Lavender Magazine 768

CONTENTS

ISSUE 768 October 31-November 13, 2024

Fall Love & Marriage

16 Beyond Sunday Morning: Grace-Trinity Community Church’s Pastor Zac Calvo and Husband Elliot Huemann Speak on Faith, Sexuality and Community 18 The Beauty of Bemidji 20 The Bakken Museum — Married to Experience and Exemplifying ‘Love is Love’ 22 LGBTQ+ Parental Rights Challenged, Upheld in Minnesota

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OUR LAVENDER

8 What Do Weddings, Santa Claus and the Supreme Court All Have in Common?

8 Through a Glass, Darkly…

OUR SCENE

10 Five Destinations to Inspire Your Next Journey 12 Fine Art at First and Fifth – Kickernick Gallery is Now Open!

14 “The Beginning of the End” After Over a Decade of DifferenceMaking, Telling Queer History Prepares To Ride Into the Sunset

OUR LIVES

24 When It Takes a Village, It Takes a Village: PFund Foundation’s Approach to Community Support 26 For Children’s Minnesota, a nonprofit, donations power the health care kids deserve.

28 Operatic Excellence at Every Age

OUR HOMES

30 An Affordable (And Fun) Buick?!?

OUR RESOURCES

32 Community Connection 33 The Network

OUR VOICES

34 Episode 12

ON THE COVER

Grace-Trinity Community Church’s Pastor Zac Calvo and Husband Elliot Huemann. Photo by Three Tree Weddings 18: Photo courtesy of Visit Bemidji, 10: Photo courtesy of BigStock/ SeanPavonePhoto, 20: Photo by Brooke Elisabeth Photography, 26: Photo courtesy of Children's Minnesota

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Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner Contributors Layla Amar, Lakey Bridge, E.B. Boatner, Buer Carlie, Natasha DeLion, Arthur Diggins, Alyssa Homeier, Terrance Griep, Elise Maren, Jen Peeples-Hampton, Linda Raines, Alexander Reed, Gregg Shapiro, Randy Stern, Susan Swavely, Carla Waldemar, Todd P. Walker, Emma Walytka, Spencer White

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OUR LAVENDER | FROM THE EDITOR

BY NOAH MITCHELL

What Do Weddings, Santa Claus and the Supreme Court All Have in Common?

It’s not (just) weird outfits.

Weddings and marriage can seem like one of society’s untouchable, unchanging phenomena, up there with Santa Claus and the Supreme Court.

And it is, in the same sense as those examples — which is to say, it’s not.

Any children aged 6 or under (because of course at 7, belief in Santa is “marginal”) who may be reading this column, please skip to the next paragraph. Santa Claus is not a mythical figure that has existed since time immemorial, but rather an amalgamation of several folk characters who first appeared in the popular conscience in the 18th century.

Like Mr. Claus, the Supreme Court is younger than the sun, the Catholic Church, and Mozart despite the garb of its justices suggesting other-

wise. It was established by the First Congress in 1789. Its power of judicial review was established in 1803, and it reached its current total of nine justices in 1869 — not so untouchable after all.

That same Supreme Court, despite the best efforts of our nation’s biggest bigots and after decades of organized action by activists, changed another supposedly untouchable institution when it guaranteed gay and lesbian couples the right to marriage in Obergefell v. Hodges in 2015.

As marriage has changed, so too have weddings, despite being significantly older than both previously discussed SCs. Archaeologists have found evidence of wedding ceremonies as early as 2350 B.C.E., according to the Pocono Record.

Since then, they’ve gone through several changes.

The first wedding rings were exchanged by Egyptians, with European Christians not adopting the practice until the Middle Ages. Bridesmaids and groomsmen appeared in Elizabethan England. The white wedding dress didn’t emerge until the 1800s. And that’s all just in the Western world.

No matter how permanent things may seem, they’ve almost always changed over time. One of the few exceptions to that rule is the importance of love in our lives — exactly what modern weddings are meant to celebrate.

So, if you’re planning a wedding, don’t worry too much about following tradition. They’ve changed before, and they’ll change again. What’s important is celebrating love, whenever, wherever and in whatever clothes you decide to do it. 

OUR LAVENDER | A WORD IN EDGEWISE

BY E.B. BOATNER

Through a Glass, Darkly…

I read a couple of books recently that, while I’d not like to take a three-hour final on them, nudged my brain out of neutral and set me thinking about subjects I’d previously associated with ten-foot poles.

It started when I opened Nate Silver’s recent “On the Edge: The Art of Risking Everything;” not because I’m planning to make a splash in Vegas, but because the world in general seems to be upping the ante, dancing on the brink, pushing out ever further the parameters of Risk.

I first encountered Silver’s name in 2008 when we ran a blurb on his FiveThirtyEight in Lavender’s “Big Gay News” column. FiveThirtyEight (the number of members of the Electoral College) was a blog that delved into political forecasting. Silver had previously been a professional poker player but moved on when Congress passed the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act (UIGEA) in 2000, pretty much drying up that source of income.

A lot of folks, writes Silver, examined his statistical model statistics, and thought him a fool. But as Silver explains, from the standpoint of skilled gamblers, his was a good forecast: his model forecast Candidate T’s chances at 29% while the market price was 17%, so for every $100 placed on T, you’d have a return of $74. If you’d

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LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

bet on those odds, you’d have won a bundle — without necessarily having to vote for that candidate. “My job,” he stresses here, “is to handicap the race — to tell you how you should bet.”

This volume, as well as his 2012 best-selling “The Signal and the Noise,” explores how to examine and make forecasts for almost any issues requiring decisions: politics, stocks, weather, health, betting on games and sports — poker, chess, baseball, football, what have you. There are levels, and some, particularly earthquakes, are intrinsically less predictable than others.

Silver is not offering a magic key to winning, for there are no certainties, but rather factors more suited to forecasting desired solutions. In this era of proliferating Big Data and AI, data itself is all-important, and the more data the better … to a point. You must know how to use it, and know what percentage is usable signals, and what is merely noise. Winning is in the sifting.

Probabilistic thinking, the method designed

by Thomas Bayes, 18th-century English statistician and philosopher and contemporary of economist Adam Smith, is the means Silver advocates. Bayes’ theorem is a simple [sic] mathematical rule allowing one to use “priors” — your already acquired data — as well as incorporating new information (the quarterback is injured and

out this game) to update your predicted probabilities. As I understand it, a simpler, more dynamic system than insisting on accumulating all possible surrounding data, much of which won’t be relevant — noise, not signal.

Silver’s texts are briskly written and studded with interviews with sports luminaries, epidemiologists, professional gamblers and even felon Sam Bankman-Fried (aka SBF), bad-boy of cryptocurrency who made “some quite deranged statements about risk.” Silver describes his own guided tour through the art of risking everything as “friendly, informative — and occasionally provocative.” His examples are definitely thoughtprovoking, though revelations of the darker undercurrents of the River (Texas hold ’em jargon) recall Daddy’s nighttime jingle when his “This little piggy went to market” made your neck hairs horripilate with the sudden knowledge that the little piggy wasn’t destined to shop.

Both books interweave high drama, gaudy characters and intellectual fodder. A heuristic takeaway: overconfidence is a huge problem in any field involving prediction. Or, as Yogi Berra clarified, “It’s difficult to make predictions, especially about the future.” 

OUR SCENE | TRAVEL

BY TODD P. WALKER

ers. Beyond the natural beauty, Phoenix’s arts scene shines with places like Roosevelt Row, where street murals and galleries create a dynamic canvas of local creativity. The city’s food scene serves up an eclectic mix, from authentic Mexican cuisine to innovative dishes inspired by Southwestern flavors, making every meal an exploration in itself.

Phoenix’s LGBTQ+ community thrives in the Melrose District, where vibrant bars, clubs, and shops create a welcoming vibe. The city celebrates Phoenix Pride in early April, bringing the streets to life with parades, parties, and events that highlight the spirit of inclusivity and diversity.

Charleston, S.C.

Five Destinations to Inspire Your Next Journey Ready to plan your next great adventure? These five destinations are here to shake up your travel game. Sail the seas off Costa Rica’s coast, immerse yourself in the cultural pulse of Spain, hike the rugged trails of Phoenix, explore the historic streets of Charleston, S.C., or bask in the sun-soaked vibes of the Cayman Islands. Each place has its own story and energy, perfect for sparking your wanderlust and adding to your travel vision board.

