Lavender Magazine 763

Now on view Keith Haring: Art Is for Everybody is organized by The Broad, Los Angeles. The Walker Art Center’s presentation is made possible with lead support from the KHR McNeely Family Fund, thanks to Kevin, Rosemary, and Hannah Rose McNeely.

Major support is provided by Lewis Baskerville, Lisa and Pat Denzer, the Martin and Brown Foundation, the Pohlad Family, and John and Annette Whaley. Additional support is provided

by Jan Breyer, Keith Rivers, John Taft and Laura Delaney Taft, and Susan and Rob White.

Keith Haring, Tree of Life, 1985, acrylic on canvas tarpaulin with metal grommets, 115 ⅞ × 142 ½ in. Private collection. ©Keith Haring Foundation

An expansive show featuring more than 100 works from the iconic artist.

©2024 Walker Art Center

Keith ART IS FOR Haring: EVERYBODY

CONTENTS

ISSUE 763 August 22-September 4, 2024

LGBTQ Families 16 T he Minnesota State Fair Is Always The Crowning Way To Cap Off The Summer 18 The Bakken Museum Electrifies Family Days Out 20 Giving Children The Gift Of The Great Outdoors 22 A Safe Haven For Trans Kids Found In Transforming Families

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OUR LAVENDER

8 From The Editor 9 A Word in Edgewise 10 A Day In The Life: Doug Hoskins

OUR SCENE

12 The Weir: A Play in a Pub 24 Y our Labor Day Weekend Just Got An Upgrade - Head Up North for Duluth-Superior Pride

OUR AFFAIRS

28 Books

OUR LIVES

29 Everything He Knows About Love, Life, Adversity, Connection, and What Really Matters: Jerome Hager, Words of Wisdom

OUR HOMES

30 Our Rides: Elegance and Sustainability in a Volvo

OUR RESOURCES

32 Community Connection 33 The Network

ON THE COVER

Photo courtesy of Bigstock/Boonkung 22: Photo courtesy of Hannah Edwards, Director of Transforming Families, 16: Photo courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair, 29: Photo by Rachel Leighton Photography, 30: Photo by Randy Stern

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LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

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2024 HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN

MINNESOTA DINNER SEPTEMBER 21, 2024

Scan the QR code or visit

minnesota.hrc.org/events/minnesota-dinner Andrea Ramberg, Chair

Beth Mejia, Honorary Chair

Casey Nichols, Chair

Corey Smith, Honorary Chair

Human Rights Campaign dinner events are inspiring opportunities to gather together as a community, share our work with you and raise critical funds to fuel our mission. In this election year of 2024, we're fighting to protect our democracy by winning back the House of Representatives, holding onto our pro-equality majority in the Senate, and re-electing the most pro-LGBTQ+ president and vice president in history.

We’re also fighting an onslaught of anti-equality legislation in the statehouses while we work to make schools, workplaces and public spaces safe for LGBTQ+ people across the country. Only together can we expand our rights and achieve real and lasting positive change. Please join us and help us to secure equality for everyone.

When we show up, equality wins!

Volume 30, Issue 763 • August 22-September 4, 2024

EDITORIAL Managing Editor Noah Mitchell 612-461-8723 Editorial Assistant Linda Raines 612-436-4660 Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner Contributors Lakey Bridge, E.B. Boatner, Buer Carlie, Natasha DeLion, Alyssa Homeier, Terrance Griep, Elise Maren, Jen Peebles-Hampton, Linda Raines, Alexander Reed, Madison Roth, Gregg Shapiro, Randy Stern, Susan Swavely, Carla Waldemar, Todd P. Walker, Emma Walytka, Spencer White

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ADMINISTRATION Publisher Lavender Media, Inc. President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665 Chief Financial Officer Doug Starkebaum 612-436-4664 Administrative Assistant Michael Winikoff 612-436-4660 Distribution Metro Periodical Partners 612-281-3249 Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford

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Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee (1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford (1914-2006), Jonathan Halverson (1974-2010), Adam Houghtaling (1984-2012), Walker Pearce (1946-2013), Tim Campbell (1939-2015), John Townsend (1959-2019), George Holdgrafer (1951-2024) Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space, and libel.

They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will not be published.

Priority will be given to letters that refer to material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit letters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 5100 Eden Ave, Suite 107, Edina, MN 55436 or e-mail editor@lavendermagazine.com.

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LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

Entire contents copyright 2024. All rights reserved. Publication of the name or photograph of any person, organization, or business in this magazine does not reflect upon one’s sexual orientation whatsoever. Lavender® Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertising. This issue of Lavender® Magazine is available free of charge during the time period published on the cover. Pickup at one of our distribution sites is limited to one copy per person.

OUR LAVENDER | FROM THE EDITOR

BY NOAH MITCHELL

Hello and Thank You Hello, Lavender Magazine! I’m Noah Mitchell, the new managing editor. I’m looking forward to getting to know you as I help share your stories in my new role. If you’d like to get to know me as well, here’s a quick crash course on how I got here.

I’m a lifelong Minnesotan — I grew up in Rochester, then went to the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities and got a bachelor’s in journalism and political science. I still live in Minneapolis and I’m excited to start this new chapter in my home state.

Since graduating, I’ve worked for a handful of local publications and covered a variety of topics, including local government, small business and sports. You may have seen my byline in The Minnesota Daily, Racket, the Chanhassen Villager, Southwest Voices, Mpls.

St.Paul Magazine, or here at Lavender, where I wrote about the Stonewall Sports national tournament.

My main emotion as I begin this, my first position where I’ve been given a column and told to write just about whatever I’d like, is gratitude. I don’t have room to thank everyone in this column that I’d like to, but I’ll try to get as many in as I can before I get played offstage.

Thank you to my family and friends, to Stephen Rocheford for giving me this opportunity, to Randy Stern for carrying the torch before me and giving me my first chance to write at Lavender, and to Linda Raines for her work as interim managing editor and support while I get up to speed in my new role.

I also want to thank you, the readers. Without you, this magazine and the community around it couldn’t exist. I’ll do my best to maintain this wonderful thing you’ve helped build and improve it where I can.

If you have any questions, feedback, or stories you’d like to see featured in Lavender, please send me a message at managingeditor@lavendermagazine.com. If you want to say “hi” in person, I’ll be at as many First Thursdays as I can manage. (The next one is Thursday, September 5 at The Dive Sports Bar and Grill in St. Anthony.) You can also connect with me on The Platform Formerly Known As Twitter @noahjaymitchell. 

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LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

OUR LAVENDER | A WORD IN EDGEWISE

BY E.B. BOATNER

The Ladies, God Bless ‘Em*

Julia Child, Frida Kahlo, Katherine Hepburn…

So many women childless, by chance or choice, yet muddling through to lead lives of great impact.

Artists, writers, thinkers whose impact on society is ongoing.

Martha Graham, Hattie McDaniel, Georgia O’Keeffe…

Dancers, actresses, painters of renown, and the nameless others, whose singleness served ailing parents or other family needs–unheralded lives whose families couldn’t have flourished without them.

Fanny Farmer, Mary Cassatt, Emily Dickinson…

Should, every single (sic) female, as some now preach, marry and reproduce? Again and again?

Some, mostly males, think they should. So much hue and cry from the baritone section.

Sally Ride, Jane Austen, Amelia Earhart, Taylor Swift…

Shrill insistence on marriage and fecundity by fiat, yet The New York Times, July 25, drawing on research from the Pew Research Center reports a growing reticence of even the married to consider reproducing.

The bottom line; the numbers of nay-sayers reveal a 10-percent rise between 2018 and 2023 (37-47%) of those under 50 choosing not to propagate (among that group are some 64 percent of those who would be im-

pregnated, a lesser–yet substantial–50 percent of the potential inseminators.)

Helen Mirren, Marisa Tomei, Harper Lee, Annie Oakley…

However: there is a growing segment of the population eager to start a two-parent family that the strident voices are ignoring: Same-sex couples in the GLBTQ community. These couples are pushing, to little effect, for fertility equality in parenting building benefits. One lesbian couple describes a Connecticutbased insurance company that covers fertility procedures (IUI – intrauterine insemination and IVI –­ in vitro insemination) but only for heterosexual sex.

