LeftLion Magazine - February 2010 - Issue 33

ISSUE 33 FEB-MARCH 2010

nottingham culture

Hot Chip Cassetteboy Mark Steel Rebecca Dakin Cagefighting special Matt Aston The Swiines Red Rack’em Local graffiti artists Nottingham events listings

Star City

The Future Under Communism

High Pavement / Weekday Cross Nottingham NG1 2GB

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Galleries closed Mondays, except Bank Holidays.

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Cover: Valentina Tereshkova, a scene from Sovety v Kosmose.

Photo by RIA Novosti

13 Feburary - 18 April

contents

editorial

LeftLion Magazine Issue 33 February - March 2010

Welcome to our first issue of 2010. I’ve noticed a few comments floating about recently about how now we’re in a new decade we are supposed to be ‘living in the future’.

Obviously that statement is a paradox in itself, but I think the crux of the beef is that you still can’t buy Back To The Future hoverboards and James Bond jetpacks in Argos.

There’s a simple solution to cure this disillusionment: watch 2010 (the sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey) as I did this week. It’s highly disappointing and after it’s finished you’ll be glad to get back to your humdrum life again.

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13 Contain Notts 04 May The news diary that treads the dog dirt of reality into the white Axminster of local media

05 LeftEyeOn The winners of our abstract photo competition Rocks 07 Hot Mercury Music Prize nominees Hot

Chip play Rock City this February and, hence, grace this mag with an interview

Canadian In New Basford 08 AEveryone’s favourite ex-pat is feeling surprisingly positive about our city. For a change Diss 09 Compact Audio cut and paste specialists

Cassetteboy pop in for a chat

Go, Girlfriend 10 You Escort-turned-writer Rebecca

Dakin talks us through her old job, and her dislike for Stratford’s Pizza Hut

credits

Thriller Reviews 12 Aston 21 Music How Matt Aston, one of the best new

Glades, Here’s To Tragedy, In

theatre directors in the country, turned a Saturday job into a creative career

Don 13 Steely Comedian, novelist, political activist

and all-round nice-guy Mark Steel explains to us why some people still think we’re ‘scabs’

Profiles 14 Artist We talk spray cans and throw-ups

with Kid30, Kaption One, Tali and Onga B

Red 15 Sampley Red Rack’em is, erm, red hot right

now. He spills the beans on Big Chill, Radio 1 and his former career as News Bunny

Club 16 Fight We hang out with three of the best

mixed martial artists in Nottingham, and realise they’re not the psychos we thought they might be

Editor Al Needham (nishlord@leftlion.co.uk)

Theatre Editor Adrian Bhagat (adrian@leftlion.co.uk)

Technical Director Alan Gilby (alan@leftlion.co.uk)

Contributors Rob Cutforth Bod Fonda Drew Healey Shariff Ibrahim Sarah Morrison Beane Noodler Jamir Rhodes Aly Stoneman Andrew Trendell Lauren Walker Anthony Whitton

Cover image Jeffrey Bowman (mrbowlegs.co.uk)

Illustrators Adam Poole (goatskin-mountain.co.uk) Rob White (thearthole.co.uk)

Photographers David Baird Matt Dalton Debbie Davies Christopher Frost Rebecca Gove-Humphries

Marketing and Sales Manager Ben Hacking (ben@leftlion.co.uk) Art Editor Frances Ashton (frances@leftlion.co.uk) Film Editor Alison Emm (ali@leftlion.co.uk) Literature Editor James Walker (books@leftlion.co.uk) Music Editor Paul Klotschkow (paulk@leftlion.co.uk)

Isolation, Lisa de’Ville, Mas Y Mas, Becky Syson, Theorist, Wigflex and The Engines of Armageddon

Out The Hams 22 Kick Plucky young boggers The Swiines,

and why they want to give Nottingham a slap

Listings 23 Event Where to go and what to do in

Hoodtown over the next 59 days

28 Noshingham Our new-ish food section is back

with a main course of JamCafe, Ripple and Le Bistrot Pierre

Horrorscopes 30 Rocky Plus The Arthole, Notts Trumps and

LeftLion Abroad

forum crop, with book reviews

Photography Editor Dominic Henry (dom@leftlion.co.uk)

Art Director David Blenkey (reason@leftlion.co.uk)

Lion 20 Write The cream of our creative writing

Editor in Chief Jared Wilson (jared@leftlion.co.uk)

Sub-editors Charlotte Kingsbury (charlotte@leftlion.co.uk) Nathan Miller (njm@leftlion.co.uk)

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Want to advertise in our pages? Email sales@leftlion.co.uk or phone Ben on 07984 275453 or visit leftlion.co.uk/advertise

Daddio Lee Whitehead Stephen Wright Peter Zabulis

Podcast crew Paul Abbott Timmy Bates Rosa Brough Will Forrest Kristi Genovese Jon Hall Dan Hardy Christopher Hough Robin Lewis Stuart Rogers Sam Vtekk Oli Ward Jim Wheatley Sparring partner Luke Skillington

LeftLion.co.uk received twelve million page views during the last year. This magazine has an estimated readership of 40,000 people and is distributed to over 300 venues across the city of Nottingham. If your venue isn’t one of them, please contact Ben on 07984 275453 or email ben@leftlion.co.uk.

This magazine is printed on paper sourced from sustainable forests. Our printers are ISO 14001 certified by the British Accreditation Bureau for their environmental management system.

Anyway, as usual we’ve got a tangfastic packet of Nottingham Culture for you within these pages. On the literature front we have interviews with escort-turnedauthor Rebecca Dakin, who charmed us all with her reading at our Circus Extravaganza last year. We have words with comedian, author and all-round boffin Mark Steel about why we still get called ‘scabs’ twenty-five years after the miners’ strike. Local theatre director Matt Aston pops up to tell us about working with Billy Ivory and Stephen Lowe. And Internet terrorists Cassetteboy are in the house to inform us why they enjoy playing with the noises Alan Sugar and Nick Griffin make.

For those of you with an interest in local sport, see our centrespread on mixed martial artists. At first this comes across as very brutal and disturbing viewing (and frankly most of what you see on TV is), but the competitors I met surprised me with their wit, openness and general friendly nature. I’ll retain an interest in those fighters from now on - though I won’t be stepping into a cage with them anytime soon.

We’ve had a lot of feedback about our music coverage recently too - mostly positive - but the negative titbits are usually the most interesting. For the record we are not just a music magazine; we’re trying to cover a wide range of cultural things going on in Notts, including our bleeding brilliant local music scene! So while the likes of Red Rack’em and The Swiines are interviewed in here (as well as Hot Chip) you’ll have to go to our website to read the other 500-plus interviews, reviews and features we’ve done on local musicians over the years. While you’re there have a listen to their tunes on our podcasts (leftlion.co.uk/ podcasts) and come see some of them at one of our live events (more info about our next one on page 23). And if you want us to listen to your band, visit leftlion.co.uk/ sendusmusic and follow the simple instructions.

So no more moaning about us not giving your band a triple page spread every issue, okay? If we did that, we’d have to bump other cool stuff and members of the local arts, theatre or literary scene might start picketing outside our houses too! Hang on a minute - that could be quite fun... jared@leftlion.co.uk

Sound of The Lion

LeftLion’s podcast of plenty Sound of the Lion is the LeftLion podcast devoted exclusively to new music from Nottingham. It began hosted by Hello Thor’s Tom Whalley, but then he got all famous and moved on to BBC 6 Music. So our Music Editor Paul Klotschkow and Doledrum promoter Kristi Genovese took up the mantle of feeding your tabs with a fresh selection of local vocals each month. Show #3 (online now) features one track from each of the albums reviewed on page 21.

Listen up at leftlion.co.uk/podcasts

Ashley Dilks

Doodle bug Ash is one of the founding members of the epic Drop in the Ocean music festivals and is now involved with its successor, Hockley Hustle, which goes from strength to strength. He’s widely revered amongst the ‘Lion crew for being one of the finest purveyors of the Sunday Roast. His talents don’t end there though; he regularly contributes illustrations and designs for the mag at a minute’s notice and has also been known to juggle fire and throw a frisbee really, really far. leftlion.co.uk/issue33

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Nottingham in Top 10 Cities...

DK Eyewitness Travel Guides made Hoodtown one of the Top 10 cities to visit in 2010, along with Istanbul, Reykjavik, Vancouver and Nara.

NJM Good news. This year could be quite a big year for this city - what with Naddinghayam: the Movie, the British Arts Show and all of our local sports teams looking like they’re on the up.

Kowalski Does this mean they’ll be some sort of exchange system set up? So we can do swapsies and go and stay in the other places for a bit? I’m up for a bit of Nara action. This is definitely what lists like this should be for if not. theonelikethe That is surreal - as much as Notts is good it’s hardly in the same league as Istanbul timmy

Notts’ Most Powerful and/or Influential People Ken Clarke, people! Is he the only Bilderberger from Notts?

Stillman Thomas Helwys, co-founder of Baptist denomination. William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army. Herbert Kilpin, founder of AC Milan.

Denzileo P Brothers, Son Records and the Out Da Ville people in their time, for putting each other on, bringing people through and making waves on their scene. Geiom, Spamchop and Shortstuff who are making quite a noise and getting some justified attention. Shane, for mekkin films. floydy John Peace - Experian Founder, Nat Puri Industrialist, Prof David Greenaway - Notts Uni, Prof Neil Gorman - Trent Uni, Richard D. Fairbank - Capital One Founder, Chairman (check out his name for a banker: Rich Fairbank and not changed by deed poll, brilliant).

NS Good call on Shane Meadows (although he is from Uttoxeter so would he count?) That actress who was in Minority Report.

Daley Thompson Vernon Coaker, Jesse Boot, the chap who invented HP Sauce, James Baillie, The Middleton Family of Wollaton Hall, Alan Sillitoe, Sat Bains. myhouse-yourhouse Sir Paul Smith.

Seamus Flannery Sir Lee Camp. it’s alan

Nottingham WILL be (potential) World Cup Venue Bloody hell, can’t even rely on Derby to do one thing right. Oh well, best be giving the Dutch/ Belgian bid our full backing now.

Albert Herring As it turns out, the only bidding cities not included on the shortlist are our eternal rivals, Derby, Leicester and Hull, which suggests that someone on the organising committee might possibly have been born in the City Hospital.

NJM I’ll be sad to see the City Ground go, but it’s slowly dawning on me that it will have to at some point in the future and I’d actually quite like to see the new stadium, so bring it on.

Alan From the comments on the Derby Evening Telegraph site: “Yes that’s right there is loads more to do in Nottingham - get shot, get drunk, get pregnant, urinate in the street and then see a show.” :D Adrian

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leftlion.co.uk/issue33

MAY CONTAIN NOTTS with Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’, Al Needham

December 2009 - January 2010 5 December The EDL demo in town gets moved next to the Castle, presumably because they couldn’t concentrate on defending England next to a German market, with a massive reindeer head singing Christmas songs at them. Wetherspoons got a record bar taking that day, you know.

8 December Su Pollard, Mother Nottingham herself, kicks off on a disabled driver after a car accident in Bournemouth and nearly gets collared by Babylon after a swearing binge that would have shamed the people in the smoking area of the Thurland on a Friday night. “She was quite a spectacle in her pink and black striped leggings, a short black skirt and bright pink pillbox hat,” said the victim.

Cor. I know people who would quite happily pay to be sworn at by Su Pollard dressed up like that.

9 December Alright, alright; I would quite happily pay for that experience.

10 December Forest supporters across the city find their heads on the verge of exploding, such is the urge to scream “I told you so, you mongs”, as Munto Finance are revealed as – well, we still don’t really know, but they sell Notts County on for a quid to the ludicrously oily Peter Trembling. Hey, County fans – give me your council house in Bestwood and in five years time, I guarantee that it’ll be in the Park.

16 December The FA announces that Nottingham has breezed into the next stage of the World Cup city selection process, while Leicester and Derby are told to pick their knickers up off the floor and jog on. If there has to be a new stadium in Nottingham, May Contain Notts suggests only this; that a tinkler large enough to cast a shadow over our neighbouring hamlets be attached to the roof, with the words “SUCK THIS, YOU VERMIN. GO ON - SUCK IT AS IF IT BELONGED TO YOUR FATHER-BROTHER” spelled out in 200-foot neon lights.

17 December It snows dead hard and Nottingham looks like a Christmas card. For a day. Then it all melts, and it looks like a massive bird has shat all over the city and we all have to walk around like penguins with a diarrhoea problem for weeks.

30 December Documents released by the Government under the 30-year rule show that Brian Clough was considered by the Labour government as a potential ally to keep Margaret Thatcher out of power. Let’s hope that when the foul hag finally stops nicking our oxygen, the Hallowed Brian appears at the gate and boots her directly into Satan’s chip pan, like that scene in 300.

31 December Halo, which used to be Mode, which used to be McClusky’s, which used to be Madisons, is now known as ‘boarded up’. Where will our youths who hanker for crap RnB and people desperate to get their hands up the skirt of some scratty madam, who thought it was a good idea to get the names of their children tattooed upon their jubblies, go now? Oh yeah, everywhere else on Upper Parliament Street.

6 January May Contain Notts, whilst taking in the sweet, sweet air on its midnight perambulation up Mansfield Road, is taken aback by the sight of a man brandishing a live peregrine falcon on his arm at midnight. Surrounded by a gang of youths staring at him in awe, and taking pictures with their mobiles. Here’s a suggestion for the Council – install a potentially violent animal petting zoo in the Square at weekends, so that the youth can feed a polar bear or stroke a panther instead of trying to shove a pint glass into each other’s brains.

13 January Some good news for Notts County, as they are announced as the 23rd most popular team to play on Fifa 10. But then again, everybody wanted to be Gon on Tekken 3, because you could be a two-foot orange dinosaur and absolutely shame your mates by farting in their faces.

14 January Peter Trembling demonstrates his ability to focus upon the real problems at Notts County by, er, announcing the search for a new song for the team to run out to. Dunno why, because the current one - One Vision by Queen - is pretty apt, as it contains the lyrics “I’m gonna tell you there’s no black and white” and “I had a dream when I was young, a dream of sweet illusion... but a cold wind blows, and a dark rain falls…look what they’ve done to my dreams”.

16 January A local DJ raises nearly two grand for the Haiti Earthquake Fund by running round the Square in his underwear. A few hours later, nearly a thousand sucky girls do exactly the same thing, for nowt.

18 January An instructor at the David Lloyd Fitness Centre is forced to sign the sexual offenders register for appearing stark naked at the windows of his house in Arnold and doing a few, er, groin stretches at young mothers with kids. I feel sorry for the poor bastard myself - when you work at them places, you do everything in front of tinted glass. He obviously just forgot.

19 January Amazing sights abound in Rise Park when Gary Lineker - no, sadly not that one - is airlifted to hospital, after a car crash, by a helicopter that lands in the middle of the street. People in Top Valley look out of their windows and go; “Eeh, look at them posh bastards wi’ their ‘ellahports, thinking they’re summat.”

21 January Clumber Park announces that it is one of twenty historic locations that have been added to Google Maps’ Street View, which is great news for wheelchair-bound doggers. Could they do the car park behind the Racecourse next, please?

25 January Students at Nottingham University announce plans to establish a British Quidditch league, despite the fact that they can’t fly or cast spells and are reduced to throwing a ball about with a broomstick jammed against their groins. Talking of which, I would like to announce plans for a Nottingham Rollerball team, seeing as it’s going to be dead popular in forty years time and we don’t want to be left behind. Owners of motorbikes with spiky wheels, or who possess the ability to punch someone in the face when they’ve got a helmet on, meet me on the Forest on Sunday mornings. I’ve already bagsied being Jonathan, though.

LeftEyeOn

leftlion.co.uk/lefteyeon

Check out the winners of our abstract photo competition...

LeftLion readers chipped in over 130 photos for our LOMO themed abstract photo competition, with the chance to win their own retro Russian LOMO camera. We were well chuffed with what you sent in - see the weirdness in full at leftlion.co.uk/abstract

Send us yer Notts...

The judges’ top four are pictured, having racked up a stack of points for abstract interpretation and on-the-fly camera skills - top, then left to right: Tower Explosion (winner) - The Woodlands Flats in Radford, multiple exposures, lens zooming and cool composition, all done in-camera and on the fly. It’s all going on.

(Stephen Wright / Flickr: -SW-) Sky Mirrored (runner up) - a different in-camera take on a well photographed abstract landmark, clouds confined to the mirror and not the sky.

(Peter Zabulis / Flickr: PeteZab) Aspire and Glowing (runner up) - a slanty persepctive of the 60m high Aspire sculpture on the Nottingham University Jubilee campus.

(Christopher Frost / Flickr: gails_man) Sperm Sun (runner up)- an everyday object snapped on the fly with an old camera, this intriguing piece of rusty metal spotted lying in a skip could easily make it to a gallery.

(Daddio)

photography@leftlion.co.uk leftlion.co.uk/issue33

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14 track CD album in stores now “The system that meets the wants of the few by denying the needs of the majority is in its twilight years” www.dealmakerrecords.com

City centre entertainment, illuminations and special offers…

A great night out!

Nottingham

Friday 12 February Light Night

Nottingham City Centre From 6pm ‘til late

Saturday 13 February After Dark From 5pm ‘til late

www.mynottingham.gov.uk/lightnight

words: Paul Klotschkow Over the course of three albums rammed full of delirious grooves, beats, funk, and electronica, with an unashamed pop side and clever wordplay, Hot Chip have grown to be one of the UK’s most original bands. Their second album The Warning was nominated for the Mercury Music Prize, whilst top ten single Ready For The Floor saw them up for a Grammy. They have just released their new album One Life Stand and are about to embark on a hectic UK tour. However, their keyboard player, guitarist and percussion man Owen Clarke still managed to squeeze in time to have a chat with us...

Hello Owen, how are you?

I’m good, thank you. I’ve been at the record label this afternoon.

I had rehearsals this morning at 10:30am, the band have been going through stuff we haven’t done in a while. Last week we rehearsed the new stuff for the tour.

Your new album has just come out. How would you say the band has evolved since your debut Coming On Strong?

I was struck recently by the first record. I was in a pub, and the song Playboy from that album came on the jukebox, and it took me by surprise when I heard it and how good it still sounded.

