Personal space in the digital age

W O R K , M O N E Y, A N D H E A L T H A D V I C E F O R B U S Y P E O P L E

T H E G O O D - M O O D S W I T C H

Things don’t always go as planned. Never fear! You can snap out of a sour attitude— and regain a more positive perspective on the day—with a few easy strategies.

B y J e s s i c a M i g a l a

Y O U H O P E F O R S U N S H I N E and rainbows, so when something di cult happens and you end up feeling more dark and stormy, you may think your day is destroyed. But guess what: “It’s normal to experience negative emotions. They’re not bad or wrong; they’re giving you important information,” says Rachel Hershenberg, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University and author of Activating Happiness. Listening to what your feelings are telling you—that you need to give yourself a break, enjoy quality time with a loved one, or be heard and appreciated—can help you take action to mentally feel much lighter. That’s why having a set of lift-yourself-up tactics in your tool belt is key for tackling problems big and small. A few (fast) ideas:

You’re dreading your looming deadline.

R E E N E R G I Z E : Get moving. T I M E : 5 minutes. H O W -T O : Your initial urge may be to procrastinate, and you may even want to hop on the couch and turn on Netflix. Problem is, “low energy begets low energy,” says Hershenberg. “Instead of retreating, get a little active. That’s one of the best ways to give your mind a breather and change your emotional state so you can conquer the problem ahead.” There’s something uniquely revitalizing about heading out in the fresh air for a walk or going through a couple of stretches, but all you really need to do is stand up and move your body. Even routine activity that’s not exercise per se has been shown to lift feelings of boredom and dread, according to research in the journal Emotion. Or bookmark a few favorite yoga videos on YouTube that take you through a quick series of poses. Something is seriously weighing on you, and you’re consumed with worr y.

R E W I N D : Write it out. T I M E : 5 to 20 minutes. H O W -T O : “Worry can hijack your day by taking over real estate in your brain,” says Susan Biali Haas, MD, a wellness expert and life coach based in Vancouver, Canada. What’s more, it can keep you up at night. One strategy: Write out your worries. “This can help you work through your thoughts long before you have to go to bed,” says Hershenberg. If a few minutes is cathartic, that’s great. Keep the total time under 20 minutes, and don’t do this too close to bedtime. Set a timer; after it goes of, transition to another activity that’s more focused on the present, says Hershenberg. A bunch of little things are adding up—you spilled cofee on your pants, your commute was chaotic, and the list goes on.

D I S T R A C T Y O U R S E L F : Find an out. T I M E : 10 minutes. H O W -T O : When one annoying thing happens after another, it can feel like everything is going wrong. “Disrupt that pattern with a fast pick-me-up you know works,” something that gives you a “quick little win,” recommends Apryl Zarate Schlueter, author of Finding Success in Balance: My Journey to the Cheerful Mind. It could be an activity you’re great at (sing a song, poach an egg) or a quick scroll through recent wins at work (a thank-you email from your boss, your memory of a presentation gone well). “A confidence boost will shift your focus from the negative to the positive,” she says.

Your kid is really giving you sass, putting you at the end of your rope.

R E F R E S H : Go solo. T I M E : 15 minutes. H O W -T O : “Talk to your partner and plan a time for a short break today to reconnect with an activity that really filled your cup before you had kids,” suggests Laura Froyen, PhD, a parenting and relationship coach in Madison, Wisconsin. That may be a hobby, like watercoloring, or something relaxing, like reading. “Incorporating these activities into your life can be a powerful way to recharge,” she says. The trick is to be prepared for these moments, so buy the supplies you’ll need (paintbrushes and nice paper, for example) in advance and put them in an easy-to-access box—hidden away from prying kiddos, of course.

You have a million tasks on your to-do list and are getting frantic.

R E F O C U S : Breathe. T I M E : 1 minute. H O W -T O : As soon as that chaotic feeling settles in, stop, pause, and breathe. “We take small, shallow breaths when we’re stressed. Deep breathing can reduce anxiety and tension and gets more oxygen to your brain, helping you make better decisions,” says Biali Haas. Try 4-6-8 breathing, she says: Inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of six, and exhale for a count of eight. “It will help clear your head and reenergize you,” she explains.

You wake up already feeling terrible.

R E V E R S E I T : Show yourself love. T I M E : 25 minutes. H O W -T O : Do something nice for yourself today, even if that’s the last thing you feel like doing. “The worse we feel, the less we want to take care of ourselves, but doing so will improve your mood,” says Biali Haas. Try small acts, like taking a longer shower than normal, sitting outside without distractions, saying no to something you don’t want to do, or reading a book for a few minutes. Biali Haas stops by a cofee shop to pick up a steamed coconut milk with vanilla syrup. “It’s a cozy, comforting drink and a special treat that’s like a hug,” she says. You’re so frustrated you could cr y.

F E E L B E T T E R : Message someone you love. T I M E : 2 minutes. H O W -T O : Rather than ignoring your feelings, acknowledge what you’re going through. “It’s important not to shove things down. That may make you feel better in the moment, but you need to face your emotions as soon as possible,” says Biali Haas. Feeling your feelings helps prevent you from turning to unhealthy stress relievers, like downing a massive glass of wine, overeating, or shopping online. One trick is calling someone supportive who will lend an ear to your venting. “My sister is my closest confidant, but sometimes she can’t talk during the day. I use an app that lets me send her a direct voicemail message. She may not hear it for hours, but I know I can say whatever I need to, and I know she’ll have my back,” says Biali Haas. (One app to try: Slydial, free; iOS and Android.)

