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HEALTH

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Assume the position

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You can’t measure the importance of teaching them to cook.

FOOD FIGHTERS

The truth aboutyour kid’s picky eating—and how to make peace at the table once and for all.

Written by Jennifer King Lindley Photographs by Christopher Testani

family UP TO22PERCENT ofkids are described at somepoint by their parentsaspickyeaters,according totheNationalInstitutesofHealth. Itmaybeworsewithtoddlers; a studypublishedin Journalofthe AmericanDietetic Association found thatupto50percentof19to24-month-olds are picky.That’s a lotofyououttherenegotiating three (OK,fine,two) bitesofbroccoliorunbreadedchickenand contemplatinghidingspinachinthe brownies. “Too oftendinnertimeis a battleground,”says Sharon Donovan, Ph.D., aprofessorofnutrition attheUniversityofIllinois at Urbana-Champaign,whohasstudiedpicky eatingextensively.The persnickety stagepeaks from age twothrough six. (Bythen, peer pressure at the sleepover supper oftenkicksinandpickinesswanes.) Butsome pickyeatersneveroutgrowit. “Iknow of agroomwho servedpizzaathisweddingreception because itwas oneofthe few foodshe liked,” says Donovan. Wanttoavoid raising PizzaGroom? Here’ssomehealthy advice.

Some of it is genetic

Findingtheroot causeofpickiness istricky,andwhilemuchofithas todowithlife experience,it’s also partlygeneticand partofa kid’s development. Forexample,babies areopen-mindedeaters,willing togivemostfoods awhirl,says NatalieMuth,M.D.,apediatrician, a registered dietitian, andacoauthoroftheforthcoming book The Picky EaterProject. Butaround agetwo comeswhatDonovancalls “theperfect storm.”Toddlerstypicallydevelopneophobia—awarinessofanythingnew,including newfoods—and, tomakematters worse,becomeparticularlyleeryof bitterthings,likegreenvegetables. Atthe same time, thetoddlers’growth rateis slowing,so they have smaller appetites.“Some two-year-olds mayeatonlyafew bitesata givenmeal,”saysDonovan.

Intermsof genetics,onestudyoftwinspublished in the journal Obesity foundthat genes explained72 percentofthevariationin kids’ willingnesstoacceptnew foods. “Youmighthave a foodadventurersitting at the sametable as a siblingwhowill onlyeat10things,”saysNancy Zucker,Ph.D., the directoroftheDuke Center for EatingDisorders,in Durham,NorthCarolina. Some kidsarebornsupertasters.They havemany moretastebuds, so theyexperienceflavorsmore intensely.Ifaparentdoesn’texperiencefood the sameway,itcanbehardtoempathizewith a child’sdramaticrejections.“You knowthescene in the IndianaJones moviewhenaplateofbugs isserved?That’swhat having to eatsquashfelt liketome,”saysStephanieLucianovic, the author of Suffering Succotash:A PickyEater’sQuest toUnderstandWhyWeHatetheFoodsWe Hate. Lucianovic recallsgaggingoverthetextureof thedish. Knowingthatsome studies showthat thereis a geneticcomponent topickinessshould relieveyou of guiltifyour friend’s five-year-oldis asushiconnoisseur whileyourswilleatonly certain shapesofpasta.

Also noteworthy:Pickyeating cantakemanydifferentforms. In a studypublishedin Journal of Food Science, Donovanand hercolleagues catalogedawide rangeof persnicketybehaviorsas recorded byparents.Theseincludedrefusing tocome tothetableatall;visibly cringingatthesightofanewfood; demandingthatfood beprepared toexactspecifications(no crusts!); andprotestingfoodsbecausethey were touching eachotheron the plate. (How dare they?) Usually kids have a mixofissues.Theymight hatecertain textures and wantto getarise outofyou.Inone of her studies,Zuckerfound thatthe pickiestchildrenwere morelikely tobe diagnosedwithanxietyand depression.(Seesidebar,Whento

family Worry,right.) “Thesearevery sensitivekids.Theyhavestronger emotionsandstronger sensory experiences.Having to eat a tomato canseem likelickinga spiderto them,” says Zucker.