Star Clipper: Setting Sail from Costa Rica

Imagine the thrill of setting sail from Costa Rica on a tall ship like the Star Clipper, with its billowing sails catching the wind as you navigate the pristine waters of Central America. This journey invites you to explore hidden treasures such as the lush rainforest of Quepos, known for its proximity to Manuel Antonio National Park where you can spot capuchin monkeys and sloths. In Panama’s Coiba National Park, the marine life below the surface is unmatched, with snorkeling and diving opportunities in crystal-clear waters filled with colorful coral reefs and diverse sea creatures. The intimate onboard experience, with its teak decks and opportunities to climb the rigging, offers a taste of maritime history blended with the serenity of life at sea.

Spain: From Valencia to Madrid

Valencia pulses with a vibrant energy that draws you into its rhythm, a city where ancient streets meet cutting-edge design. Explore the futuristic architecture of the City of Arts and Sciences, stroll through the lively Mercado Central, and savor traditional paella at a seaside restaurant in its birthplace.

As the city prepares to host the 2026 Gay Games, its commitment to diversity is palpable in every corner. Transitioning to Madrid, the journey leads you into the heart of the Chueca neighborhood, a hub of creativity and inclusivity. Here, boutique shops, trendy tapas bars, and colorful plazas set the scene for nights that stretch into the early morning hours. This neighborhood is a celebration of expression and culture, where every street corner tells a story.

Phoenix, Ariz.: Desert Vibes and Urban Cool

Phoenix offers a landscape that feels like stepping into another world, with its towering cacti and the vast stretches of the Sonoran Desert. Hike up Camelback Mountain for sweeping views that reveal the true scale of this unique desert city. The Desert Botanical Garden offers a closer look at the flora that thrives in this arid environment, including rare cacti and stunning wildflowPhoto courtesy of BigStock/CL-Medien

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Charleston unfolds like a storybook filled with chapters of history, charm, and coastal beauty. Start with the cobblestone streets and horse-drawn carriages that lead you through centuries-old architecture, where every building has a tale to tell. The city’s culinary scene is a true Southern feast, with dishes like shrimp and grits or Lowcountry boil that capture the essence of coastal living. Wander through the Charleston City Market, a hub of local artisans and Gullah sweetgrass basket weavers, connecting you to the area’s heritage.

Fort Sumter’s historic significance and the ghostly legends of Charleston’s past add layers of intrigue. Relax at the picturesque waterfront parks or take a sunset cruise in the harbor. The gardens, historic plantations, and oak-draped pathways set the scene for a city that feels both timeless and vibrant, blending tradition with contemporary spirit.

Charleston’s LGBTQ+ scene thrives in the welcoming Park Circle neighborhood of North Charleston, where inclusive bars, clubs, and entertainment spots create a lively atmosphere for both locals and visitors. A standout destination is Dudley’s on Ann, the only dedicated gay bar in downtown Charleston, celebrated for its energetic drag shows and friendly crowd. For a more laidback vibe, Bin 152 offers a unique mix as a wine bar, art gallery, and antique market, perfect for savoring a glass of wine with friends. Whether you’re up for a vibrant night out or a relaxed spot to unwind, Charleston’s LGBTQ+ nightlife offers something for everyone, all wrapped in the city’s signature Southern charm.

Cayman Islands: Sunshine and Sand

The Cayman Islands offer a mix of adventure and relaxation, from snorkeling with stingrays in crystal-clear waters to exploring hidden coves by sail.

Seven Mile Beach is the center of the island’s LGBTQ+ scene, also hosting the annual Pride Parade. With its lively dining scene featuring fresh seafood and plenty of spots to kick back by the ocean, the islands create an atmosphere that invites you to unwind. Whether you’re diving into the reefs or soaking up the island vibes, it’s a destination that promises both thrill and tranquility.

Now, there’s an exciting way to get there. The “Caymanneapolis Season Swap” is a new promotion tied to the launch of nonstop flights from Minneapolis to Grand Cayman. To enter, write a creative essay of up to 250 words explaining why you and your crew want to swap snowy days for Cayman sunshine. The contest runs through December 20, 2024, so put on your creative hat and start dreaming of your island escape!

Entries can be submitted at visitcaymanislands.com/season-swap. The contest is open to residents of Minnesota and the Cayman Islands, ages 21 and over, with valid passports. Winners and their guests will enjoy travel between January and March 2025, with stays at the Hotel Indigo and exciting local experiences.

If your essay wins, you and up to three guests will get to experience the Cayman Islands together. The prize includes roundtrip airfare, a stay at Hotel Indigo Grand Cayman, a day at Stingray City, and a guide to the ultimate Grand Cayman experience. It’s an opportunity to explore this island paradise with your closest friends or family, all thanks to your creative writing. So, gather your ideas, tell your story, and you might find yourself swapping the snow for the sun!

Make the Leap and Explore

As you plan your next escape, picture yourself navigating Costa Rica’s waters, embracing Spain’s vibrant energy, exploring Phoenix’s dynamic art scene, experiencing Charleston’s coastal charm, or unwinding on the Cayman Islands’ beaches. Each of these places holds an experience waiting to be discovered. Grab your map, fuel your sense of adventure, and let these destinations be the start of your next great journey. 

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OUR SCENE | ARTS

BY BUER CARLIE

Fine Art at First and Fifth – Kickernick Gallery is Now Open!

Minneapolis has a new addition to its art gallery scene. Brought about in part by Minneapolis’ Arts & Culture Vibrant Storefronts Initiative, Kickernick Gallery, located in the much-coveted corner unit of the Kickernick Building at First Avenue and Fifth Street, offers passersby a glimpse of some of the incredible work of Minnesotan artists while they wander this downtown-adjacent portion of the Warehouse District.

The seven-story Kickernick Building, located on the 400 block of First Avenue, has been a part of Minneapolis for nearly 130 years. Originally a shoe factory, this boxy, brick building was eventually purchased by the Winget Kickernick Company, which is where it got the name it retains to this day.

Given its long history, it is not surprising that the use and ownership of the building have changed over the years. After a particularly hard stretch around the COVID-19 pandemic, the building was purchased by new owners in early 2024 with an updated dream for the property. At the time of purchase, the building was almost entirely empty. “It was 99% vacant,” says Kickernick Gallery Curator Christy Frank.

The new owners have already brought in a couple of new restaurants (Hyderabad Indian Grill is taking over Hark’s old space and Tropico Columbia Cocktails will take over Kickernick Cafe), but beyond that, the building promises to be a haven for local creatives.

“The owners, passionate about fostering artists and creative businesses, are dedicated to revitalizing First Ave. as an artistic hub, much like it was in decades past,” says Frank.

Under its new ownership, the Kickernick building is providing affordable studio spaces for artists that start at $795 per month and has already made itself home to a few small businesses that also have an artistic bent.

With this vision of the Kickernick building as an artistic hub, the new owners knew they wanted to do something special with the corner of First and Fifth.

“This corner is the focal point of the building, and they believed an art gallery would be the perfect addition, bringing vibrancy and enhancing the aesthetic of First Ave.,” says Frank. “With downPhoto courtesy of Christy Frank, Curator, Kickernick Gallery. Photo by Jamie Sukow Photography

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LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

town Minneapolis in need of a fine art gallery, it felt like the perfect match for them as well as the building.”

Kickernick Gallery had its grand opening in late September with a show that featured a wide array of local artists, many of whom Frank knew from her experience hosting art shows at the furniture store and custom frame shop she used to own.

“I started with my own artist database and then I dove into some of the artist directories in town,” Frank says. “I also looked at some of the artists I have always appreciated but have not had the opportunity to work with.”

Artists featured at Kickernick Gallery’s grand opening included Sarah Edwards, Ben Labuzzetta, James Gabbert, Evan Abrahamson, Sandra Felemovicius, Gina Gaetz, Cathy Bratter, Cynthia Holien, Rita Dungrey, Laurie Borggreve, Mary Meuwissen and Emily Donovan.

The current collection, which will remain open through January 2025, is a delightful collection of paintings, collages, glass art, sculptures, photography, and other multimedia works. The gallery uses space well, intermingling pieces by different artists across the gallery in a way that allows the diverse art styles to complement one another.

