The Emperor's New Suit Cast Narrator 2________________________________________ Narrator 3 ________________________________________ Sally Salmon (a newscaster) ________________________ Peter Peterson (a newscaster)_______________________ Advisor 1__________________________________________ Advisor 2 _________________________________________ Advisor 3_________________________________________ Advisor 4 _________________________________________
The Emperor's New Suit Cast (continued)
Emperor ________________________________________ Empress ________________________________________ Guard 1_________________________________________ Guard 2 _________________________________________ Ushkar ___________________________________________ Pushkar __________________________________________ Little Boy _________________________________________ Woman in Crowd Man in Crowd ____________________ Teenaged Girl in Crowd ____________________________ Teenaged Boy in Crowd ___________________________
Setting: This play takes place in a faraway kingdom, long, long ago.
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Advisor 4
Peter Peterson
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The Emperor’s New Suit
Sally Salmon:
Good evening, this is Sally Salmon and …
Peter Peterson:
Peter Peterson
Sally Salmon:
We’re reporting live from outside the palace.
Peter Peterson:
We’re here to get the Emperor and Empress’ response...
Sally Salmon:
to the latest crisis in our land.
Peter Peterson:
Oh! There’s the Emperor’s advisor!
Sally Salmon:
He’s probably going to give us a statement!
Peter Peterson:
Mr Advisor! Mr Advisor!
Sally Salmon:
Mr Advisor! Mr Advisor!
Advisor 4:
Yes.
Sally Salmon:
As you know, our country has big problems.
Peter Peterson:
The people would like to know what the Emperor and Empress are doing about it.
Advisor 4:
Well…um….
Sally Salmon:
Surely, they have a big plan...
Peter Peterson:
...you know…to help the country.
Advisor 4:
You must understand that the Emperor and 3
The Emperor’s New Suit
Empress have far more important things to think about. Sally Salmon:
More important?
Peter Peterson:
What could be MORE important than saving our country?
Emperor and Empress:
Fashion!
Emperor:
We are mad for fashion!
Empress:
Simply mad!
Narrator 1:
Once upon a time…
Narrator 2:
in a land far away…
Narrator 3:
there lived an emperor--
Emperor:
That would be me!
Narrator 2:
and an empress.
Empress:
You’re lookin’ at her.
Narrator 1:
They ruled a vast kingdom
Narrator 2:
And they had many responsibilities,
Narrator 3:
but all they ever cared about was….
Emperor and Empress:
How do we look? 4
The Emperor’s New Suit
Narrator 1:
Their advisers were always trying
Narrator 2:
to get them to care about their people
Narrator 3:
and to, you know, govern.
Advisor 1:
Your majesties, we must talk about the schools. The children need better schools.
Emperor:
Are the children making us new clothes?
Advisor 1:
Um…no...
Empress:
Then why are we talking about them?
Emperor:
Don’t you understand? The only thing we care about is fashion!
Advisor 3:
Your majesties, we must discuss health care. Many of your loyal subjects are very ill and—
Empress:
Are the sick people making us clothes?
Advisor 3:
Um…no...
Emperor:
Then why are we still talking about them?
Advisor 3:
Um…because it’s your job?
Emperor:
Fashion. That is what excites us.
Empress:
Talk to us of nothing else! 5
The Emperor’s New Suit
Advisor 2:
Dudes! I mean---your majesties!!! I need you to understand that being emperor and empress is a RESPONSIBILITY.
Emperor:
Responsibility? Is that a new high-fashion designer?
Advisor 2:
Um….no...
Emperor and Empress:
Then why are we still talking about it?
Advisor 3:
Your majesty, a storm has destroyed an entire village in your kingdom.
Advisor 1:
People have lost their homes.
Advisor 2:
We must help them!
Emperor:
This is dreadful, just dreadful!
Empress:
Monstrous, just monstrous!
Advisor 2:
Finally they understand!
Advisor 3:
They care! They really care!
