Life is Shit Festival Zine, Vol. 3

a shitty zine for a shitty MUSIC festival Vol. 3

IN THIS SHITT

Y ZINE

W o r d s : Jo h n s o n (0 -1 ) Ja c k E va n -1 7 )

Founder Jack Evan Johnson -e Dir ector Executiv or telina Stefanova - Direct

Tsve e g a s (1 6 Sponsorship Manager G ir l s R o c k Va n (2 1, 2 2 ) Ja m e s N o r m ia m s o n (2 4 -2 5 , 2 7 ) Angie Randazzo - Dive Bar Owner Head Of Security L a u r e n W il l l e t (2 8 -2 9 ) is a H E D a n ie l Owner 0) Nate Bruce - Dive Bar B rya n T o d d (3 (3 1) Of The Beard n ma air Ch B r ia n G ib s o n k (3 5 -3 7 ) Artistic Dictator K r is K r a in o ch ay (4 2 ) James Howard Adams r a Wa r r e n H

Im a g e s : r e ir a (1 ) T if fa n y P e

s (1 8 ) D il l o n S h in e m o r e (1 9 ) it M ik ay l a W h 0 , 4 1) E r in C a s e (2 d d y (2 1) Y o u r H o ly B ue P o t t e r E va n s (2 2 ) B e t h a n y Ja n c ia (2 3 ) M a r ie Va l e n va l h o (2 5 ) M a l l o ry C a r 6) Rya n M il l s (2a (2 7 ) A p r il T e ix e ir8 -2 9 ) T G M il l e r (2 0 ) M a ry S a b o (3i (3 1) Jo r g e C at o n (3 2 ) JW C a l d w e l l (3 3 ) R o n R ie r s o n t e fa n o va (3 4) T s v e t e l in a S (3 5 , 3 6 ) K a r in M il l e r 7 ) D av id D av is (3(3 8 ) Ang Kerfoot L O S AVA (3 9 ) e l l e (4 0 ) A l l is o n M ic h3 ) A l e x is L e e (4

ZINE ART & LAYOUT @ FEDERALIBOB

SHITTY SCHE

DULE

k Loud As Fol 4 :0 0 p m FA R A N G S 4 :2 0 p m TERS T h e A C ID S IS

S 5 :0 0 p m P O IS O N B OY Y 5 :4 5 p m E MAGIC FAMIL H T & R E D A R 6 :3 0 p m TED A RY SAME SEX M 7:1 5 p m S N A IL M AT E 8 :0 0 p m HNSON JA C K E VA N JO

8 :4 5 p m S H IT D O G M A

S 9 :3 0 p m T H E F lY T R A P T 1 0 :1 5 p m T IG H T F R IG H ER 1 1 :1 5 p m DANGERBON

1 2 :0 0 a m E FREAK OUT D THE SATELLIT AN EE FR . r M 1 2 :4 5 a m K U R U M P AW 1 :3 0 a m

GE OUT HOUSE STA k l o F s A d u o L cGuire Spike M field Max Trouble ris Charles Nor Disease The Midnight Greg Gilmore REY CHRISTINE CO Bryan Jones Alex Higgins Kat Kalling n Paige Overto iele Brock Frabb K. Kilfeather Labrador MariposA

1

Loud As Folk

farangs

E OLLECTIV ILIATED C W WHO F F A LY E LOOS ER KNO , WE’RE A YOU NEV N SHITTY NAME Y N A BAND TY COUNTRIES. T A W H IT T H R E U S R HIT MO UN O O OUR SE: WE’RE SHITTY STATES AND S SHOWS. WE ALSO R U A C E B SHIT ING MULTIPLE SHITTY D LABEL. N D IS THE E OF OUR OUR BAN SONGWRITERS SPANE APPEARANCE AT ONR OWN SHITTY RECOR H OW Y OF JULY S OF SHITT AKING A SURPRIS TLY LAUNCHED OU AY A 4TH QUICK L P O T R M BA EN ING MIGHT BE STUDIO AND REC G UP IN A S D OF TAK G RE SETTIN IS KAKIS. INSTEA DIARRHETIC DRIP E IN D W R E O W C : E H ) R H P Y IT A H W R F C E O W U O N P U D D L ES R (AND CEEDED T D THE VE T GIG EVNEWALKED IN AND PROED AIMLESSLY AROUEND IN ONE OF THE FOW. NL O SHIT. S IE T IT H OUR S OLDER GENTLEME BLEM, HE WANDER DRUMMER STEPP EFFY SHIT SHOES” WHEN AN DDRESS THE PRO SOME POINT THE THE NICKNAME “J H OA . AT ACTION T UT HIS PANT LEG HE NEXT YEAR WIT O T T G N IN E P P PLOP AND S H OW D E R GROW. B ROW N C S THINGS E K A M IT J. U S E : SH IG AS A D HIT BECA .