We’ve spent such a long time working on the latest record, so I’ve had these new songs in my head for ages. To hear the older song and put it along the new stuff made me feel proud to hear them together as it still held up. The first record seemed so excitable in comparison though. I feel that the evolution of the band has been a natural one, we have never exploded or made a giant leap ahead. It’s been a gradual process.

For instance on the new album there is a track called Slush. It ended up being a very simple and elemental song, quite stripped back. But getting there was very difficult. We did about thirty versions of that song before we got to the point where we were happy with it. It’s a bit like a farming process, you develop strands and work on them until you get one you are happy with and cultivate that.

we got to meet him; that was cool. I also remember once when we were unloading this massive electric piano to take in to the Rescue Rooms, it was super heavy. We were all struggling to carry it. Then this massive guy with a ginger ponytail came out of the Rescue Rooms. I swear that he was about seven feet.

He said “I’ve got this one” and carried it in all on his own. The Rescue Rooms giant!

How do you go about recreating your music live?

This time around I think that we have produced a very succinct pop record. Things are very stripped back this time as opposed to having lots of things going on, which we have had in the past.

This means that we have to play less on stage, which is turning in to a bit of a challenge. For the last record we toured for two years and by the end of it, it was so full on and full of energy due to the momentum that we had built up. We don’t have that this time around. Due to the new album we are much more dynamic and elemental, so we need to find that energy straight away.

“It’s a bit like a farming process, you develop strands and work on them until you get one you are happy with and cultivate that”

How does the songwriting work in the band?

The band started with Alexis (Taylor) and Joe (Goddard) and they started to grow and move in a more electronic direction.

Due to this they needed people to play the growing number of instruments, so the band fell in to place because of that. Those two are the main songwriters in the band. It was really on our second album, The Warning, where the songwriting started to evolve a little bit more. Alexis and Jo still brought in the songs, but the rest of the band were incorporated more into it. On Made In The Dark the band did do some songs together, but that approach didn’t work this time around. On One Life Stand Alexis and Joe brought in their demos, which were in various stages, either coherent songs or just ideas. Then the production brought things together.

The venues you play are getting bigger. Does this affect the way you approach playing live?

Well, the first gig that the band ever did was a strange one. It was at the Union Chapel supporting SMOG and it was rubbish.

We had all these strange organs, various Casio keyboards, drum machines, and guitars and the venue made us sound bad. It was an old church so it was full of reverb, like when you talk in a church the sound bounces around - it was just like that. When you play in larger venues sometimes that sound can still suffer.

But because the room is full of people there is a joining of energy.

I know that sounds hippyish. You are providing something for people who want it and want a good time, so the room is full of energy and that makes a big difference. I guess it is like a modern-day church, but with everyone dancing.

When the band is in the studio, how are the songs recorded and put together then?

It depends. Some songs are already fully formed by the time we get to the studio and other times the band will work on the arrangements. We set up banks of keyboards and stations and feed in rhythms and some songs end up playing themselves.

Other times, certain songs have to go through various versions.

Do you have any fond memories of playing Nottingham previously?

I know that people always say this, but I mean it. I always like visiting Nottingham, I get a good feeling when I am there. Who is the curly haired one from Squeeze? Chris Difford maybe?

Anyway, he was playing a gig every day or something travelling around in a caravan. He had been playing earlier in the day, so

There was a misunderstanding that Ready For The Floor had been written for Kylie Minogue, but she rejected it. If you had the opportunity to write a song for one act, who would it be and why?

This is a tough one. It’s hard to think of one person. It would have to be someone who has songs written for them. I know he writes his own songs, but to write with David Byrne would be fun. I saw this video on YouTube where he performed Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody, and to see someone like him do that song was great. Alternatively, writing a pop song for Tom Waits would be interesting.

Do you have any final words for the LeftLion readers?

I’m not fond of final words. I would like to say that the band really do enjoy Nottingham - the crowds always seem so excitable. It seems to be a city where people love to go out and have a great time. Our next Nottingham gig is the day after Valentines Day. Maybe you could take a date along and break up during the show. Then make up afterwards... that’s always the fun part.

Hot Chip play at Rock City on Monday 15 February. One Life Stand is out Monday 1 February. hotchip.co.uk

Read more interviews like this at leftlion.co.uk/music leftlion.co.uk/issue33

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Our looksisback upon the entire decadeabout with aNottingham special personal to everyone Rob Rob Cutforth feeling incredibly positive in theletter new decade.

We’llwho reads LeftLion.

And silliness if he doesn’t get a card off you, Baby Jesus will cry... soon knock all that out of him, eh readers?

Dearest Reader, It’s a new year, a new decade, and things are looking up in Stab City. Way up.

If there is anything better than receiving those yearly family There’s a shiny newChristmas kick-ass artletters, gallerythen in Itown, don’t aknow what it is. Why, doesn’t new Robin Hood moviewho coming out, a Top to Ten list about with Nottingham in it that has want hear how Aunt Sally’s dog nothing to do with gun crime - do my eyes came through ass surgery, orand how Uncle deceivekidney me? - Forest pushing promotion Frank’s stoneare issues havefor sorted into the Premiership.

We’ve even been picked themselves out, or especially how cousin as a World city.

What hell istwenty going on?

Jimmy just Cup got a new job the making grand a year more than you do, even though In was my opinion, Nottingham is he born the same yearContemporary you finished Uni?

brilliant. Well, as long as you don’t look directly at it for too long. In fact, I find that it looks Christmas letters are great. Aunt Sally better if you treat it like an eclipse. Quick, certainly isn’t writing to you to remind you darting looks are the ticket, or through a tinted how crappy yourIflife islook - she’s keeping welder’s helmet. you at itjust using only you to date on her family’s yourup peripheral vision, it almostexciting looks likeand a car fruitful lives! certainly had Emerald an exciting dealership in I’ve the Wizard of Oz’s City.

and fruitful life, so I thought I would write you a decade’s worth My wife hated the lookof of Christmas it from day letters, one. Like all in one. theDowner, most thoughtful most Brits,Aren’t she’s aI just Debbie so she could look at in Nottingham Contemporary when it was person the world? a hole and see the bad side. “Hmm…that hole lookswhat bad. aToo modern. doesn’t fit the area. I Boy, decade it’sItbeen!

I married can’t believe spent 800quit kajillion pounds on myself a nicethey English girl, smoking, that hole”. the walls up, completed she hated bought my When first house and went I finally it even I was more optimistic.

“Look the twomore. college diplomas I’d been working at that!

There’s lace patterns etched into the a on for years.

And that was just 2000!

After side! Lace, Lace Market. Even I get it!” As the few years of living in Canada, my wife and I construction continued, I kept my rose-tinted didn’t think our lives were thrilling enough, specs on. “Erm, well, maybe green blocks of so we decided to move to England. We were concrete aren’t what I would’ve chosen and it young, weadidn’t kids, England doesn’t does look teensyhave bit blocky, but I’m sure it get gee whiz,Brass?” won’t my willcold be…winters hang on,and, what is that?

Once friends think I am so down, cool and worldly when the scaffolding came even I had to admit Iitcome back withwhat an English accent?

Pip pip, wasn’t exactly you’d call ‘classically Guv’nor! chim it’s cheroo! beautiful’.Chim However, absolutely impossible to ignore - and thank the Baby Haysoos it’s not a Gehry building. it will grow on me.

We sold the houseI’m in sure Calgary and moved Like a big across the green, pond. lacy Sure,fungus. there was a housing

boom just after we sold, and Canadian Once you step in, you what a special money was worth as realise much as Aunt Sally’s place ass-bandages it is and why it than is precisely dog’s actualwhat money - but Nottingham needed.

It’slike free,that it’s popular, the hey ho, a little problem wasn’t going artstop is fantastic and it just like moved a big city to two dynamos likefeels us. We over gallery. Not to mention the fact that it’s 100% anyway and bought a house with money yob-free. OK, maybe 92% yob-free, but that’s borrowed from the in-laws. Fortunately since still pretty good for Nottingham, when you then, there’s been a mortgage crisis and the consider it’s in the middle of town and serves price ofThe our Hockney house has droppedhas to been the point booze. exhibition going where we are in negative equity.

So really, for quite a while and no one’s spray-painted it’s like they neverThe gave any money at all! “bollocks” across Bigus Splash yet; that’s pretty good going if you ask me. I didn’t even

Being a homeowner may be a that, big innit” once hear “Aah kid could’ve painted responsibility, but this is an English semiwhile I was in there. detached home. It’s made of brick and Meanwhile, Dktravel.com named concrete!

Not that flimsy has vinyl, chipboard Nottingham one of condo the “top ten home placeswas to visit and fibreglass my back in 2010”.

Not top ten in the UK; in ones the world. made of. English houses are the the The listing due, in part,built. to theHe’d opening third Little is Pig would’ve be of the ‘Piccie Centre’, but also due to Ridley

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www.leftlion.co.uk/issue32 leftlion.co.uk/issue33

sitting frontHood. of hisDktravel.com fire smokingishis pipe Scott’s in Robin while Bigthe Badauthority Wolf disemboweled his by no the means on best foolish brothers in their houses of places colonial to visit, but it’s obvious they sticks andthan straw. the four years we’ve did more the In thimble-full of owned the house, we’veChannel only had research that the stupid 4 a few ‘Best and Worst places to live in the small problems.

The fence blew down, a pipe UK’ show Howthe many movies burst and did. flooded front room,have the boiler they done about and Ewell, crapped out, theEpsom sewage pipe broke and Kirstie? up, None, many. backed thethat’s roof’show caving in Stick and the walls thatasupdamp your doughy, Tory, are as Brucedimpled, Forsyth’s underpants. irresponsible house-buying ass.

Luckily, English contractors are so reliable As for said film, I hate to say I told you and skilled! We only had serious problems so when it comes to milking Robin with just over half of the ones we had to Hood for city gains, but I bleeding deal with. You would’ve thought that the well told you so. The on-again offhouse issues would’ve been spotted again rumours about this movie have by our surveyor wouldn’t I’m sure been floating aboutyou? for ages, but ithe is did his best he only us a now though, officially Iinmean, production; it charged even grand for a whole work. Peanuts, has a teaser trailerafternoon’s and everything! really. should be happy he showed up at And inWe true Nottingham style, all. when the film was originally being bandied about with the working titlelatter ‘Nottingham’, thedecade complaints The part of the was even better werethe coming in thickThere and fast.

“Oh than beginning. were a few years great,when another Robin HoodOur jobs there webloody were too stable. movie, that’s all need”, were secure, wewe atebloody out, we went to the pub “Russell Crowe?!

Two hours of ‘im and we made pension contributions.

It bored butchering accent, brilliant, us to tears. the Thankfully in 2008, they we were should call it Naddinghayam”. But both relieved of our mundane nine-to-fives now that they’ve changed the title thanks to that silly old Credit Crunch. Even from ‘Nottingham’ to ‘Robin Hood’, better for my wife, marketing was the last people are whinging that it’s not thing company anymore. wanted toThere pay for calledany ‘Nottingham’ is when they were people off, so she literally nolaying pleasing you people.

Thisdidn’t work Not some having any money moviefor is months. going to kick serious meant she could her ‘careerfor break’ at badonkadonk, andspend will do wonders home watching daytime the city.

Mark. My. Words.TV and eating as many bon-bons as she wanted. She wasn’t And as if all stupendous burdened bythat the isn’t problems most women enough, Nottingham hasto been picked experience, like having decide what shoes asbuy a host city for she the 2018 World Cup. to or where should go for drinks If England get couldn’t it. And if afford to do on a Fridayactually night. She Forest actually build a new stadiumsimplified anything.

Her life was completely when none of the fans appear to want and stress-free. She totally didn’t feel like And if the World aone. stir-crazed loser - inCup fact,committee she was an doesn’t change its mind later. But hey absolute delight to be around. ho, even with all those ifs and buts, Leicester and Derby got the proverbial Ishaft. didn’tEven viewugly, my stinking being made redundant as Milton Keynes was apicked setback either; wasthe anbeautiful opportunity over Derby,itand thingin disguise!

I picked myself up, created about that (besides the Schadenfreude)my is own business, didif afurther couplecuts of contracts, shut the fact that to the list are tothe business accepted more money from be made, down, Nottingham simply cannot be cut the in-laws tookleave on athe part-time job. because thatand would whole of theAll East the extra spare time allowed to write Midlands without a World Cupme venue.

Suck on Derby. athat, number of sitcoms and send them off to

producers. None of the scripts were picked In fact, as far as is concerned, up, of course; in football fact no-one got back to me Nottingham is thea place to be this year if things at all, but it was fun exercise nonetheless.

carry on like they are at the minute. With all the drama at Notts County and the utterly brilliant

If there is one thing my wife and I are not, it’s traditionalists; so, it was with this in mind that last Christmas we suggested to her family that we forego the grossly capitalist Christmas tradition of exchanging gifts. The festive season should be about family, not frivolous and boringly bourgeois conventions forced upon us by society. Together we will stick it to The Man, yeah!

It was totally not because we were a couple of broke-asses.

They, being freethinking non-conformists themselves, were only too happy to agree. And we totally didn’t feel like a couple of dicks when we were the only ones to show up giftless.

The best thing about the Noughties was probably the fact that I developed the three nerdiest health conditions a person could possibly acquire: Astigmatism, Carpal Tunnel syndrome and Plantar Fasciitis, which means I have to wear glasses, a wrist football being played at the Ground, strap and special shoes.

AllCity I need now you is can’t say it hasn’t been exciting. I’m sorry, I some orthodontic headgear and eczema and don’t mean to be so flippant about County’s I’ll have the full set. It’s good though, it’s like plight, I’m sure Sven will sort things out there. being back in high school again, which as I mean, look at his track record; he’s nothing if any regular of my column tell you, not reliable. reader Is that my coat?

Why, will thank you. was totally not a difficult time for me.

Even the Post have taken to reporting positive My wife eventually gotI haven’t anotherseen job and crime statistic stories. a Grannybetween we for started enough set-alightus story ages. making In fact, there were money to do stories silly things like invest inon the two positive in December.

One city muggings falling 25% andtoone on youth stock market.

I thought myself, hey,crime this is dropping totime a new It’swhile like I woke the perfect tolow. invest all theupstocks in some strange bizarro Nottingham where

are low. Buy low, sell high, right? Everyone knows that. With that in mind, I bought stock in Lloyds TSB and RBS, ready to cash in when they pull themselves out of trouble.

The government owns them now, and surely they won’t do anything to screw me over. Of course, I’ve only just found out today that both banks are going to be broken up and sold off in pieces, so I can probably kiss that money goodbye, but that’s OK; it’s another nothing makes sense anymore. A place valuable life lesson learned. where Yates’s serves Dom Perignon instead of asskickings, where Nottinghamians don’t Here’s hoping the inches TerrificofTens just as overreact to a few snoware and where exciting.

David Gest gives tips on how not to be an annoying, gormless jerkoff.

Merry Christmas.

Rob xoxo It’s not right I tell ya. Things are just too good...

To read more from Rob canuckistani.com Read more from Rob atvisit canuckistani.com

Words: James Walker

Internet phenomenon Cassetteboy are actually a duo - Michael Bollen and Steve Warlin. Their formula is simple: they find a well known public figure, take everything they have ever said out of context and mash it back together again in video or song format so that they look like an incompetent, egotistical, sexual deviant. Then stick it on albums and YouTube for all to see. We like their style, so we had a chat to Michael...

How did this all start?

Fifteen years ago we made a compilation tape for our friends. Between the music we put funny little snippets of TV and radio shows. As we did more tapes, gradually the funny snippets took over from the music. We looped certain words or sentences and constructed our own jokes from phrases. This was all done on old ghettoblaster tape decks and we broke quite a few through overuse of the record, play and pause buttons. Eventually we started using computers which allowed us to do much more complicated editing, making words from individual syllables, and to write our own music to go between the jokes. We released three albums and two compilations during the noughties, and have now moved on to video editing.

You’ve recently come out and revealed your identities. Why? We kept our identities secret for fear of getting sued. Our entire act is based on copyright infringement and slander. All of our source material is stolen from films, TV and radio and we make celebrities say things about sex and drugs that they would never normally say. Then I wrote a comedy novel, so we decided to reveal the link with Cassetteboy, in case our fans were interested in the book. Of course, there’s no guaranteeing that any of the names we have released are our actual names, so we could still be undercover.

What’s the book about?

Earth Inc is a sci-fi comedy romp, set in the not too distant future, about the power of corporations, loss of privacy and the growing gap between rich and poor. I’m not making it sound very funny, am I? It’s absolutely packed full of jokes though. I’ve read supposedly funny books that just have a host of characters running around for 200 pages, but no actual gags, and I didn’t want to write one of those. I like to think there’s at least one proper joke on every page.

How would you like to be remembered?

I guess it would be nice to be remembered for Cassetteboy, because it’s so silly. It’s just a couple of friends who made some funny tapes once, and the tapes got more and more complicated until the whole thing got way out of hand. Suddenly Charlie Brooker and Jonathan Ross were tweeting about us, we were appearing at the Victoria and Albert Museum dressed as Posh and Becks and were invited on stage at Glastonbury, drunk out of our minds and hitting each other with inflatable hammers.

Any particular favourite moments?

The best times have probably been on stage, when you can actually hear the laughter that you’ve strained and sweated to create. Standing in front of hundreds of people, wearing a monkey mask and a naked suit, whirling my fake, luminous penis around while a cut-up of Deal Or No Deal plays. You get a moment of clarity and realise exactly what you’re doing, then burst out laughing, wondering how on earth it ended up like this.

If you could have anyone in the world as your Valentine, who would it be and why?

Hmmm. It’s hard to think of an answer that isn’t tragic, sexist, or both. So I’ll settle for someone who’s witty enough to think of a funny answer to that question. And who’s got massive knockers.

Michael’s book Earth Inc is available from Picnic Publishing now. Cassetteboy’s third album Carry On Breathing is available to buy from online record stores. cassetteboy.wordpress.com

How long did it take to write?

For some reason I thought writing a book would be easy… boy was I wrong! It took bloody ages. But finishing it definitely gave me the confidence to attempt more ambitious things with Cassetteboy. I probably would have been too daunted to start a massive project like The Bloody Apprentice video, had I not finally finished the book.

How long did it take to do that video?

I don’t know how many hours, but I was working on it on and off for two months. I think I watched around 45 episodes and most of those two or three times. After a while I actually started to talk like Sir Alan…

The Bloody Apprentice works really well because of the visual element. Can you see yourself making more visual recordings or is this an editorial nightmare?

