Family Matters - Study Guide - Sample

Copyright © 2016 by Cathedral of Faith ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Published by Cathedral of Faith Copyright and use of the curriculum template is retained by Brett Eastman.

Unless otherwise noted, all scripture quotes are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 and 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission.

All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 9781945589089 Printed in the United States

of America

CONTENTS ENDORSEMENTS 4 FOREWORD BY DR. BRUCE WILKINSON

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INTRODUCTION BY PASTOR KEN FOREMAN

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USING THIS WORKBOOK (READ THIS FIRST)

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OUTLINE FOR EACH SESSION

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SESSION ONE: HOPE FOR THE FAMILY

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SESSION TWO: SINGLE MINDED

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SESSION THREE: LOVE AND MARRIAGE

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SESSION FOUR: HONOR SYSTEM

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SESSION FIVE: THE BLESSING OF CHILDREN

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SESSION SIX: THE FAMILY OF GOD

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APPENDICES 118 FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

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SMALL GROUP AGREEMENT

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SMALL GROUP CALENDAR

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MEMORY VERSE CARDS (CLIP AND REVIEW)

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SPIRITUAL PARTNERS CHECK-IN

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PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT

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SMALL GROUP ROSTER

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SMALL GROUP LEADERS

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HOSTING AN OPEN HOUSE

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LEADING FOR THE FIRST TIME

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LEADERSHIP TRAINING

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In Family Matters, my friend, Pastor Ken has created an essential study that is biblical, encouraging, inspirational, practical, worshipful and timely. I am thrilled to recommend this resource to you, trusting that your application of these powerful principles will make a profound impact on you and your family.

Rick Muchow Former Worship Pastor, Saddleback Church; Worship Leader and Coach Pastor Ken Foreman not only preaches about family, he and his family live the message 24/7. And the Cathedral of Faith is more than a church; it’s a family, and as such, a place for healing and training families. I wholeheartedly endorse and recommend this life-changing series.

Dr. Ed Silvoso President, Harvest Evangelism & Transform Our World I’m so excited for you my Cathedral family. I truly believe that this series, Family Matters, is going to change your life. With all that is going on in the world, we need to make sure that our family (our Christian family and our Immediate family) is a strong unit.

Pastor Ken is such an amazing teacher, and he always makes sure that no matter where you are in your faith, that you will grow. His ministry and teaching have truly blessed me and my family and I know it will do the same for you. I encourage you all to take the plunge because your family matters!

Jamie Jones Lead Singer from the Grammy Award-winning group, All-4-One

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We all WANT a Strong Family. But how do you actually build one! You MUST watch this incredible new series on creating fun, fulfilling, loving, committed relationships by my friend, Pastor Ken, and the amazing team at Cathedral of Faith. This series will coach and show you how to bless and build up your most important relationships with your loved ones and your Lord!

John Trent President of StrongFamilies.com and the Center for StrongFamilies Ken Foreman brings alive in Family Matters a fresh and powerful voice for what it truly means to be family....both the good and the bad. Being family is something we all have in common and no family has it completely right! In fact, Ken has a large group of people surrounding him who weigh in with their perspective. This is far more than an fabulous study. It is an incredible experience.

Josh McDowell Josh McDowell Ministry We all have family. Whether you’re married, single, divorced, or widowed, this series will speak to you. Pastor Ken is so talented at touching my heart as I learn, laugh, and grow in my journey with God and my family.

I pray you discover just as I have how much FAMILY MATTERS. Travis Ishikawa Member of the 2010 and 2014 World Serieswinning San Francisco Giants

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BY DR. BRUCE WILKINSON

F

rom the heart of Ken Foreman, the pastor of one of America’s greatest churches, comes this powerful new group Bible study series, Family Matters. In touch with

the difficult challenges of families in today’s troubling world, Ken guides you through transforming Biblical truths that will set any family free to flourish, even in a seemingly hopeless situation.

Like a miraculous antibiotic that can heal the most painful disease, this course injects you with God’s universal healing solutions for any family. Rather than preaching from the pulpit on a Sunday morning service, Pastor Ken joins you in a home

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setting dealing with “reality life”—your life. Not afraid of the difficult problems, Ken seems like he knows you personally, almost like you’ve been friends for decades. With sensitive understanding and grace, Ken lays out the path to victory and a marriage made in heaven. After all, marriage is God’s idea and was made in heaven!