Advisor 1:
At last, they will act like a real emperor and empress!
Emperor:
I may have to burst into tears.
Empress:
I’m right behind you, sugar. (weeps) 6
The Emperor’s New Suit
Advisor 3:
What shall we do, Emperor and Empress?
Advisor 2:
How can we help these poor people?
Emperor:
Do you think we are crying about those poor people? No. We are crying about my outfit.
Empress:
It’s tragic. The hem on this jacket is all wrong. And the color is ghastly.
Advisor 1:
Sir, what about the people?
Advisor 2:
The people who have lost their homes?
Emperor:
How can you talk about that at a time like this? Just look at what I am wearing! It is so 2010.
Empress:
Don’t you understand?
Emperor:
Don’t you get it?
Empress:
We must be wearing the latest fashion AT ALL TIMES.
Emperor:
Instead of worrying about a silly storm,
Empress:
find us the best designers.
Emperor:
(having a temper tantrum) I need fashionable clothing. And I need it NOW!
Narrator 1:
As luck would have it, two swindlers were 7
The Emperor’s New Suit
passing through town. Narrator 2:
They heard about the Emperor and Empress’ love of fashion.
Narrator 3:
They presented themselves at the Palace gates.
Ushkar:
We are Ushkar and Pushkar.
Pushkar:
The famous designers.
Guard 1:
Do you have an appointment?
Pushkar:
An appointment!
Ushkar:
Don’t you know who we are?
Pushkar:
We are world famous.
Ushkar:
We are the best designers in the whole world.
Guard 2:
(to Guard 1) What do we do? They don’t have an appointment.
Guard 1:
(to Guard 2) We can’t let them into the palace without an appointment.
Guard 2:
I am sorry, but nobody gets into the palace without an appointment.
Pushkar:
Oh, dear. The Emperor will be so 8
The Emperor’s New Suit
disappointed! Ushkar:
And the Empress will be furious if she doesn’t see us. Why, she is dying to see our latest designs.
Pushkar:
The Emperor and Empress will be very angry when they hear you turned us away.
Ushkar:
Come on, guys. You know how much they love fashion.
Guard 1:
(to the other guard) The Emperor and Empress do love fashion.
Guard 2:
If they hear we turned away the best designers in the world…
Guard 1:
they will fire us!
Guard 2:
Or worse!
Pushkar:
Listen, whatever happens, I just want to say that you two look VUNDEBAR!
Ushkar:
Ya, you two are really wearing your official outfits with a lot of panache.
Guards:
You mean our uniforms?
Pushkar and Ushkar:
They are VUNDEBAR!
Guard 1:
I think we should let them in. 9
The Emperor’s New Suit
Guard 2:
You’re right. The Emperor and Empress will be glad we let them in.
Guard 1:
You may enter.
Guard 2:
But only to meet with the advisors of the Emperor and Empress.
Pushkar and Ushkar:
Vundebar!
Narrator 2:
And so it was that Ushkar and Pushkar entered the palace.
Narrator 3:
They were greeted by the emperor’s oldest advisor.
Advisor 3:
May I help you?
Pushkar:
We are Ushkar and Pushkar.
Ushkar:
The world-famous designers.
Narrator 1:
The old advisor had never heard of Ushkar and Pushkar before.
Advisor 3:
(to the audience) But then I am not very into fashion.
Narrator 2:
The advisor asked them if they had an appointment.
Pushkar:
Not as such. 10
The Emperor’s New Suit
Ushkar:
We were just passing through with our latest fashions.
Pushkar:
We know the Emperor and Empress will be devastated if they do not see them.
Narrator 3:
The old advisor did not know what to do.
Advisor 3:
(to himself) It is a palace rule that nobody gets in to see the Emperor and Empress without an appointment. And yet…they do love fashion.
Narrator 1:
So the advisor said…
Advisor 3:
(to USHKAR and PUSHKAR) You may see the Emperor and Empress.
Pushkar and Ushkar:
Vundebar!
