The Necklace A play in three acts
Adapted from the short story by Guy de Maupassant
1
Matilda Loisel
The Director
Mr. Loisel
Jan
Anne
1
Sam
Peter
2
CAST ​Narrator:____________________________________ Sister Jacqueline:______________________________ Sister Catherine:_______________________________ Young Matilda:_______________________________ Anne, a young maid:___________________________ Matilda:_____________________________________ Mr. Bird:_____________________________________ The Butler :___________________________________ Ana, a rich woman:_____________________________ Suzette, a rich woman:___________________________ Julie, a rich woman:_____________________________ Jan Forest:____________________________________ Director:______________________________________ Mayor of Paris:_________________________________ Gentleman 1:______________________________ Gentleman 2:______________________________ Gentleman 3:______________________________ Husband who loves to Nap 1:__________________________ Husband who loves to Nap 2:__________________________ Jeweller 1:______________________________ Jeweller 2:______________________________ Landlady:_______________________________ Peter, Fruit Merchant:________________________________ Sam, the Fish Merchant:______________________________ Shopper:___________________________________________ Messenger:_________________________________________
2
Act I, Scene 1 Setting:
A Convent School on the outskirts of Paris in the 1890s
(Two young ladies, about 17, wearing a black uniform with white collars, step out onto the stage. They are followed by two nuns dressed in full habit.) Young Matilda:
Oh, I cannot wait to graduate! To go out into the real world! To live a real life!
Jan:
Me neither. I hate this dreary school.
Young Matilda:
Do you know that I’ve lived in this convent since I was 7?
Jan:
And I’ve lived here since I was 12!
Young Matilda:
My family figured out it was cheaper to send me here as a charity case than to feed me.
Jan:
And my family wanted me to have a good education.
Young Matilda:
But one day soon, they’ll let us out. And then, I can do what I want.
Jan:
And I can have a house and a husband! 3
Sister Jacqueline:
Indeed? And who will you marry, Jan?
Jan:
A dashing nobleman, I hope! A Count or a Duke. That way I can become a Countess or a Duchess (she smiles).
Sister Catherine:
Do not indulge in fantasies, child. No nobleman will ever marry you.
Jan:
Why not?
Sister Jacqueline:
Because your father is a tradesman. A seller of shoes!
Young Matilda:
He may sell shoes, but Jan’s father is the richest man in town!
Sister Catherine:
But he is still just a tradesman, my dear. A commoner.
Sister Jacqueline:
A Count or Duke will never marry the daughter of a commoner.
Young Matilda:
How can you be so cruel?
Jan:
Isn’t it possible that a nobleman would fall in love with me? Couldn’t he marry me for love?
(There is a pause while the nuns exchange glances.) Sister Catherine:
No, it is not possible.
Sister Jacqueline:
The rich marry the rich.
Sister Catherine:
The poor marry the poor. 4
Sister Jacqueline:
And the nobles marry the nobles.
Sister Catherine:
End of story.
Sister Jacqueline:
And don’t start getting romantic ideas in your head about who will marry you, Matilda.
Sister Catherine:
Because your situation is worse than Jan’s.
Sister Jacqueline:
Your situation is dire.
Jan:
Matilda is the most beautiful girl in our school. Any man would love to marry her.
Sister Catherine:
Matilda may be beautiful, but alas, she is from a poor family.
Sister Jacqueline:
Worse than poor. Penniless, in fact.
Sister Catherine:
She has no dowry. Who will marry a girl without a dowry?
Sister Jacqueline:
No one, that’s who.
Sister Catherine:
Even poor families insist that the bride bring a little money with her. And Matilda has not one penny.
Sister Jacqueline:
She will be lucky if she marries at all.
Sister Catherine:
Don’t worry, Matilda. You can always work as a cleaning lady here at the convent.
5
Sister Jacqueline:
You won’t get paid anything, but it will keep a roof over your head and food in your mouth.
Sister Catherine:
You won’t have that problem, Jan. Your family has plenty of money.
Sister Jacqueline:
You will marry a rich tradesman, like your father.
Sister Catherine:
But give up those dreams of marrying a Duke, a Count or even a Baronet.
(The nuns exit.) Young Matilda:
They’re right, you know. You’ll get married to someone rich. And I---I may just end up here, for the rest of my life, never marrying anybody, never seeing the outside of this convent.
Jan:
It’s so unfair! No matter what happens, Matilda, let’s make a promise here and now that we’ll always be friends.
Young Matilda:
Even when you’re rich and I’m poor?
Jan:
No matter what. Friends forever.
(They hug.) (They exit stage left.)
6
Act I, Scene 2
Setting:
The nun’s office at the convent.
Sister Jacqueline sits behind a desk while Sister Catherine stands behind her. Mr. Bird enters and stands before them. Sister Jacqueline:
Now, Mr. Bird, what brings you here to the Convent of Flailing Spirits?
Mr. Bird:
I am a clerk in the Department of Education.
Sister Catherine:
Is there something wrong with our paperwork? Our school’s registration?
Mr. Bird:
No nothing like that, sisters. (he blushes) It’s a bit difficult to say...um….erm…..um…The thing is...what I mean to say is that….um….er
Sister Catherine:
Ah...I see…
Sister Jacqueline:
We have seen this syndrome in the past, Mr. Bird. A young man comes to our office….
Sister Catherine:
And then he cannot express what he has come here for.
