21 minute read
Confidence is the antidote to social anxiety disorder
Since being approximately 5-years-old, Attorney Scot Goldberg started experiencing headaches, stomach aches, massive weight loss, weight gain, uncontrollable shaking, cold feet, restless legs, insomnia, and an overwhelming feeling of dread. The cause of these symptoms was unknown. “From a toddler up, until after graduating from high school, I was tested for everything from cancer to IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). (I had) ct scans, upper and lower GI testing,” Goldberg says. The overwhelming feeling of dread came from a “sinking feeling that no else understands or even believes you that you’re having these conditions.”
Goldberg was finally properly diagnosed in 1991, when he was a 20-year-old in college. The diagnosis was social anxiety disorder.
Dr. Laura Streyffeler, a licensed mental health counselor, says, “People confuse being shy or being introverted as having social anxiety disorder. That’s not what it is. It’s where being around other people interferes, or significantly impacts, your ability to function.” With social anxiety disorder, the person fears others are scrutinizing them and judging them negatively. They worry about embarrassing or humiliating themselves. They also fear others will notice they appear anxious. They may have low self-esteem and poor social skills. Everyday interactions cause significant anxiety and selfconsciousness. As a result, they avoid doing things and speaking to people. Streyffeler says, “Some people don’t want to even go outside their home or other ‘safe place’.” The fear and anxiety lead to avoidance that can disrupt the person’s life. It affects relationships, daily routines, work, school and other activities. There’s also a concern that people with social anxiety disorder are at increased risk for suicide, substance use and major depressive disorder. It is estimated that fifteen million American adults have social anxiety disorder. It typically begins in the early to mid-teens, though it can sometimes start in younger children or in adults. More than 75% of people experience their first symptoms during their childhood or early teenage years.
The symptoms can be visible, like a flushed face or chest, sweating, trembling or a shaky voice. The anxiety can cause headaches, stomach issues, upset stomach or nausea, trouble catching your breath, dizziness or lightheadedness, cold feet, erratic heart rate, stomach cramps, feeling that your mind has gone blank and muscle tension. Goldberg says, “All of these issues can be scary and very real.” Streyffeler explains social anxiety disorder is not diagnosed just based on the symptoms. She says the diagnosis is based on asking questions and “looking at the context of their whole life.” Many times the cause can be traced back to “some type of trauma”. She also says, “Most of the time, there’s a genetic predisposition.” There are ways to successfully manage social anxiety disorder, primarily by learning coping skills in psychotherapy and taking medications. Getting help early always assists with treatment. The course of treatment helps the person gain confidence and improve their ability to interact with others. Streyffeler says, “The disorder adds insult to injury because it makes people really feel like they’re broken, but they’re not, just struggling.” Goldberg says, “Back then, it was still treated in the general population as a weakness, or a stigma. My family and friends would not let me view it that way. The help of a good therapist is the most important part of the puzzle for me. After finally being diagnosed, I was lucky enough to be referred to a psychiatrist who helped me with meds, and had me speak to a psychologist in his office.” Streyffeler says the type of coping skills to use depends upon how old the person is, what type of support system
Scot Goldberg, Esq.
they have and the type of person they are. She says, “Just seeing a therapist isn’t going to make it go away. You have to do the work.”
Streyffeler says people make the mistake of focusing on the diagnosis label. “They focus on the cause or on the symptoms, and don’t work on coping.” Goldberg believes “confidence is the antidote to anxiety, even sometimes when you have to fake it”. He counsels you have to believe you will be alright and you shouldn’t “hide in your safe place to avoid the runaway thoughts and fears”.
“The safe place is usually at home, with only people around you that understand your condition. A familiar place is a safe place and will allow you to feel comfort. However, retreating there and not venturing out is a slippery slope. When I did this, or still do this, I know that I am not helping myself or my illness.” Other ways to reduce the impact of social anxiety disorder include exercising, meditating, journaling, managing time and energy by setting priorities and avoiding unhealthy substances, which can include caffeine or nicotine. Streyffeler says, “Working off that nervous energy helps.” From his course of treatment, Goldberg has learned, “you have to be willing to accept the uncomfortable feeling you get from anxiety. Not fight it, but allow it to flow through you. Knowing that you will not feel this way for long, and it will not kill you. I know it sounds funny to say it will not kill you, but when you’re at your wits end, that’s how it feels.”