Willa Cather, Beatrix Potter, Jeannette Rankin, Stevie Nicks…

In the case of same-sex partners, both men and women are being denied the right to build a family.

Without coverage, a single IVF cycle involves three weeks to collect eggs, fertilize in lab then transfer to a uterus; some $20,000 a pop, and 12 months of out-ofpocket attempts before insurance would kick in.

Barbara Pym, Carmen Miranda, Marian Anderson…

It’s even more difficult for gay men. A surrogate and egg donation can cost $200,000. One male couple, both lawyers, found they’d never reach their insurer’s definition of “infertility,” (the thresholder qualifier for covered IVF). April 22, 2022, they filed

a class-action discrimination complaint with the Equal Employee Opportunity Commission (EEOC) seeking a nationwide order that employers must extend fertility benefits to LGBTQ employees. It’s still pending.

Florence Nightingale, Lorraine Hansberry, Marilyn Monroe…

Couples willing to pay even without insurance to be able to start and nurture a family would seem to have the best of intentions, though of course not all same-sex marriages will succeed. Still, there are no “Ooops!” moments; each child is planned and wanted.

Why insist that all women married to men must have children (plural) and stay married even when beaten?

Why not use the rhetoric and funding to support couples who want to have children?

Ladies of Llangollen, Paulette Goddard, Sandra Oh… Standing behind a growing group (more than 100,000 same-sex couples are raising kids in America today) makes more sense than demanding any spouse, female or male, stay where there is physical abuse? How will overt brutality affect their children–or does it matter as long as they submit to the exhorter’s agenda? *A Tip ‘o the hat to Helen Hokinson, cartoonist (1,800 in The New Yorker). Childless. 

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OUR LAVENDER | A DAY IN THE LIFE

BY LINDA RAINES

Doug Hoskins Where did you grow up?

I was born and raised in Iowa. I was raised on a livestock farm 30 miles west of Davenport, IA, called Bennett, IA. The small town was less than 1200 people and the high school I attended was K – 12 all in one building. My high school graduation in 1993 was 11 classmates!

Where do you live?

I live in St. Paul, MN. Who do you live with?

I live with my husband, Bruce, and our 2 cats, who are brother and sister…Loki & Dot. What is your occupation?

I am currently a student going back to school to become an RN which is a career passion of mine.

I am attending school at Rasmussen University in Bloomington, MN and currently in their accelerated Bachelor of Science in Nursing program. My graduation date is 12/20/2025! That is going to be a great Christmas present! LOL When did you come out?

I knew at around the age of 11 or 12, right around 6th grade, that I was different. In junior high and high school, I figured it out from taking a health class that I was gay. Being raised in a small farming town then, I was afraid to come out and my environment was not conducive or supportive in me being gay. I waited until my freshman year of college, 18 years old, to come out.

How’d that go?

A weight was lifted off my shoulders. I can be me and live authentically. I told myself and others that I was gay and if they didn’t like me, their loss. Being gay does not make up all of who I am, it is just one part of me. My best friend from college, Heidi, and I created the first LGB support group on a private, Catholic university! LGBTQIA was not even talked about back then. We wanted to give safe space to others who could identify with us.

When do you wake up?

Each day around 7am. Dot and Loki remind us at that time as well that they are hungry.

Phone alarm or old school alarm?

Phone alarm for both of us.

What’s the first thing you do in the morning?

Routine is…feed the kitties, clean the litter box, wash my hands & sit for coffee.

Breakfast?

Typically, no. On occasion I may have a banana, yogurt or oatmeal or we may go out for breakfast.

Photo by Larry Barthel

10 LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

Coffee?

Yes. I drink one cup of coffee each morning and that’s it. The rest of the day it is water.

Cream or no?

Heck yeah! Coffee Mate hazelnut creamer.

Yummo!

How do you spend your commute?

I listen to Spotify in the truck and love listening to music! Otherwise, mentally preparing for the school day or for an exam.

What do you nerd out for (gaming, music, histor y, etc.)?

New music Friday on Spotify!

What music have you been digging lately?

I have a few artists or bands recently that I hit repeat on such as…Primo the Alien, Kali J, Dance Yourself Clean and Sophie & The Giants. Otherwise, if I did not download any new music than I go to my favorites which are ‘80s music, Depeche Mode and Garbage.

Is your workspace tidy or a hot mess?

Tidy. I like to keep my study space clean and free of clutter.

What’s been your favorite job?

I have 2 jobs that I enjoyed up to this point in my professional career. The first was a trainer at a financial investments firm in downtown Minneapolis training colleagues on how to listen to recorded calls and how to use the call recording application. So much fun! The second was an account manager managing/supervising teammates and COVID-19 testing sites in Los Angeles County and doing that from my home in St. Paul during the pandemic. This was very rewarding for me.

Favorite weeknight meal: Go out, take out, or cook in?

We enjoy going out once or twice a week and the majority of the time we cook in. Bruce is an amazing cook and some of the dishes he whips up are soooooo good!

On a usual weeknight, you are doing what?

Studying. Not very exciting, I know. I am studying until 8pm, sometimes 8:30pm and then call it a night. I need to give my brain a break.

Bedtime?

Between 10pm – 11pm.

Favorite weekend activity?

Socializing with chosen family and friends.

What are you most proud of, and why?

I turn 50 next year and making this huge career change at mid-life is exciting and scary all at the same time. We are never too old to learn and never too old to seek out our passion in what makes us happy. I am proud of myself in pushing through this uncomfortable time and knowing that it is all well worth it in the end.

Words of wisdom to share: Life is too short not to be happy and we are never promised tomorrow. When I am with friends or chosen family, I like to toast with them and I end with saying, “Here is to friendship, love and happiness. Until next time.” 

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OUR SCENE | ARTS

BY BUER CARLIE

The Weir

A Play in a Pub Our frequent readers know that I am a sucker for immersive theater.

Yes, I love seeing plays in theaters big and small, but if audience and orchestra alike are forced to navigate the halls of the Basilica of Saint Mary for an opera, I will be smitten with that production. If theater goers are seated on poolside bleachers for the duration of a play, I might complain about a sore butt out of one side of my mouth, but you’re much more likely to hear me talk about the reverb and the smell of chlorine and that last splash when two actors hit the water as one. Whenever a play is performed in an unconventional locale – especially when that choice is made because the play is set in a similar location – I need to see that play.

So, it should come as no surprise that my interest was immediately piqued when I heard that this August, Out of the Mist Celtic Theatre is producing The Weir at two local pubs (Sweeney’s Saloon and The Local).

Theater president Lissa Miller and director Michelle Schwantes were kind enough to tell me about Out of the Mist Celtic Theatre in addition to explaining what makes The Weir so special, leaving me more excited than ever to share this production with our readers.

Out of the Mist Celtic Theatre

Out of the Mist Celtic Theatre was formed in 2019 when The Celtic Collaborative, which was founded in 2011, decided to prioritize the performing arts and rebranded as a theater company. Miller explains further, “Out of the Mist Celtic Theatre has had several incarnations but the most recent, post-pandemic creation has centered on full length plays. We select plays that balance our season between standards and new material, always Photo by Laurelie MacKenzie. Logo by Emma Rose Miller

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LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

focusing on Celtic playwrights.” In the last two years, the company has staged plays by Oscar Wilde, Laura Lundgren Smith, Oliver Goldsmith, Marina Carr, and more.

The stories and storytellers that Out of the Mist Celtic Theatre feature reflect the hardships inherent to the human experience, always told through a Celtic lens. “In many ways, Celtic peoples have turned to literature as a manner of navigating trauma and maintaining cultural traditions,” says Schwantes. “Out of the Mist Celtic Theatre strives to explore the intersectionality of history, class, culture, religion, gender, trauma, imperialism, and poverty through the unique lens of Celtic literary tradition.”

