Lavender Magazine 742

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CONTENTS ISSUE 742 November 2-15, 2023

Finance & YearEnd Giving Issue

20 W hat You Need To Know About How To Get Your Business LGBT Business Enterprise Certified 22 I nvesting In Your Future 24 N avigating LGBTQ+ Finances: Tailored Financial Insights from ROR Tax Professionals

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Photo provided by GiveMN

26 Give to the Max: When Minnesotans’ Generosity Shines 28 Red Running For Their Lives - The Aliveness Project Puts HIV Stigma Under There

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16

30

14: Photo courtesy of Discovery Networks, 16: Photo courtesy of Visit Fort Wayne, 30: Photo provided by US Bancorp

OUR LAVENDER

8 From the Editor 8 Lavender Writer Profile 9 A Word in Edgewise 10 Biz Buzz: Tucker Gerrick 12 A Day In The Life: D Rojas

OUR SCENE

14 Reality TV Star Andrew Shayde Discusses Representation in The Outdoors

28 ON THE COVER

Photo by Tyler Croat

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LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

16 Travel: Fort Wayne, IN 19 From Rochester to IML – via Oklahoma City

OUR LIVES

30 Senior Living

OUR RESOURCES

32 Community Connection 33 The Network

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Exclusive online content available on our website. Visit ISSUU.COM or download our app to read our Digital Edition.

zealous advocates WE TAKE GREAT PRIDE IN LGBTQ EQUALITY. Dorsey understands that fairness, equality, and respect are not just fundamental to the law. They are fundamental to productive workplaces and peaceful communities. Dorsey is committed to being an inclusive organization that values diverse backgrounds, perspectives, and contributions. Learn more at www.dorsey.com/diversity.

dorsey.com

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Volume 29, Issue 742 • November 2-15, 2023

EDITORIAL Managing Editor Randy Stern 612-461-8723 Editorial Assistant Linda Raines 612-436-4660 Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner Editorial Associate George Holdgrafer Contributors Linden M. Bayliss, Lakey Bridge, Buer Carlie, Emi Gacaj, Terrance Griep, Elise Maren, Jen PeeblesHampton, Linda Raines, Gabrielle Reeder, Alexander Reed, Madison Roth, Aurora Smith, Jamez L. Smith, Susan Swavely, Carla Waldemar, Todd P. Walker

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Vice President of Sales & Advertising Barry Leavitt 612-436-4690 Account Executives Nathan Johnson 612-436-4695 Richard Kranz 612-436-4675 Advertising Associate George Holdgrafer Sales & Event Administration Linda Raines 612-436-4660 National Sales Representatives Rivendell Media 212-242-6863

CREATIVE Creative/Digital Director Mike Hnida 612-436-4679 Photographer Sophia Hantzes

ADMINISTRATION Publisher Lavender Media, Inc. President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665 Chief Financial Officer Doug Starkebaum 612-436-4664 Administrative Assistant Michael Winikoff 612-436-4660 Distribution Metro Periodical Partners 612-281-3249 Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee (1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford (1914-2006), Jonathan Halverson (1974-2010), Adam Houghtaling (1984-2012), Walker Pearce (1946-2013), Tim Campbell (1939-2015), John Townsend (1959-2019) Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space, and libel.

They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will not be published.

Priority will be given to letters that refer to material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit letters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 5100 Eden Ave, Suite 107, Edina, MN 55436 or e-mail editor@lavendermagazine.com.

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5100 Eden Ave, Suite 107, Edina, MN 55436 612-436-4660 Office 612-436-4660 Subscriptions/Distribution 612-436-4660 Lavender Advertising

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LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

Lavender 2016 Magazine of the Year

Entire contents copyright 2023. All rights reserved. Publication of the name or photograph of any person, organization, or business in this magazine does not reflect upon one’s sexual orientation whatsoever. Lavender® Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertising. This issue of Lavender® Magazine is available free of charge during the time period published on the cover. Pickup at one of our distribution sites is limited to one copy per person.

4330 Nicollet Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55409

Lavender Media is seeking to add a Twin Citiesbased full time Account Executive to our sales team. We are looking for an outgoing, organized, self-driven & motivated professional with excellent phone, writing and presentation skills. Candidates should enjoy working directly with clients who are interested in growing their business through Lavender advertising and event sponsorships. Candidates must be local.

