40 day challenge

40-DAY CHALLENGE BECOMING

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BY EMB RACING

DAVID ALEXANDER FIRST M E T HODIST M A NSF I ELD

L E SS

Copyright © 2015 by First Methodist Mansfield ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Published by First Methodist Mansfield No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Copyright and use of the curriculum template is retained by Brett Eastman.

Unless otherwise noted, all scripture quotes are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 and 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN 978-1-940077-77-2 Printed in the United States of America

CONTENTS WELCOME 6 USING THIS WORKBOOK (READ THIS FIRST)

8

OUTLINE FOR EACH SESSION

10

SESSION ONE: RIGHT-SIDE UP OR UPSIDE DOWN

14

SESSION TWO: THE CLASH OF TWO KINGDOMS

30

SESSION THREE: TRUSTING IN GOD’S GOODNESS

44

SESSION FOUR: DEALING WITH DESIRE

58

SESSION FIVE: ACCEPTING THAT WE ARE TEMPORARY

72

SESSION SIX: DYING TO LIVE

86

40 DAILY CHALLENGES

100

APPENDICES FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

111

SMALL GROUP AGREEMENT

114

SMALL GROUP CALENDAR

116

SPIRITUAL PARTNERS

117

MEMORY VERSE CARDS (CLIP AND REVIEW)

118

SMALL GROUP LEADERS HOSTING AN OPEN HOUSE

121

LEADING FOR THE FIRST TIME

122

LEADERSHIP TRAINING

124

PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT

126

SMALL GROUP ROSTER

128

NOTES 129

HE MUST BECOME GREATER;

I MUST BECOME LESS. JOHN 3:30 (NIV2011)

I’m so glad you are joining us for this study with your small group. This series will take us on a journey together for a season of 40 days.

There is an obvious pattern throughout scripture that highlights a 40day period as a time of testing. Moses, Elijah, Ezekiel, and Jonah all lived through 40-day trials. Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness following His baptism. It’s not surprising that the early Christians adopted this 40-day concept as a way to commemorate the death and resurrection of Jesus. This 40-day season leading up to Easter is now referred to as the season of Lent.

The earliest expressions of Lent was a time of prayer and preparation for new Christians who would experience their baptism at sunrise on Easter.

On the day that Jesus was raised to life, new Christians would celebrate their own new birth.

Here is what I want you to remember: forty is a number with biblical significance.

6

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WELCOME

F ROM DAV ID A L E X A NDER

The practice of establishing a window of time in which we intentionally dedicate ourselves to prayer and reflection is one of the earliest practices of the Christian faith.

Participating in this study is an invitation to experience Christ in an even more full way in your own life.

Our emphasis is on one singular verse of scripture that we find in the Gospel of John: “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30).

We’re going to explore what John the Baptist meant by that statement and discuss how it applies to our lives.

What we decide may take 40 days to clarify, but it will take a lifetime to live.

Let’s do it together.

Grace & Peace, Rev. David Alexander

welcome

7

USING THIS WORKBOOK TO OLS TO H EL P YOU HAV E A G R EAT S M A L L G ROU P E X PE R I E NC E !

8

40-DAY CHALLENGE

1.

Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: Sessions and 40 Daily Challenges; Appendices; and Small Group Leaders. Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will be used in the sessions themselves.

2.

If you are facilitating/leading or coleading a small group, the section Small Group Leaders will give you some hardlearned experiences of others that will encourage you and help you avoid many common obstacles to effective small group leadership.

3.

Use this workbook as a guide. If the group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the Small Group Leaders section.

4.

Enjoy your small group experience.

5.

Pray before each session—for your group members, for your time together, or wisdom and insights.

6.

Read the Outline for Each Session on the next pages so that you understand how the sessions will flow.

Using this workbook

9

OUTLINE OF EACH SESSION

A TYPICAL GROUP SESSION FOR THE 40-DAY CHALLENGE STUDY WILL INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING SECTIONS:

WEEKLY MEMORY VERSES. Each session opens with a memory verse that emphasizes an important truth from the session. This is an optional exercise, but we believe that memorizing scripture can be a vital part of filling our minds with God’s truth. We encourage you to give this important habit a try. The verses for our six sessions are also listed in the appendix.

INTRODUCTION. Each lesson opens with a brief thought that will help you prepare for the session and get you thinking about the particular subject you will explore with your group. Make it a practice to read these before the session.

COME TOGETHER. The foundation for spiritual growth is an intimate connection with God and God’s family. You build that connection by sharing your experience with a few people who really know you and who earn your trust. This is helpful preparation for being able to share what Christ has done in your life with anyone you meet—which is what a disciple is ready to do. This section includes some simple questions to get you talking—letting you share as much or as little of your story as you feel comfortable doing. Each session typically offers you two options. You can get to know your whole group by using the icebreaker question(s), or you can check in with one or two group members, your spiritual partner(s), for a deeper connection and encouragement in your spiritual journey.

10

40-DAY CHALLENGE

GROW TOGETHER. In this section, you’ll read the Bible and listen to teaching, in order to hear God’s story—and begin to see how His story aligns with your story. When the study directs you to, you will start the video and watch a short teaching segment. You will then have an opportunity to read a passage of scripture, and discuss both the teaching and the text. The focus of this time is not on accumulating information but on how you can go deeper in your life with God. We want to help you apply the insights from scripture practically and creatively, from your heart as well as your head. At the end of the day, allowing the timeless truths from God’s Word to transform our lives in Christ should be your greatest aim.

STUDY NOTES. This section provides additional commentary, background or insights on the passage you will study in the Grow Together section.

Using this workbook

11

SERVE TOGETHER. God wants you to be a part of God’s Kingdom—to weave your story into God’s story. That will mean change. It will require you to go God’s way rather than your own. This will not happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin to change our direction. This is where the Bible’s instructions to “be doers of the Word, not just hearers” (James 1:22) comes into play.

Many people skip over this aspect of the Christian life because it’s scary, relationally awkward, or simply too much work for their busy schedules. But Jesus wanted all of His disciples to know him personally, carry out His commands, and help others connect with him. This doesn’t necessarily mean preaching on street corners. It could mean welcoming newcomers, hosting a short-term group in your home, or walking through this study with a friend. In this study, you’ll have an opportunity to go beyond Bible study to biblical living.

12

40-DAY CHALLENGE

SHARE AND WORSHIP TOGETHER. This section will have a question or two that will challenge you to live out your faith by serving others, sharing your faith, and worshiping God. There will be suggestions for different ways to worship together and thank God for what God is doing among you and ways you can end the session in His presence.

DAILY CHALLENGES. Each week you will be directed to the section in the workbook that includes the 40 Daily Challenges to break down the big issues we are thinking about into smaller, practical actions/decisions. These may include some scriptures to read and reflect on between sessions. These daily challenges will provide you with a chance to slow down, consider a practical step to take each day, and reflect and pray through it. You will then have a chance to journal your experience. Use this section to seek God on your own throughout the week. This time at home should begin and end with prayer. Try not to be in a hurry. Take enough time to hear God’s direction.

Using this workbook

13

SE S SION ONE

RIGHT-SIDE UP OR UPSIDE DOWN MEMORY VERSE: “HE MUST BECOME GREATER; I MUST BECOME LESS.” JOHN 3:30

14

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WELCOME TO THIS 40-DAY CHALLENGE. It’s exciting to see what God is doing through small groups in our church. We trust this six-week journey will be a Christ-centered, God-honoring experience of greater discipleship in your life. Look for ways to encourage those around you to join you in acknowledging the greatness of Jesus and the “lessness” of ourselves. Review the 40 Daily Challenges on page 100 to find practical ways of incorporating this idea into your life.

session one

15

COME TOGETHER Open your group with prayer. Rotate this duty from week to week with those who are comfortable praying out loud.

16

15 MINS.

1.

When you hear the word Challenge, what comes to mind?

2.

Has anyone had a positive or negative experience connected with a challenge that you’d be willing to share?

3.

Whether your group is new or ongoing, it is always important to reflect on and review your values together. On pages 112– 113 there is a Small Group Agreement with the values we’ve found most useful in sustaining healthy, balanced groups.

We recommend that you choose one or two values—ones you have not previously focused on or have room to grow in—to emphasize during this study. Choose ones that will take your group to the next stage of depth and spiritual health.

a.

If your group is new, you may want to focus on welcoming newcomers or on sharing group ownership. Any group will quickly move from being the leader’s group to our group, if everyone understands the goals of the group and shares a small role.

b.

We have come to realize that healthy groups rotate leadership. This helps to develop every member’s ability to shepherd a few people in a safe environment. Even Jesus gave others the opportunity to serve alongside him (Mark 6:30–44). Look at the FAQs in the Appendix for additional information about hosting or leading the group.

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WATCH THE VIDEO TEACHING FOR THIS SESSION NOW. The videos for this series are also available online at https://vimeo.com/channels/40daychallenge.