“We plan on having around three to four shows a year,” Frank says. “Any artists that are interested in showing at the gallery can contact me via the contact form on our website.”

Although it is fun to simply walk by the building and take in the show from the sidewalk, it is well worth an actual visit to the gallery to enjoy the collection.

“I encourage patrons, or anyone curious about the gallery to stop by Monday to Friday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.,” Frank says. “Those are our hours for now.”

“We also plan to have many more events going forward,” says Frank, “we plan on keeping the buzz going on the corner of First & Fifth!” If these future events are anything like the grand opening, I can promise delicious bites, interesting people, themed cocktails, beautiful art, and maybe even a red carpet or two.

The best place to keep up with Kickernick Gallery’s upcoming events is on Instagram (@ kickernickgallery) or via their website, listed below.

Keep your eye on the space to see what they bring to the space next!  Kickernick Gallery 430 N. First Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55401 @kickernickgallery www.kickernickgallery.com

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OUR SCENE | ARTS

BY TERRANCE GRIEP

“The Beginning of the End”

After Over a Decade of DifferenceMaking, Telling Queer History Prepares To Ride Into the Sunset It may not have looked like much … but it didn’t have to; it wasn’t supposed to. It may have looked like two dozen motley people sitting in a motley half-circle listening to one motley speaker speak because it was two dozen motley people sitting in a motley half-circle listening to one motley speaker speak.

It convened in June 2013 within the nigh-legendary halls known as Madame of the Arts. Twentyfive storytellees attended, ranging in age from sixteen to seventy, a listening troupe whose relative width and breadth astonished and thrilled the gathering’s gatherers. The audience “held a large range of identities across race, gender, sexuality and class,” according to Rebecca Lawrence.

This was the first gathering of Telling Queer History.

The venue identified itself as a “radical queer event space,” but the intention behind TQH was anything but radical. As TQH’s website puts it, “The mission of Telling Queer History is to connect Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer + people across generations and identities through storytelling gatherings, which bring communities together to foster compassion, empathy, and healing.”

Although the group is focused on History — the word is right there in its name — it focuses thusly with one eye on the future. Continues the website, “We envision an intersectional LGBTQ+ community dedicated to authentic conversations that strengthen a sense of belonging, connection, agency, and hope, where all voices are heard, valued, and respected.”

The group was created to countervail a pervasive sense of unconnected solitude, repeated again and again by folk with few or no authentic social connections. “Queer people often feel isolated because so much of our history is buried by systemic violence,” Telling Queer History further declares online. “Through our events, Telling Queer History works to eliminate isolation so attendees feel empowered to lead in a community they feel connection to.”

So what is it that perpetrates all this simple-but-profound connecting and community-ing and curing the common isolation? Telling Queer History is “a series of storytelling gatherings that connect LGBTQ+ people across generations and identities,” the website elaborates.

The impetus for this approach asserted itself to founder and executive director Rebecca Lawrence as she listened to personal anecdotes shared by her own uncle recounting his weathering of the AIDS Crisis of the 1980s. Says Lawrence, “I realized how much history was lost with those lives and how much was shaped by that loss. I brought the idea of sharing stories to other activist friends and they all encouraged me to create the gatherings.”

The AIDS Crisis, Lawrence saw, could be replaced by any number of modern issues that plague modern unicorns … and these issues might be addressed and dealt with in the same way, via the simple acts of physically coming together and vocally vibrating each others’ ear drums. Such contemporary get-togethers have revolved around a uniting theme — recent examples include “LGBTQ+ Spaces in Downtown Minneapolis,” “The Art of Healthier Relationships,” and “LGTQIA+ Midwest History” — and have been substance-free, family-friendly, and ASL-interpreted. Tickets are usually required to attend, but often they’re free or sold on a sliding scale … meaning attendees pay what they can afford.

In recent years, the most serious themes have been reserved for the most serious personal histories. Affirms the group’s website, “LGBTQ people continue to face transphobia, racism, poverty and violence, even in their own communities and relationships.”

Despite this thoroughly current, much-needed communing, Telling Queer History is, much like its told stories, nearing its denouement. Entitled “The Long Minnesota Good-Bye,” TQH’s swan song just began with a “community conversation” in October 2024. An exhibit of stories and organizational archives will mark TQH’s final months. Finally, assuming TQH’s funding holds up, the Long Minnesota Good-Bye will climax with an “end-of-life celebration” to be held June 2025, “an organizational funeral where you can gather with us to say good-bye and share ritual, food, stories, music, laughter, and tears.”

Regardless of how formally they’ll be brought to life, stories dependably endure in ways that may not look like much but will always be Telling … or, as Telling Queer History’s website puts it, “Bearing witness to our current, personal stories and how they relate to past histories gives us a crucial sense of place, pride, belonging, and empathy which allows us to better work together.”  Telling Queer History www.tellingqueerhistory.com

Storyteller Nick Metcalf, pictured second from left, talks to participants on the LGBTQ+ History Downtown Minneapolis Walking Tour in September 2023, a joint project of TQH and the Minnesota Humanities Center.

Photo courtesy of Telling Queer History

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Beyond Sunday Morning:

Grace-Trinity Community Church’s Pastor Zac Calvo and Husband Elliot Huemann Speak on Faith, Sexuality and Community Zac Calvo, who has ser ved for the past year and a half as the pastor of Grace Trinity Church in Uptown, and his husband Elliot Huemann share a passion for the divine and a compassion for the individual — not only those in Grace Trinity’s congregation but also in the wider community it ser ves.

OUR SCENE | FALL LOVE & MARRIAGE

BY ARTHUR DIGGINS

Their life stories and their love story form the basis of their ongoing commitment to living their faith, not just having it.

A little background on Calvo: born and raised in the Seattle area, he grew up in what he describes as a Pentecostal and musical family. “The intersection of music and church was strong for me as a young person,” he says.

Calvo followed this interest by earning an undergraduate degree in music from Northwest University, a small Pentecostal school in Seattle, and he initially applied his twin interests in faith and music by working with youth and young adults at a Seattlearea Presbyterian church. While he found this work rewarding, Calvo says, “At the same time, I was coming out and realizing that the church I was at was more conservative than I had thought.” These considerations led Calvo to seek out a “more hospitable place” in which to develop his faith.

The Presbyterian Church of the United States of America (PCUSA), a denomination that ordains women and gay priests, proved to be that place. Calvo attended Princeton Theological Seminary from 2015 to 2018, a time of growth and reflection after which he was employed as an assistant pastor at a Seattle-area Presbyterian church. “That’s when I met Elliot, now my husband,” Calvo says. “We lived in Seattle for three years before we moved to Minneapolis,” where Calvo has been Pastor of Grace-Trinity Community Church for the past year and a half. The church is an interdenominational merger between the PCUSA and the American Baptist Church.

Huemann’s journey includes similar experiences. He was raised in a “very large” Evangelical Free Church in southern Wisconsin and attended the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point, where he was “very involved” with campus ministry activities. Like Calvo, however, he found, as he was reconciling his sexuality with his spirituality, that the faith community he was with “didn’t have a lot of room for gay people,” and his own interest in matters spiritual took a back seat to his studies and other areas of life. Huemann graduated with a degree in organizational and interpersonal communication and moved to Seattle where he earned an advanced degree in counseling psychology at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. He continues the career he began in Seattle as a licensed mental health counselor in Minneapolis.

Seeking out hospitable spiritual venues is common between Calvo and Huemann’s stories, and indeed such venues have not always been easy to find. “I’m sure there are people in this world that would object to my ordination,” Calvo says. “And I would say, one, I actually respect people’s right to believe what they want to believe. I think that’s an important foundational principle of a democratic society.”

However, Calvo says, he came to a place of realizing that the ideas of people who didn’t think he should be pastor or be ordained “were just noise,” and had no bearing on his life and work. He has built bridges with his critics, also, by seeking relationships with them that go beyond doctrinal differences. “Relationships are the place where healing happens, not in arguments,” Calvo says.

Huemann says his own faith-life journey is sustained by an ongoing “gut feeling” that “God wants a part of my life.” This feeling started with an adherence to the belief system of Evangelical Christianity, but Huemann says that when it came to the process of reconciling his sexuality with his faith, “sexuality was the string that I pulled, but this led to shaking out a lot of other questions.”