Includes base pay + commission and an employee benefits package that includes group health, dental, life insurance and LTD. Applicants should have experience with Mac software environment, Excel, Word, social media platforms & database software such as Filemaker Pro. They should exhibit an elevated level of organization, attention to detail, the ability to work as part of a team, effective communication, self direction, enjoys working with new people and has a natural drive to grow.

Please send your cover letter and resume to Stephen Rocheford, President & CEO. stephen.rocheford@lavendermagazine.com LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

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OUR LAVENDER | FROM THE EDITOR

Get Your Money Right!

Welcome to our Finance and Year-End Giving Issue!

This issue, we center this theme on one of our favorite topics of discussion – money.

It is a sore subject for some, leverage for others.

It is never easy to discuss money or how we spend it. We either worry about it or don’t care. It seems that there is a lack of middle ground from what I’ve observed in my lifetime.

We know that the economy has been see-sawing a bit. Some predict that it would go one way or another, but not into an extreme. There’s outside forces that are causing stress on our wallets.

There’s also a lot of places that want to give you advice about how to deal with your money.

Social media is one place – but, do you trust it to give you proper advice? Do they even know your exact economic situation?

In this issue, we offer a few pearls of wisdom from the experts in finance and business, along

with opportunities to do something good with your money.

We know you struggle with handling your taxes every year. We bring you a story about a local tax office that is in our community. They’re a good resource on how to handle the stress of the upcoming tax season.

We also bring in one of our financial experts in our community to guide you through the maze of retirement and investment options for our senior population. There may be some tips you can do now before you face retirement age.

One of our favorite writers also has a new book that will help you in creating and building your investment portfolio. It is our turn to tell his story, instead of him taking us somewhere on vacation.

Another theme regarding investment is to be a business or an entrepreneur. We feature a certification process of LGBTQ+ businesses to get

Photo courtesy of BigStock/ chaylek

BY RANDY STERN

certified, so they can reach the right customers towards creating success.

Of course, we love to give to our favorite causes and organizations. Give To The Max Day is coming up. We give you a glimpse as to what organizations you can give to and how to smartly give to them.

That also includes giving and participating in charity events, such as the Red Undies Run that is coming soon.

The bottom line is simple: Get your money right! Invest it, set up a retirement plan, take care of your debts, spend wisely, give to your favorite charities, and just be happy. That way, you wouldn’t have to have a difficult conversation about money. 

OUR LAVENDER | WRITER PROFILE Photo provided by Linden M. Bayliss

Linden M. Bayliss

BY LAVENDER

Where did you grow up, and what was that like?

I grew up in the western suburbs of Minneapolis. I spent many a summer day riding my bike down the Luce Line trail and reading books at my grandparents’ house, comics like Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield, and all the old tear-jerking classics like Black Beauty and Charlotte’s Web. I dabble in fiction writing as well and I think I draw a lot of my inspiration from those old children’s classics full of animals and hard life lessons. I’m an only child so I had to really learn how to entertain myself back then, books were always a good way to fight off boredom. It could get lonely sometimes, but I was lucky I had all those old books and awesome neighbors my age to hang out with. I am still friends with all of my childhood neighbors to this day.

Describe your perfect day.

Wake up slow, have my coffee and breakfast and chat with my other half, listening to some good music. Spend the rest of the day outside, maybe a bike ride or some mushroom hunting.

Have a really delicious dinner and enjoy it with some good wine or cider. I really just like being outside, eating good food, and being around good company.

How long have you been a writer, and how'd you get into it?

I’ve always been a writer since I was young and throughout my school career, but I started professionally as an editor, actually. I worked for

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LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

a small publisher in Wisconsin for a while, editing and proofreading and then did some freelance work for family and family friends until a friend of mine got me connected with Lavender in 2022 and I went back to writing. I love writing a lot more than editing. I’ve been so grateful for the opportunity.

What are you reading/watching/listening to these days?

I’m currently reading a harrowing memoir called Out of the Impossible: The Hope of the Lost Boy by Paul Kur. I met the author during Pride weekend, he was my Lyft driver here in the city.

He told us he grew up as a child soldier in South Sudan and I couldn’t believe it, I was astounded that this happy, charismatic guy could have gone through all that. Then he told us about his book and I just had to read it. It is truly astounding, what a tale. You really never know what someone has been through until you get to know them.

