Life In Orpington January 2021

FR BECAUSE COMMUNITY MATTERS

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ISSUE 23 . JANUARY 2021

Winter-proof your mood SHOP THE SALES LIKE A BOSS

Hilarious tax return excuses A better birth – your way

AT A T IM E E G A P E N O Y IT COMMUN IN S P IR IN G T H E

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2 Life in... Orpington January 2021

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Welcome to Life in ORPINGTON... ...your local community magazine that has something to suit all tastes Lauretta

Nicky

Happy New Year! I think most of us have been longing to see the arrival of 2021 – and glad to have left 2020 behind us. The start of a new year brings new hopes, dreams and aspirations – and although none of us could have foreseen the events of 2020, it’s great to be able to look to the future and try to take positive learning lessons from what we’ve endured.

CONTENTS

January 2021

Community News

With this month being the month of sales shopping and ‘D’ Day – as in divorce (as well as Blue Monday), we’ve got some great features to get you prepped – from winter proofing your mood (p28) and shopping the sales like a boss (p26), to being able to keep your New Year’s resolutions (p25) and avoiding the (inevitable) January arguments (p25).

Getting to know Orpington....................... 4 Write it, Say it, Message it PRIZE GIVEAWAY.................................... 7 Noticeboard.............................................. 8 Mayor's Voice......................................... 11

Inspired by the popularity of the history feature produced by The Orpington History Organisation, we thought we’d share some of our own research on this month in history, plus a few general fun facts…

• January is named for the Roman god Janus – the god of gateways.

What’s On

• The London Underground began operating in January 1863.

This Month ............................................. 12

• The flower symbol of January is snowdrop & carnation – hence why we included this on our cover this month!

Lifestyle

• Motorists were required by law to wear seat belts on this month in 1983.

Business................................................. 15 Puzzle Page - PRIZE GIVEAWAY........... 16 Ask The Experts..................................... 18 Did You Know......................................... 21 Eco......................................................... 22 Life Hacks............................................... 25 Health & Beauty...................................... 26 Shopping................................................ 28 Classifieds.............................................. 29 Stockists................................................. 30 A Final Thought...................................... 31

• More couples separate or divorce in January than in any other month.

• Celebrities Nicolas Cage, Frank Sinatra, Orlando Bloom, Stephen Hawking, Bradley Cooper and Michelle Obama all have January birthdays.

• On 28th January 1807, London became the world’s first city to be lit by gas lights.

Finally, we’ll leave you with this lovely quote from Rosalynn Carter on community.

"I believe that one of the most important things to learn in life is that you can make a difference in your community no matter who you are or where you live" Happy New Year and have a wonderful month!

Published by: Life In Magazines Ltd

Nicky and Lauretta

NEXT COPY DEADLINE: 12TH JAN

Nicky Grant and Lauretta Wright, Editors

What's one thing that can instantly make your day better?

Nicky: A favourite tune playing on the radio.

Lauretta: A chat on the phone with a friend.

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To advertise in Life In Orpington contact Nicky or Lauretta 07403 603569 or 07403 550068 hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk lifeinmagazines.co.uk

@lifeinmags

January 2021 Life in... Orpington 3

community news

Getting Orpington to know Lost Pubs The global pandemic is affecting everyone’s lives at the moment. Many industry sectors have been severely impacted and therefore some businesses will close completely. The hospitality sector has been particularly affected and we can only hope that pubs, restaurants and other outlets will be able to survive.

This article is to remind us of the Public Houses that used to serve our area, but are no longer with us.

If we take the upper Cray Valley from Farnborough Village to St Paul’s Cray, a staggering 24 Public Houses have been lost over the past 100 years or so. If we were to widen the area to include adjacent villages and nearby towns the number would be considerably higher.

Lost Pubs Map

Did you know?

Most of the closed pubs were clustered in the High One of the oldest pubs in this Streets of Orpington, New Town (as this area was list is the Robin Hood Inn (not to be confused with the Robin Hood Pub once called) and St Mary Cray together with the at St Mary Cray station). It is located housing estates of St Paul’s Cray. All these pubs near the junction of Leesons Hill and would have been thriving enterprises serving their St Paul’s Wood Hill. It probably ceased local community. However, circumstances can trading when the coaching route change (e.g as we are seeing now with the impact was changed, cutting it off from the pandemic is having), and this can lead to a loss passing traffic. However, the of business, or there may be other factors reducing building still exists trade and then a once thriving pub may have to close. today.

It is difficult to single out a particular pub to mention as each lost pub will have a particular meaning or memory to anyone who frequented it. Hopefully the names on the map will bring back happy memories and, when we can, let’s utilise and enjoy the pubs that still serve our community.

Coach and Horse, Farnborough

Royal Albert

The Red Lion

The Broomwood

The Orpington History Organisation (OHO) www.orpington-history.org | Facebook @OrpHistOrg

4 Life in... Orpington January 2021

The Anglesea Arms Rock and Fountain, Well Hill

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FR ON EE D or 20 with TA ELI % OF in a 3 KEA VER F C mile WA Y OL rad YS LE ius CT IO NS

Enjoy modern Turkish cuisine in a

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LIVE MUSIC Every other Saturday An evening not to be missed!

01689 855579 354 Crofton Road, Locksbottom, Kent, BR6 8NN info@thebankrestaurant.com www.thebankrestaurant.com thebanklocksbottom lifeinmagazines.co.uk

Mid Week Offers See our website for our latest news and menus - there’s always a reason to visit The Bank

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Continues... e Tu tw esd e b ay - Friday

thebank_locksbottom January 2021 Life in... Orpington 5

Flowers for new beginnings

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6 Life in... Orpington January 2021

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community news

Write It, Say It, Message It!

Got something to shout about? Maybe you want to respond to an article or want to spread the word about something locally?

Email us at hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk or text us on 07403 550068.

You can also tag us in on social media @lifeinmags

Spotted on social

Star response Who you gonna call?

Here’s my poem, ‘Red Telephone Box’.

The story behind it was inspired by Nigel Andrews and his wife Jackie who are the owners and landlords of The Queen's Head in Downe. They do lots to support the local community and charities – the poem explains it all and my friend Jean Miles purchased two little Red Telephone boxes to put in the pub to collect for the Andrews’ chosen charity.

Tag us on social to get our attention! @lifeinmags

Linda R Needham

RED TELEPHONE BOX There's a little bit of old England That appears to be slipping away Because of decisions made higher up Red phone boxes! Don't pay their way!

I'm so relieved to find Nigel! A landlord from Downe Who's fought his own little battle just to turn things around Like a knight defending his castle, his phone box at The Queens Head He being wise fought to save it! Purchased! Restoring! Instead As a knight of the round table for England, Nigel wants to defend A little bit of old England! That appears to be coming to an end!

To Nigel his special Red Telephone Box Is as important to England! As the dear old red fox

Living behind Tesco (which can be !) very interesting for people watching I took this picture of the birds heading home against the sunset!