We have provided space for notes below, so you can record any key thoughts or questions you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the scripture passage and the discussion questions in the Grow Together section, and direct discussion within the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

session one

17

GROW TOGETHER As Pastor David said, our entire 40-day challenge will revolve around a simple statement John the Baptist made about Jesus: “He must become greater; I must become less.”

In a world where “more” is almost always considered better and “less” is almost always considered worse, we’re going to have to stay on our toes to avoid jumping to certain conclusions in the way we use these words. In fact, maybe we will finally discover that “less is more” actually makes a lot of sense!

READ: JOHN 3:22-30 After this, Jesus and his disciples went out into the Judean countryside, where he spent some time with them, and baptized. Now John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim, because there was plenty of water, and people were constantly coming to be baptized. (This was before John was put in prison.)

An argument developed between some of John’s disciples and a certain Jew over the matter of ceremonial washing. They came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, that man who was with you on the other side of the Jordan—the one you testified about—well, he is baptizing, and everyone is going to him.”

To this John replied, “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.’ The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.

He must become greater; I must become less.”

18

40-DAY CHALLENGE

20 MINS.

PASTOR DAVID GAVE SOME BACKGROUND ABOUT JOHN AND THEN FOCUSED ON THE WAY HIS RESPONSE “HE MUST BECOME GREATER; I MUST BECOME LESS” REVEALS A PROFOUND SENSE OF HUMILITY AND SUBMISSION. HE THEN OFFERED THE BACKGROUND QUESTION FOR THIS SESSION: IS IT POSSIBLE THAT WE ARE LIVING OUR LIVES UPSIDE DOWN? What are some of the characteristics of an upside-down life?

In the Bible passage we just read, what examples of humility and submission do you see in John? How are these two qualities apparent in a person?

session one

19

In what other ways do you think John was living a right-side up kind of life?

How do you think someone would recognize they were living an upside-down life?

Pastor David quoted C.S. Lewis’ statement, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” What was Lewis’ point?

How do you see this in John the Baptist?

In launching the 40-day challenge, Pastor David reaffirmed a favorite statement: A faith that has not been tested is a faith that cannot be trusted. Why do you think it will be important to remember these words in the weeks to come?

20

40-DAY CHALLENGE

MAYBE WE WILL FINALLY DISCOVER THAT “LESS IS MORE” ACTUALLY MAKES A LOT OF SENSE!

session one

21

STUDY NOTES This section provides additional commentary, background, or insights to use as you study the Bible passage in the Grow Together section.

AFTER THIS. The episode with John the Baptist is frequently lost in this chapter because the “After this” refers to the first 19 verses containing the story of Nicodemus and his beginning as a follower of Jesus.

A PERSON CAN RECEIVE ONLY WHAT IS GIVEN THEM FROM HEAVEN. John was fully aware of his unique and specific role, given

by God for that moment in time. He was living out his responsibilities without asking for more or ever assuming he deserved more.

“THAT JOY IS MINE, AND IT IS NOW COMPLETE.” John was telling his disciples it had been a great privilege to serve as Christ’s herald, and it was now a privilege to watch him emerge for his own ministry. He realized his job was over.

22

40-DAY CHALLENGE

session one

23

SERVE TOGETHER One significant aspect of 40-day experience is the corporate aspect of living through these weeks alongside others. The life of faith is a shared experience rather than an individualized one. We will serve one another throughout these weeks to heighten our awareness of the weight of the cross and the opportunities we have to bear one another’s burdens. Here are some starting places:

24

15 MINS.

1.

Pastor David pointed out that both John and Jesus faced a similar challenge at the height of their ministry when things seemed about to change radically and the followers didn’t like the idea. When something is working, why is it so hard to change or even consider changes?

2.

It might be noted that every time a new person joins a small group, the group changes, and it might even feel like the group loses something.

How would a small group practice John’s statement: “He must become greater; I must become less” in the way we welcome others or even split up to create more groups?

40-DAY CHALLENGE

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CIRCLES OF LIFE DIAGRAM BELOW AND WRITE THE NAMES OF TWO OR THREE PEOPLE YOU KNOW WHO MAY BENEFIT FROM A DEEPER RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. COMMIT TO PRAYING FOR GOD’S GUIDANCE AND AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE WITH EACH OF THEM.

session one

25

Developing our ability to serve God according to the leading of the Holy Spirit takes time and persistence in getting to know God. We must take time in prayer, in God’s word, and in meditation to let God speak to us daily. As you read through these, which of the following next steps are you willing to take for the next few weeks?

PRAYER. Commit to personal prayer and daily connection with God. You may find it helpful to write your prayers in a journal.

DAILY CHALLENGES. The daily challenges provided for the 40 days of this study are an opportunity for you to experience, “He must become greater, and I must become less.” Some are more challenging than others, but try as many as you can. As you engage in these, write down your insights and experiences.

MEDITATION. Try meditation as a way of internalizing God’s word more deeply. Copy a portion of scripture on a card and tape it somewhere in your line of sight, such as your car’s dashboard or the kitchen table. Think about it when you sit at stop lights, or while you’re eating a meal. Reflect on what God is saying to you through these words.

26

40-DAY CHALLENGE

PRAY CONTINUALLY

1 THESSALONIANS 5:17 (NIV2011)

session one

27

SHARE AND WORSHIP TOGETHER Group members may be hesitant, reluctant, or excited about this 40-day challenge during this time in their busy lives. Pull them back together for this final segment.

28

1.

Allow everyone to answer this question: “How can we pray for you this week?� Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 124.

2.

What kind of worship fits your group? Spend a few minutes worshiping God together. Here are two ideas:

a.

Have someone use their musical gifts to lead the group in a worship song focused on the theme of discipleship.

b.

Try singing a cappella, using a worship CD, or have someone accompany your singing with a musical instrument.

3.

Read a passage of scripture together, making it a time of praise and worship as the words remind you of all God has done for you. Choose a psalm or other favorite verse.

4.

Encourage your group members to incorporate the daily challenges in their lives this week. These will offer reinforcement of the principles we are learning, and develop or strengthen your habit of time alone with God throughout the week.

40-DAY CHALLENGE

10 MINS.

DAILY CHALLENGES Each day, read one of the 40 Daily Challenges that begin on page 100 and give prayerful consideration to how you might take that small step in your life. Take some specific action. Then record your thoughts, insights, or prayer in the Reflect section below the daily challenge description.

session one

29

SE S SION T WO

THE CLASH OF TWO KINGDOMS MEMORY VERSE: “WHOEVER WANTS TO BE MY DISCIPLE MUST DENY THEMSELVES AND TAKE UP THEIR CROSS DAILY AND FOLLOW ME. FOR WHOEVER WANTS TO SAVE THEIR LIFE WILL LOSE IT, BUT WHOEVER LOSES THEIR LIFE FOR ME WILL SAVE IT.” LUKE 9:23-24 (NIV2011)

30

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WELCOME BACK TO THIS WEEK’S STUDY IN THE 40-DAY CHALLENGE. We’re going to be doing some thinking about kingdoms in this session. The fact that we don’t live in a monarchy makes it a little difficult for us to immediately relate to the term. We know Jesus talked a lot about the Kingdom of God, but we may not have a very clear idea about where that is and what our role is in it. We need to add “kingdom” to our thinking and living to better understand Jesus’ teachings. Here’s one way to describe what God has done for us: “For he has rescued us from the dominion [kingdom] of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves” (Colossians 1:13).

session two

31

COME TOGETHER Open your group with prayer.

32

15 MINS.

1.

Before we hear from Pastor David, let’s take a few minutes to think about kingdoms. Have everyone name kingdoms they know of, past or present. What would you say it means to live in a kingdom like England?

2.

Based on history you’ve studied, novels you’ve read, or movies you’ve seen, what would be one reason life in a kingdom might be better than life in a democracy?

3.

Most people want to live a healthy, balanced life. A regular medical check-up is a good way to measure health and spot potential problems. In the same way, a spiritual check-up is vital to your spiritual well-being. Pair up with another person (men with men/women with women) and briefly share one personal challenge you are currently experiencing. Make a note on the Spiritual Partner’s Check-In on page 115. You will touch base with this person each week.

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WATCH THE VIDEO TEACHING FOR THIS SESSION NOW. The videos for this series are also available online at https://vimeo.com/channels/40daychallenge.

We have provided space for notes below, so you can record any key thoughts or questions you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the scripture passage and the discussion questions in the Grow Together section, and direct discussion within the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

session two

33

GROW TOGETHER So, as Pastor David made it clear, it’s easy to equate the kingdom of God with heaven rather than thinking about how God’s kingdom might be present here and now. We are going to delve a little more into the main scripture for the lesson.

READ: MATTHEW 6:9-13 AND 6:31-34 “This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’”

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

34

40-DAY CHALLENGE

20 MINS.

In his teaching, Pastor David said, “I can remember in my early readings of the Gospels making the assumption that in each of these instances, Jesus must have been talking about heaven, that future place we believe we get to experience someday when our earthly existence comes to a close.”

How have you pictured the “kingdom of God” to this point?