What inspires you?

Meeting interesting people, good conversation, also movies and music. I always feel really inspired after I see a good film.

Favorite qualities in another person?

I like being around people who are openminded, honest, easy-going, caring, fun-loving, and can find the funny things in life. People who share my dark sense of humor and love for satire and talking shit, but also people who have big hearts and can help me stay grounded. I need more calm in my life. I like the honest, quickwitted sweethearts I guess?

Least favorite?

I don’t like people who think everyone is out to get them and can’t see anyone else’s point of view. There are too many people like that and I think the world would be a better place if people weren’t so self-centered and tried a little harder for some empathy. I truly believe at the end of the day we all want the same things in life: love, fairness, security, and to have fun, so why treat each other like the enemy? I also don’t like people who take themselves so seriously; we are all just out here trying for the same things, at the end of the day you aren’t better than anybody else, just different.

Where’s your happy place?

Swimming in the ocean, jumping into the shallow waves (I’m not a good swimmer so shallow is important). I love swimming in the ocean so much. If I can’t get to one, being that I am landlocked most of the time, I honestly think my happy place is the grocery store. I can’t be upset surrounded by food, and I love picking out what I’m gonna eat for the week. Food gets me excited.

What is your motto?

Spread your light and your love, you never know who needs it. 

OUR LAVENDER | A WORD IN EDGEWISE

Untethered

BY E.B. BOATNER

I cheered Simone Biles’s return in August’s 2023 World Artistic Gymnastics Championships.

Some cried “coward” when she withdrew from the 2020 Tokyo Olympics after a potentially lethal bout of the “twisties” left her airborne and lost. Their verdict; “She shoulda’ just pushed through it.”

Biles did it her way, vindicated in Antwerp bringing her World Championships and Olympics medals total to 37, and a completed Yurchenko double pike, now “Biles II.” An image of Biles against a black background soaring towards a bar, arms outstretched, eyes focused, flashed me to astronaut Bruce McCandless, 1984. Black eternity his backdrop, drifting untethered. 300’ from STS-41B; a lifetime in the balance.

And then there came to mind…Danny DeVito.

Danny DeVito? Only connect.

Biles knew her goal at six, when she saw kids at a gym working on apparatus. Adults seeing her imitate older teens better, started her training. Her grandparents had adopted the child from a difficult home situation, encouraged her and soon she was practicing 6-8 hours daily.

DeVito, spoiled only son with two older sisters, was loved and encouraged. He worked in sister Angie’s beauty shop, then deciding to learn about

Depend on my team for Integrity Experience Results

makeup entered the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. There, acting seduced him, and young DeVito plunged headfirst into all aspects of the performing arts and been immersed ever since.

(DeVito is now 78, Biles 26) Everyone performs their life on some level, using such gifts as they are given. Biles and DeVito have embraced their plusses, and overcome or utilized their minuses, and used them for others as well. Biles has a fortunate gymnast’s physique: short (4’8”), muscular (low center of gravity), energetic and to undergo the arduous training.

Minuses for Biles inevitably involve racism.

She was the first black woman to win the all-around in the 2013 World Gymnastics Championships. An Italian gymnast, beaten at that and balance-beam, snarked in an interview, ““…next time we should also paint our skin black so we can win too.” Biles noted later, “…it happens every day…But you just have to keep going for those little ones looking up to us. It doesn’t matter what you look like. You can strive for greatness, and you can be great.”

DeVito had a fond family environment, but Fairbank’s disease denied him the gift of height; his growth terminating at 4’10”. Not a movie/TV star ticket, yet that’s what he became; despite Taxi’s

stellar cast–his mother Julia as Louie’s mom–DeVito was the undoubted hub of that marvelous vehicle.His height was parfait, played against Arnold Schwarzenegger in Twins. Yet, as a boy he frequently suffered bullying and humiliation for his genetically-caused shortness.

DeVito nevertheless has always been a funseeker, drawn to the quirky and outré. Against professional advice, he joined the second season of Sitcom It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia in 2006.

It’s still running; DeVito’s still in it.

It would take an insert to list all of Biles’s triumphs and medals and DeVito’s range of theater, stage, film, producing and directing credits, parts in those same, and their myriad human contacts.

