M ENTAL H E ALTH SP EC I A L
“You Alright Mate?” By Sam Thomas, of Different Hats. Mental Health Special
How often have you been asked “Are
you alright, mate?” and how often have you automatically
replied, “Yeah, I’m fine” even when the truth is far from it?
For most men, this has become a
default response — a shield we use to protect ourselves from vulnerability.
The reality is that, sometimes, we’re not fine at all. We’re struggling,
overwhelmed, and yet we find it so hard to say those words out loud,
even to the people we trust the most. I know this first-hand because I’ve been there myself. For years, I hid
behind a smile, afraid that showing my true feelings would mean losing the
positive, upbeat image I’d built. But
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through my own battles with mental
health and countless conversations on my podcast, I’ve realised something
profound: it’s okay not to be okay. Life has its dark moments, and pretending otherwise only deepens the struggle. It’s in those moments of vulnerability that we need to reach out and ask
for help. Recently, on World Mental
Health Day, I shared photos of myself at different times — pictures that
show me beaming, looking like I’ve
got it all together. But behind those
smiles, I was often hiding, pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t. I was reminded of this during my
experience at Talk 24, where I faced the darkest chapter of my life — a
time when I didn’t want to be here anymore. I remembered those
moments at events, smiling for the
camera while secretly feeling lost and broken inside, too afraid to show my pain for fear of appearing weak.
But here’s the truth I’ve come to
embrace, captured so beautifully by
Charlie Mackesy in The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse: “Asking for
help isn’t giving up,” said the horse. “It’s refusing to give up.”
Now, when someone in my circle
asks, “You alright, mate?” I’ve learned to answer honestly: “Not really, I’m struggling.” Because being open
about our struggles is the first step
to breaking the cycle of silence that surrounds men’s mental health.
Despite our progress, stigma and
outdated narratives still dominate