Anne J

Nigel purchased the treasured phone box for princely sum of a pound To provide an attraction for his pub! Where spirits are served on his holy ground Some will see transformation, some may even laugh Some like me! Others tourists! May take a photograph!

You'll find a very warm welcome as you enter the door Yes a little bit of Old England, you'll see there again once more I'm sure when the restoration's over and the glass is replaced and complete Local people of Kent will gather (socially distanced of course) to rest their weary feet.

So Nigel, here's two little red phone boxes! Rather special and just for you So everyone can contribute, to help make your entire dream come true Then when your phone box is finished! Still collect for charity!

May god bless you and your family! And here's your first donation from me!

Life In Orpington is such a fantastic publication and you are doing a brilliant job of bringing some ‘normality’ to life.

It really helps us all feel connected to the commu nity.

Kirsten Thomas

the star response ( ) wins a £10 voucher to spend on stationery at tangent office resources www.tangentoffice.com lifeinmagazines.co.uk

Workwea OFFICE RESOURCES

0800

January 2021 Life in... Orpington 7

QUALIT Y BRANDED CLOTHING FO

community news - NOTICEBOARD LISTEN UP!

am-12pm Ever y Friday 11 is a new Mindset Matters launching local radio show cuses on fo this month that wellbed an h mental healt who rs ke ea sp t es ing. Gu ld fie eir iring are experts in th ll brave and insp wi as , ed will be featur ys urne and their personal jo people to share experiences. first live show Launch date of ar y (tbc).

Friday 8th Janu nel two radio: Listen in at Chan dio.co.uk/two/ w w w.channelra available portunities are Sponsorship op gmail.com s@ on indsethoriz please email m

POLICE UPDATES • Police were alerted to Melody Road in Biggin Hill recently due to a resident discovering a WWII a RAF 8.5LB pra ctice bomb whilst doing some gardening! Th e police explosive specia list unit arrived on scene shortly after the call and in a coordinated effort with other emergency ser vices, the police exp o team safely removed the device.

•

If you have been given a free Smartwater kit please ensure your stickers are displayed in a prominent place. Burgl aries have occurred in areas that have been giv en Smartwater but the stickers advertising its use have not been used.

Visit www.met.police.uk /cp/crime-prevention/ for really useful advice.

A helping hand…

We’ve been touched with stories of community spirit over the last few months and recently heard about Holy Innocents’ Primary Sch ool, who stepped in to offer their help to the reside nts of Cabrini House - a residential home for 23 adults with learning disabilities run by the cha rity Diagrama. With last year’s pandemic restriction s making it difficult for residents to safely use pub lic outside space for exercise, Diagrama approa ched Holy Innocents to see if they could help.

The school not offered exclusive use of its playing fields during the school holidays, they also offered use of the grounds at weekends and during the evenings.

David McGuire, Chief Exe cutive of Diagrama, said: “Imagine if you asked for sugar and your neighbour gave you not just sugar but all the food you wanted whenever you were hungry . This is what Holy Innocents’ Primary School did for us and I have no words to explain the reli ef and delight that this display of community spi rit means to everyone at Cabrini House.”

8 Life in... Orpington January 2021

HO HO HO

made a star The real Father Christmas wing Room in Dra appearance outside The Following . nth mo t las Locksbottom g, Father cin tan dis ial soc on s guideline n, ldre asking what Christmas chatted with chi And us adults? A s. ma they’d like for Christ be a start! uld wo lity ma return to nor

Feature on the

Community Noticeboard!

ws

cal ne o l e r a sh

for just £30. We aim to list charity and non-profit notices for free (space dependent), or we offer a 20% discount for a guaranteed listing.

Email hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk with the details.

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January 2021 Life in... Orpington 9

community news - NOTICEBOARD

New fitness pilot scheme

e, has chosen Sports tech company, Sportsid launch a pilot to ley Brom the London Borough of ds of residents san thou help to eme sch r voluntee e is seeking stay healthy and active. Sportsid sts to sign up as Bromley-based sports enthusia the charge in ‘Community Captains’ and lead , which sees eme sch The ve. helping locals stay acti people to trial the first the ome bec ls loca ley Brom ower the volunteer new free Sportside app, will emp fellow residents t ‘Community Captains’ to aler to join together them ge oura enc and on the app rt and exercise spo itted before taking part in perm of running, cycling, likes the ding inclu s, vitie acti tennis, football or walking.

Local History fi lms from OVFM

During the first loc kdown Orpington Video & Film Makers made se veral of their local history films available to be vie wed. Now you m ight like to watch some of th ese again. If so, links are provided below wi th three further Ne wsreels, from 1996, 2000 & 2001, added: Classic Newsre els www.ovfm.o rg.uk/ovfm-clas sicnewsreels/ VE Day 1995 ww w.ovfm.org.uk/v e-day-celebratio nslooking-back-w ith-ovfm/ History of Orpin gton www.ovfm .org.uk/ovfm-hist oryof-orpington-pr oject/

e.com/

For details see www.sportsid communitycaptain

Birthday wishes...

CHRISTMAS TREE RECYCLING SITES Bromley councel provide a free Christmas tree recycling service for all our residents at temporary sites around the borough. Temporary recycling centres for Christmas trees and green garden waste are ope n:

Saturday 9 January 2021: 11am

to 4pm

• Bromley, Norman Park (Hook Farm Road entrance off Bromley Common, A21) • Green Street Green, Salt Depot (Shire Lane 'spur', off Sevenoaks Road) • St Paul's Cray, Cotmandene Cres cent car park (off Chipperfield Road)

Sunday 10 January 2021: 8am

to 12n

oon • Beckenham, Unicorn Primary Scho ol (Creswell Drive off South Eden Park Road) • Biggin Hill, Charles Darwin Scho ol (Jail Lane) Christmas trees must not have soil, pots or decorations attached.

You can also bring along other gree n garden waste with your Christmas tree. Christmas trees and green garden waste must not be left outside operating time s. Sites will be closely monitored and all fly-tippers will be prosecuted. Christmas trees can also be recycled at Waldo Roa d and Churchfields Road reuse and recycling centres (clos ed on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year's Day) - plea se bring your waste disposal permit. Residents who are mem bers of our green garden waste wheelie bin collection service can use this service to recycle their real Christmas trees. Trees mus t be put in the bins for recycling and broken down if necessar y.

10 Life in... Orpington January 2021

Hannah Gray, The Mayor of Bromley, Cllr Chandra te tula gra con to in ped pop ources on Res ce Offi Sharma of Tangent recently. ry rsa ive ann h 15t y's the compan grown has ss ine The award-winning bus ting prin and ery tion sta from offering all for hop p-s produc ts into a one -sto ed alis son per ing lud inc s office supplie workwear and furniture.

