Coaching lifetogether

A Six-Session DVD Training Series for Small Group Leaders and Coaches

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EVERYTHING SMALL GROUPS

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Group University BUILDING LEADERS FOR LIFE

FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE PURPOSE DRIVEN GROUP SERIES DOING LIFETOGETHER WITH OVER 3,000,000 SOLD

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Endorsements

How have you benefitted from the Lifetogether coaching programs and materials found in Small Group University?

“Brett’s enthusiasm, encouragement, and expertise is helping us get a strong foundation for this new venture in the life of our church.

- Earl Wheatley, Senior Pastor, North Park Church, MS “The program has become THE driving force in developing a successful pathway for significant spiritual growth.”

- Mike Womble, Associate Pastor, Winter Park Baptist Church, NC As a Small Group Pastor, this has helped me think more strategically about “…our small group ministry in relation to the mission and vision of our church. It has also challenged me personally to grow as a leader.”

-Todd Cullen, Life Group Pastor, North Star Church “Created a burning desire… to connect 100% of our church in discipleship groups.”

- Randy Smyre, Associate Pastor, Crossroads Church of the Nazarene, PA “Awesome ideas and insight as to the next step in moving our congregation towards 100% participation in community life.”

- Rhonda Schroder, Small Group Director, Cornerstone Church, MI “Will focus the vision for your small group ministry by giving you tested ideas and tools as well as new and fresh ideas from those who are in the trenches with you.”

-Rob Warnel “Within the first month has stimulated my thoughts, motivated my actions, filled me with new insights and challenged me to reach higher while depending more on God.” -Scott Roderick, Discipleship Pastor, First Christian, CA “Took us to a whole new level of joyful terror by showing us how to implement “blow-it-up” Small Group strategies.”

- Bruce Southerland, Pastor of Membership, Manchester Christian Church, NH “Caused me to think outside the box of my personal paradigm. The strategies and interaction with peers is invaluable.”

-Rex Raines, Pastor of Spiritual Formation, Crossroads Church, IL

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COACHING LIFETOGETHER Building a Healthy Small Group Ministry in Your Church

- BRETT EASTMAN President and Founder, Lifetogether

HELLo mY nAmE Is

Lifetogether Minstries 29801 Santa Margarita Pkwy. Ste 100 Rancho Santa Margarita, CA 92688 Brett@lifetogether.com

http://twitter.com/bretteastman1 Facebook.com/DoingLifeTogether

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COPYRIGHT

Coaching Lifetogether Copyright © 2002, 2005, 2011 by Brett Eastman Requests for information should be addressed to Lifetogether 29801 Santa Margarita Pkwy, Suite 100 RSM, CA, 92688 ISBN 978-0-9827022-7-7 Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright 1973, 1978, and 1984 by International Bible Society.

Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Scripture references marked The Message are taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © 1993,1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2005. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Company.

Book Design by Tommy Owen, Zoobuzz Media Multiple photos by Tanya Kay Photography, TanyaKayPhoto.com

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Table Of Contents:

Endorsements Welcome Letter Winning at Lifetogether 30 Day Reading Plan For Small Group Leaders and Coaches

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SESSIONS Session 1: Building The Heart of Your Groups For Life

Day 1: The Five “M’s” Every Leader Should Know

Day 2: The Coach’s Course

Day 3: Top 10 Ways to Introduce a New Series

Day 4: Looking for a Few Small Group Leaders”

Day 5: Coming to a Living Room near You!!

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Session 3: Mentor the Spiritual Health of Your Leaders and Small Groups

Day 11: Six Steps to Mentor Your Leaders and Their Groups

Day 12: Front Porch Community

Day 13: Healthy Members, Healthy Group

Day 14: Transformation Takes Time

Day 15: Five Essentials for Small Group Health

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Session 4: Motivate the Spiritual Gifts of Your Leaders and Small Groups

Day 16: Motivate Your Leaders to Develop Their Gifts

Day 17: Developing People

Day 18: The Group That Serves Together Grows Together

Day 19: Escaping the Pigeon Hole

Day 20: Opening Gifts Isn’t Just for Kids

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Session 5: Multiply the Spiritual Lives of Your Leaders and Small Groups

Day 21: Multiply the Good Life

Day 22: 10 Ways to Sustain Your New Small Groups

Day 23: Jiffy Pop for Your Groups

Day 24: Prayer for Purpose

Day 25: Open to the Talent Within

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Session 2: Minister to the Needs of Your Leaders and Small Groups

Day 6: Minister to the Needs of Your Leaders and Small Groups

Day 7: From Clique to Community

Day 8: Create a Caring Church

Day 9: Making Your Group Real ‘Friends’

Day 10: Leadership Honesty Breeds Group Honesty

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9 Session 6: Magnify Christ Together with Your Leaders and Small Groups

Day 26: The Surrender Factor

Day 27: Build Community Through Communion

Day 28: Whoop It Up

Day 29: What Have You Got Planned This Summer?

Day 30: Honor Your Leaders!

APPENDIX Coaching Answer Key Coaching FAQ’s Small Group Ministry Job Descriptions Coaching and Training Tools Coaching and Training Plans Coaching and Training Team Milestones Agenda for Community Leader Meeting Small Group Hosts: Ministry Description Sharing Your Story Small Group Covenant Small Group Calendar Personal Health Assessment Personal Health Plan Small Group Health Assessment Small Group Health Plan Spiritual Partner’s Check-In Page Small Group G.I.F.T. Development G.I.F.T.S. Profile Worksheet Leadership Training Leadership Lifters (Weekly Leadership Tips) Small Group Roster 60 Days through the New Testament 60 Days through the Gospels Hosting an Open House Small Group Leadership Reference Guide Small Group University - Building Leaders for Life Doing Lifetogether Foreword—Rick Warren Lifetogether Series About the Author Prayer and Praise Report

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WELCOME

Welcome to Small Group University, You are about ready to follow the simple path that the twelve disciples took some two thousand years ago that ultimately transformed the world.

Your simple step of faith may seem small now, but one day it could represent a link in the chain that will not only transform you life, your group and your church, but is sure to make a kingdom difference far greater than you could imagine. Small Group University provides you and your leaders a plug and play system to start and sustain healthy small groups based on the five biblical purposes. It is a breakthrough DVD and Companion 30-day study that helps “Build Leaders for Life.” Whether you are a new small group host, an existing group leader, a coach of a few leaders or a small group ministry leader, you have come to the right place.

Small Group University is composed of four unique training series: Hosting Lifetogether, Coaching Lifetogether, and Building Lifetogether and creating Lifetogether. Hosting Lifetogether trains new leaders in gathering and leading their first group. Coaching Lifetogether gives practical training to your existing leaders and their groups. Building Lifetogether gives practical and proven support to pastors and small group directors in building and growing their small group ministry. Creating Lifetogether is a ten session series on how to host your own 40-Day campaign in your church. Best of all, it provides pastors with everything they need to launch and lead a healthy small group ministry in their churches in less than 90 days.

Hosting, Coaching and Building Lifetogether include a 30-day reading plan as a companion to the six-session DVD training series. The series can be viewed in a classroom setting all at once, followed by brief discussion times, studied over a period of time with a few leaders or even on your own as on online study. Either way you chose, a downloadable certificate of completion is available to anyone who completes each of the series. Simply go to Lifetogether.com when you’re done and click “Small Group University,” where you will also find many other downloadable small group resources.

As you begin, simply pray as Paul did to see God accomplish what is exceedingly, abundantly beyond whatever you would ask or think.

Blessings,

Brett Eastman Founder and President, Lifetogether Small

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WINNING IN LIFETOGETHER God’s pathway for living a life of purpose In The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren writes, “God intends for us to experience life together. The Bible calls this fellowship … real fellowship is so much more than just showing up at services … It includes unselfish loving, honest sharing, practical serving, sacrificial giving, sympathetic comforting, and all the other ‘one another’ commands found in the New Testament.”

I had to learn that truth the hard way.

My philosophy of life was primarily shaped by my life experience. I grew up in a single parent home with my two older sisters, a cousin, a widowed aunt, and my mom, who worked her fingers to the bone, trying to make ends meet. Since my mom worked around the clock and my father showed up once a year at Christmas, usually drunk, I was on my own most of the time. I defined my success by accomplishments, acquiring things, and making money.

“Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto,” Warren writes in his book. But I didn’t, which made me believe that if I was going to succeed in life, I would have to do it on my own strength. I didn’t believe anyone else would be willing to help me—especially God. One day, a girl I had been dating for several years told me she had found Jesus. Because of that event, my life took a significant turn.

Reluctantly, I decided to join a few guys who were doing a Bible study on the life of Christ. I’d never talked openly about the Bible, Jesus, and what it meant to have a relationship with him.

Those five guys were so gracious with my cynical attitude, challenging questions, and fears about placing my trust in a God I couldn’t see. They could imagine how scary it was to trust a heavenly father after growing up with a very distant and disappointing earthly father.

Through the lives of those men, I was ambushed by the love of God, and I no longer wanted to do life alone. I wanted what they had—a relationship with God and other believers.

That year, my girlfriend, who is now my wife of over 20 years, saw me give my heart and life over to the one who gave us life together.

From that point on I was never the same. I redefined “winning in life.” It wasn’t about accomplishments, status, and money anymore, but about living a healthy and balanced life of purpose, best achieved by:

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2. Growing in my spiritual journey through the encouragement and accountability of a few friends to help me be more like Christ (discipleship).

3. Developing my unique SHAPE for the purpose of ministry to others, not just my own selfish ambitions (ministry).

4. Sharing my life mission with others, because it’s scary and difficult to do alone (evangelism).

5. Surrendering my heart to God and others for prayer and support as an act of worship to God (worship).

Grow and Go After being in that group only a few months, my leaders asked if I would be willing to “grow and go” to the next level in my walk with God. He said, “You really don’t know if you have it until you give it away.”

He encouraged me to do as Jesus did—create my own circle of friends by asking God whom he wanted me to connect with and deciding whom I would enjoy spending time with for at least six weeks. He challenged me to call the few people God brought to mind, as a step of faith.

I was just crazy enough to do it—and the rest is history. Two of those men asked Christ into their lives, and several others became lifetime friends.

One of them even stood as the best man in my wedding.

Maybe you’re not in a group, but have been inspired by reading The Purpose Driven Life.

You know that God wants you to be transformed by the purposes for life. This transformation process begins when you ask the question, “What am I going to do today with what he has revealed to me?”

Start by connecting with a few friends in a small group or establishing a spiritual partnership with a friend. Here is a simple ABC strategy to make your connection happen today.

Ask God, “who?” With whom does God want you to learn, share, grow, and apply God’s

truths? Think of your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, schoolmates, and anyone else God brings to mind. Also, consider who you would enjoy spending time with for a few weeks. Write the names down as God brings them to mind.

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would be willing to share their thoughts and ideas with you for a few weeks.

Once one person says yes, you may be tempted to limit it to just the two of you. However, by inviting a few others, you have created a meeting you all look forward to each week. Most people you ask have one or two other friends who would love to join, too.

Remember, you don’t need 20, 10, or even 5 people for a sufficient group. The Bible says, “Where two or more have gathered, he is in their midst.” The important thing is that you start with at least one other person so you can “do life together.”

Check out curriculum. For

many people, a study book may give them all they need to interact, but others might benefit from a DVD or video teaching series; these keep discussion flowing.

Once you choose the curriculum, you may want to host an open house for your members and preview the series you choose. At this point, they can also pick up and take home the curriculum.

God desires each of us to live a good life, but he never intended us to live it alone.

He modeled this with the 12 disciples. It’s fascinating that many of my Christian friends (and even church leaders) ride alone like the Lone Ranger, missing out on the joy of deeper and more significant relationships with the body of Christ.

I’m ashamed to admit I have done this as well during different seasons of my life. Even after serving as the Small Group Champion at both Willow Creek and Saddleback Church, it took my wife and me several years before we created a new circle of friends. Now, I would do anything for them as they would for me.

“Doing my life” with others has taught me some of life’s greatest lessons—especially that winning in life is best experienced not alone, but together.

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A 30 DAY reading plan

for small group LEADERS AND COACHES

Henry Nouwen speaks to spiritual leaders and challenges them to consider a path to ministry that first starts in solitude with God. He says that effective and lasting ministry for God comes from a quiet place alone with God. This is why this 30day journey is so important.

The “Great Adventure” of all our lives is simply found in the daily pursuit of knowing, growing, serving, sharing, and worshiping Christ forever.

This is the essence of a purposeful life, to see all five biblical purposes fully formed and balanced in our lives. It’s in the balance that we achieve health which ultimately leads us to the spiritual growth we all long for as believers. It’s the simple focus on Paul’s words to the early church when he said “to present every man and woman complete in Christ” we need to be clear about seeing all five Biblical purposes fully formed in our lives.

You and I both know this doesn’t just happen. It takes a clear sense of purpose, planning, and encouragement from others. This journal is designed to give you and your group a tool to help in the process of forming Christ deep within your heart and the hearts of your people.

David poured his heart out to God in writing what we know today as the book of Psalms. That book contains his honest conversations with God in written form. They included every imaginable emotion, and integration of Old Testament scriptures and simple reflections on every aspect of his life. I want to encourage you to carve out a few minutes to pray and plan the first steps in this journal. You can begin by reading the first story, reflection and leadership lesson, and then write down your thoughts, questions, or heart felt response to God. Don’t be afraid to connect with Him and listen for those things He will place on your heart. He is your maker, and knows your every thought!

This Reading Plan is designed to apply the basic habits of reading God’s word and responding to it, to create a more intimate walk with Christ. A few simple suggestions as you begin . . . as David did, select a source or strategy to integrate God’s Word into your devotional time. Some helpful resources are: The Bible, The One Year Bible, New Testament Bible Challenge Reading Plan, Devotional Book, and Topical Bible Study plan.

Enjoy . . .

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Session 1

Building the Heart of Your Groups for Life OBJECTIVE to cast the vision for small group leaders and coaches, to inspire, encourage and motivate their leaders build healthy small groups that balance the five purposes.

1. The HISTORY of a Coach C_______________________ C_______________________ C_______________________ C_______________________

2. The HEART of the Coach H________________that are open before God E_______________in connecting with others A___________ to minister to others.

R_ _____________ leader T_ _____________ from anyone

3. The HANDS of a Coach The Next Five Sessions: #2: M ____________ to the Needs of Your Leaders and Members. #3: M ____________ the Spiritual Health of Your Leaders and Members. #4: M ____________ the Spiritual Gifts of Your Leaders and Members. #5: M ____________ the Spiritual Lives of Your Leaders and Members. #6: M ____________ Christ Together with Your Leaders and Members.

4. The HABITS of a Coach (ABC) A_________________ B_ ________________ C_________________

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The HOPE of a Coach

“Care for the flock of God that is entrusted to you,” (1 Peter 5:2). Your flock is not just the five leaders or fifty leaders or whatever it might be in between. It is really the members behind them—the congregation that God has given you.

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Write down a few practical next steps based on the teaching in this series.

______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

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The five “M’s” every leader should know Minister to the needs of your leaders and members.

Okay, so that may seem obvious, but one of the critical roles of a small group leader is to shepherd the people in your group. Does the word “shepherd” scare you? It shouldn’t. God has provided you with the gifts and abilities to care for those in your small group.

In a healthy small group, the members, as well as the leaders, must be “healthy.” In fact, I would say that the success of your small group depends on its health. A healthy small group integrates all 5 biblical purposes into its life but it’s the leader’s job to establish the biblical purpose of “fellowship” within the first few weeks of your group’s existence.

As the small group leader, you need to pray for and “love on” each member of the group. That means making sure people feel connected with other members in the group, being attentive to what people say in the group - perhaps, for example, you may sense after the first several meetings that one couple in the group is struggling in their marriage. Your job as a leader is to pray for them. After you develop a deeper friendship with the couple, you may even suggest talking to a pastor or Christian counselor.

My point, simply, is that as the shepherd of the small group you need “eyes” to see the needs of your group.

Mentor the spiritual health of your leaders and members.

An effective small group leader seeks to cultivate the spiritual habits of his or her group.

And how do you do that?

You must first know the condition of your “sheep”-those under your care. In the back of your mind, as you lead the group, you need to ask this for each person in the group, “What is the next step in his or her spiritual maturity?”

For an unmarried couple who is living together, they need to get married! That’s their next logical step in obedience to Christ. For others, it may be baptism. Others may need to learn how to give or focus on their family or attend church more regularly or step up their service in the church or community.

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You, as the leader of the group, must model this principle. It’s the “trickle down” approach to spiritual maturity. What your members see in you is what they begin to emulate in their lives.

Do your members know what your spiritual gifts are? Do they know you have the gift of leadership? Have you described to them your pathway in becoming a small group leader?

Are your group members growing in their gifts? Where are they serving now? Where should they be serving in 6 months or a year?

One of the key “shepherding” functions of a small group leader is to motivate each member to harness his or her spiritual gifts for service in God’s kingdom.

Multiply the spiritual lives of your leaders and members.

It’s not enough for your members to stay members. Every member must become a multiplier— to multiply their life through passing on the faith to others, through starting a new small group, through training others to assist in the development of the small group.

As a small group leader, your vision must be to see your group collectively—and its members individually—to take the next logical step in development. There must always be movement— growth towards reaching the mission of God’s kingdom.

That may mean training another set of leaders to launch another small group. Or it may mean making sure the “empty chair” is always filled. Or, it may mean that you challenge group members to make a difference in their daily lives or profession.

Your role is to pour your life into your group members, so that they will pour their lives into others.

Magnify Christ Together with your leaders and members.

Pride and arrogance and worldly leadership have no place in a small group. Never forget that what is happening in your group is the work of God Almighty. Not you.

If your leadership is effective, if your shepherding is making a difference in the lives of your members, expect spiritual warfare. That is, expect conflict, struggles, and trials. Satan loves to strangle healthy small groups through, for example, petty conflicts among members.

That’s when you, the leader, need most to model a surrendered, humble attitude.

God works best in our weakness—when things are blowing apart—that’s when God is strong.

What is your Isaac? That is, what do you need to lay down on the altar to be consumed by the fire of God’s presence? God loves the confessions and prayers of a broken and contrite heart.

Worship God no matter what your circumstances with a thankful and hopeful heart. Your soul—and the very health of your small group—is at stake.

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The Coach’s Course

What you need to know to lead leaders.

Without a guy named John, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

He was my coach of the first small group I led. When my confidence was waning or I was tired of leading, he came alongside me and said, “I believe you can do it.” That meant the world to me. Everybody loves hearing that they can make it.

He also repeatedly said, “I’ll help you. I’ll walk alongside of you, and you can come to me when you have questions and concerns or need prayer and support.”

But when I left college, I no longer had John to coach me. Nobody came alongside of me. It was kind of lonely. Sometimes I got discouraged, lost focus, and wondered what it would be like to have someone champion me.

There’s a lot of resources for leaders. And there’s a lot of helpful content for members. But there is not much out there for leaders of leaders, who are left thinking, Who’s leading me to lead? and How do I lead? The acrostic COACH highlights the essentials for coaching leaders.

1. Cultivate spiritual health.

Your purpose is to nurture your small group leaders’ and members’ spiritual health. When you love and nurture the spiritual health of your leaders, then they will do the same for their group.

It is important to begin with the end in mind, and the end goal is that we create healthy groups that produce healthy spiritual lives. This often demands becoming your leaders’ partner, checking in with them about what’s going on with their group.

2. One step ahead, one step at a time.

Sometimes coming on board as Coach can be a little bit daunting. You question, “Why me? I don’t think I’m spiritually ready.” But you only need to be one step ahead of the people that you’re seeking to lead. You don’t have to be miles ahead, because we’re all on a spiritual journey. Remember, you can’t expect to give your leaders that which you haven’t been given first.

3. Ask your leaders questions.

Sometimes coaches get into a position where their leaders don’t know who they are or what their role is. To get to a point where your leaders know and trust you, it’s important to call them up and ask questions, like: How are you doing? How can I serve you? Do you have any needs that I can help out with? Leaders need to share what is going on in their groups, and coaches need to be available to listen to and serve them.

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Before you end a conversation with a leader, always ask how you can pray for them. If you are comfortable, pray with them right then. Praying for them in the moment—not just saying you will pray for them—builds trust and confidence. While leaders may not be willing to meet with you every week for a Bible study, they want to hear from and be heard by you.

3. Connect with leaders regularly.

Though it takes some planning, it is important that you weekly meet with your group of leaders in huddles. For six weeks, go through a study together, spending 30 minutes on Bible study and 30 minutes on discussion. This is a great way for you to connect with your leaders as well and cultivate their spiritual health while building in mutual support from other group leaders.

4. Help your leaders find spiritual partners.

Every believer has spiritual goals and dreams, and to achieve these, we need partners. As a coach you can’t meet every one of your leaders’ spiritual needs, but you can connect them with people who can help.

One of the most catalytic things you can do as a coach is ask them who they would like their mentor to be. You may not know who it is, but they do. Your job is to help them connect.

Another good way to connect leaders with spiritual partners is to pair each leader up with another leader from your huddle. When you get together for your weekly huddles, the partners break out and touch base, set spiritual goals, and pray for each other.

And remember, spiritual partners are most often peer partners—not pastors or people in ministry—who similarly desire to go deeper in their spiritual journey. Connecting your leaders with spiritual partners is one of the most profound things you can do to help get people in the Word and working on the goals to which God has called them.

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Discover the power of curriculum 1. Call leaders one by one – you will find 8 out of 10 new groups will follow your recommendations…at least for awhile – so while you can keep them studying the purposes.

Even your existing groups will take a look at the DVD if you call and ask them to just “test drive” the material for one week. The rest will be history. Either take their order over the phone and have them pick it up on the weekend or offer to give them one DVD and study guide. You may also want to give a sampler set to each leader as a way to say thank you and to strongly encourage their group to study the series.

2. Host a leaders meeting, huddle, training or potluck – whatever it takes to get your leaders to show up. Then share the vision for the next series or even the entire year of curriculum.. Ask them all to at least test drive or pilot the new series…watch their hearts and minds open up.

Pass out the group sign up sheets or simply ask those to order the series you want or they want and expect an advance commitment that evening or upon delivery of the series. In other words you can pre-order the series or ask for payment up front. It really cleans up the exchange of cash with a group and ensures them stay in the purposes together.

3. Show two minute promotional video – there is a two minute promotional on every DVD for each of the six books in the series. This could be used as an announcement with the sign up card in the bulletin on the weekend in your small group or Sunday school class. You can even sign up new group members at the same time. You want to hold up the workbooks during the announcement and have them sign up and turn in the registration or material request cards in the service or meeting. Then order the material from us on Monday and we will get it to you for distribution within a few weeks.