Huemann’s development led to the formation of a spiritual life that incorporates facets of both Buddhist and Christian traditions. Like many people who incorporate both of these traditions in their lives, Huemann sees no conflict in the teachings and outcomes of living his faith.

But why faith or a church in the first place? Calvo says, “We need places in our lives where we are reminded that there is something much bigger than us.” Some point to political action and activism as fulfilling this agenda, but Calvo points out, “Politics and activism ask questions that are external to the self,” but spirituality addresses more root, internal issues: “What is going on inside you?”

Through faith, Calvo says, “We recognize that we don’t have all the answers, there are things that are mysteries to us. I don’t think politics is engaged in questions of mystery. We don’t have all the answers, and we are in a dangerous place if we start thinking that we have them.”

Calvo sees his own church and ministry as moving away from “proscriptive” Christian doctrines (which some believe dictate the ideal self) to a more inclusive, community-oriented mission that takes the importance of Sunday morning worship and expands it to “learning to share physical space and relationships with people across significant differences.”

Calvo’s faith community, therefore, functions as an outreach to not only LGBTQ+ populations but also to anyone seeking to encounter the divine within themselves. Faith motivates people to be in relationship with each other, and so is a conversation, not a lecture, Calvo believes.

A final question for Calvo and Huemann: what is the root of their relationship, or any good relationship? “The start of a good relationship is always you knowing yourself,” Huemann says.

Sharing the self is impossible if you don’t know who you are to begin with, he says, and this plays out in the couple’s own relationship and marriage. “When I met Elliot, he was pretty grounded in himself,” Calvo says: “It was very natural, it was very organic.”

Calvo believes differences are as important as commonalities in relationships. “In my experience, Elliot and I are very different,” he says, and this friction forms part of their attraction and is a part of what makes their marriage work.

Also, “There are certain freedoms you give up when you make a commitment — there’s a sacrificial element to a relationship.” One’s needs remain important, but must be balanced by an ongoing consideration of one’s partner’s needs, Calvo noted. In other words, a partnership implies sacrifice as well as benefit.

Grace-Trinity hosts an intimate congregation of about 70 people on Sunday morning, and Calvo is proud of the “great choir and great music” this Sunday morning experience offers, reflecting his background in faith and music.

The church’s outreach activities are growing, and include a yearly art show, food shelf support, and work that looks at issues of housing and the homeless.

The Gay Men’s Chorus has offices in the church building as well, and NA and AA meetings happen on-site almost every evening.

Who is welcome at Grace-Trinity?

Everyone. But no one should be forced toward a spiritual life or position, Calvo believes: “The only people who should be in church are people who want to be there,” he says. “Our resources are here for us to share.”

Grace-Trinity is located at 1430 W. 28th St. in Minneapolis. For more information, go to the church’s website: gracetrinitychurch.org 

Photos by Three Tree Weddings LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

17

OUR SCENE | FALL LOVE & MARRIAGE

BY ALYSSA HOMEIER

The Beauty of Bemidji

Boasting beautiful landscapes, bike trails, parks, and a warm community, Bemidji is a wonderful place to experience with someone you love. Nestled along the Mississippi River, Bemidji is home to breathtaking scenery.

Large, outstanding pines, clear, lucent lakes and rivers, and active wildlife make the small city feel like a paradise as well as the ultimate wedding destination.

Though small, Bemidji has a charm to it that cannot be found anywhere else. The quaint community has many different attributes that make it the perfect place to plan a wedding. Not only does the town have multiple venues and event planners that will work with couples to create the perfect once-in-a-lifetime experience, but the city itself is a romantic, natural backdrop sure to make any moment exceptional.

Aside from the brilliant community, Bemidji is rich in wildlife, history and activities. If you are someone who enjoys the planning process, it will not take much work to find countless places to sightsee, learn about the area or relax beside the waterline. The Visit Bemidji website details numerous different activities for all times of the year, as well as scheduled events for one to add to their itinerary.

Lake Bemidji Bed & Breakfast photo courtesy of Visit Bemidji. Jill Beardsley and breakfast photos courtesy of Lake Bemidji Bed & Breakfast

18

LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

For a welcoming experience, travelers can look toward Lake Bemidji Bed & Breakfast as a place to rest for their stay. Locally owned and operated, the bed and breakfast is situated in one of the most convenient parts of the city, just across from Lake Bemidji.

Jill Beardsley, owner and host of Lake Bemidji Bed & Breakfast, has found many things to appreciate in the area since she moved to the quaint community in 2016.

“It’s very quiet. And when I first moved here, you kind of forget that Bemidji is going on behind you because all you really do see is the lake. Unless you want to walk downtown,” Beardsley says.

The wonderful location is not even the most impressive aspect of the bed and breakfast. Beardsley has put time and effort into making the lodge home away from home and has empathetically considered the visitor’s needs in every layer of the bed and breakfast.

“I think the biggest compliment that I’ve ever received is that they had everything that they needed. So, I tried to just make it be that it’s my home also. Our home is separate from the guest area, but I just tried to make it feel like if I was traveling, everything I could possibly want is available. We do have an upstairs kitchen that is the guests’ only, and also an upstairs living area, which is a shared space as well, with just the guests. And it also has workout equipment and TV and just everything you could possibly need. Hopefully, I have it, and if I don’t, then I’ll probably get it for you,” Beardsley says.

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The lodging is perfect for anyone because of the attentive nature of Beardsley and her husband, Dick Beardsley, to make the guest feel at home. The unique quality of the bed and breakfast is the way that the guest is considered from the moment of booking to the end of the visit. If a guest wants a specific roast of coffee, flowers and chocolate ordered to the room, a glass of wine, or a delicious homemade breakfast, they are sure to be accommodated.

Because of the layout of the space, it is the perfect environment for a roomy stay for a couple or a fun gathering of friends. Guests have the entire upstairs to enjoy and relax in. In addition to this, Beardsley can offer recommendations for those interested in some places to explore.

“I’ve got, you know, all the restaurants that they can go to. We go over all of that. I always make sure they know what they want to do, or tell them, you know, Itasca State Park is 30 minutes from here, 45 minutes. There’s a winery very close. Downtown is super fun for shopping. The state park is really close. Golf is really close. I get a lot of people that come in and cycle for cycling. You just walk out of my house and you’re on the trail,” Beardsley says.

Lake Bemidji Bed and Breakfast is the place people go when they want to really find a home away from home. Jill and her husband take special care to provide guests with a wonderful experience.

Bemidji offers more than picturesque landscapes and fresh air, the small town provides comfort, history, community, and plenty of memories to be made.

To plan the perfect wedding or visit, take a look at the website www.visit bemidji.com.

For more information about Lake Bemidji Bed and Breakfast or to book a stay visit the website www.lakebemidjibandb.com. 

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19

OUR SCENE | FALL LOVE & MARRIAGE

The Bakken Museum — Married to Experience and Exemplifying ‘Love is Love’

BY NATASHA DELION

On the west shore of Lake Bde Maka Ska lies The Bakken Museum, a Tudor and Gothic-style mansion that houses science, technology and humanities exhibits. Just upstairs from those exhibits lies a beautiful rooftop terrace that transforms into a weekend wedding venue.

Hidden on the rooftop’s side is a nature-filled space with a gazebo in the center garnished with flowers and plants. Behind that lies a koi pond surrounded by hedges, and a room that connects the two rooftop spaces, embellished with stained glass and carved wooden trimmings. Almost every weekend, the space fills with rows of white chairs for family and friends to celebrate a couple’s special day.

When you rent The Bakken for a wedding, you’re renting the entire facility, not just the rooftop, allowing you to host inside or out and adjust based on weather conditions, according to Chris Lundeen, the director of facilities, operations and rentals at The Bakken.

“We don’t really rent rooms here because you can get that anywhere, it’s mostly the experience piece of it that is something magical or it’s just different,” he says. “The way the space lays out and talks to people, it’s quite a different kind of venue.”

Clients often come in with just the right touch to pull together the space and know what will make it special for them, says Lundeen.

“Whether it’s building a small arch in front of the gazebo where they’re going to get married or how they actually do their tables, a lot of these folks are blending things with [the space],” he says.

Lundeen says he and his staff take the time to learn who their clients are by forming strong bonds and creating a safe environment for all couples.

“I think we’re a good safe haven for people,” he says. “Once they walk through here, they get a nice vibe that they’ll be taken care of.”