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MAYOR’S VOICE…

community news - NOTICEBOARD

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all! The last 12 months have been unpredictable to say the least, but as we start 2021 with new hope of returning to life pre-Covid, let’s aim to focus on a brighter future and continue to support each other. In some ways Covid brought us closer together, so it would be nice to take that as a silver lining as we step into 2021.

What would also be nice is to continue to demonstrate the community spirit that we’ve become accustomed to in the last six months; it’s been wonderful to see local people supporting one another in times of need. And this extends to supporting your local businesses, who have been amongst the hardest hit with the various lockdowns. As we go into 2021, please continue to support local sole traders, small businesses and your High Streets where possible.

While we’re on the subject of High Streets, I’ve been doing more walkabouts lately, encouraging shop owners and congratulating them on getting through the last 12 months. And last month I enjoyed attending a range of festive events, both in person and virtually.

They included a morning joining Croydon High School and St Peter and St Paul’s Catholic School online.

They recited a poem and sang a song and pupils produced some amazing poppy artwork, where I had the very difficult task of choosing a winner.

I joined a Christmas Christingle Service at St John’s Church, a virtual event to see the lighting up of Trafalgar Square Christmas tree, made numerous Christmas message videos and I switched on the Farnborough Village Christmas lights, which all put me in the festive spirit early in December.

So much so, that I had some personal Christmas cards designed to send out this year.

In other news, I enjoyed a Murder Mystery evening organised by the Chartwell Cancer Trust to raise much needed funds. It was a funny and entertaining virtual evening and brilliantly acted by the Play Dead London players. I’ve enjoyed joining other Mayors to help with their fund-raising events including quiz nights and a chocolate tasting event with the Mayor of Croydon.

I also enjoyed marking Thomas Gee’s 100th birthday by joining him online for his birthday party, plus I attended an online Careplus event; the organisation offers a free volunteer support service to over 65s in the borough.

If you are able to volunteer your help please visit their website at www.careplusbromley.org.uk Helen Manchip from BR6Life interviewed me for a blog post on the Mayoralty – you can find it online at br6life.com/local-events/interview-with-themayor-of-bromley/ and I had great pleasure in visiting Magic of Foresters and actually cut my own Christmas tree! They organically grow an impressive variety of trees.

Finally, it was exciting to visit the toy event which was held in partnership by The West Kent Masons, The Widows Sons Masonic Bikers Association (West Kent) and The Bromley Children Families Volunteer Sector. This event usually has 40 Masons on great big Harley Davidsons all dressed as Santa roaring through Bromley to deliver the presents. However, this year the Children Charities collected the toys for disadvantaged families – it’s such a wonderful idea and I even got to sit on a Harley Davidson.

Looking ahead for this year, my hopes are that I’ll be able to arrange a Spring Ball to raise money for both Cystic Fibrosis Supporters and The Chartwell Cancer Trust, and it’s still on my wish list to be able to offer a fireworks event – I’m keeping everything crossed.

I’d like to wish you all a healthy, happy and prosperous 2021 – where we can put Covid memories behind us once and for all – and focus on enjoying life to the fullest once again.

Cllr Hannah Gray

Mayor of Bromley 2020-21

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January 2021 Life in... Orpington 11

what's on - JANUARY 2021

Your essential what's on guide for events, activities, clubs and much more in and around Orpington.

There's something for everyone!

community & charity

We’re looking to hear about your news, notices and local events!

Email us at hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk

Bereavement Café

Message the Facebook page for a call back

Cost: Free Contact: www.facebook.com/bereavementcafe If you're struggling with the loss of a loved one, contact The Bereavement Cafe to talk with qualified bereavement counsellors. All are welcome.

Bromley Mencap Services

Contact: 020 8466 0790 Helpline open Monday - Friday, 9am-5pm Email support: enquiries@bromleymencap/org www.bromleymencap.org.uk Call for advice and a friendly voice. We understand many disabled people and their families may be feeling anxious and worried during these difficult times. Please phone our helpline should you require any support or need advice during the coronavirus pandemic.

Bromley Well

Monday - Saturday, 9am-5pm Contact: 0300 330 9039 Email: spa@bromleywell.org.uk www.bromleywell.org.uk Bromley Well provides help for you to stay emotionally and physically well and to remain independent. Bromley Well are running the following workshops which are free but you need to be registered as a Bromley Well service user. See website for details.

Tuesday 12th, 19th and Monday 25th January Carers Peer Support Group Tuesday 12th, 19th and 26th January Mindfulness for Carers: Workshop for Carers Wednesday 13th and 27th January Adult Carers Energy Saving workshop

Thinking of moving?

Wednesday 13th, 20th and 27th January Coffee Zoom Afternoon for Carers of People with Poor Mental Health Thursday 14th, 21st and 28th January Coping with Life

Forget-Me-Not Survivors Of Suicide Loss

Meet the first Thursday of every month

7.45pm - 9.45pm Cost: Free Contact: Sandra - 07519 105354 Email: sosl.orpington@gmail.com www.survivorsofsuicideloss.org.uk Twitter: @ForgetMeNotSoSl Forget-Me-Not offers support for all those affected by suicide loss. The group is self-led and informal, where you can connect with other survivors.

Knitting Club for the Intensive Care Baby Unit at the PRUH Every Wednesday

1pm - 3pm 100 Crofton Lane, Orpington, BR5 1HD Contact: Lin Harewood 01689 877010 Email cbcoffice@virginmedia.com Come and spin a yarn while you knit and natter for a worthy cause - knitting for the Intensive Care Baby Unit at Princess Royal University Hospital (PRUH), Orpington.

Why not take advantage of our January 2021 offer!

For new instructions in January 2021 • • • • • •

Thanks to Christian Stahl @unsplash.com

12 Life in... Orpington January 2021

Free Photography Free EPC Free Premium Listing on Right Move Social Media Adverts Accompanied Viewings MyMove Portal for Regular Updates

Please mention LifeinMags 01689 872 926 or email: orpington@your-move.co.uk

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what's on - JANUARY 2021 Anyone welcome - you don’t have to be an experienced knitter. No need 2-aPly just come and make friends! The knitting club will continue until Government’s regulations on COVID-19 change in this connection – at the moment only six people maximum can attend at any one time therefore please contact Lin prior to joining.

St Christopher's Hospice Relaxation group Every Monday and Thursday

2pm - 3pm Onllne Cost: Free Contact: www.stchristophers.org.uk/event/relaxationgroup/ Join us to check in to see how we’re all doing and take some time for yourself to truly relax. Facilitated by one of our Complementary Therapists, these relaxation classes are free and are open to everyone. All our online sessions are free to join. If you are able to, please consider a small donation to our emergency appeal.

mARKETS Chislehurst Farmers Market 3rd Sunday of the month

10am - 2pm Hornbrook House Car Park, High Street, Chislehurst BR7 5AB Contact: www.myfarmersmarket.co.uk/chislehurst/ A one-way system is now in place at the farmers market along with social distancing measures and hand sanitising station. Card payment for items is encouraged, along with ordering in advance to collect at the market.

