Le Charme Magazine "Elevation" Issue

JANUARY FEBRUARY MARCH 2017

the

ELEVATION Issue

DEIIR A SMITH-COLL AR D

Founder/Editor- In - Chief/Creative Director

JOSEPHIN E SLOAN Managing Editor

LuLu Botello

India Henderson

Dalana Bryant

Jennifer Leviston

Social Media Contr ibutor

Beaut y Editor

Copy Editor

Contr ibuting Wr iter

Brandee Nelson

Kim Bob

Contr ibuting Wr iter

Khahelah Thornton Contr ibuting Wr iter

Ja’ Nese Dixon

Contr ibuting Wr iter

Contr ibuting Wr iter

Dana Pittman

Contr ibuting Wr iter

Kree Owens

Contr ibuting Wr iter

DESIGN & PHOTOGR APHY Depictions of Life Photography & Design MAILING ADDRESS EMAIL Le Char me Magazine info@lecharmemagazine.com 3 4 0 N. Sam Houston Pk w y E WEBSITE Ste. A10 0 G

w w w.lechar memagazine.com Houston, Texas 77060

2017

JAN UA RY F E B R UA RY M AR C H

CONTENTS J e ar le an Tay lor

FASHION & STYLE

PHOTOGRAPHY Epic Media Photography

Kree’s Korner

BEAUTY & HAIR dupe that:

Winter Wonderland

The Updo

LOVE & SEX Cuddle Up

HEALTH & FITNESS M ea l R em i x Sat i sfy Your S wee t Tooth

LIFE & LIVING Mirror Reflections Dear Diary Looking Back to move Forward Taking 2017 Hostage

SPIRITUALITY New Life Resolution After The Pain

IN EVERY ISSUE KICKIN’ IT WITH KAY THE VENT REALITY CHECK COUNTING YOUR COINS

FEATURE

MyBeauty

Letter from the Editor

Reflecting on our last year of publication, the year 2016 was a year of growth for Le Charme Magazine. Stepping into 2017 we move forward with the invigorated spirit of inspiration, elevation and sisterhood.

EMAIL

deiira@lecharmemagazine.com FACEBOOK

facebook.com/deiira INSTAGRAM

@deiira

Our vision of motivation and creating an uplifting alliance of women continues on with the new year. I thank all of those who continue to read and support our growing publication.

Through Le Charme many woman are empowered to speak; to tell their stories so that it may impact someone else’s life. Le Charme stands on the foundation of beauty, passion and purpose. Find the beauty, it will lead you to your passion, and ultimately expose your purpose. Thank you again our faithful readers, I wish many blessings and success in 2017, and as always keep reading and we’ll keep writing.

Much Love,

Meet the team

Josie Sloan Managing Editor

Dalana Bryant Copy Editor

Kim Bob Contributor

India Henderson Beauty Editor

Chole Leviston Contributor

Brandee Nelson Contributor

Khahelah Thornton Contributor

LuLu Botello Contributor

STYLE

T he S tatement P ie c e

By: Kree Owens

I

f you have your finger to the pulse of fashion, you are bound to know what looks are hot and what’s not, but what about your accessories?

Statement handbags and killer shoes aren’t the only thing to capture my eyes these days.

Everything from jewelry pieces, belts, scarves gloves and even hosiery Accessories often get lost in the can be used to enhance your look. chaos when they really can be the I’ve had my eye on some Houston star of the show. Choosing the area designers who are right statement piece slaying the fashion can elevate your game with look from boring their one to show of a kind stopping. pieces.

Boujie Couture’s Neck Kandi is not for the shy! These pieces are bold and beautiful. If you like brave bold looks this is the collection for you. Check out more online at www.boujiecoutureboutique.com

images courtesy of boujiecoutureboutique.com

Jcil White’s perfectly Pure collection is perfect. This collection is based on positive energy, peace and love.

Composed of healing stones and raw crystals these beauties are wearable art and energy.

For more Perfectly Pure visit www.iamperfectlypure.com

images courtesy of iamperfectlypure.com

Update Featured in our first issue, The Transformation Issue, Crystal Wall continues to motivate, inspire and support the women she encounters. Crystal Wall Fitness is seeing great growth and she has traveled both the east and west coasts to teach classes. After being Voted one of Houston’s most fascinating people, then being chosen as One of Houston’s top Trainers, Crystal Wall was honored by the City of Houston and Mayor Sylvester Turner, by proclaiming September 28, 2016, Crystal Wall Day! Congratulations Crystal for your continued elevation!

BEAUTY

DUPE Winter Wonderland Edition By: India Henderson

A

Hey, Hey, Hey Beauties!!!

re you ready to start this year off right? What better way to start the year than to have a savings plan in mind….

But you have to actually stick to it. Let me help you on your journey to become the best “Beauty on a Budget!!!”

Right after the holidays everyone is head over hills with sparkle, shimmer, and all that glitters.

I’ve found some affordable alternates to have you living your life like it’s GOLDEN!!!! I will warn you that textures, finishes, or even the wear may be different but the colors are right on!

Pat McGrath Skin Fetish 003 Golden $72

vs Makeup Geek Duochrome eyeshadow – Voltage $6 TIP: Yes, you can use an eyeshadow as a highlighter

Stila All Over Shimmer Liquid Luminizer – Kitten $20

vs City Color Highlighting Wand – Champagne $3

Cover FX Highlighting Powder - $34

vs

J.Cat Golden Soleil Baked Bronzer – Cancun Golden Tan $8

Melanie Mills Hollywood Gleam Radiant Dust – Bronze Gold $59

vs

Ben Nye Shimmer Powder – Bronze $25

Jouer Longwear Lip Crème Filigree $18 vs 5 Colourpop Ultra Metallic Salt $6

Melanie Mills Hollywood Gleam Radiant Dust – Bronze Gold $59

vs

Milani Brilliant Shine Lip gloss – Luminous $6

6

NARS Lip Gloss – Striptease $26

vs

Burt’s Bees Lip Gloss Autumn Haze $9

Kat Von D Metal Crush eyeshadow – Thrasher $21

MAC eyeshadow Amber Lights $16

vs

JD Glow Shimmer Shadow Excalibur $7.50

MAC eyeshadow Goldmine $16

vs vs

Makeup Geek eyeshadow Gold Digger $6

Inglot eyeshadow #606 Pearl $7

You are now ready to shimmer and shine! Your life will truly be golden with these products. Don’t be surprised if you find that the less expensive brand works better than the ones you’ve spent so much money on. Give some of these a try and let us know what you think. Send your review and photos of you wearing our recommended colors to beauty@lecharmemagazine.com.