The Weir The Weir takes place in an Irish Pub much like the Local or Sweeney’s Saloon. A group of men sidle up to the bar one by one. After some casual gossip, they pivot to their best supernatural stories, clearly trying to make an impression on the young woman at the bar who has newly moved from Dublin. Little do they know that she has a haunting story of her own.

Conor McPherson is the award-winning, Irish playwright who penned The Weir, for which he received the Laurence Olivier award for “Best New Play”. “Conor McPherson is a unique contemporary playwright in that he focuses firstly on telling a good story. His characters are relatable, and we recognize pieces of ourselves reflected back towards us,” muses Schwantes. “McPherson possesses the incredible gift of entertaining and engaging an audience at the same time.”

Continued on page 14

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OUR SCENE | ARTS The Weir is a prime example of that balance. “One of our actors has described the play as ‘a slice of life play in a country far away that expresses drama that could happen at any backyard party in Minnesota,’” says Miller.

“At its heart, this is a story about the nature of haunting,” Schwantes says. “This takes many forms. The ghosts are ever-present: the dead, the lost, the forgotten. These characters are haunted by their loved ones, regret, and the weight of history itself.”

That is not to say that the production is overwhelmingly dark, though.

Schwantes continues, “In this pub, they find hope and community. Here they can crack jokes and laugh at the darkness, eternally hovering just beyond the comforting glow of the peat fire. They are lonely, but they are not alone.”

Blurring the Line Between Audience and Actor

“Our choice to present The Weir in an Irish pub was a natural extension of the play itself,” says Miller. “Pub staff will blend with our cast and serve our audience food and beverage throughout the show. Live music prior to the performance will invite people to socialize, order dinner, and even dance. The actors will mingle with the audience and include them in the story telling.”

Schwantes agrees. “What better way to engage these unique characters, but in their natural habitat?” she asks. “This immersive type of theatre allows you to fully experience the world of the show in a natural way. The traditional barriers between audience and actor have been removed. You can have a drink with the characters, truly experience the dynamics of storytelling, and engage with a show on your own terms.”

Tickets are $20, non-inclusive of dinner and drinks, and can be reserved ahead of time on the theater’s website, listed below. Tickets will be sold at the door if the show hasn’t sold out, but seating is limited (50

seats at the Local and 40 at Sweeney’s), so booking ahead of time is recommended. Both restaurants will be ready for theater goers an hour and a half before showtime so you can settle in with a meal and the provided live music before the show begins. Drinks are available throughout the evening.

As a note, entering Sweeney’s does require using a staircase, so patrons with mobility concerns might prefer to see the show at the Local.

Schwantes hopes that audience members leave with more than just leftovers to munch on. “I enjoy creating works that serve as a starting point for discussion; that do not provide an easy answer or promote my personal opinion, but rather present an experience that engages audiences to laugh, to think, to discuss, and to learn,” says Schwantes. “I firmly trust our audiences to arrive at their own conclusions.”

Come for the delicious feeling of eavesdropping on a conversation just down the bar from you. Come for the music. Come for the food and drinks.

Come for the ghost stories. But most of all, come for a piece of modern Irish theater that will keep your group chatting into the wee hours about life and the supernatural while you pick at a dwindling basket of fish and chips and sip on the final dregs of whatever filled your pint glass.

Performances at the Local in Minneapolis (931 Nicollet Mall, Minneapolis, MN 55402) are as follows: Aug. 23 at 7:30 PM Aug. 24 at 7:30 PM Aug. 25 at 2:00 PM Performances at Sweeney’s Saloon (96 Dale St. N., St Paul, MN 55102) are as follows: Aug 29 at 7:30 PM Aug 31 at 7:30 PM Sept 1 at 2:00 PM outofthemistceltictheatre.com 

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HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H H OUR H HSCENE H H| MINNESOTA H H H HSTATE HH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FAIR BY LINDA RAINES HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THE MINNESOTA STATE FAIR IS ALWAYS THE

What is that I see circled in red and festooned with smiley faces on my calendar? Why it’s that glorious final curtain call to Minnesota’s all-too-short summer, and it’s on its way—those twelve golden days at the end of August that are the much-beloved Minnesota State Fair.

Affectionately referred to as the “Great Minnesota Get-Together”, the fair brings together thousands of people from every corner of the state in a swirling mass of humanity that has one common goal in mind— cramming as much food, fun and excitement in as they can while it lasts. From admiring prize livestock to devouring every kind of food on a stick imaginable to rocking out to great music in the Grandstand to schlepping back to their car or the transit bus with sleepy children and a bucket of Sweet Martha’s cookies in hand, it’s what so many folks look forward to all year.

Let’s face it….while there are many attractions on offer, one of the biggest anticipations is the food, and nobody does food quite like the Minnesota State Fair. After all, when you announce that you’re heading out to the Fair, what’s the first thing that your friends often ask? That’s right—“what are you planning on eating this year?” The obvious answer, of course, would be “EVERYTHING!” In addition to the tried-and-true classics such as Sweet Martha’s, mini-donuts, cheese curds, Pronto Pups, and fresh French fries, the Fair always has new and unique delights to tempt the taste buds.

Here are just a few of the newest delectable culinary tidbits awaiting you this year as you walk through the turnstiles.

Sausage Sister & Me, located in the Food Building on the east wall, will be debuting their 3 Piggy Pals On-A-Stick. Three juicy smoked sausage slices wrapped in crispy bacon, filled with a cream cheese mix and drizzled with barbeque sauce will make your taste buds dance, and the jalapeño slice on the top will give it just the right kick. Oh, and you can’t forget the obligatory stick that the State Fair is so famous for!

Easy-to-eat bites to pop into your mouth while walking along and people watching are always a treat, and The Herbivorous Butcher has you covered with their Raging Balls! These deep-fried sesame mochi dough balls are filled with a vegan cheeseburger filling, grilled onions and pickles, and topped with a bacon-flavored powered sugar. Perfect for carrying along to munch as you peruse the booths and exhibits.

The State Fair wouldn’t be the State Fair without cheese curds! Richie’s Cheese Curd Tacos has a new offering – Buffalo Cheese Curd & Chicken Tacos. Imagine a fried flour shell generously filled with fried buffalo-flavored cheese curds and chicken topped with blue cheese slaw and then drizzled with buffalo sauce. You’ll definitely be wanting seconds!

What’s more Midwest than ranch dressing?

Take it, deep fry it, and it becomes one of the State Fair’s new taste sensations! LuLu’s Public House has taken the old salad staple and added a new twist—combining ranch seasoning with buttermilk and cream cheese, putting it into a panko shell, then deep frying it and dusting it with ranch powder. Serve it up with a side of hot honey sauce made with Cry Baby Craig’s hot sauce and enjoy.

Of course, you can’t forget the delightful sweets that tempt the tastebuds. One of this year’s new foods is the Strawberries and Cream Waffle Stick offered up by the Waffle Chix. It’s a Belgian waffle filled with strawberry shortcake cookie dough and topped with whipped cream and strawberry sauce…on a stick, of course!

After filling your belly with sinfully delicious food, sitting down to digest might sound like a plan, and what could be better than taking in a concert while you do it? The Grandstand Concert Series has lined up a fantastic set of musical artists this year that should appeal to anyone’s taste.

3 Piggy Pals On-A-Stick, Becky G, Stephen Sanchez, Raging Balls, Chance the Rapper, Strawberries and Cream Waffle Stick, Buffalo Cheese Curd & Chicken Tacos. Photos courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair

22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024 H H H16HLAVENDER H HAUGUST HH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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CROWNING WAY TO CAP OFF THE SUMMER

The Great Minnesota Get Together kicks off with Becky G and special guest Los Aptos headlining the Grandstand on opening night, Thursday, August 22 at 7 PM. The first weekend of the Fair only gets more exciting as Chance the Rapper take to the stage on Friday, Nate Bargatze: The Be Funny Tour is in the spotlight on Saturday, and Blake Shelton with special guest Emily Ann Roberts round out things on Sunday.