The market will be open subject to the ever changing COVID restrictions.

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Orpington Market

Open Tuesday, Friday & Saturday

9am - 3pm Market Place, Orpington BR6 0TW Contact: 01689 832923 Email: info@orpingtonmarket.co.uk www.orpingtonmarket.co.uk A weekly market in the heart of Orpington (next to the Walnuts Shopping Centre) bringing together fresh produce, fashion, homeware & crafts. Stalls will be adhering to the 2m distancing rules. Please queue responsibly.

Bromley Charter Market

Open Thursday, Friday & Saturday

9am - 5pm Bromley High Street Contact: https://tinyurl.com/bromleymarket A historic Charter Market, at the heart of the community for over 800 years, brings its own unique and vibrant atmosphere to Bromley’s town centre. Find an assortment of traditional, modern, speciality and staple goods, beautiful gifts, quality produce and delicious food. Be tempted by tasty food, discover jewellery, crafts, vinyl records and sepia photographs; buy everyday favourites of fresh bread, cakes, meat and vegetables.

Crystal Palace Park Market Open every Sunday

10am - 3pm Located in the middle of the park near the visitor centre and Thicket Road Car Park Contact: www.crystalpalaceparkmarket.com A weekly market selling everything from seasonal fruit and veg, organic farm butchers, fresh fish, bread, cakes and biscuits to cheeses, natural wines and craft beers.

January 2021 Life in... Orpington 13

what's on - JANUARY 2021 libraries Orpington Library

Contact: 01689 831551 Email: Orpington.library@gll.org www.bromley.gov.uk/orpingtonlibrary Open Monday - Saturday from 10am - 5pm

Petts Wood Library

Contact: 01689 821607 Email: Pettswood.library@gll.org www.better.org.uk/library/london/bromley Open Monday - Tuesday and Thursday - Saturday from 10am - 5pm

SOUTHBOROUGH Library

Contact: 020 8467 0355 www.better.org.uk/library/london/bromley/ southborough-library Open Monday - Tuesday and Friday - Saturday from 10am - 1pm and 2pm - 5pm Please check websites for the latest library updates and opening times.

sports & nature Flin's Online & Live Group Fitness Classes See website for class dates and times

Cost: PAYG from £4 - £7 Contact Fran: 07976 412027 www.flinsfitness.co.uk Online streaming plus live offerings - 50 classes a week for adults and children, starting at 6.30am right through the day and over the weekend. Classes include: HIIT, Body Conditioning, Cardio, Strength, Pilates, Yoga, Teens, Zumba, Low Impact Fitness & much more!

Parks and Open Spaces Downloads

A selection of trail leaflets around nature reserves in Bromley can be downloaded here: www.bromley.gov.uk/ downloads/200073/parks_and_open_spaces

Heritage walking trails in the Bromley area

Contact: https://tinyurl.com/bromwalks Bromley council has put together some illustrated leaflets showing walks around historic and interesting places in the Bromley area.

THE NEXT COPY DEADLINE IS:

shout about your event...

12TH JANUARY

Contact Nicky or Lauretta on 07403 603569 or 07403 550068 hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk lifeinmagazines.co.uk

A listing costs just £15. We aim to list school, church, charity, community service or non-profit events for free (space dependent), or we offer a 20% discount for a guaranteed listing.

Life In Orpington cannot be held responsible for any changes or cancellations of an event. We recommend you double check times, places & dates if attending an event listed.

@lifeinmags

LOCAL ROOFER ALL ASPECTS OF ROOFING CARRIED OUT

ONLINE AND GROUPS #FITNESSFORALL 07976 412027 www.flinsfitness.co.uk 14 Life in... Orpington January 2021

• Free estimates • No job too small • All new work guaranteed

T: 01689 471001 M: 07956 516899 E: bernardcoleroofing@gmail.com

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Business

lifestyle

7 ways to get more done!

1. Make a plan Start by writing down exactly what you want to get achieved and then break down each big job into smaller tasks so that they don’t overwhelm you.

Don’t be over ambitious though; take into account the time it takes to make meals, work from home, eat etc… and make sure the tasks are realistic enough to be achievable.

2. Prioritise When writing down your list, make a note of the most pressing thing that you need to do and then work backwards - you’ll focus on what’s important.

Always try and do the tasks you least like to do first thing in the morning – it will motivate you to complete the easier tasks once you’ve done them.

3. Set timers The pressure of time can be fantastic. It’s amazing what we can achieve and how quickly when we’ve got the pressure of time on our hands. You can use your phone to set a time or use a sand timer – whatever works! Parkinson’s Law says that whatever amount of time you give yourself to do something is the amount of time is what it will take to get it done. If you give yourself 3 weeks to get something done, it will probably take 3 weeks. If you gave yourself 3 days, you’d make different choices and get it done.

4. Batching Batch work will allow you to save so much time in the long run. If you’re cooking, double the ingredients and make a second lot that you can freeze

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and have another day. If you’re working on a blog post and are in full flow, go and write up a second and third one. Same catching up on emails, social media planning etc ,…you name it, batch working actually works and saves as much as 40% of your time.

5. The one-touch policy One of the biggest sappers of time can be admin – banking, school reports, bills, notices etc..they all need opening and dealing with. When you have 10 minutes to spare, adopt a ‘one-touch’ policy for anything you touch on your desk or from the letterbox.

If you leave them on your desk to deal with ‘one day’ they’ll just get pushed around and not made a priority.

6. Cut down on the TV Yes, you want to catch up on Netflix in the evening, I get that. And you should. But mindlessly flicking from channel to channel wondering what to watch and only then ending up watching something with half interest isn’t the way to go. Only watch what you really want to watch. If you try to work while you’re watching TV, you’ll achieve very little – and will probably fail to keep up with the storyline; the key word here being focus.

7. Have intention Never sit down without knowing what you’re going to work on. Without intention, you end up mindlessly checking emails, making a coffee, having a snack, sticking the washing on – and never really achieving one of your priorities.

A round of applause to….

Chandra Sharma!

January 2021 Life in... Orpington 15

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Down 1. Except in Leap years, January always begins on the same day as this month (7)

14

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crossEvery month we’re giving away a

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BY 12TH JANUARY

CRAYFORD

PETTS WOOD

SEVENOAKS

SIDCUP

Accounts

advertorial

VAT Deferral New Payment Scheme and changes to MTD

The Coronavirus pandemic resulted in many VAT businesses deferring their VAT liabilities until 31 March 2021 for VAT due between 20 March 2020 and 30 June 2020. The Government have announced that for any business that is struggling to repay this liability by 31 March 2021 they have the option to make smaller payments up until the end of March 2022, interest-free through the VAT Deferral New Payment Scheme.

