Affinity Groups at DCD: Reminiscing on a Ten-Year Journey from One to Many

By Lynne Mayard

This year marks the tenth anniversary of Culture Club, the Lower School affinity group for children in the first through fifth grade. Since its inception, Culture Club has been predicated on being a safe, affirming place for children of color. National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS) defines children of color as belonging to one of the following racial/ ethnic groups: African American, Latino/Hispanic American, Asian American/South Asian, Native American, Middle Eastern American, and multiracial American.

It’s hard for me to believe that more than eleven years have passed since I became actively engaged in learning more about initiating an affinity group for lower school children of color. As a parent of a DCD graduate, Nicole, class of 2000, I knew firsthand what it was like to have a child who was “one of the only” in her class and “one of the few” at her school. Even though she had some good friends and did well academically at DCD, my observations of her experience at Noble and Greenough School showed me how much more she needed to be her full, authentic self.

At Nobles, she had an affinity space for African American girls (Sister to Sister). Additionally, groups such as the LGBQ Alliance, MSA (Multicultural Student Association), and Asian American Culture Club met during scheduled school blocks. These groups welcomed allies. Nicole became adept at having conversations on equity and justice. She attended several diversity conferences, including the Student Diversity Leadership Conference (SDLC), which is part of the People of Color Conference. There she saw over a thousand students, many of whom were kids of color—the most people of color she had seen together in her life. These experiences proved to be as essential as her academics in her educational journey.

As a teacher at DCD, my experience paralleled my daughter’s. When DCD hired me in 1996, I was the only full-time teacher of color and was in that position for many years. Yet, I could see how I had a special connection with many of the children of color. By 2010, DCD’s percentage of children from diverse backgrounds increased, and there was finally enough of a cohort to put together a group. Thanks to funding from DCD, I traveled to the 2010 People of Color Conference in San Diego. There I attended several workshops given by presenters from schools that had active affinity groups for younger children. I networked with colleagues from those schools, and from their experiences, crafted the proposal for our group. After getting our then Head of School Nick Thacher’s approval, I met and talked with faculty, select parents, and middle schoolers—all of whom were supportive. Our first session in October 2011 included a small number of children, who later became a strong alliance, and we credit them with coming up with the name “Culture Club.”

Starting and maintaining an affinity group is not always the easiest thing. Initially, I had to prove that our group had worth. Behind the scenes, there was definitely controversy. The term “affinity group” was not in the lexicon of the students and adults at DCD, who needed to learn that groups such as our sports teams, and even music groups such as the chamber ensemble, were all examples of affinity groups. Some parents vocalized that their children didn’t know they were “children of color,” and others were concerned that every child at DCD couldn’t attend our sessions. It took plenty of legwork to provide evidence substantiating the need for this racially-based group and educating others that children as young as three years old do see and are aware of color. It was finally time for us to acknowledge that the group’s existence would enhance its members’ experience and strengthen the larger community at DCD.

Although I was the founder and the force behind starting the group, it exists now because of so many allies who came forward during that initial year. A parent Board member spoke on our behalf and wrote letters confirming the group’s importance even as she acknowledged that her children hadn’t known they were children of color. Other families sent their children because of her recommendations, and other white Board members rallied for the group. Sue Shirley, then the Lower School head, Colleen Hultgren, Marge Farquharson, and Kathy Felcon voluntarily joined me and helped run and lead the group. Ali Fernandes was a male role model for the boys and created many videos and slideshows of photos on the website for the parents to see. Over the years, faculty including Carla Haith, Pamela Senese, Dr. Beth Conners, Michelle Tarkulich, Camille Harrison, and Becca Levi, have lent support.

The years have passed, and Culture Club is very much a fixture at DCD. Our initial group of fewer than ten students has grown to be closer to thirty. Most of the children of color in the Lower School come to our sessions at least once, if not regularly. Our younger students now are much more aware and proud of their diverse backgrounds, and by extension, open to sharing that part of who they are. Despite the restrictions created by COVID-19, the children were still excited to get together virtually, reaffirming how much they value their affinity space.

More and more of the “alumni” of Culture Club are going to the Middle School with five years’ experience of an affinity space, fully ready to bring that knowledge to the more recently developed affinity spaces and social justice groups that DCD offers middle schoolers. As one of the SEED (Seeking Educational Equity and Diversity) leaders, I am so encouraged by the large numbers of the faculty and parents who have joined SEED. We now have affinity spaces for LGBTQ+ and Parents of Color and Anti-Racist learning space. DCD’s motto, “Learning is a Way of Life,” couldn’t be more evident as I reminisce and see how Culture Club has gone from being “the only” to being one of many.

Nicole Mayard Allen ’00: Being Different and Fitting In

I distinctly recall when I realized I was different, even though my memory of the context for the situation and the exact words said have faded over time. I remember a girl in my beloved Montessori school third-grade class casually teasing me in a way that bordered on bullying. There was not any real threat for me—after all, we were only about nine years old in a family-friendly school that boasted a one-to-four student-teacher ratio—but I remember one scary moment when she had me pinned to the ground in the woods by our school and was attempting to stuff pinecones into my mouth. At that moment, something she said made me feel that the cause of her aggression was because I looked different from her.

After that experience, race became something that I had to consider.

I am grateful to have had many white friends and “allies” growing up before knowing what that term meant. But there was something special about spending time with others who, like me, were different, too. Unfortunately, my small town, and later my small private school, offered little racial and ethnic (or any other) diversity.

Growing up in Franklin, Massachusetts, I was accustomed to being the only person of color in any setting. Some say that experience must have made me resilient, confident, and prepared to thrive in a majority white culture. In some ways, that is true. I have learned to be a chameleon, blending in when necessary. But in other ways, experiencing my formative years without a strong sense of belonging to any group was a severe handicap for me.

Dedham Country Day School afforded me an excellent education, a warm environment to explore and grow, and teachers who were sincerely invested in my success. While I thrived academically in that environment, I did not have an opportunity to mature in my self-understanding.

I was a shy and immature kid lacking in self-confidence. Despite my parents’ sincere attempts to help me understand my racial identity, without peers or others outside of the home to share in that experience, I just felt like an outsider. I didn’t have the words or emotional security to rationalize my various identities. I tried, unsuccessfully, to blend in.

When I started at Noble and Greenough School, I had the opportunity to join a number of different clubs and affinity groups. I chose to participate in Sister Sister and The Asian Culture Club, groups where I felt a strong sense of belonging, despite not being Asian and not having the same experiences that some of the other black students had. I started to learn to embrace my identities, which included my blackness.

I am proud that my mom, third-grade teacher and DEI expert, Lynne Mayard, is addressing these same kinds of experiences through Culture Club and her other educational efforts. I believe that her work, and the actions of the many colleagues and parents who have supported her along the way, will make DCD a more inclusive environment for children of all ages. They will have the chance to develop the confidence and emotional maturity that I did not at their age. Undoubtedly, that will make them better equipped to take on a world that is rapidly changing in its racial and cultural identity. I look forward to following their success.

Third-grade teacher Lynne Mayard, left, with daughter Nicole Mayard Allen '00 and grandson Michael.