Sister Jacqueline:
So we will help you because we have not got all day.
Sister Catherine:
You would like to marry one of the girls in this school.
Mr. Bird:
Yes! That’s it! 7
Sister Jacqueline:
Now all that remains is for you to tell us the name of the girl.
Mr. Bird:
That’s just it. I don’t know her name. I saw her walking to the park with her classmates from your school.
Sister Catherine:
Describe her.
Mr. Bird:
Where to begin? She’s the most beautiful girl in the world.
(Sister Catherine rings a bell and a Messenger appears.) Messenger:
Yes, sister?
Sister Catherine:
Send us Matilda.
(The messenger nods and leaves. ) Sister Jacqueline:
Yes, it’s Matilda.
Mr. Bird:
How can you be so sure its her?
Sister Catherine:
Mr. Bird, every week, we have men coming in to ask for Matilda’s hand in marriage.
Sister Jacqueline:
And they always leave, never having proposed.
Mr. Bird:
But why?
Sister Catherine:
Because she does not have a dowry.
8
Mr. Bird:
No dowry at all?
Sister Jacqueline:
Nothing. She brings no wealth or property to the marriage.
Mr. Bird:
I see.
(Matilda enters. ) Young Matilda:
You rang for me, sisters?
Sister Jacqueline:
Is this the girl you wish to marry?
Mr. Bird (he bows):
Yes...hello Mademoiselle.
Sister Catherine:
This is Mr. Bird. He has a job in the Department of Education.
(Matilda curtsies. ) Mr. Bird:
Yes, I’m the assistant to the assistant to the assistant Director. It’s a steady job, a small but steady income. I’ll never be rich, but I have great job security!
Sister Jacqueline:
You can provide a home for Matilda?
Mr. Bird:
Yes, I have already saved up enough to buy a small home and I can even afford for a maid to come in a few hours each day to help with the household chores.
Sister Catherine:
A maid! Did you hear that Matilda?
Sister Jacqueline:
Matilda has never had a maid. 9
Saint Catherine:
If Matilda does not marry, she will become a maid herself.
(The nuns laugh.) Sister Jacqueline:
What else can you tell us about yourself?
Mr. Bird:
I’m a humble man. A simple, basic person. I like to stay at home a lot. I really like taking naps. It’s sort of my passion. I live a simple life. Simple home, simple food, simple life. I like to shoot birds on weekends with my friends.
Sister Jacqueline:
You understand that Matilda has no dowry. No dowry at all.
Sister Catherine:
She will bring absolutely nothing to the marriage, except herself. She has no money whatsoever.
Mr. Bird:
Yes, I see. I see.
Sister Jacqueline:
This is usually where the young man leaves our office, disappointed.
Sister Catherine:
Shall we show you the door, Mr. Bird?
Mr. Bird:
My mother told me to insist on a dowry. Life is so hard to begin with. A dowry helps a couple to make their way in life.
Sister Catherine:
And so now you would rather not marry Matilda.
10
Sister Jacqueline:
Like all the others, this one has changed his mind, as well.
Sister Catherine:
If you’ll excuse us, then Mr. Bird, we have a convent to run. Goodday.
Mr. Bird:
Wait. (hesitates) Of course I want to marry her. If she’ll have me.
Sister Jacqueline:
Excuse me?
Mr. Bird:
I love her. I know that sounds silly because we’ve never actually met before, but the moment I saw you I fell in love.
Sister Catherine:
Young Matilda---your family has given this convent the right to dispose of you as we see fit. In our opinion, this is as good an offer as you are likely to get.
Sister Jacqueline:
It is probably the ONLY offer you are likely to get.
Sister Catherine:
Do you wish to marry this gentleman?
(Matilda says nothing. ) Mr. Bird:
I promise that I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Everything in my power.
Sister Jacqueline:
Yes or no, Matilda? We haven’t got all day.
Young Matilda (inaudibly):
Yes.
Sister Catherine:
What was that? Was that a “yes”? 11
Young Matilda (a little louder):
Yes.
Sister Jacqueline:
Then we wish you every happiness.
Sister Catherine:
Be grateful, Matilda. It’s far more than you had any reason to expect.
(Curtains close. Furniture is rearranged for the Bird sitting room .) Act 1, Scene 3 The narrator stands in front of the curtain.
Narrator:
And so Matilda allowed herself to be married off to a low-level clerk in the Department of Education.
(Curtains open to reveal the Bird sitting room: a dining table with two chairs and a sofa. There is an old, lace tablecloth. It is morning. Matilda sits at the breakfast table while Anne, the maid pours coffee. Mr. Bird enters, ready for work.) Mr. Bird: (to Matilda, as he sits at the dining table) Good morning, my dear! Anne:
Coffee, sir?
Mr. Bird:
Thank you, Anne.
Mr. Bird (to Matilda)
What will you do today?
Matilda:
I don’t know. Probably nothing.
Mr. Bird:
But Matilda, my love! I have the maid come in to cook and clean so that you can fill your time with fun things to do. 12
Matilda:
Everything that is fun costs money and we have none.
Mr. Bird:
We don’t have a lot of money, that’s true. But we do have a little. Besides, a walk in the park is free, isn’t it? . What would you like to do?
(Matilda shrugs.) Mr. Bird:
Perhaps you would like to visit your old school friend, Madame Forrestier? I bet you’d enjoy that.