4. Use a testimony or teaching point – Rick Warren was the master at this on the weekend.

He called it “Purpose Driven Preaching” where he used a testimony or teaching point to emphasize a value or life application. In this case use the biblical basis for community or a life that was touched by community or how easy the DVD was to lead their community. Either way this has a much greater response than any announcement.

5. Set up a small group resource table – this one idea could serve dual purposes. First for signing up new members and second, recruiting and resourcing your existing group leaders.

This new blockbuster video small group series allow any member to go out to the small group table and pick up any series, grab a few friends and they’re off to the races. Purchase a set of “sample” materials for the resource table and challenge them to go to the table to sign up or show up from time to time.

6. Send the Personal Life Health Assessment to every leader, group and/or church. Then ask them to study the series their group feels they have the greatest need and motivation to study.

Don’t let them go on to whatever non-purpose driven curriculum they desire. This is your

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chance to take the purposes from a taste of the purposes to being transformed by the purposes.

7. Align the series with the weekend services in either mid-January, late February, after Easter, mid September or first of November. The best time for alignment in order of impact is September, then January and then, after Easter. This also gives you a chance to draw the net another time for new members, hosts and without this approach every other weekend.

8. Pilot, Pilot, Pilot – call a few key families, elders or opinion leaders in your church. Ask if they and/or their group would host a model group for six weeks. Most would be honored and later will serve as the one story you need to tell in the services, Sunday School classes and every small group leader you meet. Best of all, they get behind the campaign, volunteer recruitment, finances and promotion of the new series.

9. Model this with your life – the number one thing I could say to a Senior Pastor, pastoral staff, member or small group champion is to model the lifestyle of purpose driven small groups.

Out of this the stories will flow, conviction will build and the entire congregation will soon follow. You don’t even have to be in one just yet, just be able to say you will. This is especially true when you launch your first series, kick off the New Year or introduce a 40 Day of Purpose Campaign.

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Looking for a few small group leaders?

Four proven ways to find leaders with HEART

“The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” Matthew 9:31 (kiv) “i didn’t think i could do it. but i found out i could. it’s not as hard as you think you just have to have a willing heart.” - anonymous When you think of sharing your life mission in the world does it conjure up images of far away places and remote people groups? Do you equate the mission field with being in africa or asia? For most of us the mission field begins right here where we live. In our families. On the job. With our neighbors. And yes, even a church. Every church is an outreach ministry to all who live in the community next door.

Churches are an oasis in the midst of lives filled with the demands of a fast paced, highpressured life styles. The church allows us to connect to God and to each other. And at the heart of this connection is the small group community, a circle of friends that help you live your life on purpose, helping you fulfill God’s dream for your life.

Small groups enable a large church to be personal, to be able to touch the lives of individuals through relationships and at the heart of a small group is a host/leader. But how on earth do you ever get enough of them?

While I served as the small group champion on the Saddleback staff we saw an incredible outpouring of God’s spirit on our church family. In just a matter of months we saw literally thousands of people get connected under the care of a small group leader. And yet there were still 50% of church families that were not connected under the care of a shepherd. As you well know there are millions of people in america who really are headed for the most part for a Christ-less eternity unless we find a way to find a shepherd to care for them. Pastor Rick Warren cast the vision of Jesus, who wanted to find “a shepherd for every one of his sheep”.

And Rick cast it at a moment that was remembered in the purpose driven life campaigns that raised up literally thousands of people. 40 Days of Purpose offered a process to challenge ordinary member to host a six week group with extraordinary results. You can send an email, share one on one or best of all share on a weekend service the essence of the following message: Small group leaders/hosts are people like you. You don’t have to be a spiritual giant, a Bible scholar or even a great orator. You just have to have a willing heart. Scripture teaches us that the Father searches across the earth seeking whose heart is fully his. And ultimately it’s ordinary people used by an extraordinary God who cultivates their hearts one for another, trying to make a difference one life at a time. If you might be a candidate to help host or lead a Small

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few, let me just give you a simple frame using the acrostic heart to explain what we think might be the essence of a person who could really care for a few others.

1. Hands that are open before God. If your hands are open saying, Father, these are ordinary hands but i want you to use these hands in this life to be able to touch the life of another not admitting greatness other than his goodness and his work in your life. It’s the spirit of the Jabez person saying Father you can do more in me if I am willing to be here in this place with you. Are your hands open before God? 2. Experienced in connecting with others. Not for long but for a season. Especially target those of you who are in small group, Sunday School class and even a part of an active church ministry. They have seen God work in your midst in ways that aren’t just about cultivating connection with one another or growing in your spiritual journey but also helping to discover each other’s shape for ministry even as this video may help. Also helping each other is cover how you can share your life missions in the world and maybe reproduce your life in another. But it is not just about being in community and experiencing community.

3. It’s also through being available before the Father. Are you willing to be used by God in a way that you never thought that you could be? You’re saying, no it’s not just my life, it’s not just my time but you’re willing to say, Father with your hands and your availability for God you went back and put your hands against the cross for me. Because you’ve been blessed in order to be a blessing in the life of others. That’s ultimately the purpose and the path of life. Would you be available? Are you?

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25 4. The next is that you’re Reluctant. As you look at the character of David or look at the character of Moses who had five good reasons why he didn’t think he would be God’s man for the moment. God said you are. And he reminded Peter three different times to shepherd My sheep. It’s people who are hesitant who are many times the best candidates.

They may be reluctant but they are certainly bright and that might be you today. You know others in your circle that might be a candidate for that as well. We’ll give you an opportunity to talk about it in a moment.

5. Last one and probably the most important one is that you’re Teachable. Are you willing to listen to the still small voice of Jesus in your life, to move away from sin, to move towards a listening moment for a few others whether it’s a neighbor, whether it’s a workmate, whether it’s a little circle like the one that you’re in, we need people who are willing to be teachable and responsive to God. Like the clay that is on the potters wheel being willing to be brought into something magnificent beyond what they can do on their own. Ultimately it’s all about the heart.

Jesus looked over the multitude and saw the need for finding a host/leader for every sheep. His own small group is a model for not only caring for the sheep but of cultivating an unlimited harvest of host/leaders. As a church grows there is an increasing opportunity for more small groups. But in order for this to happen, every church needs hundreds of current members and small group leaders to be willing to share the gift that they have been given.

As a result of this need you need to ask your congregation for one of four simple responses to it your ASK: 1. That you might have been called or you might be led by God to host a few others. All you need to ask is that you check the little box on the card you provide and then have them come to a rally you have in the next couple weeks to give them “just in time” training and resources.

2. Ask if they may be willing to join a team of people to host a group. There might be somebody else that feels ready but not ready to do it alone. Or you may know somebody else that could join you in that endeavor.

3. The third one is that they would be willing to consider doing this a little bit later, maybe the year is starting off a little fast. That’s ok. It’s not a matter of if but when and with whom that they might “shepherd” a few for Jesus.

4. Then the last one and most important ask just like Matthew 9 speaks, that everyone would be willing to pray for those who would go forth and take that huge step of faith to host a group. We know that God has a plan for every church and ultimately for the world.

And as a result of asking your congregation to step out in faith, we believe that Jesus is going to raise up an army of folks that want to go off and give away that which they have been given and entrusted.

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Coming to a Living Room near You!!

When was the last time you watched a movie at home with your family and a few friends? Did you call the church office to decide whose house you would go to? Did you ask your pastor who to invite?

Probably not!

If you are like most people, you just drove over to your local video store, checked out a movie, and called a friend or two. If that’s the case for most Christians, then why do we go to so much trouble signing people up to get into small groups and matching them with a small group leader?

Do we not trust them to invite the “right” people? To turn on a DVD or VCR? Or do our church attendees and members not have any friends, family, neighbors or co-workers they would like to hang out with for a few weeks studying a DVD-driven Bible study?

I realize this may be a new idea, but ironically it better follows Jesus’ model for forming his own small group community with the 12 disciples. First he spent time with a number of “Christ followers” getting to know them and discerning whether they would be the ones he “asked” to join his own group. Then the Bible says he prayed overnight to confirm if they were the ones, and then the next day he simply asked them to come with him.

The model followed a simple A-B-C plan to create your own community and to not do your life alone but to do life together in community with a few other friends and family.

Discover the ABCs of Jesus’ small group strategy: A – Ask God who he wants you or even is calling you to connect with. Reflect on the fact that this is not about a 40 Day journey but a simple but intentional step. God, from the model of the Trinity, to the way he modeled ministry through Jesus, showed us it was a healthy balance of alone to pray and meditate but also a clear call to not do ministry alone but to do ministry and life together!

Practically, a senior pastor delivers a message on community on a Sunday morning to set up the vision, asking everyone to follow Jesus’ model of doing life together. Whether it’s 40 Days of Purpose, 40 Days of Community, or any other curriculum series, the formula is the same.

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The first approach is to say, “Think about your lists in life.” An obvious one is your cell phone list. Ask them -- for the first time in the church’s life -- to turn on their cell phones and look at their contact list. Have them scroll through and pick up a few names. What about their address list at home on the Christmas card list, sports team list, PTA list, neighborhood list, school list, on and on?

Take these lists and have your congregation consider who they would enjoy getting together with for just six weeks. Have them start a list right there in the service! After a moment of prayerful reflection, challenge them by asking, “Would you follow Jesus’ model?” People respond out of obedience, out of a longing to belong, or a desire to help the pastor and their church reach out and extend the circle to a few others. Don’t make this about the cause as much as about the “call to community.”

B – Begin calling the names of the 3-5-8-12 names God gave you. The beauty of this model is that it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when you are going to do it and who you’re going to call. You’ve taken care of the if by saying you want to grow like Jesus did. That brings us to the question of when. If everybody’s doing a campaign that kicks off in two weeks, you have two weeks to promote this on the weekend.

Trust me on this one, if you give them a message on the value of community from any message in your files, you will be amazed by what happens. Simply say, “All I’m asking you to do is be

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28 willing to call the names that God just gave you in the next 24 to 36 hours.” You minimize the “ask” in order to maximize the response. Say to them, “Come on. You can put up with anyone for just six weeks -- many of you have spouses that have to live with you for a lifetime.”

Challenge them to go home and call two or three people today! Most people will at least get one yes within 24 hours, and then they are committed. Remind them that these groups don’t have be big, they just need to begin with a man or woman of faith -- not seminary professors or pastors, just a few friends. The Scripture says “Where two or more are gathered (not 22 or even 12 like Jesus).”

Have them turn in names they write down on their pages, collect them, and then have the staff pray for them during the week. This will show you are in this with them. You can’t ask them to do something you’re not willing to do. When you have a day of fasting and prayer for those names, it will be one of the most emotional days your staff has ever had.

C – Check out the curriculum they can use for the six weeks series. Whether you do sermon alignment or not, still challenge them to pick up a sampler a (DVD/VCR and study guide) as they walk out of the service today. One church put the material in gift bags and had people come up front, like an altar call. In a church of 1,600, they handed out 220 DVD/study guide sampler kits. I went to this church the next weekend and trained over 250 hosts/leaders.

For those pastors and church leaders reading this, let me just say, “You can do this!” And it’s possible to do it over the next few weeks. Any one of the Purpose Driven™ six-week curriculum series would work. I just suggest a sermon alignment either before Easter or after Easter.

You might want to use one of the ministry or evangelism series (Rick Warren’s or Doing Life Together) before Easter to prepare your congregation for the after-Easter assimilation series.

After Easter, I recommend any “open” curriculum series on fellowship, discipleship themes, or typical series like John Ortberg’s or Phillip Yancy’s six-session DVD series.

For those who want to focus on the Easter theme, the three week Purpose Driven Passion series would also be an excellent choice either before or after Easter along with the Experiencing Christ Together series by Lifetogether.

My experience with this “blockbuster” idea is that more than 20% of adults will do this if the senior pastor or small group champion simply stands up and challenges the congregation to go for it. This can be done in the middle of a message and illustrated by a testimony or two.

What percentage of your adults do you think will respond to a call that came out of a message casting vision for whatever campaign using whatever series you are going to do? I have asked this question to senior pastors and church leaders for almost a year, the number is always between 50% and 75%.

If you do a good job casting Jesus’ vision and talk about the value of community, the benefits of community you will be amazed.

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Session 2

MINISTER to the needs of your leaders and small groups

OBJECTIVE “David led them with the skill of a leader and the heart of a shepherd.”

Psalm 78:72 M___________ them feel loved and served by you.

Call them, send a note, help them; show them your gratitude.

Get to know them. Let them feel heard and loved People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

I �������������� them in something weekly. A huddle, email exchange, a meeting to check in with them on how their group are doing.

N______________ give up! God works in his own ways.

I____________ on praying in the moment. Stop and pray when the moment/opportunity presents itself.

S ��������������� your hurts and hopes with your leaders and members. Share with them who you are. This will make you ordinary and approachable.

T_______________ them for serving with you. Be God’s voice and appreciate them.

E_______________ them in some small way. OFTEN!

R_ _____________ them of their value. How others are benefiting from their leadership and Small

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Write down a few practical next steps based on the teaching in this series.

______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

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Minister to the Needs of Your Leaders and Small Groups Sally had been leading a small group for a few months when Jane, her small group coach, called her.

Sally thought, that’s her job to call me; she really doesn’t care, and consequently, didn’t connect with her. A week later, Jane called again. This time Sally thought she was really nice but still was just doing her job.

Jane had to call Sally eight times before she believed Jane actually cared and wanted a relationship with her. As a leader, Sally was slow to warm up, slow to trust, and a little insecure. Had Jane given up on try seven, Sally may have given up on leadership and missed out on an edifying relationship with Jane. Jane went the distance and never gave up.

As a small group champion, you can never give up on your leaders. Stay as faithful as possible when ministering to your leaders. At the height of your frustration, you may think, these people don’t need me, but they do. But in order to minister to them, you have to crack their heart’s code. In the end, people don’t care how much you know, to use the worn phrase, until they know how much you care.

Here are seven steps to help you show your leaders how much you care: Make them feel loved People are not interested in instruction, tools, and nifty tips until they know you care about them.

What are some things we can do? Call them, send a loving e-mail, a personal note card, or Instant Message them. Grab lunch together. Bring them a meal or mow their lawn if they just had a baby.

Baby-sit when they need a break. It’s as simple as asking, “How can I serve you?” For everyone it is a bit different, and since you’re not a mind reader, just ask.

Include them in something weekly If you send out a broadcast email to all your leaders, don’t expect them to feel personally cared for.

However, they will feel your care if you send them a personal e-mail — one that shares a little bit about what God is doing in your life, a devotional, or a Bible verse that you sense God maybe wanted them to hear. Openness elicits openness.

If you don’t receive a reply, call them or set up a lunch date. When you connect, be “all ears”: hear their spiritual story; get the latest and greatest of what’s going on in their group; and, let them share their prayer requests. If you get an answering machine, as goofy as it sounds, try leaving a prayer, which let’s them know you are praying for them.

Insist on praying in the moment I don’t know about you, but I used to always say, “I’ll pray for you.” But then I would forget. So one guy encouraged me to stop and pray right there in the moment. Even if you’re on the phone, ask if you can pray for them right then and there.

However, in order to pray for them, you need to be connected with them. One of the most practical ways you can do this is by visiting their group. You might think, “Visit their group? They don’t want

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32 me to come.” But arrive a half hour early and talk with them, see how you can support them. When the group convenes, say, “I want to take a moment and pray for your leader and ask God to continue to bless them as they lead you.” That prayer shows your dependence on and your desire to gain God’s strength to be able to help them.

During your leadership huddles, it is also important to model praying in the moment. Often coaches come prepared with an agenda, but you can toss the agenda when someone is in need. As a group, rise up, lay hands on them, and pray for them right then and there.

Share your hurts and hopes When coaches do this, leaders are more likely to do so also. It shows them you are an ordinary person, with similar pains and joys, and that you don’t know the answer to every question they have. Let them know you struggle in your faith, have battles with your kids, have arguments in your marriage, and have problems at work.

Paul said God’s power is perfected in our weakness. Just the other day I was struggling to get up and go work on a project. I just sat there, and after pressing my timer about 25 times, I finally said, “Lord, I’m stuck. I’m struggling so much!” In that moment, I felt God moved me. Such stories model dependency on God, and your leaders are more likely to model that same dependency in their own small groups.

Thank them for serving New leaders have a deep desire to be affirmed and appreciated, and rightly so. Never end a conversation without looking them in the eye and saying, “Thanks. It’s always great to see you. I appreciate what you’re doing.”

It isn’t easy to always remember this, but it matters more than you may ever know. It often is the one thing that keeps someone in the game for a little bit longer. The Bible says to be thankful in all things and to encourage one another, especially as you see the day drawing near. And Paul repeatedly thanks his fellow believers in Christ throughout his letters: “I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for you.” He always modeled gratitude, and we ought to model it to our leaders.

Envision them in some small way Once you earn their trust and the right to speak, it is important to share your senior pastor’s dream for the church and also cast a vision for them to spiritually reproduce their life. Help them develop a dream beyond their group. At least challenge them to welcome a few new people into their group. It will help bring new life into their circle.

Remind them of their value This a little bit different than thanking them. Instead, you are reminding them that what they are doing matters. Sometimes your leaders will feel burned out, stressed, and overwhelmed. They need to be reminded of their value and that they were called to lead. Even though they may feel weary of leading, they have been called by God to do so. As leaders of leaders, we continually remind them of why they are doing what they are doing.

A pastor whom I know gave and gave and gave of his life -- and had been doing so for a long time. He was going through a quiet phase in his life work as pastor. Our small group made a plaque on which a passage of Scripture was engraved. We surprised him with a huge party, and when he walked through the door he was immediately moved to tears. It made me see that no matter who we are -- no matter what stage we are in our journey -- we all need to know that we are loved, valued, and making a difference.

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From Clique to Community Why your groups must step out of their boats

You’ve seen them walk by. The “cooler than thou” group. The group that everyone in the church wants to be a part of and everyone outside of the church blames as the reason why they don’t come.

Most of us became aware of cliques in high school: the preps, the jocks, the high-achievers, and the rockers, to name a few. Ancient cliques included groups like the Pharisees, Sadducees, and the Hellenists, who condemned everyone and only enjoyed the company of each other.

We know how cruel kids can be, but we forget that church members and leaders can be just as coldhearted and narrow-minded.

When our mindset is not one of multiplying people who disciple others and mentors, then we miss out on one of the most fundamental assets of the church: an individual’s capacity to minister to another individual. We know that not everyone is called to be a teacher or a leader, but every member is called to minister.

We’re reminded of this in 1 Peter 2:9: “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

Inside out and out of the boat Small groups within the church have the tendency to keep themselves from turning “inside out.” We’re afraid to reach out to new people. When we have community, we have a safe, secure, and friendly lifeboat. But this lifeboat isn’t just for us. It’s for everyone else who needs a lifeboat also. They’re reaching out with interests, wants, and needs. Yet, we’re often not willing to open up the boat because it may interfere with our own community.

It all starts with a better plan, different from sitting around in a boat waiting for the desperate to come to us. The disciples abandoned years of tried friendship with each other to split up and reach the farthest corners of the world for Christ. It may be risky and at times lonely, but it is our calling.

One key is to seek people who are hungry. They need the gospel. Encourage your small group members to bring friends and invite occasional strangers God may drop in our paths. This will keep the group fresh in ministry and its composition.

Ultimately, though, we must believe that God will preserve the gains we’ve made and help us move toward a community that includes people that weren’t included before. That is the model of Jesus, and it is his calling for all our small group ministries.

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Create a Caring Church

3 ways your small group can show love to the body of Christ If you want to create a church community that really cares for one another, the best way to do it is through small groups. When small groups become the vehicle for care-giving, the whole church gets involved in sharing one another’s burdens—a much more personal approach than relegating the task to a committee.

The whole congregation should be making hospital visits, taking meals to people when they’re sick or something’s happened, doing childcare when someone’s in crisis and giving money when somebody’s lost a job.

The best way to make this happen is to get everyone in groups where they love and care about each other. Then just as it is with family, members do these kinds of things naturally. This is really just another example of how small groups become like extended family. And as many of us live far away from our blood relatives in this day and age, we really need that kind of connection with people.

However, for this kind of caring church to be created, it’s got to start with the pastor. He’s got to cast the vision. He’s got to encourage the congregation to get into small groups so they can learn to care for each other. And the best way to do this is for him to be in a small group himself. The church needs to see that he, along with the rest of the church’s leadership, values the model.

Once people begin to catch the vision for this kind of caring community, there are a few principles that should be emphasized: 1. Quality time with the people in your group is the key to success. This is especially important for leaders to remember, but it holds true for every group member. The more time you can spend with people, the greater impact you can have in their lives. You have to earn the right with people to mentor them, lead them and challenge them. The way you earn that right is by spending time with them and showing you are sincerely interested in them. And the way you do that is by showing up and showing up and showing up. I know that’s difficult today. There are a million reasons why people would say, “Yeah, that sounds great, but I have this and this in my schedule.” I believe, though, it’s an issue of prioritizing what’s really important. And spending time with people is critical.

2. You have to be committed to loving the people in your group. Somebody once said to me, “There are two kinds of people in the world: the ones you know and love and the ones you don’t know yet.” We have to consider that everybody has a story, a reason why he or she became who he or she is. If we will take the time and energy to get to know their stories, we will be more likely to love even those who are difficult to love. This really takes us back to the first point—the importance of spending time with people. That is, of course, what it will take to get to know and love them.

3. Small group members should live in a close enough geographic area so they can spend this time together. This can enable them to interact with one another, doing everyday kinds of things. It doesn’t have to be a planned situation. If you live close enough, then your kids end up going to the same schools, and you find yourself running into one another at the grocery store.

Then you can have a five-minute conversation here and there and make a difference in each other’s lives.

Jesus said the world would know us as his followers by the love we show for one another. When we make caring for the body of Christ a priority—helping one another through difficulties and loving one another deeply—the world will notice we’re different and want to know why.

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Making your group real ‘Friends’ Seven principles for deepening small group relationships

Don’t we all long to be a part of something fun, exciting, and life-giving?

The sitcom Friends captured this desire. Every week, 50 million people watched six actors pretend to have relationships with one another. Its popularity was fueled by the deep longing we all have to be connected in community.

The advertising world has caught on to this yearning as well. MCI promises to connect us with “friends and family.” The felt need is clear. But the real need is found in the biblical word, koinonia, which means “fellowship.” God’s plan from the beginning was that each one of us would belong to a spiritual community, where we all would be known and we would know others.