•

To be eligible for the scheme:

Businesses may face a penalty as well as being charged interest on any tax due if they do not meet their VAT obligations.

• A business will need to ‘opt in’ and set up their direct debit by the end of February 2021;

The direct debit must be set up by the authorised bank account holder and not by your agent. HMRC will also need a valid and current email address to comply with UK banking regulations.

The Government have also announced that any business who can pay their outstanding VAT by 31 March 2021 should do so.

If a business needs more help to pay their VAT, they may be eligible to get support with their tax affairs through HMRC’s Time to Pay (TTP) service.

Changes to MTD If your taxable turnover is above £85,000 and you have not yet signed up to MTD (Making Tax Digital) then you should have received reminders from HMRC and a final reminder letter was sent in September. HMRC may charge penalties if you do not start using MTD before your next VAT deadline.

Important dates coming up and in the future:

• For your first VAT period after 1 April 2021 it will be compulsory to maintain digital records for your VAT return submissions. Accounting software

such as Sage, Xero, Quickbooks, Freeagent etc are MTD compliant and satisfy the digital link requirement. Bridging software for spreadsheets are also MTD and digital link compliant.

• From April 2022 all remaining VAT businesses with taxable turnover below £85,000 will be required to sign up to MTD. MTD will be extended to income tax for business or property sources above £10,000 from April 2023.

MTD for corporation tax is expected but not before 2026. More details on these topics will follow once guidance from HMRC is available.

If you require any assistance regarding the information mentioned in this article, please contact your local Perrys office.

Orpington

01689 823175 Tunbridge Wells

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01732 870032

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January 2021 Life in... Orpington 17

lifestyle

Ask The Experts

Q: Are metal braces the only way to straighten the teeth?

A:

No. There are different ways to straighten your teeth. One option is to have braces.

Braces can be metal, or tooth coloured, and, in some cases, they can be placed behind your teeth if you would like to have this to be discreet. This option is generally performed by an orthodontist who is a dentist specialized in orthodontics. The other option is to wear clear aligners like Invisalign which uses a series of almost invisible clear aligners to straighten your teeth. You are given a series of custom-made aligners to move your teeth in the sequence determined by your doctor. Each aligner in this series works individually, making slight adjustments to tooth position. Another option is to have some restorative dental work such as composite bonding or veneers which may require removal of some tooth structure.

Dr Mac, The DenCare Clinic & Travel Vaccinations, Locksbottom In partnership with Life In Magazines, and to celebrate its newly renovated state-of-the-art Dental & Travel Vaccination clinic, The DenCare Clinic (419 Crofton Rd, Locksbottom) is currently running a promotional offer on free Invisalign consultations including an iTero smile simulation worth £120 throughout January. Call 01689 862416 to book a free consultation and get your perfect smile!

Limited spaces available.

Q: Do I have to use social media for my business?

A:

There is no one way to promote your business, and there is always a risk of doing something because everyone else is, without considering why it is going to work for you. You have to factor in how much time you are willing to invest in social media management, how you are going to use it for your business (for example, as a shopfront for your business or as a way of making your brand visible) and whether you would be talking to the right audience. Knowing your business plan/strategy can help you place social media in the most effective places of your business – or give you the confidence to not use it and not feel like you will be missing out.

Q: What is the role of a life celebrant at a funeral?

Lee Lam, The UK’s Startup Partner

Q: What property checks should I make before a really cold spell?

A:

First and foremost, make sure the property is wind and watertight. Check for missing

tiles or flashing on the roof; cracks in brickwork, mortar or render; loose or broken guttering; cracked or broken window panes; degraded door and window seals; and damaged door and window frames. It might be worth getting a maintenance contractor to clear debris from guttering and drains and also check that any fencing is in good order and well secured. Internally, make sure the heating is working well. Have the radiators bled and check that the boiler and thermostats are all working properly. If in doubt, have a plumber check that the pipework is in good order and properly insulated and make sure the electrics are in good order. It’s a good idea to have an annual PAT test to make sure all your electrical appliances are safe.

Philip O'Neil, Your Move Orpington

18 Life in... Orpington January 2021

A:

When it comes to having the sad task of arranging a loved one’s funeral, you’ll be given the option by your funeral director of who you want to officiate the service for you. Over the last 20 years or so there has been a sharp increase in celebrant-led funerals taking place. The best way to explain the celebrant-led funeral is to have it your way. A good celebrant will gently guide you, creating a bespoke, personalised ceremony and is also able to offer either religious or nonreligious content, depending on the client’s and the deceased’s wishes.

Funeral services have become more of a reflection of someone’s life rather than a religious ceremony and a ‘saying goodbye’, so do what feels right for you.

Michelle Harvey Life Celebrant

lifeinmagazines.co.uk

FINANCIAL ADVICE MADE PERSONAL

We recognise that talking about money and finances is personal.

So it is reassuring to know that there’s someone on hand who can help you address your needs.

Please do get in touch for a chat regarding: • Retirement and pension planning • Investment planning • Mortgages • Protection planning - life cover, critical illness cover, income protection Your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage.

Rebecca McGinty rebecca.mcginty@sjpp.co.uk 07900 902347

www.mcgintywealthmanagement.co.uk Rebecca McGinty is an Appointed Representative of and represents only St. James’s Place Wealth Management plc (which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority) for the purpose of advising solely on the Group’s wealth management products and services, more details of which are set out on the Group’s website www.sjp.co.uk/products. The `St. James’s Place Partnership’ and the title `Partner’ are marketing terms used to describe St. James’s Place representatives.

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January 2021 Life in... Orpington 19

My name is Michelle, and I am passionate about what I do.

I work locally as a Celebrant, in and around Orpington. Having been an Orpington resident for most of my life, I feel it is important to work closely with the community that I live in, and as a result of that, I have also co-founded The Bereavement Café in Orpington.

So, my role as a Celebrant is to work with families who have lost a loved one and help them create a unique and fitting ceremony, to help them say goodbye.

But I have also introduced something called, “Remember Me” and that is to help people document their wishes before they die. This is a really simple way of instructing your loved ones with what you want, when that time comes. We can discuss everything from music choices, your life story, colours, themes, and have it all recorded safely, so that when the time comes your family members aren’t left scratching their heads trying to work out what you would have wanted.

If you have any questions about anything please do not hesitate to contact me at michelleharvey.lifecelebrant@yahoo.com

SUPPORTING FAMILIES THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES

Neuter your Cat for £5

Do you live in our Bromley area (BR1 - 5 or SE20, SE23 & SE26) and would like some help to get your cat neutered? We are offering you the chance to have your cat neutered for just £5.