S GET IT A G IS N A E R E D O ES C IF L OU Y ALITY SU T U U Q B E , IN D G ARDIN A TUR GUE REG ’T POLISH N AL DIALO N A INK IO C T A U N O Y SHITTY P K , BUT OUR IN WAS THIS T T S O G ’T I L N L A DO SHIT, AND W’S SHIT O LIFE IS OUR CRE “I WENT T OLK : LOUD AS F

H

N OUR ELP DESIG

EYE MED

NEW T-SH

IRT:

ICATION.”

Y BA N D OUR SHITT

NAME: FARA

NGS AYS M

AUSE: WE ALW

B RU S H AKE SURE TO

AND FLOSS

BEFORE BE

D.

E OWD HAS TH NS THE CR A E M IG G T G OUR FIRS OUR B Y): THIS BEUINR SHITTIEST. H W D N A ( ER T BE O MIGHT JUS IEST GIG EV OUR SHITOTPPORTUNITY TO SEE WHAT EXCLUSIVE ECAY. YTH D TOOTH D E N E WS ! M GIVITIS AN IN G : E S U ERING! FAK A W C S E N A B T O IT D. (N LIFE IS SH N ____ A TUR

SHIT BEC AND IS THE

YO

O U CA URD, BUTLIYSH A TURD!) T A H IS L O O U CAN’T P ACTUALLY P

BUSTERS P

M

ROVED YOU

CA N

HIT DON’T Y BAND’S S

H E L P D ES SAMPLE.”

STINK, BU

W T-SHIR IGN OUR NE

OF SCENTE T OUR LINE

LI T: “I WENT TO

FE IS S

D CANDLES

S U R E D O ES

.

THIS SHIT I GOT WAS HIT, AND ALL

TY FECAL

3

AND NAME OUR SHITTY B TH OUR BAND IS

: THE ACID SISTER

E SHIT BECAU

SE: WE OPE

S

BLACK SA NED UP FOR A

BBATH TRIBU

SHOW AT TH AYNA’S BDAY

(AND WHY):OELLEN. R E V E IG G T S R ST T ALL HER GEA OUR SHITTIE YEARS BACK

BECAUSE SHE

EC LIFE IS SHIT B YOU CAN’T PO MY BAND’S S

AYING LIS.

YOU CAN PU A TURD, BUT

INK, BUT OUR HIT DON’T ST

HIRT: “I OUR NEW T-S N IG S E D P L E H LED TURD.” LIPSTICK BEDA

D NAME: POISO

HE SHIT BEC UR BAND IS T

OUR SHITT LIFE IS

5:30 SLOT SU

A TURD.

RE DOES.

SHIT, AND ENT TO LIFE IS

AUSE: WE FUCK

E: IT SURE AIN SHIT BECAUS

L YOU CAN’T PO

ALL I GOT WAS

THIS SHITTY

IS

IN RULE.

LIFE IS SHIT FE

’T NO WALK IN

STINK, BUT ’S SHIT DON’T

EW T-SHIRT: “I

ST ‘18.

DA PAAK.

T YOU CAN SL H A TURD, BU

OUR N HELP DESIGN

4

W

T LIPSTICK ON

N BOYS

(AND WHY): IEST GIG EVER

M Y BA N D

A COUPLE

ZZ

AN OUR SHITTY B O

E BUNKHOUSE

.

GO

AUSE: WE’RE PL

LISH

TE BAND ONCE

IP ON A HOT O

OUR DICKS SU WENT TO

NE.

RE DO.

AND ALL I GO LIFE IS SHIT,

T WAS THIS SH

ITTY IDIOT.”

the acid sisters

poison boys

ted rader & the magic family

same sex mary

TTY B OUR SHI O U R BA N

AND NAM

E:

SHIT B D IS THE

A VAPE.