Narrator 2:
So the advisor led the swindlers into the Emperor and Empress’ private room.
Narrator 3:
There they found the Emperor and Empress admiring himself in front of the mirror.
Advisor 3:
May I present the world famous designers, Ushkar and Pushkar?
Narrator 1:
Now remember---
Narrator 2:
Ushkar and Pushkar were not real designers. They were thieves! 11
The Emperor’s New Suit
Narrator 3:
So they did not have any clothes to show the Emperor.
Narrator 1:
They did not even know how to make a cloth napkin.
Narrator 2:
But they did know how to trick people...
Narrator 3:
and how to steal...
Narrator 1:
and how to flatter.
Narrator 2:
(they bow) Your majesties---
Pushkar and Ushkar:
We have long admired your fashion sense.
Ushkar:
Ya. I am always telling Ushkar that you are the most fashionable emperor and empress in the world.
Pushkar:
It’s true. He is always saying it.
Ushkar:
When we heard that you were fans of our designs….
Pushkar:
Well, we nearly plotzed.
Narrator 1:
Actually, the Emperor and Empress had never heard of Ushkar and Pushkar before, but they were too proud to admit it.
Empress:
What do you have to show us? 12
The Emperor’s New Suit
Pushkar:
Sires, we have created some clothing just for you two. This is our “royalty only line.” No riff raff allowed!
Emperor:
I like the sound of that.
Ushkar:
Nobody else will be allowed to wear this design. Only your royal selves.
Pushkar:
Ya. Nobody!
Empress:
Show it to us!
(Pushkar and Ushkar
laugh uproariously).
Ushkar:
Oh, sires!
Pushkar:
You are making us laugh.
Ushkar:
Who knew you were so funny?
Pushkar:
We have created a special fabric just for you.
Empress:
Excellent! Finally someone understands our need to look better than everyone else!
Pushkar:
But it costs a fortune to make.
Empress:
Price is of no importance---
Emperor:
when fashion is at stake. 13
The Emperor’s New Suit
Ushkar:
The fabric has special powers.
Emperor amd Empress:
Special powers?
Pushkar:
Ya. It can determine who is wise and who is not.
Emperor:
How can it do such a thing?
Ushkar:
This fabric is so powerful that it can only be seen by the very wise.
Pushkar:
When a foolish person sees it,
Ushkar:
he sees nothing at all!
Pushkar:
Think of what this means!
Ushkar:
You will be able to instantly tell who among your advisors is wise
Pushkar:
and who is not.
Advisor 1, 2, 3 and 4:
GULP!
Advisor 1:
How much does this fabric cost?
Pushkar and Ushkar:
Two billion dollars.
Advisor 1, 2, 3 and 4:
What?
Ushkar:
I know. A bargain, right? 14
The Emperor’s New Suit
Advisor 2:
That is half the money in the kingdom!
Pushkar
So you can easily afford it.
Ushkar:
Of course, if you don’t want it...
Emperor and Empress:
Oh, we want it! We want it!
Advisor 1:
There really is no such thing as spending too much money ...
Advisor 2:
when fashion is concerned.
Empress:
Copy that!
Emperor:
Over and out.
Advisor 3:
Emperor, I must speak. This is too much money. It’s just clothes, after all.
Ushkar:
Just clothes? Just clothes?
Pushkar:
We should wash your mouth out with soap.
Ushkar:
It’s not just clothes.
Emperor, Empress, Pushkar and Ushkar:
It’s fashion!
Ushkar:
(to Advisor 3) You’re probably just scared.
Advisor 3:
Me? Scared? 15
The Emperor’s New Suit
Pushkar:
Of course. After all, this material has magical powers.
Ushkar:
It can tell if you are wise...
Empress:
or foolish.
Ushkar:
You are scared that you won’t see the fabric—
Pushkar:
and that can only mean one thing:
Pushkar and Ushkar:
you’re foolish.