Come back and check out our next issue for another edition of “Dupe That.”

As Always…..

Stay Pretty!

The Updo

Elevating your natural style By: Josie Sloan

W

earing your hair in its natural form is not expensive as it is time consuming. You can wear it curly, yet it takes forever to dry.

Straighten it out but to get to that point you must shampoo, deep condition, blow dry straight and then flat iron.

Two strand twist or braid out are great heat free styles, but it just seems like a lot of work just to unravel the hair. It comes out gorgeous, but to what extent. All hair styles will look great for about a good three to four days. Then you are left with the dilemma of should I redo or try to hold on for dear life. Do not hold on. If you do not have time to redo the style, just take it up a notch. Instead of reviving your old hairstyle reinvent it with and updo. You can transform all natural styles mention above into a jazzy puff, super cute donut or a classy elegant bun. Sounds like we are about to eat an unhealthy breakfast, but no we are just doing our hair.

Hair

The Puff What You’ll Need

Spray bottle filled with warm water Eco Styler Gel Water based leave in conditioner Hard bristled brush Hair pick Black Clasp Free Elastic Bands

The puff works great on an old wash and go. A Puff is not the same as a ponytail.

It’s a term meaning to gather the hair in a loose ponytail. To begin, spray your hair with water. Not to saturate, but to make sure you are working with very damp hair. Add a quarter size amount of leave in conditioner, concentrating on your ends. Water based leave in conditioner can be any conditioner of your choice. It just needs to read water first in the list of ingredients. Add Eco Styler Gel to the perimeter of your head. Eco Styler Gel is a great brand to use on curly hair styles. I prefer the Argan oil or Olive Oil varieties. The oils aid in conditioning your edges as well as lay them flat. With the bristle brush begin to slick down your edges.

Continue to brush your hair in an upward motion toward the crown of your head.

Wrap the elastic band once around your puff. Apply additional gel as needed. Take your pick and began lifting the hair in the poof to add height.

The Donut What You’ll Need

Edge Control

Donut

Rubber bands

Wide toothed comb

Soft bristle brush

Hair pin Holding spray

The donut works well with an old straighten hair style. The donut itself is a bunch of hairpieces or foam shaped into a donut that you put around your ponytail. I prefer the donut made of hair pieces of than foam. Remember when you mom use to use those form rollers on your hair. When she removed them, you saw your hair wrapped around that roller. Same concept when using a foam donut.

Besides the hair pieces’ donut makes for easier blending. Start by creating a side part bang in the front of your head. Spray it with hold spray and began the create a pin curl, and secure it with your hair pin. Apply edge control to your edges and sleek down with a brush. Edge control works better on dry or straight hair styles than Eco Styler. Remember wet hair, use wet gel.

Dry hair use edge control.

Continue brushing your hair in an upwards motion into a ponytail. Wrap your donut around the hair

The Bun What You’ll Need

Edge control

Elastic hair ties

Hair pins

Wide tooth comb

Brush

The bun has been worn many ways: messy, to the side, uniformed, curled etc. When dealing with an old twist out, we want messy to meet uniformed style. Take the edge control and apply it to your edges all around the perimeter of your head. Take your bristle brush and gently brush the hair up into one pony tail secured with

hair ties. We must brush gently to slick the edges but maintain the curl pattern on the ends. The curl pattern is what make the bun. Take pieces of your hair from the pony tail, and secure it at the base of the pony tail with a hair pin. Continue this in a clockwise motion around your head.

So just a recap, when you are short on time but need to do something with your do. Based on your current style, curly; straight; or twist out. You can create a stylish updo on the go.

Prime time

10 perfect face primers By: India Henderson

for the ideal

CANVAS!

Are you a lover of lingerie? Allow me to introduce to you a product that does for you skin what lingerie does for your body. It smoothes, flatters, conceals, and holds things in place, so that everything you put on top of it immediately looks better. Whether your mission is to minimize the appearance of pores, mattify skin, blur wrinkles, or even out skin tone, primers do this whilst locking in moisture and creating a perfect base for your makeup. Many women skip this step to save time in the morning, but a primer is the difference between your makeup sliding off mid-day and it remaining flawless until the end of the day. Now, wouldn’t you agree that it’s worth that extra minute?

Primers also create a barrier between the face and makeup to prevent irritation, damage, and to ensure a smooth application. Select a primer that is best for your skin type and needs.

Once you have the right product, apply the primer after your moisturizer.

Like with many beauty products, there are so many to choose from when it comes to picking a great primer. From tinted formulas to glow-enhancers and everything in-between, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when presented with your options. Read our editor’s review of 10 of the best primers to try.

I Give Up By: Lulu Botello

M

y diary. One of the places I let out every emotion. The words that express my experiences. The place I go to scream. The book that I close after writing in it and open freely to relive emotions. They say silence speaks a thousand words but it also hides pain. This is where I hid my pain.

I was in an abusive marriage. Physical and mental. I chose my words wisely in front of him as everything I said would be turned into jealousy, manipulation, and hatred. I was surrounded by his family but even in a full room you can feel alienated. I became mute, only spoken when spoken to. Silence hid my pain well. I could not share with anyone because of fear that my then husband would find out and use it against me. Always threatening with telling people I was crazy. My safe spot was my diary. The evidence to how close i was to given up completely.

I came across one of my hidden journals this week and read to my terror how close I was to ending my life because I was afraid to seek help for my situation.

It was a winter holiday. The hardest time of the year for me. I wrote these words.

“ I G I VE UP. I f y ou are reading this I’m so rry. ” I cringe now at the thought of leaving the only people I have lived for all along, my children. I felt hopeless but God must of been guiding my footsteps.

He saved me and showed me that if you gather up the courage to take action you open the door to a safe spot.

Do you ever look at your friends and family members and read behind the “I’m fine” response? Silence is where the pain lurks. Sometimes when you are doing great you don’t see the signs of your loved ones cry for help.