(Matilda shrugs.) Mr. Bird:
I shall leave a few coins so that you can take the tram to go and visit her in that fancy home of hers on the Boulevard St Germain. Such fancy friends you have, Matilda. No wonder you are so unhappy with this modest home.
(Matilda says nothing. ) Mr. Bird:
That’s where you’re supposed to say, “Oh no, my dear, I love this little house.”
(pause) Mr. Bird:
I shall try to find other things I can do to make you happy. Until tonight, my cherie. I must go to work.
(Curtain closes while the set is reorganized to appear like Madame Forest’s interior.)
13
Act I, Scene 4 (Setting: Madame Forest’s home. Matilda approaches and rings the bell. A butler comes out from behind the curtain.)
Butler:
Yes, Madame?
Matilda:
Madame Bird. I’m here to see Madame Forest.
Butler (looking her up and down):
Does Madame expect you?
Matilda:
No, but I am her oldest friend. I have been here before several times.
Butler (hesitates):
Wait here.
(After a few moments with Matilda looking increasingly uncomfortable: Jan sticks her head out from behind the curtain) Jan:
Matilda! I wasn’t expecting you!
Matilda:
I thought I’d stop by.
Jan:
But why didn’t you send word that you were coming?
Matilda:
I don’t know---I was out for a walk and I thought I would drop in.
Jan:
The thing is I have some friends here.
(The curtain gets drawn back partially to reveal three extremely beautifully dressed women.) Ana:
Who is it, Matilda? 14
Jan (to Ana):
Just a moment
(The curtain gets entirely drawn.) Julie:
Ask the maid to fix my brooch. It’s just come off.
Matilda :
I am not the maid.
Jan:
This is Madame Bird, an old friend from school.
(An actual maid walks in, wearing almost the identical outfit.) Ana:
Ah.
Julie:
Was that that little convent school your parents sent you to?
Suzette:
The one in the country?
Jan:
Yes.
Ana:
And where do you live now, Madame Bird?
Matilda:
I live in Montmartre.
Julie:
Montmartre? You’re the first person I’ve ever met who lives there.
Suzette:
Is it safe in Montmartre?
Matilda:
Yes.
15
(another awkward pause) Jan:
Matilda’s husband works for the department of education.
Ana:
Ah!
Suzette:
I suppose he’s the director?
Matilda:
No, Madame.
(an awkward pause) Suzette:
Well, what is he? Deputy director?
Matilda:
No, Madame. (pause) My husband is a clerk.
Ana, Suzette and Julie: Ah! (an awkward pause) Julie:
My dear Jan, I am afraid I have an appointment that I completely forgot--
Jan:
But our luncheon?!
Suzette:
I also forgot something---I must go, my dear---
Matilda:
No, no, it is I who must go. I simply came by to say hello.
Jan:
Are you sure, Matilda?
16
Matilda:
Quite sure.
Suzette:
Oh so... nice to see you then.
Jan:
Butler, please show Madame Bird out.
Butler:
This way, Madame.
Jan:
Matilda, wait.
Matilda:
Yes?
Jan:
Perhaps next time send a message before just dropping by? To make sure I’m free?
Matilda:
Of course.
(As the stage curtain separates Matilda from the other women we hear the women’s voices.) Julie:
A friend of yours!? (laughing)
Suzette:
She’s very pretty, but really.
Ana
...Julie thought she was the maid...in her simple dress
(The laughter of the women is heard as Matilda runs off stage.) Act I, Scene 5 Curtain opens to reveal the Bird sitting room. The maid is sweeping the floor. Matilda enters the living room. Matilda takes off her coat and drops it on the floor. The maid looks at her in surprise.
17
Matilda:
Well, hang it up. You’re the maid, aren’t you?
(The maid hangs the coat up.) Matilda:
Is the table set for dinner?
Anne:
Yes, madame.
Matilda:
Yes---with this shabby old tablecloth!
Anne:
It is all we have, Madame.
Matilda (imitating her sing-song): Yes, I know it’s the only table cloth we have. You need not remind me of that! Anne:
Is Madame all right?
Matilda:
I shall take tea in the salon.
Anne:
The salon, madame?
Matilda:
The sitting room.
Anne:
Right away.
(Matilda sits down on the sofa near the dining table. After a moment, the maid brings in a pot of tea and pours it.) Matilda:
I suppose that stench emanating from the kitchen means that we’ll be having stew yet again.
Anne:
Yes, Madame.
18
Matilda:
For the fourth time this week.
(Enter Mr. Bird) Mr. Bird:
I’m home! Another day, another dollar!
(He hangs up his coat and enters the sitting room.) Good evening, my love! Hello, Anne! Anne:
Bonjour, Mr. Bird
Mr. Bird: (he claps his hands)
Anne, something smells delicious.
Anne:
Yes, Mr. Bird. It is stew.
Mr. Bird:
My favorite! I can’t wait!
Anne:
It is ready. Shall I serve it?
Let me guess? Is it stew?
(Matilda shrugs.) Mr. Bird:
Yes, let us dine at once! I’m starved!
(Matilda and Mr. Bird sit at the dining table. Anne brings out the tureen of stew and serves it.) Mr. Bird (to Matilda):
Cherie, how was your day?
Matilda (shrugging):
The same.
19
Anne:
Madame went to her friend, Madame Forest.
(Matilda glares at Anne. ) Matilda:
That will be all, Anne.