“I know that certain things will trigger the anxiety, so I am not looking for it, but at the same time, if it happens, I know what I can do to help myself. This is of great help to me mentally, and it also allows for other people with these issues to know that they are not alone. It’s ok to feel anxious, but always knowing you will feel better in time, and not to let it take over your life.” “Even with treatment, you can still fall under these very real objective side effects of anxiety. However, treatment gives you hope. Hope is a very powerful tool when you have gone for years and no one could tell you why you’re feeling this way. It does not magically go away. Ever. It can return for good reason or for no apparent reason. Treatment or no treatment.”
When feeling anxious in a social situation, getting fresh air or some deep breathing can help. Streyffeler says, “Oxygen counteracts adrenaline, which is triggered by the ‘fight or flight’ response of the anxiety.” Most people who have social anxiety disorder don’t want to speak about it. They want to hide it. One person characterizes talking about it publicly as “career suicide”. Streyffeler says high-functioning professionals, such as attorneys, can be good at hiding the anxiety and putting on a strong public persona. She says they are able to do that because they may not feel vulnerability; rather, “they perceive themselves in a power position.” Streyffeler also point out high-functioning professionals can be proficient at developing “high coping skills”. Despite his condition, Goldberg is a successful trial attorney, manages a busy personal injury practice and meets with several clients and business contacts daily. While social anxiety disorder is something Goldberg will always deal with, he wants other people with the same condition to know, “they can still continue to do great things”. Goldberg believes it’s important to talk about anxiety to let people know it’s more common than they think. He says, “The most important thing anyone can do to support people with social anxiety is to talk about it. Get it out in the open. As a society we have to embrace the people that have this issue, as a way to understand and support what they are going through. In doing that, the people that have this are more likely to seek help. The more people with this disease that are free to speak about it, the more it will help them assimilate back into society, as well as make those same people not afraid to talk about it. Hearing others talk about their struggles and their accomplishments about social anxiety just promotes others to come out into the sun and realize that there is a better way.”
Dr. Laura Streyffeler
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1. Hon. Archie Hayward, Ethel Wells, Hon. James Adams 2. Cynthia Duff, Blake Hampton, Kelly Fayer 3. Lee Golden, Blake Hampton, Kristin Dilorio 4. Hon. Zachary Gill, Kevin Karnes, Hon. Andrew Swett,
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by lauren baugh
If you are from Lee County, I imagine you know of Lawhon’s Grocery, or have heard of it. Although I have heard people speak of it many times, I had never ventured to its location in North Fort Myers. When I recently needed to find a tomahawk steak, though, I called several local butchers, and they referred me to Lawhon’s Grocery. When you are the business other local shops refer customers to, you know you are doing something special. I soon learned Lawhon’s Grocery is a true gem among us. When I drive in North Fort Myers, I expect to see many gas stations and commercial and agricultural property. What I don’t expect is to get $40 on pump number 2 and amazing quality fresh meats at the same location! The two just don’t roll off the tongue together. Imagine being given the task to find a tomahawk steak and being told the gas station on Bayshore was the spot you needed to go. I drive up to the gas station, and it is busy, really busy. I walk in thinking I am going to find a typical gas station convenience store. This assumption could not be further from the truth.
I am greeted by smiles of employees and patrons alike. I see the typical items: cigarettes, sodas, snacks, beer, etc. As I walk in another ten steps, I realize quite quickly this is going to be a fun errand. I look down the aisle, and they have a huge selection of cold house-made sandwiches.
All your freshly sliced deli meats and cheeses are right there as you walk in. You can also get homemade mac n’ cheese, BBQ baked beans, collard greens, pulled pork, fresh fried fish, fresh fried chicken and the list goes on. That is just lunch service, and they also serve a bunch of homemade breakfast items in the morning.
As if that is not exciting enough (the smell of freshly fried chicken is enough to make your mouth water for sure!), I walk past those items and look to my right.