It might also be (a little bit) yourfault

Freakedout that theirtoddler’s appetite hasdisappeared (remember: normal)orterrified that theirchild won’t survive until breakfastwithout protein, parents starttocaterwith lesshealthyfoods.“Picky eating isapredictable consequenceof our junk-foodenvironment that interfereswiththe normalmaturation ofthe palate,” says DavidLudwig, Ph.D., M.D.,the directoroftheNew BalanceFoundation Obesity Prevention Center atBoston Children’s Hospitalandthe author of Ending theFoodFight. Babies arebornwith a preferenceforsweet, fat,and salt— theprimarynotesinbreast milk. Foodmarketed to kids is chock-full ofthesetempting elements, andthis

Whentoworry

Most picky eating is normal and—though frustrating— temporary. But in some cases it may signal a more serious underlying issue.

•IFSHE’S UNDERWEIGHT. Your pediatrician will monitor this, but if your child’s growth curve is off, she may not be getting adequate nutrition.

“A picky child can also be overweight if all she eats is pizza and hot dogs,” says pediatrician Natalie Muth.

•IFSHEREJECTS ENTIREFOOD

GROUPS. Like all fruits and vegetables. Eating a very small number of foods that always need to be prepared the exact same way may signal a sensory issue.

•IFSHE’S FEARFUL. “Your child may have had a mild allergic reaction to a food and felt sick, prompting her to scream, ‘I don’t like that!’ the next time it’s served,” says pediatric dietitian Kristi King.

•IF IT’S CAUSINGSOCIAL

DISTRESS. If she’s avoiding birthday parties or summer camp because of the menu, get help from your pediatrician. The same holds if the distress is between parent and child. If eating is destroying your relationship, get help, says Muth.

leaves tastebudsinastate of arresteddevelopment.Spinach can’tcompetewithFrench fries, sokidsaren’t motivated tomoveonto more sophisticated flavors.Whenwell-meaningparents offerupnuggets,itmakesmattersworse.In another of Donovan’s currentstudies,sheand her fellow researchersvideotapedthesame children eatingmeals atvariousday-care centersandat home.Theyfoundthat kids displayed fourtimes asmanyacts of pickinessathome comparedwith atdaycare.Donovan’stheory:Kids knowthat thereisn’tawide-open pantryfullofsnacksand thatcaregivers arelessapttocave.

Strategies for every family

Althoughthe reasons forit maybecomplex,most run-of-the-mill pickyeating can be addressedwith some commonrules,say experts.

PREVENT GRAZING. Nomore endless snacking or permanently-inhandjuicecup.“Whenyouare hungry,thevalueoffood increases, anditmakes foodmore palatable,” says Ludwig.Offer mealsorsnacks everythreetofivehours, depending ontheage,andbeconfident thatyour childwillsurviveuntil the nextone.

SHARE RESPONSIBILITIES. “Theparents’ job is to decidewhatwillbe servedandofferhealthyoptions. Thechild’s jobistodecidewhatand how muchofwhatyou serve toeat,” saysKatjaRowell,M.D., a childhoodfeedingspecialistand theauthor of HelpingYourChildWithExtreme PickyEating. Don’tcater,plead, orbargain. Ifyour childdoesn’teat, fine.(Some experts recommendletting kids have abowlofyogurtor cereal asanoption later—but not a full backup mealprepared byyou.) EASE IN. Include somethingyou knowyourchildwilleatatevery meal, evenifit’s justriceorbread. Andwhen addinginanewfood, make it onethat therest of the familylikes, soyouare notwasting vats ofuntouchedchard.