Mr. Bird:
You went to see your friend. How nice! And did you have a pleasant visit?
Matilda (getting up and turning her back to him to hide her tears): I will never go there again. Mr. Bird:
But why, Matilda? I thought Madame Forest was your best friend. She’s your only friend, now that I think about it.
Matilda:
She has a big house, and servants. She wears the most beautiful clothes. And then I have to return to this small house...and that awful maid and this, this...stew!
Anne:
More stew?
Mr. Bird and Matilda:
No!
Mr. Bird:
I know it is difficult for you. I know you want more than what I have. (pause) Now, don’t deny it. I had been planning on giving you this later tonight---but I suppose now is a better time.
Matilda:
What is it?
Mr. Bird:
You know how the Mayor of Paris throws a big ball each year? 20
Matilda:
So I’ve heard.
Mr. Bird:
And everyone who’s anyone is there.
(Matilda shrugs.) Mr. Bird:
Well, every year they give out a few tickets to some of the clerks. And by doing lots of extra work, I was able to procure two tickets to the ball...for us.
(Matilda just looks at him. He takes the tickets out and hands one to her.) Mr. Bird: (reading)
“The Mayor of Paris requests the honor of your presence at the Winter Ball at the Palace Vendome.” Isn’t it just too much?
(As he talks, Matilda’s face travels through a series of expressions: wonder, excitement, expectation, anxiety, despair, anger .) Mr. Bird: I had to do so many favors to get these tickets. I didn’t want to tell you about it because I didn’t want to disappoint you if I didn’t get them, but I’ve been working on this for months. First, I offered to carry the director’s major project out for him. Then I made sure to do all the data ordering, and lots of filing basically---very tedious---and so detail oriented that most people would never manage it. But at last, at last, I won the tickets! Matilda:
Why do you torture me this way?
Mr. Bird:
Torture you?
Matilda:
You know perfectly well that I have nothing to wear to a fancy ball! We can’t possibly attend. 21
Mr. Bird:
What about the dress you wear to the theatre? I think that would look lovely.
Matilda :
That old thing? To the ball of the year!? I’d be a laughing stock.
Mr. Bird:
A laughing stock?!
Matilda:
You said it yourself. Everyone who is anyone will be there. I can’t wear my simple theatre dress to a ball. It’s impossible. We cannot attend.
Mr. Bird:
I suppose we could buy you a new dress.
Matilda (incredulous) : A ball gown? Mr. Bird:
It would have to be something you could wear again and again through the years.
Matilda:
You’d never have enough money to buy me a dress for this ball. Forget it.
Mr. Bird:
Look here---just how much money would it cost? To buy you a dress that you could feel good in---without going completely crazy.
Matilda:
Maybe 400 francs.
(Mr. Bird almost swoons from the cost.) Matilda:
I told you that you’d never have that kind of money.
22
Mr. Bird:
400 francs. I have 400 francs.
Matilda:
What?
Mr. Bird:
For the last two years, I’ve been saving my money. I had my heart set on buying a new rifle. You know that my favorite hobby--well, after napping--- is to shoot birds on Sundays.
Matilda:
Yes, I do know that.
(pause) Mr. Bird:
But I’ll give the money to you, my dear, so that you can buy a good dress.
Matilda:
You will?
Mr. Bird (defeated) :
Yes, but … try to get a really good dress for all that money.
(Curtains close.) Act I, Scene 6 (This narrator stands in front of the curtain.)
Narrator:
The next day, Matilda got a dress for the ball. For three whole days, Matilda was in a great mood..
(Matilda holding up a beautiful ball gown dances and twirls across the stage.) Narrator:
And then…
23
Act I, Scene 7 (Curtains open to reveal Matilda sitting on the sofa. She looks sad. Anne, the maid, is setting the table. Mr. Bird enters.) Mr. Bird:
I’m home.
(He hangs up his coat. Then he enters the sitting room.)
Mr. Bird:
Hello, cherie! What’s that wonderful smell?
(Matilda sits, looking at her hands.) Anne:
It’s stew, sir..
Mr. Bird:
Delicious!
(noticing that Matilda has not reacted to him at all) Mr. Bird:
Cherie, are you all right?
(Matilda shrugs.) Mr. Bird:
My dear, you have been in a wonderful mood these past few days. What’s changed, cherie?
Matilda:
I don’t have any jewelry to wear to the ball. I can’t go wearing a fabulous dress but no jewelry! I’ll look like a pauper.
Mr. Bird:
I see… well, what if you wore some beautiful flowers as a corsage. That’s very chic this season. For 10 francs, you can have some gorgeous roses. Think how 24
beautifully they’d look with your hair, your eyes, your skin! Matilda:
No...I can’t wear flowers instead of jewels! There’s nothing more humiliating than looking like a poor person in a rich crowd. There’s nothing we can do. I’ll return the dress. And we can just skip the ball entirely. I knew it was too good to be true.
Mr. Bird:
(thinks for a moment) Wait! How silly you are! Go see your friend, Madame Forest and ask her if she’ll lend you some jewelry. You’re old friends---you’re certainly close enough to ask her for that favor.
(Matilda smiles.) Matilda:
I hadn’t even thought of it. You’re right. I’ll send a message now asking if I can see her tomorrow.
Mr. Bird:
Are we a great team or what?
Anne:
Shall I serve the stew?
Mr. Bird:
Yes please, Annette.
