead, and when you will meet.

- Review your Life Group Agreement on page 69 and evaluate how well you met your goals. Discuss any changes you want to make as you move forward.

- Close by praying for your prayer requests and take a couple of minutes to review the praises you have recorded over the past five weeks on the Prayer and Praise Report on page 78. Spend some time thanking God for all He’s done in your group during this study.

63

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

64

Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own. Jot down your reflections in a journal or in this study guide.

You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

Read 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.

- What kind of training do athletes undergo? What are some forms of spiritual training that can help us “run in such a way as to get the prize”?

- What is the crown that will last?

- How do we run with purpose? What does it mean to “strike a blow to my body”?

Read Titus 2:11-14.

- How does God’s grace help us learn to say no to sin and yes to self-control?

- Why is self-control part of a godly life?

- Are you “eager to do what is good”? How does the hope of the resurrection motivate you to seek God’s will?

65

D A I LY D E V O T I O N A L S Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Read Proverbs 15:1

Read Colossians 3:12

Read James 3:13

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”

Reflect: The tone of our words and the approach we take to difficult conversations can make all the difference in how our words are received. Ask God for help in giving more gentle answers and fewer harsh words!

Reflect: When you are secure in your relationship with God, you can show gentleness in your relationships with others. Spend a few minutes reflecting on God’s great love for you.

Reflect: How does wisdom lead to humility? How can growing in wisdom help you become more gentle and self-controlled?

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Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Read 2 Peter 1:5-7

Read Matthew 5:5

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to selfcontrol, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.”

“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”

Use the following space to reflect on what you learned this week and what God is saying to you.

Reflect: What does it mean to be meek?

(Hint: it’s related to gentleness!)

What blessing is Jesus promising in this verse?

Reflect: How do these character traits build on each other? Which ones do you need God to develop in you?

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67

FA Q s What do we do on the first night of our group?

Like all fun things in life—have a party! A “get to know you” coffee, dinner, or dessert is a great way to launch a new study. You may want to review the Life Group Agreement (page 69) and share the names of a few friends you can invite to join you. But most importantly, have fun before your study time begins.

Can we do this study on our own?

Absolutely! This may sound crazy, but one of the best ways to do this study is not with a full house but with a few friends. You may choose to gather with another couple or a few friends who would enjoy going out for dinner and then walking through this study.

What if this group is not working for us?

You’re not alone! This could be the result of a personality conflict, life stage difference, geographical distance, level of spiritual maturity, or any number of things. Relax. Pray for God’s direction, and at the end of this study, decide whether to continue with this group or find another. However, don’t bail out before the six weeks are up—God might have something to teach you. Also, don’t run from conflict or prejudge people before you have given them a chance. God is still working in your life, too!

Who is the leader?

Most groups have an official leader. But ideally, the group will mature and members will rotate the leadership of meetings. Healthy groups often rotate hosts and leaders on a regular basis. This model ensures that all members grow, give their unique contribution, and develop their gifts.

How do we handle the childcare needs in our group?

Very carefully. Seriously, this can be a sensitive issue. We suggest that you empower the group to openly brainstorm solutions. You may try one option that works for a while and then adjust over time. One approach is for adults to meet in the living room or dining room and to share the cost of a babysitter (or two) who can watch the kids in a different part of the house.

This way, parents don’t have to be away from their children all evening when their children are too young to be left at home. A second option is to use one home for the kids and a second home (close by or a phone call away) for the adults. A third idea is to rotate the responsibility of providing a lesson or caring for the children. This can be an incredible blessing for kids. Finally, the most common solution is to decide that you need to have a night to invest in your spiritual lives individually or as a couple and to make your own arrangements for childcare. No matter what decision the group makes, the best approach is to dialogue openly about both the problem and the solution.

68

LIFE GROUP AGREEMENT OUR PURPOSE To provide an environment where participants experience authentic community and spiritual growth.

OUR VALUES Group Attendance To give priority to the group meeting. We will call or email if we will be late or absent. (Completing the Group Calendar on page 71 will minimize this issue.)