GO FOR EXPOSURE. To encourage familiarity,let littleonesplaywith theirfood.Touchingor licking the suspiciouskiwihelpskidsovercome wariness. Itcan take manytries before a childlearns tolike something.Don’tdeclare, “Susiehates tuna!” afterthe first thumbs-down. Ifyou’veheard thesoul-crushing rulethat ittakes30tries foraperson to learn to like something new, know this:Expertssay thatthenumber iscloser to10. Butmostagree that parentsgiveupwaytoosoon. DON’T PUSH. “Howwouldyou likeit ifthewaitersaid, ‘Didyouhavethree bites ofyoursteakyet?The risotto isnottoosalty!You should loveit,’” says Rowell.Pressurecan killan appetite.Try a single, casual encouragement, if anything.Also:“Youare

family not leaving untilyoufinishthose lima beans!”will backfire.“When kids areforcedtoeatsomething that theydon’twantto,the primitive brainperceivesthatfoodasathreat,” saysLudwig.Nexttime,thevery sightofit maycause anxiety.

Tips for handling common standoffs

VEGETABLE HATRED. Stopbargainingoverhow manybitesofasparagusmustbeeatenbefore dessert. Thisonlyteacheskids toviewthe vegetableas an obstacle thatmust beovercome.Instead,try toboost appeal. “Kids may eatsliced peppers ifyoupresentthem in abag covered instickers,” says Muth. Offer dips ortoppings(sesame seeds,wonton noodles).Presentthesamevegetable indifferentwaystosee ifyoucan get traction: rawcarrot sticks,shreddedcarrots,roastedcarrotcoins. Ifyourchild likes breadedchicken, make thesmallleap to breaded zucchinirounds. Andtake advantage ofhungerbyservingvegetablesfirst, suggestsKarenLe Billon,the author of FrenchKidsEatEverything. What abouthidingpureedvegetables inspaghettisauceorbrowniebatter? “First,somekidswillbeableto detectevenatiny amountandreject it.Moreimportant, though,they’ll lose trust inwhatyou’reserving them,”saysKristiKing,a pediatric dietitianatTexas Children’sHospital,inHouston. ThisTrojan-horse methodalsodoesn’t addressthebig goal—gettingyourchildfamiliarwith thetasteof spinachsohecan grow toenjoyitwillingly.Take heart: “Fruit hasmanyofthe same nutrients asvegetables,”saysMaryann Jacobsen,aregistered dietitian and theauthor of From Picky to Powerful, sodon’tpanic ifyourchild isrebellingagainst anything green.

OFF-THE-MENU ORDERING. Some childrenget into the habitofexpectingevery dinner to have a kids’-mealoption.Asa result,youaremaking severaldinners.Commit to making one.“Things maygetworsefor afew days,” saysLudwig. “Inmany cases,thechildhas beenrunningthe showand isnow thinking, Wait! Ihaditgood!” Bepatientbut firm. Ifshe rejectsyour meatballs, noworries.Shewill haveanother chance to eat in acouple of hours.Lessonlearned. (Youcan putthemeal inthe refrigeratorand,whenshe’s hungrybeforebedtime,ask,“Wouldyoulikeyour dinnernow?”)Giving twochoices—beforeyou start cooking—canalso help.“Wouldyou like barbecueorbaked chicken tonight?” Letkids add theirown seasonings—specialseasalt, cumin—at thetable.Domake-your-own tacosorpizza night. And,yes, theclassic moveofgettingkidsinvolved inthe shoppingand preppingdoeswork;they’re morelikely to tryfoodthattheypicked.

PICKY STUDENT? Go to real simple.com/ picky for schoollunch ideas.

THE WHITE-FOODS-ONLYDIET.

