VOLUME 7
OVERHEARD IN NOTTS THE PIERRE OF THE RESISTANCE
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Overheard in Notts The Pierre of the Resistance Volume 7 Welcome to our seventh annual volume of Overheard in Notts. Within these pages you will find the silliest and funniest things our agents picked up on our clandestine city-wide surveillance network and published in the pages of LeftLion magazine between Issue 175 (September 2024) and Issue 185 (July 2025).
s end i r f be d ist. l u d o o c p I hiro c a with
Man 1: Do you wan t to come and watch Spiderman with u s on Saturday? Man 2: "No thanks I'm 31."
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Man 1 : for wh We love yo u o down you are. D .N e funny ot just you ep p r pedo osts and yo jo ur Man 2 kes” : am to Is that wha tI y a pedo ou? Just ?
Yoghurts are like nicotine pat snack ad ches for dicts.
“I don't w a sketched nt to be .N I'm in sho ot while rts.”
place s i h T : n1 Perso ly. w e is lov 2: You kno n ? Perso not lovely s what' ullying. rb Cybe
I’d rather have a good q ual floor-bur ity ger than bleached chicken. t o a nudis “I went t year, but e beach on ough so hr you get t ncream.” u s h c u m
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“I swear if y a bad mo ou catch me in o knock yo d next time I’ll u Man mutt off your bike!” ering at a De courier cy cling on th liveroo e paveme nt.
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ice; v d a ing ll t a D ut a in p t ’ don boobs r you basket. one
ted n a He we my har f. to s ed bee corn
Wom not b an 1: Sorr y e ages en let ou guys. I’v . Am e t I emb of my ca Wom g to ge an 2: We arrassing e in ll ? t the b your fan , you did ny ou t us. t on ry
they e r ,a Ooh sters? coa e e r f
is ntice e r p p “My a ghthouse li like a sert; really o t e in a d but no use t brigh .” e anyon
"I wish I w a person s s an ill oI drink Act could imel."
W from e all co Tha ballba me t g out. freaks s. me
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ic car r t c e l e e that r?” e s a y ove : D' ya?” Man 1 drove me 'd he miss t almos Yeah! How like a : Man 2 I know! I'm : Man 1 bump P speed yo lease
going to “It’s like am and Nottingh going to the f instead o end up in u castle, yo s.” le Glory Ho
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ur ca face food o n you g in y and st ut of m et ours ick i y t .
a go n n o st g erge u j m I’ div is o r u ne er and whatev re. from ening he happ
kes a t e yon of r e v E out k c i ’m the m cause I e me b arian. t vege
"The g stude ood thing n stupi ts... they about d, bu can b t they' e re no at least t dang erou s."
"Madam ,y does not our impatience tr of way.” ump my right Overheard from a car window in West B ridgford.
here w , n i a t i r B r man is e h t o y r e ev l drunk. a c o l r u o y
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at I miss h w s i s i Th n South w o D t u abo in the s e p a v l l they se ere. toilets th lls itely se n i f e d n.” “She childre o t a b mam g at me) n i t n i o p (Man 10
“You c and t an't just b h u talkin en keep o rp g n left o where y ou ff!”
D Yor on’t m k Me shire ek us k a t rate s me ea. furr tung eh. gu
ierre P e is th e. s i h T tanc s i s e the r
of
go
Go h hom ard, th en e.
our y h s ru n’t b or gold. o d k ou 1: If y ll go blac d l i Ch , they’ ne in o e m teeth 2: Gold? ere’s so h . Child 1: Yep. T ld tooth o Child with a g 1 Year
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little t's e e s a "I can lls... Wh a eyeb off?" g goin
He talki can’t b e n Mon g abou 60, he’ tb s ster Mun eef ch.
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Hav ther e you h e cask ’s an op eard e e new t call fo n r Harr y Po the tter?
w g ne n i d l ui ou b ?” y e r “A s, then der build rby to buil Passe
,
ps ave chi h o t g t goin " "I'm no dinner. e m l i o it'll sp ip shop h c e h t In
o an’t g c u o Y .. as a . g n o wr ball. h c a be
I’v wat e stopp chin e g Ra d dio o n
e.
