If Your Aluminum Foil Could Talk It would

…to burn a fake log in the fireplace?

For a crackling fire fast—without kindling or coaxing—you can go faux worry-free, says Ashley Eldridge, director of education for the Chimney Safety Institute of America. Compared to the real deal, manufactured logs are ecofriendly and easier to light. While burning, they emit fewer pollutants and particulate matter, a by-product of combustion that can irritate eyes and lungs. But with everything from sawdust to wood shavings inside, fake logs burn hotter and faster than hardwood, so treat them carefully. Use one at a time— never have a blazing stack—and don’t poke or prod the log. This can trigger a rapid release of flammable material that might be too hot for a chimney to handle. “Just light the log and leave it alone,” says Eldridge. not bad at all!

…to use oil-based paint?

As they dry, oil-based paints emit high levels of volatile organic compounds (VOCs). Breathe in these VOCs and you’re at shortterm risk for nausea and headaches, with long-term exposure linked to liver and kidney damage. Classified as a hazardous material, oil-based paint “is going the way of the dinosaurs,” says Bob Cusumano, technical adviser to the Painting and Decorating Contractors of America. If there’s oil-based paint in your home that you want to cover with latex paint, sand the area thoroughly, and apply a bonding primer. Think the oilbased paint dates back to the 1970s or earlier? It might contain lead, so use extreme caution—check in with a pro for removal tips before proceeding. really bad!

…to keep patio furniture outside all winter?

Depending on the local climate, most outdoor furniture needs to hibernate indoors till spring. That’s because ice, snow, and belowfreezing temps will do a number on wicker, rattan, glass, wrought iron, plastic, and softer woods. “Exposed to harsh weather, these materials can split, splinter, or crack beyond repair,” says Mark Ramos, general manager at Offenbachers, a patio furniture retailer in the Baltimore, MD, area. Sturdier materials, like cedar and aluminum, can usually endure winter outdoors as long as you protect them with heavy, waterresistant covers. sorta bad!

…to let squirrels eat from your bird feeder?

With the agility of a Cirque du Soleil acrobat and an appetite for seeds and suet, a squirrel can defeat even the most squirrelproof feeder. And that’s OK, says Emma Greig, Ph.D., head of Project FeederWatch at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology in Ithaca, NY. An essential part of the wildlife ecosystem, squirrels have nutburying habits that lead to the growth of new trees, and they’re a tasty meal for birds of prey (hey, we all gotta eat). Still, if they’re scaring off feathered friends and being a nuisance, try a specialty seed mix containing capsaicin, the chemical that makes peppers hot. Birds aren’t bothered by it, but squirrels may be put off by the tongueburning flavor. not so bad!