Narrator 2:
The advisor was beginning to regret ever having let Ushkar and Pushkar in to see the emperor.
Advisor 3:
Of course, I’m not foolish. And I’m not afraid of your silly fabric.
Ushkar:
Great! Then we’ll take our two billion dollars right now.
Advisor 2:
Emperor? Empress?
Emperor:
Give Ushkar and Pushkar the money at once.
Empress:
When can we have our clothes?
Pushkar:
It will take two weeks.
Emperor:
Vundebar! It will be ready for the national parade. We can wear it in front of the whole 16
The Emperor’s New Suit
nation. Narrator 1:
And so Ushkar and Pushkar took the money.
Narrator 2:
They pretended to work on the suit
Narrator 3:
but they were just miming the actions of sewing.
Narrator 2:
Each day an advisor to the Emperor came
Narrator 3:
to watch the progress on the Emperor’s and Empress’ new clothes.
Narrator 1:
They couldn’t see any fabric at all...
Narrator 2:
but they were too scared to admit it.
Narrator 3:
They were afraid that it would mean they were foolish.
Ushkar:
How do you like the Emperor’s new jacket?
Advisor 2:
Um...it’s great.
Pushkar:
What about the Empress’ dress?
Advisor 2:
Vundebar?
Ushkar:
What do you like best about it?
Advisor 2:
The color. (to himself) I can’t see a thing. Oh no. This means that I am foolish. And I always 17
The Emperor’s New Suit
thought I was wise. But I must pretend to see it. Or else I will lose my job. Ushkar:
It is a beautiful color, isn’t it?
Advisor 2:
Oh yes.
Pushkar:
(to ADVISOR 1) And you, madam, what do you like best about the Emperor’s suit?
Advisor 1:
Umm....
Narrator 1:
This advisor couldn’t see the outfit either, but she pretended to.
Advisor 1:
Ummm....the beautiful cut of the jacket.
Ushkar:
Yes, the clean lines are very flattering.
Advisor 1:
Uh..huh (to himself) Oh no! I can’t see a thing. I must be very foolish. I have to pretend to see it. Or else I’ll lose my job!
Pushkar:
(to Advisor 3) And you, sir, what do you like about the suit?
Advisor 3:
Ummm....
Narrator 2:
He couldn’t see a thing, either.
Advisor 3:
Ummm...how can I pick one thing? Both outfits are just great. 18
The Emperor’s New Suit
(to himself) I’m pretty sure that Ushkar and Pushkar are swindlers. I don’t think there’s any fabric there at all. But what if I am wrong? What if the fabric has magical powers and this proves that I am unwise? I can’t take the risk. Narrator 3:
So even this old advisor pretended to see that something wasn’t there.
Narrator 1:
Finally, the day of the parade came.
Emperor:
I can’t wait to wear my awesome new suit!
Empress:
Let me at that dress!
Narrator 2:
Ushkar and Pushkar came in and presented the clothes to the Emperor and Empress.
Pushkar and Ushkar:
What do you think?
Narrator 3:
The Emperor could not see a thing.
Emperor:
(to himself) Oh no! The magical powers of the fabric! It has proven that I am foolish. I can’t see the fabric. And it is clearly there! After all, all three of my advisors have seen it. There they are, admiring the suit!
Empress:
(to herself) Egads! I always thought I had brains and beauty. But now it seems I just have beauty. For I cannot see the fabric at all. But my dear Emperor can see it. I shall 19
The Emperor’s New Suit
keep quiet and put the dress on, pretending all the while that I can see it! (to the advisors) How do I look? Advisor 1:
Breathtaking!
Advisor 2:
This is a knockout!
Advisor 3:
Gorgeous, just gorgeous!
Emperor:
(to himself) I can’t see it at all. Oh well, I better play along.
Pushkar:
Is there something wrong, your Majesty? Don’t you like the suit?
Ushkar:
You can see it, can’t you?
Emperor:
Forgive me. I was speechless for a moment. You see, the suit is so beautiful, it took my breath away.