Both give others hope: Biles, that young girls don’t have to train for years for a career that evaporates in their teens, and/or find herself under the power of a molester. That age can be a plus; there’s time to compete, to lose then grow and strive again for Great. DeVito, that one needn’t display twometer-perfection, and always color within the lines.

Untether! Let yourself soar! 

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OUR LAVENDER | BIZ BUZZ

Tucker Gerrick of Eastside Food Co-op

BY LINDA RAINES

Photo courtesy of Tucker Gerrick

Business: Eastside Food Co-op Your Name: Tucker Gerrick Job Title: Marketing Manager Give us a brief over view of your business and what ser vices you provide the community: Eastside is Northeast Minneapolis’ communityowned grocery store. We focus on fresh, local and organic foods from farmers and producers who care about the health of people and our planet.

How many years have you been in business? Eastside is celebrating 20 years in 2023!

What’s something unique we should know about your business?

We have an incredible selection of fermented products. Also, we’ve got some incredible hot bar items that are local faves.

What’s your favorite thing about your job?

Surprising and delighting folks. I love to keep people guessing and taking “what if” and turning it into reality.

What’s the best thing about working with the LGBTQ community?

When we include and support a broad range of peoples, our lives are more vibrant and enriching.

Does your business have anything new, fun or unique happening on the horizon?

We have an upcoming collaboration with one of the most iconic and recognizable properties in book publishing of the last half century.

If you weren’t doing your current job, what would you be doing?

I’d be bringing people together through shared experiences in the woods of Northern Minnesota. 

Celebrating 20 Years in Business!

Roya Moltaji, CFP , ChFC , CASL , CAP , BFA ®

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OUR LAVENDER | A DAY IN THE LIFE

D Rojas

BY LINDA RAINES

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LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

Photo courtesy of D Rojas

Where did you grow up?

Northside Minneapolis, MN Where do you live?

Southside Minneapolis, MN Powderhorn Park neighborhood.

Who do you live with?

Just me.

What is your occupation?

Carpenter – 37 years NSCRCC Union Local #322 When did you come out?

3rd grade; liked a classmate.

How’d that go?

Didn’t have any issue since I was a Tomboy and athletic and tough, LOL. When do you wake up?

4-4:30am, since 1986, Sat/Sun bon fire at 5-7am!

Body doesn’t know it’s a weekend.

Phone alarm or old school alarm?

Old school, but naturally up way before 5am, that’s the latest I can sleep.

What’s the first thing you do in the morning?

Stretch my extremities.

Breakfast?

Coffee/bagel/or oatmeal.

Coffee?

5 am on the way to work! 5 pm IF I’m off work in time before Mayday Cafe closes at 6pm.

Cream or no?

YES How do you spend your commute?

Tina and The B-Sides – CD Baricade or radio.

What do you nerd out for (gaming, music, histor y, etc.)?

Tina and The B-Sides concerts.

What music have you been digging lately?

Tina and The B-Sides. CD Barricade & Powwow music.

Is your work space tidy or a hot mess?

Hot mess and working with all men on a construction jobsite.

What’s been your favorite job?

Union Carpenter 37 years, 28 years on highway bridges; REBUILD 35W Bridge.

Favorite weeknight meal?

Mexican Tacos/Tamale/beans Tortillas.

Meatloaf.

On a usual weeknight, you are doing what?

Working till 7 pm or playing softball if off before 7pm, lol! Practicing for the MN Senior games!

Bowling/Shuffleboard/Cornhole!

Bedtime?

10 pm watch the news before falling asleep by 11 pm-midnight, before that internal clock goes

off at 4 am!

Favorite weekend activity?

Softball & Motorcycle riding. The Aliveness Project bar bingo!

What are you most proud of, and why?

NCSRCC – Union Carpenter LU #322 37 years, Being a Women & POC in a non-traditional workspace and surviving the male stigma all that time and STILL working and LOVING it!

Ashley Rukes Pride Parade been leading the TC pride parade since the early ‘80s. DykesonbikesMPLS – President or the Minneapolis, MN Chapter.

Words of wisdom to share: Keep moving forward no matter what obstacles that are placed in front of you! 

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OUR SCENE | ENTERTAINMENT

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LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

Reality TV Star

Andrew Shayde Discusses Representation in The Outdoors

BY ALEXANDER REED

to scoff at me but also the pressure of feeling like I had to represent an entire diverse queer community.” Explaining how he dealt with this pressure, Shayde continues, “There’s no way I can represent all of us so I just wanted to get out there and be myself. That’s all I can do.”