The entertainment just keeps on rolling through the week, with Monday showcasing the Happy Together Tour 2024 featuring The Turtles, Jay and the Americans, The Association, Badfinger, The Vogues and The Cowsills and then Tuesday brings the beat with Ludacris & T-Pain.

Switching things up on Wednesday, August 28th, the Grandstand welcomes Jon Pardi and special guest MacKenzie Porter. Not exactly the groove that you’re digging? Never fear, Mötley Crüe will be rocking the Grandstand Stage on Thursday, August 29th. And if that’s not enough entertainment for you, the Matchbox Twenty with special guest Beauty School Dropout will be bounding onto the stage on Friday, August 29th. Stephen Sanchez brings his timeless sound and breezy baritone to the stage on Saturday, August 31th.

Are the exciting rides more your thing? The Fair has a multitude of thrills and chills for the whole family. The more adventurous will want to check out the Sling Shot, The Rock Climbing Wall, the Skyscraper and Turbo Bungy in Adventure Park, while the littlest family members will find laughter aplenty at Kidway, with the Kiddie Bumper Boats, Charlie Chopper, the Tilt-A-Whirl, and the Apple-Go-Round.

Of course, the Mighty Midway is always a huge draw! The Iron Dragon Roller Coaster, Music Express, Zero Gravity, Kamikaze, and others will result in screams and laughter lasting well into the night.

No trip to the Fair would be complete, though, without taking the plunge down the Giant Slide! This family-favorite has been a staple on the fairgrounds for over fifty years and promises to remain so for decades to come.

No matter your reasons for joining the happy throngs filling the streets, the Great Minnesota Get Together has something for everyone, so come on out and join in the fun. It’s twelve days of unabashed indulgence, a chance to hang out with neighbors from one corner of the state to the other before the snowflakes start to fly. It’s truly an experience that you don’t want to miss. 

Minnesota State Fair August 22 – September 2, 2024 www.mnstatefair.org

H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H HLAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM H H H H H17H H H

OUR SCENE | LGBTQ FAMILIES

BY NOAH MITCHELL

Pacemakers from the earliest version to the most recent model are on display at the Bakken.

So too are examples of the art and science that inspired Shelley to write the novel that in turn inspired Bakken.

Past the Mary & Her Monster exhibit is the Frankenstein Laboratory, a show featuring lights, sound and animatronics that tells the story of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster. Be warned, though — the show scares adults and children alike.

“The first time I watched it, I had a glass of wine and I spilled the whole thing,” Askew said.

For those whose interest was piqued by the power of electricity in Frankenstein, the next exhibit will be a treat. The Electricity Party exhibit is inspired by parties hosted by Benjamin Franklin and other scientists of his era that featured gadgets that showed off the power of static electricity. The electrostatic generator will make your hair raise, literally.

If that isn’t enough to keep the children in your life occupied, there’s more — a scavenger hunt for LEGO mini-figures hidden throughout the museum. The mini-figures represent influential scientists from many different backgrounds, places and eras. One of them is Ben Barres, a

The Bakken Museum Electrifies Family Days Out The Bakken Museum has engaging exhibits for the whole family.

As summer draws to a close and the weather gets too cold for a day at the lake, families may be looking for somewhere different to take their children or younger family members. If they’ve been at Bde Maka Ska, they don’t need to look far — the Bakken Museum is just down the road and has plenty of fun and educational activities for children and their adults alike.

For those who haven’t been to the Bakken since their fourth-grade field trip, it looks a little different now. They renovated the space between 2020 and 2022 while the museum was closed due to COVID-19 restrictions.

Just past the front entrance is the new Spark exhibit, featuring seven different interactive activities. They include the Bakkenspiel, which includes digital and physical instruments to teach the languages of both music and computers, Personal Prostheses 2.0, which has different examples of prosthetics and how they were invented, and the Bakken Booth.

The Bakken Booth recounts how communication technology has changed over time. However, whether its designers intended it to be or not, its exterior is now a bit of a history exhibit too. Younger visitors often don’t recognize the phone booth, according to the Bakken’s Vice President of Philanthropy, Alex Askew.

Communication has changed inside the Bakken, too. Since remodeling, they’ve added signs in Spanish as well as English and are planning to add Dakota in the future, according to Askew.

Up the stairs on the other side of the Spark exhibit is something that may be more familiar to former fourth-grade field trip attendees: the Frankenstein exhibit.

Bakken Museum founder Earl Bakken was a huge fan of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, even sneaking out to see the 1931 film at the theater, Askew said. Bakken was inspired by Dr. Frankenstein’s use of electricity to create life. That inspiration eventually resulted in Bakken’s signature invention, the first portable pacemaker.

Photos courtesy of The Bakken Museum

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LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

neurobiologist and the first openly transgender scientist in the National Academy of Sciences.

With its incredibly interactive exhibits, the Bakken is sure to keep children engaged. Yes, even the TikTok generation. For families looking to attend the Bakken, especially for the first time, they host Family Discovery Days.

The Family Discovery Days feature organizations that partner with the museum and bring activities in addition to the museum’s own exhibits. They happen three times a year, Askew said. The latest was in June and the next will be in December.

For those who can’t make it with their children but think the kids would enjoy what the museum has to offer, the Bakken offers summer camps. The week-long camps teach attendees how to use the tools in the Bakken’s makerspace to create a project of their choosing.

“Every Friday we do [what we call] a big show,” Askew said. “Essentially, we invite all the parents and community members in and each kid presents what they invented, which is really cool. It’s really cute to watch.”

For those without children, or anyone looking to get their money’s worth out of a night they’ve paid for a babysitter, the Bakken has you covered, too. Their Bakkenalia events include after-hours access to the museum, drink sampling, a full bar and the opportunity to talk to museum curators about rarely-seen items. The next Bakkenalia is on October 10.

In the meantime, The Bakken’s exhibits provide an excellent opportunity for children to not only be engaged and entertained but also learn. The museum and its programming have lots of knowledge to share, but above all, they emphasize exercising creativity. Whether a child wants to be an inventor like Bakken, an author like Shelley or a scientist like Barres, they could find the inspiration they need at the Bakken Museum like Bakken found in Frankenstein.

The Bakken Museum’s address is 3537 Zenith Ave. S., Minneapolis, MN 55416, and it is open from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesday to Sunday, except in September, when they are closed Tuesday to Thursday. Admission is $13 for adults, $11 for seniors aged 65 and older, $10 for students, $9 for children aged 4-17, and free for children aged 3 and under, members and Native Americans. Limited income admission is available for $1. www.thebakken.org 

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OUR SCENE | LGBTQ FAMILIES

BY DEBORAH LOCKE, COMMUNICATIONS SPECIALIST, MINNESOTA DEPARTMENT OF NATURAL RESOURCES

Giving Children The Gift Of The Great Outdoors Five times each week, Maxwell Kelsey of Bemidji visits family-friendly Lake Bemidji State Park. He may be alone on a bicycle, or with his two children, ages 11 and 6.

They find the magic oak tree with the hole in it, walk through the woods, go on the board walk, play at the playground, check out the ash trees in the swamp, note the white pines on the sand hill, and identify birds. Throughout the year, Max looks for “micro adventures” with his children, like using a remotecontrol car on the frozen lake or on summer beach, cross-country skiing the trails, biking, or swimming.

In the life of this family, the park is a giant gym/classroom where wonder and curiosity get full play.

That’s exactly what doctors prescribe these days. Since the onset of excessive screen time by both adults and children, medical personnel have stepped up with suggestions that children spend more time at play in general, and especially outdoor play. That means any of your 73 Minnesota state parks and trails can serve as both a source of healthy entertainment and movement.

A 2018 American Academy of Pediatrics study, “The Power of Play,” concludes that play is anything but frivolous. Pre-school children who are actively engaged while discovering the world around them learn social skills, listen to directions effectively, pay attention, solve disputes with words, and learn to focus on tasks without constant supervision. In addition, outdoor activity helps reduce obesity. As for the impact of even short outdoor activities, it’s found that children who have longer recess periods during the school year have more academic success as they mature than those with short or no recess periods.