We’re pretty much only going to work in video from now on, partly because we’ve run out of ideas for albums. Video is more limiting if you’re worried about the visual element being seamless, but obviously we’re not bothered about that. The success of that video shows that if the jokes are funny, people don’t mind if the picture jumps around all over the place. In many ways video is less limiting, because it gives you a whole other way to do jokes – some of the funniest bits in that are the reaction shots.

What’s the most difficult part of editing?

To be honest the whole process is a massive pain in the arse. One of the worst parts is when you’ve nearly finished, you just need a word like “because” or “but” to finish one last sentence. So you have to sit and watch an hour-long programme yet again hoping to find that one word. Then you don’t find it, so you have to re-work the final sentence and then watch the whole programme again looking for a different word.

The Nick Griffin vs Question Time video came out really quickly. Did you have any reservations about targeting people like him for fear of retribution?

I didn’t even think about it at the time, but I have had some rather nasty threatening messages since posting it online. I do have another Nick Griffin piece ready that I haven’t released yet, but I don’t think a few threats are going to stop me.

What do you hope to achieve by your work?

With an election coming up I suppose there is a point to be made with the political pieces.

Anything that makes people think twice about voting for the BNP has got to be a good thing, although I think our videos will probably just be preaching to the converted. That said, I think we’re more likely to release David Cameron videos this year than Gordon Brown ones.

The other pieces are just entertainment really. You could look at something like The Bloody Apprentice and say that it’s striking a blow for people who are fed up with shallow reality TV, but fans of the show enjoy it just as much, if not more. Our aim has always been just to make people laugh. The British public always like a bit of smut and innuendo.

Your work seems to be kind of political slapstick. Is humour necessary for making serious points today and, if so, is there a danger that this trivialises serious debate?

If you look at American TV shows like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, you can see that comedy doesn’t have to trivialise serious debate. Those programmes are very funny, but they also make complex political points. The jokes attract viewers who probably wouldn’t watch a straight political show, so yes I do think humour can be an effective means of communication.

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Interview: Al Needham Photo: Dom Henry

You Go, Girlfriend

After nine years as a globe-trotting escort, Nottingham resident Rebecca Dakin has knocked it on the head and written The Girlfriend Experience, an eye-opening autobiography about her former career. Now she’s on a special date with LeftLion and sets the record straight about her old job, while we sit there and wonder if it was a good idea to show up in that old Notts County shirt...

What made you want to become an escort?

I didn’t really know what I wanted to do when I left college, and I needed to earn some money fast as I was in quite a lot of debt and still living at my Mum and Dad’s. There aren’t many businesses that you can set up and run on your own with no outlay; I only spent £7 setting an advert up online. My first job made me £700 and it was a buzz; it didn’t feel like a big deal at all.

turning to drugs and alcohol. It’s not something I’d recommend for younger girls.

Did you realise what you were letting yourself in for?

Well, I’d been very promiscuous in my youth and didn’t really have an issue with having sex with people I didn’t know. When I looked into it further and started working, I realised it could actually be like a real date, and that people would spend quite a lot of money to take me to some really nice restaurants. I thought getting paid to eat would be pretty good.

You must have dealt with a lot of married men. Didn’t you worry about being involved in the shagging-up of a relationship?

It wasn’t all married men; probably about fifty/fifty. And no, I never felt guilty - there had to be problems in the first place for the guy to be calling me. If he was going to cheat and look elsewhere, he was going to do it no matter what. In some ways, I’ve held a lot of marriages together that would otherwise be lost through affairs; I wasn’t ringing them up all the time asking why they hadn’t called.

What did your Mam and Dad think?

They were very disappointed and exasperated, but they didn’t try to talk me out of it. They just accepted that I wasn’t going to be normal like the other three children, and thought “she’ll have a go and will come back with her tail between her legs in a couple of months”. It’s not a taboo subject - my Mum’s a foodie like me, so I’d tell her about the restaurants and the hotels I went to.

How did you feel when people asked you about your job?

Did you lie or sugar-coat it?

Most of the time I just told the truth, but I found it really uncomfortable. The minute you say ‘escort’, some people just think ‘prostitute’, and then I had to try and explain that there was a little more to it than that.

What’s the difference between what you did and the average one-night stand?

Well, obviously I was getting paid, but I spent quite a lot of time getting to know the person via email and phone conversations to check we were compatible, so I knew a little bit before I arranged to meet them. I always told somebody where I was going to be, who I was with and when to expect me back.

Wasn’t it a dangerous job at times?

No, because I always made sure I had my wits about me - unlike certain girls that go out and get really drunk at a weekend, wander off from their friends and sleep with a random guy. But I consider myself incredibly lucky to be unscathed after nine years of escorting; lots of other girls lose it and end up hating men and

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So what is ‘The Girlfriend Experience’?

For me, it means a hired girlfriend. It’s a bit more of an intimate encounter and doesn’t seem so much of a commercial transaction. It’s like a blind date, where I was genuinely interested in the person I was spending the evening with.

“My friends admire and respect me for having the balls to do what I did - they find my work stories a bit more interesting than theirs” Most books and films on escorting are either unbelievably positive or relentlessly grim. What’s your reality?

I had some amazing experiences; I’ve travelled the world and been to hotels and restaurants that I could only ever dream of. I had a great time and met a lot of interesting people, but it’s not the same for everyone; I can only speak from my own experiences.

Did you exchange gory details with your friends?

Oh yeah! I’m a woman - we do all the nitty-gritty. A lot of my friends admire and respect me for having the balls to do what I did, they find my work stories a bit more interesting than theirs...

So why write a book?

I’d read Belle de Jour and I wasn’t impressed. It fuelled misconceptions about escorts and that it was just about men wanting sex. That wasn’t how things were for me and I wanted to set the record straight. There are many different levels of escorting; you can just have sex with men, or you can have longer dates that offer more of the companionship side of things.

Why didn’t you write it under a pseudonym?

Because I’m not ashamed of what I’ve done. And because I’ve finished doing it. I’ve closed down that chapter of my life. I found writing it very therapeutic; I tried to understand the dynamics of my family and the reasons why I went into such a job.

What kind of feedback are you getting from your former clients?

It’s been really good, actually. One said he read it with apprehension, intrigue and much fondness. The danger now is that people think they know me really well having read it.

Clients I’d seen for a long time suddenly feel like they’re on a different level with me - a more personal level. On the other hand, one client has just written to me saying how disappointed he was that I hadn’t written about him…

Ever fallen for any of them?

I never fell in love with any of them. There was this one guy who was single, and we quite liked each other and met up three or four times, but it just didn’t work out. I’ve had a few guys that have fallen for me and I’ve had to stop seeing them; it’s quite a fine line. I never kept in touch with people between dates - the only contact was to arrange a date.

How above board were you? Did you pay taxes, for example?

Of course I did. I was registered as a self-employed escort, so the Inland Revenue knew exactly what I was doing for a living. It was like any other self-employed business; when I wasn’t going out on dates, I was spending time looking for work, updating my website, and so on. I could go a couple of months without having a job - I’d get enquiries, but there wasn’t anybody that I wanted to see.

And what was the scabbiest place you were taken to?

I like Pizza Hut, don’t get me wrong - but I got taken to the one in Stratford in London and there was piss all over the floor of the toilets and it was disgusting. For a dinner date that was... yeah... not great.

The Girlfriend Experience is available in bookshops now, from John Blake Publishing. thegirlfriendexperience.tv

February 4th - 21st

Naomi Terry In a city not too far away...

Preview: February 2nd 6-8pm

March 10th - April 6th

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Closing event: 21st February, 7pm Matthew Robins performing Flyboy

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Icebreaker have been at the forefront of the contemporary music scene for 20 years.

Programme features two classic 20th century works. Gavin Bryars’s Jesus Blood and Philip Glass’s Music with Changing Parts as well as the world premiere of a new work Disposable Dissonances by leading Irish composer Donnacha Dennehy.

Aston Thriller words: Adrian Bhagat photo: David Baird

Until recently Matt Aston was producer and programmer at the Lakeside Arts Centre. Whilst there he directed several successful productions including the acclaimed Retirement of Tom Stevens by Billy Ivory, The Kiss by Glyn Cannon and Empty Bed Blues by Stephen Lowe. He’s currently considered to be one of the rising stars of British theatre, but he’s not exactly a luvvie - as his Christmas production of children’s favourite Flat Stanley pays testament. We spoke to him about his career so far...

Are you originally from Nottingham?

No, I’m actually from Walsall. I came to read Communication Studies at Trent Polytechnic in 1992. I thought it would be media studies related but it was mostly sociology and psychology. Over two and a half years I didn’t do a stroke of work and then in the last six months had to work hard to get a degree. I was going to move to London or go back home but at the end of 1995 I got a few running jobs at Carlton Studios and I ended up staying here.

So how did you get involved in the theatre?

After I finished university I was on the dole and doing odd jobs for the best part of a year. Then I got a Saturday job at The Nottingham Playhouse minding the stage door. That turned into a three-month contract on a community project and as one contract ran out, another would appear. I used to sit in on rehearsals and sit backstage and watch how everything worked and then this job came up as a producer. At the same time I put together some half-hour mini-shows that I directed.

I got to know directors and actors and more about how things worked. Then the African arts producer left so I ended up getting that job, putting on hip-hop shows which was pretty bizarre. After that I got a job as front of house manager.

You’ve played a big part in establishing the Lakeside Arts Centre as a theatre venue in Nottingham...

When the Lakeside was first built I was approached to work there on secondment, to help open it for the first few seasons.

I programmed a lot of stuff that I produced and directed, starting with Kenneth Alan Taylor in Krapp’s Last Tape and luckily that worked out really well. The programming was always done in conversation with my boss Shona Powell (Director of the Centre) but she never really stopped me doing what I wanted to do and luckily they were mostly happy with what I did. I think she appreciates the relationships I have with writers.

Were you interested in the theatre before you came to Nottingham?

I went to audition for Oliver! at the Birmingham Repertory Theatre when I was eight. I learned all the words to the Artful Dodger song Consider Yourself and I queued for two-anda-half hours. It was my go next and then they said “Sorry we’ve got to clear the house” so I didn’t get to audition and I was absolutely devastated! As a teenager I used to go to the theatre quite a bit with my Mum. I can’t act and I’m not formally trained or anything. To be honest I never thought I’d work in theatre but I had a vague idea that I wanted to work in telly or film. Theatre for me is not just about good actors and good words, it’s also about that moment that you can’t capture on television or in a film.

How did you come to direct Billy Ivory’s first play, The Retirement of Tom Stevens?

He came to see a play of mine and he really loved it. He told me he’d got this script that he’d written ten years ago and his producer and his agent and everyone else told him it was a stage play rather than a film, so he offered it to me. The rehearsals were hell and Billy was really stressed. We had two nights of previews which went well and they were followed by the press performance. The first half of that night was probably the worst hour I’ve ever spent in the theatre, with the actors all over the place forgetting and fluffing their lines. I looked round to Billy and he was clutching his seat and clenching his teeth.

He was looking rough as he had this football superstition where, because the preview had gone well, he was wearing the same clothes for every night of the play.

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It was the only press night ever where I didn’t go down to the bar to chat to the critics. Billy said we had to go backstage to talk to the cast but I wouldn’t do it, as I knew that would make them more nervous. Fortunately they turned it around and the second half was probably the best hour of theatre I’ve ever seen. I’d like to turn Tom Stevens into a film, but Billy’s a bit reticent about that because it works as a stage play and he doesn’t want to spoil it.

dealing with platonic love, friendship, war, loss and getting old. It’s about his Dad being in the RAF and together with Tom Stevens it is part of what will become the Southwell Trilogy. Early next year I’ll be directing a new play about D.H. Lawrence by Stephen Lowe, which will be the second half of Empty Bed Blues. It will continue the themes and use the same set, so maybe in the future they’ll be shown together. As Billy says “A proper writer is Stephen - good with words”.

What are you working on at the moment?

I left the Lakeside in July to work as a freelancer, with an agreement to come back and do four or five shows. At the moment I’m working on A Day In The Death of Joe Egg at the Playhouse. I’ve never seen it produced but we did a reading and that’s when a play comes alive for me. The play is really dark, the story of a couple raising a child with cerebral palsy.

Laura McEwen, who also worked on Smile at the Lakeside, is doing the design and I’ve cast the lead - Mark Benton. He’s the Nationwide Building Society guy in their TV adverts.

Are you ever tempted to follow other creative types and move to London?

A lot of people have said the streets are paved with gold in London, but I find things are a bit incestuous there and people all want to do the same things. In Nottingham you can be just as creative, if not more so, than in London. You get to work with great people here - to me Billy Ivory, Stephen Lowe and Amanda Whittington are three of the best writers in the country. I’m certainly not going anywhere for a while yet.

In May I’ll be directing another play by Billy Ivory. I’ve been trying to get him to write another play and he came up with the idea for Bomber’s Moon about a year ago. It’s a play

A Day in the Death of Joe Egg plays at Nottingham Playhouse from Friday 19 March to Saturday 3 April. Bomber’s Moon plays at the Lakeside Arts Centre in May. Read more theatre reviews and interviews at leftlion.co.uk/theatre

Steely Don words: Jared Wilson image: Adam Poole

Words: Jared Wilson Image: Adam Poole

Whether he’s presenting bizarre solutions to social problems on Five Live’s The Mark Steel Solution, casting an eye over historical figures for The Mark Steel Lectures on BBC 2, writing for the Independent, churning out an alternative history of the Labour Party or presenting one-off stand-up diatribes about the city he’s in, Mark Steel is always enlightening and always entertaining...

When you last played Nottingham, the crowd berated you for not knowing that we’d burnt down our own castle in protest against the Duke of Newcastle’s opposition to the Reform Act of 1832...

I remember that with great affection. It was a Sunday night and the gig was packed. It was also the night that Lewis Hamilton won the world motor racing championship. I don’t know about ‘berating’ but it was great fun. I think I said something like, “You started off brilliantly in the 1300s with your Robin Hood but from there on you went all downhill. You had the castle where the royalists launched the civil war and then you were terrible in the miners’ strike.” Then someone shouted out about the burning down of the castle. What a truly excellent thing for people to heckle about at a comedy gig!

We wanted to ask you about the miners’ strike. At football matches against Yorkshire teams, we always get called ‘scabs’...

Really? That’s something, isn’t it? Well, if Gillingham play at Crystal Palace they get “you all live in a caravan and you’re all a bunch of pikeys” and all that sort of thing. It’s just that a place gets labelled with the easiest possible stereotype. When Manchester City came down to Nottingham the week after Harold Shipman was convicted, they all started singing “Did a doctor kill your Gran?” The sheer ability to sink to those sorts of depths I thought was genius.

Do you think we let the country down during the miners’ strike?

Well, that’s a complicated question. The strike started in South Yorkshire and the pickets were bringing people out from other areas. I think the pickets were having some effect at that time in Nottingham, but there was a massive police presence which had a real impact on the ability of anyone to try and bring the Nottingham miners out. In the seventies there were local wage agreements that had been accepted by the Union. Nottingham miners were able to produce more coal - even though it was worse quality - and therefore they were actually paid more than others. So they got got a sense of feeling better off and not being a part of the Union as much. I think those wage bridges

undermined the sense of collectivism throughout the NUM. Bloody hell - I’m going back to things I’ve not really thought about for twenty years here...

Last year you did Mark Steel is in Town, with a whole set about the place you were performing. Seems quite a challenge...

I think most comics like to do something about the town in their sets because it shows that you’re thorough and interested. But obviously I took this idea a lot further than most. I have to do it all again now, as we have a new series in the pipeline. The first one is in Dartford, in Kent. Funnily enough, it’s harder to get started with those sorts of places but the really nondescript places are, in some way, the fun ones because they’re more challenging and satisfying. You think there’s nothing interesting about a place, but then you scratch around and realise there is.

How do you research all the places?

I go to the town and have a wander about. Then I get any books that have been written about the place. It’s amazing how every single town has a local historian who, for absolutely no benefit to themselves, has spent three years of their life writing up something like The History of Railways in Didcott. They are magnificently tedious! I read one book about the history of a signal box in Kent - a whole book about just one signal box! I had to buy that because you think that this bloke’s going to be quite jokey about it, but he’s not. It really is just the history of this signal box and nothing interesting happens at all. Anyway, I do a bit of that and then spend a couple of days looking at the internet and look at all the news stories. Then I go back there again for another visit. But there are loads of things about every town that are quite distinct, really.

So are we going to get a Tory government after the next election?

It looks like it, doesn’t it? I sort of still hope that Labour do manage to win, but the real motor of change is from below.

I think what’s really lacking in society at the moment is organisation to protest. There are still a great many people who feel some sort of resentment about the way that society is run as the Facebook Rage Against The Machine campaign proved.

I wouldn’t exaggerate it - it’s just a song - but there’s no sense of strategy or organisation with the people who are angry about the people that run society, so nothing much happens. It will all start to come together when people become more than a disparate group of annoyed people and start to become a unified group that can discuss strategies and so on. Then the world can start to change, in some way or another, at least.

You did a lecture on our very own Lord Byron. What are your favourite things about him?

Just his utter zest for life. His was a life of someone who just thought that every aspect should be up to the maximum. No matter what it was: if he was going to have a love affair, it was going to be the most emotional love affair ever. If he was going to have a one-night stand, it was going to be the most traumatic, ridiculous, eventful one-night stand. His was just the most astonishing life and embodied passion. If he’d been around now he would have backed Rage Against The Machine for Christmas number one, too...

Read a longer version of this interview at leftlion.co.uk/literature marksteelinfo.com

When can we expect the new series?

I think it starts in April - I hope it’s not earlier than that because I’ve got to write the bloody thing! It’ll be on Radio 4 again - I’d love it to be on telly but that depends on the telly people letting me. It’s going to be on some download system or something, not the ‘listen again’, but something where you can actually download it. leftlion.co.uk/issue33

13

ARTIST PROFILES

If you are a Nottingham-based artist and would like to be profiled in this section, please email frances@leftlion.co.uk

Some people seem to have a grudge against graffiti. But here at LeftLion we appreciate a bit of colour on our streets, and while none of us particularly like seeing someone’s name or a tag of a penis thrown up everywhere, we do admire a well-worked piece on an otherwise blank wall.