Andrew’s television appearances are part of a broader trend of broader LGBTQ+ representation. LGBTQ+ people are being cast in fields where they haven’t traditionally been highlighted. As Shayde explains, “We’re making serious headway but we aren’t done yet. We may rule in the realm of ‘Drag Race’ and be a constant on ‘Project Runway,’ but we’re still knocking down doors in sports, outdoor survivalism, strategy games, on and on”. This representation is undeniably a good thing, and Shayde believes it is good for everyone. As he explains, “Storytelling is so much better when it comes from diverse storytellers.” He believes that The Discovery Channel is moving in the right direction by showcasing more LGBTQ+ people.

Photos courtesy of Discovery Networks

The outdoors is for everyone. Nature can be harsh and beautiful, often at the same time, and these qualities have attracted all sorts of people to overcome its challenges and experience its resplendent beauty. Andrew Shayde is one person who was drawn to the allure of nature. “I’ve always loved the outdoors,” says Shayde, “I feel like adventures happen outdoors and much less so on my couch. As a kid who was always playing make believe in my head, the outdoors provided an avenue for excitement and danger.” Shayde would find wilderness adventures while hunting, fishing, hiking, camping, and more. However, Shayde, who describes himself as a “gay Robinson Crusoe”, would also encounter the ways in which intolerant people would try to claim nature for themselves.

Shayde spent several years as a Boy Scout, but eventually left because of the bullying he received from other Scouts and troop leadership. For much of its history, the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) excluded open gay people from the organization. It was only in 2013 that the BSA voted to repeal this ban. Describing the bullying he experienced as a Scout, Shayde said “It was enough that Scouts ceased to be fun, so I left. I still hate that”. Moving on from Scouting, Shayde took up cheerleading and found it incredibly enjoyable.

According to Shayde, there is work to be done to make the outdoors experience more inclusive for everyone. “I don’t think LGBTQ+ or perhaps even people of color feel very welcomed in the outdoors.” Shayde explained when asked about the relationship between LGBTQ+ people and the broader outdoors community. “This may be because we’re not as often introduced to it at a young age but also because of some of the people that seem to stake claim in the outdoors. I’ve been to campgrounds and have seen confederate flags waving and have heard derogatory words thrown my way. It sucks that some racist and/or homophobic think they own nature and popular outdoor areas. On the flipside, I have met some of the kindest, most open minded, sometimes perfectly-hippie, people while out on hikes or camping.”

In 2002, Shayde made his reality show debut on season 3 of CBS’s “The Amazing Race,” and from there he would appear on other outdoor oriented television programs. Shayde and a team of his LGBTQ+ friends appeared on CBS’s “Buddy Games” and has appeared on The Discovery Channel’s “Naked and Afraid” franchise three times. Notably, Shayde is one of only a small handful of contestants on “Naked and Afraid” to be openly gay across its entire 15 season history. For Shayde, his appearances on “Naked and Afraid” represent an opportunity for broader representation, saying: “I love that our community has representation across shows like ‘[RuPaul’s] Drag Race’ and ‘Project Runway,’ but I want the world to see how diverse our community is. I have no fashion sense for those series, but I can survive in the wild using my hunting and foraging skills. I don’t mind getting real-real dirty.”

By competing on a show like “Naked and Afraid,” Shayde widens the scope of how LGBTQ+ people are depicted on television, allowing for more people to see themselves reflected on screen. Not only can LGBTQ+ be fabulous fashionistas, but they can also be resourceful survivalists.

Being one of the few gay contestants to ever appear on “Naked and Afraid” came with challenges. “Going into surviving on ‘Naked and Afraid’ (3 times now) I felt like I had this added pressure because I’m gay,” Shayde says. “I felt I didn’t want to show weakness to allow homophobes the chance

Figures like Shayde not only let more LGBTQ+ people see themselves on screen, but they also grant others a demonstration to others about the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community.

Nature existed long before any human bigotry, and it will outlast it as well. Andrew Shayde and many other LGBTQ+ survivalists have found joy and adventure from the outdoors, and hopefully in time nobody will feel excluded from partaking in the varied beauty of the natural world, forging their own stories in the great outdoors. 