So maybe you are thinking, fine, I’d like to get my kids outside more, but where can we go and what can we do? Many state parks feature natural Photos courtesy of the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources

20 LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

playground areas like the one at Lake Bemidji State Park. Visiting children spend a lot of time climbing the logs at the nature play area next to the playground, said Shannon Bungart, assistant park supervisor. Also popular with children is the park’s interpretive center, beach, and trails where families ride their bikes. At Lake Bemidji State Park, Max Kelsey and children cross-country ski in the winter. “Skiing is big,” he said, and screen viewing is left behind.

“In the spring, we look forward to the bog walk and seeing the Lady’s Slippers and other fantastic orchids,” he said, lamenting that sometimes he is the only park visitor on a trail. “We have cardiovascular health issues in this country,” he said. “Breathing fresh air on the trails or on a river is a way to take a path to better health.” (To see the amenities at a park, see www.mndnr.gov/ parkfinder for a park listing.)

Here’s another way to engage children in play: consider a naturalist-run program that entertains and teaches hands-on skills. This fall, children can learn to identify animal tracks, identify night forest sounds, look for snakes, take a photography scavenger hunt and more. For a list of activities, go to www.mndnr.gov/ptcalendar. Most programs are free. In some instances, pre-registration is required.

In some families, playing at parks and support for them is a generational tradition. Pamela Kelsey, Max’s mom, serves on the Friends of Lake Bemidji State Park board. She said a park nearby is a gift, and that most people can’t afford a cabin. But they can certainly enjoy water, trails, trees, birds and wildlife at a state park. She said that when she stands in a grove of super tall trees and looks up, she breathes in deeply, and is transported to a “beautiful place where your heart and mind are at peace.”

While the adults may experience a visceral reaction to the beauty of nature, Max’s kids just know that Dad is enthusiastic about going to the park and that’s all they have ever known “We’ve been going there for so long that it’s a natural option for our day,” he said. “It would be weird for them if we didn’t go to the park.” 

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OUR SCENE | LGBTQ FAMILIES

BY MADISON ROTH

A Safe Haven For Trans Kids Found In Transforming Families

have to use the gross bathroom?

Is it because I’m gross?” He was six years old at the time.

Fuchs said she went to Transforming Families and asked other parents what she should do.

People from the group told her Cam’s school could not stop him from using the bathroom of his choice, so she advocated for her child, Fuchs added.

Transforming Families helped Fuchs understand what language to use when meeting with people from Cam’s school board in order to make sure the school understood that Cam is a boy, according to Fuchs. She said she told the school board she enrolled Cam as the wrong gender and changed his gender to male in the school system.

Despite there still being struggles that Cam faces, Fuchs said that it’s comforting knowing Cam has people who look out for him at school.

“Seeing your child happy is unparalleled,” Fuchs said. “The joy that he had when he was affirmed in his gender has always been a beautiful and amazing thing.”

Hannah Edwards’s daughter, Hildie, told her parents she wanted to be a girl nine years ago. Edwards wanted a place she could take her family while going through Hildie’s journey and knew she couldn’t go through this without the support of others going through something similar.

Enter Transforming Families, a community open to families who have transgender, non-binary and/or questioning children. The group offers a support system for those at any point in their child’s gender identity journey.

Transforming Families has been around for the past 13 years with Edwards being the director for the past two years. She said the best part of her job is being able to watch the families thrive in their personal journeys.

“Trans youth who have grown to be trans adults are wonderful, amazing and deserve every opportunity they can get to access a life that is fullest of their potential,” Edwards said. “Getting to help parents and caregivers not feel alone in supporting their kid helps them be the best support that they can for their kid.”

Transforming Families has monthly meetings in four areas around the Twin Cities – Minneapolis, St. Paul, Eagan and Mahtomedi – with an online option as well. Typical meetings consist of catching up with group discussions to follow. Families are broken up into two groups led by parent and/or adult facilitators, according to Edwards.

Edwards said the group size is dependent on the location, but meetings in Minneapolis tend to see 20+ families while the other locations can range from five to 10 families. She added that the number tends to ebb and flow.

Jenna Fuchs, a regular attendee of Transforming Families, attends the Eagan meetings with her son, Cam, who came out to his parents when he was five years old. She said she came to Transforming Families because she didn’t know much about how to support Cam through his journey and sought guidance.

Fuchs said Transforming Families has been there for her and her family as they’ve had to navigate the struggles Cam has faced at school.

When Cam was in first grade, he wanted to use the boys’ restroom, but the school would not allow him to do so.

Their compromise was to have him use an “alternative” restroom, which Fuchs said was a storage closet with a toilet in the corner. The room had flickering lights, a hospital bed and lots of other random items, Fuchs said.

Fuchs said she knew she had to do something about this when Cam came home and asked his mom “Why do I Photos courtesy of Hannah Edwards, Director of Transforming Families

22 LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

Edwards understands this feeling all too well. She said watching Hildie have no fear in sharing her story has been inspiring.

“It’s made me realize that I can be brave and bold as well in sharing our story,” Edwards said. “Our stories change hearts, minds and lives.”

While there is so much to find joy in within Transforming Families, Edwards said there are always obstacles to overcome.

“We’re living in a society right now where parents and caregivers who support their trans youth are really being scrutinized,” Edwards said. “What’s been hard for me is trying to keep up with all the influx of people and finding a place that is safe for their families.”

Fuchs added to this by saying there has to be more education across the board. Many children do not understand gender identity, and being able to talk about it in schools would be beneficial, Fuchs said.

“People always freak out like we’re telling

kids to be trans, but we have always framed it as to folks, to schools, to community people that this is about teaching kids respect for diverse identities,” Fuchs said.

Edwards said watching parents getting to support and educate other parents and having a safe place to share their feelings with others who truly understand what they are going through is the most meaningful to her. She added she also enjoys when parents are in a comfortable spot with their child’s journey and are able to lead groups.

“That change to me is exactly why we do it because it’s going to create happy, healthy trans kids – having that support from their parents or caregivers,” Edwards said.

Fuchs shared a heartfelt sentiment about how people can best support trans kids, emphasizing the importance of how we can all be a little better as humans.

“When people tell us what’s in their hearts, we listen,” Fuchs said.

For more information, you can visit Transforming Families’s website at tffmn.org. 

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OUR SCENE | NORTH SHORE FEATURE

BY NATASHA DELION

Your Labor Day Weekend Just Got An Upgrade

Head Up North for Duluth-Superior Pride Labor Day weekend means one thing for the DuluthSuperior Area, Pride. While most places are decorated in rainbow colors throughout June, Duluth-Superior brings a weekend full of activities to the Twin Ports area to end the summer months.

Duluth-Superior Pride Co-Chair Becky Scheff said hosting Pride on Labor Day weekend is an opportunity for people to attend their local Pride festivals and have a second shot at Pride weekend. For many, it’s a draw for their annual Duluth-Superior area visit from many areas across the Midwest while also being able to celebrate Pride.

For their 38th year, enjoy a plethora of events ranging from Art Exhibitions to Drag events from Aug. 29 through Sept. 1. The weekend will include three Art Exhibitions highlighting local queer artists. “The Hidden Realm” and “Folks of Duluth” will hold their opening ceremonies the first two days of Pride and “The Gayest Art Show Ever” will be exclusively showcased at Pride.

In collaboration with Rubber Chicken Theater, David Saffert and Jillian Snow will return to Duluth and perform their new show Liberace & Liza: A Tribute at the Duluth Depot Theater on Aug. 30-31. The performers previously created A Liberace & Liza Christmas Show in 2017, which continues Photos by Sophia Hantzes

In The TwinCities

24 LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

to sell out every holiday season in Portland. With songs from Cabaret, New York, New York, and more, the two light up their stage with their performances; it’s a show you wouldn’t want to miss.