So this issue, for your reading pleasure, we got in touch with four of the best of the current crop of Nottingham’s (legal) street artists.

Kid30 (aka smallkid)

Kaption One

Describe your work …

On walls I mainly paint characters. My canvas work is a lot more varied. I have a different pen style and a paint style and the subject matter is based around personal experiences, different people, animals and things that are interesting me at the time.

What drives you as an artist?

When I started, my work was driven by being part of a youth culture that was very free and anti-establishment, where I could express myself how I wanted to. From this I turned my artwork into something positive that is artistically and publicly recognised and accepted within the community. This gives me a driving force to keep being creative.

What inspires you?

Being really curious about odd things and having small man syndrome.

What’s the best thing about being a street artist?

Your clothes get ruined with paint, your car gets ruined with paint, you spend wasted weekends travelling and aching from going up and down ladders. You get beef from other writers, your work never stays up for long, you hang around in grotty areas, you think about painting all the time. You’re skint and hanging around in the freezing cold and loads of people seem to be better than you!

Tell us about a recent project or goal…

My highlight of 2009 was painting at Glastonbury with the rest of the Oxygen Thievez crew and working on the biggest collection of zombies ever in one space at The Big Chill Festival. My goal for 2010 is to put on a personal exhibition, which I have been working on for a while now, based around some of my canvas work. I’m off to Australia in January and February to escape the cold and to hook up with people there for a few projects. I’m looking forward to painting more walls in different cities and trying to keep true to myself and my art.

VERT

What’s your favourite colour?

I’m well into my colour combinations, like greys, whites and pinks or greens and yellows. I don’t really have a favourite colour though, but if I had to choose I’d say gun metal grey. I’ve not made this up it’s an official colour that is used in the Royal Air Force for painting planes!

If you were allowed to paint anywhere in Nottingham, where would you choose?

I would like to paint a really high wall on a cherry picker, as I’ve never done that before.

The cooling towers at Ratcliffe-on-Soar Power Station would be cool - the bigger the wall the better! So if you have got a big spare wall and you want it painting, drop me an email and I’ll come and paint a massive monkey on it! smallkid.co.uk

Tali What can people expect when they see your work?

An adventure into the realms of expanding letter shapes, creating different connections, angles and textures. I try to explore the third dimension and beyond.

What inspires your work?

The fact that there’s always something else out there to be discovered. I like going on adventures and meeting others artists who are on a similar wavelength.

What’s the best thing about being a street artist?

That you don’t have to take yourself so seriously. There’s a whole lot of fun to be had, just go out and get it!

What’s your favourite thing?

At the moment I’m loving my new trainers.

If you were allowed to paint anywhere in Nottingham, where would you choose?

The trams. It would be great to put a little colour back into the city.

What’s the best thing about being a street artist?

The diversity of the art form. It comes in all shapes and sizes and never gets stale. The people and the experiences keep me on my toes.

AD-

Tell us about a recent project or goal…

A few weeks ago my friend Alex Rubes and I held a live illustration and graffiti event at the Refectory Gallery on Carlton Road. It was a free event that hosted graffiti artists and illustrators from around the whole of the Midlands. It was a big success, though at the cost of an almighty hangover. Fun! What’s good about being a Nottingham-based artist?

Not the weather! I’m Notts born and bred. Artistically there is plenty going on for a city of this size and the diversity of people and venues makes it a good place to work in.

Which other artists do you admire?

I always admire the other members of my crew, Oxygen Thievez. I also have admiration for any artist who is passionate about being creative and keeping it real.

If you were allowed to paint anywhere in Nottingham, where would you choose?

I’d paint the whole area where the old Broadmarsh ramps used to stand. While I’m at it, I would build a few new ramps and it would be like the good old days. oxygenthievez.com

Onga B Describe your work to newcomers...

I like working with letters and forms, abstracting their shapes and turning them into different, sometimes unrecognisable, objects. I like to see craftmanship in art, so I try and push myself. Techniques and delivery with paint is also important to me. I have worked with organic shapes, but right now I like straight lines. I also do a lot of collaborative painting with my crew, Must Try Harder. This is generally a concept conceived by one artist, and then we all input further ideas, building the concept together like a giant jigsaw puzzle.

What drives you as an artist?

Perfecting ideas, trying new things and trying to improve on my own techniques with the other artists I’m working with at the time. A location, a colour, a concept and the media in one form or another all inspire me.

Tell us about a recent project or goal…

As always, we all Must Try Harder.

What’s good about being a Nottingham-based artist?

There are some good people making a lot of big moves in our local scene right now.

What’s your favourite colour?

At the moment I like Montana electric blue, but it changes a lot.

If you were allowed to paint anywhere in Nottingham, where would you choose?

I’d love to paint all boards or hoardings put up in the city that cover building sites or disused spaces. Or just give us a tram! flickr.com/musttryharder

To learn more about Nottingham’s Street Art scene, check out Kid30 and Kaption One’s conversation online at leftlion.co.uk/art 14

leftlion.co.uk/issue33

words: Beane photo: Debbie Davies

Danny Berman - aka Red Rack’em - is a busy man these days. After a summer of festival appearances and putting out production on a plethora of underground labels, he can count Gilles Peterson and Rob Da Bank among his fans.

He also has his club-rocking, genre-busting international DJ sets and a huge fortnightly podcast to take care of.

And this year is set to be even busier...

What brought you to Notts?

I was a non-linear TV editor in the late nineties, having the time of my life in Liverpool working for the dodgy cable channel L!VE TV. I’ve actually been News Bunny, but that’s a different story.

I got a job editing corporate films for Boots and Experian so I moved here in 1999, but I wasn’t really cut out for the corporate life and got the sack after a month. Years of unemployment, dance music and low-quality housing ensued.

Why are you called Red Rack’em?

I was inspired by artists like Yam Who, Red Astaire and Blackbeard so I put out a lot of unofficial hip-hop remixes from 2004 to 2006 and that style was dubbed ‘pirate soul’ by the press. Bootlegs were called ‘booties’ in the shops. Booty is pirate treasure. I loved Tintin books as a child. I can’t say any more than that about it as this is a family magazine.

You’ve played in nearly every venue in town. What do you make of the Nottingham scene?

In the early noughties, I used to go out all the time to nights like Detonate, DiY, Pure Filth and in more recent years I went to a lot of the early dubstep parties like Heavyweight Rocksteady plus disco/house night Basement Boogaloo and the early Futureproof parties. But I don’t really go out much in Nottingham anymore as I am away playing gigs most weekends and I really feel my age when I go out these days.

My take on Notts right now is that it’s probably just as exciting for people under twenty as it was for me when I was going out all the time in 1999 to 2004. But it does seem like there’s a lot less variety on offer these days in terms of venues and musical styles. I think the types of music being offered to young people in the whole of the UK these days are increasingly commercial and everything seems really dumbed down.

I found it inspiring when I played the last set at this year’s Big Chill at the radio station as a lot of the massive crowd were under twenty and they were all going mad to vintage house

from Chez Damier and ten-year-old garage from Zed Bias. My set got recorded and hosted on the Big Chill website so it’s great to have a permanent record of that night. You can check out that set at leftlion.co.uk/redrackembigchill What do you think was the turning point for you in busting out of Notts?

I’ve released a wide variety of music in the last few years on many different labels that all have their own promotional reach, which has brought me to the attention of a much wider audience. It’s been a bit of a snowball effect. I played at Snowbombing, Glastonbury, Bestival and Big Chill, which means my music is being promoted to hundreds of thousands of people.

My remixes of The Revenge, Tricky and the Joubert Singers have been really popular - Greg Wilson, one of the biggest names on the disco/edit scene, played my remix of the Joubert’s gospel disco classic Stand On The Word in nearly every one of his DJ sets in 2009.

“I wasn’t really cut out for the corporate life and got the sack after a month. Years of unemployment, dance music and low-quality housing ensued.”

That remix got you a lot of airplay on Radio 1...

I have had a lot of support for my Red Rack’em, Hot Coins and Marlinspike projects on Radio 1 from Gilles Peterson, Rob Da Bank, Mary Anne Hobbs and even Zane Lowe. Gilles invited me to play at the Worldwide Awards in January and I went on straight after Jazzanova to a full house at Cargo in London, which was an amazing experience and my set was broadcast on Radio 1 the following week.

Your Smugglers Inn podcasts go out fortnightly on Nottsbased internet radio station myhouse-yourhouse. How important has that been for getting your name out?

It’s been going for a couple of years, and gets over 700 downloads a fortnight, which has helped me build an international audience. Sourcing two hours of brand new quality music and guest mixes every fortnight isn’t easy, but I‘ve been lucky enough to build up a really strong network of labels and producers contributing tracks and also listeners who want to hear new music. The most satisfying thing for me has been the community side of things - artists remixing each other’s tracks after hearing them on the show, and certain labels are using it as an A&R hub to find new tunes to sign. I also really enjoy promoting other DJs on the show with the guest mixes, which brings a fresh new twist to the show as well.

Is any new material set to drop in 2010? Will we be blessed with a debut album?

Well, I’ve got loads more singles on the way and a couple of albums on the go. I have got another Red Rack’em EP on Untracked out in February which has been getting Radio 1 play from Gilles. Then I’ve got EPs coming out on Detroit house label Undertones, Ctrl//Alt//Delete’s new label Shift plus the hot new house label Home Taping.

Album-wise, I’m working on the Marlinspike album right now which is a hybrid of 2-step garage and Detroit house/techno with vocals - I’m hoping to get that finished mid-2010.

I’ve also just had the Hot Coins album (which is on the new wave, post-punk disco tip) signed to a very exciting new label, so I will be putting that together in the next few months as well.

So that’s this year taken care of…

Smugglers Inn is broadcast fortnightly, Wednesday nights 7-9pm at myhouse-yourhouse.net. The podcast is available from redrackem.com - or search iTunes for ‘Smugglers Inn’. myspace.com/redrackem

Red Rack’em is playing at the LeftLion Trinity Square Extravaganza on Saturday 13 February.

For more info visit leftlion.co.uk/trinity leftlion.co.uk/issue33

15

FIGHT CLUB It’s a concept that, to most people, evokes brutality, sadism and horror. Two men entering a cage and beating each other bloody until one can’t stand up anymore. That’s not a TV sport, it’s ancient Roman stuff - that’s the end of civilisation, right?

But, the rising popularity of mixed martial arts, in both the US and now the UK, is undeniable. Many see it as the natural heir to boxing as TV’s top combat sport and after a little investigation you can see why. For starters boxers can actually compete in it if they are so inclined - but against wrestlers, kickboxers, karate masters and dozens of other fighters from various disciplines. It’s hard on the eye at first, but also exciting, intriguing and competitive - and there is no match fixing to be had here.

words: Jared Wilson photos: Matt Dalton, Dom Henry and Lee Whitehead

Nottingham is currently the home of some of the best in the business and already a well-trodden route to the Americanbased Ultimate Fighting Championship (the leading world MMA body and already a multi-billion dollar business). Thanks to trailblazers like Dan ‘The Outlaw’ Hardy and Paul ‘Semtex’ Daley - there is a tangible and growing scene in our city and behind those bigger names stand a host of up-and-coming fighters. Read what some of them say about the sport and it might just change your preconceptions...

“I’ve gone from being a scumbag going nowhere, to a good fighter and a family man. I don’t go out anymore, there are better things in life than that.

The sport has changed my life!”

“There needs to be more education and more workshops out there for the kids. You tend to find that people who do combat sports are much calmer and nicer people for it.”

Michelle Baron is a 28-year-old boxer from Bestwood. She trains at Majestic boxing academy and her current fight record is a mixed bag with one win, one draw and one loss.

What would you say to people who think ladies shouldn’t be fighters?

Times change. Women never used to be allowed to go to work.

If we were fighting men then I could see problems. But I don’t think women should try and be masculine, there’s no reason to do that. Just be a lady and treat it as a sport.

How often do you train in an average week?

I do my running in the morning before work. Then I work nine ‘til five and go to the gym afterwards. I take every Saturday off and then on a Sunday I do a long run. It all pretty much stays the same for me in the build up to a fight as well.

How do you mentally prepare for a fight?

I’m usually quite relaxed. Mentally I think the best thing to do is to stay calm and be confident in your own abilities. I’m a Christian as well, so I pray a lot.

What background do you have in combat sports?

Aside from the boxing I did Muay Thai, but I fractured my shin in an accident. I also do a bit of Brazilian Jujitsu with some friends who come down from Chesterfield - we show them our boxing techniques and then they show us some of theirs.

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leftlion.co.uk/issue33

Michelle ‘Warrior Queen’ Baron

How did you first get into this?

Boxing is something I’ve been into since I was about two years old. I remember it was a treat to stay up late and watch it on TV with my parents - and growing up I remained a good observer of it. I was bullied when I was younger and when I got to about fifteen I decided I wasn’t having it anymore and knocked a boy out in school after he bashed my head on a wall.

So, after that, my parents sent me to some classes to get my anger out.

What crosses your mind before you head out to the ring?

I always hope that I won’t break my nose as that wouldn’t look nice. I get nervous about people watching me - I’m probably more scared of tripping up on the carpet on the way in than I am of the fight itself. But once I’m in there and the bell goes I just switch off.

Do you have any pre-fight rituals?

The day before I always have a Dead Sea salt bath. Then on the morning of the fight I always get my hair done. But these are just because they make me feel better rather than for superstitious reasons.

What music do you come out to?

A track called Done With It, a charity song by various Nottingham rappers against gun and knife crime.

While out in town do you find yourself sizing up other people and deciding whether you could have ‘em?

No. When I was younger maybe and when I worked on nightclub doors - as I felt I had something to prove. But now I’m much calmer. If I saw someone getting bullied or beaten up then I’d have to intervene, but I wouldn’t try and hurt anyone.

If you could fight any celebrity who would you choose?

David Beckham - he needs to man up. I don’t like footballers anyway and he’s too much of a girl. I wouldn’t really fight him though; I’d probably just give him a bitchslap.

Anything else you want to say to our readers?

Thanks to my coach Barrington Brown, Nash at King of The Ring and Clayton Byfield, founder and director of Done With It. I think us fighters could all do with more support from Nottingham as a whole. And the reason I’m supporting antigun and knife charities is because we’ve had too much street violence in this city. Last year one of my friends, Bernard Langton, was shot and killed on a night out and left behind two kids and partner. There needs to be more education and more workshops out there for the kids. You tend to find that people who do combat sports are much calmer and nicer people for it.

For more information on the charity Michelle supports visit donewithit.co.uk

Jimmy Wallhead is a 25-year-old member of the East Midlands-based Team Rough House, a feared MMA crew known for producing well-respected welterweight fighters. He currently holds three titles (House of Pain British Champion, Cage Gladiator British Champion and Clash of Warriors World Champion) and is ranked in the top ten welterweights in both the UK and Europe. His professional record currently stands at nineteen wins and five losses.

How often do you train in an average week?

I train at least once a day when I’m not fighting. But in the build-up to a fight I take twelve weeks out and then increase the schedule to two or three times a day. Sunday is always my day of rest though.

Is this a full-time job for you now?

Yes. I’ve been full-time for almost three years on the British circuit and picked up two British and one world title. That got me noticed in America and I’ve just signed a deal with a company called Bellator. So now my fights will go out to 150million in America on NBC, CBS and Telemundo. It’s a pretty big deal… there’s a lot of money at stake.

Bellator are different to all the other MMA promoters - the others just do single fights - whereas they do eight-man tournaments. The promoters don’t choose who gets the title shots, you have to beat everyone else to get one.

How do you mentally prepare for a fight?

Just by training hard. Training is harder than the actual bouts – the fights themselves are fun. But training is miserable and you have to do it every day.

I don’t even watch my old fights as it would be cringeworthy.

Obviously you gain experience throughout your fights, but mentally you grow as well. The best things that have

happened to me are my losses - I’ve come back mentally stronger and won eleven out of my last twelve.

The coaches around me are amazing and study the other fighters I’m up against. They know everything about them in advance - when he’s going to jab, when he’s going to shoot they could probably tell me how many times they blink during a bout.

What background do you have in combat sport?

I started judo aged seven. I’d watched The Karate Kid and loved it, but my mum took me to judo by mistake. There was a guy called Rocky there who used to work with my dad down the pit and he got me to stay. Within a few weeks I was winning in competitions and ended up winning seven titles and eventually competing in European championships.

How did you first get into MMA? After I stopped judo I went off the rails and got in with a bad crowd. But eventually I started training again and was offered a fight on my previous credentials. At first I was awful, throwing windmill punches, but I won a few like that as well as getting my ass kicked a couple of times. Then Dan Hardy and Owen Comrie came to me and said: “You’re a bit of a nutcase, you’ve got a lot of aggression and you don’t have any MMA skill, but we can work on that. Come train with us.”

I never looked back. It’s just spiralled ever since. I’ve gone from being a scumbag going nowhere, to a good fighter and a family man - I’m expecting my second kid soon, I don’t go out drinking anymore, there are better things in life than that and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. It’s wicked! The sport has changed my life!

What crosses your mind before you head to the ring?

It’s a lot of tunnel vision. There’s are nerves and fear and I’ve lost fights because of those. But you grow and learn to control your fear and use it as a positive. When you realise he’s scared as well and probably has more to lose than me - he’s a pretty boy and I’m an ugly looking bastard - then you’re ready.

‘Judo’ Jimmy Wallhead Do you have any pre-fight rituals?

Yeah I have, but not as many anymore. At one point I wore the same shorts for five fights running. I do a lot of stretching, hit a few pads and then squirt water into my face to keep my head cool.

What music do you come out to?

Some promotions don’t let you come out to anything with copyright for obvious reasons. But for the last few fights I’ve come out to The Contender theme from the Sylvester Stallone TV show. It’s pretty epic and gets me going.

While out in town do you find yourself sizing up other people and deciding whether you could have ‘em?

Not at all. You can’t tell anything from a man’s size - looks can be deceptive.

What do you do when you’re not training or fighting?

Training and fighting is pretty much all I do to be honest.

Though on off days I spend a lot of time with my daughter playing princesses and watching films like Enchanted and The Little Mermaid.

If you could fight any celebrity who would you choose?