When you hear the definition: “The Kingdom of God is the place where God’s will is done” how does it change the way you pray the Lord’s Prayer, especially the line about the kingdom?

session two

35

Note also the second passage, “Seek the kingdom” implies we can find examples of it as we move through life. How do we know if we’ve spotted the kingdom in action?

In each Bible passage above, “kingdom” is paired with something else: “God’s will” and “God’s righteousness.” How do “will” and “righteousness” help us understand the character of God’s kingdom?

36

40-DAY CHALLENGE

BUT SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND ALL THESE THINGS WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU AS WELL. MATTHEW 6:33

session two

37

STUDY NOTES This section provides additional commentary, background, or insights to use as you study the Bible passage in the Grow Together section.

THIS, THEN IS HOW YOU SHOULD PRAY. This prayer is part of the extended passage from Matthew 5:1 to 7:27, known as the Sermon on the Mount. It may be three or four pages of red type in your Bible, indicating Jesus’ words.

It’s worth remembering that Jesus wasn’t establishing a rote prayer to be mindlessly repeated; He was showing a pattern and framework for what should be included in prayer.

OUR FATHER. Among the implications of this opening, besides the intimacy with God that it can allow, is the realization that our heavenly father is also the King. We are praying as members of the royal family with access to the highest authority.

YOUR KINGDOM COME. As Pastor David indicated, we often pray this, hoping heaven will arrive rather than asking for an immediate state of affairs where God’s will is done today. And the place where this might be most immediately true is in our own lives.

BUT SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS. In the broader context of Jesus’ teaching about worry, He is saying that an effective way to avoid the distractions and disappointments of the world is to first and always look for where God is working. Look for where God’s will is being done. This is sometimes in the most unexpected places.

38

40-DAY CHALLENGE

session two

39

SERVE TOGETHER Again, it’s important to remember that the body of Christ and the kingdom of God is a shared experience rather than just an individualized one.

We serve one another so that others benefit, but we do too. An authentic citizen of the kingdom makes his or her own contribution to the life of the kingdom even as she or he is relying on the rest of the kingdom to sustain them.

15 MINS.

One of the keys to healthy application of our learning is to realize that when God teaches us something, living out that lesson will almost always involve other people. Note how the following questions move you in that direction.

1.

40

How can praying for the kingdom to come to our present reality affect our daily lives?

40-DAY CHALLENGE

2.

Have you noticed a recent example of a situation or relationship that was kingdom oriented; one in which God’s will was clearly being done?

3.

How are some of the 40 Daily Challenges opportunities to see the kingdom come more authentically in our lives or seek it out as we move through the world?

4.

What are some obstacles in wanting God’s will to be done or in being able to see the kingdom in action around us? What makes it hard for you to keep a kingdom mindset?

session two

41

SHARE AND WORSHIP TOGETHER Group members may be thoughtful or eager to get on with kingdom living for this next week. But pull them back together for this final segment.

42

1.

Allow everyone to answer this question: “How can we pray for you this week?� Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 124.

2.

What kind of worship fits your group? Spend a few minutes worshiping God together. Here are two ideas:

a.

Have someone use their musical gifts to lead the group in a worship song focused on the theme of discipleship.

b.

Try singing a cappella, using a worship CD, or have someone accompany your singing with a musical instrument.

3.

Read a passage of scripture together, making it a time of praise and worship as the words remind you of all God has done for you. Choose a psalm or other favorite verse.

4.

Encourage your group members to incorporate the daily challenges in their daily lives this week. These will offer reinforcement of the principles we are learning, and develop or strengthen your habit of time alone with God throughout the week.

5.

Ask a volunteer to close the meeting in prayer.

40-DAY CHALLENGE

10 MINS.

DAILY CHALLENGES Each day, read one of the 40 Daily Challenges that begin on page 100 and give prayerful consideration to how you might take that small step in your life. Take some specific action. Then record your thoughts, insights, or prayer in the Reflect section below the daily challenge description.

session two

43

SE S SION T HR EE

TRUSTING IN GOD’S GOODNESS MEMORY VERSE (REPRISE): “HE MUST BECOME GREATER; I MUST BECOME LESS.” JOHN 3:30 (NIV2011)

44

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WELCOME BACK TO OUR 40-DAY CHALLENGE SERIES. Last week we got a major dose of the kingdom of God! Hopefully it helped us realize how much is at stake during these days, seeking a healthier view of ourselves as Christ-followers. We’re using a repeat memory verse this week to emphasize the theme of these forty days.

The “He” in “He must become greater” is Jesus who is King of kings. He is Lord of the kingdom we are seeking and praying will come.

One of the reasons John could humble himself and accept the role of being less was because he understood what we want to grasp more firmly in this session—the goodness of God. Sometimes our reluctance to trust God with certain aspects of our lives boils down to our uncertainty about God’s goodness. But the sobering fact of the matter is that we won’t trust God until we realize God is good, and always has our best interests at heart.

session three

45

COME TOGETHER Open your group with prayer. Ask someone who hasn’t prayed in the group yet.

46

15 MINS.

1.

Now that we’re two weeks into the daily challenges, it might be good to share with each other how it’s going. Since we’re in this 40-day challenge together, let’s share a challenge we took on and how it has been working out.

2.

What have you discovered in the past two weeks about upsidedown living and seeking the kingdom of God out there in the world?

3.

Take a few minutes to share with your spiritual partner. If your partner is absent or if you are new to the group, join with another pair or someone who does not yet have a partner. If you have not established your spiritual partnership yet, do it now. (Refer to the Session Two, Come Together section for help.)

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WATCH THE VIDEO TEACHING FOR THIS SESSION NOW. The videos for this series are also available online at https://vimeo.com/channels/40daychallenge.

We have provided space for notes below, so you can record any key thoughts or questions you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the scripture passage and the discussion questions in the Grow Together section, and direct discussion within the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

session three

47

GROW TOGETHER Pastor David began by sharing an experience that looked like a terrible ordeal and in fact wasn’t easy, but turned out to be a lasting lesson about the goodness of God. This goodness transcends even the most difficult situations and experiences we might go through.

20 MINS.

Let’s look closer at the passage of scripture Pastor David shared to illustrate that life is going to demand we clarify whether or not we really believe that God is good.

READ: MATTHEW 14:22-33 (NIV2011) Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

48

40-DAY CHALLENGE

Before Jesus showed up walking on the waves, how would you describe conditions in the boat?

If there were twelve guys in the boat and only Peter jumped at the chance to walk on water, what do you suppose he was thinking at that point that the others weren’t?

How did Peter’s view of Jesus change from the moment he left the boat until they got back in?

session three

49

In explaining this transition, Pastor David said, “In that singular moment, Peter knew with every fiber of his being exactly who Jesus was - a friend that Peter could trust with his entire life. I want you to hear this last part carefully.

Remember last week we talked about this clash between two kingdoms and the idea that if the kingdom of God is the place where God’s will is done, then His kingdom may also be the place where our will must be surrendered.” What are some areas where your will may need to be surrendered?

In what ways did Peter and perhaps the other disciples learn a little bit about becoming less so that Christ would be seen even more clearly as greater?

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

“LORD, IF IT’S YOU,” PETER REPLIED, “TELL ME TO COME TO YOU ON THE WATER.” MATTHEW 14:28

session three

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STUDY NOTES This section provides additional commentary, background, or insights to use as you study the Bible passage in the Grow Together section.

BUFFETED BY THE WAVES. Only about half of the disciples were experienced fishermen.

The rest were landlubbers. But Galilee had a proven reputation as dangerous water. It’s hard to know who was more scared, the non-sailing disciples, or the fishermen who knew they might be in big trouble.

WHEN HE SAW THE WIND. See John 3:8 where Jesus describes the Holy Spirit like a wind which we can’t see but whose effects are apparent in the moving leaves. Peter was distracted by the waves and lost sight of why he was walking on the water in the first place.

“YOU OF LITTLE FAITH,” HE SAID, “WHY DID YOU DOUBT?” Jesus didn’t ask this question to find out information He didn’t know; He asked it to provoke a reflection on what causes us to slip into doubt—letting ourselves be distracted by the immediate appearance of powerful opposition (like rogue waves) rather than the far greater truth of God’s goodness.

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

session three

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SERVE TOGETHER When you started this 40-day challenge you may have assumed this would be a solitary and maybe lonely experience. And certainly many of the daily challenges are actions or choices you must make on your own. But you’re not alone. The Bible doesn’t see us succeeding or sinning apart from everyone else. What we do affects others even when it isn’t immediately apparent. The health and vitality of each of our souls contributes to the vitality of the whole body of Christ, and immediately to those closest to us. Let’s talk about how we can encourage one another to persevere and be patient with those of us who are struggling with this whole idea of becoming less so that Christ can become greater.

1.

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15 MINS.

How did you personally respond to Pastor David’s statement: “Have you been fully persuaded of the goodness of God? Have you put your whole trust in God’s grace and love for you?”

40-DAY CHALLENGE

2.