Safe Environment To create a safe place where people can be heard and feel loved. (Please, no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes.)

Respect Differences To be gentle and gracious to fellow group members with different spiritual maturity, personal opinions, temperaments, or “imperfections.� We are all works in progress.

Confidentiality To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and within the group, and to avoid sharing improper information about those outside the group.

Encouragement for Growth To be not just takers but givers of life. We want to spiritually multiply our life by serving others with our God-given gifts.

Shared Ownership To remember that every member is a minister and to ensure that each attender will share a small team role or responsibility over time.

Rotating Hosts Leaders and Homes To encourage different people to host the group in their homes and to rotate the responsibility of facilitating each meeting. (See the Group Calendar on page 71.)

69

OUR EXPECTATIONS •

Refreshments/mealtimes _____________________________________

•

Childcare ________________________________________________

•

When we will meet (day of week) _____________________________

•

Where we will meet (place) __________________________________

•

We will begin at (time) ______________ and end at ______________

• We will do our best to have some or all of us attend a worship service together. Our primary worship service time will be ________________ •

Date of this agreement ______________________________________

•

Date we will review this agreement again _______________________

•

Who (other than the leader) will review this agreement at the end of this study

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LIFE GROUP CALENDAR Date

Lesson

Host

Desert/Meal

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Leader

MEMORY VERSE CARDS SESSION ONE

SESSION TWO

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Galatians 5:25

Philippians 4:4

SESSION THREE

SESSION FOUR

“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Galatians 6:9

Isaiah 40:30-31

SESSION FIVE

SESSION SIX

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.”

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”

Proverbs 25:28

Deuteronomy 7:9

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LIFE GROUP LEADERS Key resources to help your leadership experience be the best it can be.

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HOSTING AN OPEN HOUSE If you’re starting a new group, try planning an “open house” before your first formal group meeting. Even if you have only two to four core members, it’s a great way to break the ice and to consider prayerfully who else might be open to joining you over the next few weeks. You can also use this kick-off meeting to hand out study guides, spend some time getting to know each other, discuss each person’s expectations for the group and briefly pray for each other. A simple meal or good desserts always make a kick-off meeting more fun.

After people introduce themselves, have everyone respond to a few icebreaker questions:

• • •

What is your favorite family vacation?

What is one thing you love about your church/our community?

What are three things about your life growing up that most people here don’t know?

Next, ask everyone to tell what he or she hopes to get out of the study. You might want to review the Life Group Agreement and talk about each person’s expectations and priorities.

Finally, set an open chair (maybe two) in the center of your group and explain that it represents someone who would enjoy or benefit from this group but who isn’t here yet. Ask people to pray about inviting someone to join the group over the next few weeks. Hand out postcards and have everyone write an invitation or two. Don’t worry about ending up with too many people; you can always have one discussion circle in the living room and another in the dining room after you watch the lesson. Each group could then report prayer requests and progress at the end of the session.

You can skip this kick-off meeting if your time is limited, but you’ll experience a huge benefit if you take the time to connect with each other in this way.

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LEADING FOR THE FIRST TIME • Sweaty palms are a healthy sign. The Bible says God is gracious to the humble. Remember who is in control; the time to worry is when you’re not worried. Those who are soft in heart (and sweaty-palmed) are those whom God is sure to speak through.

• Seek support. Ask your leader, co-leader, or close friend to pray for you and prepare with you before the session. Walking through the study will help you anticipate potentially difficult questions and discussion topics.

• Bring your uniqueness to the study. Lean in to who you are and how God wants you to uniquely lead the study.

• Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Go through the session several times. If you are using the video, listen to the teaching segment and Leadership Lifter. Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare.

• Ask for feedback so you can grow. Perhaps in an email or on cards handed out at the study, have everyone write down three things you did well and one thing you could improve on. Don’t get defensive. Instead, show an openness to learn and grow.

• Prayerfully consider launching a new group. This doesn’t need to happen overnight, but keep growth as a goal. Not all Christians are called to be leaders or teachers, but we are all called to be “shepherds” of a few someday.

