The Start of Something New

B E A U T Y W H I L E M O M M I N G

Welcome to my ’Tox Talk.

Among the chat topics in my mom circle—besides current Netflix watch lists and career-pivot advice—a common question is, “Should I get Botox?” As the beauty director at Parents, my response is that I get it and I love it—and that, of course, it’s a personal choice. Then the follow-up questions begin. If you were in my WhatsApp group, here’s an edited version of how I would answer.

I thought people started Botox in their 40s. Now I’m seeing 20-year-olds getting it!?

You’re not wrong. More women are viewing it as a preventive measure to keep skin smooth over time, and millennials and Gen Z are blazing the path to making it mainstream. A survey conducted by Allergan (the owners of Botox Cosmetics) found that globally, 82 percent of 21-to-35-year-olds believe that injectable treatments are socially acceptable. That said, while Botox may seem ubiquitous on our Instagram feeds, it remains a splurge for most of us. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, only about 6 percent of American women between the ages of 30 and 54 got Botox in 2020. (Botox procedures overall were down by 13 percent —the pandemic, of course, may have been a factor.)

What exactly do you get done?

I get Botox injected into the vertical lines between my brows—the so-called “11s”—and along my eyes to soften my crow’s-feet. My dermatologist, Dendy Engelman, M.D., also dots it across my forehead, distributing with the eye of an artist, stepping back to see my full face and asking me to frown and smile as she

What I Tel l My F riends Ab out Botox

For starters, no one should feel peer pressure in either direction.

by K AT E S A N D O VA L B O X

works so she can adjust the result. The “baby Botox” micro-droplet technique ensures that I don’t look frozen; my expressions are still there and more natural than if she’d put the same amount in one spot. “Years ago, injectors were a lot more heavy-handed and patients could seem too done. Now most doctors use much less with a goal of keeping some facial movement so people still look like themselves,” Dr. Engelman says. Other commonly treated areas are “barcode lines” above the lip, a pebbly chin, and the jaw muscle (to slim the face or help with teeth grinding).

So when did you start?

In my early 20s, I noticed the lines between my brows stayed put even when I wasn’t frowning, and I began once-ayear injections. (Strange but true: My dad, an oculoplastic surgeon, did them for me.) In my 30s, I reupped to two times a year. Did my desire for Botox skyrocket after having a baby and experiencing extreme lack of sleep? Hard yes—it was my top beauty priority after I finished breastfeeding. I felt as if I’d aged more during new motherhood than in the decades before. Even if I’d had time for an extensive skin routine, that wouldn’t have offered a quick improvement. Botox results are pretty impressive: Wrinkles temporarily vanish, pores look smaller, sweat glands are less active, and skin is smoother—without real downtime.

How much time and money are we talking here?

The appointment itself is fast (most of it is spent waiting for a numbing ointment to do its thing). After the injections, results are usually visible within three to seven days and last from two to four months. Prices vary widely but generally start at $250 per area of the face. A top derm on the coasts may charge three times more than a med spa in the middle of the country, and, frustratingly, it’s hard to know what the total cost may be until you have a consultation. “Patients have different muscular strength and anatomy, so I might put 12 units of Botox in one forehead and then need 20 units for the next,” Dr. Engelman explains. As tempting as it can be to go with the best deal in town, do factor in the expertise and reputation of your injector. You want someone who has great referrals, has recent examples of their work, and makes you feel comfortable.

I’m kind of scared, though.

There are risks: Bruising, headaches, swelling, asymmetrical results, and, although very unlikely, allergic reactions are possible. “It’s like the risk we take when we’re in a car; there’s a chance we could get into an accident, but we follow precautions to reduce our likelihood,” says Michelle Henry, M.D., a dermatologist in New York City. So if you could use reassurance, know that millions of people around the world have had safe neurotoxin injections for decades. Are you worried that you’ll go overboard? There is something called perception drift: When we’re exposed to a lot of over-manipulated images, it skews what we perceive as attractive. Referencing your before-and-after photos can help keep yourself in check—and super-honest mom-friend chats can do that for you too.

T he St a r t o f S ome t h i n g New

As actor Wi lmer Va lderrama and model A manda Pacheco prepare to celebrate their daughter Na kano’s first birthday, they look back on their whirlwind romance and what they ’ve learned about love, fami ly, and getting some sleep.

by E R I N B R I E D / photographs by V I C T O R D E M A R C H E L I E R

I T W A S J U S T supposed to be coffee. NCIS star Wilmer Valderrama, 42, who rose to fame as a teenager on That ’70s Show and now voices the dad, Agustín, in Disney’s animated hit Encanto, made plans to meet model Amanda Pacheco, 31, at a Los Angeles café three years ago. Neither thought much of it. He was killing time before a f light. Pacheco, a certified divemaster and ocean lover, wanted advice about Miami, where Valderrama was born and where she was hoping to move. A friend connected them. But then something surprising happened: Their quick, casual coffee turned into a four-hour heart-to-heart. “The energy was just so right,” says Valderrama. “We ended up telling each other our deepest secrets.”

Valderrama is often on the way to the airport for his acting work. He has also made nearly 50 appearances as a USO Global Ambassador, greeting American troops the world over to help boost morale. He calls it “one of the greatest joys of my life” and a way to thank the country that welcomed him and his family when they emigrated from Venezuela in 1993. “I am so grateful that the United States makes the American dream possible for immigrants,” he says. “The least I can do now is be of service to those who serve our country.”

If Valderrama hadn’t had to jet that day, his conversation with Pacheco likely would’ve gone into the night. Instead, they stayed connected via text while he was away for the week, and upon his return, they had their first official date. “He took me to the movies, but it wasn’t just him,” Pacheco reveals. “He brought his sisters, his mother, his best friend, and the friend’s wife and kid!” They held hands watching Dumbo, and so began their romance.