(Matilda and Mr. Bird sit down at the dining table. Anne serves.) Mr. Bird:
Ah, what a happy home!
(The curtains close and the set is rearranged as Madame Forest’s boudoir.)
25
Act I, Scene 8 (The curtain is closed to represent the facade of Madame Forest’s house. Matilda walks in front of the curtain and rings the doorbell. A butler steps out from behind the curtain.)
Butler:
Yes, Madame?
Matilda:
I am Madame Bird. I have an appointment to see Madame Forest.
Butler:
Do come in.
(The curtains open to reveal Jan in her bedroom. She is leafing through a magazine. There are boxes and loose jewelry on a dressing table.) Jan:
Ah Matilda!
Matilda:
Jan!
(They embrace.) Jan:
Thanks for sending a little note to ask if you could come. Instead of just showing up. I’m so busy these days. And even now, I can only spare a few minutes for our visit.
Matilda:
Of course. ..the fact is I have a favor to ask.
Jan:
For you? Anything!
Matilda:
We are going to the ball of the Mayor of Paris.
Jan:
You and your husband!? To the ball of the Mayor of Paris! 26
Matilda:
Yes.
Jan:
My, my, my! How impressive.
Matilda:
I bought a new dress...but I have no jewelry. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I was hoping you might consider lending me something. Maybe a necklace and a bracelet?
Jan:
I don’t see why not. Come. I’ll show you some of my pieces.
(She opens a drawer and takes some pieces out, including a few boxes.) Jan:
Try any of these you wish.
(Matilda tries this one and that. She can’t seem to find one that is quite right.) Jan:
I don’t mean to rush you. It’s just that I have another appointment---
Matilda:
Of course. I can’t choose… do you have anything else?
Jan:
You can borrow anything on that table.
Matilda:
What about this beautiful box? May I open it?
Jan:
Sure.
Matilda:
I’ve seen this brand in magazines. It’s the best jeweler in Paris.
Jan:
Only the best for me! 27
(Matilda opens it and takes out an impossibly large diamond necklace.) Matilda:
Oh wow!
(She holds it up to her neck. She looks at her reflection. We can see that this is exactly what she wants.) Jan: That looks beautiful on you, Matilda. It suits you. Matilda:
But I can’t possibly borrow this.
Jan:
Of course, you can. For one night, it’s yours.
Matilda:
Jan, are you really sure?
Jan:
Yes, certainly.
Matilda:
Oh Jan, thank you! (hugs her) Thank you.
Jan:
You’ll bring it back, won’t you?
Matilda:
Yes, of course I’ll bring it back.
(We hear the doorbell.) Jan:
Good. Oh that’s the door. I must cut our visit short, Matilda. I’m expecting friends for lunch. But do enjoy the ball. Tell me how it goes?
Matilda:
I will (she holds up the black satin box. ) Friends forever, right?
(Jan waves goodbye as the curtains close.) 28
Act II, Scene 9 (A ballroom filled with men and women dressed to the nines. Mr. Bird in a tux and Madame Bird in a gorgeous dress with full make-up and hair, and of course the diamond necklace.)
Mr. Bird:
Here we are at last. The Ball of Paris! You look beautiful, my dear.
Matilda:
Thank you. Thank you for bringing me here.
Mr. Bird:
Now you know that dancing isn’t really my thing. Would you mind terribly if I went and took a nap in the cloakroom while you enjoyed the ball? I think you’ll have plenty of people to dance with.
Director:
Excuse me, Bird.
Mr. Bird:
Mr. le Directeur! It is an honor sir.
(to his wife) May I present my beautiful wife, Matilda? (Director kisses Matilda’s hand.)
Director:
Where have you been hiding her, Bird?
Mr. Bird:
At home.
Director:
A great beauty such as hers should be celebrated.
(to Matilda) Would you do me the honor of giving me this dance? 29
Matilda:
With pleasure.
Narrator:
Matilda danced for hours and hours. Every man at the ball wanted to dance with her. She was indeed the belle of the ball. Meanwhile, her husband napped in the cloakroom. At about 1 in the morning, he came to look for his wife.
Mr. Bird:
Excuse me. Matilda, Matilda.
Matilda:
(dancing with a gentleman) Yes?
Mr. Bird:
Hi, it’s me, your husband. You’ve been dancing for hours. You must be tired.
Matilda:
Tired! But we only just got here.
Mr. Bird:
Matilda, it’s 1 in the morning. We got here at 9pm.
Matilda:
It’s 1 in the morning?
Mr. Bird:
Yes.
Matilda:
Must we go?
Mr. Bird:
Haven’t you had enough?
Matilda:
No, I love it here. I want this night to go on forever.
Mr. Bird:
It’s just that...its getting a bit boring, sitting in the coat room, trying to nap.
30
Matilda:
Why don’t you stay and dance?
Mr. Bird:
It’s not my thing, dear. I’d rather take a nap. Tomorrow’s Sunday. That’s my day for shooting birds in the park, you know. I need a good night’s sleep
Matilda:
Please, please can we stay a bit longer.
Gentleman 1:
Oh come, Bird, let your Madame stay a bit longer.
Gentleman 2:
She’s the belle of the ball.
Gentleman 3:
You’re a lucky man, Bird.
Mr. Bird:
Of course, of course. Enjoy yourself, Cherie.
(Two other men commiserate with Mr. Bird).