Soft andundemandingorsaltyand safe,processed carbs—pasta,bread, fries—arefavorites of thepicky. Sucheatershaveanextra-hard time warming up to newfoods.At each meal, offer acombination of things yourkidslike(bow ties) andthings thattheyare notconvincedof(Broccolini),suggestsRowell. Knowing that there’s alwayssomethingthat they caneat ratchetsdown the tension andcan makekids more open toexperimenting. Jacobsen suggestsputting outa small sampler plate,where afewbites of a new foodcanbepresented in alow-key, playful way.Broaden yourchild’s palate graduallybyoffering new foodsthatareclosetobelovedones:

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“Ifthey likeFrenchfries,trysweet potatofries,”saysMuth.Love cheese?Tryservingbroccoliwith cheese sauce.Orusecondimentsas a bridge:Ifyourchildlikesketchup, shemight try chickenorbaked potatoesif she candouse themwith thefamiliar flavoratfirst.Thisbabystepmethodcan beused to help kidsovercometheirdislike oftextures,too. Keepaddingslightlybiggerchunksintothehomemade applesauce, forinstance. FEAR OF FOODS COLLIDING. Kids mightlike theindividualparts,but mixed together, itlookslikeanew andunfamiliarfood.Inviteyour childtowatchyou preparethecasserole so shecanseethatnothing terribleislurkinginthere,saysDonovan (whoseson rejected herlasagna, FYI).Anddon’tstresstoo much; thisisonehang-upthatexperts aren’t tooconcernedabout.(Many adults stillclingtoit.)Let herdeconstruct asandwich,buya fewplates with compartments,and move on. STUCK ONTODDLER FARE. Byage 11 or 12,mostkids are gettingmore adventurous.But ifwearyparents havelongagothrownuptheir hands in the faceofwastedfood, somekids may stillbeina rotation ofPB&J andchocolatemilk.Atthis morelogic-drivenage,youcantry somenutritiontalk. “Ifyour child isan athlete,talkabout howcertain foodscan giveher moreenergy,” saysKing.Positive peer pressurecan workhere,too.A friendwholoves cabbagerollscanbea goodinfluence. Ifyousense an interest, explainthatit takes multipletries todevelopaliking.“Say to them, ‘Let’strainyourtastebuds,’” encouraging themtotake asmall biteor lickofafoodthattheywanttolearn toenjoy, says Muth. THENEWLY VEGAN TEEN. “We expecttweensandteenstoexplore their developing identities through foodchoices,”saysKing. (“I’m noteatinganythingwithaface!” “Sugarispoison!”) Calmly discuss thereasonsbehindthedecision. Arethey doingitbecauseofa burgeoningbeliefinanimalrights? Ifso,besupportivebuthelp them makesurethattheyarestill eating a balanceddiet.“Someyoung vegetariansdon’teatmeatbutalso don’tlikevegetables, whichwon’t work,”says Muth.Offertotake her toa nutritionistforadvice. Older kidsmay all ofasuddendevelop pickyeatingas away to assert control in theface ofstress, suchas divorce orbullying.Andthisis the agewheneating disordersdevelop, sobesure togettothebottomof any dramatic changes. STILLPICKY AT35. Ifyouhave a spouseora friendwho remains pickyas an adult, orderinggrilled cheeseat abusinessdinner, tryto mustera little sympathy. “Noone would choose to be anextreme pickyeater.It’spainfulandembarrassing,”saysLucianovic.Zucker helpedcreateanonlineregistryto study adult pickyeatersattheDuke CenterforEatingDisordersand gotthousandsofresponses.“People havebeentellingthese adults fortheirentirelives,‘Ifyoujust try it,you’lllike it,’butit’s notthat simple,”saysZucker. Ifyou arethe pickyadult andwanttochange, Lucianovicrecommendsgradual exposure:“Iwould takeonebiteof fishoff myhusband’splateatarestaurant. No pressuretoeatthe wholething.”At home, shestarted puttingatinydollopofsautéed greensonherpasta,gradually increasingtheportiontoget usedto it—andeventuallyto enjoyit.Now a foodwriterandaculinary-school graduate,Lucianovicgivesthis advicetoothersin the sameboat: “Takeitone biteatatime,andbe kindtoyourself.”

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