Laurine Belanger, daughter of the original owner Richard Lawhon, and her husband Larry.
I see a wall of fresh and local produce, plus every kind of beef, pork and chicken cut you can think of, and I mean every cut! They offer a wide variety of meat packages for any size family at very reasonable prices. Need fresh hotdogs for your holiday BBQ? They have them. Need fresh pork sausage for your breakfast? They have that too!
Need fresh, local, thick cut bacon? Yep. They have it! But the steak…these steaks are the perfect picture of marbled steaks, and I can tell you from my recent experiences with these steaks (I have been back each week), they are full of flavor. You need little to no seasoning. Not sure how to cook the steak? They will tell you. Want it cut right off the bone to a certain thickness? You guessed it; they will do it. The staff behind each counter is super friendly and knowledgeable, but the butcher counter crew has become my favorite. If you call ahead and ask them to set something aside, they will do this for you. If you have the chance to go to Lawhon’s Grocery, you should go. You will not regret anything, except not bringing a larger cooler to haul your treasure home! lawhonsgrocery.com | 239.543.1255 9491 Bayshore Rd. North Fort Myers, FL 33917 Monday – Friday: 5:30am – 7pm Saturday: 7am – 7pm Closed Sunday’s
Photos - opposite page: tomahawk steak; middle top: chicken philly sandwich; middle bottom: buffalo chicken sandwich; left: scrambled egg breakfast meal with fresh bacon
Lauren Baugh is the Executive Director at Lee County Bar Association and can be reached at lauren@leebar.org.
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1. I am a twin, the oldest by two minutes! My twin brother is my polar opposite, and we have not been able to find any other twins in our family. I also have another brother and two sisters. They all live in Northeast Florida. 2. I am deaf in my left ear, and my twin brother is fully deaf. We were born deaf, and the doctors attributed it to being born premature. My whole family knows American Sign Language. 3. I have never lived in another state. I grew up in Baker County, Florida, which is near Jacksonville. I moved to Lee County in 2006 to attend Florida Gulf Coast University, and I never moved back. I also have a Masters from American Public University. 4. I once drove in a presidential motorcade. It was President Donald Trump’s motorcade when he visited our area to observe the destruction from Hurricane Irma. The experience was awesome! 5. I am deathly afraid of birds! It is a long story, and let’s just say it was a bad experience putting 10-15 chickens back into their cage, which they escaped from. I haven’t recovered since.
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Dal Lago Law is pleased to announce Jennifer Duffy has joined the firm as an associate attorney. Duffy focuses her practice on bankruptcy and business law. She works together with her clients to facilitate the formation of a new business and to maintain that business throughout its lifespan. Should the need ever arise, Jennifer will guide clients through the Chapter 11 bankruptcy process in an effort to reestablish a business’ successful endeavor.
Grant Fridkin Pearson, P.A. sadly reports that its longtime colleague, partner and friend, David G. Budd, passed away on October 27, 2021. David was a practicing lawyer and member of the Ohio and Florida bars for well over 50 years combined, most of which were in Collier County. He loved the practice of law, took great pride in our profession and was loved by his clients. David is survived by his wife of 57 years, Barbarann, daughter Anne and son David.
Henderson, Franklin, Starnes & Holt, P.A., is pleased to announce Monique Lopez has joined the firm as an associate in the Tort & Insurance Litigation Department. Lopez has over 20 years of experience in the legal industry, having worked as a legal assistant in Henderson Franklin’s family law department before enrolling in Ave Maria School of Law. Today, Lopez represents individuals and insurance carriers involved in civil litigation, with an emphasis on construction defects, personal injury, and premises liability matters. She is fluent in English and Spanish.
Henderson, Franklin, Starnes & Holt, P.A., is pleased to announce that litigation attorney Monica Schmucker has completed arbitrator training and is now a Florida Supreme Court Qualified Arbitrator. She achieved this certification during “Mediation Week” (October 17-23), a week proclaimed by Chief Justice Charles Canady to mark the importance of alternative dispute resolution being an effective substitute to litigation. Schmucker uses her experience to assist clients throughout Southwest Florida in the defense of negligence, personal injury, premises liability, vehicle negligence, and wrongful death claims.
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