“He's li witho ke toxic ma ut the s masc culinity ulinity .” 13
e
't gon n s a h t ha thing t gra!” y l n o ia “The ays is v at no d e s e g up th shoutin t e e r t s Man in ticular ar one in p
e o th t d re ne ppe '? Whe a h ck at ?” “Wh 'wazzo ocks go d wor e wazz th did
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I can hard sentence ly spring a together .
She’s kids. A just plop pi n You ju d that’s no ng out st hat t e the fair. kids.
o t bin. S it.” a h t e “I lov ple use o e p y man
Id kind rank so m a sp iked uch I mys elf.
for s u o at’ ot y ’I ve g anta. Wh ? et S Secr tar-sign s your
“Wh drag y did y o The me he u are dresse re? s min ging .”
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ey u, th o o y e o lik e got to ant d y "The ay you'v don't w one d s just aura an ith some h muc ng out w aura." h to ha too muc to t with e studen g Colle e student g colle
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Someone on Chann el I miss the Queen’s s 5: pe at Christm as, she’s b ech een there my w hole life. Someone in Lenton : So have v errucas.
u know o Y : 1 . Person rley? of him d a r a M e b h er Bo 2: Nev ow... the n o s r kn Pe 1: You n o s r ry Pe ’ man? ike strawber n i m m L ‘Ja 1: Jam? ou were n o s r e P ty hough usic? t I ? m m ja about g n i k l a t
e are th ?” y h “W o big f s s i j emo a voice o n t. Said i y a studen b panic
Man : bee Have y n o Wom to a lau u ever n you an: Tha drette? talk t to g ’s how irls.
loud nine. c n o m I’ “Yeah t to the Stood nex .” tall hazelnut s one own the ph d ly ri g n a Said
It’s bleddy cold. Might set fire to a tre e and stand behind it f or half an ho ur. 17
y is it?” “What da hile we are My mum, w ssies opening pre
nt to a w u o yo ers? D : 1 uld I on Pers n my sho ly don't, l . get o n 2: I rea our neck o y Pers fart on t migh
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“Sha ll Wom we just ju a Victo n to her m mp?” ri o escal a Centre, ther in by br ator. oken
We peop ll I guess l psyc e can be co hopa ths… me
I like , y u ice g ervert. n a He’s s just a p he’ him, Pers
The abou re’s som e t calls when yo thing y u hits s ou hand r granny som o ha e tha rd. t
on 1: Do you think they’ll have any m iracle grow for that cact us? Person 2: Yes but not in the poison aisle.
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. e him t a h lly ’t rea was n o d “I ish he uld w I t o Bu nd I c ther cry a d a de is mo h h c t .” wa neral u f s i at h
alk w t I jus ippers h e l Y in s d n . u aro e days s the
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The acro re’s that ss o Slea the roa dd man d. zy St u!
"You ca ns commu ay nis it is com m, because m good w unism, in a ay."
ear w y eall gans r t ’ r n I do with o hes clot em. h on t
t Wha ? : 1 n Perso ed to you f life! o en happ re so full n’t! e as You w 2: No I w n Perso
“Swee t chees nutty e cabb ages.”
Can plea everyon se e in No start lis just te tting ham ning .
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he hat’s t W : 1 Boy ters? s i s f o point o hit you in :T Boy 2 ts the nu
I lik com e standu edy. It’s a p laug h. ou
ng, y i o d the ’I ll do rrying. wo e h t o
d
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“Ch a sou na mas n from ds like ala? Th at so The Lion methin King g .”
icked n s ’ eone s. m o S errie b e u l mi’ b
Wom an: Bu t don’t like ca you ts? Man: W e had once, one o one f them long-h aired chinch illas.