For more information please contact Bromley Cats Protection on :

020 8650 5556 www.cats.org.uk/bromley/contact-us

Reg Charity 203644 (England and Wales) SC037711 (Scotland) NEU_2343

20 Life in... Orpington January 2021

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Did you know…

lifestyle

Good neighbours, good friends

Relationships with our neighbours have truly been put to the test during the pandemic as a recent survey commissioned by Share To Buy revealed a whopping 65% of Brits who own a home are closer to their neighbours more than ever before post lockdown. Having surveyed around 1,150 people across the UK, 56% of Brits have spent time getting to know next-door a little better thanks to an increased sense of solidarity from clapping for carers every Thursday to lending a helping hand with tasks during the outbreak.

Hilarious tax return excuses!

HMRC has released its round up of the most ridiculous tax return excuses and failed expense claims from the last decade. Here are some of our faves…

• I was up a mountain in Wales, and couldn’t find a post box or get an internet signal • Claiming £4.50 for sausage and chips meal expenses for 250 days • My hamster ate my post • I’ve been cruising around the world in my yacht, and only picking up post when I’m on dry land • A music subscription so I can listen to music while I work • Pet food for a Shih Tzu ‘guard dog’ • My mother-in-law is a witch and put a curse on me

With the Highway Code set to be updated in a bid to improve road safety for cyclists, pedestrians and horse riders, there’s concern that the new proposals will cause an increase in conflict and confusion on the roads. With this in mind, USwitch quizzed 1,297 Brits on the existing rules for pedestrian, cyclist, and equestrian crossings to find out how much they know about road safety.

• 80% of drivers said they don’t know when to stop for pedestrians at a Zebra crossing • Whilst drivers aren’t legally required to stop for pedestrians approaching a zebra crossing, 81% think this is written in the Highway Code.

• 58% of drivers admitted they are hesitant about stopping for pedestrians who are lingering nearby.

lifeinmagazines.co.uk

Buy on card When buying online for items over £100, pay for it on a credit card rather than PayPal. Section 75 of the Consumer Credit Act 1974 says if you pay for something costing between £100 and £30,000, on a credit card, the card company is jointly liable with the retailer. So if anything goes wrong - the item is faulty, doesn’t turn up or is broken, the credit card firm is obliged to sort this out.

•

•

•

Despite the name toucan being chosen to indicate that two can cross together, a quarter of Brits don’t think pedestrians are allowed to use toucan crossings.

75% also think cyclists have to dismount from their bike to cross at a Toucan Crossing, however, unlike other crossings, they do not.

39% of Brits admitted they don’t know what a Pegasus crossing is (they are designed for pedestrians and horse riders to cross the road safely together), with one in three failing to correctly identify who is permitted to use them.

January 2021 Life in... Orpington 21

lifestyle

Eco

S&G Buffalo Cauliflower wings

How to live more sustainably

by Louise Palmer Masterton, Stem & Glory David Attenborough’s new film ‘A Life on our Planet’ contains compelling statistics that define the devastating problems we face if we do not stop destroying our planet. However, Attenborough does lay out steps we need to take in order to quickly redress the balance: 1. Using less land in smarter ways.

2. Stop eating meat.

3. Increase access to education for all, for population control.

4. Rewilding.

5. Use renewable energy.

6. Stop waste.

You might think that most of this list is beyond the influence of an individual, but we can all instigate actions that make a difference by making more ethical choices.

Rewilding: Seek out products that are making a direct impact by rewilding.

More Plant-based Meals: The fact that 65% of all the mammals on this planet are farm animals, means their devastating carbon impact and land use cannot be overstated. Now’s the time to explore plant-based options.

Using Renewable Energy: We can all make an impact by simply moving to renewable-only energy sources in our homes.

Land Use: In Amsterdam there are some superexciting projects with vertical and urban farms.

S&G Pulled Mushroom 'Duck' Pancakes

S&G Raw mango 'cheese'cake.

The Netherlands are a big exporter of vegetables because of this.

Waste. Probably the biggest issue of all.

Food Waste: More than one third of all food produced across the globe is wasted. In medium and high-income countries, we’re simply buying it and not eating it. Much of this food waste could be avoided if managed better.

Packaging Waste: There’s a huge amount of misinformation out there on this subject. I recently watched Our Planet, Our Business and one of the experts said, ‘there is no such thing as waste, it’s just a commodity in the wrong place at the wrong time’.

Probably the best way to tackle climate change is never underestimate the contribution that an individual or a single business can play.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Louise Palmer-Masterton is founder of multiple awardwinning restaurants Stem & Glory; hip and trendy but accessible plant-based restaurants, serving delicious gourmet vegan food from locally sourced ingredients, 100% made on site. Stem & Glory also offers click-and-collect and local delivery in London and Cambridge. www.stemandglory.uk

Everyone needs a cuddle Nimble has launched, Cuddle Lover, a plant-based fabric softener for the eco-concious shopper. It is allergen-free and contains absolutely NO nasties like fragrances and dyes – truly a must-have for those with sensitive skin. Utilising the natural softening power of rapeseed, and other naturally derived ingredients, Cuddle Lover leaves clothes super soft and feeling like new – who doesn’t love that feeling?!

With up to 70 washes from one bottle (costing £4.99), it’s kind to your pocket as well as your skin! www.nimblebabies.com

22 Life in... Orpington January 2021

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Want to join a friendly network group which actually works for you and doesn’t cost a fortune?

WANT TO KNOW MORE?

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January 2021 Life in... Orpington 23

24 Life in... Orpington January 2021

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Life hacks

lifestyle

How to keep your NY Resolutions!

•

•

•

•

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Keep your statements positive, such as ‘I will do exercise’ rather than ‘I will give up chocolate’.

Make your resolutions manageable and not overwhelmingly difficult. Choose new ones that are different to those you tried before – mix it up.

Record your successes somewhere you will see them and keep ticking them off as you achieve them. Keep a daily or weekly list of successes.

Buddy with someone to keep your resolutions so you are accountable to a friend. Make a list together and then you can help them by holding them accountable for their list too.

Get the tools in that you need, such as supplements, blender and plan ahead to help you succeed.

•

•

Turn off the news and do something else to reduce feeling fear and anxiety about the things that are going on out there. For example do a hobby you enjoy, exercise or go for a nature walk.

Write down the benefits of achieving your New Year Resolutions and why you want to do these things.

Make a time frame for how long you will do it. Habits get formed in around 21 days of making them routine.

If you do something repeatedly for around this number of days, it forms a new habit. If you stumble, dust yourself down and get back to it. Don’t let a wobble stop you from keeping on with your goals.

Susie Pearl, The Art of Creativity

Argument mastery!

by JO CONRAD, Relate Counsellor

With ‘Divorce Day’ falling on Monday 4th this month, relationship expert, Jo Conrad, offers her advice on dealing with arguments...

It is possible to mitigate arguments so they become more constructive and less destructive. Like all aspects of a relationship, arguments or discussing issues require good clear communication:

• Don’t bottle things up – this can cause you to overstate an issue

in your mind, become resentful as issues begin to build up and the relationship issues can then seem overwhelming and insurmountable.