Local LGBTQ+ nightclubs will host multiple drag shows and parties in both Duluth and Superior. The Flame Duluth will host Party X on Aug. 30 and a drag show on Aug. 31. Enjoy dancing, DJs, and the drag show in the nightclub, or sit back and relax in the bar area. No matter your vibe, The Flame Duluth strives to make it a comfortable place for everyone. Another Drag Show will end the weekend on the Superior side at The Main Club on Sunday, which is Superior’s longest-standing LGBTQ+ bar and club. The bars will also host a block party on Aug. 31.

There are also plenty of family-friendly events including the Bayfront Pride Festival on Aug. 31, a Youth Pride Dance on Aug. 30, and, of course, the Pride Parade on Sep. 1. The festival and parade are the two largest events of the weekend. The Bayfront Festival will have a kid’s area with a balloon artist, games, and many food trucks. Along with the food trucks, this year’s vendors will also showcase local small businesses and artists.

The weekend provides an opportunity to explore what both Duluth and Superior have to offer as the events are split between the two areas.

Scheff said two bridges connect the communities and there’s plenty of public transportation that makes it easy to get back and forth. Although they are two cities, Scheff said there’s not a separation between the two even outside of Pride weekend.

Continued on page 26

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OUR SCENE | NORTH SHORE FEATURE

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“It’s one community, one big family,” Scheff said. “It’s different from Pride all over the country. It has a very small town feel here, but it’s very welcoming and enjoyable for everyone.”

The Pride festivities end with the Pride Train, aka “The Foo Foo Choo Choo”, which is a 21+ party with food, a live DJ, a cash bar, and a two-and-a-half hour scenic train ride along the shores of Lake Superior.

If you’re looking for an excuse to take a trip up north, this is a perfect one. Even if you need a break from Pride festivities, the Duluth-Superior area is a gorgeous place for a getaway.

The Twin Ports is right on Lake Superior, the largest of the Great Lakes, and Superior has a beautiful Municipal Forest. The Superior Municipal Forest is the third-largest forest within a city in the country and is a great example of a boreal forest, a forest that grows in northern regions with cold temperatures. The forest has activities like hiking, mountain biking, canoeing, kayaking, boating, and a 9-hole disc golf course, which is widely popular in Superior.

Duluth also sits on a hill overlooking the lake making it a beautiful landscape to see.

There are plenty of outdoor activities to explore if that’s your cup of tea, but for others, there’s still plenty to do in the metro.

Scheff said there are a lot of amazing local restaurants, museums, a great live music scene, plenty of breweries, and an amazing roller rink, World of Wheels Skate Center, for family fun.

“It’s a really cool old-school roller rink that’s just super open and safe,” Scheff said.

She said they’re hoping to have one of the biggest and most successful years with over 100 vendors already signed up and hoping to break their previous attendance record of 5,000.

“Duluth-Superior just has a really unique relationship where we have two communities right next to each other and lots of places to explore,” Scheff said. “Usually Pride takes place in one city and we have the two with a beautiful landscape behind it, it’s worth the drive.”

Whether you’re looking for another Pride celebration or weekend getaway to end the summer and welcome fall, consider spending Labor Day Weekend in the Duluth-Superior area. Between the weekend of Pride events, the extensive list of attractions in the Twin Ports area, and the gorgeous landscapes, it’s a great place to spend your Labor Day Weekend and enjoy the end of the summer.

View a full list of Pride events and event details at www.duluthsuperiorpride.com. 

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OUR AFFAIRS | BOOKS

BY E.B. BOATNER

Books

Desert Reunion: A Dante and Jazz Mystery

Dante O’Donnell and Jazz Friendly’s latest caper illustrates the high odds of murder when the wealthy-wealthy gather en famille. Craft rings the changes on motives in Palm Springs and surrounding Ranchos, plausible through Dante’s position as Sunny Junket Vacation Rentals concierge.

DNA tests have uncovered a new scion of wealthy Richard Gibb’s family, one Harold Gibkin of Atmos Phuel R&D, seeking a family reunion,(i.e., funds to develop his electricity-from-air machine.) Sudden death of Gibkins’s well-disliked wife points to Dante and Jazz’s aging, exotic friend Zola as the culprit, so they enter the fray. The Gibkins family is gathered, the end is in view, but… Craft slyly pulls the rug out from under reader as well as suspects and … The ball’s in the reader’s court, now.

The Axeman’s Carnival

A tale told by a magpie, signifying…quite a lot, here. Tama, our narrator, experiences life, hunger, need; a pink scrap fallen to earth, scooped up into New Zealand farm wife Marnie’s “pillowed palm,” against the wishes of husband Rob. One might expect a twee talking bird tale, but when Marnie holds fast, asserting, “You owe me,” the atmosphere dark-

ens. Their sheep farm is failing, Rob drinks, vents his anger on Marnie; Tama learns too quickly, talks too much, too often. Rob, for pride must win a tenth consecutive trophy axe in the upcoming Axeman’s Carnival. He’s becoming increasingly jealous of Marnie. Talking Tama is earning money online, outperforming Rob as breadwinner. The scorched land, its dying grasses, their withering hopes–all fuel for the flame.

Sugar-Baby Bridge: A Gay Marine’s Story I

It’s 2001, Brad is 21, just out of his Marine posting on the tropical paradise of Mau’i, flies free for a weekend in San Francisco. This first of a projected trilogy opens in the dingy Detour. Brad orders milk, and waits… (Back in rural Ohio, he hadn’t been popular with beer-drinking peers.) Wiping the frosted mug dry, he inspects the bar for dampness or stickiness, sets the mug down. He waits, is approached.

“I’m Ron,” says a clean-cut, khaki-shorts-and-poloshirt stranger, setting off the book’s action. They go to Ron’s place, an empty apartment (which Ron owns, along with the building.) They have sex (not the main thrust of the novels) set off in the morning–after Ron buys a new Mercedes SUV to replace one he’d dinged. “You drive,” says Ron handing over keys to Brad, who has no license. They proceed from nautical rich to landed richer around Lake

Tahoe, Ron buying Brad clothes and food as necessary. They visit Ron’s married sister and other, ever grander, repositories of wealth, then return.

Semper Civilian: A Gay Marine’s Story II

Returned to Hawaii, Brad, now solo, has a landlord he’s avoiding and gay friends not answering his calls phone. Sober, broke, but tidy. (“I worried that his groping would wrinkle my freshly-ironed shirt.”) Entering a Gay Bachelor (charity) Auction at Hula’s, he doesn’t receive highest bid, but does meet Danny, a gossip columnist who knows everyone in the local arts scene, who can open doors for whom. Older, lives with parents, Brad doesn’t return Danny’s interest, but allows him to chauffeur him about, pay for food, cover tickets, and introduce him into society. Brad also gives his number to a pair of bearded daddies in a rest-room encounter. Brad is swept up in a giddy, freebie round of activity with a famed Italian dancer, nude film-posing, and sundry fleshly delights until he blows off an appointment with Danny for a fling with those lusty daddies. Danny precipitates a scene of reckoning, bringing denial then, the dawn: “I was going to have to find a way for myself. I was going to have to discover the most elusive thing in any of these worlds. Home.” See vol III, Point and Shoot. 

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OUR LIVES | SENIOR LIVING

BY EMMA WALYTKA

Everything He Knows About Love, Life, Adversity, Connection, and What Really Matters

Jerome Hager, Words of Wisdom

Warmth, acceptance, fondness and admiration – all feelings Jerome “Grandma” Hager, a gay grandparent feels from his grandchildren. On a broader societal level, the adversity and challenge of it all – self-acceptance, feeling different from everyone else, to coming out later in life, shows the challenges along the way and the beauty of his destinations through wisdom and experience.

From growing up on a dairy farm in a small town outside of Ellsworth, Wisconsin, to attending the little Catholic church down the street, to earning a degree in business and mathematics and getting a job at 3M, Hager has lived a life of many chapters and stages.

Just over a month ago, Hager introduced his partner David to his family, including his grandchildren. At the age of 42, Hager became extremely depressed and knew it was time to not only become reborn with new life lessons, but also to create new memories and experiences as he was now open about being gay.