“It's lik e Once crack cocai you st n art wit e. the ga h rdenin g. ”
st Mate she ju whistled in straight up hen left. my face... t
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u
at yo e b I t n' u - did ice?" o y e gnis ? Tw "I reco hool once ther male) o sc up at le reply from ib (Inaud times?!" e "Thre
"Ah fa m calling she's start ed my m um he mumr in Two yo -law now." un bus tal g lads on th e king ab out lov e.
y drink l n o e It’s th either e m s ake that m or a bitch. … sleepy 24
ncle’s u y m So hinese C a g seein . Does n woma ke me a that m too? se Chine
“Twenty p is thirty… lus twenty n two. I’m o. Forty n my mum ot lying, told me .”
h
und g r bu t. e l ub dy ha o D un urg b a
it yw
"I alw was ays thou g c Cola alled a P ht it d e alwa a… no w nis o y at fu s got loo nder I nny! ked ”
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ese e h c ered ket v o c I dis s on jac I’m ean d now b d n a s an nded. e o t pota open mi more
l does a m i n ta a : Wha 1 ting at n n i o o s r P ( e ? P e from m o c e sh terrier) e r i h s a York mm… H : 2 n Perso aybe? m d r a leop 26
Perso n 1: No rbert? Perso n 2: So rry Perso n 1: No ..? rbert? Perso n 2: N orb Perso n 1: Ye ert..? ah!
ve an Oooohh I lo ker! ethical hac
Lad 1: is a tra What actua m? lly Lad 2: It’s lik ea train t hat’s b een taken apart.
’?
m oso b ing its v a He like t at ? Is th g sick n bei
Man 1 doin : What 's sh g e Man these day 2: N s? ot y ou.
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ut o b re a ed, a c n’t napp no o d I kid ere’s g th tin get ng as fine. o as l ps I’m s wa u e yo nks r A : an 1 o thi Womeone wh ality? som t spiritu ot when abou an 2: N ara, no. Womutside Z I’m o
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“Did y David ou know th at invent Byrne (In the ed Autism? ” B smokin odega g area. ) “Rig Slowht, bas bein down tard! (Dra g of ha … you over matic d ste!” the g eep v arde oice n fen ce)
lly
a is re
er v a be . My g out win o r g
“Yo u my can sa m a ni ate ju y that, ne t but st b h pou o nd f ousand ught ish. ”
No wou t behind ldn’t a do th tree, I at. w a kno y ’ D ? He dad: Gran anksy is B s who s picture y spra lls. a on w
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like e t i u d q cult. l u I wo trate a nfil to i ome to h t e g an. wait to "I can't of the free m nd, d ie the lan iss my girlfr m I don't y gun!" rican m I miss th strong Ame i Bloke w the phone on accent
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“Her bra w drawn on as .”
Ju mum st to cl a but is a ha rify; my she ’s no irdress t a p er imp .
e t's th a h t , Yeah t of a : 1 l r Gi e poin l nd. who ight-sta n one- : Is it? ut 2 Girl Yeah! B 1: Girl t taking ! o s I'm n aceptive r cont
Ac Wik tually t i is q How a he u rt it te ite use icle on f a tong ches y ul beca that ue p ou ab use lace o men ut t.
our l o c t wha y took w o ’t kn but the n o d I ere w s an . his je surprise y me b
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es m o c Here in hite r. the s g armou n shini
“Yo u for t ’ve go t bro he ging to loo w k stro n eyes ers wit out h with nger th . They’ blue an th re eye e gin s.” gers 32
“He's li vi now. It ng in a van 's combu got a st and eve ible toilet rything .”
’s the What e lovely of th e m a n g Eric n i r a e chap w mbe’s a Morec ? rs trouse
grass e h t e You b the l be and I’l wer. o lawnm
“Pots of pigs in blankets in Gre ggs? The guy behin d that needs a payris e.”
Girl: I'm g it in my onna put th away b rowingox Man: D . o you m ean the bin ?
I’m Tha 55 to t m eve ’s the o orrow r be l en. dest I’v . e
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OVERHEARD IN NOTTS Volume 3
OVERHEARD IN NOTTS VOLUME 4
OVERHEARD IN NOTTS The Verruca Moment
Overheard in Notts Volumes 2-6 are available to buy from leftlion.co.uk/shop. Vol 1 is now sold out. To read and download all volumes digitally for free, scan the QR code below. 34
A PUBLICATION BY
He an w ted to share my corned beef!
Nah man, you’re some salad.
I’ve stopped watching Radio 1.
This is the Pierre of the
Resistance.