How can we create a community like this? How can we connect with one another?

Here are seven principles to help you CONNECT with the people in your group and to help them connect with one another: 1. Create a “one-another” community. In the New Testament there are more than 50 different references to “one another”: love one another, bear one another’s burdens, pray for one another, serve one another. This can’t happen only on Sunday mornings; it needs to happen in other settings, like small groups.

Once you’ve invited your circle of friends and they show up, remember you don’t have to be a Bible scholar to create a one-another community. Your job is to ask the questions, look around the room, and wait for someone to respond. When someone voices a response, affirm them, no matter what they say. Don’t feel like you have to answer every one of the questions yourself. It’s like a ping-pong game: just get it started and keep the ball in play.

Another way to create a one-another community upfront is to schedule socials and meals together.

Pull families together and get to know each other. Schedule casual gatherings, like a pizza dinner, before the meeting starts. During this time, your group has time to check in on prayer requests.

Throughout the six weeks, rotate homes, so that people embrace the group as their own.

2. Open your heart. Being authentic lets your group know you don’t have it all together either.

When we communicate openness, that makes it safer for everybody else to be open as well. It’s healthy to say, “You know, that’s a good question. I don’t know,” or “I’m not sure.”

You are the role model, and they’ll follow your example. When you’re authentic, your group will be more authentic.

3. Naturally group members together for deeper discussion. It’s important that every meeting permits discussion time. When your group gets larger than seven, it’s more difficult for everyone to share. So break into discussion groups of three to four people. The more airtime an individual has, the greater the life application -- and that’s when you’ll see lives transformed.

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36 Also, this allows time for people to share prayer requests. You don’t want to get halfway around the room during prayer request time and suddenly say, “Oops, we ran out of time.” Break into smaller groups so you have time to share prayer requests, as well as pray for one another.

Remember: When people feel heard, they feel loved; when they feel loved, they return; and when they return, life transformation happens.

4. Never run from challenges, questions, or even conflict in your group. Remember, the Bible says “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17, NIV). The group that doesn’t have sparks actually doesn’t have much life. Healthy groups have conflict.

There are practical things you can do, however, to ensure that conflict doesn’t dominate your small group. First, make a group covenant. This agreement outlines the ground rules for your group. If you write down your expectations early on, conflict will occur less later on.

Second, facilitate discussion to help evaluate the progress of your group. After a few weeks, assess how things are going and just throw out the questions: “How’s it going? What is one thing you like?

What is one thing you’d change if you could?” You may want to have them do it on 3x5 cards to make it safer. Issues that arise from these responses are ones to address immediately so controversy doesn’t ensue.

5. Encourage shared ownership. When this happens, the group moves from being “your” group to “their” group. Remember to rotate the facilitation of the group at least by the second or third week.

Get out your group calendar and record where the group will meet, who will host, who will lead worship, and who will bring refreshments. This will develop ownership on a variety of levels.

Also make sure that each group member has a responsibility. Some people may not be ready to lead worship or plan a ministry project, but everybody can take a responsibility by teaming up and doing something together. It could be planning a social, following up on absent group members, or participating in a ministry project. Sign them up, pair them up, and follow up. If you don’t follow up, it won’t happen.

6. Cultivate a group of friends. The Bible says that early believers gathered in temple courts and house to house, week to week. This model ensured members would always connect with one another, even if they missed a meeting at the temple.

Because the early church embraced this model, they added to their numbers daily. Everyone wanted to be a part of the fellowship. Who are you going to add to your circle? If you invite friends to join the group, they’ll have a greater tendency to come back themselves because they’ll be surrounded by friends.

7. Take time to do life together. Don’t miss anniversaries, wedding parties, baby showers, job promotions, and even house closings. Celebrate one another’s lives.

On my birthday, my small group made my favorite dinner and favorite dessert. They asked how they could pray for me. Though the group isn’t supposed to be about me, on my birthday they wanted the whole night to be about me. The beauty is that they loved on me and made me feel special. This is the longing in each of our hearts.

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Leadership Honesty Breeds Group Honesty Here’s a practical way to get your group to open up

The best thing you can do to encourage honesty in your group is to be honest yourself. This doesn’t mean spilling your guts about your darkest secrets. It means asking for prayer in an area of your life where you’re genuinely struggling; it means letting go of the myth that the leader needs to appear perfect; it means being genuine in your responses to the questions.

One way to develop group honesty is to have each member share four people, circumstances, events, or places that have left lasting impressions on them and made them the people they are today.

Because some people have trouble talking about themselves so openly, you can use “hands” as a visual aid. An easy way to create this visual aid is to trace your own hands and make copies of those.

Group members can write or draw thoughts, words, or pictures on the four hands and explain their drawings to the group.

If you have group members who think the drawing part is too cute, that’s okay. Different temperaments like different things. The point is to share key influences from their lives, with or without a drawing.

Ideally, give people ten minutes to figure out what they want to talk about and do the drawing, and then five minutes apiece to share with the group.

If you have eight people in your group, that adds up to fifty minutes. Maybe you want to ask people to share just one person or event that has left a lasting impression on their lives. The goal is to develop honesty in your group and to help people open up about themselves.

If crunched by time, another option is to have people share their lasting impressions and pray together in smaller circles of three or four people.

Sub-grouping multiplies the amount of airtime each person gets. You don’t have to worry so much about people who dominate and people who are shy. When you ask someone in each subgroup to facilitate the discussion, you are giving those people a chance to experiment with leadership in a safe way.

When people share personal things, the group’s response is crucial. People need to sense that it’s safe to tell the truth about themselves. Emphasize that anything shared in the group stays in the group.

Pay attention as people share, and when they’re done, genuinely thank them. Acknowledge when someone says something that moves you. And even if someone shares something that seems bland, let them know you appreciate their story just as much as someone else’s.

Finally, be sure that whatever you share about yourself comes from the heart and gives the group a real glimpse of who you are deep down.

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Session 3 MENTOR the spiritual health of your leaders and members

OBJECTIVE To discover how to develop healthy leaders, groups and members over time.

“And we proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, that we may present every man complete in Christ.” Colossians 1:28 M_______________ them to find a spiritual Coach; who will listen and love on them, Party and Play with them.

E_______________ them to review their own goals and their own dreams before God.

Take a health assessment. Base your goals on their own personal

assessment of the health plan.

N_______________ forsake your own gathering together. Never stop sharing God’s word. Hide the word in their hearts make space for God to work.

Gather a circle of 4-5 groups just to pray.

Deliver a message from the pastor either written or on video.

Do affirmation events for your leaders.

T_______________ them what you sense God wants for their life. Tell the truth in love. Timing is God’s timing for everything (patience).

What are God’s latest thoughts for them?

Communicate God’s truth through letters, emails, your spoken word, personal voice mails.

O_______________ on ones are vital connections for both of you. Sharing goals and dreams keeps you on the same journey. Challenge them and celebrate the victories together.

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39 R_______________ them to multiply their lives. Model visits, huddles, phone contacts, going to church together.

Goals for Your Flock: 1. Community Health: not just healthy leaders, but healthy communities.

Use the health assessment and create a group health plan.

2. Group Visits: Check in, get the pulse and progress, then check back in 8-12 weeks.

3. Spiritual Coach: Help try to catalyze a relationship between every group member and someone inside or outside the group that can serve as a spiritual mentor or spiritual partner.

New group hosts with established groups hosts.

4. The Pathway of Life: Map out where every group member is at spiritually.

Seeker: They haven’t yet crossed the line of faith.

Student: They’ve crossed the line and are learning and growing.

Servant: They are putting their faith into action by using their gifts in ministry.

Shepherd: They are prepared to lead through rotating leadership in the group.

5. A Spiritual Breakthrough Experience: The coach challenges or leads the group in communion, a foot-washing service or a prayer walk through the neighborhood.

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Coaching Next Steps

Write down a few practical next steps based on the teaching in this series.

______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

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Six Steps to Mentor Your Leaders and Their Groups When my daughter, Michelle, was diagnosed with a form of cerebral palsy, we thought she’d never walk. But one day she started getting up on her haunches and crawling. The next minute, she started climbing up the edge of things and trying to walk, but she didn’t look like she would ever get legs underneath her. So we got a little walker that allowed her to cruise around the house -- slow to fast, fast to faster, and faster to really fast. Finally, after four and half years, she took her first step and jumped into my arms.

When we bought a two-story house, she wanted to climb. She didn’t want to use the railing for support; she wanted to go straight up the center of the stairs, just like everybody else. One day, my wife called and said, “You’ve gotta come home.”

When I came home, Michelle, now 5, said, “Dad, I’m ready to do it.” She went up a couple of steps and wobbled a bit, but she refused to use the rail. She kept going up. Two thirds of the way up the stairs, she fell back on her heels, reached over for the railing, missed the railing, and caught herself. She kept going, one step at a time, all the way to the top. Surrounded by the hoots and hollers by the entire family, she raised her arms victoriously.

This didn’t happen overnight for Michelle; it happened over time. Similarly, we take our spiritual journeys one step at a time. Small groups help people take these baby steps. What is it going to take for you to help your small group leaders take these steps of spiritual growth?

Here are six simple ways you can MENTOR your hosts to help them spiritually mature.

5. MOTIVATE them to find a spiritual coach who will encourage them, exhort them, love them -- do whatever it takes to help them go the next step. But you need to help them find a relationship with someone they’ll want to meet with at least once a month.

We asked a woman on staff whom she’d like to have spiritually invest in her, and she gave us a name. I asked for her number, called her up and said, “Hi, this is Pastor Brett, and I asked my friend if she could pick one person to invest in her spiritually, who would it be, and she said you!”

The woman said, “You’ve got to be kidding. Are you serious?”

I said, “Yeah. What do you think?”

She said, “Well, I’d be honored. I’d love to.”

Nine out of 10 times, the other person says, “You’ve got to be kidding! When can we meet?”

And when they meet, they immediately hit it off.I promise you, every one of your hosts has a Small

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42 name. Be the catalyst to get the two together 2. ENCOURAGE them to review their goals and dreams before God, especially in the are of what it’s going to take to help them grow in their walks with Christ. If you ask them this question, they’ll say something about reading God’s Word or understanding God more deeply. If you don’t ask the question, nobody else will.

The best way to help them become self-motivated is to have them go through a spiritual health assessment. Then set goals based on their own personal assessment of the health plan.

They’ll look back at you one day and say, “Thank you. I just needed that spark.” We all long for a nudge.

3. NEVER forsake your own gathering together. Just think if the disciples didn’t gather in the upper room. Where would the church be? While God chose to scatter that circle, remember that his disciples retreated from the crowds and met together. In the same way, we need to pull away with our leaders -- our church’s disciples. When you meet, make sure you always pull out God’s Word, because faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It’s important for us to realize that there are different types of gatherings. But it’s the communal worship that is so important for growing your leaders spiritually. Through these gatherings, you have an opportunity to coach several leaders at once and spend time in prayer. Look for any opportunity to affirm your leaders and pray for them.

4. TELL them what you sense God wants for their life. If you aren’t the voice of God in their lives, who will be? They need to hear God’s best words and what you sense he wants them to know. Do it through letters and emails as well as through spoken words when you have casual encounters. Listen for what God wants them to know.

I get a letter from a buddy of mine once every three weeks that I save, because he basically writes out a prayer: “Lord, I just sense that what you want Brett to know is, this, and this.”

It’swonderful gift, and I can’t wait to open those cards. Practice giving your leaders cards like these, and remember that timing is everything.

5. ONE-ON-ONES are vital for both you and them. Over the course of the year, get together at least four times. It’s a great excuse to say, “Hey, how are you? How can I help?” And you’ll be able to gauge group and individual growth. If you’re a community leader developing a few coaches or if you’re a coach who has ten or more groups, pray for and identify other people to bear the load. It won’t always work out, but when you have others on board, oneon-ones will increase. And this will help leaders grow and go to the next level.

6. RELEASE them to multiply their lives. When you cast this vision intentionally and systematically, you’ll see your congregation connect, and you’ll see your congregation reach into your community for the sake of the community. When you step up and dream -- a dream that is exponentially beyond what you think is possible -- you’ll see God at work. God is able to do exceedingly beyond whatever we would ever even think or ask for his glory. To that end, may your relationship with your hosts and your leaders continue to become exponentially deeper and wider than you could ever imagine.

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Front Porch Community

How small groups help people create healthy conversations Intimacy may be a worthy goal, but small groups are mostly about learning how to talk to one another.

At least that’s what Joe Myers, “multi-preneur” and author of The Search to Belong: Rethinking Intimacy, Community, and Small Groups (Zondervan), believes.

We are moving into a cultural value shift that has heightened the value of belonging. In the research for my book, I found that people find significant belonging in a variety of places and ways. I categorize these as public, social, personal and intimate relational spaces that are actually built in people’s minds.

People have a hierarchy of need for significant belonging. They need a large amount of significant public belonging in their life. They need just a little bit less of significant social belonging in life and just a little bit less personal significant belonging in life. People’s need for being personal and intimate with each other has been far too over emphasized and pursued. In actuality, human beings are designed only to handle very few—maybe three—intimate relationships in their entire life.

I think people are experiencing a void in their lives, not on the level of intimacy, but on the level of significant social and personal belonging. Belonging and having a healthy sense of community in a person’s life is greater than simply trying to get every relationship to be personal and intimate.

In over-emphasizing the large public belonging and the very small intimate belonging, we’ve created a gap of a major type of significant belonging. I call this space the “front porch space.” Let me explain: Your neighbor comes over. If you don’t have a front porch and he knocks on the door, you have two choices: you either have to invite him in or step outside. You don’t want to invite him in; that’s too close.

So you have to step outside, and then he’s wondering the whole time why you’re standing outside and why you didn’t invite him in. There’s no space for us to just get together. We’ve taken those spaces away from our culture. Now they’re starting to return, in the form of neighborhood Starbucks and the return of architectural front porches.

Small groups can actually build significance in people’s lives if they concentrate on developing significant social space and good significant personal space. People create relational spaces in their minds all the time. People can share intimate information and not actually be in an intimate relationship. You can’t be intimate with twelve people. Being at ease and at peace in connecting with other people’s lives in a social and personal space will fill the real need.

What I like about the Lifetogether curriculum is that it promotes healthy “front porch” conversations.

Most small groups bounce between social and personal belonging. Social belonging is defined where people connect by sharing snapshots of who they are. People have to have significant social and personal belongings in their life. Churches should develop those; small groups are a vehicle and Lifetogether is a tool for doing this.

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Healthy Members, Healthy Group Take this assessment to see how your health measures up

If you want to have a healthy small group, it goes without saying that its members need to be healthy. So a good way to move yourself and your group toward well-being is by assessing each individual’s level of health. Once this is established, you can help one another set goals for growth and can encourage one another in the problem areas.

The following questions are geared toward helping you and your each member of a group go through this process.

Each member should answer individually. Then the results can be discussed with the group.

1) How are you connecting with God’s family? a. What is the frequency of your interactions with other members in your group? b. How vulnerable are you in regards to sharing your real needs? c. What are some steps you can take to deepen these relationships?

2) How are you growing to be like Christ? a. When do you spend time studying the Bible and in prayer? b. Who do you talk to about what God is teaching you or ask questions about spiritual growth? c. What are a couple of things you can do to increase consistency in this area?

3) Where are you serving? a. What steps are you taking to figure out and develop your spiritual gifts? b. How often do you pray for God to show you opportunities to serve others? c. How can you serve within your small group?

4) How are you sharing your faith with others? a. What opportunities do you have to develop relationships with non-Christians? b. How often do you invite unchurched or unconnected friends to church or small group? c. How can you involve yourself with overseas missions?

5) How can you surrender your life for God’s pleasure? a. What areas of life do you struggle with surrendering to God (health, decisions, finances, relationships, future, etc.)? b. Which one of these areas do you want to focus on as you work toward surrender? What steps will you take? c. What are some ways you can grow in worshiping God both corporately and privately?

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Transformation Takes Time How small group leaders cultivate spiritual growth

Our small group, like most small groups, is comprised of people with varying Christian maturity. One lady arrived as a spiritual seeker. Within time, she committed her life to Christ and was baptized. The evening of her baptism was a special time for our small group, as we celebrated her decision and prayed with her. Seasoned prayer warriors and new believers alike lifted up praises and petitions. New believers prayed out loud and learned that there is no right or wrong way to pray.

Because of this one event, others deeply grew in their prayer life. Those who never would have prayed out loud when they first joined, ended the year praying. That kind of spiritual growth is exciting, but it doesn’t happen immediately.

Transformation takes time. Despite the tendency to want instant spiritual growth, hosts are there to help members grow step-by-step, sometimes inch-by-inch.

How do you do it? Following the acrostic CULTIVATE, here are nine simple steps to get you started.

Clarify the pathway of life. You need to begin with the end in mind. Ask, “What is the goal?” The Bible says the goal is to present every man and woman complete in Christ. There isn’t one person

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46 in your circle who doesn’t want to grow. Your role is to find out what it is going to take each member to move ahead.

Jesus’ call is clear. He wants to move us from a seeker of Christ to a student in Christ who is studying the word and growing in our faith.. But most people get stuck at about that midway point.

From student, Christ wants us to be a servant.

Generally, 20 percent of people jump into a servant role. Your job is to let the other 80 percent know that being a servant for the sake of the body of Christ with our unique giftedness is God’s call for every one of his people.

Then let them know that everyone is called to be a shepherd. We are not all called to be leaders, pastors, or teachers. Your challenge to them is: “Follow me as I follow Christ.” You’re the one who’s done it, so lead them forward.

Consider charting out where people are, and then help them see where God wants them to be. But start with yourself, and pray about where you need to grow.

Understand your members’ spiritual goals

and dreams. All of us have them and want to work on them. Challenge your members to ask God what one thing he wants them to work on. They’ll know it once they ask God. Then ask them to write it down. It might be jumping into reading God’s word for the first time in their life. It might be finding balance in their busy life. Or it might be finding an opportunity to serve or share Christ with a nonbeliever. You might use a health assessment to check their spiritual pulse.

Once they are aware of what God is calling them to do, continue to challenge them in that area. Have them write down one tangible step they can take to begin to fulfill that dream.

Listen for God’s heart for each person.

You need to look for the moments when their eyes water, when they get fired up, or when they lose interest. When you see such reactions, you know something is happening in their hearts. Listen beyond their eyes and their physical presence for what God might be doing deep in their soul. Here is your chance to help bring those heart-felt desires out.

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47 Transformation happens best through group discussion. The greatest transformation happens when you take the information from the teaching session and apply it. This doesn’t happen in groups of 8-20 people. You have to divide them into smaller discussion groups of 3-4 people.

In smaller groups, individuals have more air time and have more time for application of the truths from the lesson.

Encourage them to share their goals. Expect them to achieve them together dividing the group, and try to maintain the groups throughout the entire study. As Ecclesiastes says, two are better than one. God is in the middle of that cord, helping people grow and go to the next level.

Inspect that which you expect.

If you cast out a spiritual challenge, like reading the Bible or taking on a new leadership role, write it down and continue to bring it back to focus at your small group meetings. You might ask somebody to keep track of those things that are more than prayer requests.

Ask the group to praise God for what has happened the first three weeks of working on their goal. Then ask them what one problem they are struggling with in trying to make it happen and help them come up with a plan for doing it over the next few weeks. When you put them in pairs to discuss these goals, usually the discussion goes deeper and there is greater accountability.

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48 Validate every step.

You’ve got to say, “Hip-hip-hooray!” and “That-a-boy! That-a-girl!” Don’t forget to affirm even the smallest of steps. One guy brought a Bible to his small group, and the leader said, “Fantastic. Now you might want to read it.” Celebrate every step. Look for whatever progress there might be, and affirm them.

As a group you may agree to celebrate when someone shows progress: memorizes their first verse; prays out loud; reads a book of the Bible; or, leads their first session. Your job is to do your best to ask, “Who is working on what, and how can we help you get to the next step?”

And don’t forget to include yourself. Even leaders are on a spiritual journey.

Ask whom they would like their spiritual partner/mentor to be.

Nine out of ten Christians-and even spiritual seekers--want to grow spiritually. But nine out of ten really don’t know how to make it happen alone. You are the catalyst to help members find spiritual partners. Start with yourself, and ask someone in the group to be your partner for the next six weeks. Then ask the group whom they would like to partner with for the next six weeks. Ideally, men pair with men, and women with women.

At the end of the meeting in which you pair them up, have them exchange email addresses and spend some time setting goals and praying together. Encourage them to celebrate when they take steps in their spiritual journey. Remember, sheep need a shepherd, but shepherds need shepherds as well.

Together you accomplish more than you could ever do alone.

Shared goals make a difference. If you all stack hands and vow to do one ministry project together—just one over the course of six weeks—it will happen. Just ask your group what interests them and what as a group you could accomplish together.

Then ask people to take on positions to start getting it done.

Our group was moved to feed the homeless. We made a plan and then made barbecue chicken meals. To make a long story short, two of the homeless men ended up coming to Christ. Their lives were changed forever. More than that, our small group changed forever, understanding what could happen when they expressed themselves in love with Christ’s help. We all grew through that experience.

Expect them to pass it on.

If you do not expect them to pass on that which they have been given, they fulfill the Great Commission. And they won’t be following that which was modeled for them. Not everyone is called to be a teacher. But cast a vision that everyone is called to be a shepherd of some. It doesn’t have to be more than one. But where two or more are gathered, there God is in their midst. It doesn’t have to be 22; it doesn’t even have to be 12. But it does need to be another. Someday they must come up with the name of a person whom they can shepherd.

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Five Essentials for Small Group Health How to keep your groups growing vibrantly

by Ralph Neighbor, President of Touch Outreach Ministry Churches all over the nation are recognizing a need to get small groups going in their congregations.

As people sense a desire for deeper relationships within the body of Christ, interest in the movement is rising. But getting small groups started in a church and keeping the groups healthy are two completely different jobs. As head of Touch Outreach Ministry, my job is to look at churches that have failed with small groups and to try to help them find health. As I’ve done that, I’ve seen several principles of health emerge: 1. Relationships must be a priority. Holistic small groups can only work when relationships between group members are considered number one. And that means having regular contact outside of meetings. I’ve experienced a vast majority of the transformation in my life through a small group experience, and it happened because of this principle. The groups have been very intimate friends of mine with whom I can share transparently. They’ve loved me unconditionally, and we’ve been able to show Christ to one another. I didn’t view it as an opt-in thing.

