What Does Home Mean? W R I T T E N B Y J U L I E T U L LY • D E S I G N E D B Y K I L E Y L O E S C H S T R O M B E R G
The movers come in a month’s time. Soon this apartment will no longer be home. Our pictures will come down from the walls. Our furniture wrapped in thick, industrial paper. Our life placed into boxes—everything that makes the space ours will be crated up for yet one more transoceanic move. Off to our next home. Awaiting the move, our family has been reflecting on what the word home really means. Especially this move. For our little military family, the word home is complicated and far more nuanced than what the dictionary says. When your life is dictated by duty, home can mean many things.
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tied to his dad’s jobs, when we had representational duties and their size and appearance mattered. He’d forgotten the even smaller apartment we had in Germany, four moves prior. And he can’t remember the incredibly tiny house we had in Connecticut when he was born.
home
[hohm], noun a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household
“We’ll fit just fine,” I tried to reassure him, all the while mentally noting the size of the closets, wondering which items would need to go into the storage closet.
Our family lives by the belief that home is wherever the three of us are. But that’s not entirely accurate. Home is actually the combination of our family unit and the space we inhabit at the time. The physical dwelling plays a huge role.
Having lived in places where our quality of life has been tied to what personal items we brought with us, we know the value of making a house a home.
Having lived in places where our quality of life has been tied to what personal items we brought with us, we know the value of making a house a home. Our current place isn’t perfect, however it’s what we’ve called home for four years. There’s a lot to be said for that. “But it’s so small,” our son said when we first walked through the space on a muggy summer’s day. “How will we fit?” He looked around. It was half the size of the house we’d just moved from. He was doubtful, grieving for what we’d left behind. But then again, he was only recalling the sprawling homes we’d inhabited in recent years. Houses
Over the years, we’ve managed to “fit” into every house we’ve called home. We mold and adapt to each space. When the boxes are unpacked, a type of magic occurs and the house becomes home.
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their new post-active duty chapter as a family of five. While the family was accustomed to change and challenge due to their military experience, Courtney says, “Closing the chapter of active duty service for our family was a bit like leaving the safety and security of my parents’ house when I moved away for college. On one hand, it felt thrilling and freeing to leave all of the rules and regulations behind. On the other hand, there were so many fears, unknowns, and questions. Suddenly, having so many choices felt overwhelming, but leaning into our faith, learning from others who had made it through the transition before us, and taking it one step at a time helped us find our way.” As the Woodruffs head to Texas to begin again, Courtney reflects on the process of leaving, grieving, and growing. She says, “We have found ourselves in the thick of the grieving process once more, feeling awkward, out of place, and homesick. This time around, I believe I’m more aware of the different stages of grief we’re experiencing because we’ve been through it so many times before. As much as I would love to skip to the good part of feeling settled and comfortable, I’m understanding this is a good part of our story too. It’s our turn to be the new kids in town who need a seat at the table, and this experience will only help us to better understand and love others in our new community.”
INTERVIEW WITH COURTNEY WOODRUFF BY LINDSAY SWOBODA ILLUSTRATED BY JANE RANDALL CLEEK
Courtney Woodruff ’s story began in the Piney Woods of East Texas. She was adopted as an infant, and she has fond memories of beating the southern summer heat by reading in the public library. Her love of reading prompted a love of writing. Courtney fell in love again when she met her husband, Daniel, at the University of North Texas. She shares, “Before we got married, I’d only moved once in my life (not counting the journey to college), and it was just across town. The military was never part of our plan, but it became a chapter in our story just before our first son was born.” The Woodruffs moved every couple of years while Daniel served in the Army. They moved to Washington State for one last tour of duty before Daniel transitioned to the National Guard. It was there that the Woodruffs became a foster family and adopted their third son. Now, they are headed to back to Texas to start
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Finding a seat at the table, or building one to welcome others, is an important part of Woodruff family life. They are a foster family, which Courtney explains was a decision that goes back to the first chapter of her story. “I was adopted as an infant, and while I dealt with my own challenges growing up, I grew a heart for children who need stable families and loving homes. When I met my husband, I shared that foster care and adoption were on my heart, and he agreed that we would follow that calling and see where it would take us someday. Fourteen years later, we began the
Emotional Goodbyes,
Happy
Returns WRITTEN BY MASON BAKER (8) & KELLY BAKER
Deployments and temporary duty travel (TDY) are inevitable for most military members. The family is affected by their absence as well—almost as if a part of their heart is leaving when those boots step out of the house. Absence can cause many emotions, but grief yells the loudest in our home. When I learned my dad had to go TDY, sadness overcame me.
PHOTOGRAPHED BY REINNA CRUZ
It had been a long time since he had left for a work trip, so I hadn’t really been used to him being away. So many emotions flooded my body. It became difficult for me to process such strong feelings. My sorrow and grief caused me to overreact and get angry quickly. Mom gave me some time to process and helped me work through these emotions, but there was still something missing while my dad was gone.
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Each day, my dad would call on our way to school. Hearing his voice every morning brought me joy. We’d also say our bedtime prayers together on FaceTime each night.
It helped being able to talk to him every day. About three weeks after he left, we got to visit him over a long weekend. I was so excited to see my dad!
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