The holiday season can bring out depression, anxiety, as well as severe PTSD symptoms. We need to spread the word that there is always someone ready to help. Someone to hold your hand through the painful times to come. Open up your arms and give true hugs and thoughtful moments to people who cannot handle the holidays and the burden of the expectations of the new year.

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255 Veterans Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255 Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

b o B m i K WITH

You’re not

II

You’re not Entitled to be a Bitch!!!

hope everyone had a blessed 2016, but if you did not, you have 2017 to get it right. I came about my title as I reflected on my 2016. It was a hard year for Kim Bob. I learned some hard lessons and I met and dealt with some ugly people. When I say ugly, I am not speaking of physical features. No, I speak of people who have it together on the outside, yet they are a hot mess on the inside.

me and some of the people I have encountered is I don’t wear my pain like a badge of honor.

Do you?

Everyone has a choice. Although, generation x gave birth to generation entitled, We are not entitled to be rude to people.

We choose how we allow our pain; mistakes, regrets and bad decisions affect us. However, the world should not have to pay for your misery. I decided early in my life not to hold a grudge against the world for how others have mistreated and mishandled me.

I haven’t always had it easy. I have experienced some horrible events in my life. Everyone has. How has your events shaped who you are Pain is not a pass to be a bitch. today? The difference between

Despite everything, I choose to smile; I choose to be a blessing to others. I choose to make others laugh. So on this day and the rest of 2017 and so on, thank God for those unpleasant people whose path you have crossed. They taught you something and gave you a glimpse of who you don’t want to be. Don’t let your pain be a curse to everyone who meets you, because you are unconsciously allowing the person who caused you the pain to continue to cause others pain through you. So that person has the power and wins at that point and no one wants that.

My favorite quote is from Maya Angelou,

“When you know better, you do better” So ladies, lets do better. Do unto others, as you will have them do unto you. Choose to be a blessing throughout the midst of your pain.

Choose to love, including the unlovable. Much peace, love and blessings in 2017.

Independent Woman,

Kim Bob

New

By: Chole Leviston

I

t’s that time of the year when everyone starts to make New Years resolutions and commitments. Most start with weight loss or getting rid of bad relationships and even cleaning out their closest filled with last years mistakes. We tend to renew or revive the physical but forget about the spiritual. This new year can be the beginning of a new life commitment by just adding 4 simple things to your daily routine.

Step 1.

Walk with God daily This means waking up every morning choosing to honor God daily. Honoring God can be done by starting each day with a prayer of thanksgiving or simple praise.

We can also honor God by reading and mediating on his word daily.

A simple way of doing this is by reading scripture a daily. One way of making sure we meditate on his word daily is by downloading the Holy Bible application and turning on your daily notifications. Another way to honor God is by choosing to do the right thing when the wrong things are sat in front of you. This has been proven to be a difficult task but when you love God and have the desire to please him we have to say no to temptations.

Step 2.

Affirm yourself daily Affirmation is described as one of the love languages.

Affirming yourself means to love

yourself. Wake up every morning telling yourself how beautiful you are or how smart you are. Often times we look to others to affirm us or validate us but self love starts with self. Start out by placing sticky notes all over the house with positive affirmations like “I’m blessed and not cursed” “I’m the man or woman of his or her dreams” “I’m better then I was yesterday” Don’t just write or read these things believe them and remember what God has said about you in Psalm 139:14 the we are fearfully and wonderfully made. In the Father’s eyes we are perfect.

Step 3. Get rid of bad habits I’m not talking about smoking or over eating. I’m talking about gossiping, complaining and worrying. These three things can keep you from your best and its so easy to fall back into these habits. We all have that friend that has the tea on everyone.

So when that friend calls or text keep the conversations light and short and DEFLECT. Deflections is the best way to avoid gossip and God can be your best deflector. Instead of engaging in gossip ask that person to lets pray for the person he or she was about to start talking about. Either they will pray or conveniently get another call on the other line.

Complaining is another bad habit that can turn your positive into negatives.

Instead of complaining, be grateful. Be grateful for the little things and express them out loud. “God I’m thankful for this roof over my head” I’m thankful for this job that affords me to pay my bills.

Lastly, worry is pretty much a useless emotions and I say this because it adds zero value to your life. It’s an emotion that only eats up your time, time you will never get back. Worry will never change anything or make things any better. So we have to earn to just trust God and lay all of worries and concerns at his feet and he’ll make them right.

Step 4. Be Passionate In anything you do, do it with passion and love. Passion is having strong feelings or strong beliefs in someone or something. In other words don’t half a** it. Do things to the best of your abilities and you will be rewarded. If you love doing something don’t do it! Find that one thing or one person that sets your soul on fire.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says,” Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new ,“(KJV). Walk into 2017 a new creature.

With Khahelah Thornton

Hello Politicallycorrect, I appreciate your honesty in your email and pointing out that you are “not particularly fond of,” discussing politics in the workplace.

There is a reason why most human resource departments advise against discussing politics in the workplace. Yes, everyone has their own opinion, with that being said, everyone doesn’t share the same opinion and therefore discussions that have nothing to do with work related issues should be avoided.

If the conversation makes you feel uneasy, uncomfortable and effects or could possible effect your job performance, you can’t be the only person feeling this way. If your co-worker was /is as disrespectful as you say she is and if this is a constant situation with her, I would document dates, times and people present for those conversations and schedule a time to meet with your human resource department. Snitch or no snitch everyone deserves to be respected in the workplace and work in a hostile free environment there is only so much any person can take and it’s better to take action now to prevent a rather extreme situation from occurring in the future. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Hello Kaye, I’m hoping you can offer me advice about a work place situation I’ve been struggling with for the last few weeks. I pride myself of not being a snitch and reporting inappropriate workplace behaviors or conversations to human resources, however I have a co-worker that I’m not particularly fond of constantly talking about politics in the workplace. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, however her choice of words and blatant disrespect for others that choose to engage her is shameful.

Please let me know what you would do if you were in my shoes.

Thanks, #Politicallycorrect

Kaye

Questions for Kaye?