Without it, it would be like not having enough air to breath.

They’ve been that valuable.

2. Leaders need adequate training. Jesus is the best example of this. He discipled his people. He spent a lot of time with them, and out of relationship they started mimicking him, doing things the way he did them. Lots of leaders were produced this way, and they did great things—like planting churches and going to the uttermost parts of the world.

Many churches get the process backwards. They want to give people a title and then train them. Jesus never did that.

He spent three and a half years training and developing.

Then he said, “You are my disciples.” I think this is the

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way we ought to do it. We need to get people to serve in ministry and affirm them as we see their gifts. Then we can say “You’re really good at this. Do you realize that? Wouldn’t you like to be a leader?”

Another reason adequate training is so important is that it gives you the opportunity to get to know the character of potential leaders. One of my biggest fears is promoting people to small group leadership too quickly. Sometimes when churches are desperate for leaders, they’ll fasttrack people into leadership without really knowing their character. Then a year later they find out the person’s marriage is on the rocks or they’re addicted to pornography or something like that. Had they gotten to know these people and their personal problems, then they could’ve said, “Your house isn’t in order. We’re not going to give you leadership elsewhere.”

3. Everyone should be viewed as a leader. Everyone in the group has some spiritual gift and should be encouraged to develop it. These gifts often surface through leading. So everyone should be given the opportunity to lead in some way.

4. Healthy groups divide and multiply. A healthy family raises children who want to become independent and start families of their own. They don’t break relationship. They just move out and start their own family. They come back and visit, and eventually the parents might move back in with the kids. Small groups should function in the same way. It really bothers me when the “fifty-year-old kid” stays at home in our churches and never wants to be a leader.

5. The focus of the group should be living out the Gospel. I don’t think holistic small groups should be Bible studies. I think they should be a place where the group applies God’s Word to their lives. They should gather together on a weekly basis to experience the presence, the power and the purpose of Christ in their lives. I suggest that if we stopped learning anything new about the Bible and only put into practice what we know today, we’d have three or four lifetimes of practical application that we could make in our small group setting without ever learning one more new truth about the Bible.

As with any health or fitness program, success is not instantaneous. This is definitely a transferable truth when it comes to developing small group ministry. Good health takes time and dedication. So

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Session 4

Motivate the spiritual gifts of your leaders and their members OBJECTIVE to develop healthy balanced leaders who are serving an area they are gifted in and passionate for.

M_______________ this with your leaders .

O_______________ is the hill to die on.

Small Group Vacation: Every person in the group takes a break from the group for one study to lead a group on their own.

Enlarge the Circle of Friends: Don’t break, split or divide. Gather neighbors, soccer coaches, neighborhood guys for breakfast once a month.

T_______________

a story to lead the way.

Tell the story to other groups. Tell the story to your Senior Pastor.

I_______________

everyone to serve together.

V_______________ their different contributions.

A_______________ them to take a step .

Conspiracy of Kindness by Steve Sjogren.

Kingdom Assignment: What Will You Do With the Talents God Has Given You? by Denny & Leesa Belessi was published by Zondervan, 2001.

T_______________ them in neighborhood huddles.

First, get all of the leaders together for initial training with Hosting Lifetogether.

Second, do in-service training with your leaders once per quarter.

E_______________ them and their groups to grow.

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52 Coaching Next Steps

Write down a few practical next steps based on the teaching in this series.

______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

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Develop Their Gifts

I’ll never forget when, during my early years at Willow Creek, my supervisor said, “Brett, you have proven that you have some level of the gift of leadership. I’d like to further develop your leadership gifts in this next season together.”

It made me feel wonderful that someone was recognizing my gifts and willing to invest in growing them.And this is exactly what coaches ought to be doing with their leaders -- motivating them to develop their gifts. Of course, it shouldn’t stop there. The point of developing their gifts is for them to go and do likewise with their group members.

So how does a coach make this gift development happen? Using the acrostic MOTIVATE will help answer that question.

Model. If you want your leaders to turn around and work on developing others’ gifts, you’ve got to start by developing theirs. This will show them how to do the same with others. Do just what John Wallace did for me: recognize their gifts and look for opportunities to help them grow.

Let’s say, for example, you notice your leader is a good writer. First, you point out the talent you see. Then encourage them to take on a task that involves the gift you’ve observed, like leading a time of worship singing during one of your leader huddles.

Ownership.The job of a coach is to basically say, “You have a gift as a leader, and your group members have gifts. Your job is to figure out how on earth to get those people in the game.”So get them to go to their groups and make the point that the question is not if you have gifts, it’s what are they. Challenge them to ask their group members what they are going to do with them. Merely set the expectation, and watch ownership emerge.

Tell a story that leads the way. Teaching through a story is, 99 percent of the time, the most effective way to help people learn. So write down the stories of what God did when groups started using their gifts, and mail them to your senior pastor.Tell the stories in a Sunday school class.The bottom line is keep the stories flowing so people ultimately will hear what God is doing.Use the power of story to cast the vision for people to serve God in a unique way.

Invite everyone to serve in community. We need our groups to evaluate their gifts and then say, “Okay, what can we do for our neighborhood?What can we do to help serve and help shape our culture?” Then we wouldn’t need things like Neighborhood Watch.You’d have a spiritual community praying in agreement to help coaches, teachers, civic leaders, and the kids in the neighborhood.In my neighborhood, Ia couple of guys and we talk about what we can do next, a Memorial Day party, a picnic or something to gather our neighbors together, Small

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54 no matter what their spiritual faith or form. We simply want to make an impact.

Validate their unique contribution. Every single group has something valuable to contribute, so take time to highlight those contributions.

Gather every single one of your leaders in the community for a fun get-together and talk about what’s hot, what’s not, and what’s next. First, have them each share one praise for what their group is doing outside the group.

Next, have them talk about the problems they are having trying to get their group to use everyone’s gifts. Finally, have them walk away with a plan. It doesn’t have to be a lot of big steps.

Ask them to take a step, a big one. Coaches need to challenge their leaders to trust God and take a step -- like Peter when he stepped out of the boat.need to dare to think bigger than their own little vision or fears -- or their leaders’ fears -- and challenge them to get out of the boat.

Train them to do neighborhood huddles. Get your groups to come together for this purpose: to figure out what God is calling them to, so they can celebrate.He’s got something for each one of them, and they will begin to sharpen each other as they discuss the question of purpose.Just ask them, “What is God doing?And what does he want to do next?”Open your Bible and share a little devotional and perhaps worship

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55 together through music. The key is to make it “local.” You’re taking your big church and making it feel small. I love this picture because I believe this is really the dream God has called us to.

Expect them and their group to grow. If you are encouraging your leaders to develop their gifts and those of their group members -- and I mean develop, not just discover -- then the groups are going to grow. The difference between developing and discovering is that developing gets their hands. Discovering is more an intellectual exercise. Spiritual gifts are given for the common good of the body. It’s about getting in the game. When this starts to happen, things are going to change -- in their lives, in their group, in their little community, and, ultimately, in the world.

The Bible says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard all that the Lord has planned for those who love him.” Take a look at your leaders and their members, and dream about what no eye has seen and ear has heard that the Lord has planned for those who love him. Things are going to change when you change how you’re coaching, caring, and developing your leaders.

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Developing People

3 ways to encourage your group members to serve

As a leader, you are actually in the people development business. Your role as leader is to motivate your group members to discover and start using their gifts and abilities to develop their own unique ministry design. There are three key ways you can help develop your group members: 1. Start by doing a gift-discovery exercise as a group.

2. Model service yourself. A lot of your group members may not want to serve—yet. But if you show up with your own journey of discovering and use your gifts for service, they’ll be inspired to follow your example. They need to see that you too are developing. Your model is more important in this group than anything else that will be said or done in your meeting.

So why not tell them the story of how you ended up leading this group? Tell them what it means to you to have an opportunity to serve God in this way. If you were reluctant to try it or you needed to develop your abilities over time, let them know that. And if you’re committed to serving God in some particular way right now, other than leading your group, let them in on that too. Don’t tell your story so it sounds like you’re a superhero. Let them see your human flesh, and God’s divine power.

3. Affirm the strengths you see in your group members. If your group has been together for six weeks or more, they are already starting to notice each other’s strengths. Now let them hear from you—and each other—what those strengths are. So many people see all their weaknesses and none of their strengths. They need to hear what others see in them. So whatever you do, affirm. One good way to do this is by writing down their strengths on index cards or greeting cards and giving them to your members. Then ask other group members to do the same for each other.

Thanks for your faithfulness to enter the people development business. May God bless you in it.

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The Group that Serves Together Grows Together Five ways to help task-oriented groups thrive

Setting up task groups is a great way to develop a growing number of faithful volunteers in almost any area of ministry. A task group is distinct in that it isn’t just a traditional fellowshipbuilding group or a team of people simply fulfilling a task. By definition, task groups attempt to accomplish both fellowship and ministry at the same time.

The principle mission of a task group is to set aside a 30-45-minute group time to develop the spiritual and relational life of each team member. People tend to join a group because of the task they want to work on, but ultimately they will stay because of the mutual caring among the group members. Being intentional about developing the sense of community through a designated group time strengthens and improves the overall health of the ministry.

Most of the principles used to develop effective traditional small groups can be transferred to working with task-oriented groups. However, several features will especially enhance the development of task groups:

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58 1. Encourage groups to meet before or after their serving time. No matter how frequent the serving opportunity (whether once per week or once per quarter), add a community dimension to each meeting.

2. Monitor task-group curriculum selection and usage. To begin with, use simple, open-ended questions, such as those found in Nav-Press’s 201 Questions. Evolve to using an uncomplicated smallgroup curriculum. For instance, group members could respond to discussion questions after reading a short passage from a Serendipity Bible or Life Application Bible.

3. Develop a sense of teammates versus soulmates. People who join task groups generally have a primary commitment to the task and a secondary commitment to the people.

Creating a teammate atmosphere helps everyone recognize that this group is different from the two-hour women’s or couples’ Bible study. Task-group members should accept and enjoy the fact that they have gathered in order to do something.

4. Make the task a means to a greater end. Ultimately, changed lives is our goal. Over 50 percent of those serving in a task group will never join a traditional fellowship group. Yet a task group is an excellent place to connect unconnected people. For this reason, encourage groups to form around any appropriate impassioned cause for which a qualified leader will emerge.

5. Provide ongoing leadership development. Leaders of task groups need regular support, training, troubleshooting help, and encouragement in order to lead over the long haul. Also, leaving an “open chair” (for the potential invited newcomer) in task group meetings will serve as the principle means of gathering the next generation of volunteers and leaders.

The beauty of leading and managing volunteer teams through task groups is that people not only accomplish the important task but also ultimately grow in their walk with God, with each other, and with the church. These are goals worthy of our labor.

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Escaping the Pigeon Hole

Why small group leaders really need to be ‘pastors’—and vice versa Small group leaders are the most strategic people in the life changing process. Really the goal in small group ministry should be to have small group leaders as “pastors” of the church.

This kind of church is not a natural thing. Church history runs against it. Bill Donahue and I have written about the idea of building churches of small groups. Moving from that vision to reality is a long-term process. It starts fundamentally in the minds of leaders, with their understanding of their purpose as a leader in the church.

And just what is their purpose, or role, really? Their role is to be the practical expression of the priesthood of all believers; they really do the pastoral ministry of the church. They need to be granted this authority and empowered to not just connect people into groups but also help people take their next step spiritually. That idea has to be built into the minds of small group leaders, as well as shared with the whole congregation, so that everyone is operating in accordance with the same vision. Vision casting is, of course, only the first step. It must be followed with leadership training and setting up a system of accountability.

It’s nice to have a smaller laboratory to experiment with leaders “pastoring” a church. We have that kind of setting at my church, Meadowbrook. We’re testing the waters, and finding that incredible things can happen in small groups as leaders see themselves as our pastors.

This is certainly true for me as a small group leader. Although I’m a pastor, the most amazing thing I’m experiencing these days is what’s happening inside my small group. Although I speak around the country to conferences of 4,000 people, write books, and consult, every other Sunday night I’m sitting in my living room with my small group. In the last six months I’ve seen two lost people find Christ, two other guys who are truly seeking, and Christians who have been in hiding for decades going public with what’s really true in their life. They feel safe in our group. They are actually starting to experience life change.

One of the things I hear from people who are passionate about small groups is, “Most of our people get it, but our senior pastor isn’t on board yet. Can we do this if our senior pastor isn’t on board?” I used to say, “Start underground, and then go public.” But after the last eight or nine years of working on this stuff, I’ve changed my response. I think the chances of churches becoming transformational communities when the senior pastor does not understand it, does not vision cast, and does not model this way of doing ministry is very slim.

As a senior pastor, when I say follow me, I’m showing the way by what my wife and I are doing in our home. I think that’s the kind of leadership that has to happen in churches for a small group movement to break through.

Russ Robinson is the senior pastor of Meadowbrook church in North Haledon, New Jersey, which is a suburb of New York City. He was the director of small groups at Willow Creek Community church for seven years, leading the transition from being a church with small groups to a church of small groups.

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Opening Gifts Isn’t Just for Kids 8 tips to help your small group open up and develop their spiritual gifts

I grew up with a single mom, two sisters, a girl cousin, and an aunt. One Christmas morning we were sitting around the tree rifling through presents. We tore a package open and showed it to the entire family. One time I opened my gift, and I pulled out … a skirt! The family exploded in laughter. Late on Christmas Eve, my mom had gotten the gifts all goofed up.

I am reminded how each of us receives different gifts, and when we open them up others can look at them and affirm them or say, “You know what? I don’t think that’s yours—it’s probably somebody else’s.”

The Bible teaches that spiritual gifts are given for the common good of the body of Christ. And the Body is blessed when those gifts are opened, engaged, and exercised. But if they’re never opened, they’ll never be experienced. It’s like walking by a Christmas tree and leaving all the packages wrapped.

As a small group host, one of your chief goals is to help your small group identify and develop their spiritual gifts. Below is an acronym (CHAMPION) to help you lead your small group in this key area: 1. CELEBRATE every member’s spiritual gifts. While everybody is blessed with abilities and skills, an individual understands their unique God-given gift whey they trust Christ with their lives. God uses circles of friends—the body of Christ—to affirm and help develop those particular gifts.

We need to mirror one another. Once I told a friend I thought I had a certain spiritual gift, and I was wondering what he thought. He said, “I really don’t think it’s that gift. It’s this gift, Brett.”

Soon following that encounter, another person said, “Brett, you need to be focusing on this particular gift in your life.”

If you don’t create an atmosphere for your small group members to get this type of feedback, you may be leaving a package wrapped up with a nice little bow on it. Take the thing, shred the paper, open it up and have everybody kind of go, “What do you think?” Here it is!” Be gentle, but don’t be afraid to help them identify and develop their spiritual gifts.

2. HAVE every member take a baby step toward using their gifts. A small group is the smallest form of the body of Christ. Within each group there are just enough gifts to accomplish exactly what God wants to do in every single small group, and in every single church, and ultimately around the world. His dream is for all of us to get in the game.

Try to assign a role or responsibility to everybody in the group. Do this regardless of where they’re at in their spiritual journey; just get them moving in an area where they think their gifts

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61 are.

Also, take time to encourage them. Say, “Hey, you’re so good at this!” or “Thank you for that.” or “Have you ever thought of this?” These are opportunities to get them in the game.

3. AFFIRM every individual’s gift and every step they take in ministry. No matter what steps they take, you and your group need to be hootin’ and hollerin’. Ask the group, “Hey guys, wasn’t that fantastic?” It doesn’t matter what they did, just praise them.

Also encourage members to test-drive ministries: children’s ministry, youth ministry, music ministry, or the mission team. Introduce them to areas where they could be involved and urge them try and participate in one. Another good way for a member to find a fit is to do a spiritual gift assessment. From those results, they’ll be able to see where God uniquely made them to fit in.

4. MOTIVATE every member to develop their God-given shape for life. One way to do this is to say, “What things would you guys like to do? What are some ideas?” Fill a whiteboard, and then say, “Who should fill these individual roles?” They’ll fire out some names. Then ask, “Who would you like to join you in accomplishing this particular deal?” And they’ll give names of individuals who they enjoy hanging with.

One turn deserves another, so rotate the responsibilities every month--or every series--so each time everyone’s doing something different but at the same time together. This won’t happen overnight, but dream to have this happen over time.

5. PUT them into teams in order to mobilize everyone. Jesus didn’t send out his disciples alone; He sent them out in pairs. Use the power of pairs to accomplish any task. If you have people at different spiritual levels, one is kind of a newbie and one is a long-time believer, pair them together. This makes the new believer feel safe and empowers them to accomplish something they would never do on their own. It also provides accountability.

6. INSPIRE your members with your own examples and stories. I’ve told my scariest small group stories, ones in which I was reluctant to lead but was pushed to lead anyway. This is your chance to testify that God uses all people with various gifts—regardless of whether they feel prepared or not.

7. OFFER open discussion about serving together. Ask your group, “What can we do together?”

Don’t just tell them what you’re going to do as a group; instead, involve them in determining want to do and where you think God is calling them to go. You may consider watching and discussing the movie Pay It Forward to demonstrate how doing small things catalyzes others to get in the game also.

8. NEVER give up. The body of Christ needs you. If you’re a little wobbly at times, remember what Hebrews 13:7 says: He will never leave you. He will never forsake you. He will never leave you out there in a place where he doesn’t want you to grow and go to the next level in your own gifts. Be steadfast; be immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil in the Lord is not in vain. It is for a great measure and a great cause (I Corinthians 15:58).

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Session 5

MULTIPLY the spiritual lives Of your leaders and members

OBJECTIVE is to illustrate the importance of multiplying their lives spiritually.

M_______________ them until it hurts

U_______________ God’s Heart for the world Crock Pot Model: Get them into a group, Grow them, then Help them make a difference beyond the group by starting their own. This is not a microwave. Don’t multiply too soon.

L_______________ them enough to let them go

T_______________ lives not just leaders “Your job is more than just shepherding leaders, but to touch the lives of those members as well.”

Practical Tools: Health Assessment and Health Plan I_______________ your groups monthly

P________________ reunions and releasing celebrations

L________________ their circles of life

Y_______________ are God’s agent of change

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63 Coaching Next Steps

Write down a few practical next steps based on the teaching in this series.

______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

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Circles of Life

When starting a new group or renewing an existing group, it’s helpful to have each member, starting with the group leader, prayerfully reflect on who they might invite to the group.

Take a moment to write down as many names as you can in each one of the circles in your life. Then call several this week to see if they would like to join you.

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Multiply the Good Life

How to change the world by casting vision for your leaders

Years ago, John Kim began leading a men’s Bible study with just ten guys. The momentum of the group exploded, and before any of us knew it he had 60 men weekly meeting in his house. John helped orchestrate a church-wide campaign, which resulted in 35 more men’s groups. Soon, almost 200 men’s groups came under his care.

John’s life was spiritually multiplied. There are solid principles, that follow the acrostic MULTIPLY, that have helped men like John and others to multiply exponentially the ministry under their care.

Motivate them until it hurts. People are motivated by vision that is constantly and consistently placed before them by their leaders.

Throughout my years in the ministry I have seen ministries grow in ways I never thought possible. For example, a church I worked with had 7,000 adults at their weekend services, but only a couple hundred in groups. In a matter of eight weeks they were able to multiply the number of groups in their church to 350. New hosts were raised up and hundreds where assimilated into groups.

Why? We cast a vision, and God provided exceedingly and abundantly beyond what we asked or even thought.

Understand God’s heart for the world. It is God’s dream to find a shepherd for every one of his sheep.

It is His lost sheep, above all else, that breaks the heart of God. As a caregiver, it is important you go back to your group of leaders and cast this vision: Jesus had a heart for people.

Helping others come to know this is one of the few things we can do here on earth. This is where the desire for multiplication starts: understanding it, believing it, and helping others catch the vision.

Love them enough to let them go. To let the little chick fly, to let the butterfly go, to let the little one become all God has planned is an act of love.

The truth is when people gather in smaller groups things happen. Everybody gets a chance to talk more – airtime is doubled. Vocal people tend to not dominate a group as much. Quiet people tend to talk a little bit more.

Everybody feels loved and additional leaders are raised up naturally.

Let those you have raised up go so they can become all God has purposed.

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ransform lives, not just leaders. It is important to recognize that your job is not just to encourage other leaders.

Your job is to look beyond the lives of the leaders into the members.

The leaders may be healthy, but are the members healthy? Go into each group and conduct a health assessment.

See where everybody’s at in the area of evangelism. Seek the leader’s personal plan for the group by asking, “When are the people in your group going to multiply their spiritual life?”

The ultimate goal for any small group is transformed lives. Changed lives reveal the glory of Christ, reaching out to change the lives of others. It’s not just about building or growing but actually changing people from the inside out.

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66 Inspire your groups on a monthly basis. There are a number of different ways to accomplish this goal.

One is by interacting with the leader of each group. Another is by visiting each group over the course of a three- or fourmonth period. If you interact with your groups more frequently they’ll begin to know and trust you. Remember the cliché, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”

As a coach you are the representative of the church, so when you show up, either through a note, a call or a oneon-one meeting, it shows the pastor cares.

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lan reunions and relationship easing opportunities. This is one of the greatest tools you have. When you pull together your leaders for this family reunion, ask what God is doing in their lives and the lives of their members as well as say thanks for taking a step of faith. When leaders come together for this time of celebration, young leaders are inspired by seasoned leaders to develop in their journey.

Butch and his wife, Lisa, were coaches who cared for about 25 small groups.

During one of these family reunions, we laid hands on them and prayed for them as they championed their small group community.

After that night, God led them to recruit seven new coaches to care for the next wave of leaders. We ended up having 200 leaders under Butch and Lisa’s care.

When people are about ready to multiply their group you want to show up as a coach and to pray for them. Send them off with a commission just like Christ did with his own disciples.

List their circles of life. When you meet with your leaders have them draw five circles on a piece of paper.

Categorize the circles by family, friends, fellowship, firm (work arena), and fun.

In each circle write down the name of someone who doesn’t know Christ or who would enjoy or benefit from being a part of a small group. Have each of your leaders commit to praying for the opportunity and boldness to invite those people to their group.

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ou are God’s agent of change. There was a guy named John who encouraged me to get involved in my first group. He promised to help, coach, and shepherd me. And he did throughout my college years.

He didn’t know it, but he planted the seed that resulted in me going into full-time Christian work. I am grateful that he was willing to multiply his life in mine. Now I have the privilege to do the same in the lives of others.