T T I ES OUR SHI

T GIG EV

HIT BEC LIFE IS S YOU

RADE INDIANA

E C AU S E

E

:

HE TEM R AND T

ALLER NORM IS

HY): I D R (AND W

AUSE: YO

U’LL NEV

AY LIF WAYS PL L A ’T N A C

U

HIT DON

SIGN HELP DE INTERVIE

T Y BA N

’T

ATS, JO L OV ES C

S E J U ST

BOUGHT

OW.

E IS BEA

UTIFUL.

O SERIO EING A T

U T OUR ST I N K , B

OUR NEW

AGIC

ATS, TED

GET INT .

URD YO U C A N

ER US

D’S S M Y BA N

GIC TO C

ON’T KN

D, BUT H A T U R U ST E N D U P J U ST B IS L O P CAN’T E AND J

THAT YO

PLE OF M

KING CR

: “I WENT T T-SHIRT

US COLL

IMSON R

O LIFE IS

E

FOR AN G E D E BT

O L L E CT ECORD C

SHIT, A

A RT D E G

ION SUR

REE

E D O ES .

THIS S GOT WAS ND ALL I

HITTY

W.”

SA M E S E D NAME:

X SHITTY

N H Y D RO

CLEAN -COLONIC

S ES T O G

E T H E R.

TELY COMPLE RE. . JAMES T HE R O W S Y E R R EVE SKI HIT GIG AT A SHITTING S A D E N D E A H Y T G A L D IS AS PUKIN E ONCE P O U R BA N WHY): W D POISONING AND W D N A ( R EVE MIKE HAD FOO D BE AT COUL TIEST GIG ET. LE OF WH D ID M OUR SHITVOICE BEFORE THE SUGH. E TH ILLING IN LOST HIS Y WAS NICE THO IE ROLL F S T O R O E T N ING THE SCE ILL PUTT EY’RE ST H T : E S U A TURD. HIT BECALOW POP. ST E P O N S D IS N A E E IF O L H EB LISH A S CTLY FIN A PERFE U CA N P O O Y T U B ES .

TURD, SURE DO POLISH A BA N T E R ’T E N G TY LIFE IS A A T C S OUR YOU THIS SHIT T S U A B W , T K O LIG ’T STIN , AND AL SHIT DON E IS SHIT ’S IF D L N O A T B T MY T: “I WEN

OUR SHIT

H

: WE DO B E C AU S E

-S R NEW T U O N IG S ELP DE ND.”

BEAUTIF

UL WRIS

G RO U P O

HIR

T BA

7

NAME: SNAILM

BA N D OUR SHITTY OU

ATE

KEEP GETTI BECAUSE:HW. E IT H S E H T R BAND IS EP SO MUC

N

BY ALIENS G ABDUCTED

, AND I’M PR

ETTY SURE

ED OMERS CALL LO. THE CUST IL R A M A IN ZOMBIEZ (AND WHY):MAKE US STOP PLAYING. R E V E IG G T E S H OUR SHITTIEHOUSE AND DEMANDED THAT .

IS H AT ER OP TOURING N OW ’T LET US ST N O W S D R LIEN OVERLO CAUSE: THE A E B IT H S IS LIFE H A TURD. U CAN PUBLIS

EY IT’S CAUSE TH

LIKE OUR NEW

OLISH YOU CAN’T P MY BAND’S S

A TURD, BUT

HIT DON

YO

T OUR SEXY B ’T STINK, BU

HIR OUR NEW T-S N IG S E D P L HE ODLUST.” INSATIABLE

OU

BA R SHITTY

T: “I

ODIES SURE

THE

DO.

ALL I G IS SHIT, AND WENT TO LIFE

OT WAS THIS

SHITTY

BLO

: JACK EVA ND NAME

N JOHNSO

N , AND W TÖ R H E A D

E PLAY RO

CK ‘N’ RO

LL.

ULSA. IT AYED IN T L P Y IT C FORE WE DUDE T LD BAND HE FACE RIGHT BE SELF IS O Y D M N E A OUR B ): THE TIM SVET IN T ’S WHAT “ AND WHYES ACCIDENTALLY HIT WT ANT TO PAY US. THAT ( R E V E M ’T E, AND JA TIEST GIG BAR DIDN OUR SHITING, NOBODY WAS THEGROOD SHOW. THEN THEINE DRAGONS. WAS RAIN GE. IT WAS NOT A ED BY. ALSO, IMAG STA PIR WENT ON WAS, IN PART, INS D. ” N A F RO M G O MADE M MISSION A N O E ’R .