Husband Who Loves to Nap 1: My wife is just the same. She’s dancing up a storm. Husband Who Loves to Nap 2: And mine, too. Let’s go back to the cloak room and catch a nap. Husband Who Loves to Nap 1: I’ve got a pillow and I know how to use it.
31
(The lights flicker on and off to indicate the ball is over) Mayor of Paris: (speaking)
My dear guests, all good things must come to an
end. And this ball is no exception. The evening is officially over. It is 3 in the morning. Thank you for a wonderful evening.
Mr. Bird:
Hurry, darling. Put on your shawl or you’ll get cold.
Matilda:
Leave me alone. I don’t want anyone to see me with that shabby old shawl. I’ll put it on when we’re outside.
Mr. Bird:
But you’ll catch cold!
Matilda:
I’ll be fine. Quick, let’s hurry and catch a carriage.
(Matilda runs off stage with Mr. Bird in pursuit, carrying her shawl)
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Act II, Scene 10 (Setting: The Birds’ sitting room. Matilda and Mr Bird have just arrived home. Mr. Bird is taking off her shawl as Matilda stands in front of the audience. She is dressed in her ball gown, but not wearing her necklace.)
Mr. Bird:
Well, I am glad that you enjoyed it.
Matilda:
It was the most wonderful night of my life.
Mr. Bird:
I’m so glad. You must be exhausted.
(Her hand moves to her neck.) Matilda:
Husband.
Mr. Bird:
What?
Matilda:
My necklace.
Mr. Bird:
What about it?
Matilda:
It’s gone.
(Curtain is down .) Intermission Act III, Scene 12 (Setting: The Birds' sitting room. Matilda is pacing nervously. Mr. Bird enters, looking exhausted, unkempt.)
Matilda: Mr. Bird:
Well? I looked everywhere. I retraced our steps from the palace to where we found that old carriage to take us home. I searched everywhere. Nothing
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Matilda:
What will we do?
Mr. Bird:
You must write a letter to your friend . Here I will dictate it.
(She sits down and begins to write.) “Dear Jan, Just a note to say that I’m afraid I’ve broken the clasp of the necklace.” Matilda: Mr. Bird:
But I didn’t. Just write what I say! “I’m afraid that I’ve broken the clasp on the necklace you lent me. I am having it repaired by a jeweler who says that I will return it to the end of the week. Yours Truly, Matilda. “
(to Anne):
Take this at once to Madame Forest.
Mr. Bird:
That will buy us time to return the necklace.
Matilda:
But how will we return it? We haven’t got it!
Mr. Bird:
Show me the box it came in.
(Matilda brings him the box.) Mr. Bird:
The most expensive jeweler in Paris, of course. We’ll go there right now.
(Curtain. )
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Act III, Scene 13 (Setting: Inside a jewelry store in Paris. Jeweller 1 is positioned outside the curtain.Matilda and Mr. Bird stand before the Jeweller 1. )
Mr. Bird:
You sold a diamond necklace to a Madame Forest. It came in this box. We’d like to know its price, please.
Jeweller 1:
To a Madame Forest, you say? Let me consult my books.
(after a few moments )
We didn’t sell Madame Forest the necklace.
Matilda:
But she had the necklace in this box. Isn’t this your company? TOUT CHER
Jeweller 1:
Yes, Madame. But we did not sell her the necklace. We only sold her the clasp.
Matilda: Jeweller 1:
The clasp? Yes, Madame Forest was unhappy with the original clasp that came with the necklace so she brought the necklace here to have us replace the old clasp with one of our own.
Mr. Bird:
I see. But do you have any idea who would have sold this necklace? It’s large with very big diamonds.
Jeweller 1:
No idea, sir. It’s not the sort of thing we would sell. Try the jewellers on the rue des Martyrs.
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(They exit stage left. )
Act III, Scene 14 (Setting: A street in Paris. Matilda and Mr. Bird enter stage right, exhausted, as though they have been walking for hours .)
Matilda:
We’ve been to every jeweller in Paris. Nobody sells that necklace.
Mr. Bird:
Look. Is that a mirage?
Matilda:
House of Diamonds.
Mr. Bird:
And look in the window? Is it just me?
Matilda:
It’s exactly like the necklace I borrowed from Jan.
Jeweller 2:
Can I help you?
Mr. Bird:
How much is that diamond necklace?
Jeweller 2:
It’s 400,000 dollars.
(Matilda nearly faints). Mr. Bird:
Nearly half a million dollars. For a necklace!?
Jeweller 2:
What do you expect? It’s a genuine diamond necklace. Dare to dream, right?
Mr. Bird: Jeweller 2:
Look here...I need to buy that necklace. No one needs to buy a diamond necklace.
Between you and me, we only keep this in the
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window because it brings people into the store where they buy much, much cheaper jewelry.
Mr. Bird:
I am being perfectly serious. I have to buy that necklace.
Jeweller 2:
No offense, but you don’t look like you have that kind of money.
Mr. Bird: Jeweller 2:
No, I don’t. I’ll have to borrow it. To borrow that kind of money, you’re going to need collateral...unless you’re planning on going to…
Mr. Bird:
Money lenders….yes, I have to.
Jeweller 2:
They’re going to charge you a fortune in interest. By the time they’re done with you, this necklace won’t cost 400, 000 dollars. It will cost a million and a half.
Mr. Bird:
Never mind that. What you can do for me is give me your very best price for this necklace. Your very best price.