He followed that up with another question we must all consider: “Do you know - as Peter did - that your life is safe and secure when you place it in God’s hands?” And whether you nodded ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to that question, what are some ways you have actually practiced (or struggled to practice) that knowledge about the goodness of God?

3.

Why does understanding God’s greatness and goodness put us in a better place to be OK with being less?

session three

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SHARE AND WORSHIP TOGETHER

10 MINS.

Pull them back together for this final segment in which we focus outward toward our neighbors and upward towards our God.

1.

2.

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In Session One we asked you to write some names in the Circles of Life diagram. Who did you identify as the people in your life who need to meet Jesus? Go back to the Circles of Life diagram on page 25 to help you think of the various people you come in contact with on a regular basis who might benefit from a deeper life with God. Consider the following ideas for action and make a plan to follow through on one of them this week.

a.

This is a wonderful time to welcome a few friends into your group.

Which of the people you listed could you invite? It’s possible that you may need to help your friend overcome obstacles to coming to a place where he or she can encounter Jesus. Does your friend need a ride to the group? Help with child care?

b.

Consider inviting a friend to attend a weekend service with you and possibly plan to enjoy a meal together afterward. This can be a great opportunity to talk with someone about your faith in Jesus.

c.

Is there someone who may not be ready to participate in your group, but who would still benefit from you connecting with them? Would you be willing to have lunch or coffee with that person, catch up on life, and share something you’ve learned from this study? Jesus doesn’t call all of us to lead small groups, but He does call every disciple to spiritually multiply his or her life over time.

Allow everyone to answer this question: “How can we pray for you this week?” Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 124.

40-DAY CHALLENGE

3.

What kind of worship fits your group? Spend a few minutes worshiping God together. Here are two ideas:

a.

Have someone use their musical gifts to lead the group in a worship song focused on the theme of discipleship.

b.

Try singing a cappella, using a worship CD, or have someone accompany your singing with a musical instrument.

4.

Read a passage of scripture together, making it a time of praise and worship as the words remind you of all God has done for you. Choose a psalm or other favorite verse.

5.

Encourage your group members to incorporate the daily challenges in their daily lives this week. These will offer reinforcement of the principles we are learning, and develop or strengthen your habit of time alone with God throughout the week.

6.

Ask a volunteer to close the meeting in prayer.

DAILY CHALLENGES Each day, read one of the 40 Daily Challenges that begin on page 100 and give prayerful consideration to how you might take that small step in your life. Take some specific action. Then record your thoughts, insights, or prayer in the Reflect section below the daily challenge description.

session three

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SE S SION FOU R

DEALING WITH DESIRE MEMORY VERSE: “SO I SAY, WALK BY THE SPIRIT, AND YOU WILL NOT GRATIFY THE DESIRES OF THE FLESH.” GALATIANS 5:16 (NIV2011)

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

WELCOME BACK TO THE 40-DAY CHALLENGE. We have passed the halfway point in our study and hopefully you are experiencing a new level of awareness. We’ve been at this long enough to have some high and low points. By now you’ve probably run up against that part of yourself that has no interest in becoming less; it relishes getting more, doing more, and being more! Like the disciples, we are fully capable of thinking, “I wonder if I’m the greatest at being less.” There’s a part of us that knows we’re our own worst enemy. This is the session where we get serious about our inability to become who we were designed to be without God’s help. How do we walk the Christian walk when our desires are hurdles blocking our way?

session four

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COME TOGETHER Open your group with prayer. Make it a point to thank God for what God is doing in your group.

60

15 MINS.

1.

This session’s memory verse (Galatians 5:16) is one that should be put into practice every day. Read it aloud as a group.

2.

Let’s explore more about what it means to “walk by the Spirit.”

To walk by the spirit also means living by the spirit. What are some other common things we “live by”? What should it look like if we try to live our lives by those things?

3.

Take a few moments to check in with your spiritual partner(s), or with another partner if yours is absent. Share something God taught you during your time with God or the daily challenges this past week. Be sure to write down your notes on page 127.

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WATCH THE VIDEO TEACHING FOR THIS SESSION NOW. The videos for this series are also available online at https://vimeo.com/channels/40daychallenge.

We have provided space for notes below, so you can record any key thoughts or questions you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the scripture passage and the discussion questions in the Grow Together section, and direct discussion within the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

session four

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GROW TOGETHER Pastor David used three significant passages from the New Testament in his teaching for this session: Philippians 2:1-8; Romans 7:18-21, and Galatians 5:16-24. Each of these passages provides evidence for the importance of becoming less and the process of getting there.

READ: GALATIANS 5:16-24 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

20 MINS.

Paul tells us in Philippians 2:5, “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”

How did Jesus himself set the pattern of humility for us?

As Pastor David pointed out, knowing a goal is not quite the same as getting there.

How does Paul’s statement in Romans 7:21 provide a reality check? “So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.”

Scan the passage from Paul to the Galatians again. How do the three phrases “walk by the Spirit” (v.16), “led by the Spirit” (v.18), and “fruit of the Spirit” (v.22) work together?

session four

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Based on Galatians 5:1624, how would you describe the two sides in the conflict between the Spirit and the flesh? What are clues that one side or the other is winning?

“Sin—acts of the flesh—leads to death. Sin has the power to suck the life out of you.” How is this true in your life? How would you explain this truth to someone else?

As his closing application Pastor David said, “This is not a battle of the will. This is a battle of the spirit and as you begin to live more in tune with the Spirit - this awesome power that the scriptures say is the same power that brought Christ back to life - when that power gets released in your life, those unhealthy desires do not stand a chance. We don’t produce the fruit of the Spirit; God’s spirit in us does that!”

In what ways does this speak hope into your life?

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

THOSE WHO BELONG TO CHRIST JESUS HAVE CRUCIFIED THE FLESH WITH ITS PASSIONS AND DESIRES. GALATIANS 5:24

session four

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STUDY NOTES This section provides additional commentary, background, or insights to use as you study the Bible passage in the Grow Together section.

SPIRIT. Paul is talking specifically about God’s Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity, who takes up residence in the life of a Christ-follower.

FLESH. This word represents the desires in us that are mixed up because of sin. Verse 24 presents a vivid picture of what has to happen with that in us that is flesh (see below).

ACTS OF THE FLESH. Paul lists a sample fifteen acts with the open ended note, “and the like.” Each one of these is a misused or abused good desire given to us by God. For example “sexual immorality” is the pollution and distortion of God’s gift of sex. “Idolatry” takes our inner need to worship and twists it into making gods of things.

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT. Paul lists nine of these side effects of the Spirit’s presence.

“Forbearance” is another word for patience. All of these are qualities without borders; we never get to the place where we can’t use more of any one of these fruit.

BELONG TO CHRIST JESUS. The closest parallel to this connection is the relationship of marriage. Marriage originates at a point of commitment and exchange of promises, followed by a lifetime of daily living out that commitment.

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session four

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SERVE TOGETHER This side of eternity there won’t be any days that we don’t experience the reality of living in the tension between flesh and Spirit. Every day we are called to choose. Every single day. That process will always be easier if we are surrounded by others who are daily choosing Christ as well.

1.

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15 MINS.

Pastor David made this statement about the struggle we all face: “Trying to fight this battle against the flesh alone is like getting into the ring with a giant pro wrestler. You don’t stand a chance, but here is the good news. This is a tag team event. Help is available and there is no power in this world that can defeat the Spirit - your partner that is waiting for you to tag into this great battle.” Are you in the battle alone or are you allowing the Spirit to fight with and for you?

40-DAY CHALLENGE

2.

Would anyone like to share the point in your life when you know you chose to side with Christ? Who are the people in your life that made that decision possible?

3.

As far as other parts of life, how have your relationships been impacted by your involvement in this 40-day challenge? For example, share how you have done with relating to or inviting the people you listed on the Circles of Life to church or your small group.

session four

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SHARE AND WORSHIP TOGETHER The sharing of stories of personal change and spiritual commitment take us to the heart of a small group impact. Here we laugh with those who laugh and weep with those who weep.

The best joys are shared ones. Pull them back together for this final segment.

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1.

Allow everyone to answer this question: “How can we pray for you this week?� Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 124.

2.

What kind of worship fits your group? Spend a few minutes worshiping God together. Here are two ideas:

a.

Have someone use their musical gifts to lead the group in a worship song focused on the theme of discipleship.

b.

Try singing a cappella, using a worship CD, or have someone accompany your singing with a musical instrument.

3.

Read a passage of scripture together, making it a time of praise and worship as the words remind you of all God has done for you. Choose a psalm or other favorite verse.

4.

Encourage your group members to incorporate the daily challenges in their daily lives this week. These will offer reinforcement of the principles we are learning, and develop or strengthen your habit of time alone with God throughout the week.

5.

Ask a volunteer to close the meeting in prayer.