S E : WE E A TURD IT BECAU H SAU SAG H S IS L O IS P E N LIF CA

YOU CA

E C AU S E HE SHIT B

H A TUR N’T POLIS

M Y BA N D

’S SH

H E L P D ES

8

D, BUT YO

IT DON’T S

IGN OUR

: WE’RE MO

NEW

U

AL SURE D

IV O U R F ES T TINK, BUT I W E N T TO T-SHIRT: “

LIFE IS SH

O ES .

IT, A

OT WAS ND ALL I G

THIS SHIT

TY BODY.”

snailmate

jack evan johnson

shit dogma

the flytraps

O

BA N D N UR SHITTY

O U R BA N D

IS T

AME: SHIT D

E C AU HE SHIT B EV

TIEST GIG OUR SHITIT! SO, EAT SH

IT BECA LIFE IS SILHE NOW.

MA D VAIN HU USE VILE AN

OLISH A U CAN’T P

MY BAND’S

SHIT

TURD, BUT

OUR

YOU

K, BUT DON’T STIN

EW IGN OUR N HELP DES EED.” O F L E GA L

T TS A SE: 1200 WA

H Y ) : WE ER (AND W

FOR A WH

YO

OGMA

T-

ND 12 SPE

A K E RS .

Y SHIT GIG DON’T PLA

AS B N TRASH H

E CATHA S B E C AU S

ING OUT E E N B L OW

LY PUT GOOG CAN MAYBE

OUR REJE

ENT T SHIRT: “I W

C

O LIFE IS S

HIT, AND A

L

A N OV E R F

E Y ES O N A

NNOYING TION OF A

RSIS IS FO

R US;

LOWING B

IN

TURD.

BULLSHIT

SURE DOE

S THIS SH L I GOT WA

S.

ITTY PRIC

E D BAG

W

ND NAM SHITTY BA

E: THE FLYTR

APS T E G OT T H A

E N E RG Y BIG DICK

WITHOUT

DICKS.

D ND PASSE OUR FRIE D N A D N TH. AKLA IS THE AYED IN O TO KRISTIN’S MOU EN WE PL IN H O U R BA N D D W E : ) IT Y M CTILE VO AND WH IG EVERO(RE OUR SET. THEN PROJE G T S IE T OUR SHITED IN THE STREET BEF .

OUT WAST THE BEST. S A CATCH HOPE FOR E’S ALWAY D R N E A H L T O : O E CH B E C AU S B E AU T Y S N SEND IT TO IFE IS SHIT

USE: WE’V SHIT BECA

L

YOU CAN

A TURD ’T POLISH

M Y BA N D

’S SH

H E L P D ES

, BUT YOU

TINK IT DON’T S

IGN OU

CA

ERFU , B U T OUR P

N T TO HIRT: “I WE S T W E N R

ME SURE

LIFE IS SH

D O ES .

IT, AND A

H AS THIS S L L I G OT W

.”

ITTY BLOW

11

Y BA N D N OUR SHITT O U R BA

AME: TIGHT FR

HIT BECAU ND IS THE S

IGHT

SE: WE LIKE TO

VER (AND TIEST GIG E

OUR SHITMETHHEADS DON’T MIX. TOOTHLESS

THIN

WHY): ALBU

: LIFE IS SH IT BECAUSE

IT ‘CAUSE N

ORE OF ELVES AS M K O F O U RS

Q U E RQ

OTHING

HIPSTERS UE, ‘CAUSE

TTERS, PIZ YOU DO MA

A FERTILIZE

, METAL SC

Z A M A K ES

R.

ENE KIDS, A

ND

D YOU FAT, AN

R SIDE PASSENGE UNDER THE R THAT DAY HE IT E V A LE E A TURD WS LATE G O D D O ES N U CAN FRETOEZSCHOOL, SO WHEN IT THA O Y T U B D UR YOU POLISH A T N HE TAKES YOU CANU’TR STEPDAD JOE’S CAR WHGEOING ON. FUCK YOU, JOE. ’S SEAT OF YO AT THE HELL ES .

RE OUT WH N SURE DO CAN’T FIGU UR TOUR VA O T TY U B , A S A S H IT ON’T STINK D LL I GOT W IT A H D S N A ’S IT D SH M Y BA N O L IF E IS T: “I W E N T T

LIFE IS SH’T EXIST.

OUR NEW T N IG S E D P L HE TA IN T.” RASH ON

MY

Y BA N D N OUR SHITT O

A M E : DA N G E

THE SHIT UR BAND IS

OUR SHIT A YEAR.

