Abecedarian to My

Grandmother’s God

Coco Rosales

Abuela told me good girls read their Bible and pray each night before bed. Why should I care what a book thought of me? I was in your lap, drowning in a love incubated for generations, enticing and warm as the home-made tortillas melting on our tongues. Isn’t that why we have family? I’m sure if He were in this room, God would take your word that I’m angelic enough that Heaven can make space for me. But beyond your arms, far out of sight, I held her hand while she held mine. Just like God said, I was patient and nothing but kind, so if I read the story right this must count as love. What else could it be? If Eve chose to spend her life with Abigail, why would it matter so long as they belonged together? Why would that together be denied a name? I felt so certain, I mentioned it to you once, on the day you first taught me of sin. With cold eyes you threatened me of Purgatory, the only Hell suited for ones who loved wrong. For you, being queer meant one was broken. A forgotten soul God must renounce to preserve His kingdom. I bowed my head, silent, ashamed. I always tried to love everyone, refusing to forget even the tiniest of His children, so would He truly lock the gate, deem me unworthy of joy in whatever follows death? Am I truly damned because I ventured beyond this ancient map and found that my heart loves without regard to gender? Abuela, can you forgive me? Do you trust I am ‘xactly as designed? We have the same blood, but I will not become you. When we collide in the next life, will you open your arms? Or will you watch with zeal as I burn.

Contributing Artists & Writers

By day, Max Du (poetry, prose) is a researcher in the Stanford Artificial Intelligence Labs, and he tries to get robots to do more intelligent things by themselves. By night, Max is a writer. He specializes in the human-animal relationship: the romance, the mysticism, the controversies. He’s currently working on a non-fiction book that features the stories of whale and dolphin trainers. More broadly, he’s interested in the traces of an irrevocable past, for better or for worse. Max enjoys writing about his childhood home in Upstate New York, his Chinese immigrant parents, and, of course, the sea.

Alix Fisher (poetry) is at ‘26 student in Symbolic Systems and Interdisciplinary Arts. Their fascination with lexicology drives their poetry, which explores the ambiguity of words, language, and meaning. In “Albatross Wings,” they portray visually a life limited by its own purpose.

Sonja Hansen (prose) is a writer based in Sacramento, California, who majors in Earth Systems, B.S. on the Land Track with a Notation in Science Communication and a Notation in Cardinal Service. Her interests lie in intersectional environmentalism, natural stewardship, and justice. Sonja works in the performing arts, storytelling, and stand-up comedy to support community-based climate justice projects. She is particularly interested in sharing stories of how we can work toward a Just Transition and improve environmental and human well-being. Sonja enjoys dog-walking, surfing, audiobooks, BeReal, live music, sunbathing, comedy, and peanut-butter chocolate.

Alyssa LaTray (poetry) is a senior English major from Great Falls, Montana. She has roots in the Blackfeet and Little Shell band of Chippewa tribes. She enjoys writing poetry about her home, her parents, shiny metal objects, the kitchen, and nature.

Justin Portela (prose) is a writer from New Jersey. He is desperate for your approval.

Giancarlo Ricci (poetry) explores queerness, hook-up culture, and how sex and relationships inform the self in their poetry. They are interested in exploring and presenting the consequences and ecstasy found in queer love.

Coco Rosales (poetry) is an English major who adores reading novels to uncover new worlds and procrastinate their homework. When not writing, they enjoy admiring all of the weird and wonderful creatures of nature, being buried in warm laundry, or eating Funfetti cake with treasured friends. When writing, they explore themes of queerness, Latinidad, and mental health, among other sujbects. They hope to someday write the stories that could make people like them feel safe, loved, and wonderstruck!

Katie Terrell (visual art), an undergraduate junior at Stanford University majoring in Art History, creates art as a form of stress relief. Each artwork reflects her inner world, giving viewers a glimpses into her thoughts, emotions, and experiences.

Jude Wolf (visual art).

Alex Zhai (visual art) is a sophomore studying Computer Science and Art History. He enjoys hiking, snowboarding, and watching Wes Anderson movies.

Kat Zheng (poetry) is a junior majoring in Economics and minoring in Creative Writing. She enjoys both poetry and prose and has previously been published in The Stanford Daily, The Blue Marble Review, and the Eunoia Review. Currently, she’s working on her first novel, a coming-of-age story focusing on complex familial relationships. In her free time, she enjoys crocheting, playing the ‘ukulele, and watching YouTube deep dives of mid-2010s CW shows.