A c k n o w l e d g e w h a t y o u ’ r e g o i n g t h r o u g h — f e e l y o u r f e e l i n g s — r a t h e r t h a n s h o v i n g t h i n g s d o w n .

You had an of day, and now your mind is racing a mile a minute, so you can’t sleep.

R E L A X : Try a quick meditation. T I M E : 20 minutes. H O W -T O : If ruminating about a bad day is a habit, “having a relaxation strategy in your pocket will help immensely,” says Hershenberg. Download the app Insight Timer (free; iOS and Android), which gives you access to more than 9,000 guided meditations. Meditation not your thing? Create a playlist of calming tunes, especially ones linked to positive memories.

You have your weekly meeting with a coworker who’s always shooting down your (good!) ideas.

F L I P T H E S C R I P T : Repeat a mantra. T I M E : 5 seconds. H O W -T O : Feeling as if you’re being judged, whether by a colleague or a family member, is easy to take personally and can put you in a bad mood fast, says Froyen. To snap back into a happier mindset (instead of letting the meeting ruin your workday), repeat a mantra that will help you stay in the right frame of mind and maintain your confidence. Try “We both have our own way of approaching the situation, and that’s OK” or “I have diferent ideas, and they’re just as worthy of being heard.”

5 Things You Should Never Skimp On

S O M E T I M E S I T R E A L L Y D O E S P A Y T O S P E N D M O R E .

B y K a t e R o c k w o o d

1

Kitchen Knives

Rather than buying a cheap but clunky set of 12 knives, put that money toward one good chef’s knife, says Sam Goldbroch, a chef at the Chopping Block, a recreational cooking school in Chicago. A chef’s knife is the workhorse of the kitchen, and a high-quality one with a comfortable handle can make your cooking safer and speedier. Aside from an eight-inch chef’s knife, Goldbroch recommends that every home cook have a bread knife and a paring knife. Keep blades in good condition by swapping stone or glass cutting boards for wood or plastic ones, and never use a chef’s knife to cut frozen foods, bones, or bread. 2

Safety Gear

It may be tempting to snag that garage-sale bike helmet, but unless you’re absolutely certain of its provenance (and know it’s never been in even a minor accident), experts advise against doing so. You can’t always spot whether a helmet has been damaged, which means your secondhand find may not keep you or your kids safe. Instead, head to a bike shop. There’s no standard sizing when it comes to helmets, so try on a few options. Go with one that fits snugly, with the front edge no more than an inch or so above your eyebrows. 3

House Paint

You’ll hold on to a few extra bucks by buying the cheapest gallons of paint, but that savings may be short-lived. When Consumer Reports ran some 3,000 tests on more than 130 paints, researchers found that the least expensive paint (which cost less than $20 a gallon) tended to require more coats to cover darker colors and did not weather as well as slightly pricier gallons. That doesn’t mean you need to max out your budget: Four of the five top-rated interior and exterior paints were hardware-store brands. Skip bargain paintbrushes too. Tug the bristles before you buy—they should feel tightly packed. 4

Pet Food

“I can’t stress enough how important diet is for pets,” says Amber Slaughter, DVM, a veterinarian at Medical District Veterinary Clinic at Illinois in Chicago. Springing for highquality eats helps your dog or cat stay healthy and may help stave off conditions like diabetes, kidney disease, and dental issues that require medication or pricey prescription diets. To figure out whether your pet’s kibble is up to snuff, zero in on protein, says Slaughter. Even the priciest brands tend to include corn or grain by-products, but you want to make sure meat is listed in the top three ingredients. 5

Oil Changes

The best way to keep your car on the road as long as possible is to get regular oil changes at intervals recommended by your car’s manufacturer, says Jenni Newman, editor in chief of Cars.com. (Depending on the car and conditions, that could be every 7,500 to 10,000 miles. Peek at the owner’s manual for a mileage schedule.) When your mechanic suggests the costlier oil, don’t bristle at the perceived upsell. “Today’s finely tuned engines often require pricey synthetic motor oils,” says Newman. “Using the expensive stuff when recommended by the automaker may help your engine run longer.”

How to Make the Most of a Slow D ay at Work

D O N ’ T L E T T H O S E R A R E Q U I E T P E R I O D S G O T O W A S T E .

J U S T I N T I M E F O R T H E D O G D AY S O F S U M M E R , E X P E R T S S U G G E S T T I M E - F I L L E R S T H A T C A N B E N E F I T Y O U R C A R E E R .

B y Yo l a n d a W i k i e l Get Yourself in Order

When the o ce feels like a ghost town, revisit all those “someday” tasks. Tackle that screwy database or expense sheet. Get on top of your email. And don’t forget to tidy up your work space. “Things tend to accumulate over time, and the visual reminder can have a negative efect on your productivity,” says Cynthia Kyriazis, president of Productivity Partners Inc. and author of Get Organized. Get Focused. Get Moving. A neat desk can put you in the right mindset to hit the ground running once the pace picks up again.