Do you have a question for Kaye, let us know info@lecharmemagazine.com

FEATURE

Beauty

My

By: Jearlean Taylor Photographer: Epic Media Photography

FEATURE

I

I am not my bags!

am Jearlean from Baltimore, MD. I grew up in a happy home with both my parents and five other siblings. I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. I love to laugh, joke, and live my life on purpose with a purpose. I am a fashion model, author, writer, modeling instructor, and motivational speaker. I am passionate about being the woman of God that he desires for me to be. My heart’s desire has always been to make a difference in people lives.

My life has proven to be a journey of unexpected challenges. I was diagnosed with a rare form of vaginal cancer (Rhabdomyosarcoma) at 3 years old. Rhabdomyosarcoma or RMS is a childhood cancer that starts in any organ that contains skeletal muscle cells, those most commonly tumors are found in head, neck, bladder, and vagina.

My chemotherapy and radiation treatments began at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan, New York. Because of this rare type of cancer, my childhood included several reconstructive surgeries and lengthy hospital stays, which keep me miles away from home. I was cancer-free a year after my diagnosis, but left with permanent ostomy (colostomy and urostomy), which aids my bladder and bowel functions, which cause me to wear (2) ostomy bags They are located on each side of my stomach, near the navel area.

An ostomy refers to the surgically created opening in the body for the discharge of body wastes. An ostomy

FEATURE bag (pouch) attaches to the abdomen and is fitted over and around the stoma to collect the diverted output, either stool or urine. I spent the duration of my childhood up to 12 years old at MSKCC. After that my follow-visits would be back home in Baltimore.

The disease or treatments were not initially a problem for me however, what came after, my ostomy bags. I did the best I could with my situation, being so young, but it still was not easy, especially when people do not know your situation or medical history.

I remember kids teasing me, “She smells” “I heard she wears a bag”.

During that period in my life, I was especially thankful to my family for their support. My mom always said I was in God hands. Later, I realize it was not anyone’s fault, life happened. In addition, through it all God was right there.

It was not until I was in my late 30’s I took one of my journal books and began to write. I began to write about everything I ever felt about my sickness with cancer and how I really felt about having ostomy bags all my life. That was my breakthrough of accepting me, as I was “bags” and all. That journal would become my internal healing and my first autobiography Pretty Girl Blues.

The message I wanted to convey in my autobiography is that miracles still happen and our circumstances or situations does not have to dictate our future. Through my faith, caring doctors

and nurses, support from family and friends, and belief in God, I discovered who I could be in spite of my medical circumstances. My insecurities did not change overnight, but I learned to be

FEATURE

“OVERCOMER”.

an I am bless to have my desires, passions, and dreams come true. I have been a fashion model for over 17 years, yes with two ostomy bags.

Today I am helping cancer survivors, ostomy patients, aspiring fashion models, and those suffering with low self-esteem. I am NOT my “bags”. To see the outer appearance no one could ever tell I live with these adversities and what I deal with 24 hours/7 days a week. I am beautiful from the inside out. I am changing lives though my story.

“Live your life on purpose with a purpose for a purpose.”

Connect with Jerlean www.prettygirlblues.com Jearlean Taylor

@msjearleantaylor

@jearleanpgb

Love & Sex

By: LuLu Botello

By: Lulu Botello KISS UP and RUB UP and FEEL UP

It’s cold outside and I’m alone in my bed and I’m lonely. The chill on my feet make me want to rub them against someone warm and feel the heat from another body against mine.

I think about the giggles when we get up for a snack and the stolen kisses we could share.

It would be someone to watch good classic movies with, listen to soothing music and experience nice long kisses. Did I mention kissing? I would be wearing sweatpants with sexy lingerie. We would dance slow with the lights set on dim, then stay in bed for long mornings and get our groove on all night long.

Yes, I’m single. Time to search for that somebody I can share cuffing season with. Don’t frown on it. Take advantage of your inner sexy diva.

You work so hard to take care of your summer body, why not go the extra and fill up your winter time with good food, warmth, and a feisty experience (it is a workout too).

Have you started your search? Well, this is Texas our season comes late.

He is out there. That semi perfect man to cuddle up to. One that will satisfy the requirements of this winter session. The man who will cuddle, watch TV, and make a romantic effort. Mr. RIGHT NOW. Winter flings are typically temporary,

so let’s be real and get the best out of it. Put your heart in the right place and think about you girl. Everyone is out there in their perfect relationships and your stalling to get back out there. What are you waiting for? Be alert for the signs. Don’t block with your emotional walls. Get confident and get to it.

Time to search. Not at the club and not the summer buddy. He has probably already found that winter bunny. You want to be in charge don’t you? That can only happen if you do the search and not be searched. Catch my drift. Be the coach. Set the plays. Without guilt.

Without regret. Go to events. There are so many during the holidays like church gatherings, friends of friends, networking, the gym, etc.

YOUR RULES LADIES. TYPE. Scratch the X boyfriends off the list NOW. We are not that desperate.

They will just lead to expectations

that cannot be delivered. They didn’t before, they won’t be now.

(Very few exceptions of course).

What type of person do you want?

A booty call won’t stay long and won’t come when you want. Only when they want. As for me, I want a hungry man. One that likes to work out but likes to eat and enjoy comfort meals as part of the plan.

Hungry for body heat too. I’m ready for my mini hibernation.

SCHEDULE. There must be a schedule. Make it a routine visit like a date. No ties.

Just human heat. Sounds like just sex,but make it about body heat.

Demand foreplay and fun because you want the night to last. You want

it regular. That Thursday night thing. Keep it to yourself, don’t tell anybody. No Judgment is key! Don’t ask questions. Keep conversations interesting. Sexting is fun but don’t over do it. Sneak peeks better. Just like cake, you want them to come back for more.

INVEST. Invest in Netflix, Amazon, or cable. It will make planning movie, food, cuddle, and desire easy. Buy some fun lounge wear, like sexy sweat outfits with matching sexy lingerie. Experiment with a new look. Reinvent yourself. If the old you didn’t work, now it’s a great time to explore alternative styles.. Be proud of the bold new you!

PROTECTION. Be ready. Ladies provide the condoms, lubrication, and toys. Why not? Sometimes we just have to be the responsible ones, especially if it looks to be temporary only. If you want the cuddle to feel complete you have to run the fun. Don’t get hurt taking it to a level you don’t want either. You must set the boundaries. You are in charge.