Weddings at The Bakken can be intimate or have up to about 120 people. You’re not required to purchase food and drinks from the museum, which Lundeen says provides an open canvas for people to plan how they want to.

“It provides a lot of flexibility for people who want different kinds of ethnic foods and things like that,” he says. “We really want to work with clients to create a special day for them.”

The museum holds weddings about 14 to 18 weekends per season, and about a third of them are LGBTQ+ weddings, according to Lundeen.

Alongside creating a welcoming environment through their staff, Alex Askew, vice president of philanthropy at The Bakken, says the museum has done a lot of equity and diversity work internally and through their programs. One of their most popular events is Discovery Day, a family event that spotlights women in science.

CREATING SAFE SPACES FOR 175 YEARS “We’ve really tried to pay attention and put our resources towards the communities that aren’t necessarily being served by the existing structures,” Askew says. “We were doing queer weddings here before it was even legal, in certain ways.”

The outdoor spaces are a huge draw for weddings at The Bakken, but Askew says people like knowing that the money goes back to the museum.

“It’s a beautiful space and they fall in love with that, but then they also feel really good about putting those resources towards a nonprofit like us,” he says.

The Bakken is community-based and partners with other organizations to host events and display exhibits such as a collaboration with The Show Art Gallery, which works to connect artists of all abilities and build accessibility in the arts.

After the COVID-19 pandemic, they hosted community theater with Open Eye Theater on the rooftop, allowing for reconnection after being stuck at home for so long.

“For about three years we did a different show and ran that for 14 nights in the spring and it was just wonderfully received,” Lundeen says.

Lundeen has done weddings at The Bakken since the early ‘90s, but he says his favorite ones are when somebody can make it personal and avoid overdoing it. He recalled a small 25-person wedding they hosted after COVID-19 where the bride kept it simple, humble and personal.

“It was so beautifully done, she had all these menus and all these personal touches,” he says. “When it was all done, I was like ‘God, that was a home run.’ It was kind of just perfect and everybody had a great time.”

Many people who get married there hold sentimental value with the museum, including a couple that returned 25 years after their wedding. Lundeen and Askew say the couple came back 25 years to the date and recreated pictures from when they got married.

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21

OUR SCENE | FALL LOVE & MARRIAGE

BY SPENCER WHITE

LGBTQ+ Parental Rights Challenged, Upheld in Minnesota

Sperm donors can deliver the dream of family for those who can’t conceive otherwise — especially LGBTQ+ families. But when known sperm donors decide years later they want parental rights, that dream can quickly become a waking nightmare.

That is precisely what happened to Juli and Catherine Sheridan.

When the Sheridans decided they were ready to be parents about seven years ago, they chose a close friend of Catherine’s as their sperm donor.

Chris Edrington, who officiated the couple’s wedding in 2017, agreed to be their donor.

A large part of the decision to go with a known sperm donor was the cost. The average vial of sperm costs anywhere between $470 to $2,420, according to Cryos International.

“If we were a straight couple, we wouldn’t have to pay any money to have a kid, so let’s try to have a kid without paying any money,” Juli says.

The Sheridans say knowing their child’s genetic history and being honest with their child about their background is also extremely important.

Photo courtesy of Julianna & Catherine Sheridan

22 LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

“We wanted someone that was a known sperm donor, that would have a relationship with the child,” Juli says. “And really, no matter who we would have chosen as a donor, we knew that Chris was going to be a part of this child’s life because he was such a significant part of our life, which also is why it just felt very natural to ask him.”

Edrington babysat every Tuesday and remained close with the Sheridans, at least for a while.

Around 2021, Edrington began posting on social media with the child, and people would comment referencing him as the father. This didn’t sit right with the Sheridans. Edrington knew from the beginning he would not be a parent, but he seemed reluctant to publicly correct those who thought he was.

Juli says Edrington filed suit for partial custody on a Friday, just three days after babysitting. Edrington usually stuck around to chat for a bit when the Sheridans got home, but Juli says he was less talkative that day.

“I was like, ‘Oh, that’s kind of weird that he didn’t come in or say hi or anything,’” Juli says. “But then again, I’m like, maybe he’s got somewhere to go or whatever. And then, on Friday, we got the lawsuit.”

Catherine says it was a complete betrayal. Edrington never brought it up to the couple before filing suit.

“I thought he was my best friend,” Catherine says. “It was completely out of the blue.”

The Sheridans hired Mary Pat Byrn as their attorney, who tried to get the case dismissed. This was denied, and the Sheridans brought on Erica Holzer to fight the case in the court of appeals. They say they couldn’t be more thankful for their queer legal team.

“We just really got screwed into this situation and got like the worst District Judge possible, I feel like, but thankfully, the court of appeals were able to correct all of her mistakes,” Juli says.

According to Holzer, Edrington tried to prove his paternity of the child in family court, which is an absurd argument in a case where you have agreed to be a sperm donor. The court of appeals decided that using genetic testing to establish parental rights in this case was incorrect.

“Parentage is supposed to be automatic. It’s supposed to be seamless, you know, it’s supposed to be intuitive,” Holzer says.

Juli says, if they could go back, the couple would have made a written donor agreement rather than relying on a verbal one. She says the written agreement may not have changed much, but it would have been some nice peace of mind during their legal proceedings.

Holzer says the Sheridans were largely protected under the Minnesota Parentage Act. The Minnesota Parentage Act protects presumptive parents and establishes them as guardians unless otherwise challenged. This protected Juli’s rights, as the biological mother. Now, because same-sex marriage is legal and the Act assumes gender-neutral language, Catherine is also a presumptive parent because she is Juli’s partner.

Holzer says that, even though there is this presumption within the act, a co-parent adoption in these cases would be useful in making parental rights concrete.

“Because then you’ve got a court order,” Holzer says. “It’s no longer in the presumption land, it’s in court order land where you’ve got a court order that has declared the birth mother and her spouse to be the two legal parents.”

The Sheridans say support from their community and GoFundMe helped them through this long process. Their GoFundMes raised around $30,000.

“What’s most upsetting, and especially now that we won the appeal, is that we shouldn’t have gone through this,” Juli says. “The laws were clear as they were written, and really all we were doing was asking the courts to uphold the laws that were already in place.” 

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23

OUR LIVES | FINANCE & YEAR-END GIVING

BY JEN PEEPLES-HAMPTON

When It Takes a Village, It Takes a Village: PFund Foundation’s Approach to Community Support

In a society where many are challenged on their beliefs, vision and purpose, it can be extremely difficult to navigate through those waters. But it is known that the best sailors are those who have conquered not only the rain but also the unpredictability of the tides. Sailors are those who have strong self-efficacy and aren’t afraid to lead and support others toward their end goals. Lavender Magazine had the unique opportunity to sit down with a village that is full of community-sailors. Meet the PFund Foundation.

The PFund Foundation is a philanthropy initiative that focuses its efforts on supporting the LGBTQ+ community through grants, scholarships, and a variety of other funds. Aaron Zimmerman, executive director of the PFund Foundation, gave insight from his experience as a former development director and how it positioned him to continue to carry the organization: “I have an opportunity to help steer the ship and work with the community to figure out what our priorities are and where we need to fund and how we need to fund.”

The emphasis on the village shouldn’t be overlooked. The PFund Foundation is LGBTQ+-community-led and is also funded by the community. Zimmerman mentioned that for there to be a revolution, it needs to be funded. A special revolution led by this organization has brought in over a million dollars in donations at the state legislative level. This speaks to the strength of the PFund Foundation’s influence in the community and how well it connects with people. He also pointed out, “What keeps us relevant and important to the community is the way in which we give away money.”

There is a special process in how the PFund Foundation allocates funds along with submitting an application. What makes it special is that applicants must be in the neighboring areas of Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, North Dakota or South Dakota or of the First Nations. These upper Midwest areas are trailblazers with sights set towards the lighthouse of opportunities for those in need of community support for Scholarship Funds, the PRISM Fund, the Equity Fund, the Readiness and Resilience Fund, the Bisexual+ Fund, and the Event Sponsorship.

The Moxie Awards is also another special avenue in how the PFund Foundation makes selections of awardees. This event gives the community insight into how their donations are going to meaningful causes and highlights how the community’s donations have made a huge impact. Awardees are invited back to speak on their journey and how they have been successful with the help and aid of the village.