Having been close friends with Ken and his wife Alisa for many years, I’ve witnessed firsthand their loving relationship that they enjoy, year after year.

Through the good and difficult times, Ken and Alisa’s marriage and family validates that what they teach actually works, for good!

Whether you are single, divorced, widowed, engaged, newly married, or in your golden years, your life will be forever enriched with the unique and creative teaching of Pastor Ken coupled with his down-to-earth warmth, humor, and genuine sincerity. From my heart to yours, may you enjoy the gift that this course (series) will prove to be because the Lord Himself sent it to you through His servant, Pastor Ken. Bruce Wilkinson President: Teach Every Nation Author: The Prayer of Jabez and Dream Giver

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BY PASTOR KEN FOREMAN

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e are all different, but we are all part of a family.

Whether you are single, married, divorced, or widowed.....whether you have young children, grown children, or no children.....whether you are close to a huge extended family or you haven’t seen your family in years.....all of us have family relationships, and all of us can learn from what the Bible has to say about growing in our families.

In this six-week study, ​we’ll look together at God’s teaching for singles, spouses, parents, and children. We’ll learn why we can have hope for our families. And we’ll finish our study with a focus on what it means to be part of the family of God. In addition to diving into the scriptures together, we’ll also grow closer to each other. Each week’s video teaching includes a

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“studio audience” full of people who share their stories, explore that week’s topic, and keep me on my toes with their questions!

Their insights will open the door for your group to go deeper together, and you’ll appreciate their honest reflections on what it means to be part of earthly families and a church family.

My prayer for you over the next six weeks is that you will not only be equipped and encouraged to love your family, but you will also understand God’s love for you in a new way. The Creator of our families is also our Heavenly Father, and He wants to bless your family as you follow Him.

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USING THIS WORKBOOK T O O L S T O H E L P Y O U H AV E A G R E AT S M A L L G R O U P EXPERIENCE!

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1. Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: (1) Sessions; (2) Appendices; and (3) Small Group Leaders. Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will be used in the sessions themselves.

2. If you are facilitating/leading or co-leading a small group, the section Small Group Leaders will give you some experiences of others that will encourage you and help you avoid many common obstacles to effective small group leadership.

3. Use this workbook as a guide, not a straightjacket. If the group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the Small Group Leaders section.

4. Pray before each session—for your group members, for your time together, for wisdom and insights.

5. Read the Outline for Each Session on the next pages to you understand how the sessions will flow.

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OUTLINE OF EACH SESSION A typical group session for the FAMILY MATTERS—Imagine Living Your Dream study will include the following sections. Read through this to get a clear idea of how each group meeting will be structured: WEEKLY MEMORY VERSES. Each session opens with a Memory Verse that emphasizes an important truth from the session. This is an optional exercise, but we believe that memorizing scripture can be a vital part of filling our minds with God’s will for our lives. We encourage you to give this important habit a try. The verses for our six sessions are also listed in the appendix.

INTRODUCTION. Each lesson opens with a brief thought that will help you prepare for the session and get you thinking about the particular subject you will explore with your group.

Make it a practice to read these before the session. You may want to have the group read them aloud.

SHARE YOUR STORY. The foundation for spiritual growth is an intimate connection with God and His family.

You build that connection by sharing your story with a few people who really know

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you and who earn your trust. This section includes some simple questions to get you talking—letting you share as much or as little of your story as you feel comfortable doing. Each session typically offers you two options. You can get to know your whole group by using the icebreaker question(s), or you can check in with one or two group members, your spiritual partner(s), for a deeper connection and encouragement in your spiritual journey.

HEAR GOD’S STORY. In this section, you’ll read the Bible and listen to teaching, in order to hear God’s story—and begin to see how His story aligns with yours. When the study directs you, you’ll pop in the DVD and watch a short teaching segment by Pastor Ken Foreman.

You’ll then have an opportunity to read a passage of scripture and discuss both the teaching and the text. You won’t focus on accumulating information but on how you should live in light of the Word of God. We want to help you apply the insights from scripture practically and creatively, from your heart as well as your head. At the end of the day, allowing the timeless truths from God’s Word to transform our lives in Christ should be your greatest aim.

STUDY NOTES. This brief section provides additional commentary, background, or insights on the passage you’ll study in the Hear God’s Story section.