40-DAY CHALLENGE

10 MINS.

DAILY CHALLENGES Each day, read one of the 40 Daily Challenges that begin on page 100 and give prayerful consideration to how you might take that small step in your life. Take some specific action. Then record your thoughts, insights, or prayer in the Reflect section below the daily challenge description.

session four

71

SE S SION F I V E

ACCEPTING THAT WE ARE TEMPORARY MEMORY VERSE: “TEACH US TO NUMBER OUR DAYS, THAT WE MAY GAIN A HEART OF WISDOM.” PSALM 90:12 (NIV2011)

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

WELCOME BACK TO THIS WEEK’S INSTALLMENT OF 40-DAY CHALLENGE. In this session, our theme is the dwindling amount of time each one of us has. Last week we talked about the lifelong battle with desire; this week we get to think about the fact that the end of the fight may come sooner than we expect.

Someone has said that failure to live with the end in mind often results in a failure to live. We want to be more intentional as we seek to become less so that Christ can be seen as greater. One of Jesus’ great statements for our encouragement is found in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

session five

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COME TOGETHER Open your group with prayer.

74

15 MINS.

1.

Let’s have a check-in here. How did the last week of daily challenges go for you? Any unusual events or happenings to report?

2.

Now as a way of shifting gears into what Pastor David has for us today, what was the most unusual or meaningful funeral you’ve ever attended and why was it that way for you?

3.

Check in with your spiritual partner, or with another partner if yours is absent. Talk about any challenges you are currently facing in reaching the goals you have set throughout this study. Tell your spiritual partner how he or she has helped you follow through with each step. Be sure to write down progress on page 115.

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WATCH THE VIDEO TEACHING FOR THIS SESSION NOW. The videos for this series are also available online at https://vimeo.com/channels/40daychallenge.

We have provided space for notes below, so you can record any key thoughts or questions you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the scripture passage and the discussion questions in the Grow Together section, and direct discussion within the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

session five

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GROW TOGETHER It is hard to have a “together” experience as one person. It is also hard to be “with” a huge crowd.

That’s the power of small groups. It’s a setting where we can open up without feeling like we’re exposing ourselves to the whole world. Hopefully you have been discovering a new sense of freedom in sharing your thoughts and experiences from week to week in this small group. As difficult as it is to talk about our mortality and the end of life, we’ve got good reasons to leap into that discussion if we’re going to keep learning to be less.

20 MINS.

READ: PSALM 39:1-8 I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth while in the presence of the wicked.”

So I remained utterly silent, not even saying anything good. But my anguish increased; my heart grew hot within me. While I meditated, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue: “Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure.

“Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth without knowing whose it will finally be.

“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.

Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools.

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

At the end of his teaching, Pastor David asked each of us to think about our life’s end and what you would want a stranger to understand about you and how you chose to live out your days. Take a moment to jot down your response.

(2-3 minutes)

So, let’s come clean. What are some of the thoughts that went through your mind as Pastor David began to talk about his history with funerals? Anything you hadn’t realized about that unavoidable aspect of a pastor’s life?

Verse 4 says, “Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.” What is King David asking the Lord to do for him?

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During his teaching, Pastor David said, “The acceptance that our lives are in fact temporary not only leads to wisdom, it also helps keep us focused on the kind of life that is in line with this vision we have been talking about the last five weeks. A life where ‘He becomes greater and we become less.’” What are some “lessening” outcomes in a person’s life who has come to terms with their temporary status on the planet?

How does the audience change for King David between verses 1-3 and verses 4-8? What’s happening inside David in those first three verses? In what different ways does he describe the brevity of life in verses 4-6?

In what ways do verses 7-8 summarize what ought to be our underlying attitude toward God and God’s role in our lives?

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

SHOW ME, LORD, MY LIFE’S END AND THE NUMBER OF MY DAYS; LET ME KNOW HOW FLEETING MY LIFE IS. PSALM 39:4

session five

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STUDY NOTES This section provides additional commentary, background, or insights to use as you study the Bible passage in the Grow Together section.

I SAID. David was involved in self-talk about his life situation. He was monitoring his thought patterns and trying to design his own daily challenge to speak more carefully among others.

UTTERLY SILENT. There’s a time to be quiet and a time to speak. David discovered that by shutting up completely, he was shutting himself off from others and things that needed to be said.

ANGUISH INCREASED…HEART GREW HOT…THE FIRE BURNED. The king had a growing and troubling realization that life was too short for silence. But breaking silence involved speaking to God about what was troubling him.

SHOW ME. David wasn’t expecting a “flash forward” to his death or a number he could post on his mirror. He was asking God to show him the reality of the brevity of his own life, not as a concept but a deeply personal acknowledgement.

SAVE ME. The life of a person who has accepted their temporary status before God is marked by hope and a reliance of God for salvation. That person realizes there is not enough time, energy, or means to make themselves right with God and rescue themselves from transgressions; instead they have cast themselves in faith on God’s grace and mercy as we must all do.

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

session five

81

SERVE TOGETHER The whole experience of living through this 40day challenge together is another confirmation that the body of Christ is a shared experience rather than an overly individualized one. At both levels (individually and with others) we have been working through daily challenges each week to understand the lessons and practice the habit of becoming less. It doesn’t appear in the Psalm we’ve studied this time that David had much of a regular support group. Clearly he was frustrated by many of those around him.

1.

82

15 MINS.

Look again at the things you jotted down a few minutes ago that you would want a stranger to know about your life.

What are the items on that list you are willing to share with your group?

40-DAY CHALLENGE

2.

If there was one verse of the Bible you would want your loved ones to connect with your life, what would it be? Why? (If you don’t have that kind of “life-verse” perhaps we could brainstorm one for you as a start or simply make some suggestions).

3.

As a way of including our broader experience of the body of Christ, who have you known along the way that really lived with an acceptance of their own temporary status? How did that acceptance manifest itself in their lives?

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SHARE AND WORSHIP TOGETHER In this final part of the session we want to continue to explore ways of worship among ourselves. Let God guide your attention to God by allowing each other to suggest songs, silence, a certain kind of prayer, reflection and ways to say “Thank You” to God and one another for this journey together. The best joys are shared ones. Pull them back together for this final segment.

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1.

Allow everyone to answer this question: “How can we pray for you this week?” Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 124.

2.

What are some things we could do together right now in the spirit and truth of worship that would acknowledge our fleeting lives and God’s everlasting presence among us in a special way? [Give some silence for people to listen to the Spirit’s leading here.]

3.

Our next session is the last in this study. It may be a good idea before you end this meeting to talk a little about your plans for that session and beyond. Will this group continue to meet and what will be the focus of your time together?

40-DAY CHALLENGE

10 MINS.

DAILY CHALLENGES Each day, read one of the 40 Daily Challenges that begin on page 100 and give prayerful consideration to how you might take that small step in your life. Take some specific action. Then record your thoughts, insights, or prayer in the Reflect section below the daily challenge description.

session five

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SE S SION SI X

DYING TO LIVE MEMORY VERSE: “VERY TRULY I TELL YOU, UNLESS A KERNEL OF WHEAT FALLS TO THE GROUND AND DIES, IT REMAINS ONLY A SINGLE SEED. BUT IF IT DIES, IT PRODUCES MANY SEEDS.” JOHN 12:24 (NIV2011)

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

WELCOME BACK TO THE FINAL SESSION OF THIS 40-DAY CHALLENGE. One common point the four Gospels share is that Jesus’ life led to sacrifice. No one has ever had to live with the end in mind like He did. That’s not the end of the story, though. Resurrection puts a radically different spin on dying and sacrifice. We begin this session by reminding ourselves that with Jesus Christ, every sacrifice is made with resurrection in mind. Jesus said, “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25 (NIV2011) Hopefully you have been challenged and encouraged by your fellow travelers as you pursue the full life. These 40 days have been a short leg in a longer journey. The truth lies in this, “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— these are the things God has prepared for those who love him. (1 Corinthians 2:9 (NIV 2011) Enjoy this final time together and make plans for the next leg of the journey.

session six

87

COME TOGETHER Open your group with prayer.

88

15 MINS.

1.

When you think about travel or a journey, what’s the most fun for you and why?

2.

How has this actually been a 40-day challenge for you? What did you find the most challenging? How has that made you stronger?

3.

Take time in this final session to connect with your spiritual partner. What has God been showing you through these sessions about learning to be less so Christ can be greater? Check in with each other about the progress you have made in your spiritual growth during this study. Make plans about whether you will continue in your mentoring relationship outside your group.

40-DAY CHALLENGE

WATCH THE VIDEO TEACHING FOR THIS SESSION NOW. The videos for this series are also available online at https://vimeo.com/channels/40daychallenge.

We have provided space for notes below, so you can record any key thoughts or questions you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the scripture passage and the discussion questions in the Grow Together section, and direct discussion within the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

session six

89

GROW TOGETHER Watching the video reminds us that we have come a long way in six weeks. We started out trying to grasp the idea that we could be better by learning to be less. This week’s exercise is about facing our mortality. It is meant to set us up for thinking about the way we might need to die each day.

READ: JOHN 12:23-33 Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’?