Be an agent of change. The best is yet to come. God is still at work in your church, community, and your life.

May He have His way with your heart, as the world around you changes as a result.

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what do you do on day 41?

10 ways to sustain your new small groups

Your church has been on a spiritual roll with the 40 Days of Purpose campaign. Everyone’s excited, but you’re actually worried: What will happen to these wonderful small groups once 40 Days is over?

No need to fret. With these 10 tips, you can sustain and strengthen your small groups from Day 41 onward.

1. Ask Your Leaders, “What’s Next?”

Contact your small group leaders to thank them for their participation and ask some quick questions. Through a phone conversation or email, get the “Four P’s” of Feedback: Praise: What happened in their group for which they are grateful to God? Let them share stories of how God has been changing lives. When they relive that excitement, they will become energized about leading another small group.

Problem: What one problem did they encounter? It might be curriculum choice, a difficult person, or group dynamics. Whatever the problem, let them talk and feel supported by you.

Plans: What is your group doing next? If they don’t have a plan, share with them what other groups are doing and discuss what would best fit their group.

Prayer: Any prayer requests? In that moment, pray for it. To show your earnest concern, follow up with an email in which you write out a prayer for them.

2. Schedule A Leaders/Hosts Celebration.

Rally all the new and existing leaders for a time of honor, strategy, praise, and vision. The best place to have a celebration is in a key lay leader’s home, though you can do it at church after a Sunday service You and other key staff should be there.

This is a time to hear leaders’ stories and celebrate what God’s been doing. This is also another opportunity to thank leaders. One great way is by sharing “insider news” regarding where you are going with sermons or what some of the next steps the church is taking. When the senior pastor or small groups pastor shares this news, it is even more meaningful. It brings leaders into the fold and makes them feel included.

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68 Many churches forget to celebrate, so hosts celebrate hosts—rather than church leaders celebrating the hosts. Leadership needs to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

3. Prayerfully Identify a New Small Group Champion.

After overseeing the 40 Days campaign, no doubt the director or champion is tired and on the edge of burnout, and for good reason. Recruit and develop a new leader to ensure you sustain your small group ministry energy and motivation.

How do you know what type of person you’re looking for? The person should have five qualities: 1. Loyal to the senior pastor; 2. Part of the small groups community; 3. the gift and experience of leadership; 4. character that is above reproach, and 5. a growing “lock,” or a deepening relationship, with God. When you pray to the Lord of Harvest to send you workers, also pray for the right small group champion to lead you forward. When this person agrees to help you bridge 40 Days to the future, send your other champion on vacation so they’ll return ready to lead again.

4. Plan Your Work, and Work Your Plan.

This is where you ask, “Hey, Lord, where do you want us to go?” And then obediently go where he leads.

Get a “spiritual pulse” of your Small Group Ministry by taking the feedback from your staff, from your host meetings, and from your celebration, and come up with a six-week to sixmonth tentative calendar. If you don’t think through the next six weeks, you risk losing a lot of momentum. It’s like when you plant a new tree in your back yard, you have to put a stake next to it for at least six months so that it will eventually thrive. The calendar is the stake.

If you’re ending the 40 Days campaign near the holidays, make sure you consider those breaks. The holidays have the potential to break up 50 percent of your groups, unless you think through carefully how to manage the process. Consider shorter curriculum during holiday times or preaching on 40 Days of Purposerelated themes to keep people connected with and enthused about small groups.

5. Preview, Select, and Promote Your New Small Group Series.

A six-week study gives people only a

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69 taste of the 5 biblical purposes. Folks, though, need to be transformed by the purposes, and that happens only over time. So start previewing curriculum that will do just that.

A logical place to start previewing series is at www.lifetogether.com where you’ll find deeper curriculum based on the five purposes. In addition you can sample the first episode of many curriculum series through Small Group TV, a weekly email video e-mail available on Lifetogether.com.

Once you’ve selected your new curriculum, you’ve got to promote it. If you go with something from Purpose Driven or Lifetogether, we have a whole set of resources for this, including order forms for the curriculum, bulletin inserts etc. that you can have available at church. This way instead of sending individuals out to get their own materials, you can collectively order the materials. This requires some upfront capital from church, but purchasing these—and then having people pay for them when they pick them up—makes it easier for people to stay connected.

6. Access Cheap or Free Resources and Tools.

Many great tools are available online. Sign up for Lifetogether Today at Lifetogether.com. It is a free weekly newsletter that features articles and other resources from Lifetogether. You can also sign up to receive free weekly training via the “Small Group University” video emails. Also at Lifetogether.com is a section with many downloadable and printable resources for small group leaders. Another great site is www.zoomerang.com. It’s a low-cost resource that provides all kinds of questions to ask your leaders regarding their small groups’ future plans.

Another website is www.smallgroups.com, which has great ideas, stories, and strategies for small groups, leaders and small group champions.

7. Offer End-of-Year Leader/Host Training.

Rally your leaders for a time of fun, fellowship, and small-group vision—and make sure pastoral leadership is present You can either send out nice invitations or casual emails. To ramp up the excitement, do something creative—like a cookie exchange or a White Elephant party. If you throw the party on a Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon, you’ll wind up with a two-and-a-half or three-hour block of time. Check out www.lifetogether.com/ for some great material to teach from.

If you don’t use training material, use the time to listen to and love on them. Go over the “Four P’s” to get your conversation going. Often, small group leaders share similar concerns and are able to work out their problems together. From those conversations, you’ll also learn where you need to spend time training.

8. Leverage the Weekend Services.

The greatest communication tool that you have in your church is the weekend services. If the pastor isn’t casting a vision for groups, people aren’t going to understand what the groups are about and the direction the church is headed.

This is also a great time to share with the congregation what God is doing in your small groups.

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70 One small group champion regularly met with his senior pastor to share small group stories.

The pastor would often use these stories in sermons to generate interest in small groups.

To get stories from an even wider circle, solicit stories in your bulletin or newsletter.

9. Identify, Train, and Develop a Coaching Staff.

Use the same five characteristics of small group champions to identify coaches. A great place to look is at the people already doing the job--without the title. Go after people who have hosted, had a positive 40 Day experience, and have proven gifts of leadership.

One technique for finding coaches is a “leadership connection.” In real time, gather all your leaders together. While they are together, ask them to nominate a “relative” coach who could shepherd the rest of them, someone whom they respect. Then you can ask that coach who he or she thinks would be a great future coach. In essence, the team chooses the coach for the team. Many people who receive this nomination feel honored, making it more difficult for them to turn down.

10. Attend a Small Group Conference.

Lifetogether and Purpose Driven offer some regional conferences around the country on leadership issues.

Purpose Driven also has a national conference. The conference is geared towards Senior Pastors, Small Group Pastors and Champions to help you put some processes in place.

You’ll come away with a plan for how you are going to implement Purpose Driven small groups in your church over one year, three years, and five years.

It’s definitely easier to launch a bunch of new small groups than it is to build a healthy small group ministry that both continually launches new groups and trains new leaders, and builds systems and process to sustain momentum over a long period of time. You can do it.

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Jiffy Pop for Your Groups Encouraging your members to launch their own groups spreads their gifts and yours

Once your group members have discovered their ministry “SHAPE”, why not set a goal one week that no one leaves your meeting without a plan to serve over the next three months. Maybe it would be in a group project.

Maybe some individuals have a plan to join a ministry at your church or to launch something new.

Another idea to consider for yourself and to propose to your group is “Jiffy Pop” groups. The idea here is that one or more of you agree to take a break from your current group to lead new people through a six-week Bible study.

This way members aren’t leaving your group forever. They’ll just take six weeks off to help another group get launched. During that time, they can raise up one or two members of that group to take over when they go back to your group.

The important principle here is that the leadership skills you’ve developed in this group aren’t meant to be hoarded—likewise with the skills that your group members have developed. God gives gifts for the good of the whole body. When you get it, give it away, and God will give you more.

So who are the one or two people in your group who have the gifts to lead a new group, but who might be reluctant? Identify the people who are reluctant yet ready, and affirm their gifts in front of the group. Encourage them to take that step of faith. If they’re not ready for whatever reason to do a Jiffy Pop group, be sure they get a chance to develop their gifts by sharing the leadership of this group. And then try them again soon.

Once group members have committed to a type of service, take a few minutes to pray for each one. Commission them for ministry. Have everyone put a hand on the person’s shoulder while you ask God to empower them for service.

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Prayer for Purpose

One church learned that prayer is the essential ingredient for small group success Linda lay in bed recuperating from knee surgery. As much as she wanted to go to church and participate in the weeks leading up to the 40 Days of Purpose campaign, Linda could barely get out of bed.

She kept thinking about Pastor John’s challenge to host a group for the 6-week campaign. How could that be possible? Though she couldn’t sign up group members at church, she prayed people would become a part of her group. When the week came to launch her group, Linda had 15 members. Seven of them were unchurched. One was her husband, who faithfully helped Linda prepare each week for her group meeting, even though he had yet to surrender his life to Christ.

Prayer was essential to the formation of every group at The Vineyard in Wheeling, West Virginia. This 25-yearold church of 550 adults prayed and fasted that God might work in and through their church as they studied The Purpose Driven Life. When Pastor John Rasz and Pastor of Small Groups Chris Figaretti presented a three-week series on community, they challenged all members of the church to open their hearts and homes for six weeks to host a group.

The first week, 78 groups for adults and six groups for students began. Each host was asked to take only enough study guides for their committed small group members. Only 50 copies remained from their order of 1,000. The 78 groups had 950 members! Ten percent of the church was originally connected in small groups; in a matter of weeks, this went up to 173 percent!

How did this happen? First of all, the church prayed intensely. Secondly, they made the invitation to host a group as engaging as possible and didn’t compete with other church agendas. Every other program and ministry focused on the 40 Days campaign.

Another factor of the success was that the bar was lowered for leadership. Previously, small group leaders were carefully selected and thoroughly trained; this time, the only requirement was that the hosts have a heart for people.

Bob and Elaine were just those leaders. The couple made arrangements with a local juvenile corrections center to release six girls to participate weekly in their small group study. By the third day of the campaign, one of the girls gave her heart to Christ.

Another member, Penny, prayed about hosting a group. Though Penny, a local teacher, had never led a small group, she was open to how God might work. Suddenly, other teachers at her school started asking Penny if she had heard of The Purpose Driven Life. Coincidentally, that was the exact study her church was about to begin.

God prompted her to start a group for her unchurched friends.

Penny, Bob, Elaine, and Linda—in fact, all of the Vineyard community—experienced the joy of praying for small groups, trusting God to use them, and showing his love to others.

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Open to the Talent Within

What one senior pastor from a small-sized church learned as he prayed for his small group ministry to flourish

by John Larson When people ask me how we grew our small group ministry from zero small groups to a solid 19, I plainly answer, “You just have to pray.”

In some ways, I hate to give this advice to another pastor who is as desperate as I used to be. What senior pastor doesn’t pray for his church’s small group ministry? But I know it is only through prayer that our ministry grew.

Prayer gives you contact with the chief administrator of small groups who is in heaven. He looks down and opens your eyes to those people who need to lead your small group ministry. I’ve learned that the leaders were always there, even when I didn’t recognize them as leaders. They don’t just magically appear, though; you need to pray for your eyes to be opened and the obedience to let them lead.

All of our coaches have always been with us. My wife was one of them. I always knew she was a great leader, but I never saw her as a person who would be great at helping lead this small group ministry. Prayer opened my eyes to her.

Through prayer, God also opened my eyes to Valerie. Valerie was quiet as a mouse. An introvert, she never volunteered much information about herself.I never imagined that she would be a small group host, but now she is. She gladly calls people, makes connections with them, and loves evangelism. I still think, Valerie? Evangelism? But that’s what she loves, and we let her do it.

We still need a small group administrator. My instinct is to believe this person doesn’t exist in our church, but he or she probably does. I’m still blind and pray that God will open my eyes to that leader.

God will surprise you when you’re open to using the talents within your church. When you take off the glasses you’re wearing and look with a new set of lenses, you’ll discover that the people in your midst have the talent to make your small group flourish.

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Session 6

MAGNIFY Christ together with your leaders and small groups OBJECTIVE is to bring full circle on how a coach models to the leaders and the leaders model to the members‌ the life of Christ.

M_______________ the heart of worship every time you gather.

A_______________ times for thanksgiving and prayer.

G_______________ regularly those in need and pray for them.

N_______________ miss an opportunity to share the Father’s heart.

Share your pastors heart through a letter or video.

Share life stories.

Always open the Bible.

I_______________ new forms of worship together.

Worship Songs on CD or DVD Communion Foot Washing Prayer Walk 24-hour Retreat F_______________ a congregation in the community for the community.

Expand your influence beyond the circle of leader to the group members.

Use email.

Create a directory.

Start a prayer chain.

Begin regional ministries.

Attend one service together.

Plan socials in the region.

Y_______________ beginning is an example in the end.

You want to circle the wagons for life: Gather all of the group members together to celebrate what God has done.

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75 Coaching Next Steps

Write down a few practical next steps based on the teaching in this series.

______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

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The surrender factor Why you need to model a surrendered heart

We are called to surrender our whole lives as an act of worship before the throne of God. Abram prayed out to God as he laid Isaac on the alter, “It’s all yours. I sacrifice it all.” To become effective coaches this also must be your prayer.

It is all about Him. Ask yourself these two questions: Are you willing to surrender your whole heart to Christ? and, Are you willing to model surrender to your people? This is your calling.

The acrostic MODEL below gives five essentials for living out a surrendered heart before your group leaders and members.

Magnify the Lord every time you’re together.

It is important to model ways in which to worship within the context of your group. Before tackling plans, training, and equipping your leaders, start by coming before the throne of God--together.

Each and every time you are together, demonstrate worship by praising Him and by opening His Word. The Word is both living and active, providing you with the chance to go simply and humbly before the Lord. Exclaim individually and as a group, “Lord, we need your help.”

Submit your agenda to the Lord, and allow him to redirect it if necessary. Whatever it is He wants to do, follow it.

Offer times of thanksgiving and praise.

When you gather together or meet with a leader oneon-one, ask, “What do you have to thank God for? What has He done? What is He doing?”

These questions help create the spirit of thanksgiving and praise and often help pull someone out of spiritual doldrums.

Also, create occasions where you can celebrate the things God has accomplished within your groups. Let your leaders and members know how God is working within the church itself. It is always uplifting to see how God is working outside of our own little circle.

Develop community that shows up during times of pain and difficulty. I think of leaders

that have encouraged me during my life struggles. To have people that know, care, and come back and ask how things are going means a tremendous amount. As a coach, model your neediness, your brokenness, and your struggles. This allows the leadership under you and the group members to relax and say, “They struggle. I can, too.”

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77 For various reasons, leaders may have difficulty fully expressing their broken hearts. So, as the coach you need to provide them safe place, with other leaders.

Seventy percent of your time as a coach should be spent having fun, loving, and helping your people grow in Christ. But make sure you let your people know they can get their needs met within the group.

Experience new forms of worship together.

Discovering different ways to worship corporately is an excellent way to encourage your members to express surrendered hearts. Simply ask, “Would you be responsible for coming up with some way we could worship the Lord creatively in our huddle next time we’re together?” Perhaps one week you will sing and the next take communion together. Foot washing is something not regularly done in our society, but it can be a powerful act of worship.

Perhaps someone will suggest prayer walking. Together, walk around a neighborhood and pray for the community and the individuals who inhabit the homes you are passing. Ask God to give peace to the individuals who are facing trials and for him to bring his salvation to them.

Also don’t forget the importance of getting away. Plan a 24-hour retreat at a hotel or campground, or go to dinner together. People need to know they’re cared for and they matter.

Remember more experiential things are better caught than taught--model worship.

Lead your people to a deeper place.

If people feel like they’re getting more than they’re giving in the ministry they’ll want to be with you. Send cards expressing that God believes in them.

Follow-up on a prayer requests, or give them a book that really challenged you to go to the next level. You’ll be surprised how loyal the members of your group become when they are getting more than they are giving.

Because life is busy, people often don’t take time for solitude with God. Creating times of solitude, even in a corporate setting, is essential for going deeper. Bring journals to group huddles, and play music quietly while members meditate and write down what God is revealing. When you carve out the time, you show your leaders that deepening one’s spiritual walk is a priority. We’re all thirsty. You need to provide your people with opportunities to get a sip of the living water.

You are not alone on the journey. There are people all across the country and even around the world who are trying to shepherd a few sheep. And remember, it isn’t just sheep who need to be shepherded; the shepherd needs to be shepherded, too. Let me encourage you to never forget and miss the opportunity to cultivate your relationship with the Chief Shepherd who knows, loves, and cares for you. It is hard to keep giving if you’re not receiving in your own walk with the Lord.

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Build community through communion Looking for a wonderful means of worshipping as a group? Why not lead your group in sharing the Lord’s Supper? If you’ve never done this before, the idea certainly seems daunting, but here is a simple form by which your small group can share this sacrament. Of course, churches vary in their treatment of Communion so you may need to adapt these suggestions to your church’s beliefs.

Steps in Serving Communion 1. Out of the context of your own experience, say something brief about God’s love, forgiveness, grace, mercy, commitment, tenderheartedness or faithfulness. Connect your words with the personal stories of the group. For example, “These past few weeks I’ve experienced God’s mercy in the way he untangled the situation with my son. And I’ve seen God show mercy to others of us here too, especially to Jean and Roger.” If you prefer, you can write down ahead of time what you want to say.

2. Read 1 Corinithians 11:23-26*: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For whenever you eat this break and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

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79 3. Pray silently, and pass the bread around the circle. While the bread is being passed, you may want to reflect quietly, sing a simple praise song, or listen to a worship tape.

4. When everyone has received the bread, remind them that this represents Jesus’ broken body on their behalf. Simply state, “Jesus said, ‘Do this in remembrance of me.’ Let us eat together,” and eat the break as a group.

5. Pray silently, and serve the cup.

You may pass a small tray, serve people individually, or have them pick up a cup from the table.

6. When everyone has been served, remind them that the cup represents Jesus’ blood shed for them. Simply state, “The cup of the new covenant is Jesus Christ’s blood shed for you.

Jesus said, ‘Do this in remembrance of me.’ Let us drink together.” Then drink the juice in a group.

5. Conclude by singing a simple song, listening to a praise song, or having a time of prayer in thanks to God. Practical Tips in Serving Communion 1. Prepare the elements simply, sacredly, and symbolically.

2. Be sensitive to timing in your meeting.

3. Break up pieces of cracker or soft break on a small plate or tray. Don’t use large servings of bread or grape juice. You should think about using grape juice—and not wine—because wine can cause some people to stumble.

4. Have all of the elements prepared beforehand, and just bring them into the room or to the table when you are ready. *Here are some other good Communion passages: Matthew 26:26-29, Mark 14:22-25, Luke 22:14-20, 1 Corinthians 10:16-21 or 1 Corinthians 11:17-34.

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Whoop It Up

9 ways to celebrate your group’s life together.

A few years ago, my wife was out of town, and I was really discouraged by some life issues.

Normally, our family goes to church with our small group, but our group wasn’t scheduled to go to church together that week. I needed their support more than ever.

I convinced myself to go to church anyway. As I walked through the back door, I was tempted to leave--I felt so alone. When I looked up to where my group normally sits, I saw hands waving at me. My small group met me with warm hugs and encouragement that swooped me out of my slump. This was exactly what I needed: to be celebrated and loved.

Celebrating life together is key to the health of every small group, and small group leaders need to make sure it happens. Hare are nine simple ways to ensure you and your group CELEBRATE life together.

1. COMMIT to gathering together.

The Bible teaches we are not to forsake assembling together—not just in corporate worship but also in small group worship. Acts tells us that new believers met both in temple courts and homes. Worship was a regular, day-to-day activity; it was not just a Sunday thing.

Romans 12:1 tells us to present our bodies as living and holy sacrifices, which is our spiritual act of worship. Often we need to gather together in order to do it. One of the most powerful things you can do is attend church together. Decide on a service to attend together for at least six weeks. Not everyone will make it, but those who do will be nurtured by the time in fellowship and worship together.

2. EXPERIENCE times of prayer in both large and small groups.

One way to make prayer a stress-free, worshipful time is to spend less time on prayer requests and more time praying.

One simple way to do this is to have each person share prayer requests as you pray. It shortens the time and gives more people a chance to pray for the request. Another way to make your prayer time more meaningful is to have one person briefly share a request, and then assign somebody to pray for that person immediately.

You also can focus your prayer time by having individuals write their requests on a card. Place them in the center of the table and have everyone grab one of the requests and pray for it.

Believe God has appointed who is going to get prayed for and by whom.

When these methods are acted out in smaller groups, your prayer time increases, and you can share requests in more detail. Regardless of how you pray, each time remember to share how God has answered previous prayers.

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81 3. LIFE is better together.

Most things in our lives are not meant by God to be done alone; however, we usually live our lives alone. Weekly ask your group members to share one thing they can thank God for. Then ask them to share a struggle.

A couple of months ago, my wife and I were going through a hard time with my son. Finally things turned around. When we went to our small group, we got to share how God had worked in our lives, and they celebrated with us. On one hand, our struggle seemed insignificant, but our group new it was big to us. We were grateful they were there to celebrate with us. So celebrate community with your people as much as you possibly can.

4. EXPERIENCE God through music and praise.

I can’t sing my way out of a paper bag, but I certainly have a heart for worship. Lifetogether’s worship series is borne out of the knowledge that most people don’t feel comfortable singing a cappella. When you use an audiotape, people place aside inhibitions and begin to worship wholeheartedly. When you bring in visuals as well, your worship is taken to a new level. It will transform how you experience the presence and power of Christ.

5. BUILD a community.

A community that shows up during hard times changes everything. When I found out my mom passed away, one of my dearest friends came to comfort me. He was so close to me, I felt comfortable enough to let myself fall apart. He caught me in his arms, and I sat there and wept like a baby and let him love on me.

A few weeks later, he found out he and his wife were not able to have a baby. We started praying for them. Time passed, and, amazingly, she got pregnant. We celebrated and prayed for months. Then they had another baby, and we just kept praying. And then they had another baby, which we also celebrated.

Celebrate both the ups and the downs together. It is our chance to be the body of Christ and bear one another’s burdens.

6. RECRUIT a person or a team to champion praise and prayer as well as fellowship events.

Assign someone to put together a prayer journal or an email prayer schedule that updates

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82 the group on prayer requests. Encourage other members to host a group dinners. During this time, check in on prayer requests from prior weeks and how life is going.