I don’t really dislike many people to be honest. Is Alex Reid considered a celebrity yet? I’d fight him. I spent a bit of time with him in Vegas and he’s a good guy. A bit weird at times, but he’s been in this sport since the beginning. In theory he should be the best MMA fighter in the UK. But for some reason it’s never quite clicked for him. He’s a tough dude and I respect him as a fighter and the exposure he’s got on Celebrity Big Brother can only be good for the sport. But yeah I’d give fighting him a go.

Find out more about Jimmy at jimmywallheadmma.co.uk

leftlion.co.uk/issue33

17

“For the last few minutes before a fight I’m just buzzing to get in there, but that’s the fun of it. If you didn’t have that feeling then it wouldn’t mean anything.”

Mahmood ‘Persian Pride’ Besharate Mahmood Besharate is a 31-year-old taekwando specialist from Beeston who trains at the Cobra Gym and Sport Nottingham. Until recently he fought in K-1 tournaments where he won nine fights and lost three. He then switched to MMA where he won his first, and to date only, fight.

How often do you train?

Usually twice every day. I do jogging, thai boxing, sparring, wrestling, running and loads of work on my cardio. I always take Saturday as my day of rest.

Is this a full-time job for you?

I wish it was, but I need to work on the side as well. I’m an engineer by trade, but right now I’m out of work so it gives me even more time to train.

Mahmood and Michelle are both scheduled to fight at King of The Ring 14 at Rock City on Sunday 28 February. For more information search for ‘King of the Ring’ on Facebook. Tickets are priced £10 - £25 and are available to buy from Sport Nottingham on 08700 347022.

How do you mentally prepare for a fight?

A week before I try to cut everything down and concentrate on my techniques. I’m quite a relaxed guy, even before a fight - but when I step into the ring it’s a totally different story.

What background do you have in combat sports?

I’d been doing taekwando for over fifteen years. In 2006 I was in a fight against someone who was really aggressive. I was beating him and so his brother jumped into the ring and tried to knock me out. After that I decided it wasn’t the sport for me, so I trained with Owen Comrie and started to win quite a few fights. In MMA you can use all different types of styles as tools and it makes it more exciting - you constantly learn a lot of new things.

What crosses your mind before heading out to face your opponent?

For the last few minutes before a fight I’m just buzzing to get in there, but that’s the whole fun of it. If you didn’t have that feeling then it wouldn’t mean anything - you can use those nerves to make you perform better.

Do you have any pre-fight rituals?

Not really. I just try to relax as much as I can because once you’re there you’ve got to go through with it.

What music do you come out to?

I’ve had quite a few different tunes, but my favourite is Jesus Walks by Kanye West. That’s my knockout tune!

Who are your favourite other sports people?

Floyd Mayweather Jr is my current favourite. From the old school I used to love Bruce Lee - he was my biggest inspiration when I was a kid! Oh and Masutatsu Oyama was an amazing guy.

While out in town do you find yourself sizing up other people and deciding whether you could have ‘em?

No. I’m not into trouble and I’d just walk away from it. Most of us don’t go down town drinking anyway - it would be bad for our performances.

What do you do when you’re not fighting?

I like having fun with girls. But I try not to let it get in the way of my training.

They say love and hate are intertwined. Is there anything erotic about fighting?

No. I don’t really know how to answer that. But no, there’s nothing sexual about fighting for me.

If you could fight any celebrity who would you choose?

I can’t really think of any. I get on with everyone as long as they’re cool with me.

What about Floyd Mayweather Jr? Nah man. He’s in a different class to me - he’s gifted! Even if I trained for another 200 years then I wouldn’t be able to catch him. And I’m not going to live that long.

Anything else you want to say to our readers?

Thanks to all the people who helped me out to get me where I am right now. My Thai boxing coach Owen Comrie, Nathan Leverton from Shootfighters, my condition coach Guy Baker and King of The Ring promoter Nash Somani. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.

leftlion.co.uk/issue33

19

Write Lion

Friday 5 February sees Write Lion present poetry from Leicester’s Word! at The Arts Organisation.

They’re really good (find out more at myspace.com/wordleicester). Come on down and introduce yourself. It’s free entry all night and you can even bring your own booze!

We’ve also got our fourth Write Lion podcast out in early February and interviews with the authors reviewed below online at leftlion.co.uk/literature

As You Pass

Shots Of The City

I’ll have mine fried thanks

What will you make of these circles the sun has made, each in its own perfect halo of light?

A spider might stop, flinch, make itself small for shadows; a fish choose just one, welcome its limits; a heron, gaunt on guard, dive into its centre, clean; a kitten pat its paw inside each one all morning long.

And you? What will you make of these circles the sun has made?

Crawl through them then, nose them apart.

Look, they are reforming, unfazed, even as you pass.

Mopping up A small room in Shoreditch Where things got trashed Where the dirt of the cloud of the city Particles of poisonous detritus Settled like fallout White linen peppered and flecked With cancerous black canker I still find bits, here & there

Yolkless, cracked with intent of human destruction.

Sparrow’s spoken of the uncommon, it’s softness remnant of polished metal, of feathers that shine under street lights, reveal no lack of lustre within that of a crow.

The siblings of those smaller shrink inside their shell, kicked from the branch, inadequate souls.

Let us eat.

A Little Lost

A white rat from Camden Watches TV from the curtain rail While I, pressed between layers Curled like an ammonite Tried to make sense of the will to save life I dressed in the grey ground floor light Lived in the pages of ‘Breakfast At Midnight’ Penned by young Buster and Spike While Great Ormond Street’s children Slipped under the knife

Dream Musings II

by Cathy Grindrod

by Amy Elizabeth Words echo and bounce in my throat, tumbling upwards and grazing my tongue.

Like acid it spills and breaks; into a foreign voice.

My eyes sting as rivers ebb and flow, along the burning banks of my cheeks, pouring salt into the wound.

When you died, I died.

My name around your neck.

Your hands around mine.

Evaporate

by Steve Pape

We watch the elect individuals Step slowly forward into history The faceless crowds Hollow eyed immobility This enigma of human identity As noiseless as morning shadows Unblinking, mad-bright into the sun The centre of a limitless territory Surfacing out of dreamlessness Nerve centres reminds us of pain These comfort humming’s, Of womb like existence Hazily encircled, the curse is cast Imagination with a gleeful glare The lonely solitary woods we cross Simultaneous sighs of relief, As recognition dawns Gracious beauty, walking the earth Emotional crisis, yet something divine Words do not evaporate Words seep invisibly in

by M_B

by Bella Bartok

This is where I mastered The art of not talking Stalking movements of London’s undone Big Issue kings of the charity shun Drearily huddled in Attica masks Knowing neither praise nor disgrace Whirling their standards all over the place I tried not to touch them, except on the tube Where, it was still OK to touch This is me on my backside on Liverpool Street Knocked down by some old Irish bother Watching the foolscap dance over The looming black whales of Bishopsgate I crunched that rock salted road Shattered crystals, like sharp settled snowstorms Danced Sunday’s light to the siren’s whirring wail While the masters, tucked away In their Barbican beds Slept like cotton wool babies Polly and Sam lived on Charteris Road Sam’s splintered childhood was seven years old I held his young hand to lattice London’s streets Seven Sisters, Jamaican Dumplings, Talmud, Tagine Into Finsbury Park where his Mum liked to eat Where we picked at the manacled mind And I learned that old chestnut, to be cruel to be kind Mother love or sex love?

Sam, I’m just passing through London What have I to do with you?

by Sara

And so she departed these shores, This plane..

Her grounded terrain..

Ever - loving - maintaining her sane…

And where is she now?

Four springs later?

From where the presence departed.

Life’s not been a bed of roses..

That life supposes…

Life’s not been the easy path…

Monumental cenotaph, Life’s still here in all its faces.

People still meandering and settling in their places..

Love moves; forward, back, erases But replaces To the universal spaces That my terrain leads me eventually…

Beholds and graces...

A sonnet from Sven the Snowman to the beautiful women of Nottingham

by Lord Biro

If you’re fed up with watching the soccer and would prefer a friendlier game come and play with me and my snow balls round the back of Ye Olde Meadow Lane.

Mr. Bloody Sunshine

Make Less Strangers

The Sky, Head On

Mr. Bloody Sunshine is a fantastic debut novel from another of Nottingham’s fine repertoire of selfpublished authors. Dean works as a droid in the soulless franchise machine, serving pizzas to people who can’t comprehend why there is no large stuffed crust option.

This third publication from recently formed Weathervane Press proves conclusively that they are serious about publishing local talent and, perhaps more encouragingly, in taking risks.

Cathy Grindrod was Derbyshire Poet Laureate from 2005 to 2007 - but we won’t hold that against her. Her fifth collection The Sky, Head On has just been published by the Beeston-based Shoestring Press.

I say this because Make Less Strangers is a debut not only by an unknown and young author, but one which does not conform to the usual narrative structure. Set in the endless happy hour of sex, self harm and substance abuse that was early noughties Nottingham club culture, we are taken through a fractured narrative that rapidly cuts between characters as they collide on their hedonistic pursuits.

Characters in these poems are seeking escape, their experience of life is often weighed up and revealed through observation of the natural world, while evocative images of flowers echo from one poem to the next – as ineffective herbal medicine, photographic subject and sexual metaphor: “A girl stands waiting / waiting at a bus stop / arms full of cornflowers / that uncompromising blue” and “waking chilled / she finds herself alone / inside a foxglove field.”

On occasion the meanderings are quite beautiful, such as the short sharp listing of details which punctuates the narrative.

At other times Wilcoxson is too adventurous and abstract, potentially losing the reader’s attention. Overall, however, this is an admirable 169-page gamble that reads like the bastard child of Quentin Tarantino and Bret Easton Ellis. James Walker

Cathy’s poems have appeared in a number of publications and anthologies through the years. Her skill at capturing intense emotions with a reflective, original voice shines through in this latest collection. Look out for Beeston Lock, The Nottingham Mechanics on North Sherwood Street and a painting from Nottingham Castle all making an appearance. Aly Stoneman

Adam Watts Self-published, £4.99

The monotonous drudgery of his mundane day-to-day life relents only during those beautiful moments of adrenaline-pumping intensity when he goes out on a kill; as such, the pace of the story jumps and shifts according to the protagonist’s state of mind.

Adam Watts articulates a whole range of cynical observations through Dean’s often hilariously pessimistic rants about people and society, which I somewhat worryingly found myself completely agreeing with. Like a British working-class echo of American Psycho, Watts’ graphic imagination is at times truly horrific - an essential quality for any good purveyor of horror. All signs point towards a bright future for this young novelist.

Jamie Rhodes mrbloodysunshine.com

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Steven Wilcoxson Weathervane Press, £7.99

Cathy Grindrod Shoestring Press, £8.95

weathervanepress.co.uk

shoestringpress.co.uk

You can now listen to one track from each review on our Sound Of The Lion podcast. Visit leftlion.co.uk/sotl and gerrit in yer tab!

If you want your tunes to appear on this page visit leftlion.co.uk/sendusmusic The Engines of Armageddon

The Engines of Armageddon Album (Self-released)

The metal world is not exactly strong right now. The charts are awash with X Factor idiots, you can’t walk into a shop without your ears being assaulted by Lady Gaga and the metal section of any big music shop is confined to a few tiny rows at the back next to the bargain bin. But the Engines of Armageddon are a world away from Simon Cowell’s protégés, sounding like Hells Bells blasting out from the speakers on opener Prologue. The band chop and change styles so fast that it’s often hard to keep up with them, moving from early Metallica-style thrash guitars, through to long, drawn out and slow solos and numerous fade-ins accompanied by growling singing. Songs like Shock and Awe and I Am A Suicide Bomber show how accomplished this band already is, with all three band members clearly being talented musicians. Full marks to them for coming up with an album this rewarding first time around. Engines Of Armageddon are willing to bring all different styles to the table in an effort to produce a rarity of late - a really exciting and individual metal album. As long as bands like this are willing to try new things, the genre may have a bright future after all. Lauren Walker Available to buy from Amazon or from the band’s website enginesofarmageddon.com

In Isolation

Virus Single (Self-released)

Glades

Glades EP (Self-released)

Glades’ self-titled debut EP is an interesting listen. The band list The Album Leaf and Foals among their influences. But they may wish to consider adding Clap Your Hands Say Yeah to that list, as opening track I’m Not A Climber bears similarities to the American group’s 2005 debut album. The sound of Yannis Philippakis is evident though on second track From A Different Town; this punchy dance punk definitely wouldn’t be out of place in a packed out Rescue Rooms. The three-track EP reaches its climax with perhaps its best offering. Though its title One Day Bloater Bill May Explode may seem to have little to do with the song, you’ll be humming the guitar hooks for hours after. The band’s range of artistic inspiration for this musical taster has served them well; they produce a polished sound that sits up well next to their contemporaries. Glades is a promising start from the Nottingham and Leeds-based quintet, and you’d be well advised to have a listen. This should be a definite purchase in the new year for anyone of an indie disposition. If you wear Belle and Sebastian t-shirts with pride and have a well stocked Modest Mouse back catalogue, then buy it right now. Drew Heatley.

Available from the band at gigs or to download from iTunes. myspace.com/gladesband

Lisa de’Ville

In Isolation are a four-piece band based in Nottingham, boasting a fizzying blend of contemporary and eighties indie with new wave and post punk. Virus is their latest single, and this slab of angular guitar rock, available as an mp3 download, is anything but stark – it presents a slick and well-produced homage to new romantic synth pop with a guitar-driven twist. Perhaps most surprising and distinctive are Ryan Swift’s vocals which teleport us back Tardis-style to the days of Simon Le Bon lounging around on the deck of an enormous white yacht in a flapping linen suit, or ABC’s Martin Fry flashing razor-sharp cheekbones and offering himself up for Cupid’s target practice.

Don’t let this fool you though, for Virus is not pure eighties pop. The track boasts a range of synth sounds that would put Nick Rhodes’ paltry efforts to shame, all pinned together with cascading guitar riffs and pleasantly evolving and slightly mournful harmonies. The song avoids obvious pop structures save for a rousing chorus which pulls it all together in style.

Perhaps the only downside is that complete with retrospective vibe the lyrics, too, seem oddly dated, without the sharp modern insight which might transform the track from an evocative homage to something truly thought-provoking. On the other hand, this song screams radio-friendliness and is sure to win them some notice. Watch this space... Bod Fonda

Reverie EP (Self-released)

It’s usually the dark and mysterious things in life that are the most intriguing and seductive, and this is certainly the case here. Lisa de’Ville is something of a veteran of the local music scene having played in various bands including Black Vinyl Heart. But now she is striking out on her own and as a showcase for her vocal talents and heart-wrenching songwriting, this EP hits the mark. Lisa has a beautiful soaring voice which has the potential to cut your heart in two it reaches its zenith with a haunting howl on Darkest Hours.

The raw, naked emotion on show is enough to melt the souls of the most hardhearted people. Dark and twisting fingerpicked guitar melodies creep and crawl all over this EP, giving it a rather autumnal and sombre tone. Blue glides along on a simple yet sublime slide-guitar line that is one of those touches that turns a song from good to “Oh my god this is great”.

Although Lisa comes across as introspective on this EP, you get the feeling that she is no pushover and has an edge that is only shown to those that truly deserve it. This EP proves that the dark side is always the more attractive option. It is a case of the sweetest songs being those that tell of saddest thought. Paul Klotschkow Available from Lisa’s website or at her gigs. lisadeville.com

Available for download from iTunes. inisolation.co.uk

Theorist

Weave Your Dreams EP (Arboretum Records)

Some of the best times ever are those long summer evenings spent just lazily hanging out in the garden or in the park with friends and loved ones. Listening to Weave Your Dreams offers a similar sensation for me. Whether it’s through magic, trickery, brainwashing, or just incredible songwriting (on evidence I suspect it’s the latter), Becky Syson manages to bring those feelings of warmth and optimism to her music. This is exactly the kind of thing you want on these cold, dark and dreary winter evenings.

Becky seems to radiate positivity and this comes through loud and clear in her music. For instance, the EP opens up with Nancy Song, a story of lost love, but taken from the viewpoint that it’s not lost forever as there are still the happy memories and the possibility of seeing that person again on ‘the other side’. How heartwarming! There are points where Becky’s voice is reminsicent of Harriet Wheeler from The Sundays; smooth, vibrant, and full of spirit. Whilst musically, the EP stays on the acoustic side of business, with occasional flourishes of drums and guitars - especially on the jazzy On My Way. The simple arrangements give the songs room to grow and weave their magic on the listener.

Paul Klotschkow

World Ful of Robotos

From mild-mannered Metal Mickey to the terrifying T1000, the human race’s relationship with robots has always been a strained one. So acting like the audio equivalent of Will Smith in I, Robot, Notts born-andbred producer Theorist presents this aural attack on a world of androids.

Best known under the name Zero Theory, his classic hiphop beats on local rhyme heavyweight Cappo’s Get Out 1 and 2 albums are legendary. These were followed up by a proper vinyl EP release on Breakin’ Bread which, if you can’t get hold of the homemade originals, you should definitely buy. Theorist wastes no time with pleasantries, enquiring on opener The Battery “How would you feel if you were the only human in a world full of robots?”. No time to think as a mighty drum track comes crashing in, rousing a war cry in the listener before cinematic strings swirl through and there is some reprieve. The album continues in much the same vein, reflecting the otherworldliness of a struggle between man and machine. Menacing soundscapes and haunting choral samples are punctuated with mechanical whirrs. Digital beeps are at odds with playful eighties action film-style guitar riffs. This album is a masterpiece in production – and made entirely on an old-school Ensoniq sampler. Isaac Asimov may have ruled that a robot may not injure a human, but these ‘bots just killed it, blud! Shariff Ibrahim

Avaialble to buy now from Becky Syson’s website. becksyson.com

You can download the album for free at theorist.bandcamp.com myspace.com/thetheorist

Becky Syson

Here’s To Tragedy

In The Shade Of 14th EP (Self-released)

I’ve heard an old wives’ tale that super tight skinny jeans increase the blood flow between the heart and the brain, and having a fringe over one eye causes poor depth perception.

Here’s To Tragedy are more proof that emo, like smoking, is bad for your health, but highly addictive.

