Short Story

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE HOLIDAY

by DIANA ELVIN

“Good Morning ladies and gentlemen. We have arranged a very special treat to round off your ‘Book Lover’s Tour’ today.” Outwardly enthusiastic, hiding boredom, the drivercum-guide pressed on.

“Haven’t we had a super week visiting the places where your favourite authors lived and the settings they used for their wonderful novels?” Not being a reader herself, she couldn’t see the point. Still, as long as it sold seats – and it certainly did. The holidaymakers (with the exception of Alex, dragged along by his wife) were loving it, lapping it up.

“Today we shall concentrate upon just one very special writer, the prolific, elusive Bradley Beecham. And, not only will we visit the places associated with him, but we shall actually call at his beautiful home to meet him in person.” It was the highlight of the holiday. He had never let readers near his home. Still, desperate times called for desperate measures.

“He’ll be happy to sign all those books you’ve bought from the special display at the hotel.” (Shop sales were flagging).

“Along here we come to the simple two-roomed school Beecham attended.” And so they did – well, a reasonable replica anyway, knocked up hastily on the cheap but as accurate as modern materials could manage, conveniently placed at the far side of the modern comprehensive playground to prevent too close a scrutiny.

The organisers had done their best with a writing life spanning 60 years in an environment modernised beyond recognition. They had located the furniture factory where Bradley first worked. He had made the tea and brushed up sawdust for a mere six weeks, not being much good at either brewing or brushing, but they saw no reason to mention this. From the outside the place looked, providentially, much the same, not successful enough to expand or to modernise. Then the tours began and money was paid for coaches to park and passengers to peer so a clause in the agreement naturally specified ‘no changes.’

Luck had also favoured the tour arrangers when they reached the grassy headland from where eager readers could make out the caves and beaches which had been the mainstay of a whole series. The fisherman’s cottage, now a patched up ruin, was too far out to be seen clearly but the caves looked mysterious and exciting.

Bradley Beecham, when sales fell, had been promoted, by a resourceful agent, as a kind, courteous old gent that it would be a privilege to meet. So, week after week, the fans beat a path to his door. The coach parked by the main gate, the passengers walked reverentially up the path, and the guide gave the ceremonial ‘Rat-a-tat-tat’ to be greeted by Beecham himself with a welcoming smile.

Hating every minute, he would still say all the right things (he was after all, master of the well-chosen word). Sales would be boosted, his agent, his publisher, and book shops nationwide would all benefit. Obviously, today, he didn’t hear them coming. However, it is doubtful whether he would have noticed a herd of stampeding buffalo, he was in such a rage.

“You stupid fool” he was shouting at an unseen recipient, “I can’t see to this now. I’ve got a load of gaping tourists due any minute and I have to look as though I’m pleased to see them, say a load of rubbish like how I love writing, when it’s actually ruddy hard work.”

There was a sudden appalled silence. “Dear, kind Brad” must have caught sight of the disillusioned group outside the open windows.

Then Alex laughed, not unkindly but with simple pleasure at finding this idol was human after all – and shown to be so. Alex, who never read a book, sometimes lost his temper, often found his clients hard to like and would hate to have them pouring into his house, couldn’t stop laughing. All the boredom and resentment of that long week was expelled as his body shook and he slapped his thigh.He walked forward, hand outstretched, beaming happily. After a startled gasp the other passengers followed, also smiling.

“Good morning, Mr Beecham”, he said. “Do, please, let us in because I think I am going to enjoy meeting you very much after all.”

AQUAKIDS

Aquakids - swimming lessons that last a lifetime. Intensive lessons are now full - book in advance for April 2022. Monday - Friday. Check our social media and the website for the latest updates.

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MY PARTY BOX.FUN

We provide sustainable party boxes that contain everything needed for children's parties. Our aim is to provide stress-free planning while helping you to create magical memories!

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THE SUNDAY SESSIONS: ACTING

She Soars Productions hold monthly Sunday acting workshops for children aged 12-18. Our fun full-day workshops are led by industry professionals and previous guest workshop leaders include Casting Directors and Film and Theatre Directors. Check out our socials for the latest updates and visit our website to book in advance for 2022 dates!

Email: office@shesoarsproductions.com Instagram @shesoarsprodltd Facebook @SheSoarsProductionsLtd

DESIGN & PRINT

NICKY GRANT DESIGNS

I specialise in making your business look its best with creative graphic design - offering a personalised, professional and cost-effective service.

T 07855 585690 E nickygrantdesigns@gmail.com

To submit a classified listing please call 07403 550068 or email hello@lifeinmagazines.co.uk Prices start from just £10 per month. GEO SPORTS MASSAGE

Qualified Physiotherapist and Sports Massage Therapist providing sports and pregnancy massage in the local area. Whether it is a specific injury or to alleviate general aches and pains, sports massage can benefit you.

If you are interested or would like more information, please contact via Facebook: Geo Sports Massage, Instagram: geosportsmassage or Whatsapp: 07771299123.

SUBLIME BEAUTY

Mobile service for semi-permanent eyebrows, lips, eyeliner and collagen induction therapy. I am VTCT Level 4 Qualified - the highest accreditation in Semi-Permanent Makeup (Micropigmentation). Gift vouchers also available.

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HOBBIES

THE CREATION STATION SEVENOAKS, BIGGIN HILL, HAYES AND ORPINGTON

Providing award winning inspiring and imaginative arts and crafts sessions for all ages, parties, events, activities and after school clubs. For more information and booking visit www.thecreationstation.co.uk/alix-purton or call

Alix on 07906 078840 @TCSBeckenham on social media

PETS

TOP KNOT TOYS

We make safe toys for dogs using traditional Royal Navy knotting methods and, where appropriate, the dying trade of ‘whipping & splicing’ is used. We also offer a range of accessories, household essentials & gifts including dog leads, Monkey-Fist knot toys and doorstops.

See @top_knot_toys on Instagram or email top-knot23@outlook.com