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CREATE A NEW STORY. God wants you to be a part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin to change our direction. This is where the Bible’s instructions to “be doers of the Word, not just hearers” (James 1:22) come into play.

Many people skip over this aspect of the Christian life because it’s scary, relationally awkward, or simply too much work for their busy schedules. But Jesus wanted all of His disciples to know Him personally, carry out His commands, and help outsiders connect with Him. This doesn’t necessarily mean preaching on street corners. It could mean welcoming newcomers, hosting a short-term group in your home, or walking through this study with a friend.

In this study, you’ll have an opportunity to go beyond Bible study to biblical living. This section will also have a question or two that will challenge you to live out your faith by serving others, sharing your faith, and worshiping God. FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY. If you have time and want to dig deeper into more Bible passages about the topic at hand, we’ve provided additional passages and questions, which you can use either during the meeting or as homework. Your group may choose to read and prepare before each meeting in order to cover more biblical material. Or, group members can use the additional study section during the week after the meeting. If you prefer not to do study homework, this section will provide you with plenty to discuss within the group.

These options allow individuals or the whole group to expand their study while still accommodating those who can’t do homework or are new to your group.

DAILY DEVOTIONS. Each week on the Daily Devotions pages, we provide scriptures to read and reflect on between sessions. This provides you with a chance to slow down, read just a small portion of scripture each day, and reflect and pray through it. You’ll then have a chance to journal your response to what you’ve read. Use this section to seek God on your own throughout the week. This time at home should begin and end with prayer. Don’t get in a hurry; take enough time to hear God’s direction.

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DO NOT MERELY LISTEN TO THE WORD, AND SO DECEIVE YOURSELVES. DO WHAT IT SAYS. JAMES 1:22

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Thank you for choosing the FAMILY MATTERS—Imagine Living Your Dream experience.

God wants to start stirring hope in you for your family. Our prayer is that in these six weeks, you and your group members will have the opportunity to identify and move toward your hopes and dreams for your family. God is able to do far more than we can ask or imagine.

INVITE PEOPLE TO JOIN YOUR GROUP Even if you already have an established group with plenty of members, the FAMILY MATTERS­—Imagine Living Your Dream study provides an opportunity to invite other people to join you. There are many people in your community who are searching for purpose and direction in their lives and are ready to find hope for their family.

Prayerfully consider whom you might invite to join your FAMILY MATTERS­—Imagine Living Your Dream experience, and encourage current members to do the same. Your invitations could make a big difference in the health and strength of families.

SMALL GROUP ROSTER Before you start this first meeting, get contact information from every participant.

Take time to pass around a copy of the Small Group Roster on page 130, a sheet of paper, or pass around your Study Guide opened to the Small Group Roster. In the next week, ask someone to make copies or type up a list with everyone’s information and email it to the group during the week.

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COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR GROUP MEMBERS Contact your group members to let them know when your meetings will start and what to expect. Once you begin your sessions, communicate with your members every week to encourage them and provide prayer support.

PRAY FOR YOUR GROUP MEMBERS Between each of the sessions, ask God to give you insights that will help you pray for each group member so they will recognize and pursue the dream that God has for their lives.

GATHER SUPPLIES AND EQUIPMENT You will need a DVD player for your small group gathering. Decide whether or not you will have any refreshments before, during or after your small group.

CONFIDENTIALITY Remember to keep confidential what is shared and do not force anyone to disclose anything they don’t feel comfortable sharing. The goal of reading and studying this resource together with a group is to encourage one another and pray for one another as each person lives out God’s best for their family.

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“GOD CAN DO ANYTHING, YOU KNOW—FAR MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE OR GUESS OR REQUEST IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!” EPHESIANS 3:20, MSG

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F

amily is such a universal subject. We all have family of some sort, whether it be parents, children, cousins, nephews, great aunts or church family. We’ve all encountered that colorful uncle, or maybe we are that colorful uncle.

(Someone once said that every family tree has a few fruits and nuts.) Often our closest relationships are with our family. Some of our most special moments and memories are with family, and they truly can be an amazing gift from God. As wonderful as family can be, it does have its painful challenges‌ the teenager we are not sure how to parent, the aging parents we are not sure how to relate to, the brothers and sisters we barely talk to. There are many hurting homes, fragmented families and broken hearts. But the God who created the idea of family can transform any problem and every person. No matter what your story or your current situation, God is at work and He can do great things. In this first session, we’ll discover what God has to say about our families and why we can have hope in the future.