NO EXPECTATIONS. Do not expect them on holidays. No introductions to family. Set the tone. Make them feel comfortable not trapped. If it is not working for you, ABORT NOW. Don’t spend your precious time. Be clear with your intentions. Remember don’t throw your heart into it. Your goal is to make it fun, memorable, exciting like a staycation. Make it an “Affair to remember”.

To the broken hearted.

Very important. If you are coming off a difficult relationship or loss and having a hard time this season DON’T DO IT. Don’t set yourself up for rejection.

Make this season about you. Buy that expensive body pillow that does the same thing and doesn’t talk back (lol). Buy the sexy lingerie and lazy cozy clothes. Make sure you go through your motions and take time to laugh again and turn up the self love emotions. Love starts with self. Look for guidance through literature, blogs, movies, and support groups. Get ready for next season because you are so worth it.

In my Beyonce voice “ kiss up and run up and feel up...kiss up and rub up and feel up…..all night long. Ready set Go!

Counting Your Coins Establishing & Increasing Your Net Worth By: Josie Sloan

Your Net worth more than just having a checking and saving account; it’s your houses, cars, boats, CDs, and investments added together that establishing your financial success. Based on your purchase history, you may come to realize that you need a lot of work on your net worth.

It’s not rocket science to establish a net worth or increase. Just follow the steps below.

Pay Off Your Debt Money owed could just as well go toward increasing your net worth.

Remember a purchase can be an asset but, it is also a liability that accrues interest as well. Make sure you devise a strategy to pay down your debt as soon as possible. A quick tip would be to make extra payments to reduce the interest.

Utilize Your Retirement Contributions Take advantage of government and private employer retirement plans. Not all employers are gracious enough to establish a benefit package to include profit sharing or retirement plans.

Some can’t even give you any benefits at all but, employers who do know that they can benefit from this as well. Employers establish benefit contributions where they match what you put in. The result is you grow your net worth faster and the employer can receive multiple tax breaks.

To not take advantage of these program is just

throwing money away.

Establish A Budget for Expenses I don’t want anyone to tell me how to spend my money, so I’m sure the same goes for you. Here comes the B word. Yup, budget. A budget will help with reducing expenses. It’s one thing to make purchases that will become an asset. It’s another thing to spend money frivolous. For example, you can go out and purchase a new car. Awesome choice, you have increased your asset.

Then you go buy rims. You just messed up because you created an expense that you will be paying on and have not added any value to your net worth. Also, be mindful of your credit cards. You may think you’re doing something smart because you are using your credit cards instead of cash but, you must pay that credit card back.

Interest Bearing Savings Accounts Are you utilizing your saving account, or should I asked do you have one? Seriously, by now everyone should have a checking and a savings account. The checking account should hold enough to cover your bills and expenses. The remainder should be moved to an interest-bearing savings account. This way your savings will grow as you make deposits. If not a savings account maybe, a CD would be better.

That way you won’t be able to touch the money until after a specified time.

Buy “The” Car This isn’t MTV Cribs, this is real life. If you can’t

afford it, you should not have a fleet of vehicles.

The minute you drive a new car off the lot, it begins to depreciate immediately. Along with depreciation, vehicle maintenance, and insurance cost, you have wreck your net worth.

To balance the effect of a car purchase, you should choose a car that you will drive until you need to replace it.

Seek Professional Help If you are too stubborn to take my advice, then ask a professional. Accountants and Financial Planners are trained to deal with broke people all the time so, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Sure, it may cost you a little, but having your finances reviewed by a professional is worth it. They can assist you with tax breaks, budgeting, and other financial matters.

By Brandee Nelson

W

hen was the last time you looked in the mirror?

No, no, no, I mean really looked in the mirror and studied the reflection you saw looking back at you!!!

Mirrors have been around for 1000’s of years, but they have not always been as clear as we see them now.

Mirrors were made by copper, bronze, silver and gold. Those are materials that mirrors were made out of, but what about our mirrors that can’t be seen? HA!!! I know someone may be saying “Bea has lost it completely”!!!!!

Believe me I have not lost it, actually I found it along the way. There is one mirror that we totally forget about and the one mirror that can lie to us.

That’s the mirror of our thoughts, the reflections of what we think about ourselves. Did you know that the way we think about ourselves can drive into a repetitive cycle in our lives? Yes, it can! I have had those so many times in my life and I want to share another exert of my book The Making Of This Woman. Most of all the reflections of yourself in your mind will make you take some paths that will give you the deepest hurt yet the greatest lessons. Take a read……

“The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place.”

Barbara DeAngelis

Yes, you guessed it I got married anyway. I know you didn’t think that I was going to go with the grain. I was still rebellious in my adulthood.

I had good intentions, I wanted to be married so my kids can have a family just like I did, and their father to have a family that he never had.

Just what the Lord showed me in the vision happened. I knew when I was walking down the aisle that it wouldn’t last. I was not nervous about the wedding, and I didn’t have the wedding day jitters as others have had. I thought to myself I needed to do this for them. There wasn’t a selfish act at all, I loved them and wanted them to have the best.

During our 2nd year of marriage Aaron took sick unexpectedly and passed away. I was angry with God that he took my baby away. I

pleaded with God that he was just seven years old. He wasn’t ready, my family wasn’t ready, and I wasn’t ready. I dropped back into depression. My husband at the time lost the last ounce of belief he had.

He couldn’t figure out why God would do that to him. He was just over it all. We were taught to give people false hope when they come to God. That when they come to God all the bad things will end and will never have to face another bad day in their lives. I knew my husband was cheating and I didn’t want to leave based on me disappointing my kids, my parents, and God. I vowed that I will never bring them shame ever again. If I wanted to leave, I couldn’t because there was a lesson to be learned in this marriage. Every time something transpired in our marriage, God

told me to forgive him and let him back in. I couldn’t understand why God would torture me like this, but he was teaching me ministry.

I didn’t know that at the time, but I felt like Hosea. Ok he wasn’t a prostitute, but drugs and the streets were his vices. He was not trying to hurt me on purpose, he was hurting and broken. Hurt people, hurt people. While being in this, none of this made no sense. During these years I was singing and traveling giving God’s word through music.