No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”

Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and will glorify it again.” The crowd that was there and heard it said it had thundered; others said an angel had spoken to him.

Jesus said, “This voice was for your benefit, not mine. Now is the time for judgment on this world; now the prince of this world will be driven out. And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” He said this to show the kind of death he was going to die.

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

20 MINS.

In this passage, how is Jesus accepting the fact that He must become less in order for His true objective to be accomplished?

What does Jesus say about himself (vs. 23, 26-28, 32 and what does He say that applies to all of us (vs 24-26, 30, 32)?

Using your own words, how would you express the points Jesus is making in verses 25-26? Consider the following words: “loves,” “hates,” “follow,” and “be.”

session six

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Pastor David pointed out that no one wanted Jesus to die (not even him), but Christ willingly laid down His life for us. The act which brought about our redemption from our sins and our full reconciliation with God, also points to one of the great paradoxes that is at the heart of the Christian faith. It is in our dying that we begin to really live. What are some practical illustrations of the way this works out in life?

In explaining the principle of dying in order to live, Pastor David referred to Galatians 5:24, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Then he added, “The place where we allow ourselves, our passions, our plans to die is the same place where God’s spirit begins to come alive.” How did you understand his last statement?

How does a passion or a plan die?

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

Pastor David mentioned Jesus’ prayer in Matthew 26 in which He asked to have the cup withheld as an example of Jesus, the human, being repelled by death. How does John 12:27 express another part of Jesus’ sentiment and resolution?

What comes to your mind when you read the phrase from Jesus, “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth” (John 12:32)? How does this help you relate to Jesus?

session six

93

STUDY NOTES This section provides additional commentary, background, or insights to use as you study the Bible passage in the Grow Together section.

HOUR. Jesus was continuously and acutely aware of what was ahead for him. He often talked about the “hour” as the appropriate time for the next step in His mission. But the ultimate hour of His death and resurrection was coming.

GLORIFIED. John bore witness that the disciples repeatedly saw Christ’s glory (John 1:14) in glimpses as He moved through His ministry, but the resurrection involved Jesus taking up His full glory again since He had made himself nothing in order to take on humanity (Philippians 2:7-8).

LOVES THEIR LIFE…HATES THEIR LIFE. In context, loving here implies holding on to something in an unhealthy way and hating means realizing the limitations of life even at its best. This is not hating because we wish it was better.

A VOICE CAME FROM HEAVEN. On occasion, God the Father made himself audible within history, particularly to honor the Son.

WHEN I AM LIFTED UP FROM THE EARTH. Jesus endured the cross on behalf of all other humans. His death is the point to which we must come in order to die to ourselves and receive eternal life.

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40-DAY CHALLENGE

session six

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SERVE TOGETHER When we depend on one another, sacrifices will be made. Schedules will be adjusted, priorities will shift, and a willingness to cooperate with Christ in the lives of others will grow. Some things about us will become less—and rightly so, the quality of our life together might be measured by the number of us who are willing to sacrifice in small and large ways for the benefit of all. When we find ways to be generous with each other, bonds develop that are the true sign of “one spirit.”

15 MINS.

In this last application time, think together not only about the immediate practical aspects of this lesson, but also how it might make a difference for you a year or decade from now.

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1.

Pastor David concluded his teaching by explaining that living ‘life to the full,’ where Jesus becomes greater and we become less is really as simple as this: It’s learning to die so that we can learn to really live. How have you already experienced that truth in your life?

2.

What is an area in your life where you have seen this multiplying effect in the way that others have “died to themselves” on your behalf or in the way you have done that for others?

40-DAY CHALLENGE

3.

Pastor David said of his own experience in learning to be less, “When I recognized my willingness to die, I also got a glimpse of what it means to truly live. I knew in the moment there were things much bigger than me.” Missionary martyr Jim Elliot expressed this truth in his well-known statement, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose.” What does Elliot mean by that statement?

4.

As long as we insist on holding on to our little kernel of life with its dying passions and desires we are dead; but something amazing begins to happen when we willingly lay down that life for the sake of whatever God has for us. How have you personally confronted this challenge to let go of that “little kernel of life” in order to take hold of Christ?

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SHARE AND WORSHIP TOGETHER

10 MINS.

Come together for this final moment in this last session of the series.

1.

Allow everyone to answer this question one last time: “How can we pray for you this week and into the future?” Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 124.

2.

What kind of worship has fit your group during this study?

Maybe you’ve discovered a favorite worship chorus or hymn.

This is the time to enjoy what’s really impacted the group in praise and worship together. Spend a few minutes worshiping God together. Here are several previous ideas:

3.

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a.

Have an extended prayer time, emphasizing thanksgiving for what the group has been through and individuals expressing gratitude for what God has taught or given them through the group.

b.

Have someone use their musical gifts to lead the group in a worship song. Try singing a cappella, using a worship CD, or have someone accompany your singing with a musical instrument.

c.

Read a passage of scripture together, making it a time of praise and worship as the words remind you of all God has done for you. Choose a psalm or other favorite verse.

Before you close in prayer, make sure there is some sense of what is next. Either plan to meet next week to simply celebrate this experience, announce what the next study will be and when you will meet, or present a range of other opportunities. Be sure to thank everyone for sharing in the journey.

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DAILY CHALLENGES Each day, read one of the 40 Daily Challenges that begin on page 100 and give prayerful consideration to how you might take that small step in your life. Take some specific action. Then record your thoughts, insights, or prayer in the Reflect section below the daily challenge description.

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40 DAILY CHALLENGES FOR T HE SE 40 DAY S

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PREFACE: As we journey through the next 40 days, we invite you to try each one of these daily challenges. Pick one each day and do your best to live it out for 24 hours. Each day you will be asked to make some sort of small sacrifice of your time, your money, or your efforts. Some of these challenges are more difficult than others. I encourage you to do each one, even if you have to adapt it to meet your circumstances or rearrange the order. If a challenge seems too difficult, I encourage you to especially try that one. The idea is sacrificial living. It means our pocketbooks, our bodies, and our emotions may all be stretched to new limits.

In order for Jesus to become greater and you to become less, you will be challenged to dig deep. But as you are challenged, your soul will be strengthened and your faith will be deepened. Pray before you begin these 40 days. Ask God to give you strength and perseverance.

Pray each day before you look at the daily challenge, so that God will guide you as you read and plan for the day.

Consider looking each evening at the next day’s task so you can better prepare.

If one or more of these activities resonates with you, consider making it a daily, weekly or monthly habit.

Remember, this is about a way of life that continually points to Jesus, as we saw in the example of John the Baptist. May God bless you on this journey!

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1.

Pray the Lord’s prayer, slowly, morning, noon and night.

REFLECT:

2.

Think of the least-acknowledged, unpopular, marginalized person you know. Reach out to them today with a smile, hug, or note of kindness. Pray for them all day.

REFLECT:

3.

Give up TV, surfing the web, or social media today. Use the extra time to talk and listen to God. REFLECT:

4.

Identify a culture of someone you know that is different from yours. Ask the person about their culture. Be genuinely interested. Research the culture and find at least two positive attributes of that way of life. Pray for that person, and try to refrain from thinking of them as the “other” or as different from you.

REFLECT:

5.

Memorize these words from Jesus in Mark 9:35, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” Put it on a notecard or paper and carry it with you all day. Get it out every free moment and commit it to memory.

REFLECT:

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6.

Give up luxuries (expensive coffee, manicure, eating out, unnecessary purchases, etc) today. Give the saved money to a charity or someone in need.

REFLECT:

7.

Reflect on what it means to be humble today. Look up definitions and scriptures. Utilize CS Lewis’ definition, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” Pray for humility.

REFLECT:

8.

Recite this scripture from John 3:30, “He must become greater, I must become less.” Repeat it 2 more times slowly, thinking about the meaning. Do this every time you sit down today.

REFLECT:

9.

Prepare or purchase a meal or treat for someone who is ill, alone, sad, or struggling. Let them know you will bring it in advance, and then visit with them before leaving. Perhaps pray with them as well.

REFLECT:

10.

Instead of listening to the radio on your drive to work, drive quietly, praying for people as you pass them.

REFLECT:

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11.

Eat only fresh, in-season, locally produced foods today. This may take some research and effort, but do the best you can. Thank God for the farmers and ranchers. Pray that they may use healthy, humane, holistic practices.

REFLECT:

12.

Read Psalm 139. Focus on the final two verses, 23-24: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Pray these verses several times then sit quietly waiting for God to reveal anything you may need to work on, resolve, or seek forgiveness for.

REFLECT:

13.

Offer at least 10 compliments today to 10 different people.

REFLECT:

14.

Fast from anger, frustration or aggressive speech today. Each time you find yourself feeling these emotions, sit quietly for a moment and pray for peace. Ask God to show you where your soul needs work.

REFLECT:

15.

Spend 10 minutes at the beginning of your day and the end of your day writing down things you are grateful for. Thank God for these things.

REFLECT:

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16.