This EP is a hotbed of infectious emo-tronica. Clearly schooled

by AFI’s Davey Havok, singer Six proves an expert in emo crooning. “I’m gunna send shockwaves through your core” he warns with a heart full of unnerving and perverse intent. The title track conjures images of a glammed-up Enter Shikari. With stadium rock choral anthemics and unpretentious guitar work, In The Shade of 14th could ride comfortably on the airwaves of their teeny emo peers. I Wish I Had A Girl Like Vikki Blows is a 100mph drag race against the likes of Pendulum and The Faint, while Spellbound is a shimmering bubble of pop rock.

Final track Caught In The Firing Line creates a slow burning haunting sensation, urging the listener to “embrace only the shadows” and “deny the warming light” before copping a feel of its mate’s girlfriend in the Market Square. It would be easy to cringe yourself into despair and pout a MySpace pose if the songs weren’t punctuated by sharp electronic flourishes, flair and an over-reaching passion. Andrew Trendell Available from the band at gigs or through their MySpace. myspace.com/herestotragedy

Mas Y Mas

La Bala Album (Self-released) La Bala, the third record from crosscultural musical conquistadors Mas Y Mas is a deliciously rich mixture of Latin rhythms, sensual rumba, flamenco styles and fiery vocals.

The album is wonderfully against the grain compared to any other music coming from Notts, no doubt due to its recording location - the trio travelled to Havana in Cuba to collaborate with a host of musicians and artists. In this respect they have succeeded, creating a truly unique, warm and inviting record.

Travelling through a far-ranging spectrum of Latin-influenced styles and encompassing a cornucopia of instrumentalists and guest artists, La Bala reflects the efforts made to capture the music and attitudes of Cuban life. It’s sung almost entirely in Spanish and never before has a record made me want to learn a whole new language in order to fully appreciate it. But even if, like me, you lack skills en Español, the sensuous nature of the vocals and the gorgeous flow of the lyrics still make it a joy to listen to. The overall feel of this record is one of unity, collaboration and connections, and just begs to be enjoyed in the company of friends; so cook up some delicious food, get some booze in, invite everyone you know and enjoy this sensuous, warm Latino record. Sarah Morrison Available from all major download sites, at gigs and through the band’s website. masymas.co.uk

WIGFLEX003

Shortstuff - Regression / Taylor Squeege (Split 12”, Wigflex)

Having a blossoming electronica label on Notts’ doorstep is very significant.

Being too young and too far away from Sheffield I was never privy to the early days of the Warp label, which is now considered the stuff of legend.

Now, however, I have the chance to follow an excellent label from its humble beginnings, rejoice at their triumphs and smile as their artists garner more much-deserved attention.

The first side boasts Shortstuff’s track Regression, which is dominated by a great beat. The track starts simply enough until the melodies all come in one at a time. Xylophone-like sounds play off one another until a warbling synth fades in and becomes the song’s central theme. It’s a great hook for a dance night floor filler. Taylor’s Squeege opens like Pac-Man on an incredibly pleasant mushroom trip – a computer blip motif introduces the track and is slowly quashed by swathes and waves of electronic squelches, beats and arpeggios which are equal parts Autechre and Boards of Canada. The track slowly evolves into a sort of electronic slow dance, surrounded in mystery but with just enough impact and pace to keep folks on their feet. Keep your eyes on Wigflex at all times, and if you can attend one of their club nights then I’d advise you to jump at the chance. Anthony Whitton Available on vinyl from OhMyGosh records, Juno, Boomkat, and Chemical UK. Download available from Beatport and iTunes. wigflex.com leftlion.co.uk/issue33

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Illustration copyright © Tomi Ungerer and Diogenes Verlag AG Zürich

featured listing LEFTLION Christmas at Lakeside LISTINGS Kick Out The Hams Lakeside presents February - March 2010

TICKETS ON-LION Buying tickets for events in Notts? From the latest DJs at Stealth to the latest bands at venues like Seven and The Rescue Rooms, you can get them all through our website, at no extra cost. Even better, thanks to our partnership with gigantic.co.uk, every time you buy one through us some of the funds will go towards LeftLion and a bit more goes to those nice folks at Oxfam.

leftlion.co.uk/tickets

NEW YEAR, NEW MUSIC It’s a brand spanking new year and with it comes a whole bunch of bands for you to check out around and about our fair city. From eighties pop to nineties metal and cheese to local talent to beatboxing and jazz - give your tabs a boost with this lot: Pesky Alligators, Spaceships are Cool, Chesney Hawkes, The Curtis Whitefinger Ordeal, Lean Valley Band, Nitzer Ebb, Marina and the Diamonds, Hot Chip, Hadouken!, (Hed) PE, Katatonia, Burn The Negative, Idle Hands, UK Beatboxing Championships, Stiff Kittens and The Four Tops.

He may be flat, but he’s a hero!

If any band in the city deserves the ‘ones to watch’ tag, it’s The Swiines. Scott Bugg, Adi Young, Daniel Taylor and Rory have beenboy casting pearls the best Stanley Lambchop wasBlack a normal healthy until a their notice spiky-pop Suitable foracross ages 3+the andcity theirfor families partboard of eighteen months, supporting likes of The Holloways andon The getting fell on him!

Now he’s only half anthe inch thick...

Based theSubways, story by Jeffand Brown noticed by theand likes BBC on 6 Music.

So Sarah Morrisontime! caughtAdapted up with for a Join Stanley hisof brother their adventures at Christmas forthem the stage bychat Mike about Kenny their upcoming new single, growing up with Britpop and giving Nottingham a right proper slap…

Adi, what inspired you to become a musician?

27 NOVEMBER - 3 JANUARYThe love of music. I started playing guitar at fifteen or so when Light Night is back, for its third year, to CENTRE Britpop was happening, listening to Ocean Colour Scene and Kula LAKESIDE ARTS Shaker, and just wanted to be a rock star from then. Everyone brighten up the dark landscape for the weekend ALL TICKETS £7 went round school acting like they were Liam. of 12-13 February; musial highlights include a BOX OFFICE 0115 846 7777 Leftlion and Dealmaker Extravaganza in Trinity So how did the four of you link up?

WWW.LAKESIDEARTS.ORG.UK Square. Our DJ-basedINFORMATION line up includes sets From two other bands, The Bets and The Arcane. We all got from Red Rack’em, Vinyl Abort, Beatmasta Bill, Winston Smith and Yassa Dealmaker. More info at leftlion.co.uk/trinity Valentine’s Day is the same weekend and for the love birds amongst us there’s Pitty Patt’s Romance O Rama, Burlesque Workshop and Lovers Lounge. One venue worth a mention is the soon to be re-opened Cross Keys in the Lace Market, expect a sexy revamp of an old haunt. Not to be forgotten, the host of regular nights include Percussion, Wire and Wool, Ghoul Garden, Dirty Filthy Sexy, Fade, Dollop, Detonate, Acoustickle and Smokescreen. Not impressed by that plethora of aural delights?

You may want to consult a doctor...

NOTTINGHAM CULTURE If your new years resolution is to get a bit more cultured then don’t be chucking money away by heading dahn London Town, we’ve got it all right here on your very doorstep.

Theatre-wise, there’s Those Magnificent Men, The Land of Yes and No, Fakebook, Blood Brothers and The Circus of Horrors.

Creating chuckles will be Dave Gorman, An Audience with Trevor Francis, Comedy in the Hood, Lee Mack and Jo Caulfield. Regular nights include Just the Tonic’s Big Value Comedy Showcases on Mondays and Gladdie’s Night every last Monday of the month.

Visual art lovers have more choice than you can shake a stick at - and a lot of it’s free: Star City, Reservoirs of Darkness, Naomi Terry, [re]locate, Portraits of a Jamaican Family and Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School.

For even more listings, check our regularly updated online section at leftlion.co.uk/listings.

If you want to get your event in this magazine and on our website, aim your browser at leftlion.co.uk/add.

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together for a jam - just to play some music, ‘cos we were still with our other bands. We didn’t want to break them up, but we all just clicked and everything sounded great - so we formed The Swiines.

What can punters expect from a Swiines gig?

An all round guarantee; visuals, music…people just wanna get involved when they see us. It’s about music at the end of the day, innit? We’re not just some typical indie band with jangly guitars.

It’s more full-on - people have said it’s a proper rock ‘n’ roll sound.

What’s your favourite gig been?

Rock City, when we supported Subways, was definitely the most memorable. That was the biggest. I mean, we had roadies, and could hear the cheering while we were backstage. But we were talking about this the other day - we kinda prefer the smaller gigs.

We’ve had some good ‘uns at the Running Horse, really big energy in there. It’s always great when you get along with the other local bands. Personally, I love a sold-out gig with loads of people from Notts; just turning up at Rock City or Social and it being full.

We’ve sold out gigs before, but somewhere big with everyone we know in the crowd would be top.

Describe your songwriting process…

It’s nothing formal really - a lot of improvising, feeding off each other. They usually come from one of Scott’s ideas, we’ll have a bit of a jam and whatever comes out of it usually sounds pretty good.

Who are your heroes?

In recent years, Alex Turner - his lyrics are just phenomenal. Going back, the Gallagher brothers made the 90s for me, it was happy days. And Kurt Cobain - the whole grunge attitude from when we were growing up.

And who are you listening to at the moment?

The last album I bought was by These New Puritans; they’re a bit off the wall and very different. Twisted Wheel as well - we’re supporting them next month, so that’s a massive bonus.

What’s the most rock ‘n’ roll thing The Swiines have ever done?

Stopping cars on the M1 in a massive traffic jam to give people CDs, when we were drunk on the way back from a gig in London.

We were all in the bus goading each other. Things started to go wrong after that, but I don’t really remember much else…

You’re all put in charge of Nottingham for the day.

What do you do with the city?

Give it a slap! Make everyone get up off their arses - no one’s allowed to stop in and watch Corrie or mong out on iTunes. We’d put a gig on for everyone that the whole city could go to.

Tell us about your new single Stone Faced...

It’s being released in March - we recorded it with Guy Elderfield at Random Recordings, who produced our last EP. He’s a legend, that guy. I think it’s our best work; it was one of those songs that just came together, straight from the off it just snapped into place.

It’s got a good solid melody and beat, it sounds quite commercial but underground at the same time. We’re very proud of it. We’ve had really good feedback so far.

Plans for the year?

We’re recording an album that will come out in the autumn, again with Random Recordings. That’s an ongoing thing really, probably near on a years worth of work - we want to take our time with it.

We’ve also got a new bass player, Rory, who’s quality. We really want to play festivals, as many as we can; we’ve had positive feedback so hopefully we’ll get to play some. We just want to get the new tunes out really.

Anything else you need us to know?

Go and visit ooizit.com - we were one of their featured artists last month. It’s like a new version of MySpace. We’re selling all our tracks from there, and Amazon and Spotify. And come out and see us play!

Catch The Swiines at the Bodega Social Club, supporting Twisted Wheel on Thursday 18 February. Tickets are £7.50. myspace.com/theswiines

nottingham event listings...

Monday 01/02

Friday 05/02

Rave Monsta Radio The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am

Marble The Maze £4 , 9pm Plus Basement Forte and Bodukwe.

Notts in a Nutshell The Maze £3, 8pm With The Franchise, Apollo, Cavalry, Opium Toad and Stay For The Festival.

Thursday 04/02 Sonny Side Up Bonington Theatre £10 / £8 conc , 8pm Stan Sulzmann (tenor), Jim Mullen (guitar), Steve Watts (bass) and Tristan Mailliott (drums).

Wire and Wool The Alley Cafe Free, 8pm - 12am With Undercats Hicks, Motormouth, Beatmasta Bill, Cooper, Paul Mincher and Jake Bugg.

The Wiyos The Maze £10, 7.30pm Plus support SIBA National Beer Festival Canalhouse Bar and Restaurant Free, 12pm - 1am Runs until: 07/02 Mandy Tatton Band The Hubb Free, 9pm Dive : FOAMO [Chew The Fat!] The Market Bar £3, 9pm Dogma Presents MJ Cole Dogma Plus Casual P, Dawntreader and Littlefoot.

Friday 05/02 Oceansize Rock City £10, 7pm 4am Forever The Lion Inn Free, 9pm - 11pm

Pesky Alligators The Robin Hood Free, 9pm Put Two Sugars in it: Dolly Disco The Alley Cafe Free, 8.30pm - 1am

Saturday 06/02 Percussion The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am Arficeden The Chameleon Cafe Bar 8.30pm Plus Dutch Schultz, Beyond This Point Are Monsters and Cyril Snear Outriders The Lion Inn Free, 9pm - 11pm Fade Gatecrasher £8 / £10, 10pm - 4am Antonio Vendone, Paul Lyman, Misst, Ben Rubin and DJ Wax on.

The Soul Ska Shakedown The Golden Fleece Free, 9pm - late SAD! The Chameleon Cafe Bar £4 advance, 8pm I’m Not From London The Malt Cross Free, 8pm - 12am Spaceships Are Cool, Tim McDonald and The Leisure Class, Dulcinea and Owain-My Dark Star Rising.

Wholesome Fish The Hubb Free, 9pm Julie Butler Fundraiser The Central £3, £4, 7.30pm With Scarlet’s Wake, Tina Taylor, Phil Ashmore, Sharp Knees and Scotch Egg.

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

Nise Boys Do It Indoors The skate kings of Notts keep rolling on Established in 2007 and the only independent skateboard company that’s owned and run by Nottingham skateboarders, Nise was born of the need for somewhere to skate where the British weather couldn’t drench you and the police couldn’t nick you.

Founded by Benjamin Durnan-Fletcher and his second-in-command Thomas Siveyer, Nise commenced operations by renting a studio space in Sneinton and building an indoor ramp, creating a safe, friendly environment for local skaters. Nowadays, they sell skateboard hardware and apparel on their website, have just released their first DVD and are on the hunt for new places to install ramps.

The entire modus operandi of Nise is to keep it Notts (as borne out by their commitment to using local artists, designers and manufacturers as often as possible). They also have a strong anti-minginess policy, with realistic pricing, subsidising trips for younger skaters, and the fact that any profits go straight back into running the project. If you’ve just taken up the sport, they should be your first point of contact. With over a century of boarding experience between ‘em, they’re only a phone call or email away if you need help or advice, and they’re commencing weekly tuition sessions at Southglade Leisure Centre between 12pm and 2pm every Saturday from February – so if you want to hone your skills and get immersed in the Notts skateboard scene, email ben@niseskateboards.com for further details. niseskateboards.com

Sunday 07/02

Tuesday 09/02

Friday 12/02

Arficeden The Chameleon £3, 8.30pm Plus Dutch Schultz, Cyril Snear ad Beyond This Point Are Monsters

Bonsai Band!

The Malt Cross Free, 8pm

Hot Pink 66 The Robin Hood Free, 9pm

Wednesday 10/02

Hot Club De Paris The Bodega £6, 7pm

Lostprophets Rock City £22.50, 7.30pm with support from Young Guns.

Miike Snow The Rescue Rooms £7.50, 7.30pm

She Keeps Bees The Rescue Rooms £7, 7.30pm

Chesney Hawkes The Maze £10 adv, 8pm

Tuesday 09/02

Thursday 11/02

NME Awards Tour 2010 Rock City £15.58, 7.30pm The Maccabees, Bombay Bicycle Club, The Big Pink and The Drums.

Empirical Bonington Theatre £10 / £12, 8pm Nathaniel Facey, Lewis Wright, Tom Farmer and Shaney Forbes.

Rack and Ruin The Maze £4, 8pm

Notts in a Nutshell The Maze £3, 8pm Last Call Home, Twenty Year Hurricane and more tbc.

Cult 45s

Deli The Hubb Free, 9pm

DJ Bailey joins the Cult for one night only

Dogma Presents TRG Dogma Goli, Ashburner, Senate and Yosh.

The mighty Cult are one of the top dogs on the Notts dancefloor scene, and renowned for bringing some of the most forwardthinking DnB artists in the game to Hoodtown - Fabio, Marcus Intalex, Kubiks and Lomax, Commix, S.P.Y and Big Bud have all played some blinding sets for Cult in recent months. And now they’ve relocated to a cosy new home.

Friday 12/02 Fusion Club The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am Dynamic (Good Looking records), Kaysha, Beggar Su.

The recently refurbished Market Bar is the place to get all Culty from now on, and there are three reasons why; the state-of-theart Funktion One sound system, the extended license that will give you up to 4am to bust a move, and the fact that it’s one of the skillest venues in Goosegate.

Idle Hands The Lion Inn Free, 9pm - 11pm

To celebrate Cult DnB sessions’ second birthday, they’ve lined up Radio 1Xtra legend DJ Bailey to bless the decks on 5 March.

With over fifteen years service on the DnB scene, Bailey is a highly respected icon of the genre whose bookings now stretch across the globe, whilst his Radio 1Xtra show has been grabbing many awards and accolades throughout its seven-year stint.

Rubber Room The Maze £3, 8pm

More importantly, Bailey is a veteran turntablist who was one of the original residents at the legendary Metalheadz nights at the Blue Note club in London – so he’s not just going to roll up with a record bag and stand over the decks all night. Having perfected his craft, this man is a DJ first and foremost, and he knows how to work a crowd.

Azonika (HQ), Muse (Happy Go Lucky) and Fonik (Everyday Junglist), alongside the ever-popular Cult residents will be providing support ammunition on the night. Miss and get dissed. Oh, and don’t sleep on the monthly Cult Radio sessions at leftlion.co.uk/radio for the best in Notts beats.

Cult Drum and Bass sessions second birthday, Friday 5 March. 10pm-4am. The Market Bar, 22 Goosegate, Hockley, NG1 1FF. Tickets: £5. wearethecult.co.uk

Pit of Curiosities Pit and Pendulum £3, 8pm – 11pm With Alien Slime Wrestlers, The Robot Girl, The Theremin Lizard Lounge, Live Alien Autopsy, The Brain and The Oracle.

Dollop Stealth £10, 10pm with Erol Alkan and Rustie.

Saturday 13/02 Manière des Bohémiens The Malt Cross £3, 8pm Reprogression The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am Krusade The Lion Inn Free, 9pm - 11pm Fade Gatecrasher £8 / £10, 10pm - 4am Antonio Vendone, Gilly, Deep Groove, Luke Black, Paul Sekhri, Mark Cohan and DJ Wax on.

Pitty Patt Romance O Rama Circus of the Casanova The Bodega £6, 8pm With Cherry Deville, Ruby Rose, Miles Away and Billie Rae. Ghoul Garden The Maze £3.50, 8pm Love Ends Disaster!

The Rescue Rooms £3,, 7pm Plus Stop Eject and Pope Joan.