Raise issues as they arise and deal with them as you go along.

• Be careful of the words you use: Don’t say ‘you do..’ ‘you

don’t…’ or ‘you always…’ The ‘you’ is accusatory and your partner will become defensive. Instead use ‘I’ statements…’ ‘I felt x when y happens’ it will be easier for your partner to accept and shows you’re taking responsibility for your own feelings.

• Watch out for body language and tone of voice – if you’re

rolling your eyes with your arms crossed, your partner may not wish to continue the conversation at best…at worst it could escalate in to an argument. Similarly, if your tone is abrupt or aggressive it will have a similar effect.

• Take a ‘time out’ if necessary. Once the heart rate rises the

creative part of our brains shuts down, so at a point of high emotion conversation can become pointless. Try and agree with your partner to take 10 minutes break, take a deep breath, calm down and try the conversation again.

• Be mindful about what you’re saying… if you can catch

yourself before speaking, think about whether what you’re saying is helpful to the situation or for your relationship and if it’s kind. If not, try not to say it.

“Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.”

TURN BLUE MONDAY TO

OOH MONDAY! The third Monday of January is typically known as ‘Blue Monday’ – supposedly one of the most depressing days of the year. Given the past 12 months we’ve been through, there’s good reason to turn your attention to your mental health this month. So here’s some ideas to take your mind off feeling blue – and boost your productivity too.

• Don’t skip meals today – make sure you eat and keep hydrated.

• Aim to do at least 20 minutes of exercise if you can. Even if it’s a walk around the block.

• Stay off social media altogether.

• Call a friend for a chat or better still, grab a cuppa together.

• Plan what you’ll be doing at the weekend & give yourself something to look forward to.

• Take time out to read for pure escapism – or watch a film, preferably a comedy!

• Indulge in some self-care & pampering.

Khalil Gibran

lifeinmagazines.co.uk

January 2021 Life in... Orpington 25

lifestyle

Health & Beauty

Winterproof your mood

With ‘Blue Monday’ on the horizon (18th January) and the short winter days affecting people’s moods, we take a look at how to prepare for dismal days ahead…

A helping hand

We keep hearing that vitamin D has been linked to Covid-19 immunity, but upping your vitamins in winter is a good idea.

Vitamin D can also help with symptoms of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and mild depression, while vitamin B is known to play a role in. producing mood-boosting brain chemicals.

Get outside

Whether it’s walking the dog in the woods or hooking up with friends for a mini jog around the park, exercise is one of the best natural anti-depressants, releasing serotonin and endorphins that help lift your mood.

Have a laugh

Laughing decreases stress, boosts our energy and releases those feel-good endorphins. It also improves immunity.

What a great reason to chill out on the sofa watching reruns of Taskmaster!

How does homeopathy work?

See the light

Invest in a light box! The bulbs give off the same quality of light as the sun, and using it daily for between 30-60 minutes can help relieve SAD symptoms.

Choose green

There are so many types of tea to choose from – from immune-boosting tea to those designed to calm and relax. Green tea is a great mood booster, but if it’s a little bitter try Jasmine Green Tea instead. Equally, some foods such as bananas, tomatoes, walnuts and kiwis help boost production of the happy hormone (Serotin), so snack away!

Write It Down

Sometimes making lists, ticking things off and keeping a diary are great at helping with anxiety levels and putting things in perspective. Learn to prioritise and when to let things go – especially things you cannot control.

3 fab podcasts

Ted Talks: Health

Homeopathy is a holistic, alternative medicine system.

But how does it work?

The main principle of homeopathy is ‘Like cures like’. So, we use something that causes a fever, to treat a fever. For example, Belladonna is a poisonous plant. If some berries are ingested, you will have a flushed face, dilated pupils and a fever. Each remedy is super-diluted so no original molecules of the substance are left! Homeopathy is an energy medicine, like acupuncture. The dose makes the poison! The remedy stimulates and supports the body’s own healing processes, gently and safely.

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

NHS Couch to 5K

Neela Prabhu, Homeopathic Harmony

26 Life in... Orpington January 2021

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Special needs children

Nursery for children with special needs

ears Aged 2-5 y

Bubbly Nursery is a fairly new nursery in the London borough of Lewisham, looking after children who are developmentally delayed or have been medically diagnosed.

Below are some testimonials from current parents: “What a fantastic place! It’s a safe haven for my child and staff are lovely, caring and kind.”

“Bubbly offers a lovely, clean environment. I love the open plan aspect and staff members are really friendly.”

“With the help of Bubbly Nursery, we were able to get an early diagnosis of ASD for our son and plan for his future.”

Visit our website to see more testimonials

Why not check our facebook page @bubblySEN or follow us on instragram @bubbly_nursery

www.bubblyspecialneedsnursery.co.uk

07954-952406

A member of Early Years Alliance and a Registered Nurse

We at Gracious Care understand difficult situations. We deal with them all the time.

Sometimes we need a little help to do even the basic things.

With the help of Gracious Care, our customers remain independent, giving their relatives peace of mind.

Call Christine on

01689 854747

for a free care assessment

www.graciouscare.co.uk lifeinmagazines.co.uk

January 2021 Life in... Orpington 27

lifestyle

Shopping

Shop the sales like a boss!

With retailers looking to shift stock ready for new season goodies, now’s a great time to go out and bag yourself a bargain. Here’s some great tips on nabbing a fab deal…

• Plan ahead: Christmas cards, wrapping paper, unsold

gifts will all be heavily reduced. If you can buy them now at heavily reduced prices and store them for next Christmas, you’re laughing! The same goes with birthday presents. Seen something a friend would like but their birthday isn’t until summer? If it can be stored and is nonperishable, why not plan ahead? If nothing else it will make you feel a little smug.

• Stick to what you know: It’s worth making a note of

your favourite brands and heading to their sale section first – chances are, you’ll like what they’ll have to offer and won’t waste hours browsing the aisles of shops you’re not familiar with.

• Get a wish-list: If there are certain items that Santa

didn’t bring you this year, make a list of them and stick to it. It’ll mean you’re less likely to make impulse buys and much easier to stick to a budget – and it’s always wise to have a budget!

• You’ve got mail! A couple of tricks to getting notified

of latest offers and bargains is to sign up for the

newsletters of your favourite shops. Another one, if you’re shopping online, is to put what you want in your basket and leave it there for 24 hours. Many shops have an automated response to items left in the basket and offer a discount code to push through sales.

• Get cashback! Sites like Top Cashback and Quidco

offer cashback just for going through their websites first if you’re shopping online.

• Use codes! If you see a website offering a place to

enter a voucher code at the checkout - chances are that you’ll find one (start with vouchercodes.co.uk).

• Support local: Last but not least, aim to support local

shops where possible. As independents, they’re in charge of when and how to present offers, so you’re more likely to get a great deal – and keep money in the local economy too – a win-win!