7. AFFIRM one another’s life in community.

Each person in your group is uniquely gifted. Write down a word or a sentence that expresses how grateful you are for them, how you appreciate who they are, and how God uniquely made them.

Whether it’s their birthday or a particular holiday like Christmas, make sure that every person in your group is affirmed. As a group you may want to send out cards that celebrate momentous occasions are extend sympathy during tough times.

For birthdays, have everyone in the group write a personal note to the member whose birthday is being celebrated, and encourage them to read the card to the person. Also, when people leave the group, send them off with encouraging notes.

When people join the group, extend a warm welcome through a kind note.

8. TEACH new forms of worship.

This doesn’t need to happen overnight, but over time. Try experiencing communions together, a foot-washing service, or a night of worship, or a night of extended prayer for the church or community. Make the night different—perhaps light some candles or play some soft worship music in the background--so when people come in they focus themselves. Even encourage them to fast for a day prior to the meeting to prepare their hearts.

9. EVALUATE your progress and review your plans.

If you take a little bit of time celebrating what God has done, and confirming where you want to go next, your group will deepen and grow. It also will ensure that some people on the fence will stay with the group. Make sure that it is everybody’s, not yours.

The simple way to do this is to discuss what is and isn’t working. Have individuals jot down their ideas on 3x5 cards. Take them home and pray about them. The following week, discuss the issues and suggestions.

One young couple had a group, and they did this. They had just led their first six weeks, and they were a little nervous about the response. They just collected the cards, they all went to bed that night and then they went through them. They said they went to bed that night in tears because of all God had already done, after just six weeks.

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“What Have You Got Planned This Summer?”

As your group approaches the summer months it will be helpful to have a plan for connecting.

You’ve worked hard to get to know each other! You’ve gotten to a point where you are beginning to form some great relationships that really will help you grow spiritually…as long as you stay connected!

The summer is always a challenging time for small groups. With vacations and time away, camps for the kids, swimming parties and barbeques on the weekends, family reunions, and so many other great things to do, it is sometimes hard to fit your small group into the calendar! In fact, is it even possible? The answer is usually, “YES, AS LONG AS YOU PLAN AHEAD!” So the question is, how can you keep your group growing together over the summer? Here are some tips that many groups have found helpful

Top 10 Ideas for a Great Summer

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1.

Make your plans now, before you get into the heat of the summer.

a. Pull out a calendar and compare vacation plans! You may find several good meeting dates right in front of you!

b. Don’t be afraid to meet on a different night if it helps you get more of the group there for the meeting.

c. Realize going into the planning session that you may not all be able to be at every meeting. And it’s ok to meet with just part of the group as long as you can include everyone over the course of the summer months.

2.

Consider scaling back on your meetings. If you’re meeting every week, give some thought to twice a month. If you’re meeting twice a month, think about meeting once for study and once for fellowship (maybe even at the park or an Astro’s game).

3.

Talk with your Division Leader about putting several groups together for a picnic. This can be a great time to get to know a few more people at Fellowship of The Woodlands! It is also a great opportunity to invite neighbors and friends to your group!

4.

Plan a block party and ask your group to help you plan it and put it on!

5.

Plan a movie night and take the whole family. All the families! Or have the movie night

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at home! Pop popcorn and serve cokes and movie candy! You might even have your own multi-plex theater: one screen for the kids and another for the adults.

6.

Have a game night! Playing Pictionary, Scattergories or Crainium can be a great way to get to know your group. Or try playing Bunko or Mexican Dominoes. Whatever pulls you together and can include the kids is a great way to connect your group.

7.

Give some thought to connecting to serve someone else! You may know of a family or a person that just needs some help with their yard or their home. Finding a way to play a part in meeting a need is a great way to stay connected!

8.

Serve together in the nursery or children’s ministry! Serve together as Ushers or Greeters!

Sign up to serve on Saturday morning outreaches! Volunteer in the Small Group Ministry at your church and help new folks find a group!

9.

Sit together at the weekend service! This is a no-brainer. Even if you normally don’t attend the same service, consider linking arms for the summer! Then, go out for lunch or coffee and desert after the service!

10. Have a monthly party and invite your friends to join your group for dinner and a fun activity.

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Honor Your Leaders!

How publicly affirming your group leaders sets blessings in motion

As a leadership coach, you have a crucial role in sustaining the small group structure of your church. Without this layer of your leadership, small groups stand on shaky ground for the simple reason that their leaders feel unsupported and therefore unwilling to take ownership of the group and its mission.

To keep this from happening, you need to let your group leaders know that they are most valued people in the life-change process of your church. You do this by honoring them and building them up—in front of the senior leadership of your church.

At Saddleback Church, Rick Warren attended a conference with over a thousand small group leaders. He broke down in front of them all, telling them how much they all meant to him. He said, “I can see every one of you taking care of a group of ten kids or five guys in a coffee shop or a Celebrate Recovery 12-step group or whatever it is you do.”

By saying these words, Rick brought value and honor to each of them. Those leaders left that conference ready to pass that blessing down to their apprentices and and every member of their group. This model is based on Jesus’ approach: He focused on the few—and blessed them—in order to reach—and bless—the many.

By establishing this “trickle down” model of honoring, everyone involved in a small group gets cared for and coached at the same time.

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AppenDix

building lifetogether APPENDIX Small

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87 Session 1: Building the heart of your groups for life Answer Key 1.

The History of a Coach Character Commitment Competency Chemistry

2.

The Heart of the Coach Heart Experience Available Reluctant Teachable

3.

The Hands of a Coach Minister Mentor Motivate Multiply Magnify

4.

The Habits of a Coach (ABC) Accountable Balance Called

Session 2: Minister to the needs of your leaders and small groups Answer Key

Make Include Never Insist Share Thank Envision Remind

Session 3: Mentor the spiritual health of your leaders and small groups Answer Key

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Motivate Encourage Never Tell One Return

Session 4: Motivate the spiritual gifts of your leaders and small groups Answer Key Model Ownership Tell Invite Validate Ask Train Expect

Session 5: Multiply the spiritual lives of your leaders and small groups Answer Key

Motivate Understand Love Transform Inspire Plan List You

Session 6: Magnify Christ together with your leaders and small groups Answer Key

Model Apply Gather Never Introduce Form

You

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COaching faq’s

Why do you recommend recruiting “hosts?” What is a “Host Home” concept?

Most churches, even with a decent small group ministry, need to launch new groups with new leaders. And if you have no small group ministry—it’s the only way to begin.

So, what is the bottleneck of small groups in most churches?

Leaders, if you could crack the code for recruiting and developing leaders, your ministry would explode.

We’ve found the best way for that to happen is to launch a 6-week small group campaign in your church. It has a beginning and an end—and so people feel it’s doable. And you don’t ask for leaders. You publicly invite people to open their homes to host one of these groups. People are not intimidated by opening up their home.

We’ve found that when churches ask for hosts—they blow the doors off—they end up with more hosts than they expected. And then they struggle to fill each Host Home with 8 to 12 members. It’s a wonderful problem to have—more hosts than people to fill the home.

So, a Host is simply someone or a couple who opens their home for a six-week study. And then, in the coaching process, we help churches identify the leaders in each group. The purpose of a “Designed for Life” group, for example, is to engage—in the context of community—to answer the question: “What is God’s design for my life?”

We encourage churches to align their weekend services with the six-week campaign. It simultaneously combines the weekend services and the formation of people in small groups on the same topic: to focus on and practice God’s core values in our lives—together.

How do I recruit and train new leaders/hosts?

First, stop recruiting “leaders” and start recruiting people who would be willing to open their home! With the Video and DVD curriculums available from Lifetogether or others, ordinary members can lead or “host” a group like never before. Your response will be 10:1 of previous methods. We used to say, “If you can read, you can lead”. Now, we say, “If you have a DVD, just watch it and see.”.

Second, rotate the leadership of your groups weekly. This is the most natural way to cultivate an unlimited harvest of leaders for any group. One group, one leader at a time—what I call the “crock pot method” of leadership development. This has become the most revolutionary approach to preparing the soil for an upcoming harvest.

Finally, recognize that ultimately, it is not about your great training program; it’s more about getting people into groups and just watching what God does through the lives of ordinary leaders and their groups. The Bible says that Paul planted, Apollo watered but God caused the growth. Simply pray to the Lord of the harvest, get them into community, and watch God do the rest.

What is a Host responsible for?

Opening their home to a few friends and church family, plugging in the DVD, and facilitating a few questions for six weeks using the bible study curriculum you’ve selected. Hosts may also encourage personal reading time by all the group members using a devotional book or journal.

If I am a Host, for example, who ends up being in the six-week study?

Your small group consists of between 8 and 12 members. You are able to choose how your group gets formed— you can have people assigned to your group and/or invited by you! Here are what your options look like: A. B.

Friends of the Host: You may fill your group with people you know from your church or with your spiritually seeking friends who do not attend.

Friends of the Church: Your small group ministry team or person will automatically assign church people who sign up for your time and type of group unless you inform the team that your group is filled with those you have personally invited.

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89 C.

Friends of friends: Friends of Friends are another primary way a Host may fill their groups. One couple knows another couple and they know about ten other people, the rest is history.

Should Hosts invite people only from the church or seeker friends?

That is totally up to the Host. The point is to seek God prayerfully about who to invite. Hundreds of new groups have welcomed their unbelieving neighbors and seeking friends.

What happens at the end of the six-week starter groups?

In the 4th week of your study, we recommend that the Hosts invite the members of their group to continue for another six-week study. Some groups will continue, some will join other groups & some members and/or groups will stop meeting. Make sure you have a curriculum plan for the entire year. You’ll be surprised how many groups will continue.

What about Hosts that don’t want to continue after the first six-week study?

We ask the Hosts, then, in this instance, to prayerfully ask God to make apparent someone among the group who can replace him or her. That is the hope—an ongoing, life-giving, healthy small group. Someone needs to be identified as the “point person” for the group, but responsibilities can be rotated, including refreshments, prayer requests, worship and keeping up with those who miss a meeting. Shared ownership in the group helps everyone grow.

How do I equip and develop leaders?

We have found that 90% of equipping and development of leaders can be done through what we call “just in time training” within the curriculum we have produced. A large part of developing leaders is based on relationships but ease of facilitating a small group takes away all fears. Regular meetings at your church after the initial 6 weeks will keep the hosts informed and educated.

How do I “pre-engineer” for major growth in the number of groups?

One of the best ways we have found to deal with large growth is to identify the groups by geography first and then if needed by affinity (couples, singles, women and men groups). Once you have assessed this assign staff or lay leadership (which we call division leaders/community leaders) over 20-25 groups preferably in their neighborhood area. Not only does this give these “Coaches/supervisors value but proximity that helps the “ownership” factor to be high, if the groups are in their area and in their affinity/ life stage.

How do you re-engineer existing small groups?

One of the easiest ways is to conduct a whole church spiritual growth campaign and have every ministry and age level, studying the same thing. If everyone is included in the vision and the plan for growth, 85% of the existing groups will buy into the program. At several churches the Senior Pastors have also asked all ministries and groups to NOT MEET for a period of 6-8 weeks (depending on the curriculum) so that every one of the members can go out and host or co-host a group for the growth campaign. It’s also important to have a curriculum that prioritizes the

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90 importance of rotating leadership. This accomplishes the re-engineering without the “birthing” pain; they don’t even know they are changing.

Wondering what to do on Day 41 of the campaign?

The Doing Lifetogether Series has become one of the best follow-up curriculums to the 40 Days of Purpose campaign. This Purpose DrivenTM Group Resource has been recommended by Rick Warren as the first series built completely on the Purpose DrivenTM paradigm. If you finished the campaign last fall or this spring you can recommend to your small groups and Sunday School classes to begin right away. All you need is a six week window and your groups can test drive the next six week series in this exciting new study on the purposes. It follows the same format of the 40 Days of Purpose and allows for a more complete study on each purpose.

We recommend you study either the “Connecting with God’s Family” (fellowship study) first, then the “Grow to be more like Christ” (discipleship study). Don’t worry if you can’t complete all six sessions before the Thanksgiving and Christmas break; this will help to ensure the group sticks together over the holidays. The final recommendation is to use the “Sharing your Life Mission Everyday” (Evangelism study) immediately following the Grow study and marching up to the cross together as a group or church at Easter. One church improved their Easter attendance by almost 40% by having all their groups go through the study at the same time. Lifetogether also has other studies available, visit our website for our latest offerings.

How do you make groups become really meaningful for participants?

Feed their need... A group can be meaningful to it’s participants for many reasons, from relationships to physical, mental, and emotional needs being met, to accomplishing a goal together, to serving a greater good together... the essence is in ‘doing Lifetogether.” God created us to be in relationship with Him first and then each other not far behind. Figure out what your groups want by listening... and you will not be disappointed by the results of ... Feeding their need.

What curriculum should I use?

There are many good choices of bible study curriculum for small groups. Lifetogether has a wonderful series we recommend you consider because of its purpose based philosophy and its DVD components. Go to lifetogether.com for more information.

To answer your further questions, we have created a website called www.lifetogether.com that can be your small group coach. Here are ten reasons to check out this website: 1. Top twenty questions every new leader asks 2. Common problems most new leaders face and ways to overcome them 3. Seven steps to building a healthy small group in six weeks 4. Free downloadable resources and leadership support 5. Additional leadership training material for every lesson in the Experiencing Christ Together series 6. Ten stories from leaders who successfully completed this study 7. Free chat rooms and bulletin boards 8. Downloadable Health Assessments and Health Plans for individuals or groups 9. A chance to join a community of small group leaders by affinity, geography, or denominational affiliation 10. Best of all, a free newsletter with the best ideas from leaders around the world

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Small Group Ministry Job Descriptions Community Leader

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Coach

Role Objective

Role Objective

Champions 15-25 groups, focusing on creation, growth and expansion of healthy groups. They cast vision, manage groups & lead what is next in order to grow the ministry

Leads 1-5 hosts to encourage, motivate and inspire them and their groups to have a balanced spiritual health. Develops relationships with hosts to shepherd them to their next step

Characteristics of the Individual

Characteristics of the Individual

Includes:

The HEART of the Coach includes:

·

Loyalty to the Senior Pastor and the Senior Leaders of the church

·

Hands are open to God in service

·

A proven gift of leadership inside and outside of the church

·

Encourgement to their Leaders and Members

·

Committed to the principle of doing life together (demonstrated by the personal life style of living life together in the church)

·

Available to minister and serve

·

Life reflects the character of a deacon 1Timothy 3:8-13

·

Reluctant ‘real’ servant spirit (Moses, Peter)

·

A growing walk with Christ

·

Teachable for what God has for them in this role

Responsibilities

Responsibilities

Provide Leadership and decentralized management oversight to groups

Provide shepherding to a few groups

Cast vision, manage groups & lead what is next in order to grow the ministry

Be one step ahead and give them only one step at a time to keep them moving forward.

Gather hosts and groups for regional celebration, training and retreats

CONNECT with them regularly. 5 ways: 1)One on one 2)Visit the group (quarterly), 3)Huddle with them as leaders, fellowship, socialize, 4)Email, 5) Call them or teleconference

Administer the spiritual development and growth of coaches, hosts and members

CULTIVATE the ‘health’ of the hosts and groups through spiritual partners and mentors

Inspire groups to multiply

Coach groups to multiply

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Provide leadership to the 5 M’s:

Practice the 5 M’s with hosts and members:

Minister to the individual hearts

Minister to the individual hearts

Mentor the spiritual health of members and groups

Mentor the spiritual health of members and groups

Motivate the development of spiritual gifts

Motivate the development of spiritual gifts

Multiply the individual spiritual lives of their community

Multiply the individual spiritual lives of their community

Model the surrendered heart

Model the surrendered heart

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Coaching & Training Tools

1. Church Teams Web site: http://www.churchteams.com/ Purpose of GroupFinder: Provide an easy method to place people into groups, maintain accurate records about groups and members of groups, electronically communicate to leaders and members in groups, and provide important ministry reports about groups.

GroupFinder general features include: 1. Accessible – It is built on the web, so it is accessible to all prospects, members, hosts, coaches and community leaders.

2. Connect people into groups – Cards from a service can be collected and entered or individuals can sign-up for a group on the web.

3. Decentralize group management and communication - One of the best features is the ability for the group hosts to maintain their own group information.

1. Customize – Integrates with the home church web site, accommodates custom fields for matching people into groups, allows custom reports.

For a 30 day free trial, go to: http//www.churchteams.com. After that the standard pricing is based on the size of your congregation. Check the web for current rates.

Subscription Cost:

2. Constant Contact® Web site: http://www.constantcontact.com/ Purpose of Constant Contact®: Provide a Do-It-Yourself Email communication in an HTML format. It provides a vehicle for delivering timely information to your congregation, hosts and members of small groups.

It is a great tool for communicating to small groups and congregations in a very professional easy method. It is also very affordable. The tool not only helps you build the newsletter, but helps you manage subscriptions to the newsletter.

· · · · ·

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Builds and manages permission email lists of all sizes Over 60 customizable HTML email templates (or start from scratch) 100% web-based and no technical skill required FREE phone and email support Affordable monthly pricing. See the web site for current pricing.

94 3. Yahoo Group Web site: http://www.yahoo.com/group/lifetogethergroup#/ Purpose of Yahoo Groups: Yahoo groups is a place on the web for group communication to happen very effectively. You will be able to post messages, chat online, store files that can be shared as a group, provide links to other resources, store pictures of people, and email the entire group or individual members of the group. You can maintain an online calendar for your entire team. Lifetogether has chosen Yahoo groups as our online tool for coaching. You can do the same with your team. One church used it to do the weekly coaching with small group leaders using the messaging capability.

As part of our one year of coaching you will have access to hundreds of resources that will guide you through launching small groups in your church.

4. Zoomerang Web site: http://www.zommerang.com/ Purpose of Zoomerang: Zoomerang is an internet based survey tool developed to easily gather feedback and analyze results to make important decisions.

Zoomerang is an excellent tool for capturing information about the congregation very quickly. It is also an excellent for getting quick responses from small group hosts for a variety of reasons and a variety of times during a campaign. Some of them include: 1. Qualify Hosts for hosting a group 2. Give a small group health assessment 3. Gather group information such as number of members 1. Determine the plans for group continuation Zoomerang has excellent management capability. Follow-up is very easy. You can re-email those who have not responded. It imports your email addresses and provides multiple reporting options including cross-tabulation of fields.

The Zoomerang survey can be place on the church web site and used to collect host or member sign-up information or be sent to everyone in the church via email.

5. CTI Web site Web site: http://www.christianitytoday.com/smallgroups/ Purpose of CTI: CTI is a great Small Group Website.

The general features of the web site include specific information targeted for the small group member, host, champion and senior pastor. It has articles, stories, tip of the week, tool of the week, a group lifter each week and discussions behind the scene with authors. It will give you a pathway to launch small groups and connect 100% of your congregation in community. It is intended to coach you and your small groups at your church into practicing the 5 purposes. A weekly newsletter is mailed to you each week at no cost to you.

6. Health Assessment Web site: Can be done with ChurchTeams or Zoomerang

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95 Purpose of the Health Assessment: It is one of the most effective ways to build the purposes in to the hearts of people. Taking the Health Assessment will: 1. Cast vision for the individual. It will help them make the purposes come to life.

2. Cast vision as a small group. A small group can do more together than as individuals.

3. Cast vision for the church. As church leaders knowing where the church is at will help in developing a ministry plan that will take your church to the next level of practicing the purposes.

How do get started with the Health Assessment: Here are the three ways we suggest you can get started: 1. Sign-up for ChurchTeams and load all of your church email addresses into the database. Then send a email using ChurchTeams to your entire congregation inviting them to take the assessment.

2. Email us at Lifetogether and request a unique survey be created for you church. Then send it out from your senior pastor’s desk.

1. Ask every small group to take the survey and provide the results to you using paper.

Check out our instructions for launching the health assessment using ChurchTeams on our CD or Yahoo groups. Also included is a sample cover letter that could be sent out from your senior pastor.

7. Other downloadable resources:

Lifetogether web site: www.lifetogether.com/downloads.php

· 7 Ways to transform your small group ministry · One Year of Purpose bulletin insert · Purpose Driven Health Assessment · Circles of Life · Spiritual Partners · Prayer and Praise · Small Group Roster · Small Group Calendar · Small Group Leader Role

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Coaching & Training Plans

The small groups coaching & training team provides the structure and resources to oversee all small groups in the church. The team will deliver group materials, training, and group leader training to ensure a successful launch of small groups. They are the team that provides ongoing operational oversight to small groups and Community Leaders to develop small groups as a lifestyle at the church.

The Coaching & Training Coordinator will: · Recruit and orient Hosts, Coaches and Community Leaders · Provide Shepherding and training to Hosts, Coaches and Community Leaders · Develop and distribute surveys for coaching

Coaching & Training Strategy · · · · · · · · · ·

Determine how much study material you will order.

Discuss how the study material will be distributed and paid for.

Decide how you will staff a centralized phone support for the campaign.

Select what tools and methods you will use for matching hosts and members.

Decide what volunteers you will need to perform the host and member matching.

Organize and staff an information table on the weekends.

Collect and enter Host commitment cards & new member sign-up cards.

Decide how people will sign-up for a group after groups have started.

Determine what reports are needed for managing groups.

Maximize the involvement and show appreciation of volunteers.

Coaching and Training Ideas

1. Plan a Host rally before the campaign begins to gain more involvement.

2. Community Leader (Division Leader) recruiting & training – use the “Coaching Life Together” video’s.

3. Host a half-day retreat or vision casting session for the community leaders and small group team to mobilize and motivate them.

4. During Host orientation, show the Hosts how to access the just in time training on the DVD and the training resources in the back of the study guide. Then toward the end of the campaign before the next series ask the community leaders to help gather Hosts in their homes to view the leading life together material together and discuss it.

5. Host training – Use the “Leading Life Together” videos.

6. Distribute a Host pack to all hosts containing: a. b. c. d. e. f. g. h. i.

DVD 8 books Roster Collection Table Tent Collection/Roster Envelope 30 post cards Host frequently asked questions Story Pages Story Page Envelope

7. Meet regularly with the Community Leaders throughout the campaign at a weekly breakfast or luncheon.

8. Hold an appreciation dinner for the Hosts and ask them to share stories of what God has done in their groups.

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97 9. Send out Zoomerang surveys to capture information about the groups and their plans to continue after the first 6 weeks.

10. Send out Zoomerang survey’s after the first 6 weeks to get feedback on the groups and their experience.

11. Send out a Zoomerang survey to evaluate the health of the groups.

Coaching & Leadership Roles Community Leaders Purpose: To fulfill the mission of the church by managing, ministering and administering the spiritual development of individuals by insuring the growth and expansion of twenty or more small groups.