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

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OUR SCENE | TRAVEL

(This page) Photos courtesy of Visit Fort Wayne. (Opposite page) Photos by Carla Waldemar

Fort-issimo!

BY CARLA WALDEMAR

Revolutionary War General Anthony Wayne’s veteran’s benefits included an assignment at a log fort in the wilds of Indiana. Its restored buildings still stand at the confluence of the three rivers that braid the city of 220,000 which today bears the general’s name: Fort Wayne.

It’s come a long way, baby. Today its citizens march to a different drummer in this vibrant outpost of art. It’s a trailhead for a host of bold murals (100 and counting) livening downtown’s brick facades and alleyways (DIY tour maps available at the Visitors Center).

My favorite: the giant buffalo adorning a two-story wall in The Landing, on the spot where the city first arose, and today a dining/shopping enclave. The Landing also hosts the city’s first boutique hotel, The Bradley, named for the local goddess of entrepreneurship Vera Bradley, creator of quilted, patterned fabric bags and purses. (If you don’t recognize—and worship—her name, just ask your mom or sister.)

The hotel’s rooftop bar showcases a panoramic vista of the city, while its streetside café serves the world’s best avo toast, which became my daily breakfast. The Pearl—designed as an arts enclave, is under construction right next door.

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LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

But no need to wait for visual bling: Just head to the nearby Museum of Art to ogle its stunning collection of art glass: upwards of 400 shimmering pieces, including a life-size glass kimono and a masterpiece by glass-master Dale Chihuly. The energy is contagious: “No place in the state has this much art density” is the local boast.

Ogle art of a horticultural nature at the city’s lush Botanical Garden, conveniently located smack in the middle of downtown.

And no place has this much Lincoln, either.

Those braggin’ rights belong to the Public Library’s Rolland Center. “We get more eyes on our collection [than in the President’s many other museums]—and it’s a 21st-century experience…. not just gawking,” emphasizes library ringmaster Curt Wichter. Peek at the Lincoln family’s own photo album, for instance.

Or young Abe’s scrawled notes in his books.

Then proceed to the building’s famed Genealogy Center, where anyone and everyone can trace one’s ancestry, all—get this!—free of charge. And with expert assistance. “We don’t just point you; we help you,” Curt underscores.

The center can even restore faded vintage photos. (geneologycenter.org) Tracing a building’s genealogy can inspire discoveries, too. The city’s former General Electric complex—once a mini-metropolis of 10,000 workers, which shut its doors in 2015—

has been reborn as mixed-use space anchored by Union Street Market, a vibrant food hall luring hungry fans of barbecue, Thai, Mexican, Korean and more.

Tastemakers season life all throughout the metro. At GK Sweets, dynamo baker Grace Kelly fulfils her mission to “bring joy to downtown” with her ethereal croissants, bagels and cookies.

So does the Culinary Institute of America-trained couple behind Brooklyn Pints, a pint-sized but potently tasty ice cream shop, where fave flavors include London Fog and Thai Tea. Some of the city’s best breweries also excel in beyond-pub grub. Hoppy Gnome satisfies foodies with the likes of tuna tartare, carne asada tacos, and churros to pair with its outstanding Blonde Ale, October Festival, Prescription IPA, and best-selling Amber.

So does Junk Ditch. Get over the brewery’s location-based name and enjoy its Midwest Nice, a cold IPA, paired with feta-laced fried Brussels sprouts; Dachville, its German-style Pilsner partnered with salmon, faro, black rice, cashew cream and chili oil; and a seductively spicy Rye Porter aside sweet-potato cheesecake topped with apple sorbet.

Those whose hearts beat faster at the words “smoked Bourbon” know to demand the cocktail menu at Copper Spoon, where I paired the smooth sipper with scallops the size of tennis balls atop

Continued on page 18 LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

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OUR SCENE | TRAVEL

Photos courtesy of Visit Fort Wayne

Parmesan risotto. Bonus: the café’s cushy booths overlook the town’s ballpark.

Despite the name, beverages are not the forte at Sweetwater: Music is. Launched in the ’70s by Chuck Surak as a mobile recording studio out of his VW bus, the mesmerizing operation has ballooned into the top online retailer, of all breeds, In. The. Country. While guitars of every stripe and price point are its best-sellers, virtually every instrument is represented on the show floor for customers to try before they buy, along with sound and recording equipment—everything but your lead singer. Performances, lessons and even a convenient cafeteria are part of the Sweetwater experience.