Jeweller 2:
I can let you have it for $360,000.
Mr. Bird:
Very well. It’s going to take me a couple days to arrange the loans. I will come back in 3 days with the money. Will you promise not to sell it before then?
Jeweller 2:
I’ll give you three days, but not a minute more.
Mr. Bird:
Thank you.
Matilda:
Husband? I don’t understand.
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Mr. Bird:
Your friend will have her necklace back by the end of the week.
(The characters freeze. Curtain falls. )
Act III, Scene 15 (Setting:. The sitting room of the Birds. Anne is standing before Mr. Bird. She has apparently just been told something shocking. There are two suitcases in the room.)
Anne:
But I don’t understand. I need this job. Please. Please don’t fire me. Whatever I have done, I’ll try harder.
Mr. Bird:
It’s nothing you’ve done, Anne. Our circumstances have changed. We cannot afford you anymore.
Anne:
But how will Madame clean this whole house all by herself?
Mr. Bird:
We cannot afford the house either, Anne. We have sold it to help pay our debts.
Anne:
Debts!?
Mr. Bird:
Yes. The entire house must be sold, including all the furnishings.
Anne:
But where will you live?
Mr. Bird:
Not to worry about that, Anne. Thank you for everything. I wish you good luck.
(Anne leaves stage left.) (After a moment, Matilda enters stage right.) 38
Mr. Bird (to Matilda):
Did you return the necklace to Jan?
Matilda:
I did.
Mr. Bird:
Did she notice it was a replacement?
Matilda:
She barely looked at it.
Mr. Bird:
Did she say anything at all?
Matilda:
She said, “You might have brought it back before. I might have needed it.“
Mr. Bird:
There, there, darling. Did she give you lunch?
Matilda:
No, she was expecting friends. I was shooed out of there pretty fast. What about Anne?
Mr. Bird:
I told her everything. She is gone. I dismissed her.
(Matilda nods.) Mr. Bird:
Come, dear. It is time to say goodbye to this old home of ours. How much I loved it.
(He picks up a suitcase. Matilda picks up her suitcase.) Matilda:
Where will we live now?
Mr. Bird:
I have found an attic room in Oberkampf
Matilda:
Oberkampf.
Mr. Bird:
We will make do. Come.
(They exit stage left. Curtain closes.)
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Act III, Scene 14 (Setting: Outside a decrepit building in a bad neighborhood in Paris. An old woman stands outside the curtain opening. Bird and Matilda approach from stage right with their suitcases.)
Landlady:
You’re the Birds, I take it.
Mr. Bird:
We are, Madame. This is my wife, Matilda.
Landlady:
I’m gonna go over the rules one more time just so we’re all clear. You’ll live in the attic for free. It’s a fifth floor walk up so I hope your knees are in good shape! And in exchange for the free room, Madame Bird will clean the floors and do all the housekeeping, in all the apartments on all five floors. At night, you’ll do the washing---and I’ll allow you to take in some laundry from the neighborhood to make some extra money.
Mr. Bird:
Understood.
Matilda:
A moment, please, Madame.
(to Mr. Bird) Can’t we afford to pay rent? Why must I clean in exchange for our lodgings? We sold the house. You still have your job after all. Mr. Bird:
Selling the house only paid back a tenth of the cost of the necklace. Matilda, my entire salary must go on the payments to the money lenders for the necklace. All of it, Matilda. For the next 10 years. We rely on you now to do the work that gets us a roof over our heads And 40
whatever money you make from taking in laundry---that will serve us as money for food. Matilda:
I see.
Mr. Bird:
I’ll be working day and night as well. I’m taking in extra accountant work to do
Landlady:
Don’t worry Madame Bird. Your new home may be tiny but with all the work you’ll be doing ---cleaning the other apartments, washing laundry in the basement: you’ll rarely be in it.
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Act III, Scene 14
(Setting: A street scene with three fruit and vegetable vendors and people buying and selling goods. Matilda enters. She looks dramatically worse; older and rougher than before. After looking at many vendors, she holds a bag of potatoes and stands in front of Peter, the vendor. )
Narrator:
Many years passed. Matilda’s once beautiful looks faded. Her elegant hands turned red and rough with hard work. Her soft voice became hard and strong as she haggled with the men at the fish market. She rarely had a moment left alone to her thoughts for she worked all the time. But occasionally, as the afternoon light filled an apartment she was cleaning, her thoughts would float back to that magical night at the palace.
Matilda: Peter:
Five francs. That’s my final offer. Madame Bird, you know perfectly well that a pound of potatoes costs 10 francs. 10 francs, not 5.
Matilda:
I suppose you don’t want my business today, Peter.
Peter:
Now, now, Madame Bird, you know that’s not true. But the price is the price.
Matilda:
The price is never just the price. Six francs . Final offer.
Peter:
Madame---think of my children. They’ll go hungry tonight if I sell you a pound of potatoes for just 7 francs.
Matilda:
I said 6 francs. Anyway. It doesn’t matter. There’s a nice produce vendor on the rue Mouffetard. A little bit of a 42
walk for me, it’s true, but he’ll be happy to give me a pound of potatoes for 5 francs. Good day to you, sir. (she walks away) Peter:
Madame Bird, where are you going?
(she turns) Peter:
A pound of potatoes. 6 francs.
(she smiles and exchanges coins for a pound of potatoes) Peter:
I don’t know how you do it. It must be your charm.