Pushkar:
Your majesty, this suit has that effect on people. It’s pretty powerful stuff.
Ushkar:
Let’s get you into this suit, your majesty. It’s going to rock the nation!
Narrator 1:
So the emperor changed...
Narrator 2:
and with infinite care, 20
The Emperor’s New Suit
Narrator 3:
the swindlers helped him into his new suit.
Narrator 1:
Except the suit did not really exist.
Narrator 2:
So the Emperor was standing there in his underwear.
Emperor:
How do I look?
Narrator 1:
What could the advisors say? They had to play along.
Advisor 1:
I can honestly say that I have never seen you like this before.
Advisor 2:
It’s just so natural. And it looks really comfortable.
Emperor:
I’ll be honest. It feels like I’m wearing nothing at all.
Advisor 3:
And it looks like it fits you like a second skin.
Emperor:
I love it. Get me out to the parade! I want to show myself to the world!
Narrator 2:
And that’s just what he did.
Sally Salmon:
This is Sally Salmon
Peter Peterson:
and Peter Peterson
Sally Salmon:
reporting LIVE from the National Parade. 21
The Emperor’s New Suit
Peter Peterson:
There’s been a lot of talk about the Emperor and Empress’ new clothes.
Sally Salmon:
I can’t wait to see them, Peter.
Peter Peterson:
Sally, do you know that people are saying that only the wise can see the outfit?
Sally Salmon:
It’s just amazing what technology can do.
Peter Peterson:
I sure hope I see it.
Sally Salmon:
Otherwise, it means that you’re not wise.
Peter Peterson:
It’s an exciting moment in the history of our country
Sally Salmon:
because everyone is going to find out at the same exact moment
Peter Peterson:
whether they’re wise
Sally Salmon:
or unwise.
Peter Peterson:
Here come the Emperor and Empress!
Narrator 1:
The Emperor and the Empress stood before the nation...
Narrator 2:
wearing only their underwear.
Narrator 3:
The entire nation gasped. 22
The Emperor’s New Suit
Sally Salmon:
So…..um….what do you think, Peter?
Peter Peterson:
Um….you know… wow! Just …wow!
Sally Salmon:
It’s amazing.
Peter Peterson:
Yes, no one could wear this in quite the same way
Sally Salmon:
As the emperor and empress.
Narrator 3:
Even though the crowd could not see the fabric...
Narrator 1:
they pretended they did.
Woman in the Crowd
Doesn’t the emperor look amazing?
Man in the Crowd
Um...yeah. Amazing.
Teenaged Girl in the Crowd
I love his suit.
Teenaged Boy in the Crowd
Uh--huh. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.
Narrator 2:
Suddenly a little boy caught sight of the Emperor and Empress.
Narrator 3:
He knew what he saw.
Narrator 1:
The Emperor and Empress were wearing no 23
The Emperor’s New Suit
clothes! Narrator 2:
And the little boy shouted out loud.
Little Boy:
The Emperor has no clothes! The Empress has no clothes! They are wearing no clothes at all!
Narrator 2:
The moment the Emperor and Empress heard it...
Narrator 3:
they knew the little boy was right.
Emperor:
We are standing here in front of the nation in our underwear.
Empres:
We look like complete and utter idiots!
Narrator 1:
But what could they do?
Narrator 2:
They couldn’t run away. I mean, they were the emperor and empress.
Narrator 3:
So they were forced to walk through the entire parade in their underwear...
Narrator 1:
pretending that they were dressed.
Narrator 2:
Meanwhile Ushkar and Pushkar ran away with half the gold in the kingdom!
Pushkar and Ushkar:
(running away) You’re welcome! 24
The Emperor’s New Suit
Sally and Peter:
Ushkar and Pushkar!
Sally Salmon:
Do you have any comment
Peter Peterson:
about the success of your designs?
Pushkar and Ushkar:
Ya. It went VUNDEBAR!
Narrators:
THE END!
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