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Musicians “Good evening, PlayStation!” Meet gaming’s maddest, baddest rockers Music in games evokes atmosphere and triggers an emotional response in the player. But that’s kind of boring. Here, we’re only interested in eardrum-splitting depravity. Like using the power of ROCK to kill demons. Or defeating invading aliens using only your nimble fingers and a collection of bubblegum pop songs. We’re also interested in PlayStation’s sexiest, most tortured musical talents. Like discovering that Lucas from spooky thriller Fahrenheit has an unexpected musical streak, or the bonkers pop direction taken by Final Fantasy X-2 that weirded out its own fans. So c’mon people, put your lighters in the air for our gaming supergroup. (Groupies welcomed.)

Ulala (Space Channel 5)

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Aliens are invading (again) and only microskirted TV presenter Ulala can save the day. How? By dancing to a disco and funk soundtrack while taking pot shots at the attacking Morolians with a laser. Lady Miss Kier from Deee-Lite thought Ulala was based on her, but spectacularly failed in her attempt to sue Sega in 2003, costing the singer $608,000.

Yuna (Final Fantasy X-2) Leaving behind her dull old life as a mystical summoner, Yuna embarks on a career as a J-pop starlet. FFX-2 opens with her belting out her hit Real Emotion (it’s awful) in front of a packed stadium while wearing a radical new cleavageboosting outfit. The hardcore fans didn’t like the new direction, preferring her as a mousey wallflower. The massive babies.

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intermission A tasty PlayStation snack Lucas (Fahrenheit) When his ex-girlfriend comes over to pick up her stuff, rather than making small talk (or crying while tugging at her coat sleeve) Lucas plies Tiffany with gin and busts out the guitar. Strum a note-perfect song and it’ll get you some nostalgic bedroom action. Choose something romantic, though – the bossa nova option won’t loosen any buttons.

Love Fist (GTA: Vice City) Part Scottish Spinal Tap, part walking knob gag, the band are Jezz Torrent, Willy, Dick and Percy. Memorable song titles include the likes of Four Boys Against Your Face, Take It On The Chin, Zinc Deficiency and Fist Till Morning. The band kept Tommy Vercetti plenty busy in Vice City, organising hookers, gig security and, erm, avoiding car bombs.

Parappa (Parappa The Rapper) This rapping dog’s phat skills saw him defeat the town bully, Joe Chin, and win the heart of beautiful girl-dog Sunny Funny. Among other things, he used rap to learn kung-fu from an onion, work in a burger bar and sell tat at a flea market. Which makes him a dog of all trades (provided all trades involve rapping).

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Dante (Devil May Cry 3) After defeating the Succubus in Devil May Cry 3, Dante earns the right to use Nevan, a magical electrical guitar. By performing solos and fiery licks, bursts of electricity blast from the instrument and rip enemies apart. It can even summon angry bats, and doubles as a handy scythe. Disappointingly though, it’s not an actual axe – missed a trick there, Capcom.

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Have we missed your favourite musically -gifted character? Let us know at opm@ futurenet.com. Ones we almost picked… ■฀Chopin (Eternal Sonata). This JRPG takes place in Chopin’s dying dreams where he uses his conductor’s baton to orchestrate enemies to death. ■฀The Devil (GH III). Turns out your band manager is the devil and wants your soul. Cue: The Devil Went Down To Georgia…

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