SHIR

RBONER

B E CAU S E :

VER (AND TIEST GIG E

LIFE IS SH

E: WE PLAY IT BECAUS

YOU CAN’T

POLISH

WE

IN ALLOWING ’VE BEEN W

WHY): IS EA ONCE A YE

EARS.

E ONLY OW THAT W PINPOINT N

AN IMPEACH

BUT OUR AT N’T STINK,

A TURD.

TITUDE SU

R E D O ES .

D ALL I G IS SHIT, AN E F LI TO T T: “I WEN NEW T-SHIMIRE MORE PRODUCTIVELY.” R U O N IG HELP DESAT I SHOULD SPEND MY T FEELING TH

12

PLAY ONCE

AR.

T YO U C A TURD, BU

SHIT DO MY BAND’S

SIER TO

IT FOR 12 Y

OT WAS TH

IS SHITTY

tight fright

dangerboner

mr. free and the satellite freakout!

Kurumpaw

HE SATE EE AND T

LLITE FRE

AKOUT!

E AND WE

’RE STILL

MOR : MR AND ANY ND NAME A EVEN A B E. B T O Y N T T E D IT E ’R S OB : WE E S AT SHE U U OUR SH H A W C ’T OF E IN HIPPIES E SHITOBLD GRAY MARE JUST A H T UST FUND WANNA TAKE R IS T E D H N T , D S THAT LY WHEN OUR BOAPLAY BUT BE WARNE Y): PROPBAAINB TED BUS WERE HIPPIE H W D ASKED T N A EVER (UP OF YOUNGINS IN A IEST GIG T IT H RS L O N G A N Y G RO S T A R MY OU HT TH ERAL YEA . FR

V IS UG T OF A SE RING. Y CA T H O THAT THIS MING OU W GATHE BERKELE HE FACT O O C B (T T .

IN S N A JU IO R T THE IS QUES WHAT I’M T H E M TO : YOU KNAODWVISES ME TO IGNORE TH E S U A C IS E APIST HIT B U R BA N D THERE, O P LIFE ISIOSN SPIRAL AND MY TRH.)ER U D L O TURD. H E D E P R ES S A L A N SW AN _______ A C U IS THE RE , O R E Y W T S AN D, BU AY ODY SPR ISH A TDUEERD POLISH A TURD. L O OF AXE B P N A C ’T ’S N K HEN NIC YOU CAROOF THAT YOU CAN IN T OUR VAN, W U B , K LIVING P TY IN THIS SHIT DON’T .ST IT GOT WAS H I T L S X L E A N ’S D E FOR TH SHIT, AN MY BANS IND HIS BAG, SURE DOES NEED E I M OV E O LIFE IS LY T IM L T T A N E Y E R R I E W V T: “I NDER MY BED. E E THINGS AND DO T BUT I IR EXPLODE H S T NEW F 2 SHOE BOXES U HANG ON TO THES LSO GOT THIS SHIR WILL IGN OUR EO IA OI .I HELP DTEI’MS GOING TO PUT INBOONX AND WONDER WHHYRDOW AWAY? I SUPPOOSPEERTY AND OWNERSHIP T A R H P IS O T T H F T E O ZIN OK IN RDER EALTHY RS I’LL LO HANG ON? IS IT H AS A DIFFERENT O FEW YEA O IT T T-SHIRT.” Y Y T IF H E T E LT N A E W HE SO I’LL ID ESTION, SWEET S TO? IS IT IT R O F PAID UT QU PROBABLY FOREVER WITHO OU Y H IS R E CH

OUR SHITTY B

AND NAME: KU

RUMPAW

TOOLS TO THE GREATEST OF E ON IS IC SO THAT THE E: WE BELIEVE TMAUSPOSITIVE MESSAGE THROUGH IT S U A C E B IT H ND OU THE S OUR BAND EISAND CONNECT AND WE LIKE TO SE AT <3 IC COMMUN ORE LOVE YTHING IS FILLED WITH M D SHOWS EVER BA AD H WORLD CAN BE E AV H THOUGH WE ND WHY): EVGENFAM! (A R E V E IG G T N OUR SHITTIEPES RIENCE, EVERY GIG IS A BLESSI EX E TH OF PART K :( CAN MOONWAL OT EVERYONE N : E S U A C E IT AT AN ART LIFE IS SHIT B D SHOWCASE AN RD TU OF TAKE PICTURES

LISH A YOU CAN’T PO GALLERY.