• Be mindful! Finally, remember that sales shopping only

counts is it’s something you would have bought anyway.

Happy bargain hunting!

Did someone say cookies?

Cookie Dough brand, Doughlicious, has launched two exclusive new flavours into Marks & Spencer. Dark Chocolate & Salted Caramel and Vegan Double Chocolate, are ideal for time poor cooks who want a delicious, freshly baked cookie that can be ready in just 14 minutes – nice for when friends pop in for a chat! There are no GMOs or added refined sugars and each pack makes six cookies with an RRP of £3. See www.doughlicious.co.uk

REUSE IT! Put a SHO Reusable bottle on your wish-list this month.

Starting at £19.99 for a 500ml bottle or coffee cup, they can also be engraved with a name or message to make them extra special. This one, designed by Klara Hawkins, is available from www.shoreusable.com

Dry January?

Try the zero-alcohol beers from St Peter’s Brewery which are ideal for beer lovers who are trying to cut down or give up alcohol. Brewed just like a normal beer but without the alcohol (and 25% fewer calories), St Peter’s Without offers a choice of Without Original, Without Gold or Without Elderberry & Raspberry depending on your tastes. The RRP is £1.49 for a 500ml bottle and are available from Tesco, Morrisons and The Co-op.

28 Life in... Orpington January 2021

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CLASSIFIED LISTINGS CHILDREN'S CLUBS AND ACTIVITIES

HOME & GARDEN

AQUAKIDS

KNIGHT JET WASH & PROPERTY MAINTENANCE

What better gift for 2021 than learning to swim, being safe and enjoying the water. www.aquakids.co.uk Facebook@aquakidsuk Twitter @Aquakidsuk Instagram @aquakids.uk

Jet washing, property maintenance, bird proofing, gutter repairs & window cleaning.

Call 07535-615433 or email Knightjetwashing@gmail.com Facebook.com/knightjetwashing

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I specialise in making your business looks its best with creative graphic design - offering a personalised, professional and cost effective service.

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LUNA CREATIVE MEDIA Would you like to produce a video for your business to share on your website or social media? Whether it’s a new product launch, an explainer lesson or an introductory video, we’ve got you covered.

Call 07978-260775 Facebook.com/WeAreLunaUK

To submit a classified listing please call 07403 603569 or email hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk

Prices start from just £10 per month

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Cakes, Coffee and Cycles

GET YOUR BIKE SUMMER READY WITH

10% OFF SERVICING We have everything from your little person’s first balance bike to custom builds and everything in-between.

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January 2021 Life in... Orpington 29

Next month...

stockists

FR

MUNITY BECAUSE COM

Our usual stockists include most cafes, dental surgeries, barbers, hairdressers, doctors etc in and around Orpington. Below are some of our main stockists (please note, during the pandemic we may not be able to leave the magazine with all our usual stockists).

Biggin Hill

• Cherry Lodge Golf Club • Foal Farm • The Lookout Coffee Shop

chelsfield

• Chelsfield Railway Station

Downe

• Christmas Tree Farm • George & Dragon Pub

Farnborough & village

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A Final Thought…

lifestyle

A better birth – your way

by JERIN FUNG, Better Birth

It’s something I hear time and time again.

The more women I talk to, the more couples I teach, I hear the same phrase over and over.

“Am I allowed to...?”, “The midwife said I’m not allowed...”, “They’ve said I have to....”.

Having the confidence to speak up, advocate for yourself and make your preferences for birth heard can be difficult, and I understand why a woman would think that the decision lies in their healthcare professional. They’re the trained medics. But it’s very easy to be steered down a particular route without realising the decision lies with you.

You may have lots of other options other than the one you’re being told you need to take. You CAN say NO to anything. You can say no to an induction. You can say no to a sweep. You can say no to a vaginal exam. The list goes on. The right for a pregnant woman to make decisions on the birth of her baby is enshrined in UK law.

Under the Human Rights Act 1998, you have the right to make your own choices about the care you receive. It’s not a case of “I’m not allowed to...” and more a case of “I’m not consenting to...”.

Charity Birthrights says “Women have the right to make their own choices about how they manage their pregnancy and birth. Article 8 of the European Convention guarantees the right to private life, which the courts have interpreted to include the right to physical autonomy and integrity.

The right to autonomy means that a woman’s consent must always be sought before performing any medical procedure. Failure to obtain consent violates Article 8, and may also violate the prohibition on inhuman and degrading treatment under Article 3. Failure to provide sufficient, objective and unbiased information for a woman to make an informed choice will also violate Article 8.”

I’m not suggesting that all maternity caregivers are there to bully you in to doing what they say, or that they don’t have your best interests in mind. But it’s important to understand that hospitals have guidelines and a certain level of risk they’re willing to take, and those guidelines don’t always align with what you would choose if you knew all the facts.

The medical setting itself is counterproductive when it comes to an environment that encourages the release of birth hormones and the progression of labour.

Medicalisation and intervention in birth is likely to cascade into further intervention. So, it’s vital that with every intervention, procedure and option in birth, you’ve taken the time to do the research, educated yourself on your options and advocate for what you believe to be in the best interests for you and your baby.

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Here’s my tips on how to prepare for birth. Follow these easy steps and you’ll feel much more confident in making your wishes heard.

1. Know your stuff. The middle of labour isn’t the

time to start figuring out the pros and cons of an intervention. If you do your research and you’ve put a birth plan in place, you’re more likely to feel confident to decline or consent to a procedure because you’re making an educated and informed decision. If your choice is based on research, it makes your choice rational and based on fact. Having a birth plan on paper to refer to can also give you confidence, as well as something to remind you of what choices you made and why. Just remember that you can change your mind at any point.

2. Get support from your birth partner. If you

have a birth partner present, use them. It could be your mum, your husband, your wife or girlfriend, your best friend or your doula. Whoever it is, make sure you’ve run through your birth plan and your preferences before the birth, and allow them to advocate on your behalf so you can focus on giving birth!

3. Try asking questions such as “Can you explain

more about...”, “What are the benefits of this procedure?” or “What happens if we don’t do anything and we just wait?”. You have the right to know the facts before making any decision which impacts the health of you and your baby. Asking questions can be easier and feel less confrontational than demands or flat out refusal if you don’t feel confident in doing so straight away.

4. Practise! Role play with your birth partner,

advocating for yourself and baby in different situations.

It’ll give you the confidence to do it for real. It will also help consolidate and reinforce any knowledge you’ve gained about important aspects of your birth plan that you feel particularly strongly about.

Remember, this is the beginning of your journey to parenthood, and you are your child’s advocate from birth and beyond, so speak up if you want to know more about something or feel strongly about a procedure or option being presented. It’s YOUR choice, your body and your baby. Being prepared will go a long way to giving you the positive birth you deserve.

January 2021 Life in... Orpington 31

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