Memorize: Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.�

When you find yourself thinking about your own needs, concerns, etc. today, repeat this verse.

REFLECT:

17.

Give up one meal or regular snack today (if health allows). Rely on God to give you strength. During that meal time, pray for those in our community, country and world who do not have enough food to eat today. Ask God to show you how you can make a difference.

REFLECT:

18.

Take time today to intentionally share with a loved one what you appreciate most about them. Do this through email, text, handwritten note, phone call or face-to face if possible.

REFLECT:

19.

Today spend time in prayer for each of your co-workers. Pray that they would achieve to the best of their abilities and that they might find joy in their work. Ask God to show you ways to be a loving co-worker.

REFLECT:

20.

Look for an opportunity today to bless a stranger. Share an unexpected smile, hold open a door, give extra tip to your waitress, etc.

REFLECT:

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21.

Write a note of gratitude or encouragement to someone today.

Consider sharing your gratitude publicly on social media or at dinner.

REFLECT:

22.

Read Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Pray about this one verse throughout today.

REFLECT:

23.

Today when you see someone who seems different from you, someone you might normally avoid, pray for that person, smile, and show them kindness.

REFLECT:

24.

Take a Prayer Walk around your neighborhood. Pray for each family as you pass their home. Ask God to bless them with health, love, and joy. Ask God to show you how to connect to each family so that you may love your neighbors well.

REFLECT:

25.

Memorize: Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Put it on a notecard or paper and carry it with you all day. Get it out every free moment and commit it to memory.

REFLECT:

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26.

Identify someone you would like to know better. Invite them to lunch or dinner later this week. Pray about how God might work in this new relationship, and be open to God’s promptings.

REFLECT:

27.

Reach out to a neighbor you haven’t met. Take them a baked treat, or stop by to introduce yourself.

REFLECT:

28.

Drive to the nearest hospital and sit in the lobby. Pray for each floor, each room, or each family. Pray for the doctors and nurses to have clarity of mind and ability. Pray for the chaplains to bring the presence of God to their patients. Pray for the administrators to offer compassion and resources. Pray for the volunteers to bring joy, compassion, and peace to their patients.

REFLECT:

29.

Fill at least one box with items from your home to donate to a mission center, Salvation Army, or similar organization.

REFLECT:

30.

Plan 15 minutes to sit outside today. If it is too cold or warm, sit near a window with an open view. Take mental note of the nature you are able to observe. Reflect with God about the wonder of creation.

REFLECT:

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31.

Handwrite a letter to someone who made a significant impact in your life. Maybe it’s a coach, a teacher, a grandparent or mentor.

Express your gratitude for the way they helped or guided you.

Pray for that person through the day.

REFLECT:

32.

Memorize: Matthew 25:40, “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” Put it on a notecard or paper and carry it with you all day. Get it out every free moment and commit it to memory.

REFLECT:

33.

Add up every luxury you have in your home (TV’s, electronics, expensive furnishings, landscaping, extravagant foods, internet access, etc.). Anonymously give 50 cents or $1 for every luxury item to your church or favorite charity.

REFLECT:

34.

Refrain from gossip, put-downs, sarcasm, or negative language today. If you slip up, put a predetermined amount (a quarter, 50 cents, $1) in a jar to give to someone in need.

REFLECT:

35.

Spend a few minutes searching the Internet or news sources to identify injustices (slavery, poverty, starvation, orphans, racism, or others) occurring throughout the world. Select one injustice, learn about the causes of the injustice, and pray for those who are affected by it.

REFLECT:

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36.

Bring an extra lunch to work or pay for someone’s lunch today.

Perhaps pay for the person behind you in the drive-through or counter line.

REFLECT:

37.

Be generous with your time today. Spend time listening to someone. Offer to help someone carrying groceries or boxes. Initiate impromptu conversations with co-workers about their life.

Spend time reading or playing with your kids or grandkids. Go to lunch with an old friend.

REFLECT:

38.

Commit to spend more time listening than talking today. Count to 3 before adding to a conversation to ensure the other person is done.

REFLECT:

39.

Memorize: Romans 8:38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Put it on a notecard or paper and carry it with you all day. Get it out every free moment and commit it to memory.

REFLECT:

40.

Admit a mistake today, out loud. Apologize if necessary or share a previous mistake and what you learned from it. Be vulnerable.

REFLECT:

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APPENDICES

GR E AT R E SOU RCE S T O HEL P M A K E YOU R SM A L L GROU P E X PER IENCE E V EN BE T T ER! 

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS WHAT DO WE DO ON THE FIRST NIGHT OF OUR GROUP? Like all fun things in life—have a party! A “get to know you” coffee, dinner, or dessert is a great way to launch a new study. You may want to review the Group Agreement (pages 112–113) and share the names of a few friends you can invite to join you. But most importantly, have fun before your study time begins.

WHERE DO WE FIND NEW MEMBERS FOR OUR GROUP? This can be troubling, especially for new groups that have only a few people or for existing groups that lose a few people along the way. We encourage you to pray with your group and then brainstorm a list of people from work, church, your neighborhood, your children’s school, family, the gym, and so forth. Then have each group member invite several of the people on his or her list.

No matter how you find members, it is vital that you stay on the lookout for new people to join your group. All groups tend to go through healthy attrition—the result of moves, releasing new leaders, ministry opportunities, and so forth—and if the group gets too small, it could be at risk of shutting down. If you and your group stay open, you will be amazed at the people God sends your way. The next person just might become a friend for life. You never know!

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HOW LONG WILL THIS GROUP MEET? It’s totally up to the group—once you come to the end of this 6-week study. Most groups meet weekly for at least their first 6 weeks, but every other week can work as well. We strongly recommend that the group meet for the first six months on a weekly basis if at all possible. This allows for continuity, and if people miss a meeting they aren’t gone for a whole month.

At the end of this study, each group member may decide if he or she wants to continue on for another 6-week study. Some groups launch relationships for years to come, and others are stepping-stones into another group experience. Either way, enjoy the journey.

CAN WE DO THIS STUDY ON OUR OWN? Absolutely! This may sound crazy, but one of the best ways to do this study is not with a full house but with a few friends. You may choose to gather with another couple who would enjoy some relational time (perhaps going to the movies or having a quiet dinner) and then walking through this study. Jesus will be with you even if there are only two of you (Matthew 18:20).

WHAT IF THIS GROUP IS NOT WORKING FOR US? That is OK! This could be the result of a personality conflict, life stage difference, geographical distance, level of spiritual maturity, or any number of things. Relax. Pray for God’s direction, and at the end of this 6-week study, decide whether to continue with this group or find another. You do not typically buy the first car you look at or marry the first person you date, and the same goes with a group. However, don’t bail out before the 6 weeks are up—God might have something to teach you. Also, don’t run from conflict or prejudge people before you have given them a chance. God is still working in your life, too!

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WHO IS THE LEADER? Most groups have an official leader. But ideally, the group will mature and members will rotate the leadership of meetings. We have discovered that healthy groups rotate hosts/leaders and homes on a regular basis. This model ensures that all members grow, give their unique contribution, and develop their gifts. This study guide and the Holy Spirit can keep things on track even when you rotate leaders. Christ has promised to be in your midst as you gather. Ultimately, God is your leader each step of the way.

HOW DO WE HANDLE THE CHILDCARE NEEDS IN OUR GROUP? Very carefully. Seriously, this can be a sensitive issue. We suggest that you empower the group to openly brainstorm solutions. You may try one option that works for a while and then adjust over time. Our favorite approach is for adults to meet in the living room or dining room and to share the cost of a babysitter (or two) who can watch the kids in a different part of the house. This way, parents don’t have to be away from their children all evening when their children are too young to be left at home. A second option is to use one home for the kids and a second home (close by or a phone call away) for the adults. A third idea is to rotate the responsibility of providing a lesson or care for the children either in the same home or in another home nearby. This can be an incredible blessing for kids. Finally, the most common solution is to decide that you need to have a night to invest in your spiritual lives individually or as a couple and to make your own arrangements for childcare. No matter what decision the group makes, the best approach is to dialogue openly about both the problem and the solution.

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SMALL GROUP AGREEMENT OUR PURPOSE To provide an engaging environment where participants experience authentic community and spiritual growth.

OUR VALUES ●● Group Attendance To give priority to the group meeting. We will call or email if we will be late or absent. (Completing the Group Calendar on page 114 will minimize this issue.) ●● Safe Environment To help create a safe place where people can be heard and feel loved.

(Please, no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes.) ●● Respect Differences To be gentle and gracious to people with different spiritual maturity, personal opinions, temperaments, or “imperfections” in fellow group members. We are all works in progress. ●● Confidentiality To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and within the group, and to avoid sharing improper information about those outside the group. ●● Encouragement for Growth To be not just takers but givers of life. We want to spiritually multiply our life by serving others with our God-given gifts. ●● Shared Ownership To remember that every member is a minister and to ensure that each participant will share a small team role or responsibility over time. ●● Rotating Hosts/Leaders To encourage different people to rotate the responsibility of facilitating each meeting. (See the Group Calendar on page 114.)