I just knew I had a gift and heard from God while singing but I wasn’t embracing who I was. I heard God calling me but I was willing to give him a little of me and not all of me. I soon landed a production contract to record my first album. I was so excited but my husband wasn’t because he felt that I would leave

him behind. Our relationship became worse, he sought connection outside of our marriage and so did I. I wanted him to leave but we were both determined to make the other miserable. We were two hurt, broken individuals that were too stubborn to do the right thing. I finally felt at peace about ending our marriage. I didn’t care anymore of disappointing anyone, I was overweight and sick. I filled for divorce in 2006 and was granted my divorce before the year was up. During this process I moved back to Houston, to really have a fresh start and to accomplish my dreams.

The gospel industry is a very tricky industry, and I learned a lot from being in it this long.

I was able to become a partner with my father, in taking over my grandfather’s record label. That we currently own today, Judnell Records, LLC. I sat in the living room of my apartment with my kids and cried out to God its do or die from here. I had many stories from 2006 to 2011, but 2011 was a complete mess for me. December 2010 my dad’s best friend passed away from cancer, February 2011 my sister passed from her battle of cancer, my grandmother succumbed to cancer April 2011, my dad was in the hospital for 3 days for his heart, my cousin flatlined 3 times that June, and I had my own scare of cancer in November 2011. I had never been in the position to trust God as much I did that year. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. The next year I went through some heartbreaks that I thought would leave me for dead.

The summer 2012 I was done with church, I was done with leading praise and worship.

I was tired, I had enough so I quit.

It was a day that I was in my living room again talking to God. It was an intense dialog, because I told Him he hated me! I knew He hated me because of all I was dealing with in my life. No one could tell me that He loved me, because my life was in shambles. There was a song I started reciting that I had never heard before, and the song came on my Pandora station, and I heard the clear voice of God that day.

I heard Him tell me that He loved me and it was time to change. That day I knew I couldn’t be the same, the space I was in transformed into an oasis of God’s presence. I can’t explain this day into words only tears. I remember meeting a couple through my father at his vision Sunday, December 2011. I connected with the first lady on Facebook. I messaged her through inbox and said “If ya’ll need a praise and worship leader, holla at me!

LOL!!!!!”. So I just want to ask you all a question, do you all see the LOL in all caps? That means laugh out loud! Oh this woman took me serious and said that she was tempted to wake up the pastor and tell him.

I was like I’m just playing! By this time I was singing with a jazz band and having fun. She messaged me the next day and said he wanted to meet with me the following the next Tuesday. I had a trip planned with the band the next week.

Guess what happened? Yes, the

trip was canceled. Haaaa! I found myself sitting at a conference table with this pastor and his wife. This particular day changed the course of my life forever. Today Pastor Jamail and Lady Natasha Johnson are my leaders and I am so grateful to them. As a pastor he made a promise to me that still have vitality today. I have been through so many things in the years of being the Creative Director of Worship Arts at The Word Church-Humble.

These years of transition in my life was to prepare me for this stage in ministry. I couldn’t take the same Brandee on this stage that I stand on weekly. Even in the heartaches, let downs, disappointments, missing the mark, doors have opened for me. I have grown into a beautiful woman. I recently had to release that little girl out of that closet, but at 33 she still thought no one heard her, and that she was not wanted.

God moved me to a place of transformation and when I made the decision to be who God has called me to be that’s when I saw the real me. I love her! God today place a spiritual mirror in front of us so that the reflection will show us what’s on the inside of us not just what is seen by the physical eye.

Amen

Much Love and Many Blessings, Brandee Nelson

THE

Do you have something you want to sound off about. email us at: khahelah@lecharmemagazine.com

WITH Khahelah Thornton

ATM No More

Post The Truth

I have a friend that I allowed to borrow $500. Not that I’m rich or anything but when I loaned this friend the money, in my mind I set the expectation that I would not get it back (this is something I learned from over the years). Fast forward to 1 year and 3 months after the initial loan, not only has he not mentioned anything about the loan or made any payments but he had the audacity to ask me to borrow $100 to prevent his car from being repossessed. WTF? #ATM#nomo

I have a friend that I allowed to borrow A highly opinionated family member of mine is VERY active on social media.

She’s in her 50’s but her social media age is 20ish, her life is a lie and she lives for DRAMA. The way she posts on social media you’d think she didn’t have children or a job. I have a few 20 something year old male friends that have expressed interest in her more or less commenting on her looks. The problem is she’s posting pictures from 10 plus years ago and looks every bit of her current age. How do I tell these male friends that what they see and read will not be what they get, without seeming like a hater? #postdatruth

Newbie

How do I ask for a chance? I recently started a new job. I love the opportunity I was given and I really think that once I get the day to day routine down I will come to realize that this is my passion and purpose in life. The people I work with though friendly, anyone can see that they are already a closely knit family. My priority is to learn my job, prove I’m capable of doing the job and if I have to fit in and get to know my coworkers. Day by day it’s getting more and more difficult to ignore some of their catty comments about me and some of the other new hires. How do I address this situation? #newbie

Health & Fitness

Healthy Meal Remix By: Josie Sloan

Cauliflower Done 3 Ways

Entering

2017, we are all trying to get our New Year’s Resolutions in order. The all-time favorite is to lose weight. Losing weight is important, but being healthy is more important. We get so caught up with the idea of losing weight, that we fail to realize that the healthier the lifestyle we live, the more pounds tend to fall off. It’s hard trying to give up our best friend, you know, first name Carb, last name Ohydrate. Who wants to give up buttered rice with gravy, creamy herbed mashed potatoes or loaded baked potatoes? Brown rice and sweet potatoes are a better alternative than the white rice and potatoes but you can take your alternative to the next level with cauliflower. Cauliflower has many health benefits, but you don’t care about those. You want to know how you can make cauliflower taste like rice and potatoes right?

Well sit back, take notes, and get ready to watch the weight just drop.

Cauliflower Fried Rice

You Will Need Green Giant Frozen Cauliflower Rice or One head of Cauliflower chopped up rice like in a food processor.