The life work of the PFund Foundation is inspiring as well as impactful as they have redefined how Mountains can be moved. For example, in the 2022-23 PRISM Fund Pilot Program Progress Report, it is stated that there were over 15 general operating grants that totaled $125,000 to the Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, North Dakota, South Dakota, or First Nations rural areas serving queer organizations.

PRISM stands for Promoting Rural Interconnections for Sexual Minorities.

All this to say, there is a mission to keep the Upper Midwest LGBTQ+ rural areas in network and fellowship. Zimmerman spoke on the importance of closing the gap in communities through interacting with donors. He says that “speaking in front of the community, one of the best tactics that people who are anti-LGBTQ; whether they’re homophobic or transphobic, have some other ulterior motive. The strategy that they use to keep us down, to prevent us from living full, authentic, fabulous lives is isolation.” He closed by expressing that there is an instinct to be persistent to overcome those barriers through the PFund Foundation.

Although beliefs may be challenged, vision may seem blurred, and purpose skewed — the PFund Foundation intentionally sees the marginalized. They actively listen to the voiceless and give unrelenting hope to the hope-seeking. Not all superheroes wear capes, but in this case, the cape of affirmation and cloak of assurance is the calm to many storms that LGBTQ+ in the Upper Midwest often face.

The PFund Foundation relies heavily on community donations and in turn has actively changed the lives of individuals and businesses. If you would like to donate or support the groundbreaking movement, please visit the website listed below to learn more!  PFund www.pfundfoundation.org

PFund Foundation Small Business Grantee Sayge Carroll (Mudluck Pottery) with Lt Gov. Flanagan at Pride Leaders Roundtable. PFund Foundation members out in the community. Photos courtesy of Aaron Zimmerman

24 LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

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OUR LIVES | FINANCE & YEAR-END GIVING

ADVERTORIAL

For Children’s Minnesota, a nonprofit, donations power the health care kids deserve.

When someone you love is sick, you just want to make it better. Especially when it’s a child. That’s what donations do at Children’s Minnesota.

Philanthropic support of this nonprofit health system, the only one in the state devoted entirely to children, makes things better — not just for kids in the hospital but for all children, their families and their communities.

Donations make possible the highly specialized and made-just-for-kids health care but also the support services that help families stay strong when they need it most. That includes programs that never show up on a bill — like child life specialists, interpreter services, social work, music therapy, art therapy, financial assistance and more.

Donations provide all the little things that help a child smile when they’re in the hospital. And the big things, like cutting-edge technology and innovation — the kind that saves lives.

Five ways donations make a difference No child is turned away

Philanthropy ensures that every child who comes to Children’s Minnesota gets the best care, regardless of their ability to pay. Nearly half of patients rely on Medicaid, which reimburses only 70 cents for every $1 of services. Donations cover the rest, which adds up to millions of dollars every year.

Stress and fears are eased

Through the work of child life specialists, music therapists and other professionals, Children’s Minnesota eases the stress young people may feel in the hospital. They help kids understand their medical procedures and therapies by providing fun, engaging activities. Their team promotes healthy methods of emotional expression, encouraging patients to channel their feelings through play, dialogue and art.

Last year, Children’s Minnesota hired its first medical dog, Riggs, a 2-year-old lab/retriever mix serving patients at their St. Paul hospital. More than a therapy dog, Riggs has undergone extensive training to help patients reach their medical goals. Devoting a full 40 hours a week, the gentle, intuitive dog is often called in to help patients cope during procedures, ease their breathing, or show them how to take their medicine. Donations make it possible.

26 LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

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Children’s Minnesota has financial counselors, social workers and chaplains on hand to help parents find relief from the stress of having a child needing serious medical care. Interpreters speak more than 70 languages, and bilingual care advocates walk alongside non-Englishspeaking families throughout their journey, ensuring their child has equitable, just and compassionate care.

Pediatric experts advocate for a brighter future for all children

Every day decisions are made — in the legislature and throughout the community — that affect health and health care for children. But kids don’t always have a voice in those discussions. Children’s Minnesota calls attention to those health issues that have an impact on young people and families, advocating for the wellbeing of every child, including LGBTQ+ kids that come to us for the welcoming, inclusive and equitable care they deserve.

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27

OUR LIVES | SENIOR LIVING

BY SHANE LUECK

Operatic Excellence at Every Age Debra Gilroy and her friends shared a similar experience: a slowdown in the number of roles they were offered as they aged. After a gathering in Gilroy’s living room, they decided there was a need for an opera company showcasing seasoned artists over the age of 55.

“Even though we were still studying voice, we were teaching voice, we were highly involved in everything, we weren’t being hired anymore,” Gilroy says. “It just got to be really depressing. It got to be really demoralizing.”

Following that meeting, Gilroy founded Raison D’Être Opéra as a 501(c)(3) in 2019, but the official launch was put off due to COVID-19. Delayed but not to be denied, Gilroy and her partners continued to work behind the scenes to bring the company to life and just completed their first full season.

“There’s such a hunger for excellence in the arts and for creative programming [in the Twin Cities],” Gilroy says, adding that there is already an audience for productions performed by older artists with PRIME Productions and Theatre 55.

“I didn’t want to duplicate something that already existed,” she says. “But we didn’t have anything for classical music. We didn’t have anything for opera or classical singing. I thought this is a great dovetail opportunity because those two organizations are really well attended and supported, and I felt this was a missing link.”

While the company’s mission statement is for singers 55 and older, some operas require younger members in the cast. This allows for mentoring opportunities, an initiative Gilroy says they will continue pursuing.

As performers audition, they specify which types of productions and roles they would be interested in. When casting for a recital, concert, or full production, those preferences come into play.

“We then will go through those to see, okay, this person indicated they wanted to be chorus only, they didn’t want a solo role. Or this person really wants a principal role and they’re not interested in chorus,” Gilroy explains. “So then we’ll look through those to see how we can best fit the needs of the person to our needs as a company.”

Up until now, Gilroy admits, Raison D’Être Opéra has gone through auditions in a very traditional way, but she is very open to finding singers that may not fit the conventional mold.

“There are so many singers out there that are fantastic [at] 55-plus and at the same time might not think they are candidates for this type of organization because they don’t have the official training background,” she says. “Just because you haven’t gone someplace and gotten a degree in it, or just because you haven’t been cast in opera productions for the past 30 years, you’ve done other things that are equally as important and awesome.”

Production of “The Village Singer.” Photos courtesy of Debra Gilroy

28 LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

She mentions those who have done community theater or have a background in producing, among other creative outlets, including a student who performs cabaret. Gilroy adds, “That area of performers that wouldn’t necessarily typically think of this as an opportunity for them.

But it really is, because it’s about the music and it’s about having that really fully released acoustic voice. And that’s classical singing — a fully released acoustic voice. And that’s what we’re looking for.”

Aside from the size and budget of an opera, the message behind it can also drive the company’s desire to produce it. “What’s going on in the world, in our world, in our city, and [we] try to find relevant pieces,” Gilroy says, referencing the women’s rights topic of next year’s “The Mother of Us All.” “Or, on the flip side of that, how do you take something that’s been written a long time ago and how do you make that relevant for today? When you look back at some of these more traditional operas, a lot of these operas still have content that is easily translatable to what’s going on in today’s society.”

According to Gilroy, audiences can expect to see unparalleled joy both on and off stage.

“Like any experience of anybody on stage, we’re always bringing our best to the front,” she says. “Then, taking it one step further, here are people coming to the stage that were thinking, ‘I didn’t think I’d be able to do this again.’ And, yet, here they are, and they’re successful and it’s bringing them so much joy and so much passion and so much excitement.”

She continues, “These are people that this has been their life. It’s something that they’ve worked with forever and they still have so much more to offer. These people are singing at the top of their game. They have lots of experience.

And I’m just so thrilled that the company is now able to offer these people these types of opportunities.” 

Age with dignity in a welcoming environment Located on scenic Cedar Lake, Jones-Harrison respects and embraces each resident as an individual while making every effort to meet physical, emotional, spiritual, and cognitive needs. Join a welcoming community that celebrates wholeness, dignity, and self-expression.

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INDEPENDENT LIVING | ASSISTED LIVING | MEMORY CARE | LONG TERM CARE | REHAB

We Are Aging Connect with local resources: Medicare | Financial help | Housing Legal help | Services The Senior LinkAge Line® is a free statewide service of the Minnesota Board on Aging in partnership with Minnesota’s area agencies on aging.