Blaze Bayley Rock City £7, 7pm Plus Sinocence.

Francis Dunnery Deux £20, 7pm

DJ Katie The Hubb Free, 9pm

Junk Yard Gatecrasher £8, 10pm – 4a,m With Luke Black, Paul Sekhri and Mark Cohen

Flight Club Muse Free before 10pm / £4, 9pm - 3am

Fenech-Soler Stealth £5, 10.15pm

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event listings...

Sunday 14/02

Friday 19/02

Pitty Patt Burlesque Workshop The Bodega £15, 1.30pm

Nitzer Ebb Rock City £15, 7pm

Lovers Lounge The Maze £2, 6pm

UK Beatbox Championship The Rescue Rooms £7, 8pm

Me and Mr Jones The Hubb Free, 9pm

Toasted Frog The Lion Inn Free, 9pm - 11pm

Monday 15/02

{Eklectic} The Maze £4 / £5, 9pm – late Goli and Ashburner, 25 Past the Skank (Live), Hanuman, Still Motion, Beatmasta Bill and Thinkyman.

Acoustickle The Maze £3, 8pm Hot Chip Rock City £17.50, 7.30pm The Lost Levels The Bodega £5, 8pm

Tuesday 16/02 Club Vadar The Maze £3 / £4, 8pm Bonus Beyond, Sideways Falling and Arcanite Reaper.

The Jon Allen Band The Rescue Rooms £8.50, 7.30pm Blonde Louis The Bodega £5, 7pm MuHa The Malt Cross Free, 8pm

Wednesday 17/02 Futures Rock City £6, 7pm Richie Muir The Approach Free, 9pm Holly Williams The Maze £10, 7.30pm Marina and the Diamonds The Bodega £8.50, 7pm

Thursday 18/02 Nik Kershaw The Rescue Rooms £16, 7.30pm Gracious K (Migraine Skank) Stealth £5, 7pm Shine!

The Maze £tbc, 7.30pm A club night for those with learning disabilities.

An Audience with Billy Davies The Approach £10 - £30, 7pm Is the Premier League Calling?

Ben Martin Band The Hubb Free, 9pm Straight Lines Rock City £6, 7pm Twisted Wheel The Bodega £7.50, 7pm Dogma Presents Brooks Brothers Dogma Free, 8pm With Brookes Brother, Transit Mafia and MC Ruthless.

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Swansong The Robin Hood Free, 9pm Papa La Bas The Hubb Free, 9pm Misst The Market Bar £5, 10pm with Cluekid, Jack Sparrow, Misst, Laurent and Em-T Thoughts.

30 Seconds to Mars Trent FM Arena £20.43, 7.30pm

Saturday 20/02 Wholesome Fish The Malt Cross £3.50, 8pm Kris Ward The Approach Free, 9pm Oh My Gosh! - Boom Bap The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am Four Deck set with Squiggley and Furious P. Evil Scarecrow Rock City £5, 7pm Plus special guests Sons of Merrick and Isolysis.

Elvis Fontenot and the Sugabees The Lion Inn Free, 9pm - 11pm Stiff Kittens The Bodega Free, 10pm – 1am Fade Gatecrasher £8 / £10, 10pm - 4am Antonio Vendone, Paul Lyman, Lost, Evil Nine, R-A-K-I-T/Plax, That DJ / Laina and DJ Hudson, Smokescreen The Maze £5, 10pm - 4am So Many Dynamos Stealth £5, 10.15pm Jennifer Batten Deux £35, 1pm - 4pm Get guitar lessons from Michael Jackson World Tour member.

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

Ale’d Basford No Roar deals at The Lion at Basford

Standing under the striking shadow of the old Shippos Brewery, The Lion at Basford is a gem in the rough of traditional pubs, drawing in both locals and Real Ale fiends far and wide. Not only does it stock a veritable cornucopia of non-Pissy Bir beverages, but it’s also rammed with history; its beer cellars are part of the original Nottingham cave network and are some of the deepest in the city.

Playing host to regular regional CAMRA festivals, it has a longstanding reputation as one of the best traditional pubs in Notts, with up to a dozen cask ales on permanent standby. At least two are local beers. Microbreweries don’t get overlooked either. As you’d expect, the snap is traditional too, with snacks, light bites and grills a-plenty on offer – as well as curry-and-a-pint for £5.95 on Wednesdays.

Ale and food is not all that The Lion offers though, oh no; it’s a quality live music venue too, with their Sunday lunch jazz sessions, Tuesday night blues jams and their Thursday open mic evening. With good jazz not that easy to find in Nottingham, the former has been a staple of The Lion for fifteen years, putting it head and, er, mane above the rest. Well worth a short tram hop.

44 Mosley Street, New Basford, Nottingham, NG7 7FQ thelionatbasford.co.uk

Monday 22/02

Thursday 25/02

Saturday 27/02

Catch Me I’m Naked The Maze £tbc, 8pm With Cubrik and Numinous.

This City Rock City £3, 10pm

Ready Steady 60’s The Maze £tbc, 7.30pm

The Brothers Movement The Bodega £5, 8pm

Roger Clyne and The Peacemakers The Maze £10, 7.30pm Plus Owen Harvey.

DirtFilthySexy February The Central £3 /£4, 8:30pm - 2am Electroflex, Rainbow Down, DJ Heathen, DJ Girl Scout and Lady Wildside.

Noisettes Rock City £14, 7.30pm

Tuesday 23/02 Cole Stacey The Maze £5, 8pm Mastodon Rock City £16, 7.30pm

Wednesday 24/02 Bizarre presents Rock City £11, 6.30pm Chipmunk, Daisy Dares You, Tinie Tempah and Skepta.

Notts in a Nutshell The Maze £3, 8pm The Rutherfords, Allotment Collective, Noel Street, The Hubirs and more tbc.

Pesky Aligators The Lion Inn Free, 9pm - 11pm These Monsters The Old Angel £tbc, 8.30pm Plus Alright The Captain.

Old Basford The Hubb Free, 9pm Sould The Robin Hood Free, 9pm Detonate - 11th Birthday Stealth £10 / £12, 10pm - 5am With DJ Marky, Joker, Gentelmens Dub Club (Live), Total Science, Jubei, Transit Mafia and more tbc.

Saturday 27/02

The Heavy The Bodega £6.50, 7pm

Soasis The Rescue Rooms £10, 7pm

Nick Harper The Rescue Rooms £10, 7.30pm

Tee Dymond The Approach Free, 9pm

Thursday 25/02

DJ Cosmos B’day Bash The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am

Sunday 21/02

Mick Coady Quartet Bonington Theatre £10 / £12, 8pm Robbie Robson, Peter King, Ross Stanley, Mick Coady and Steve Keogh.

John Gomme The Hubb Free, 9pm

Local Natives The Rescue Rooms £9, 7pm

Folkwit Sunday The Robin Hood Free, 8pm Jason Steel and Prints In The Snow.

Toby Kennedy Trio The Hubb Free, 9pm

Rock City £10, 7.30pm

Friday 26/02

Swimming The Bodega £5, 8pm

Imperial Days The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am

Moonbuggy The Robin Hood Free, 9pm The Garden Get Together presents: The Maze £5, 10pm - 3am With The Revenge, Nick Shaw and Ed Cotton.

Sack Sabbath and Iron on Maiden Rock City £10, 7pm Ronnie Londons Groove Lounge Grosvenor £3 before 11pm, 8pm - 1am

Sunday 28/02 The Sunday Sessions The Robin Hood Free, 6.30pm Blackheart The Rescue Rooms £12, 7.30pm

Monday 01/03 Tom McRae The Rescue Rooms £15, 7.30pm Plus Brian Wright.

The X Factor Live Tour 2010 Trent FM Arena Nottingham £23.50 - £28.50, 7.30pm

First Aid Kit The Bodega £8, 7pm

Notts in a Nutshell The Maze £3, 8pm Paradox, Out From Shadows, Made In The Shade and Minority Theory.

New Tricks The Lion Inn Free, 9pm - 11pm

Giggs Stealth £8, 7.30pm

Fade Gatecrasher £8 / £10, 10pm - 4am Eric Prydz, Antonio Vendone, Paul lyman, The Elementz Sound System and DJ Angelo.

Fionn Regan The Bodega £8, 8pm

nottingham event listings...

Tuesday 02/03

Saturday 06/03

Tubelord and Tall Ships The Chameleon £6, 7.30pm

Trivium Rock City £16.50, 6.30pm

Tinchy Stryder Rock City £14, 7.30pm

Nat Johnson and The Figureheads The Bodega £5, 7pm

Wednesday 03/03

Borderline The Hubb Free, 9pm

The Stranglers Rock City £23, 6.30pm Revolution Sounds The Maze £6, 8pm The JB Conspiracy, Anti-Vigilante, Solution Against, Addictive Philoshy and more tbc.

Thursday 04/03 Carlene Carter The Maze £17, 7.30pm Hadouken!

The Rescue Rooms £12.50, 7pm

Friday 05/03 Splinter The Robin Hood Free, 9pm Heaven’s Basement Rock City £7.50, 7pm

Saturday 06/03 Percussion The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am Fade Gatecrasher £8 / £10, 10pm - 4am

De10SsHn Sound: 7th Bday!

Image Bar £5, 9pm - 4am

Sunday 07/03 Vader The Central £12, 6.30pm Plus As You Drown, Divine Chaos, Lordaeron and Threnody.

(HED) PE The Rescue Rooms £10, 6.30pm Threat Signal and Attila.

Tuesday 09/03 Lisa Mitchell The Bodega £6.50, 7pm Audio Bullys The Rescue Rooms £12.50, 7.30pm ATC/ BTPAM - Split EP Launch The Chameleon £3, 8.30pm

Wednesday 10/03 Gift of Gab The Rescue Rooms £10, 7.30pm Katatonia Rock City £9, 7pm

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

Valentia’s Day Star City: The Future Under Communism

Nottingham Contemporary set the bar high with their debut exhibitions from Francis Stark and David Hockney, and it seems they aren’t going to drop their standards anytime soon. As part of Polska! Year of Polish Culture, Star City is a major – and unprecedented – exhibition inspired by science fiction and futurology under Cold War communism during the sixties and seventies. This, according to co-curator, Lukasz Ronduda, was “the last time people living in Warsaw Pact countries believed in the future.”

Star City - named after the USSR’s secret cosmonaut base - showcases leading artists of the post-communist European art scene who revisit how the future was experienced and imagined from the other side of the Iron Curtain, and explain why those visions are important today. The list of artists is too extensive to mention but, impressively, over half of the works on display have been commissioned especially for the exhibition. Pieces featured range from film to print to installations to sculptures. In addition, there will be a range of real objects from the Space Race and Soviet popular culture, including propaganda posters, sci-fi toys and a life-sized sputnik replica.

The works within Star City are by turns socio-political and imaginary, melancholic and absurd, ravishing and esoteric. One of the highlights includes a huge sculpture, by Tomaszewski and Malinowska, of the first woman in space, Valentia Tereshkova. The piece will occupy the entire 300-metre square room - appropriately named, The Space – and you’ll be able to enter the cosmonaut-cum-deity through revolving doors that are situated between her open legs, which isn’t an invitation anyone should turn down in haste. Tobias Putrih will be building a retrofuturistic cinema, made from the glass walls of a seventies Yugoslavian supermarket, to accommodate the screening of Narkevicius’s alternative ending to the Tarkovsky’s seventies cult classic, Solaris.

Star City: The Future Under Communism looks to be an important, ambitious and impressive exhibition that shouldn’t be missed by young or old. Equally, it will emphasise the space that Nottingham Contemporary has to offer as a gallery.

Star City, 13 February-18 April 2010, Nottingham Contemporary, Weekday Cross, NG1 2GB nottinghamcontemporary.org

Wednesday 10/03

Wednesday 10/03

Friday 12/03

The Invisible The Bodega £7, 7pm

L-VIS 1990 The Market Bar £3, 9pm

The 69 Eyes Rock City £11, 7pm

Thursday 11/03

Friday 12/03

Brazilica The Hubb Free, 9pm

Fusion Club The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am Dynamic (Good Looking Records).

Kaysha, Beggar Su and Ikaro.

Aba-Shanti-I Soundsystem The Maze £5.99, 8pm - 2am

Dag For Dag The Bodega £6, 8pm

Saturday 13/03 Karnivool Rock City £8, 7.30pm

leftlion.co.uk/issue33

25

event listings...

Saturday 13/03

Friday 19/03

Reprogression The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am

NorthSea International The Robin Hood Free, 9pm

Ghoul Garden The Maze £3.50, 9pm

The Hidden Cameras The Bodega £11, 7pm

DJ Mark Hughes The Hubb Free, 9pm

Edguy The Rescue Rooms £15, 6.30pm

The Pitty Pat Club The Bodega £6, 8pm

Saturday 20/03

Bluejaks The Robin Hood Free, 9pm The Shakes The Malt Cross £3.50, 8pm

Monday 15/03 Fun Lovin’ Criminals Rock City £17.50, 7.30pm Autechre Stealth £10, 8pm Rob Hall, Russell Haswell and Didjit.

Friday 19/03 Stumble inda Jungle The Maze £3, 9pm Geoff Farina and Chris Brokaw Lee Rosy’s Tea Shop £5, 7:30pm Pressure Drop The Hubb Free, 9pm Spunge Rock City £10, 7pm

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The Fillers The Rescue Rooms £10, 7pm Him Rock City £20, 6.30pm Lean Valley Band The Hubb Free, 9pm

Sunday 21/03 Turin Brakes The Rescue Rooms £16.50, 7.30pm Stiff Little Fingers Rock City £15, 7.30pm Brother Ali The Bodega £8.50, 7.30pm

Wednesday 24/03 Thee Silver The Rescue Rooms £13.50, 7.30pm

Thursday 25/03 Northgate Slide The Hubb Free, 9pm

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

Scribe Vibe The cream of East Midlands writers are linking up in Loughborough - and LeftLion want to get you in for nowt Attention, wordsmiths looking to take a huge step in their literary careers: quite possibly the most intelligent thing you could do all year would be to attend the Writing Industries Conference, held in March at Loughborough University. WIC 2010 will bring together writers from across the East Midlands professionals from the writing industries to share knowledge, develop skills and forge new contacts.

200 writers from the region will have the opportunity to hear from and meet with writing industries professionals in a variety of settings: there’ll be a series of panel discussions exploring specific areas of writing, from breaking into commercial publishing to working in the community (including our own Editor, Al Needham, gobbing off about his sex blog Todger Talk). There’ll be a fair featuring stalls from local publishers, funders and other organisations. And there’ll be plenty of opportunity to meet, talk, chat up and God knows what else with others over a coffee.

Perhaps because Writing East Midlands and the Literature Network are helping to coordinate the conference there is a real writer-focused emphasis to the events, the culmination of which is the opportunity to have one-toone sessions with agents and editors. That’s right, you read correctly: there’s an opportunity to physically talk to someone important about your own work, although places for this are limited - see writingindustries.com for application details.

Tickets for this event are going for £42, but LeftLion would like to offer one lucky member from our forum a bursary to attend WIC 2010. Details of how to apply can be found on the WriteLion 4# podcast, which will feature further information from conference coordinators Aly Stoneman, Damien Walter and Catherine Rogers.

Writing Industries Conference, Saturday 6 March, Loughborough University / writingindustries.com

Thursday 25/03

Friday 26/03

Saturday 27/03

Run, Walk!

The Chameleon £3, 8.30pm Plus Aged Yummy, Fake Broken Legs and With Knives.

Funky Thump The Loft Free, 8pm - 1am

Burn The Negative Stealth £5, 10.15pm

Nachtmystium Rock City £8, 7pm Plus The Psyke Project.

Ronnie Londons Groove Lounge Grosvenor £3 before 11pm, 8pm - 1am

The Jim Jones Revue The Bodega £8.50, 7pm Woody Pines The Maze £10, 7.30pm The Four Tops Trent FM Arena Nottingham £38, 7pm The Temptations, The Drifters, The 3 Degrees.

Islands The Bodega £8.50, 7pm Smokin’ Hogs The Robin Hood Free, 9pm

Saturday 27/03 Emery The Rescue Rooms £10, 7pm

Sunday 28/03 Nearly Dan The Rescue Rooms £10, 7.30pm Zebrahead Rock City £10, 7.30pm The Sunday Sessions The Robin Hood Free, 6.30pm

nottingham event listings...

THEATRE Monday 01/02 The Circus of Horrors Royal Centre £14 - £33, 7.30pm

Wednesday 03/02 The Gay Man’s Guide Lace Market Theatre £6 / £7, 7.30pm

Friday 05/03 Danza Contemporanea de Cuba Nottingham Playhouse £12.50 - £20, 7.30pm Runs until: 06/03

Tuesday 09/03 Those Magnificent Men Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm

Runs until: 06/11

Wednesday 10/03

Tuesday 09/02

A Number Lace Market Theatre £6 / £7, 7.30pm Runs until: 13/10

Poetry in the Hood Robin Hood Free, 8.30pm With John Micallef and The Mullet Proof Poet.

Our Day Out Nottingham Arts Theatre £7 - £10, 7.30pm Runs until: 13/02

Thursday 11/02 Forever Young Nottingham Playhouse £10 - £20, Various times Runs until: 27/02

Thursday 18/02 Antigone Sandfield Theatre £7, 7.30pm Runs until: 19/02

Friday 19/03 A Day of the Death of Joe Egg Nottingham Playhouse £7 - £26.50, Various times Runs until: 03/04

Friday 26/03 Fakebook Nottingham Playhouse £5 / £6, 8pm

Opening in November 2009, Cuadros Contemporary Art Gallery is situated within Hockley (inhabiting the space that was formerly Plank) and cements the city’s reputation as the fastest-growing art scene in the UK. The aim of Cuadros is to celebrate local and international artists by sourcing, displaying and selling artwork at reasonable prices. A mere nose around its cosy duplex space tells you all you need to know; impressive original pieces alongside signed, limited edition prints by world class, highly collectable artists.

Prior to opening Cuadros, owner George managed a chain of galleries, which gave him the impetus to support and represent artists of his own taste. Cuadros has also been set up to help in the promotion and education of contemporary approaches to art in Nottingham, whilst bringing the personal touch which can often be lost in commercial art spaces.