2 tablespoons of I can’t believe it’s not butter and cooking spray

2 Large Eggs 3 Green Onions (chopped) 2 Garlic Cloves minced Soy Sauce (For color and taste)

Let’s Get Started Heat skillet on medium to high. Spray skillet with cooking spray and add butter. Add green onions and garlic to the skillet and Sauté for about 30 seconds. Add the scrambled eggs.

Cook eggs until completely scramble and add the cauliflower. Sauté the cauliflower for 5 minutes. Stir continuously. Add the soy sauce for color and taste. Serve immediately

Creamy Garlic and Herb Mashed Cauliflower

You Will Need 1 medium head of cauliflower, cut into florets or frozen bag of cauliflower florets 2 tbsp. butter (I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter) 2 cloves garlic, (roasted in foil with olive oil) 3 tbsp. milk (unsweetened Almond Milk) ¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese ¼ tsp. salt ⅛ tsp. ground black pepper Green onions and parsley

Let’s Get Started Bring a pot of salted water to boil. Add the cauliflower florets and turn the heat down to medium. Cook covered for 15 minutes until cauliflower is soft and tender. Melt butter in microwave on 20 seconds. Set aside. When the cauliflower is cooked, remove from heat and drain. In a food processor, add the cooked cauliflower, roasted garlic, butter, milk, Parmesan cheese, parsley, salt and pepper. Puree until smooth. Serve hot and sprinkle some green onions on top.

Loaded Cauliflower Bake

You Will Need

1 medium head of cauliflower, cut into florets or frozen bag of cauliflower florets 2 tbsp. butter (I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter) 2 cloves garlic, (roasted in foil with olive oil)

3 tbsp. milk (unsweetened Almond Milk) ¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese ¼ tsp. salt ⅛ tsp. ground black pepper Green onions and parsley

Let’s Get Started

Cook the bacon in a skillet until crisp; set aside on a paper towel then crumble. Fill a large pot with water, bring to a boil and add cauliflower and garlic. Boil until the cauliflower is soft.

Drain, and return to the pot. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Add the sour cream, butter, salt and pepper to the cauliflower and purée with a hand blender. If you don’t own a hand blender, a regular blender would work fine as well. Mix in 1 half of the green onions and transfer to 8 x 8 casserole dish and top with cheddar and crumbled bacon. Bake in the oven until the cheese melts, about 5 minutes then top with remaining green onions.

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It’s time to create maximum results.

Here’s to your best year yet.

Health & Fitness

Satisfy YOUR

recipe courtesy www.ohsweetbasil.com

Sweet Tooth

brown sugar grilled pineapple A healthy spin to satisfy your sweet tooth

Ingredients 1 pineapple, peeled and sliced 3/4 stick of unsalted butter1 3/4 cup brown sugar

Directions 1.In a bowl, melt the butter at 20 second increments in the microwave. remove from the microwave and add the brown sugar, stirring quickly to evenly combine, this will take a minute to absorb the sugar.*Amounts can be altered according to taste!

2.Heat a grill to medium high heat

and add the pineapple, cooking for a few minutes or until grill marks begin to

appear. flip and cook again on the other side. remove from the grill and quickly brush the butter brown sugar mixture over each side. serve immediately.

After the By: Dalana Bryant

R

emember that overwhelming feeling of joy you had when you first fell in love with your church? Remember when you would prepare the Saturday before so when you woke up on Sunday, all you had to do was get up and go?

Remember when you wanted to give so bad that you thought about overdrawing your account? Remember how you said that you would never grow tired in serving the Lord? Well days, months, years go by and you find that there is little joy left inside of you. Preparation is a thing of the past and getting up on Sunday morning seems more like a Monday morning. You go from, “how much does the church need?” to “why do they keep asking for money?” You now wear the face of a lover scorned, with your lips poked out and your nose turned up.

You know that look, the “don’t ask me to do nothing” look. For whatever reason, you are unhappy with your church and you have lost your passion for serving God. So one day, your church announces that they are

closing for good. Relieved right? Wrong!

There were so many emotions that I felt with the dissolution of my church 3 months ago.

Surprisingly, none of them were feelings of happiness. I was resentful, disappointed and lost. I was left with many questions. Why did my church have to close? What could we have done differently? Where do I go now? Do I still want to serve? Do I even want to join another church? Even with experiencing church burn out, I still realized that I would need God more than ever before and I had to trust Him and not lean to my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). I thought that I was going to sit and not do anything for a while, but God had different plans for me. God called me to serve 8 years ago and He was not about to allow me to stop. God would not allow me to rest until I fulfilled His will to serve. My church had birth many leaders and associate pastors who have gone on to start their own ministries, so God made it possible for me to serve in the ministry of one of those pastors, in which I still serve today.

Now finding a church home had not been that easy. My family and I tried several different churches in the weeks after my church closed, but unfortunately they all left much to be desired. Then attending Sunday and mid-week services became a challenge because no one was there to say, “Hey, we missed you today.” I started to become complacent and soon stopped going all together. The habit of going to church took time to form and I broke it quicker than a glass plate on a tile floor. It’s difficult to justify not going to church. It’s not like you can say, “Oh, I just need a break.” God doesn’t take a break on us, so how is this fair? I even tried to rationalize my not going by saying, “church is everywhere and anywhere.”

But scripture says we should not give up meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another even more so as you see the day approaching (Hebrews 10:25). So, I pulled myself together, let go of the pity party, stopped looking for someone to blame and started looking for a church home. With prayer, guidance and a list of what I was looking for in my new church, I set out to find a place to worship that would meet the needs of my entire family.

Sound doctrine. Check.

Children’s ministry. Check.

Adult ministries to help me continue to grow spiritually. Check.

Strong Leadership. Check. I am still seeking God’s help because even though I have found a church with everything I was

looking for, I still do not have a desire to join this church or any other church.

Unfortunately, this is an area in my life that still has me bound. The pain is real and only God can heal that hurt. Lyrics from the song, “After the Pain” by Betty Wright plays in my mind…

I know that you know it’s true After all I’ve been through I should be through with love But there’s a God up above That keeps sayin’, ‘Lani try Don’t give up, you know why The sun is gonna shine ‘Cause you are mine, all mine’ You just keep doin’ your best And I will do the rest ‘Cause I love you, love you, Lani, like I do That’s why I still love Him like I do After the pain, the pain…

Through it all, God is still good! He knows the plans He has for me and my life (Jeremiah 29:11-13). I will never know why my church closed and I refuse to spend another moment of my energy trying to figure it out. There’s another level in ministry that I have not reached and there’s something inside of me that God wants to bring out.