Even more recently, Jerome and David got married with his immediate family present and flower petals tossed from the hands of his grandchildren filled the ceremony floors. The names of each grandchild are carefully carved into Hager’s part of the ceremony.

The past and present: words of wisdom, evolution and acceptance

Though Hager’s life has evolved and become unified with his partner’s, his experiences, past, and the way he expresses his love are also a core part of his identity – something that has shaped his outlook in life and the way he shares wisdom.

Just over two months ago was when Hager first introduced his fiancé David to his family.

“It was easy, as my family and grandchildren were so welcoming,” Hager added.

Acceptance and adoration were shown through Esme, Hager’s grandchild when, after a t-ball game, she asked if David could play in the playground afterwards and requested that David come along the next time their grandpa visited.

At a recent gathering for a birthday party, his granddaughter Nora introduced David to her best friend by simply saying “This is David!”, without explanation or hesitation – it was pure acceptance.

Even through speakerphone conversations, his grandson Gus asked “Where is David?”, displaying warmth toward the couple. These collective acts of fondness led up to the moment of the wedding, where each grandchild threw flower petals and had their names read by Hager.

While Hager was raising his children, his house was always the “’hangout’ house, the token spot for friends to converse and make memories”, according to Hager. When his daughters were in junior high school, they found out they had a gay dad, and it changed their lives.

His daughters’ friends are “different” too, Hager added. Years later, one of them grew up to be working at a top accounting firm, serving on the diversity council—a role that addresses gaps in representation.

“They were exposed to a different view just because they were my daughters’ friends,” Hager said. “One of my daughters then married a guy who had a gay uncle, while the other married a guy that was the best man in his best friend’s gay wedding.”

Being your authentic self, from sharing your talents, whether it’s through creating art, cooking, or being a nurturing figure for your grandchildren is important, Hager said. Modeling open behavior that doesn’t become narrowly focused is the first step in creating a bright future for those younger than you.

At Hager’s recent wedding, Hager reflects on the deeply-rooted symbolism of his grandchildren throwing the flower petals. “Their world is going to be different, just because they love their grandpa – they had no issue with us getting married,” Hager said.

Food: the edible love language

“You just find different lives,” Hager said. “And now, my life with my grandchildren is going over there and cooking for them.”

What began as getting takeout for his granddaughter Nora after she was born, has now translated into a weekly affair with home-cooked meals

by Hager for his grandchildren.

What has been ongoing for the past seven years led Hager to realize his passion for cooking— especially when it meant doing it for others. In order to sell his cookbook, Hager said he would have to set up as a vendor and process tax paperwork, and, instead, decided to simply give them away.

“If it speaks to you, do good things and you put it out there,” Hager said. “I can be out there and bubbly and you know, lead the CookBoyz group and then I want to be alone, so you just put it out there you see what germinates—you can’t plan all this stuff.”

Mid-July, the recently married couple hosted a wedding reception at Hager’s condo, with around one hundred people filtering in and out throughout the day to not only celebrate their marriage but also to serve as a meet and greet for childhood friends.

“You get to create different lives as you go, and what I did not know when I was young is you don’t (know) when you don’t really fit in and you don’t really have a clique or a group; sometimes it takes a long time to realize that’s an asset,” Hager said. “You can fit in anywhere and you can do anything, and you just have to learn how to be confident in yourself and find a way that’s right for you.” 

Photo by Rachel Leighton Photography LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

29

OUR HOMES | OUR RIDES

BY RANDY STERN

Elegance and Sustainability in a Volvo It is worth repeating that Volvo is transforming into an electrified automaker.

This year should see the arrival of the all-electric EX30 and EX90 into Volvo showrooms. Both vehicles will add more towards the Swedish automaker’s push towards a gasoline-free future.

In the meantime, the current Volvo lineup has been transformed to offer electrified drivelines only, some of which will be plug-in hybrids, known as Recharge models. Others will be mild hybrids.

One such example is the 2024 S90 flagship sedan. You can get either driveline; however, the more desirable models will be the plug-in hybrid versions including the example we had a chance to work with recently.

A few years ago, we drove the S90 with a combined turbocharged and supercharged engine.

Sounded like a great idea, but there was some feedback towards some enhancing of the driveline. A plug-in hybrid version of the same engine arrived a year or so after our tester that also created some strong feedback that Volvo listened to.

The good news was that Volvo took what they learned and simplified the plug-in hybrid drivePhotos by Randy Stern

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line. It only has a turbocharger with a more robust electric drive system.

We tried this driveline in the smaller S60 over a year ago, and we liked it a lot. To get this in Volvo’s most luxurious sedan made us think “does this make the S90 a more complete package?”

The T8 Recharge engine on our S90 Ultimate Bright Theme sedan comprises of the aforementioned plug-in hybrid system and the turbocharged 2.0-liter four-cylinder engine.

This combined driveline’s output comes to 455 horsepower and 523 pound-feet of torque.

Volvo states that you could drive up 38 miles on battery-only power.

One thing we noticed from the last S90 we reviewed was its longer length. Sometime after its introduction, a long-wheelbase version was introduced for the Chinese market.

It provided extra legroom in the back seat, perfect for those who rather be driven than drive themselves – a sign of power in China.

It was decided that we might like the longer wheelbase model, so it is now the sole version available in the U.S.A. The result is fantastic rear leg room. Headroom might be a challenge for taller persons, when the S90 is equipped with the panoramic roof. Front seat space is perfect for taller people, even with the multi-adjustable seats.

It is the S90’s cockpit that attracts drivers to its charms. The 12-inch digital instrument cluster and head-up display is much better with clearer graphics and readouts. I wished some controls were clearer to get the information I need, such as cumulative trip mileage and fuel economy. The Orrefors crystal gear lever is a nice touch. If you have never driven a modern Volvo or any vehicle with a shift-bywire transmission, then you are missing out on a logical system that truly works.

Continued on page 34 LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

31

COMMUNITY CONNECTION Community Connection brings visibility to local LGBTQ-friendly non-profit organizations.

To reserve your listing in Community Connection, email advertising@lavendermagazine. com.

ANIMAL RESCUE

Second Chance Animal Rescue

Dedicated to rescuing, fostering, caring for, and adopting out dogs and cats into forever homes.

P.O. Box 10533 White Bear Lake, MN 55110 (651) 771-5662 www.secondchancerescue.org

BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS

Quorum

Minnesota's LGBTQ+ and Allied Chamber of Commerce working to build, connect, and strengthen for a diverse business community.

2446 University Ave. W., Ste 112 St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 460-8153 www.twincitiesquorum.com

CASINOS

Mystic Lake Casino Hotel

Nonstop gaming excitement with slots, blackjack, bingo and more plus distinctive bars and restaurants.

2400 Mystic Lake Blvd.

Prior Lake, MN 55372 (800) 262-7799 www.mysticlake.com

ENVIRONMENT

The Nature Conservancy

TNC is an environmental nonprofit working to create a world where people and nature thrive.

1101 W. River Pkwy., Ste. 200 Minneapolis, MN 55415-1291 (612) 331-0700 minnesota@tnc.org www.nature.org/minnesota

EVENT VENUES

Landmark Center

A classic venue, with a grand cortile and beautiful courtrooms, accommodates celebrations of all sizes.

75 W. 5th St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 292-3228 www.landmarkcenter.org

GRANTMAKERS/FUNDERS PFund Foundation

PFund is the LGBTQ+ community foundation that provides grants to students and grants to non-profits.

PO Box 3640 Minneapolis, MN 55403 612-870-1806 www.pfundfoundation.org

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Aliveness Project

Community Center for individuals living with HIV/AIDS – on-site meals, food shelf, and supportive service.

3808 Nicollet Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55102 (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org

32 LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

Family Tree Clinic

We're a sliding fee sexual health clinic and education center, now in Minneapolis.

1919 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis MN 55403 (612) 473-0800 www.familytreeclinic.org

Keane Sense of Rhythm

Celebrate your true self with Tap dance!

1st week free, Join us now!