The gallery is also proud to represent graffiti artists Urban Canvas who specialise in large-scale street art for community projects and developers as part of Nottingham’s regeneration schemes. Jon Burgerman and Tim Lee are just two of the many local artists making waves internationally that the space is keen to promote. Upcoming events will include everything from one-man shows to group exhibitions, making Cuadros well worth a visit.

Blood Brothers Royal Centre £12 - £32.50, Various times Runs until: 10/04

Monday 01/02

Saturday 13/02

Sunday 14/02

[re]locate by Tahera Aziz New Art Exchange Free, 10am - 7pm Runs until: 10/04

Star City Nottingham Contemporary Free, All day Runs until: 17/04 How was the future imagined under Communism?

Real Deal Comedy Jam Tour ‘Valentines Special’ NTU Union £10, 7.45pm - 10.45pm Drew Fraser, Annette Fagon, Kurt Metzger, Wayne Rollins and Kat.

Measure and Purpose Surface Gallery Free, All day

Sunday 21/02

Dr Sketchy’s Anti Art School Nottingham Escucha £8, 1pm - 4pm

Hui-Chen-Lin Lakeside Arts Centre Free, All day Runs until: 21/02

Thursday 25/02

Pavillion Commissions Lakeside Arts Centre Free, 11am-5pm Runs until: 28/02 Work by Frederico Câmara, Steffi Klenz, Stephen Vaughan and Tomoko Yoneda.

The Land of Yes and The Land of No Nottingham Playhouse £8.50 - £18, 8pm

There’s a new art gallery in town - but it’s not in the Lace Market...

Cuadros. 1A Heathcoat Street, Hockley, NG1 3AF.

EXHIBITIONS Monday 01/02

Tuesday 02/03

Cuadrophenia

Monday 29/03

Saturday 20/02

Beating Burlosconi Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm Runs until: 26/2

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

The Meaning of Style New Art Exchange Free, Mon - Fri 10am - 7pm, Sat 10am - 5pm Runs until: 10/04

cuadros.co.uk

Portraits of a Jamaican Family New Art Exchange Free, All day Runs until: 13/02

Tuesday 02/02 Naomi Terry - In a city not too far away...

The Wasp Room Free, Thu-Sun, 12pm - 5pm Runs until: 21/01

Monday 22/02 The perfection of the iMperfect Surface Gallery Free, All day Runs until: 27/02

Friday 05/02

Friday 26/02

Tacitly Speaking Backlit Free entry, 12pm - 5pm Runs until: 21/02

Reservoirs of Darkness Lakeside Arts Centre Free, All day Runs until: 11/04

Lens Flair

Pan-global Picciness at Lakeside this Feb Throughout February, Pavilion Commissions are exhibiting new works by four photographers at Lakeside Arts Centre. Pavilion collaborates with artists on the research and production of lens-based work that resonates with contemporary culture, giving the viewer a fresh and broad range of ideas and images to consider.

Frederico Camara takes an ethnographic approach to his photography, extending his Stephen Vaughan, Ultima Thule research to examine our inability to re-create natural environments within zoos or to preserve them in the wild. Steffi Klenz examines the unusual Naiku shrine, a Japanese Shinto temple, which is dismantled and re-built every twenty years. In a process akin to Chinese whispers, she only worked with models of the shrine and her only references to it were images and stories.

Stephen Vaughan’s pieces also consider Japan; his interest is with the Shiretoko region, a geologically unstable landscape which links to his previous works that look at significant points on the tectonic map. Finally, Tomoko Yoneda focuses on human relationships in modern culture, her photographs examine alienation, technology, spirituality and compassion.

Pavilion Commissions, until Sunday 28 February

Ice Ice Baby Icebreaker smash into Lakeside

Founded over twenty years ago and now one of the most unique new music groups in Britain, Icebreaker are a thirteen-piece group whose unusual instrumental combination includes pan-pipes, saxophone, electric violin, guitars, keyboards, accordion and cello. Always amplified, Icebreaker create music that appeals to contemporary classical, rock and alternative audiences alike.

No strangers to playing in both Europe and the United States, they’ve clocked up appearances at The Huddersfield Contemporary Music Festival, the Warsaw, Aurhus, Gent, Grenoble and Budapest festivals and the NYYD Festival in Estonia. They’re one of the few bands in the world who have their own dedicated festival, at the Wiener Musik Galerie in Austria - get them. Other notable appearances have taken place in New York’s Carnegie Hall and London’s Barbican– meaning that this intimate gig promises to be very special indeed.

Icebreaker, Wednesday 24 February at Lakeside Arts Centre, University Park, NG7 2RD. Tickets £15/£12 conc. lakeside.org.uk

Saturday 06/03 Without from Within Lakeside Arts Centre Free, All day Runs until: 03/05

COMEDY Tuesday 02/02 Count Arthur Strong Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm Runs until: 03/03 Should I Stay or Should I Go? Maze £4 / £5, 8pm

Sunday 07/02 Comedy in the Hood Robin Hood Free, 8pm Pete Smith, Dave Dinsdale, Paul Savage, Lee Grant and Johnny “Shawaddywaddy” Sorrow.

Saturday 13/02 Dave Gorman Royal Centre £18.50, 8m

Chris Addison Nottingham Playhouse £15, 7.30pm

Monday 22/02 Pub Poetry Nottingham Canalhouse Free, 8pm – 10.30pm

Thursday 25/02 An Audience With Trevor Francis Approach £10, 9pm

Saturday 27/02 Steve Royle Bunkers Hill Inn £7 adv, 7.30pm

Thursday 04/03 Lee Mack Royal Centre £18.50, 8pm

Thursday 18/03 Jo Caulfield Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm

Tuesday 23/03 Should I Stay or Should I Go? Maze £4 / £6, 8pm

Saturday 27/03 Marc Lucero Bunkers Hill Inn £7 adv, 7.30pm Plus Rob Heeney, Tom Goodliffe and Spiky Mike.

Brian Higgins Strathdon £10 (£15 with meal), 8pm Alfie Moore, Pete Smith and Spiky Mike. leftlion.co.uk/issue33

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There’s nothing we like more at LeftLion than stuffing our fat swedes with a load of good scran. So in the second instalment of our food page we check out some more places to eat in Notts...

words: Jared Wilson and Al Needham

LE BISTROT PIERRE

JAMCAFE

RIPPLE

If you want an example of a restaurant that knows what it’s on with, look no further than across from Viccy Centre at the queues hanging out the door of Le BP on a weekday dinner hour. There’s several reasons for this; it’s Frenchified without being up itself, it’s a cut above the average restaurant without making humping motions against your wallet (having practically taken ownership of the Outstanding Value title at the Nottingham Restaurant Awards last decade). Plus, the snap is - as they say on the banks of the Seine – well propeur, mon duque.

It’s probably better known as a coffee shop and a music venue around these parts, but the Hockley-based JamCafe do a great line in tasty and ethically-sourced food, too. The moment you walk in, you immediately sense a laid-back and creative atmosphere. With big leather sofas or dining chairs to sit on, intriguing sixties and seventies memorabilia adorning the walls and a consistently good selection of music, they definitely have plenty of style. Plus when we ate there they played Tom Waits songs all night too. Result!

Ripple is a small, but perfectly formed, café bar restaurant in the heart of Sherwood. All their food is made from fresh ingredients, with a massive selection of vegan, veggie and gluten-free fare on offer.

Haw hee haw hee haw

Where to start? Well, the décor’s minter than an entire kitchen wall that has been tiled with After Eights. It’s continental, but not overtly so – don’t expect to be assailed by accordion players on bikes with onions slung round their necks. Once you’re in, you forget that you’re virtually next door to a TK Maxx, and that’s the main thing.

The food? Well, there’s loads of it. We got stuck into the saucisson de toulouse (£4.95) - a smattering of sausage and poached duck egg served with a warm tomato dressing, and the fromage grillé (£4.95), cheese on toast that really thinks it’s summat, with a hunk of St. Marcelin on sourdough, with pear chutney on the side.

The mains were gargantuan. The 8oz rump steak (£13.50) was a slab of Scottish cow done to perfection, with a tangyas-blinkin’-flip red wine and caramelised red onion reduction.

Meanwhile, the rope-grown moules mariniéres (£12.50) practically filled a massive saucepan with fishy, creamy, shalotty goodness and took ages to get through.

We managed to fit in a chocolate brownie and a tarte au citron that made my tabs burst into hysterical laughter (£4.50) and a couple of Irish coffees before being rolled out onto the street by the helpful but not over-fussy staff (tip: seeing as being French or French-Canadian appears to be a requirement of the job, don’t bother trying to impress your mates by pronouncing the dishes properly to the floor staff unless you actually do speak the language – they know what you want).

It’s easy to see why Le BP is still packing ‘em in even though times are rougher than North Korean toilet paper; it effortlessly breaches the gap between the dirt-cheap nosheries and budget-buggering restaurants, you feel totally at ease even when the place is rammed to the gills and there’s always something else you need to try on the menu the next time you’re there.

13-17 Milton Street, Nottingham NG1 3EN. 0115 9412 850 lebistrotpierre.co.uk

What a delightful spread

Making Waves

If you’re going in early in the day, choose from their breakfast special (muffin, scrambled eggs, streaky bacon, sautéed mushrooms, pork chipolatas and homemade baked beans £5.25), chunky toast and jam for two (£3.50), boiled egg and soldiers (£2.95), Welsh rarebit (£3.65) or smoked salmon and scrambled eggs (£4.65). If you want a quick bite for lunch, there’s a wide selection of sandwiches, wraps and melts such as crispy bacon and beetroot (£4.25), hummus and roasted veg (£4.25), falafel pitta (£4.25) and minted brie pitta (£4.45).

Throw in a dozen or so sides and savouries to choose from and this could be a good place for an informal lunch with friends or colleagues.

But if you go there for your evening dinner then you’ll see that they save their best for then. I went for the smoked haddock with chorizo (£6.65) served with sweet potato mash and a spicy tomato sauce. The combination of the fish and spicy sausage might not seem the most obvious, but it worked a treat and left me wanting more. My guest went for the chicken ballontine (£7.95) with cranberry and leeks, wrapped in Serrano ham and served with new potatoes. The chicken was cooked to perfection and complimented well by the ham.

Other possibilities we might try next time include blue stilton, pear and walnut salad with homemade blue cheese dressing (£6.25), three bean stew of tender chickpeas and mixed beans, served with warm pitta bread (£5.95), shepherds pie and minted peas (£6.95) and Teriyaki salmon and noodles with spring onions, ribbon carrots and pak choi (£6.95).

So next time you’re hungry in Hockley, check this place out.

There are multiple places to eat around that little haven of independent shops, cafes and eateries - but this is among the best of them. It might take a bit finding at first, but it’s just a minute or two on foot from the Broadway Cinema. Once you’ve found it, you’ll definitely remember it for next time, when you do make sure you take a copy of this mag as there’s a 10% off voucher on page eleven!

12 Heathcote St, NG1 3AA 0115 9483 566 jamcafe.info

They have an extensive and healthy breakfast menu and lunch offers up a wide range of ciabattas including goat’s cheese and red pepper (£6.25), steak (£8.25) or king prawn, lime and ginger (£8.25). There are also dozens of tasty tapas-style dishes to choose from.

We came to sample the evening menu, though. I started with the mussels in a Thai-style chilli and lemongrass sauce (£5.95). In a city so far from the ocean this can be tricky to pull off, but this dish would not have been out of place at three times the price on a posh promenade. My guest went for the oven-baked goat’s cheese served on homemade raisin toast (£4.95) and found that the sweetness of the bread and chutney complimented the cheese superbly.

For mains, we were tempted by the likes of the honey mustard pork with mash (£11.50), the chicken and chorizo (£9.95) and the char-grilled 10oz steak (£15.50). But I eventually settled on the charging rhino salad (£8.25); a feast of vegetables topped with two Thai-style salmon fishcakes (£2 extra). You know those restaurant salads that are just a token effort? Well this was the complete opposite and I cleared my plate! My guest went for the traditional sausages and mash (£6.95), served with lashings of rich red onion gravy and peas, delicious!

As always, we’d saved room for dessert and shared a chocolate fudge cake (£4.25) served with ice cream and a big fat strawberry. We also took home a slice of their fluffy cherry and almond cake (£2.50).

A final mention must go to the cocktail menu. I plumped for a mocktail, the Nojito (£3). My guest went alcoholic and had the Sherwood Sherbert; a mixture of gin, vodka, lemongrass, lemonade, lime and, fantastically, topped with popping candy like you used to get when you were a kid.

The things which shine through most are the love that has gone into creating the place: the relaxed and romantic decor, the friendly staff, the fresh and wholesome menu and the overall feel good nature. We haven’t even mentioned the weekly specials board yet! You’ll just have to pop in and see that for yourself.

577 Mansfield Road, Sherwood, NG5 2JN 0115 9693335 ripplecafebar.co.uk

Beane Noodler of MyHouse-YourHouse continues his quest to eat at every takeaway in Nottingham…

City Kebabs

My long relationship with City Kebabs began nine years ago when I witnessed a friend of mine being pretty much thrown through the front window by, erm, one of his best mates. That night a close bond was formed between their kebabs and my mouth that has endured for many years.

Situated but a few metres from the infamous Thurland, City Kebabs is a late night eaterie that - at weekends - feels like Clapham Junction. Probably one of the busiest places in town, with randoms from all walks of life rubbing shoulders - partly due to its central location, but mainly because its brilliant conveyer belt serving system gets you in and out in ten minutes. Lovely.

The menu is extensive, but where it really comes alive is its range of deep fried then microwaved don’t-ask-where-it came-from chicken selection. KFC it ain’t, but it could sure hold its own in an arm wrestle, of that I am certain.

7 Thurland Street, NG1 3DR

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Bombay Brasserie

Choice is a wonderful thing - but not when you’re hung over, craving a decent curry, and are confronted by a kitchen pinboard heaving with menus. Bombay Brasserie might actually be a restaurant (in Mapperley and West Bridgford), but they also have a damn fine takeaway service that - in my opinion – is one of the best.

Its menu boasts all the usual suspects for the die-hard curry monsters, complete with a boss naan bread selection and some serious side dish palaver. Where they come into their own, however, is the chef specials they have tucked up their sleeve that - brace yourself - actually live up to the menu descriptions. Not the cheapest takeaway out there, but you’re getting restaurant-quality food, so shush. Get yourself booked onto the sofa this Sunday and give ‘em a call. Oh, and make sure you’re properly hung over.

39 Plains Road - Mapperley / www.bombaybrasserieofmapperley.com

14 track CD album in stores now “The system that meets the wants of the few by denying the needs of the majority is in its twilight years� www.dealmakerrecords.com

Aquarius (January 20 - February 19) Often reading between the lines can be easier than following the text - the human mind is subjective by nature. Final judgements are rarely just and strong opinions are rarely built upon the strength of all the available information.

Pisces (February 20 - March 20) You can keep your bathroom shower cubicle sparkling clean longer by washing the whole shower stall, then waxing with car wax (not turtle wax as this is green, be sure to get the clear stuff). This keeps blood from sticking to the sides.

Aries (March 21 - April 20) Be prepared for a shock this month! I sense pain in your future as a drunken debate with friends about the use of stun guns gets messy following your repeated and stubborn assertions that they don’t work on you.

LEFTLION ABROAD Susukino Crossing, Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan

Taurus (April 21 - May 21) How big was the big bang? How universal is the Universe? The story of the world and its creation has always fascinated you and you’re right to seek out more information. But be aware that the ending will leave you with a lot of unanswered questions.

Gemini (May 22 - June 22)

Susukino is a major red-light district located in Hokkaido, Japan. It’s one of the major pimping areas of the whole country - a definite step up from our very own Forest Road. A walk along the Crossing will reveal all manner of illuminated restaurants, seedy bars, by-the-hour hotels and adult-entertainment establishments.

Give a man a fish and he can feed his family for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can feed them forever. However, be prepared to be shunned by both that man and his family when his children start to die of mercury poisoning.

The photo was sent in by Notts-based filmmaker Simon Ellis, whose short films have been shown across the globe, from London to Los Angeles. The girl holding a copy of our mag is Tokyo artist Komada Kozue who, we’re told, “does huge, bugger-off paintings in front of a live audience, usually in a paint-spattered kimono.”

Cancer (June 23 - July 23)

If you can get a photo of a LeftLion sticker or magazine somewhere exotic email us on info@leftlion.co.uk

DH Lawrence once wrote: “The only justice is to follow the sincere intuition of the soul, angry or gentle. Anger is just, and pity is just, but judgement is never just.” Then he went and shagged the gardener.

Leo (July 24 - August 23) Following a nasty traffic accident doctors will refuse to operate on you this month. This not due to any moral concerns, fiscal dilemmas or even health-related fears. They’re just a vindictive and hateful bunch.

Virgo (August 24 - September 23) Think carefully before you plump for that mortgage as the decision you make now will affect you for years to come. You could end up trapped in a hell of your own making, forcing you to admit that you really should have put in a bathroom.

Libra (September 24 - October 23) Keep your piping clear under the sink by pouring a quarter cup of baking soda down the drain, mixed with a cup of vinegar. This creates a chemical reaction, which you should follow up with boiling water fifteen minutes later. G’lug with that!

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) Discipline is like a refining fire by which talent is forged to become ability. At first it’s hard to make yourself do something outside of your circle of comfort, but eventually you will acquiesce. At this point you are ready to push yourself even further.

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22) Vegetarians coming round to dinner? Simply serve them up a nice roast chicken or leg of lamb.

Since they’re always going on about how tofu, Quorn, and Linda McCartney’s “tastes exactly like the real thing,” they shouldn’t notice any difference.

Capricorn (December 23 - January 19) This alignment of the stars in March will turn you into an angry, crazed, ferocious and totally out-of-control monster. But this is not down to the astrological implications, it just happens to coincide with your period.

LeftLion Magazine Issue #34 will be bouncing into a venue near you on the last weekend of March, just in time for Easter...

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Puss in Boots

Jesse Boot

Born: 17th Centur y

Born: 1850 istr Made a killing at: Chem

y business

Made a killing at: Og

res castle

Headgear: Ibuprofen

Headgear: Feathered

Habits: 3 for 2 deals

Habits: Ball-licking

Annual profit: £302m

Annual profit: 3 blin

hat

d mice

Petrol prices hitting your pocket?

Some great ticketing options mean big savings on the sustainable transport network. www.thebigwheel.org.uk