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WELCOME AND INTRODUCTIONS. Give your group an opportunity to mingle and meet each other.

Welcome them to the FAMILY MATTERS—Imagine Living Your Dream Experience. Thank them for coming. Let them know that the goal is to have hope for their family and move closer to God’s family.

OPENING COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS: Before you start this first session, get contact information for every participant. Take time to pass around a copy of the Small Group Roster on page 130, a sheet of paper, or one of you give your Study Guide, opened to the Small Group Roster.

Ask someone to make copies or type up a list with everyone’s information and email it to the group during the week. ll Whether your group is new or ongoing, it’s always important to reflect on and review your values together.

On page 122 is a Small Group Agreement with the values we’ve found most useful in sustaining healthy, balanced groups. We recommend you choose one or two values— ones you haven’t previously focused on or have room to grow in—to emphasize during this study. Choose ones that will take your group to the next stage of intimacy and spiritual health. ll We recommend you rotate host homes on a regular basis and let the hosts lead the meeting. Studies show that healthy groups rotate leadership. This helps to develop every member’s ability to shepherd a few people in a safe environment. Even Jesus gave others the opportunity to serve alongside Him (Mark 6:30-44). Look at the FAQs in the Appendix for additional information about hosting or leading the group. ll The Small Group Calendar on page 124 is a tool for planning who will host and lead each meeting. Take a few minutes to plan hosts and leaders for your remaining meetings. Don’t skip this important step! It will revolutionize your group. ll If your group is new, welcome newcomers. Introduce everyone—you may even want to have nametags for your first meeting.

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The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. But many who saw them leaving recognized them and ran on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.

By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples came to him. “This is a remote place,” they said, “and it’s already very late. Send the people away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.”

But he answered, “You give them something to eat.”

They said to him, “That would take more than half a year’s wages! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?”

“How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.”

W h e n t h ey f o u n d o u t , t h ey s a i d , “ F i ve — a n d two fish.”

Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to distribute to the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish. The number of the men who had eaten was five thousand.

Mark 6:30-44

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OPEN IN PRAYER

This should be a brief, simple prayer asking God to reveal insights as you study.

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SHARE YOUR STORY

Lead the group by sharing your life stage with others in the group.

1. What brought you here?

2. What do you hope to get out of this group?

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WATCH THE DVD Introduce the video by sharing: “In this first section entitled Hope for the Family, we are going to meet Pastor Ken Foreman.”

Use the space provided below to record key thoughts, questions and things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions and the Hear God’s Story section and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

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ASK THE GROUP: “What stood out to you as you heard Pastor Ken introduce this section?” (Take a few minutes to have the group share highlights, insights, and ideas they experienced.)

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HEAR GOD’S STORY

Have someone read the passage from Ruth.

“The women said to Naomi: ‘Praise be to the LORD, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.’ Then Naomi took the child in her arms and cared for him. The women living there said, ‘Naomi has a son!’ And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.”

Ruth 4:14-17 1. Ask the group: “How did God bring hope to Naomi and rewrite her story?”

2. Think about Pastor Ken’s teaching. How is Ruth “better than seven sons” to Naomi?

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3. W h y d o e s N a o m i c e l e b ra t e the birth of Obed as if he were her own son?

4. What stands out to you most in the story of Naomi?

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STUDY NOTES One of the ways God gives hope to Naomi and Ruth is through Boaz, who marries Ruth. This marriage doesn’t happen because Boaz has a “falling in love” moment with Ruth; in fact, we don’t know if he had romantic feelings for her at the beginning at all! Instead, Boaz married Ruth because part of the Jewish law commanded men to protect and “redeem” their relatives who have fallen into poverty or hardship. (See Leviticus 25:47-49 and Deuteronomy 25:5-6 for more on this law.) Boaz was related to Naomi through her husband Elimelik, and he took this responsibility seriously. Therefore, although he may have also had romantic feelings for Ruth, he married her to give security to Naomi and Ruth and to provide an heir for their family.

The Bible makes it clear that kind of solid protection is also part of the character of God; in fact, God himself is our guardian-redeemer, who is our Father, rescuer, and deliverer. Ruth could have hope for the future because Boaz was a man of honor who obeyed God’s commands. We can have hope for our families because God has promised to care for us with an even greater love.