2161 University Avenue W., Ste. 117 St. Paul, MN. 55114 (612) 251-4744 info@tapcompany.org www.tapcompany.org

NAMI Minnesota

(National Alliance on Mental Illness) Providing free classes and peer support groups for people affected by mental illnesses.

1919 University Ave. W., Ste. 400 St. Paul, MN 55104 (651) 645-2948 www.namimn.org

Rainbow Health

Providing comprehensive health services for LGBTIA+ people, those living with HIV & folks from underserved communities facing healthcare barriers.

701 S. 4th Ave., #1500 Minneapolis, MN 55415 General: (612) 341-2060, MN AIDSLine: (612) 373-2437 info@rainbowhealth.org www.rainbowhealth.org

Red Door Clinic

HIV and STI screening, treatment, education, and referrals. Doxy PEP, nPEP, PrEP, and Reproductive Health.

525 Portland Ave., 4th Fl. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 543-5555 reddoor@hennepin.us www.reddoorclinic.org

LIBRARIES

Quatrefoil Library

Your LGBTQ+ library and community center. Free membership, events, and e-books/audiobooks. Check us out!

1220 E. Lake St. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 729-2543 www.qlibrary.org

MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS

Radio K

Radio K is the award-winning studentrun radio station of the University of Minnesota.

330 21st. Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55455 (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org

MUSEUM

Minnesota Historical Society

Create your own adventure at MNHS historic sites and museums around Minnesota. mnhs.org

Walker Art Center

Showcasing the fresh, innovative art of today and tomorrow through exhibitions, performances, and film screenings.

725 Vineland Pl. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 375-7600 www.walkerart.org

PERFORMING ARTS

Chanhassen Dinner Theaters

The nation's largest professional dinner theater and Minnesota's own entertainment destination.

501 W. 78th St. Chanhassen, MN 55317 (952) 934-1525 www.ChanhassenDT.com

Guthrie Theater

Open to the public year-round, the Guthrie produces classic and contemporary plays on three stages.

818 S. 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org

Lyric Arts Main Street Stage

Theater with character. Comedies, musicals, & dramas in a professional, intimate setting where all are welcomed.

420 E. Main St. Anoka, MN 55303 (763) 422-1838 info@lyricarts.org www.lyricarts.org

Minnesota Opera

World-class opera draws you into a synthesis of beauty; breathtaking music, stunning costumes & extraordinary sets.

Performances at the Ordway Music Theater - 345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (612) 333-6669 www.mnopera.org

Minnesota Orchestra

Led by Music Director Designate Thomas Søndergård, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras.

1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 371-5656, (800) 292-4141 www.minnesotaorchestra.org

Ordway Center for the Performing Arts

Leading performing arts center with two stages presenting Broadway musicals, concerts & educational programs that enrich diverse audiences.

345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 224-4222 info@ordway.org www.ordway.org

Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus

An award-winning chorus building community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for!

1430 W. 28th St., Ste. B Minneapolis, MN 55408 (612) 339-SONG (7664) chorus@tcgmc.org www.tcgmc.org

RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL

All God’s Children Metropolitan Community Church

A welcoming, inclusive, safe place to explore and discover God’s love for ALL God’s children.

3100 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 824-2673 www.agcmcc.org

Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church

Everyone is welcome at Hennepin Church! Vibrant Worship. Authentic Community. Bold Outreach.

511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-5303 www.hennepinchurch.org

Plymouth Congregational Church

Many Hearts, One Song; Many Hands, One Church. Find us on Facebook and Twitter.

1900 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-7400 www.plymouth.org

St. Philip's Lutheran Church

We invite and welcome those of every spiritual background, ethnicity, gender orientation, or economic situation.

6180 Hwy 65 Fridley, MN 55432 (763) 571-1500 www.splcmn.org

University Baptist Church

Creating safe and inclusive spaces for 175 years, UBC stands proudly with our LGBTQ+ family.

1219 University Ave. SE Minneapolis, MN 55414 (612) 331-1768 www.ubcmn.org

Westminster Presbyterian Church

An open and affirming congregation, welcoming persons of all sexual orientations, gender expressions and identities.

1200 Marquette Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 332-3421 www.westminstermpls.org

SENIOR LIVING Friends & Co

Fostering meaningful connections for older adults for 50+ years. Offering quick drop-in chat line, phone & visiting companionship services.

2550 University Ave. W., Ste. 260-S St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 721-1400 www.friendsco.org

Senior Community Services

Providing non-medical services that meet the changing needs of older adults & support their caregivers.

10201 Wayzata Blvd., Ste. 335 Minnetonka, MN 55305 (952) 541-1019 www.seniorcommunity.org/lav

SOCIAL SERVICES

Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota

Serving all Minnesotans with personcentered services that promote full and abundant lives. lssmn.org | (651) 642-5990 | (800) 582-5260 Employment Opportunities | lssmn.org/careers PICS (Partners in Community Supports) | picsmn.org Pooled Trust | (888) 806-6844 Supported Decision-Making | (888) 806-6844

TRAVEL DESTINATIONS Discover St. Louis Park

Minnesota’s Sweet Spot! Visit us for exceptional dining, attractions, shopping, hotels and event space.

1660 Hwy 100 S., Ste. 501 St. Louis Park, MN 55416 (952) 426-4047 www.DiscoverStLouisPark.com

THE NETWORK Locally Owned & Operated Since 1950

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33

OUR HOMES | OUR RIDES

Volvo’s infotainment systems are driven by Google. You can still mirror your iPhone to this system, but don’t forget to bring a USB-C cord.

The tester’s Bowers & Wilkins 19-speaker audio upgrade is well worth the $3,200. To enhance the sound inside the cabin, you have a series of preset audio “room modes” where you can simulate a jazz club, a concert hall, a studio, or a stage from a screen.

Trunk space is measured at 13.5 cubic feet with a bit of a step-down from the bumper. However, it seems larger and deeper than its specification will let you believe.

To describe the overall the driving experience in the S90, one word pops out: Smooth. Power delivery is exactly that, by combining the electric motor and the turbocharged four-cylinder gasoline engine with its eight-speed automatic transmission. All four wheels benefit from this mass of smooth power. Lane changes and on-ramp maneu-

34 LAVENDER AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

vers are all done with absolute ease.

As a result of this smoothness, I did average of 26.0 MPG for fuel consumption with a high mark of 31.7 MPG. The same smoothness is found on the S90’s ride quality. This is due to the Active Chassis with Rear Air Suspension set-up. There was absolutely no feedback from rougher roads. There was also no lean or roll when tested through the turns or taking on evasive situations. This S90 is just an absolute joy to drive in.

The smoothness continues with its steering rack. The S90 shows off a good turning radius – even for a longer sedan. On-center feel is fine, assisted by the sedan’s Lane Keeping Aid to ensure it rides within the lines. Braking is solid with a bit of a light touch from the pedal. Stop were equally solid in normal, panic, and winter conditions.

Its long exterior silhouette is augmented by an array of details that adds to its elegant cache.

The 19-inch Diamond Cut alloy wheels is a detail that makes this blue S90 pop out even more.

This Ultimate trim level tester adds what is called the Bright Theme, which adds a tasteful level of chrome to give it an extra sense of style and bling.

You can choose between two trim levels for the 2024 Volvo S90 – Plus and Ultimate. Mild Hybrid models start $58,300, whereas Recharge models start at $65,530. Our Recharge Ultimate tester with the Bright Theme came with a sticker price of $78,195.

For this long-time champion of the LGBTQ+ community, Volvo Cars still makes vehicles that are desirable, elegant, efficient, and safe. You can also add sustainable, thanks to its continuous push towards complete electrification of its lineup by the end of this decade or sooner.

It is true that you can have it all. The S90 is proof that you can. 

life. at your summit.

At the core of our care lies the profound understanding that you are on a journey to reach

IMMEDIATE CARE AT OUR

your full potential, to realize your goals and

ORTHOPEDIC URGENT CARE

dreams, to reach your summit——no matter what

LOCATIONS THROUGHOUT THE METRO

that summit may be. It is this understanding that drives us to provide the highest standard of excellence through every injury or aching joint and muscle that may stand in your way.