• Share with your group what God is doing in your heart. God is searching for those whose hearts are fully his. Share your trials and victories. We promise that people will relate.

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LEADERSHIP TRAINING 101 Congratulations! You have responded to the call to help lead your group. As you prepare to lead, whether it is one session or the entire series, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind.

1. Remember that you are not alone.

It is common for good leaders to feel they are not ready to lead. Moses, Solomon, Jeremiah, and Timothy were all reluctant to lead. God promises, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

Whether you are leading for one evening, for several weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you serve.

2. Don’t try to do it alone.

Pray right now for God to help you build a healthy leadership team. If you can enlist a co-leader to help you lead the group, you will find your experience to be much richer. This is your chance to involve as many people as you can in building a healthy group. All you have to do is call and ask people to help.

You’ll probably be surprised at the response.

3. Just be yourself.

If you won’t be you, who will? God wants you to use your unique gifts and temperament. Don’t try to do things exactly like another leader; do them in a way that fits you! Just admit it when you don’t have an answer, and apologize when you make a mistake. Your group will love you for it, and you’ll sleep better at night!

4. Prepare for your meeting ahead of time.

Review the session and the leader’s notes, and write down your responses to each question. Pay special attention to exercises that ask group members to do something other than engage in discussion. These exercises will help your group live what the Bible teaches, not just talk about it. Be sure you understand how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies (such as paper and pens) to your meeting. If the exercise employs one of the items in the appendix, be sure to look over that item so you’ll know how it works. Finally, review “Outline for Each Session” so you’ll remember the purpose of each section in the study.

5. Pray for your group members by name.

Before you begin your session, go around the room in your mind and pray for each member by name.

You may want to review the prayer list at least once a week. Ask God to use your time together to touch the heart of every person uniquely. Expect God to lead you to whomever He wants you to encourage or challenge in a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead!

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6. When you ask a question, be patient.

Someone will eventually respond. Sometimes people need a moment or two of silence to think about the question. If silence doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother anyone else. After someone responds, affirm the response with a simple “thanks” or “good job.” Then ask, “How about somebody else?” or “Would someone who hasn’t shared like to add anything?” Be sensitive to new people or reluctant members who aren’t ready to say, pray or do anything. If you give them a safe setting, they will blossom over time.

7. Provide transitions between questions.

When guiding the discussion, always read aloud the transitional paragraphs and the questions. Ask the group if anyone would like to read the paragraph or Bible passage. Don’t call on anyone, but ask for a volunteer, and then be patient until someone begins. Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud.

8. Break up into smaller groups each week.

If your group has more than seven people, we strongly encourage you to have the group gather at times in discussion circles of three or four people during the Hear God’s Story or Change Your Story sections of the study. With a greater opportunity to talk in a small circle, people will connect more with the study, apply what they’re learning more quickly, and ultimately get more out of it. A small circle also encourages a quiet person to participate and tends to minimize the effects of a more vocal or dominant member. When you gather again at the end of the section, you can have one person summarize the highlights from each circle. Small circles are also helpful during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying aloud will feel more comfortable trying it with just two or three others. Also, prayer requests won’t take as much time, so circles will have more time to actually pray. When you gather back with the whole group, you can have one person from each circle briefly update everyone on the prayer requests. People are more willing to pray in small circles if they know that the whole group will hear all the prayer requests.

9. Rotate facilitators weekly.

At the end of each meeting, ask the group who should lead the following week. Let the group help select your weekly facilitator. You may be perfectly capable of leading each time, but you will help others grow in their faith and gifts if you give them opportunities to lead. You can use the Life Group Calendar to fill in the names of all meeting leaders at once if you prefer.

10. One final challenge (for new or first time leaders): Before your first opportunity to lead, look up each of the five passages listed below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help yourself develop a shepherd’s heart. Trust us on this one. If you do this, you will be more than ready for your first meeting.

Matthew 9:36 1 Peter 5:2-4 Psalm 23 Ezekiel 34:11-16 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, 11-12

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LIFE GROUP ROSTER Name

Phone

Address

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