Sam:
Matilda Bird, as I live and breathe. The best haggler in Paris. What terrible deal are you going to force me to make today.
Matilda:
I’ll take a monkfish for 4 francs.
Sam:
Now, Matilda, may I call you Matilda?
(she shrugs) Sam:
I mean, I have known you for ten long years. I’ve known you since the day you turned up here---a tiny wisp of a thing, with the most beautiful, young face. The most elegant, flawless hands. Who could have believed…
Matilda:
What? Who could have believed what?
Sam:
...That such a beautiful young woman would become such a great negotiator!
Matilda:
Did I say I wanted to pay 4 francs for my monkfish? Let’s make it three francs.
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Messenger:
A new boat has come in: they’ve got your flounder and oysters but you’ve got to take it now.
Sam:
And how I’m gonna do that? I got no one here to help me?
Messenger:
Not my problem.
(He leaves.) Sam:
Tell you what, Matilda. I’ll let you have that monkfish for free if you watch my stall while I go pick up my flounder and oysters from the ship. I’ll be an hour, tops.
Matilda:
You want me to watch your stall for you?
Sam:
You’d be doing me a solid. And who knows? Someone comes by---feel free to sell them some fish: at my prices, not yours. I bet you’d be good at it, too.
Matilda:
I’m not sure. It’s my one day off a week.
Sam:
I told ya: I’ll throw in a free monkfish.
Matilda:
Make it two monkfish. And ten oysters.
Sam:
You drive a hard bargain, Matilda. I’ll be back in an hour.
(Sam exits stage left.) Shopper:
One flounder, please.
Matilda:
That’s ten francs.
Shopper:
Ten Francs. A fortune!
(The shopper hands over money.)
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(Mr. Bird walks by.) Mr. Bird:
Matilda? What are you doing manning the fish stall?
Matilda:
Hello, husband. Sam, the fish vendor, had an errand to run so I said I’d watch it for an hour.
Mr. Bird:
I see.
Matilda:
And?
Mr. Bird:
I just made the last payment. I have the receipt. It’s over. We’re done.
Matilda:
All of it?
Mr. Bird:
All of it. We’ve finally, finally paid off that wretched necklace.
Matilda:
Things will be easier, now, I suppose.
Mr. Bird:
A bit easier, yes, but not much. We’ve lost a decade after all. Now we have to save for our old age. Hard to believe; it took ten years to pay off that necklace.
Matilda:
It took ten years, yes and it took my hands, too. Look at them! I’m not the pretty young girl you married ten years ago, am I?
Mr. Bird:
Matilda, I’m going to do something I haven’t done in a decade. I’m going to grab a nap.
Matilda:
And when Samuel returns, I’ll come home and make dinner. We’re having monkfish.
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Mr. Bird:
Very well. Perhaps you could make it in a stew. I haven’t had a stew in so long. And you know how much I love stew.
Matilda:
Yes, I remember.
Mr. Bird:
Well, then, I’ll see you at home.
(Matilda nods. Exit Mr. Bird stage left as Jan enters stage right, first checking out other vendors.) Jan:
My cook normally does the shopping for me, but that salmon looks just beautiful. I can’t resist. How much?
Matilda:
That will be 43 francs.
Jan:
Can you make change for 60?
Matilda:
Yes, I can make change, Jan.
Jan:
How is it that you know my name?
Matilda:
I’m your oldest friend. We met in the convent as children. Best friends forever, remember?
Jan:
What?
Matilda:
I’m Matilda Bird.
(She drops the fish.) Jan:
Oh my God! Matilda, what happened to you? I would never have recognized you.
Matilda:
Look hard. You know it’s me.
Jan:
But you look so...
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Matilda:
So old? ...A hard life will do that to you. I’ve had nothing but hard days since I saw you last ...and it’s all on your account. There’s your 17 francs, Madame.
Jan:
It’s all on my account. How is that?
Matilda:
You remember the diamond necklace you lent me to attend the Ball of Paris?
Jan :
Yes, what of it?
Matilda:
I lost it.
Jan:
No, you didn’t. You returned it to me.
Matilda:
I returned another necklace that looked just like the one
you lent me. And it’s been ten years that we’ve been
paying it off. You can imagine that it hasn’t been easy for us. Paying nearly half a million dollars off on a clerk’s salary. We’ve lived on practically nothing for a decade….Well, at long last, it’s over and I am well glad of it, too. Jan:
You bought a diamond necklace to replace the one I lent you?
Matilda
Yes, even you couldn’t tell the difference. They were so alike. You hadn’t a clue, Jan. Not a clue.
Jan:
You bought a real diamond necklace to replace mine?
Matilda:
Yes, for 400,000 dollars.
Jan:
Oh, my poor Matilda. The necklace I lent you was costume jewelry. Those weren’t diamonds. It wasn’t worth 400,000 dollars. It wasn’t even worth fifty dollars.
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(Characters freeze as the curtain falls.)
Recommended order for bows: Ana, Suzette and Julie Gentlemen 1-3 Wives who Love to Dance 1 and 2 Husbands Who Love to Nap 1 and 2 Sister Catherine and Jacqueline Gentlemen 4-6 Jeweller 1 and Jeweller 2 The Butler and the Landlady Peter and Sam, vendors Shopper and Messenger Director, Mayor of Paris and Narrator Anne the maid Young Matilda Jan Forest Mr. Bird Matilda
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