Navigating Social Media and Smartphones with Preteens

A Parent’s Guide

Today’s preteens are digital natives, growing up with technology embedded in almost every aspect of their day. For parents, this creates a new challenge: How do you balance your child’s well-being with room to explore, connect, and grow in a connected world?

Start the Conversation Early

Before your child ever downloads their first app, talk about what it means to be a responsible digital citizen. Set expectations around privacy, kindness, screen time, and what’s appropriate to post or share. Kids may not realize how permanent the internet is or how quickly content can spread.

Tip: Use real-life examples to guide the conversation naturally.

Set Clear (and Evolving) Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t about punishment; they’re about protecting your child’s time, attention, and self-worth. Decide what platforms they’re allowed to use and for how long each day. As they grow and mature, revisit these boundaries together. Encourage balance: time outside, face-to-face friendships, and hobbies away from screens are just as important.

Consider: A family tech contract outlining screen-free zones (like the dinner table or bedrooms) and consequences for misuse.

You don’t need to become a TikTok influencer or Snapchat expert, but having a basic understanding of the platforms your child wants to use will go a long way. Look into privacy settings, how messaging works, and what kind of content is common. Some apps have “disappearing” features that make parental monitoring harder.

Tip: Follow or friend your child online (with their knowledge) and explore their apps together. It opens the door to communication and shows you’re engaged, not just policing.

Kids mirror what they see. If you’re constantly scrolling, checking emails at the dinner table, or posting every moment, they notice. Model mindful social media habits: take breaks, unplug regularly, and talk openly about why certain content makes you feel good, or not so good.

Social media can boost creativity and connection, but it can also fuel anxiety, FOMO, and unhealthy comparisons. Help your preteen understand that what they see online is often curated and not always real life. Regularly check in about how certain platforms or posts make them feel.

The best parenting tool isn’t a control app; it’s trust. Let your child know they can come to you with anything. Lead with support and not punishment. As technology continues to evolve, so will the challenges. Just stay present, ask questions, and walk the journey together.

Bark

Offers robust screen time management, location tracking, app blocking, and detailed reports of online activity.

Best for: All-in-one monitoring with strong controls

02

Monitors texts, emails, YouTube, and 30+ apps for signs of cyberbullying, depression, online predators, and more. Sends alerts, not transcripts—so kids still get some privacy.

Best for: Social media and mental health alerts

Helps manage and monitor online activity, block inappropriate content, and track search terms.

Best for: General web supervision

Allows parents to set daily screen time limits, block or allow apps, and schedule screen-free time (like during school or dinner).

Best for: Families with younger preteens

Free and easy-to-use, lets parents manage app downloads, view activity, set screen limits, and track device location.

Best for: Overall monitoring