DYNAMIC WOMAN

I waited to present her. I wanted to do it sooner but was sure she’d want to wait until she had some kind of glamour shot taken and wanted to be sure I would have taken her to get that done so she would allow me to do this. I waited, trying to showcase others so no one would think I was trying to only boast about the one I call Dynamic. I waited, trying to present others first before making it personal. To everyone else (even themselves), they may seem ordinary, everyday, run of the mill women, but to us and plenty others, they are amazing, outstanding, downright Dynamic!! Some obliged and allowed me to use this platform as a means of showing appreciation and giving flowers to those now whom we appreciate. Some felt unworthy, or felt they had nothing to share and didn’t wish to be in the spotlight. All the while, waiting to shine the light on this gem, Constance Jones (nee Razor).

Scheduled to be given up for adoption, on July 3, 1953, she made her debut in this world. My grandmother fascinated me with the story of how, when she was born, my grandmother took one look at that little chocolate baby with a head full of curls and fell in love. She told the lady who was coming to get her and handle giving her up to someone (mom’s fraternal grandmother, I believe), ‘You may as well get on outta here because you ain’t getting' my baby!’ I never even wondered what, even IF my life would be had that taken place! Thanks be to God; she didn’t go through with it.

Connie

A full life lived, my mother had her share of ups and downs and good and bad times. She made it through so much; I just remember her being a pillar of strength! I remember how she was a manager at a local 7-11 Store and there being a gas war with the station across the street and gas got as low as like 89c/gallon!! I also recall a time when she balled up her fist and punched a man once for picking up my brother by the collar in a chokehold! I recall him saying “I was just kidding with the boy, Connie!” and she responded, “I said, put my son down! I don’t care if you are playing, you don’t play with my child like that!” My mouth was wide open in amazement! I saw so much strength in her! I remember after her first divorce, she had to do so much on her own One day, I came home from school, and she was in the driveway changing the oil on her car! WHAT!!?? She never ceased to amaze me! She did so much for so many people and sometimes I was offended by that and wanted to protect her! I hardly ever saw her get rest! She remarried and I graduated and moved out, started a career and got married, starting my own family. I felt she finally had some help, and she was living a life for herself! After some years, she was going through another divorce, and I could see her light dimming again. Things were weighing on her and she was back in the ‘I can do it myself’ mode.

Stroke

It was September of 1999, and she was battling with her blood pressure, life’s stresses and had been suffering from headaches off and on. This day, she attended the funeral of a coworker’s spouse and came home to try to take something to get a terrible headache to go away. Later that night, I got the call that changed our lives forever! ‘Your mom can’t move or talk. Her eyes are open but nothing else and we’ve called 911 so meet us at the hospital!’ I beat the ambulance to her house and drove behind them to the hospital. They confirmed she suffered an ‘Intracranial Hemorrhage’; bleeding on the brain and they were transporting her to another hospital for emergency brain surgery to clamp the bleed!

At the other hospital, they do the surgery and come out and the doctor wants the family to go into the ‘family room’ to talk to us! I was afraid since they wouldn’t say anything to us outside in the waiting area and refused to go in the room! I knew what they told people in the movies when they went into those rooms, so I dug my feet in and was NOT going in! I recall my aunt trying to calmly tell me that we had to go in to hear what the doctor had to say to us. I did what I only knew to do; I took a moment to go into the restroom and began to pray! This was the first time in my life I could recall giving up my will (that she lives) and asking if it’s the Lord’s will that she hasn’t made it, that He PLEASE help me and my brother, Shawn to heal and understand His decision I came out of the restroom and agreed to go in the ‘family discussion room’ There, they advise us that she is in a coma. That, IF, she makes it out of the coma, the damage from the stroke could leave her in a vegetative statenot able to speak, nor walk, no use of her limbs, no brain activity, etc. Every day, after work and feeding my daughter dinner, I went to the hospital until visiting hours ended. I sang to her, prayed with her, massaged her, gave her pedicures, aromatherapy, etc. She had many visitors and we asked to sign in and send her little notes in a memory book as they visited. After about two weeks, God opened her eyes! They moved her to a rehab facility, where they were going to try to reteach her how to walk and talk again. We were coming up on my daughter’s 7th birthday on November 14 and I was talking with her about what I should get her for her birthday. My mother was getting better with lifting her left hand and pointing so we were looking at local store ads and she pointed to a doll she smiled at! I asked if she wanted me to get her a doll baby and she shakily said ‘BABY’! I was elated!! I was in tears! God had allowed me to hear my mother’s second set of ‘First Words’. I asked her to claim her healing and in faith, pick a date on the calendar that my aunt had gotten her for her hospital room to show me when she wants God to allow her to go home! She picked Thanksgiving! I believe it was 2 days before Thanksgiving, they discharged her to go home! We were taught how to spot her with her instability due to the paralysis on her right side that she suffered from the stroke. They came to the house and installed grab bars in the shower and showed me how to transfer her to and from the bed and bath. It was my goal to try to spoil her with whatever she wanted and to take care of her bills so she wouldn’t have to worry about another thing!

Grace

Over 23 years of grace, the Lord extended to us in allowing us to see her flourishing and living her life and I am so grateful. I was working so hard to try to get a raise and promotions and make it up the corporate ladder so I could get her in a better home that didn’t have stairs she had to climb as she was getting up in age. She joked, ‘I’m almost 70 and I feel every bit of it!’ and we would just giggle! On Good Friday, April 7, 2023, the Lord called her home to a house with all the bells and whistles that even I was never going to be able to give to her. Days after her death, He revealed to me that she was His daughter, and He had all that already ready for her!

Most of this article was to shine light on this gem I got to enjoy as my mother. But to also ask that you 1) Enjoy your life and stop ‘waiting’; 2) Love those you have now; and 3) Be mindful of your body’s warning signs. Please read up on Strokes and take care of you and get help immediately! It’s a common thing in our families and we have to be wise about taking care of ourselves! *