800-333-2433 LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

29

OUR HOMES | OUR RIDES

BY RANDY STERN

An Affordable (And Fun) Buick?!?

When you think of the word “Buick,” what comes to mind?

Demographically speaking, it used to be where older drivers would go for their vehicles. The average age for a Buick was so high, it fostered some bad ageist jokes.

Those jokes no longer exist at General Motors’ premium brand of SUVs and crossovers. Everyone at the Buick brand was told to find ways to lower its average consumer age and attract a younger buyer.

This is what they came up with — an affordable and practical Buick. They call it the Envista.

Before I get into the Buick Envista, a little context is in order.

It used to be that Buick was the “doctor’s car” or the “banker’s car.” A respectable, mid-priced automobile that showed everyone in town who’s an important person to know.

In the 1950s, Buick got caught up in a price war with the rest of the automotive industry. It came down to an advertising campaign that touted its lowest-priced Buick as just a few dollars more than the most expensive Chevrolet. In a thriving economy, that made sense. And, that helped Buick to become the fourth-best-selling brand in 1955.

Things have changed in 69 years. Buick went through a superiority complex as their vehicles were priced between Oldsmobile and Cadillac. They offered luxuries that were optional on every Chevrolet. Even as they downsized their models, they still offered an air of near-luxury that was still luxurious.

Did I mention they built one of the most desirable performance cars of the 1980s?

After losing most of its sales to other premium brands, Buick knew it had to do something. Their popularity in China was fine, but what about its home market where the brand’s image mattered most?

To take all of this and create something a lot of people would buy — including younger consumers new to the brand — the Buick Envista was introduced a year ago. The result was a spike in sales in the face of the slow supply of the vehicle. They saw their average age demographic lowered by almost a generation.

Photos by Randy Stern

30 LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

Which is where we pick up the story.

To be honest, the Envista is hard to describe. I was told not to call it a “hatchback.” It is a crossover … or, perhaps a small coupe SUV. Whichever you classify it, the Envista is a vehicle that will lure the younger consumers Buick wants.

The Envista’s design was fashioned into a sleek fastback-like exterior.

The roofline is complemented with the newest Buick design cues that were just introduced in the recent Wildcat EV concept vehicle. The split front end is complimented by a large chromed lower grille, a pair of discreet LED headlamp units next to the grille, a slim set of LED turn signal/daytime running lights and the new Buick logo.

The tail end integrated a rear spoiler to the hatchback. A set of vertical LED tail lamps, along with the new logo and badging compliment a handsome rear end. On the Preferred tester, a set of 17-inch alloy wheels complemented the overall design. The Envista’s exterior keeps to its premium brand roots without any clues from its sticker price.

Stepping inside its most affordable trim, it simply looks premium. Nothing over the top, but just a cut above its price point. The fully digital instrumentation cluster is minimalist but customizable. The controls are tactile and easy to use, including the shifter on the center console.

In the middle of the dashboard is an 11-inch infotainment touchscreen that hosts plenty of vehicle functions along with connectivity options. Wireless smartphone mirroring is included in the Preferred trim level. Playback is pretty good with only six speakers emitting sound throughout the cabin.

The Preferred’s cloth seats were comfortable. The front seats provided plenty of support for any type of driving. Rear seat space was not bad for average adults, but headroom was limited due to the sloping roofline. In terms of cargo space, you get 20.7 cubic feet behind the rear seats. With the rear seats folded down, the space expands to 42.0 cubic feet.

Underneath the Envista’s hood is a 137-horsepower 1.2-liter turbocharged three-cylinder engine that puts down 162 pound-feet of torque. It is connected

to a six-speed automatic transmission sending power to the front wheels.

This is perhaps the right driveline for this vehicle. It gets up to speed without any issues, with its smooth-shifting transmission.

It also cruises quite nicely on the highway. As for fuel economy, the Environmental Protection Agency recorded that the Envista can turn in an average of 30 MPG on a combined loop.

The driving experience in the Envista was much better than you might expect in an affordable Buick. Ride quality is good, exhibiting a smooth experience on the highway.

Through rougher road surfaces, the Envista did well in managing them. Cornering and maneuverability were well-managed and easy to deal with. Add Quiet Tuning to the mix, and you have a Buick.

The steering system was also very good with a sharp turning radius using its shorter length to its advantage. On-center feel felt solid when keeping within the lane. Braking is also good with an overall solid pedal feel.

We experienced solid stops in normal and panic situations.

As far as pricing is concerned, this 2024 Buick Envista Preferred tester came with a sticker price of $26,475. You read that right: This was a well-equipped Buick priced under $30,000. If you’re looking ahead, pricing for the 2025 Envista starts at $23,700 and you have three trim levels to choose from. Even the luxurious Avenir starts below $30,000!

When I first encountered the Buick Envista, everyone I spoke to apologized for not having one around to even look at. GM slowly started delivering them through the first of this year. These days, you’ll be lucky to find one on the lot. In some places, they do not have anything “in transit” showing on their inventory.

If you are one of the lucky ones to get a Buick Envista — congratulations! If you’re trying to find one — when you do, covet it with your life! That is how hot this Buick is. 

Make sure your house is Minnesota ready

2536 Marshall Street NE Minneapolis Monday-Friday: 7am-5pm Saturday: 8am-4pm

612-781-3333

4330 Nicollet Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55409

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31

COMMUNITY CONNECTION Community Connection brings visibility to local LGBTQ-friendly non-profit organizations.

To reserve your listing in Community Connection, email advertising@lavendermagazine. com.

ANIMAL RESCUE

Second Chance Animal Rescue

Dedicated to rescuing, fostering, caring for, and adopting out dogs and cats into forever homes.

P.O. Box 10533 White Bear Lake, MN 55110 (651) 771-5662 www.secondchancerescue.org

BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS

Quorum

Minnesota's LGBTQ+ and Allied Chamber of Commerce working to build, connect, and strengthen for a diverse business community.

2446 University Ave. W., Ste 112 St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 460-8153 www.twincitiesquorum.com

ENVIRONMENT

The Nature Conservancy

TNC is an environmental nonprofit working to create a world where people and nature thrive.

1101 W. River Pkwy., Ste. 200 Minneapolis, MN 55415-1291 (612) 331-0700 minnesota@tnc.org www.nature.org/minnesota

EVENT VENUES

Landmark Center

A classic venue, with a grand cortile and beautiful courtrooms, accommodates celebrations of all sizes.

75 W. 5th St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 292-3228 www.landmarkcenter.org

GRANTMAKERS/FUNDERS PFund Foundation

PFund is the LGBTQ+ community foundation that provides grants to students and grants to non-profits.

PO Box 3640 Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 870-1806 www.pfundfoundation.org

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Aliveness Project

Community Center for individuals living with HIV/AIDS – on-site meals, food shelf, and supportive service.

3808 Nicollet Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55102 (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org

Family Tree Clinic We're a sliding fee sexual health clinic and education center, now in Minneapolis.

1919 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis MN 55403 (612) 473-0800 www.familytreeclinic.org

32 LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

Keane Sense of Rhythm

Celebrate your true self with Tap dance!

1st week free, Join us now!

2161 University Avenue W., Ste. 117 St. Paul, MN. 55114 (612) 251-4744 info@tapcompany.org www.tapcompany.org

NAMI Minnesota

(National Alliance on Mental Illness) Providing free classes and peer support groups for people affected by mental illnesses.

1919 University Ave. W., Ste. 400 St. Paul, MN 55104 (651) 645-2948 www.namimn.org

Red Door Clinic

HIV and STI screening, treatment, education, and referrals. Doxy PEP, nPEP, PrEP, and Reproductive Health.

525 Portland Ave., 4th Fl. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 543-5555 reddoor@hennepin.us www.reddoorclinic.org

LIBRARIES

Quatrefoil Library

Your LGBTQ+ library and community center. Free membership, events, and e-books/audiobooks. Check us out!

1220 E. Lake St. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 729-2543 www.qlibrary.org

MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS

Radio K

Radio K is the award-winning studentrun radio station of the University of Minnesota.

330 21st. Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55455 (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org

MUSEUM

Minnesota Historical Society

Create your own adventure at MNHS historic sites and museums around Minnesota. mnhs.org

Minneapolis Institute of Art

Enjoy masterpieces from all over the world & every period of human history.

