NOT JUST A STATISTIC

Family shares pain of addiction and joy of recovery

Sadly, Shirley Futrell is in the majority.

Like most Americans, her life has been affected by substance abuse. According to a 2023 Axios poll, two-thirds of Americans have a personal or family connection to addiction.

“I had a brother who was always into drugs, in and out of jail,” the Murray woman said, “but I was too big a chicken to ever try anything myself.”

Shirley, a 68-year-old retired hospital worker, steered clear of the ill effects of addiction until the father of her three young sons suffered drinking problems, leading to their divorce.

When those little boys became teenagers, Shirley once again suffered the all-too-familiar impact of substance abuse.

“When the boys got older,” she said, “they’d go to (their) daddy’s. That’s where the drugs got started.”

Her son Jeff, now 43, remembers it well. “My (late) dad was always a drinker,” he said. “He kind of allowed us to use at home because he thought he was helping us by giving us a safe place to do it, so we wouldn’t be out and get hurt or hurt someone else. Was it helping, or enabling?”

Jeff and brother Josh, now 44, began using drugs in their late teens. Soon DUIs and jail time followed, then felony possession charges and stiffer prison sentences.

Both of Shirley’s sons spent the next 20 years in serious addiction. “I feel for anyone dealing with drugs in the family,” she said. “It’s life-changing.”

Both sons eventually ended up at Lifeline – Jeff first, in 2022. “I told the judge I’ve done the same thing over and over my whole life,” Jeff said, “and ‘if you’ll give me a chance to do something different, I want to change my life.’ ”

Jeff said Lifeline’s faith-based recovery program finally helped him make that change. “I had been raised in church, but I’d lost track of my relationship with God,” he said. “Lifeline helped me get spiritually fit while I was getting sober.”

“Jeff told me, ‘You’ve got to get your life together,’ ” Josh said, “so I checked myself into Lifeline. I wanted to leave many times, but I stuck it out. It was a big change for me. But I was fed up with being broke, spending money on drugs, and I didn’t want to live that way any more.”

Josh said seeing his brother’s success influenced him. “I saw him change his life, turn his life around,” Josh said, “so I had to at least try.”

After treatment at Lifeline, Josh moved in with his brother in January 2025. Each has a job, a car and sobriety for the first time in their adult lives. Jeff is

mending a relationship with his 16-year-old daughter and building a relationship with his four-year-old son. “Life’s better than it’s ever been,” Jeff said.

Each brother holds the other accountable.

“I don’t like that it took me so long to realize that was not the way I want to live,” Josh said, “but I’m just grateful I got here.” Shirley is grateful, too.

“I asked God for years to take that monkey off Jeffery’s back, and I prayed for Josh,” she said. “I am so thankful, just so proud of them, so very proud. And I’m thankful

for Lifeline – they have made my life bearable.”

They said families can help those dealing with addiction by holding them accountable, not enabling them. “It’s the hardest thing in the world not to help them when they’re asking for money,” Shirley said, “because they’re your kids. Now that I know how wonderful it is not to have to worry about them, I would never go back to helping (enable) in any kind of way.”

When Jeff was in treatment at Lifeline, he asked his mother, Shirley, for a quilt displaying the Lifeline logo, a lighthouse of hope. Her creative response now hangs in the administrative building on the new women’s campus.