Requirement: Financially able to volunteer 5 to 15 hours per week to fulfill this ministry as a staff member of the church.

Qualifications: · Loyalty to the Senior Pastor and the Senior Leaders of the church · A proven gift of leadership inside and outside of the church · Committed to the principle of doing life together (demonstrated by the personal life style of living life together in the church) · Life reflects the character of a deacon - 1Timothy 3:8-13 · A growing walk with Christ · Personal S.H.A.P.E. matches with this role Expectations: Minister to the individual hearts of the community of their responsibility (the members, leaders and coaches) · Mentor the spiritual health of those in their community beginning with the leaders and coaches · Motivate the development of spiritual gifts throughout their community · Multiply the individual spiritual lives of their community (not only the multiplication of leaders and groups but the life changes of people) ·

Assumptions: Will have availability during weekdays as well as weekends to do this ministry always maximizing opportunities around services · Has communication connections i.e. Cell phone and E-mail · Will not require campus office space but can utilize campus-meeting spaces and will be linked in the intra-staff network and voice mail. · Will receive training and mentoring to fulfill this ministry ·

Coaching and Training Deliverables: Coaching Plan Write Frequently Asked Questions Gather Stories Small

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98 Area Leaders events Area rally’s with groups Recruit hosts Recruit Area Leaders Host Orientation Area Leader training Host Training Host & Member materials Community Leader scripts for talking with hosts Community Leader meeting agenda Host newsletter Host Kit Host Scripts for inviting members Host ideas for recruiting members Host list of names to call from church in neighborhood Hosts & member FAQs Host Orientation agenda Host Rally agenda Host Training agenda Stories for promotion Host survey before groups meet Host survey during first 3 weeks Host survey for continuing after 6 weeks Host post-campaign survey Group health assessment

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When

Answer the top ten questions for the second launch

3 months before

Recruit Community Leaders

2-3 months before

Staff Rally held

2-3 months before

Church Health Assessment Completed

2-3 months before

Hosts recruited from current ministries

8 weeks before

Distribute the Senior Pastor’s Video asking for a 6 week vacation

8 weeks before

Orient and Train Community leaders

6-8 weeks before

Request written stories from small group leaders and members

6-8 weeks before

Collect stories from hosts and members to give live testimonies during services

6-8 weeks before

Survey groups for what’s next

6-8 weeks before

Match community leaders to coaches and coaches to hosts

3-4 weeks before

Hold a Leadership Rally at the church

3-4 weeks before

Create host pack of material for orientation training

3-4 weeks before

Host orientation & training Distribute material at orientation

2-3 weeks before

Host affirmation Survey via Zoomerang

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2 weeks before

New groups launched – celebrate and commission hosts in the weekend service

Launch Week

Write weekly prayer & praise report

Launch week

Meet with Community Leaders weekly

Launch week

1st week of the small group meeting

Launch week

Survey groups after 3 weeks

3rd week

Mid-Campaign Meeting with Community Leaders and hosts

4th week

Host survey after series

6th week

Date

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Agenda for Community Leader Meeting with Buddies and Hosts 1. Thank them - cast vision for what you see God doing through them and emphasize the vital part they are doing giving people a place to belong and creating safe environments for people to connect together and grow in Christ in your church and in your community. Share on verse with them and tell them what you have been praying for them.

2. Cover the agenda & outcome of the time together 3. Use ice breaker introductions 4. What’s Hot: Share one story around the table (of how God has used their small group in peoples lives. Have the group pick one story to share with larger group. You may only have time to do 2-3 of these) 5. Strategic Next Steps · Review the expectations and the calendar · Provide a calendar of events · Provide a description of what is next. Encourage them to rotate facilitation and discover who else can host. Tell them to present the next 6 week material to their group and then bring it to closure the following week after everyone has had time to contemplate it. · Give them questionnaire for them to complete (to indicate plans for future) Tell stories of group service projects and encourage each group to do one during this series.

6. Share the tools for being an effective buddy and effective host a. For buddies: share the 4 P’s and weekly questions to ask b. For hosts: use the create your own community or how to host a successful Small Group video if available.

7. Have buddies meet with host and discuss prayer requests and questions they have. (pray on the spot for difficult issues) (what has been your small group experience?)

8. What’s Next: · When they will meet again together - mid-campaign · How will you communicate with them weekly 9. Schedule a host training with everyone if possible 1. Buddies and Hosts feel appreciated by the church & connected with the community leader 2. Buddies and Hosts get questions answered or know where to get them answered 3. A clear weekly communication plan is put in place 10. They have a clear plan for continuing their group after 6 weeks.

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Small Group Hosts: Ministry Description Heart for God & people Open your home for 6 weeks Serve coffee or dessert Tell a few friends Regular church attendance. If the leader lives away from church (e.g. college campus), the leader should actively attend a church near to them.

Faithful attendance of any HOST meetings, if scheduled. These meetings will help to equip you stay ahead of the leadership curve of your members so you can better serve them.

Commitment to your relationship with your Community Leader. It is impossible to have relationships without communication. Your Community Leader is an experienced small group leader and is here to relationally support you through prayer, communicating important information updates and answering your questions. Your Community Leader will take initiative to be in communication with you, but you as a Small Group Leader must match that initiative in order for a relationship to develop that will maximize your experience as a HOST. Weekly communication with each of your group members. Since you will probably already know the people in your group, this is an easy and fun one! Since it is impossible to have relationship w/o communication, HOSTs are expected to communicate weekly with their group members in addition to their normal group time. This could just mean a short email, phone call, note, etc. You will be surprised at how this will also positively impact the quality of your small group time, as people will become more comfortable with sharing.

Positioning your group to be open and accessible to new people. We were all new once, right?

Positioning your group to be open to new people means keeping your contact info current, group times and meeting places consistent, and an open chair for “walk ins�. Make sure you communicate any changes to group time or place with your Community Leader.

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Sharing Your Story We know that God is doing some awesome things in the lives of many individuals throughout our small group campaign. We would like to capture some of these stories and share them with other H.O.S.T.s, group members, and with the entire church. Would you be willing to share your story and the story of members of your group with us? Below are some suggestions of topics to consider. Please share one lesson God is doing in your life through this time.

Some ideas for sharing your story with other leaders includes: 1) How you were feeling when you began this journey?

2) How was your first meeting together. You may have been nervous or unsure of what would happen. Would you be willing to share what God did during that first meeting?

3) You learned something through some of the group members, during your devotion, or while life was happening that resulted in a life transformation.

4) Share how God turned a fear or failure into a fabulous story. a) Share how you or someone in your group deepened or developed in one of the five purposes. b) How has your small group helped reveal God’s purpose for your life? i) For some of you, connecting with other people is one of the easiest things in the world to do. For others of you, it’s the most frightening thing you can imagine. ii) What were your fears, problems, hesitations before you decided be a part of your small group? c) What are the blessings, or benefits or good you have received from joining your small group? (family, surprised, never realized what it could do for me, healing, help from others, spiritual growth, etc.)

How has being a part of small group helped you grow to be like Christ?

Some guidelines for stories include: · · Explain it in terms of first person “I”, “our” is okay too. · Think about one of the five purposes and how it developed in your life. · Answer the “so what” question. · Why was this important to you? · One sentence reflections are best. · Share failures as well as successes. · Prayerfully ask God for what he wants everyone to hear. · Tell it like you are telling it to your leader or spiritual partner. · Have it help others to grow and look more to God. · Use a story that was meaningful to you.

Use humor, but be sure to get to the heart as well.

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small group covenant It’s a good idea for every group to put words to their shared values, expectations, and commitments. A written agreement will help you avoid unspoken agendas and disappointed expectations. You’ll discuss your agreement in session 1, and then you’ll revisit it in week 6 to decide whether you want to modify anything as you move forward as a group. (Alternatively, you may agree to end your group in week 6. Feel free to modify anything that doesn’t work for your group.

If the idea of having a written agreement is unfamiliar to your group, we encourage you to give it a try. A clear agreement is invaluable for resolving conflict constructively and for setting your group on a path to health.

We agree to the following values:

Childcare _______________________ _______________________

Safety To help create a safe place where people can be heard. No quick answers or judgments.

When we will meet (day of the week) _______________________ _______________________

Confidentiality To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential.

What’s said in group, stays in group.

Where we will meet (place) _______________________ _______________________

Accountability To give permission to group members to hold you accountable to the goals you set for yourself.

We will begin at___________ , and close at___________

Assimilation To keep the door open to others in our church (unconnected and unchurched people) who need what we have.

We will study _______________________ _______________________

Responsibility To take an active role in the responsibilities of this small group.

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Refreshments/Mealtimes _______________________ _______________________

Attendance To give priority to the group meeting. Call when absent or late.

Rotation To rotate hosting responsibilities for the meeting.

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WHAT WE WANT TO DO ABOUT:

We will do our best (some or all of us) to attend the following service together: _______________________ _______________________

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small Group Calendar Healthy purpose-driven groups share responsibilities and group ownership. This usually doesn’t happen overnight but progressively over time. Sharing responsibilities and ownership ensures that no one person carries the group alone. The calendar below can help you in this area.

You can also add a social event, mission project, birthdays, or days off to your calendar. This should be completed after your first or second meeting. Planning ahead will facilitate better attendance and greater involvement from others.

DATE

LESSON

LOCATION

DESSERT/ FACILITATOR MEAL

Personal Health ASSESSMENT

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PERSONAL HEALTH ASSESSMENT CONNECTING with God’s family

I am intentionally cultivating my relationships with Christian friends & spiritual mentors I am cultivating authentic community by speaking truth in love and creating healthy boundaries

I am more loving, grace giving & forgiving to others than I was a year ago I am resolving conflict with others in a Biblical manner, and supporting the leadership of this church family

I am willing to share my real needs for prayer and support with others

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Connecting Total ________________

GROWING to be like Christ I have an intimate relationship with God, growing spiritually through regular quiet time in God’s Word & prayer. (Spiritual Habits)

I respond to challenges with peace and faith to protect me from pain rather than anxiety and fear

I see myself more through God’s eyes than my own I avoid using addictive behaviors (food, television, busyness, etc.)

I am honoring God with my finances & my personal giving (budget) to God

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Growing Total ________________

DEVELOPING your SHAPE to serve others I am expressing my gifts (S.H.A.P.E.) as a way of life at work and at home I’ve attended the 301 CLASS, discovered my SHAPE & completed the SHAPE interview I am serving in a regular (monthly or better) ministry to the church body I am sharing responsibility within my small group by serving in a role I am praying, discipling, or mentoring another person in the group or community

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Developing Total ________________

SHARING your life mission every day I am actively praying for & cultivating relationships with unchurched friends & family I am inviting seekers to church and sharing my spiritual story with them I am participating in cross-cultural missions by discovering needs and praying for them I am praying and considering where God can use my cross-culturally in the future I am reproducing my life spiritually and/or praying for when this will happen

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Sharing Total ________________

SURRENDERING your life for God’s pleasure I am faithfully attending church worship services on the weekends I have created a life mission statement and am seeking to fulfill it I am growing in my personal worship to God through music & praise I am surrendering my whole life by improving my exercise and nutrition I am honoring God with every dimension of my life by balancing His purposes in my life

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Surrendering Total ________________

Just Beginning 0-5

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FAIR 5-10

Getting Going 10-15

VERY GOOD 15-20

Well Developed 20-30

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Personal Health Plan

POSSIBILITIES PLANS (NEXT STEP) PURPOSES

(Primary Questions)

(Sample Plans)

CONNECTING

• Attend my group more faithfully.

Who am I connecting with spiritually?

• Schedule lunch with a group member.

WITH GOD’S FAMILY

(Purpose of Fellowship) Hebrews 10:24-25; Ephesians 2:19

GROWING

TO BE LIKE CHRIST What is my next step for growth?

(Purpose of Discipleship) Colossians 1:28; Ephesians 4:15

DEVELOPING

YOUR SHAPE TO SERVE OTHERS

• Begin praying for a spiritual partner • Commit to personal time with God three days a week.

• Ask a friend for devotional accountability • Begin journaling my prayers

• Begin praying for a personal ministry

Where am I serving in ministry?

• Attend a gift discovery class

(Purpose of Serving)

• Serve together at a church event or in the community

Ephesians 4:11-13; 1 Corinthians 12:7; 1 Peter 3:10

SHARING

YOUR LIFE MISSION EVERYDAY How am I shepherding another in Christ?

(Purpose of Evangelism)

• Start meeting for lunch with a seeker friend • Invite a non- Christian relative to church

Matthew 28:19-20; Acts 20:24

• Pray for and support an overseas missionary

SURRENDERING

• Submit one area to God

YOUR HEART AS WORSHIP

How am I surrendering my heart today?

(Purpose of Worship) Romans 12:1&2; Psalm 27:6b

Monthly Review

• Be honest about my struggles and hurt • Buy a music CD for worship my car and in the group

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Personal Health Plan PURPOSES

(Renew & Revise) 2-Month Review Date _____

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PROGRESS

(Renew & Revise) 3-Month Review Date _____

PROGRESS

(Renew & Revise) 6-Month Review Date _____

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Small Group Health ASSESSMENT CONNECTING with God’s family

We are intentionally cultivating our relationships with Christian friends & spiritual mentors We are cultivating authentic community by speaking truth in love and creating healthy boundaries

We are more loving, grace giving & forgiving to others than we were a year ago

We are resolving conflict with others in a Biblical manner, and supporting the leadership of this church family

We are willing to share our real needs for prayer and support with others

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Connecting Total ________________

GROWING to be like Christ We have an intimate relationship with God, growing spiritually through regular quiet time in God’s Word & prayer. (Spiritual Habits)

We respond to challenges with peace and faith to protect us from pain rather than anxiety and fear

We see ourselves more through God’s eyes than our own

We avoid using addictive behaviors (food, television, busyness, etc.)

We are honoring God with our finances & our personal giving (budget) to God

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Growing Total ________________

DEVELOPING your SHAPE to serve others We are expressing our gifts (S.H.A.P.E.) as a way of life at work and at home

We’ve attended the 301 CLASS, discovered our SHAPE & completed the SHAPE interview We are serving in a regular (monthly or better) ministry to the church body

We are sharing responsibility within our small group by serving in a role

We are praying, discipling, or mentoring another person in the group or community

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Developing Total ________________

SHARING your life mission every day We are actively praying for & cultivating relationships with unchurched friends & family We are inviting seekers to church and sharing our spiritual story with them

We are participating in cross-cultural missions by discovering needs and praying for them We are praying and considering on where God can use our cross-culturally in the future We are reproducing our life spiritually and/or praying for when this will happen

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Sharing Total ________________

SURRENDERING your life for God’s pleasure We are faithfully attending church worship services on the weekends

We have created a life mission statement and are seeking to fulfill it

We are growing in our personal worship to God through music & praise

We are surrendering our whole life by improving our exercise and nutrition

We are honoring God with every dimension of our life by balancing His purposes in our life

1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5

Surrendering Total ________________

Just Beginning 0-5

FAIR 5-10

Getting Going 10-15

VERY GOOD 15-20

Well Developed 20-30

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Small Group Health Plan PURPOSES

POSSIBILITIES

PLANS (OUR NEXT STEP)

(Primary Questions)

(Sample Plans)

Monthly Review

CONNECTING

• Host a family barbeque

WITH GOD’S FAMILY

(Purpose of Fellowship) Hebrews 10:24-25; Ephesians 2:19 Who are we connecting deeper with relationally?

GROWING

TO BE LIKE CHRIST (Purpose of Discipleship) Colossians 1:28; Ephesians 4:15 What is our next step for spiritual growth?

DEVELOPING

• Pass around the CLASS sign-up sheet • Share our extended life stories

• Commit as a group to regular quiet times • Memorize one verse a month • Read a book on spiritual growth

• Share ministry involvement

YOUR SHAPE TO SERVE stories and plans OTHERS • Pray for everyone to find a (Purpose of Serving) Ephesians 4:11-13; 1 Corinthians 12:7; 1 Peter 3:10 Where are we serving together?

SHARING

ministry by the fall season

Serve together at Easter

• Pray for your family and friends

YOUR LIFE MISSION EVERYDAY • Share plans and progress for (Purpose of Evangelism) Matthew 28:19-20; Acts 20:24 How can we share Christ and fulfill our Life Mission in the world?

SURRENDERING

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• Pray for the African mission team

OUR LIFE AS WORSHIP

• Faithfully use the prayer/ praise list

(Purpose of Worship)

• Experiment with group worship

Romans 12:1&2; Psalm 27:6b

• Host a communion service this quarter

How can I surrender my life today?

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Small Group Health Plan PURPOSES

(Renew & Revise) 2-Month Review Date _____

PROGRESS

(Renew & Revise) 3-Month Review Date _____

PROGRESS

(Renew & Revise) 6-Month Review Date _____

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Spiritual Partners Check-In Briefly check in each week and write down your personal plans and progress for the next week (or even for the next few weeks). This could be done (before or after the meeting) on the phone, through an e-mail message, or even in person from time to time.

My Name __________________________________ Spiritual Partner’s Name: ________________________________

My Name:

Spiritual Partner’s Name:

Week 12 Week 11 Week 10 Week 9

Week 8

Week 7

Week 6

Week 5

Week 4

Week 3

Week 2 Week 1

Our Plans

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Our Progress

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Small Group G.i.f.t. Development YOUR G.I.F.T.S.

What DO You Know?

What Do Others See?

What could be Next?

Gifts(Spiritual)

Interests & Passions

Familiar Experiences

Temperament (Personality)

Strengths

(Talents)

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G.I.F.T.S. Profile Worksheet (to help discover or develop your God-given S.H.A.P.E.)

Copy one to each member in your group. Have them fill out and then share with the group affirming or adding. Then assign group roles, responsibilities and/or empower ministry outside the group based on the following profile.

1) Gifts (sPIRITUAL)  Preaching (1 Cor. 14:3)  Evangelism (Acts 8:26-40)  Discernment (I John 4:1)  Apostle (Rom. 15:20)  Teaching (Eph. 4:12-13)  Encouragement (Acts 14:22)  Wisdom (I Cor. 2:1, 6-16)  Missions (I Cor. 9:19-23, Acts 13:2-3)  Service (Acts 6:1-7, I Cor. 12:28)  Mercy (Romans 12:8)  Hospitality (I Peter 4:9-10)  Pastoring (I Peter 5:2-4)  Giving (II Cor. 8:1-7)  Intercession (Col. 1:9-12)  Music (Psalm 150)  Arts & Crafts (Exodus 31:3-11)  Healing (James 5:14-16)  Miracles (Mark 11:23-24)  Leadership (Heb. 13:7, 17)  Administration (I Cor. 14:40) Faith (Rom. 4:18-21) 

2) INTERESTS & pASSIONS  Design/Develop  Pioneer  Organize  Operate/Maintain  Serve/Help  Acquire/Possess  Excel  Perform  Improve  Repair  Lead/Be in Charge  Persevere  Follow the Rules 

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114 Prevail  3) FAMILIAR Experiences  Spiritual  Painful  Educational  Vocational 

4) tEMPERAMENT Extroverted Routine Self-controlled Cooperative

HI LOW HI q q q q q q q q q q q q

Introverted Variety Self-expressive Competitive

5) STRENGTHS  Entertaining  Recruiting  Planning  Evaluating  Managing  Researching  Artistic/Graphics  Interviewing  Counseling  Teaching  Writing/Editing  Promoting  Repairing  Feeding  Recall  Mechanical Operating  Resourceful  Counting/ Classifying  Public Relations  Welcoming  Composing  Landscaping  Arts & Crafts  Decorating  Musical

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Leadership Training Top Ten Ideas for New Facilitators

Congratulations! You have responded to the call to help shepherd Jesus’ flock. There are few other tasks in the family of God that surpass the contribution you will be making. As you prepare to lead—whether it is one session or the entire series—here are a few thoughts to keep in mind. We encourage you to read these and review them with each new discussion leader before he or she leads.

1. Remember that you are not alone. God knows everything about you, and he knew that you would be asked to lead your group. Even though you may not feel ready to lead, this is common for all good leaders. Moses, Solomon, Jeremiah, or Timothy—they all were reluctant to lead. God promises, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Whether you are leading for one evening, for several weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you serve.

2. Don’t try to do it alone. Pray right now for God to help you build a healthy leadership team. If you can enlist a co-leader to help you lead the group, you will find your experience to be much richer. This is your chance to involve as many people as you can in building a healthy group. All you have to do is call and ask people to help—you’ll be surprised at the response.

3. Just be yourself. If you won’t be you, who will? God wants to use your unique gifts and temperament.

Don’t try to do things exactly like another leader; do them in a way that fits you! Just admit it when you don’t have an answer and apologize when you make a mistake. Your group will love you for it!— and you’ll sleep better at night 4. Prepare for your meeting ahead of time. Review the session and the leader’s notes, and write down your responses to each question. Pay special attention to exercises that ask group members to do something other than engage in discussion. These exercises will help your group live what the Bible teaches, not just talk about it. Be sure you understand how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies (such as paper or pens) to your meeting.

If the exercise employs one of the items in the appendix (such as the Purpose-Driven Life Health Assessment), be sure to look over that item so you’ll know how it works. Finally, review “Read Me First” on pages 11–14 so you’ll remember the purpose of each section in the study.

5. Pray for your group members by name. Before you begin your session, go around the room in your mind and pray for each member by name. You may want to review the prayer list at least once a week.

Ask God to use your time together to touch the heart of every person uniquely. Expect God to lead you to whomever he wants you to encourage or challenge in a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead!

6. When you ask a question, be patient. Someone will eventually respond. Sometimes people need a moment or two of silence to think about the question, and if silence doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother anyone else. After someone responds, affirm the response with a simple “thanks” or “good job.” Then ask, “How about somebody else?” or “Would someone who hasn’t shared like to add anything?” Be sensitive to new people or reluctant members who aren’t ready to say, pray, or do anything. If you give them a safe setting, they will blossom over time.

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116 7. Provide transitions between questions. When guiding the discussion, always read aloud the transitional paragraphs and the questions. Ask the group if anyone would like to read the paragraph or Bible passage. Don’t call on anyone, but ask for a volunteer, and then be patient until someone begins.

Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud.

8. Break up into small groups each week, or they won’t stay. If your group has more than seven people, we strongly encourage you to have the group gather in discussion circles of three or four people during the GROWING or SURRENDERING sections of the study. With a greater opportunity to talk in a small circle, people will connect more with the study, apply more quickly what they’re learning, and ultimately get more out of it. A small circle also encourages a quiet person to participate and tends to minimize the effects of a more vocal or dominant member.