We all should strive to go to that next level. You don’t have to wait until you’re

burnt out or your church closes. A pastor once told me that when you start feeling like you don’t want to serve God, just think about everything He has done for you and that will be enough to change your heart and mind. God created us to serve and there is something for each and every one of us to do in His kingdom. Our talents are not just for the secular world, they are to edify the Kingdom of God. So after the pain, dust yourself off, hold your head high and know that you are a child of the highest God and He always has your best interest at heart even when you don’t understand.

T aking

By: Kim Bob

As

2016 comes to a close, I introspectively look back at the last year of my life, I have more to say and more to impart. I have more of myself to give. 2016 was a dark year for me and I am ready for it to end. Yet, 2016 has been a year of soul searching.

I do not know what your belief system is.

Do you believe in God? Do you believe there is a heaven or a hell? Do you believe the devil exists? I believe it all. The bible says in 1st Peter 5:8: “be alert and sober of mind, your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” The attack is not always obvious; it is subtle as well. However, it is all designed to distract you, take you off course, and designed to kill both your dreams and purpose. The seeds are planted during childhood and we usually bring our childhood insecurities into our adulthood.

Let me just preface this next paragraph by saying: no matter how hard you work, how friendly, outgoing, and positive you are, there will always be someone who just does not like you. So, as I found yet again being disappointed by people’s inability to see my worth, I realized today, on 1229-16, at the age of forty-three years old, that I have wasted many years trying in vain to get blind people to see my worth; a tactic the enemy has successfully used to keep me distracted with unimportant

things. I have been praying for years for the Lord to send me people who will help me reach my goals and harness my full potential. As the enemy attempted to keep my attention on the two people who did not like me, God opened my eyes to see that he has surrounded me with such smart, knowledgeable, wise, and beautiful minds; I almost missed that.

My steps are divinely ordered to bring me to the people who have played an integral part in my growth and have inspired, encouraged, and provoked me, which is something that I will always be grateful for.

I am excited about 2017, so much so that I am taking 2017 hostage. When you hold something hostage, you take it by force until your demands are met. How have you allowed the enemy to distract you? In 2017, make some demands of your own. Do not allow the fear of failure to stop you. Refuse to continue to allow insignificant, inconsequential people, who cannot see your value, to stifle you.

In 2016, I wrote about becoming “HER;” it is on in 2017, I WILL BE HER! So, come on ladies, let us decree and declare that 2017 will be our coming out party and we will no longer be held back. It is our year, so let’s get it!

Independent Woman- Kim Bob

I

By: Dana Pittman

stared at the scribblings in my journal and a shutter moved down my spine. The words before me were the most ambitious goals I’d dared to write…and believe.

January 1st signals a new calendar year and for many we take it as a clean slate.

A day to step away from what was and embrace what will be. Some declare it with New Year resolutions, while for others it is engrained in intricate strategic plans.

All point toward the same destination, elevation.

Elevation is defined as “the height to which something is elevated above a point of reference”. And what I find intriguing about this definition is the wording point of reference.

It is loaded. Because to establish a point of reference in our lives, I propose, we have to evaluate our past. We have to look back.

Evaluate Your Past

Looking back over 2016 before your sprint into 2017 is important. We as people are creatures of habit. We like what we like. We do what we’ve always done. I believe its because our consistency breeds like or similar results.

It is predictable. But what if you want something new, something bold, something daring?

You would be insane to continue in your same patterns seeking different results.

Right?

Albert Einstein was said to have defined insanity as “doing something over and over again and expecting the same result.”

In looking back consider,

W hat

am

I

do ing ove r and ove r ?

W hat

re s u lt s am

I

I hab i t ?

re ce i vi ng wh e n

e ngag e in t hi s pat t e rn , t his

But know this, when asking these questions you are inviting every fearful thought lingering in your being to the table. I believe we seek this consistency as a means of decreasing our level of risk and/or exposure. And this is putting it lightly. Because increased risk and increased exposure means we start lurking in the presence of increase potential for failure but also our greatest greatness.

We no longer have the security of our old habits. We no longer have the security of our old expectations. We are then left somewhat exposed.

We began to realized, W hat W hat W hat

w e do n ’ t know ?

re s o u rce s we lack ? m in ds e t s we hold on to t hat

no lon g e r s e rve us ?

This last one is major!

Serve Your Future

Looking back in a way that serves our future requires us to identify anything that does not serve our future. Anything that will not nurture our future. And to be honest, we have to identify anything that has the potential to rob us of what we desire most.

You have to know looking back is not

easy but it is necessary.

To do this there are a million ways to examine your past. Do what serves you.

But I recommend whatever method or technique used should include journaling.

Your ability to write out your thoughts will give you a basis for evaluating it now and later.

Journaling does not require a new notebook, fancy pens or even paper.

You can sit at a computer and type it.

You can sit on your couch and write it.

Either way, do it!

Ask yourself, the questions above and add: W h at do yo u w an t f ro m t h e n e xt ye ar ?

W h at n ew h ab i t s o r t ho u g ht s wo u l d yo u li k e to e mbrace ?

H ow do yo u p lan to mak e t he ch ang e ?

W h y is it imp o rtant ?

W h y is it imp o rtant to mak e t he ch ang e n ow ?

Move Forward

As you close your journaling or musing about the past you have created a point of reference for your future. You have created a basis to seek elevation in that area of your life. And you are doing it from a place of awareness of how you operate and how you should change to reap the results you desire.

I caution you, this is the tough work required to see change. As I wrote my 2017 goals it made me nervous

because I have a tough road ahead.

But I am equally excited because I know success will meet me where commitment, hard work and good ole fashion elbow grease dwell. It is only a matter of time.

Additionally you will discover areas where you lack understanding or knowledge of what to do next. Here is where you need to creative in seeking the necessary skills, support and/or training to fill that void. But still this is doable.

Take 2017 by storm. Make it all that you desire. And next year we’ll meet again same time, same place ready to do it again.

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