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OUR EXPECTATIONS ●● Refreshments/mealtimes

●● Childcare

●● When we will meet (day of week)

●● Where we will meet (place)

●● We will begin at (time)

and end at

●● We will do our best to have some or all of us attend a worship service together. Our primary worship service time will be

●● Date of this agreement

●● Date we will review this agreement again

●● Who (other than the leader) will review this agreement at the end of this study

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GROUP CALENDAR Planning and calendaring can help ensure the greatest participation at every meeting. At the end of each meeting, review this calendar. Be sure to include a regular rotation of host homes and leaders, and do not forget birthdays, socials, church events, holidays, and mission/ministry projects.

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SPIRITUAL PARTNERS’ CHECK-IN Briefly check in each week and write down your personal plans and progress targets for the next week (or even for the next few weeks). This could be done before or after the meeting, on the phone, through an e-mail message, or even in person from time to time.2

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MEMORY VERSE CARDS SESSION ONE • JOHN 3:30 (NIV2011) He must become greater; I must become less.

SESSION TWO • LUKE 9:23-24 (NIV2011) Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.

SESSION THREE • JOHN 3:30 (NIV2011) He must become greater; I must become less.

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SESSION FOUR • GALATIANS 5:16 (NIV2011) So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

SESSION FIVE • PSALM 90:12 (NIV2011) Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

SESSION SIX • JOHN 12:24 (NIV2011) Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

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SMALL GROUP LEADERS K E Y R E SOU RCE S T O HEL P YOU R L E A DER SHIP E X PER IENCE BE T HE BE ST I T C A N BE .

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HOSTING AN OPEN HOUSE If you’re starting a new group, try planning an “open house” before your first formal group meeting. Even if you have only two to four core members, it is a great way to break the ice and to consider prayerfully who else might be open to joining you over the next few weeks. You can also use this kick-off meeting to hand out study guides, spend some time getting to know each other, discuss each person’s expectations for the group and briefly pray for each other.

A simple meal or good desserts always make a kick-off meeting more fun.

After people introduce themselves and share how they ended up being at the meeting (you can play a game to see who has the wildest story!), have everyone respond to a few icebreaker questions: ●● What is your favorite family vacation? ●● What is one thing you love about your church/our community? ●● What are three things about your life growing up that most people here don’t know?

Next, ask everyone to tell what he or she hopes to get out of the study.

You might want to review the Small Group Agreement and talk about each person’s expectations and priorities.

Finally, set an open chair (maybe two) in the center of your group and explain that it represents someone who would enjoy or benefit from this group but who isn’t here yet. Ask people to pray about inviting someone to join the group over the next few weeks. Hand out postcards and have everyone write an invitation or two. Do not worry about ending up with too many people; you can always have one discussion circle in the living room and another in the dining room after you watch the lesson. Each group could then report prayer requests and progress at the end of the session.

You can skip this kick-off meeting if your time is limited, but you’ll experience a huge benefit if you take the time to connect with each other in this way.

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LEADING FOR THE FIRST TIME

TEN COMMON LEADERSHIP EXPERIENCES.

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1.

Sweaty palms are a healthy sign. The Bible says God is gracious to the humble. Remember who is in control; and soften your heart to the Holy Spirit. Those who are soft in heart (and sweaty palmed) are those whom God is sure to speak through.

2.

Seek support. Ask your leader, co-leader, or close friend to pray for you and prepare with you before the session. Walking through the study will help you anticipate potentially difficult questions and discussion topics.

3.

Bring your uniqueness to the study. Lean into who you are and how God wants you to uniquely lead the study.

4.

Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Go through the session several times. If you are using the video, listen to the teaching segment. Consider writing in a journal or fasting for a day to prepare yourself for what God wants to do. Do not wait until the last minute to prepare.

5.

Ask for feedback so you can grow. Perhaps in an email or on cards handed out at the study, have everyone write down three things you did well and one thing you could improve on. Do not get defensive. Instead, show an openness to learn and grow.

6.

Prayerfully consider launching a new group. This does not need to happen overnight, but God’s heart is for this to take place over time.

Not all Christians are called to be leaders or teachers, but we are all called to be “shepherds” of a few.

7.

Share with your group what God is doing in your heart. God is searching for those whose hearts are fully His. Share your trials and victories. We promise that people will relate.

8.

Prayerfully consider whom you would like to pass the baton to next week. It’s only fair. God is ready for the next member of your group to go on the faith journey you just traveled. Make it fun, and expect God to do the rest.

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LEADERSHIP TRAINING 101

TOP TEN IDEAS FOR NEW LEADERS

Congratulations! You have responded to the call to help shepherd Jesus’ flock. There are few other tasks in the family of God that surpass the contribution you will be making. As you prepare to lead, whether it is one session or the entire series, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind. We encourage you to read these and review them with each new discussion leader before he or she leads.

1.

Remember that you are not alone. God knows everything about you, and He knew that you would be asked to lead your group. Remember that it is common for all good leaders to feel that they are not ready to lead.

Moses, Solomon, Jeremiah and Timothy were all reluctant to lead. God promises, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Whether you are leading for one evening, for several weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you serve.

2.

Do not try to do it alone. Pray right now for God to help you build a healthy leadership team. If you can enlist a co-leader to help you lead the group, you will find your experience to be much richer. This is your chance to involve as many people as you can in building a healthy group.

All you have to do is call and ask people to help. You will probably be surprised at the response.

3.

Just be yourself. If you won’t be you, who will? God wants you to use your unique gifts and temperament. Don’t try to do things exactly like another leader; do them in a way that fits you! Just admit it when you do not have an answer, and apologize when you make a mistake. Your group will love you for it, and you’ll sleep better at night!

4.

Prepare for your meeting ahead of time. Review the session and the leader’s notes, and write down your responses to each question. Pay special attention to exercises that ask group members to do something other than engage in discussion.

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These exercises will help your group live what the Bible teaches, not just talk about it. Be sure you understand how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies (such as paper and pens) to your meeting.

If the exercise employs one of the items in the appendix, be sure to look over that item so you will know how it works. Finally, review “Outline for Each Session” so you will remember the purpose of each section in the study.

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5.

Pray for your group members by name. Before you begin your session, go around the room in your mind and pray for each member by name.

You may want to review the prayer list at least once a week. Ask God to use your time together to touch the heart of every person uniquely.

Expect God to lead you to whomever He wants you to encourage or challenge in a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead!

6.

When you ask a question, be patient. Someone will eventually respond.

Sometimes people need a moment or two of silence to think about the question. Keep in mind, if silence doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother anyone else. After someone responds, affirm the response with a simple “thanks” or “good job.” Then ask, “How about somebody else?” or “Would someone who hasn’t shared like to add anything?” Be sensitive to new people or reluctant members who aren’t ready to say, pray or do anything. If you give them a safe setting, they will blossom over time.

7.

Provide transitions between questions. When guiding the discussion, always read aloud the transitional paragraphs and the questions. Ask the group if anyone would like to read the paragraph or Bible passage.

Don’t call on anyone, but ask for a volunteer, and then be patient until someone begins. Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud.

8.

Break up into small groups from time to time for deeper discussion. If your group has more than seven people, we strongly encourage you to have the group gather sometimes in discussion circles of three or four people during the Grow Together or SERVE TOGETHER sections of the study. With a greater opportunity to talk in a small circle, people will connect more with the study, apply more quickly what they’re learning and ultimately get more out of it. A small circle also encourages a quiet person to participate and tends to minimize the effects of a more vocal or dominant member. It can also help people feel more loved in your

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group. When you gather again at the end of the section, you can have one person summarize the highlights from each circle. Small circles are also helpful during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying aloud will feel more comfortable trying it with just two or three others. Also, prayer requests won’t take as much time, so circles will have more time to actually pray. When you gather back with the whole group, you can have one person from each circle briefly update everyone on the prayer requests. People are more willing to pray in small circles if they know that the whole group will hear all the prayer requests.

9.

Rotate facilitators weekly. At the end of each meeting, ask the group who should lead the following week. Let the group help select your weekly facilitator. You may be perfectly capable of leading each time, but you will help others grow in their faith and gifts if you give them opportunities to lead. You can use the Small Group Calendar to fill in the names of all meeting leaders at once if you prefer.

10. One final challenge (for new or first time leaders): Before your first

opportunity to lead, look up each of the five passages listed below.

Read each one as a devotional exercise to help equip yourself with a shepherd’s heart. Trust us on this one. If you do this, you will be more than ready for your first meeting.

MATTHEW 9:36 1 PETER 5:2-4 PSALM 23 EZEKIEL 34:11-16 1 THESSALONIANS 2:7-8, 11-12

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SESSION 6

SESSION 5

SESSION 4

SESSION 3

SESSION 2

SESSION 1

PRAYER REQUESTS

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PRAISE REPORTS

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NAME

PHONE

EMAIL

SMALL GROUP ROSTER

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NOTES

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