MY BAND’S

U CA N

INK, BUT OUR SHIT DON’T ST

O HELP DESIGN T-SHIRT.”

TURD, BUT YO

UR NEW T-SH

IRT: “I W

NECK SURE DO

ES!

SHIT, AND AL ENT TO LIFE IS

L I GOT WAS TH

IS SHITTY LAM

E

15

!

K C O R S L R I G ?

S K C O R O WH H YEAR GIRLS ROCK VEGAS IN OUR TENT

TH IS PROUD TO PARTNER WI , ER GIRLS AND WOMEN W PO EM TO S EK SE S GA VE CK GIRLS RO

LIFE IS SHIT! AND PERFORMANCE. THOUGH MUSIC CREATION

D LEARN TO PLAY ELECTRIC INSTRUMENT FOR S, MOST PICKING UP THEIR UM DR D AN S RD OA YB KE , GUITAR, BASS THE COURSE OF A EIR OWN BANDS, AND OVER TH RM FO S ER MP CA E. THE FIRST TIM OWCASE CONCERT AT S THAT THEY PLAY AT A SH NG SO L NA IGI OR E OS MP WEEK, CO ON POSITIVE BODY RTICIPATE IN WORKSHOPS PA SO AL S ND BA .

MP CA OF THE END OMOTION. LOCAL T GRRRL, AND DIY BAND PR RIO , DIA ME E TH IN N ME WO IME IMAGE, NDY WARPOP PLAY LUNCHT CA D AN S KIN JEN CO CO E ARTISTS AND BANDS LIK WHO MAY ROLE MODELS FOR GIRLS IVE SIT PO AS E RV SE D AN CONCERTS, MENTOR AT GIRLS . SURVEY DATA TAKEN IAN SIC MU LE MA FE L CA LO HAVE NEVER MET A E EXPERIENCE ELEVATES

R PROGRAMS AN GIRLS AGES 9-17 COME TO OU

SHOW THAT TH SES ROCK VEGASâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S PROGRAMS BODY IMAGE, AND INCREA E TIV SI PO PS LO VE DE , M SELF-ESTEE

ACADEMIC AND CREATIVE

CONFIDENCE.

CEIVE FR DONATIONS LIKE THOSE WE RE

LOWED US OM LIFE IS SHIT HAVE AL

AFFORD TO ATTEND. O COULD NOT OTHERWISE WH MP CA D EN ATT TO LS MENT CABLE TO ACCEPT MANY GIR SURE A GIRL HAS AN INSTRU EN LP HE N CA U YO S, AR LL RE SHE HAS A FOR TWENTY DO DOLLARS, YOU CAN HELP ENSU TY FIF R FO .

S ICK ST UM DR OR A PAIR OF L MUSICIAN. TION FROM A PROFESSIONA UC TR INS T EN UM TR INS GUITAR. MORNING OF RE SHE HAS AN ELECTRIC SU EN LP HE N CA U YO , S LLAR FOR ONE HUNDRED DO

FEDERAL OFIT CORPORATION AND A GAS ARE NS MADE TO GIRLS ROCK VE TIO NA DO .

ITY AR CH IC BL PU 501(C)(3) E CODE. OF THE INTERNAL REVENU 170 N IO CT SE R DE UN E IBL DEDUCT ORMATION.

VADA NON-PR GIRLS ROCK VEGAS IS A NE VISIT US AT WWW.GIRLSRO

CKVEGAS.ORG FOR MORE

INF

17

because we are the one keeping the power plant running. we arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t buying a product: we are buying a cheaply manufactured dream, a tinseled lie of happiness, an articulate mist that will dissolve on impact.

-----------------------------------------they arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t buying our freedom either. just the rights for any further reproduction of what matters.

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...again

it’s why we kick y’all fuckboys out ya know at 3am after you didn’t make us cum

instead of wiping tears we flick, spread war paint under our eyes that are for once, rested

i’ve won slams in vegas but like i fucked up at nats cuz i listened to my coach good dude but uhhh still. a. man.

let that dick goooo

(this is the talk about how amazing females are but y’all already fucking know at least i realllly hope you do and if they can’t see your magic)

i get it though. like. how could i not.

but i do wish girls weren’t such FUCKING ENIGMAS

and uhhh clearly don’t need no man

but, sugar, i got my own stuff on lock toys hands mouth cunt i love how I taste

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