Free admission daily!

2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 870-3000 www.artsmia.org

Walker Art Center

Showcasing the fresh, innovative art of today and tomorrow through exhibitions, performances, and film screenings.

725 Vineland Pl. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 375-7600 www.walkerart.org

PERFORMING ARTS

Chanhassen Dinner Theatres

The nation's largest professional dinner theater and Minnesota's own entertainment destination.

501 W. 78th St. Chanhassen, MN 55317 (952) 934-1525 www.ChanhassenDT.com

Children’s Theatre Company

Children’s Theatre Company excites the imagination with world-class family-friendly theatre for kids, teens, and adults.

2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 874-0400 www.childrenstheatre.org

Guthrie Theater

Open to the public year-round, the Guthrie produces classic and contemporary plays on three stages.

818 S. 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org

St. Philip's Lutheran Church

We invite and welcome those of every spiritual background, ethnicity, gender orientation, or economic situation.

6180 Hwy 65 Fridley, MN 55432 (763) 571-1500 www.splcmn.org

University Baptist Church

Minnesota Opera

Creating safe and inclusive spaces for 175 years, UBC stands proudly with our LGBTQ+ family.

1219 University Ave. SE Minneapolis, MN 55414 (612) 331-1768 www.ubcmn.org

Minnesota Orchestra

An open and affirming congregation, welcoming persons of all sexual orientations, gender expressions and identities.

1200 Marquette Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 332-3421 www.westminstermpls.org

World-class opera draws you into a synthesis of beauty; breathtaking music, stunning costumes & extraordinary sets.

Performances at the Ordway Music Theater - 345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (612) 333-6669 www.mnopera.org Led by Music Director Designate Thomas Søndergård, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras.

1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 371-5656, (800) 292-4141 www.minnesotaorchestra.org

Ordway Center for the Performing Arts

Leading performing arts center with two stages presenting Broadway musicals, concerts & educational programs that enrich diverse audiences.

345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 224-4222 info@ordway.org www.ordway.org

Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus

An award-winning chorus building community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for!

1430 W. 28th St., Ste. B Minneapolis, MN 55408 (612) 339-SONG (7664) chorus@tcgmc.org www.tcgmc.org

RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL

All God’s Children Metropolitan Community Church

A welcoming, inclusive, safe place to explore and discover God’s love for ALL God’s children.

3100 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 824-2673 www.agcmcc.org

Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church

Everyone is welcome at Hennepin Church! Vibrant Worship. Authentic Community. Bold Outreach.

511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-5303 www.hennepinchurch.org

Plymouth Congregational Church

Many Hearts, One Song; Many Hands, One Church. Find us on Facebook and Twitter.

1900 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-7400 www.plymouth.org

Westminster Presbyterian Church

SENIOR LIVING Friends & Co

Fostering meaningful connections for older adults for 50+ years. Offering quick drop-in chat line, phone & visiting companionship services.

2550 University Ave. W., Ste. 260-S St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 721-1400 www.friendsco.org

Lyngblomsten Community Services

Empowering older adults to live well at home through caregiver support, memory-loss enrichment, & wellness education.

1415 Almond Ave. St. Paul, MN 55108 (651) 632-5330 www.Lyngblomsten.org/CommunityServices

Senior Community Services

Providing non-medical services that meet the changing needs of older adults & support their caregivers.

10201 Wayzata Blvd., Ste. 335 Minnetonka, MN 55305 (952) 541-1019 www.seniorcommunity.org/lav

SOCIAL SERVICES

Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota

Serving all Minnesotans with personcentered services that promote full and abundant lives. lssmn.org | (651) 642-5990 | (800) 582-5260 Employment Opportunities | lssmn.org/careers PICS (Partners in Community Supports) | picsmn.org Pooled Trust | (888) 806-6844 Supported Decision-Making | (888) 806-6844

TRAVEL DESTINATIONS Westopolis

Minnesota’s Sweet Spot! Visit us for exceptional dining, attractions, shopping, hotels and event space.

1660 Hwy 100 S., Ste. 501 St. Louis Park, MN 55416 (952) 426-4047 www.westopolis.org

THE NETWORK Locally Owned & Operated Since 1950

Estimates 7am-4:30pm

Account Executive. Lavender Media is seeking to add a Twin Cities based full time Account Executive to our sales team. We are looking for an outgoing, organized, self-driven & motivated professional with excellent phone, writing and presentation skills. Candidates should enjoy working directly with clients who are interested in growing their business through Lavender advertising and event sponsorships. Candidates must be local. Compensation: $1,500 base + commission every issue (two weeks) and an employee benefits package that includes group health, dental, life insurance and LTD. Applicants should have experience with Mac software environment, Excel, Word, social media platforms & database software such as Filemaker Pro. They should exhibit an elevated level of organization, attention to detail, the ability to work as part of a team, effective communication, self direction, enjoys working with new people and has a natural drive to grow. Please send your cover letter and resume to stephen.rocheford@lavendermagazine.com

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33

OUR VOICES | BAD GAY

BY LAKEY BRIDGE

Episode 12 I don’t like zombies. I mostly hate them because they’re a terribly lazy plot device. Don’t know what to do with a character? Turn them into a zombie so that they can cause destruction without conscience and never die. Much easier to introduce an indestructible, wordless, soulless creature than to develop a character who has to navigate this ridiculous world.

Isn’t life dangerous enough without introducing zombies into the picture?

I have zombies on my mind because I got into an argument with a stranger about them this weekend. I was at a bar and grill for dinner alone and sat at the bar. I had just had a fight with my spouse — that I instigated — and was feeling emotional. I needed some superficial human contact to remind myself that I’m not a monster. So, when I ordered a beer and the bartender casually asked how I was, I burst into tears and sobbed, “I’m fine. I’m fine.” The bartender seemed unconvinced. He quickly served me a beer, took my dinner order and scurried to the other side of the bar to get distance from the scary lady who was literally crying into her beer.

What was the fight about? Well, after 8 years of marriage, what wasn’t it about? The fight took place only 48 hours ago and I can’t remember what I was so mad about. I have a vague memory Photo courtesy of BigStock/Wavebreak Media

34 LAVENDER OCTOBER 31-NOVEMBER 13, 2024

that it was in response to a mild criticism about my splashing water on the bathroom sink. This triggered a fury of far worse marital crimes my spouse has committed over the years — followed by me storming out in righteous indignation.

I drove around for an hour, pulling over to the side of the road occasionally to fire off a series of angry texts. Because having a temper tantrum, followed by an avalanche of hysterical texts and disappearing for hours has always worked so well in resolving past conflicts.

So, there I was at the bar — in a snit and staring at my phone, waiting for my spouse to text and apologize to me for my horrible behavior. But, instead, like a zombie, she remained wordless — a supernatural, silent specter that I can’t vanquish with my arsenal of curses and spite.

A few chairs down the bar sat a guy speaking very loudly to a couple next to him. The couple was clearly uncomfortable and it didn’t surprise me when they made a thin excuse to get away from him and find a table in the restaurant. And it also didn’t surprise me when, denied a captive audience, he surveyed the bar for his next target.

I focused on my phone, hoping that my refusal to feed his attention would force him to find someone else to shower with an avalanche of nonsense.

But nope! He slid a few stools closer to me and

continued the lecture he was giving to the couple who escaped him.

“My wife is a zombie,” he blared. “She’s a succubus.”

“You’re confusing your monsters,” I said, still staring at my phone. I knew I shouldn’t respond to him. It would just encourage him to engage with me. But, as evidenced by my expert mishandling of an argument with my spouse, I often make poor choices that harm no one but myself. “I would think you’d enjoy being married to a succubus. A succubus would pay plenty of attention. A zombie would not.”

And that, in a nutshell, is what I hate about zombies. They don’t care about you. The only thing they want from you is to eat your life force.

They will not respond to your texts. They won’t care if you storm out of the house and go to a bar alone.

Kids, here’s an important life lesson: never get into a debate with a drunk at a bar. It will never end well. This one ended with me telling him that he has no soul for his zombie wife to consume, tossing a wad of money on the bar and marching out before my dinner arrived.

I returned home, where my spouse was waiting. After 8 years of marriage, I knew she’d be there — wordlessly waiting for me to apologize.

Once I did, she reanimated. A zombie no more. 

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