‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry’ is an iconic line from which movie?

Super hero in training...

I’m not at all convinced that the government needs to have some way of people proving that they are immunised against COVID. I know that there are plenty of industries that require their workers be immunised. I know there are also plenty of businesses who are expecting that customers or clients will be immunised to access their business. Hence the government having apps created where people’s proof of immunisation can be stored and shared as needed.

But I don’t think it’s actually necessary. All the people who’ve been immunised seem pretty proud of being immunised. They want to tell you all about it. “Yeah I’ve had my third jab. It didn’t hurt. I care about old people and people in our community that are immuno-compromised. Yeah I’ve had my booster. I loved it.”

If they’re not telling you about it, then they’re posting it on their social media. Pictures of themselves with inspirational quotes encouraging others to do the right thing.

And I’m saying they, but I wasn’t immune to this, pardon the pun. I’m not a huge poster on social media but felt compelled to put this post onto Twitter immediately after having my COVID booster shot.

“Just got boosted. I can feel the juice coursing through my veins. My super COVID fighting abilities are clearly kicking in. I am fighting the urge to grab the fronts of my shirt and rip it off. I can’t guarantee I won’t run through a wall at some stage today. I feel amazing.” I didn’t need some Medicare government app. I was going to let the world know I was immunised, and that I thought it had given me superpowers.

Likewise people who aren’t vaccinated are pretty keen to tell you about it. In fact they’re likely to be chanting about not being vaccinated, while marching down a street carrying placards and talking about how the government have been abducted and replaced by aliens who want to poison us and eat our flesh. I’m pretty confident you won’t find an anti-vaxxer who will try to convince you that they’re vaccinated. They want you to know that you’re a sheep and you don’t realise you’ve been injected with unborn foetuses. No need for an app.

Going back to this idea that I might have developed superpowers since I got vaccinated, I’ve discovered that I now have a catchphrase. Since I’ve identified my catchphrase, I’ve also realised how much catchphrases are a part of my family. I’ve written previously about my father’s catchphrase. It went, “Keep your feet on the mat,” and was uttered every time I ever got in a car with him. Every. Single. Time.

My mother actually has two catchphrases. One was, “Put that bloody thing down!” which was yelled in an aggressive manner every time my father pointed a camera or video camera her way. The second one was, “Are you able to come and bail me out?” and she didn’t say it in the figurative way of can you help me with a problem, but in the way of, I’m in jail, could you bail me out?

But back to my catchphrase. I’ve found myself repeatedly saying the phrase, “Stop touching that.” In our COVID infested world I spend every second that I’m out of my house with my children trying to convince them that everything around them is potentially going to infect and kill them and they should not touch anything. I’m sure that in twenty years they’re going to be telling funny stories about their father’s two year (or three; please not four of five) paranoia about catching a life-threatening illness. For them it will be part of the good old days.

Interestingly my little son Lebron also seems to have developed a catchphrase, as if he thinks he’s my sidekick. I say, “Stop touching that,” and he responds bravely with, “I was just looking.” That boy’s fingers seem to have supervision sensors in their tips. And he is constantly using them for looking. Amazing. I obviously follow up with my lesser known catchphrase, “Look with your eyes, not your fingers.”

As if all those superhero catchphrases aren’t enough, my eldest son Shaquille has also developed his own catchphrase recently, thankfully not COVID related. It comes with a very clever lead in each time, before delivering the big finisher.

Shaquille is a twelve year old and has reached that age where he thinks he needs a mobile phone. He’s got no-one to call. He doesn’t go out by himself. His parents are reliable and drop him places and then pick him up at the appropriate time. There is absolutely no need for a phone. When I discuss why he needs a phone, he responds with playing games. Quite obviously this has not convinced me of the need to purchase one for him.

Anyway his catchphrase emerges like this. Something comes up in the course of normal conversation. “What’s the weather today? I’ll check my phone…wait a minute. I don’t have one.” Or, “How old is Shaquille O’Neal? I’ll check my phone…wait a minute. I don’t have one.” I think he thinks we’ll get sick of hearing him say, “I’ll check my phone…wait a minute. I don’t have one,” and buy a phone, but so far it’s having exactly the opposite effect. I find it highly entertaining and will be keeping him without a phone as long as possible so I can continue to enjoy it.

If you think you have superpowers, or a superhero catchphrase, email me at robbietansel@gmail.com