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GOD HIMSELF IS OUR GUARDIAN-REDEEMER, WHO IS OUR FATHER, RESCUER, AND DELIVERER. 29

CREATE A NEW STORY

God wants you to be part of His kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change—to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By starting with small, simple choices, we begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way— giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into scripture, and challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God.

1. Have small group members share their answers: ll Have you ever experienced a time like Naomi did, when the dream for your family seemed over?

ll Is there any specific way that God might want you to move from bitter to better?

ll What story is God still writing in your life?

ll What is a dream you have for your family?

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2. Take a look at the Circles of Life diagram below and write the names of two or three people you know who need to know Christ. Commit to praying for God’s guidance and an opportunity to share with each of them. Perhaps they would be open to joining the group? Share your lists with the group so you can all be praying for the people you’ve identified.

FAMILY

(immediate or extended)

FAMILIAR

FRIENDS

(neighbors, kids, sports teams, school, and so forth)

FUN

(gym, hobbies, hangouts)

FIRM (work)

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3. Also consider someone—in this group or outside it—with whom you can intentionally go deeper. This might be your mom or dad, a cousin, an aunt or uncle, a roommate, a college buddy, or a neighbor.

Choose someone who might be open to “doing life” with you at a deeper level and pray about that opportunity.

4. This week how will you interact with the Bible? Can you commit to spending time in daily prayer or study of God’s Word (use the Daily Devotions section to guide you)? Tell the group how you plan to follow Jesus this week, and then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress and challenges.

5. Have everyone share any prayer requests they have pertaining to their current family situation. Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write down prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 128.

6. Remind the group of the meeting place and time for next week.

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FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time before the next meeting to dig into His Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own and jot your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations.

READ PSALM 103. ll What reasons can we find for hope in verses 2–12?

ll Write verses 17 and 18 in your own words. What promises can you claim for your family from these verses?

ll After listing dozens of ways God is good, this Psalm appropriately ends with praise. Take a moment to praise God for His goodness in your life.

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READ 2 CORINTHIANS 4:8-9; 16-18. ll Can you relate to the ways Paul describes himself in verses 8 and 9? Why can we have hope even when we are hard-pressed or perplexed?

ll What does it mean to be inwardly renewed?

ll How do our earthly troubles achieve an eternal glory?

ll How does verse 18 change your perspective on the issues facing your family?

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DAILY DEVOTIONALS

DAY 1 • READ ROMANS 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Respond: It’s hard to be joyful, patient, and faithful when our families are in crisis. Take a few minutes today to list or to say out loud the difficult things you or those close to you are facing, and ask for God’s peace in the midst of them.

DAY 2 • READ PROVERBS 23:18 “There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.”

Respond: So often we think “now” is how it will feel forever. But remember this week’s lesson – God is not done writing your story, and there is future hope for you.

DAY 3 • READ 2 TIMOTHY 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

Respond: Some situations call for patience and for holding our tongues; others call for boldness.

Ask God for wisdom about which is needed in your family.

DAY 4 • READ ROMANS 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Respond: What is the key to having joy and peace?

Who or what is the source of our hope?

DAY 5 • READ ISAIAH 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Respond: The Bible is full of commands to be brave and to reject fear. As we end this week, consider how your perspective on your family should change in light of God’s promises to strengthen and help you.

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DAY 6 Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

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God’s word has practical advice for what it means to be part of a family. It offers guidance for singles, parents, spouses, sons and daughters. It assures us of God’s love, encourages us to be faithful, and teaches all of us what it means to be in the family of God. In this study, Pastor Ken Foreman shares Biblical examples and relevant teaching for every life stage and family situation. He offers hope and help for everyone who wants to follow God’s teaching and strengthen their families.

Ken Foreman is senior pastor at the 12,000-member Cathedral of Faith in San Jose, California. He ministers to 13 sites and 18 microsites in the San Francisco Bay area, the Philippines and online, blending Scripture with engaging illustrations that bring an exciting perspective to living out a Christian life. Ken’s imagination is boundless, and that’s just what you’ll experience in Family Matters—Imagine Living Your Dream.

His honest, straightforward approach is captivating. Ken masterfully weaves humor, real-life stories, self-reflection, and solid Biblical principles to steer people from dreaming to doing. No matter what your story or your current situation, Ken teaches that God is at work and can do great things for your family.

He and his wife, Alisa, have two grown children, Blake and Lauren, and one grandson.