And it can help people feel more loved in your group. When you gather again at the end of the section, you can have one person summarize the highlights from each circle. Small circles are also helpful during prayer time.

People who are unaccustomed to praying aloud will feel more comfortable trying it with just two or three others. Also, prayer requests won’t take as much time, so circles will have more time to actually pray. When you gather back with the whole group, you can have one person from each circle briefly update everyone on the prayer requests. People are more willing to pray in small circles if they know that the whole group will hear all the prayer requests.

9. Rotate facilitators weekly. At the end of each meeting, ask the group who should lead the following week. Let the group help select your weekly facilitator. You may be perfectly capable of leading each time, but you will help others grow in their faith and gifts if you give them opportunities to lead. You can use the Small Group Calendar on page 69 to fill in the names of all six meeting leaders at once if you prefer.

10. One final challenge (for new or first-time leaders): Before your first opportunity to lead, look up each of the five passages listed below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help prepare yourself with a shepherd’s heart. Trust us on this one. If you do this, you will be more than ready for your first meeting.

Matthew 9:36 1 Peter 5:2-4 Psalm 23 Ezekiel 34:11–16 1 Thessalonians 2:7–8, 11–12

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Leadership Lifters (Weekly Leadership Tips) “And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.”

Psalm 78:73

David provides a model of a leader who has a heart for God, a desire to shepherd God’s people, and a willingness to develop the skills of a leader. The following is a series of practical tips for new and existing small group leaders. These principles and practices have proved to cultivate healthy, balanced groups in over a thousand examples.

1. Pay It Now or Pay It Later: Group Conflict Most leaders and groups avoid conflict, but healthy groups are willing to do what it takes to learn and grow through conflict. Much group conflict can be avoided if the leader lets the group openly discuss and decide its direction, using the Purpose-Driven Group Agreement. Healthy groups are alive. Conflict is a sign of maturity, not mistakes. Sometimes you may need to get outside counsel, but don’t be afraid.

See conflict as an opportunity to grow and always confront it so it doesn’t create a cancer that can kill the group over time (Matthew 18:15–20).

2. Don’t Leave Home without It: A Leader’s Prayer “The prayer of a righteous man [or woman] is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). From the very beginning of this study, why not commit to a simple prayer of renewal in your heart and in the hearts of your members? Take a moment right now and write a simple prayer as you begin: Father, help me _____________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 3. Lead from Weakness The apostle Paul said that God’s power was made perfect in Paul’s weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). This is clearly the opposite of what most leaders think, but it provides the most significant model of humility, authority, and spiritual power. It was Jesus’ way at the cross. So share your struggles along with your successes, confess your sins to one another along with your celebrations, and ask for prayer for yourself along with praying for others. God will be pleased, and your group will grow deeper. If you humble yourself under God’s mighty hand, he will exalt you at the proper time (Matthew 23:12).

4. What Makes Jesus Cry: A Leader’s Focus In Matthew 9:35–38, Jesus looked at the crowds following him and saw them as sheep without a shepherd. He was moved with compassion, because they were “distressed and downcast” (nasb); the NIV says they were “harassed and helpless.” The Greek text implies that he was moved to the point of tears.

Never forget that you were once one of those sheep yourself. We urge you to keep yourself and your group focused not just inwardly to each other but also outwardly to people beyond your group. Jesus said,

“Follow me ... and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:19). We assume that you and your group are following him. So how is your fishing going? As leader, you can ignite in your group Jesus’ compassion for outsiders. For his sake keep the fire burning!

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118 5. Prayer Triplets Prayer triplets can provide a rich blessing to you and many others. At the beginning or end of your group meeting, you can gather people into prayer triplets to share and pray about three non-Christian friends. This single strategy will increase your group’s evangelistic effectiveness considerably. Be sure to get an update on the plans and progress from each of the circles. You need only ten minutes at every other meeting—but do this at least once a month. At first, some of your members may feel overwhelmed at the thought of praying for non-Christians. We’ve been there! But you can be confident that over time they will be renewed in their heart for lost people and experience the blessing of giving birth to triplets.

6. Race against the Clock When your group grows in size or your members begin to feel more comfortable talking, you will inevitably feel as though you’re racing against the clock. You may know the feeling very well. The good news is that there are several simple things that can help your group stick to your agreed schedule: · The time crunch is actually a sign of relational and spiritual health, so pat yourself on the back. · Check in with the group to problem-solve, because they feel the tension as well. · You could begin your meeting a little early or ask for a later ending time. · If you split up weekly into circles of three to four people for discussion, you will double the amount of time any one person can share. · Appoint a timekeeper to keep the group on schedule. · Remind everyone to give brief answers. · Be selective in the number of questions you try to discuss. · Finally, planning the time breaks in your booklet before the group meeting begins can really keep you on track.

7. All for One and One for All: Building a Leadership Team The statement “Together Everybody Accomplishes More” (TEAM) is especially true in small groups. The Bible clearly teaches that every member is a minister. Be sure to empower the group to share weekly facilitation, as well as other responsibilities, and seek to move every player onto a team over time.

Don’t wait for people to ask, because it just won’t happen. From the outset of your group, try to get everybody involved. The best way to get people in the game is to have the group suggest who would serve best on what team and in what role. See Purpose Team Roles on pages 70–71 for several practical suggestions. You could also talk to people individually or ask for volunteers in the group, but don’t miss this opportunity to develop every group member and build a healthy and balanced group over time.

8. Purpose-Driven Groups Produce Purpose-Driven Lives: A Leader’s Goal As you undertake this new curriculum, especially if this is your first time as a leader, make sure you begin with the end in mind. You may have heard the phrase, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” It’s vital for your group members to review their spiritual health by using the Purpose-Driven Life Health Assessment and Purpose-Driven Life Health Plan (pages 72–76). You’ll do part of the health assessment in your group in session 2 and share your results with spiritual partners for support and accountability. Each member will also set one goal for thirty days. The goal will be tied to the purpose you are studying in this particular guide. We strongly encourage you to go even further and do the entire health assessment together. Then during another group session (or on their own), members can set a goal for each of the other four purposes. Pairing up with spiritual partners will offer invaluable support for that area of personal growth. Encourage partners to pray for one another in the area of their goals. Have partners gather at least three times during the series to share their progress and plans. This will give you and the group the best results. In order for people to follow through with their goals, you’ll need to lead with vision and modeling. Share your goals with the group, and update them on how the steps you’re taking have been affecting your spiritual life. If you share your progress and plans, others will follow in your footsteps.

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119 9. Discover the Power of Pairs The best resolutions get swept aside by busyness and forgetfulness, which is why it’s important for group members to have support as they pursue a spiritual goal. Have them pair up with spiritual partners in session 2, or encourage them to seek out a Christian coworker or personal mentor. You can promise that they’ll never be the same if they simply commit to supporting each other with prayer and encouragement on a weekly basis. It’s best to start with one goal in an area of greatest need. Most of the time, the area will be either evangelism or consistent time with the Father in prayer and in Scripture reading. Cultivating time with God is the place to start; if group members are already doing this, they can move on to a second and third area of growth. You just need a few victories in the beginning. Have spiritual partners check in together at the beginning or end of each group meeting. Ask them to support those check-ins with phone calls, coffee times, and E-mail messages during the week. Trust us on this one—you will see people grow like never before.

10. Don’t Lose Heart: A Leader’s Vision You are a strategic player in the heavenly realm.

Helping a few others grow in Christ could put you squarely in the sights of Satan himself. First Corinthians 15:58 (nasb) says, “Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the

Lord.” Leading a group is not always going to be easy.

Here are the keys to longevity and lasting joy as a leader:

Be sure to refuel your soul as you give of yourself to others. We recommend that you ask a person to meet with you for personal coaching and encouragement. When asked (over coffee or lunch) to support someone in leadership, nine out of ten people say, “I’d love to!” So why not ask?

Delegate responsibilities after the first meeting. Doing so will help group members grow, and it will give you a break as well.

Most important, cultivating your own walk with God puts you on the offensive against Satan and increases the joy zone for everyone in your life. Make a renewed decision right now to make this happen. Don’t give Satan a foothold in your heart; there is simply too much at stake.

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Brett Eastman

NAME

29801 Santa Margarita Pkwy.

Ste. 100

ADDRESS

949-609-8709

PHONE brett@ lifetogether.com

EMAIL

Childrens

MINISTRY

5 Kids

OTHER

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small Group Roster

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60 Days

through the New Testament

DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

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SCRIPTURE

DAY

Matthew 1 – 4 Matthew 5 – 9 Matthew 10 – 13 Matthew 14 – 18 Matthew 19 – 23 Matthew 24 – 28 Romans 1 – 4 Romans 5 – 8 Romans 9 – 11 Romans 12 – 16 I Corinthians 1 – 4 I Corinthians 5 – 8 I Corinthians 9 – 12 I Corinthians 13 – 16 Mark 1 – 4 Mark 5 – 8 Mark 9 – 12 Mark 13 – 16 II Corinthians 1 – 6 II Corinthians 7 – 13 Galatians Ephesians Philippians Colossians I Thessalonians II Thessalonians I Timothy II Timothy Luke 1 – 4 Luke 5 – 8

31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60

SCRIPTURE Luke 9—12 Luke 13—16 Luke 17—20 Luke 21—24 Acts 1—5 Acts 6—10 Acts 11—14 Acts 15—19 Acts 20– 24 Acts 25—28 Titus—Philemon Hebrews 1—4 Hebrews 5—8 Hebrews 9—13 James I Peter II peter—Jude I, II, III John John 1—4 John 5—8 John 9—11 John 12 –14 John 15—18 John 19– 21 Revelation 1—4 Revelation 5—8 Revelation 9—12 Revelation 13—15 Revelation 16—19 Revelation 20—22

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60 Days

through the Gospels

DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

SCRIPTURE

DAY

Matthew 1 – 2 Matthew 3—4 Matthew 5 Matthew 6 Matthew 7— 8 Matthew 9 Matthew 10 Matthew 11—12 Matthew 13—14 Matthew 15 Matthew 16 Matthew 17—18 Matthew 19 Matthew 20 Matthew 21—22 Matthew 23—24 Matthew 25 Matthew 26 Matthew 27—28 Mark 1—2 Mark 3 Mark 4 Mark 5—6 Mark 7 Mark 8 Mark 9—10 Mark 11—12 Mark 13 Mark 14 Mark 15—16

31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60

SCRIPTURE Luke 1—2 Luke 3—4 Luke 5 Luke 6 Luke 7—8 Luke 9—10 Luke 11 Luke 12 Luke 13—14 Luke 15—16 Luke 17 Luke 18 Luke 19—20 Luke 21—22 Luke 23 Luke 24 John 1—2 John 3 John 4 John 5—6 John 7—8 John 9 John 10—11 John 12—13 John 14 John 15 John 16—17 John 18—19 John 17—18 John 20—21

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Hosting An Open House

If you’re starting a new group, try planning an “open house” before your first formal group meeting. Even if you only have two to four core members, it’s a great way to break the ice and to consider prayerfully who else might be open to join you over the next few weeks. You can also use this kick-off meet­ing to hand out study guides, spend some time getting to know each other, discuss each person’s expectations for the group, and briefly pray for each other.

A simple meal or good desserts always make a kick-off meeting more fun. After people introduce themselves and share how they ended up being at the meeting (you can play a game to see who has the wildest story!), have everyone respond to a few icebreaker questions: “What is your favorite family vaca­tion?” or “What is one thing you love about your church/ our community?” or “What are three things about your life growing up that most people here don’t know?” See www.lifetogether.com for more icebreaker ideas.

Next, ask everyone to tell what he or she hopes to get out of the study. You might want to review the Community Group Agreement and talk about each person’s expectations and priorities.

Finally, set an open chair (maybe two) in the center of your group and explain that it represents someone who would enjoy or benefit from this group but who isn’t here yet. Ask people to pray about whom they could invite to join the group over the next few weeks. Hand out postcards (see www.lifetogether.com for examples) and have everyone write an invitation or two. Don’t worry about ending up with too many people, you can always have one dis­ cussion circle in the living room and another in the dining room after you watch the lesson.

Each group could then report prayer requests and progress at the end of the session.

You can skip this kick-off meeting if your time is limited, but you’ll experience a huge benefit if you take the time to connect with each other in this way.

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Small Group Leadership Reference Guide Personal Leadership Development The Billy Graham Christian Workers Handbook – Billy Graham* Changes that Heal – Dr. Henry Cloud* The Making of a Leader – Dr. J. Robert Clinton Spiritual Leadership – Robert K. Greenleaf The Heart of a Great Pastor – H.B. London In the Name of Jesus – Henri Nouwen Developing the Leader Within You – John C. Maxwell Developing the Leaders Around You – John C. Maxwell* Small Group Leadership Development Life Together – Dietrich Bonhoeffer* Community that is Christian – Julie Gorman Small Group Idea Book – Cindy Bunch How to Lead Small Groups – Neal F. McBride* Beyond Small Groups – Mike Slaughter Seven Tools for Building Effective Groups – Jeff Arnold Discipleship Journal’s 101 Best Small Group Ideas – Deena Davis How to have Great Small Group Meetings – Neal McBride Websites www.goshen.net — Bible study tools www.CRM.org — Christian apologetics and research www.smallgroups.com — Small group resources www.Christianity.com — Christian magazines and publishing resources *Pastors Choice

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Small Group University

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This breakthrough small group training course is the first DVD-based training system designed by Brett Eastman, the creator of the award winning Purpose-Driven TM Small Group resource Doing Lifetogether. Small Group University provides the next level in building healthy small groups that build healthy Christians over time.

Small Group University provides a proven pathway to train new and existing small group leaders in any size church at any stage of their small group ministry. Hosting Lifetogether helps anyone “create their own community� with a few of their friends and family. Coaching Lifetogether gives practical training to your experienced leaders and coaches. Building Lifetogether gives practical and proven support to pastors and small group directors in building and growing a small group ministry. Best of all, it provides pastors with everything they need to launch and lead a healthy small group ministry in their churches in less than 90 days.

Hosting Lifetogether - Creating Your Own Community This 6-session DVD and companion study guide will provide the initial or in service small group leader/host training based on the 5 purposes. This series is perfect for new hosts training either in a classroom, coaching huddle or self paced online study. The package includes six video teaching sessions on DVD based on the five purposes, personal testimonies, and inspirational stories for your leaders to study on a daily basis.

Coaching Lifetogether - Creating Healthy Leaders and Their Members The Coaching Lifetogether Training Series is the first DVD training series of its kind designed for experienced leaders and emerging small group coaches and community leaders in your church. This series will help recruit, train, and develop your leaders of leaders! This series shares proven strategies and transforming principles straight from the front lines of ministry. You can develop a group of well-trained coaches who cultivate healthy groups that produce purpose driven lives over time. You will learn timely methods to apply timeless truths of coaching your new and existing small group leaders and their small groups. The 6 lesson series comes complete on DVD and CD and includes a 150 page comprehensive training handbooks.

Building Lifetogether - Creating a Healthy Small Group Ministry at Your Church The Building Lifetogether Training Series is designed for a senior pastor, church leader, or volunteer small group champion helping to launch and lead a healthy small group ministry in your church. This 6-lesson series provides practical how-to’s for starting and sustaining your small groups. Whether you are trying to sustain the new groups you have recently begun or trying to multiply your existing small groups, Building Lifetogether will become your personal coach on how to get there. The 6 lessons come on both DVD and CD with 170-page training handbook.

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WELCOME TO THE SMALL GROUP SHOW Hosted by Brett Eastman and Steve Gladen The Small Group Show is a free resource distributed to small group ministry leaders, pastors and champions across the country. We are interviewing some of the best, the most influential, and interesting men and women in the small group movement today in a talk show format to help encourage and inform local small group workers.

The show is built on 6 T’s: Testimony: A guest shares a piece of his or her testimony as it relates to small groups, from joining a group, to becoming a leader, pastor or director in order to others on the same journey.

Training: This segment features training on a myriad of different topics related to small groups.

It will give you new ideas, wisdom and tools to more effectively start and sustain a small group ministry Together: This segment highlights small group conferences and other larger training opportunities around the country Tip of the Week: Our guests share advice on what could be a simple key to improving a small group, or small group ministry.

Tool: Our guests discuss books they have written, blogs they are reading, podcasts they listen to and other resources that will help you and your small group ministry.

Trend: We discuss what is new and next with our guests. How they see small group ministry evolving and tell you how to stay on the cutting edge.

Sign up to receive the Small Group Show at Lifetogether.com Small

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Rick Warrren Foreword FOR DOING LIFETOGETHER A Puprose Driven Group Resource

Doing Life Together is a groundbreaking study in several ways. It is the first small group curriculum built completely on the purpose-driven paradigm.

This is not just another study to be used in your church; it is a study on the church to help strengthenyour church. Many small group curricula today are quite self-focused and individualistic. They generally do not address the importance of the local church and our role in it as believers. Another unique feature of this curriculum is its balance. In every session, the five purposes of God are stressed in some way.

But the greatest reason I am excited about releasing this Doing Life Together curriculum is that I’ve seen the dramatic changes it produces in the lives of those who study it. These small group studies were not developed in some detached ivory tower or academic setting but in the day-to-day ministry of Saddleback Church, where thousands of people meet weekly in small groups that are committed to fulfilling God’s purposes. This curriculum has been tested and retested, and the results have been absolutely amazing. Lives have been changed, marriages saved, and families strengthened. And our church has grown-in the past seven years we’ve seen over 9,100 new believers baptized at Saddleback. I attribute these results to the fact that so many of our members are serious about living healthy, balanced, purpose-driven lives.

It is with great joy and expectation that I introduce this resource to you. I am so proud of our development team on this project: Brett and Dee Eastman, Todd and Denise Wendorff, and Karen LeeThorp. They have committed hundreds of hours to write, teach, develop, and refine these lessons - with much feedback along the way. This has been a labor of love, as they have shared our dream of helping you serve God’s purpose in your own generation. The church will be enriched for eternity as a result.

Get ready for a life-changing journey. God bless! - Pastor Rick Warren

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Doing Lifetogether Series Lifetogether Small Group Curriculum Series Doing Lifetogether—Purpose Driven Group Series * Student Edition of all 6 studies also available • Beginning Lifetogether (God’s Purpose for Your Life) • Connecting with God’s Family (Fellowship) • Growing to Be Like Christ (Discipleship) • Developing Your SHAPE to Serve Others (Ministry) • Sharing Your Life Mission Every Day (Evangelism) • Surrendering Your Life to God’s Pleasure (Worship)

Experiencing Christ Together * Student Edition of all 6 also available • • • • • •

Beginning in Christ Together (Life of Jesus) Connecting in Christ Together (Fellowship) Growing in Christ Together (Discipleship) Serving Like Christ Together (Ministry) Sharing Christ Together (Evangelism) Surrendering to Christ Together (Worship)

Deepening Lifetogether (8 Individual Studies) Building Character Together (6 Individual Studies)

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About the Author

Brett Eastman served as the Small Group Champion at Saddleback Church and Willow Creek Community Church for over a decade. Brett has produced and either authored or co-authored over 200 small group curriculum series including the bestselling Purpose Driven Small Group curriculum, Doing Lifetogether published

by Zondervan, which has sold over 3,000,000 copies. He also was the primary designer behind the 40 Days of Purpose Campaigns that fueled over 25,000 churches around the world. He also wrote and produced the first Purpose Driven small group series for Rick Warren that influenced the development of over 50 small group series to date.

Brett received a B.A. in Marketing from San Diego State University. He then worked in technology and training in the Silicon Valley, partnering with companies like Apple, Xerox and Novell.

He later earned his Masters of Divinity degree from the graduate school of Biola University, Talbot School of Theology and received a Management Certificate from Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University in Chicago, Illinois.

In 1989 Brett founded Lifetogether, a ministry committed to championing the small group movement around the world. Brett has produced award-winning resources for the top 100 Churches and Christian Ministries Today. Some of the publishing partners include Zondervan, Tyndale, Baker Books, Thomas Nelson, Focus on the Family, Christianity Today, Serendipity, Purpose Driven Ministries, David C. Cook, just to name a few.

Dee Eastman is the real hero in the family, who, after giving birth to Joshua and Breanna, gave birth to identical triplet girls—Meagan, Melody, and Michelle. Dee is the Director of the Daniel Plan at Saddleback Church and co-leader “The Journey” a women’s Bible Study at Saddleback Church. The Eastman’s live in Las Flores, California.

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prayer and Praise Report Briefly share your prayer requests with the large group, making notations below.

Then gather in small groups of two, three, or four to pray for each need.

PRAYER REQUEST

PRIASE REPORT

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prayer and Praise Report

PRAYER REQUEST

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PRIASE REPORT

Coaching Lifetogether is the first DVD and CD training series designed to equip your existing small group leaders and new coaches to care for their group members and leaders. Coaching Lifetogether takes training and developing leaders to the next level, serving as a natural sequel to Hosting Lifetogether. Built on the bedrock of the 5 biblical purposes, these timeless truths will help you build healthy, growing small groups and their leaders. This series shares proven strategies and transferable principles straight from the front lines of ministry.

The six session DVD’s and companion coaching handbook will provide you with a 30-day reading plan that is sure to launch and lead your new coaches and provide ongoing training for experienced leaders. This series consists of the following six 20-30 minute sessions:

Session 1: Session 2: Session 3: Session 4: Session 5: Session 6:

BUILDING MINISTER MENTOR MOTIVATE MULTIPLY MAGNIFY

30 DAYS OF COACHING

Daily Reading Plan

Your Own Small Group Community—Overview To The Needs of Your Group Leaders—Fellowship The Spiritual Gifts of Your Group Leaders—Discipleship The Spiritual Gifts of Your Leaders—Ministry The Spiritual Lives of Your Group Leaders—Evangelism Christ Together with Your Group Leaders—Worship

Small Group University is a comprehensive DVD driven small group ministry training series designed for every level of leader in any size church. The four part series can be rolled out individually or as a complete package for your church.

Brett Eastman, The President and Founder of Lifetogether served as the Small Group Champion for Saddleback Church with Rick Warren and Willow Creek Community Church with Bill Hybels.

He has consulted with and produced custom curriculum for hundreds of churches, leading publishers and bestselling authors like Max Lucado, John Ortberg, and Bruce Wilkenson.

His resources have sold over 4,000,000 copies to date.

For free sample videos and printable materials go to www.lifetogether.com