But boys just wanna have fun, right? At least, after dark. The city’s primo gay bar Babylon (including its Bears’ Den) covers all bases from dance floor to live entertainment (Della Licious, anyone?) and theme parties.

For more info, see www.VisitFortWayne.com.

Then venture out into the surrounding countryside. The town of Warsaw’s showpiece is Warsaw Cut Company, a family enterprise etching goblets and more since 1911. Whetstone Woodenware, in nearby Silver Lake, turns maple hardwood into kitchenware—everything from spoons to cutting boards; demos, too. Annie Oakley Perfumery, in Ligonier, offers visitors scents to mix and match to create one’s own personal perfume (men’s scents like Stampede, Caballero and Wild West, too).

Winona on the Lake—Indiana’s answer to Florida’s Seaside enclave—unreels sweet canal-hugging homes facing a similar row of indie retailers—apparel to edibles and more, culminating in Cerulean, with its stylish bento-box menu.

Which calls for wine. Visit Two EE’s in Huntington for a classy (yet low-key) tasting experience and tour led by EE’s Emily and Eric. Then head to Country Heritage Winery—Indiana’s Winery of the Year in 2017—for a side of pizza with the vino of your choice. Your purchase begs for beef, right? Find primo Wagyu at The Emporium, along Roanoke’s quaint Main Street. For more info, see www.visitindiana.com. 

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LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

Photo provided by Michael Hughes. Image by Ryan Coit

OUR SCENE | COMMUNITY

From Rochester to IML – via Oklahoma City

BY LAVENDER

The Leather/BDSM Community remains vital and vibrant here in Minnesota. It is no longer just a thing to do in the Twin Cities, as there are members of the community that live beyond the 494/694 loop.

One such person is Michael Hughes from Rochester. Recently, he did the one thing that has never been done at Oklahoma City’s Mr. Route 66 contest – taking the title as a non-local winner.

It has been quite the journey for Hughes after 25 years of being a part of the Leather/BDSM community. “I first found the community in my mid-20s in Houston, Texas,” Hughes explained. “I was not heavily involved at that point, but wanted to be. I began my transition around that same time, from female to male.”

Hughes continued: “I ended up moving about a year later to San Diego, California where I began to get more involved in Leather. During this time, I was in a short, but very abusive D/s [Dom/sub] relationship, and once I got out of that situation, I swore off Leather. I didn’t want anything to do with it, or anyone involved in it. That was about 1998. In 2002, I met the person that would not only change

my attitude towards the Leather community – but change my life.”

Hughes have been married to his wife Shay for 20-plus years. She also serves as Hughes’ Daddy in the relationship. “I wanted to represent the trans community and believe that we do belong – as well as share my love of Leather and the greater Leather community,” reflected Hughes.

Representation matters in our community.

Not just because Hughes represents the Leather/BDSM community as a trans man, but he represents a geographical area that is not on everyone’s radar – Rochester, Minnesota. “It’s so interesting because there are Leather/Kink people in the Rochester area – I personally know some,” said Hughes. “But Rochester seems to have a complicated relationship with the LGBT community as a whole. We live in the shadow of the Mayo Clinic, which can be both progressive and conservative. We don’t have any actual LGBT bars here, which is unusual for a city this size, I think.”

Hughes continued to explain that “it can be hard to get the LGBT community out and organized. I’m sure there are far more Leather people than I know in this area, but Shay and I, and most of our friends, go to the Cities to socialize. I wold love to see Rochester come out of the closet, but not sure it’ll ever offer what the Twin Cities does for this community.”

The next step for Hughes is to raise funds to compete in the International Mr./Mrs. Leather contest in Chicago in April of 2024. That fundraiser will be held at the Eagle MPLS on November 18. “We will have a beer bust, a 50/50 raffle, awesome door prizes, donated by Bondesque as well as Sir Rat Leather in Houston, Texas,” explained Hughes. “We will also have some Kink 101 demonstrations going on for those new to Leather/BDSM and curious.”

“The event is to raise money for my travel fund to help me attend events around the country,” Hughes continued. “I have a pretty busy travel schedule, with trips monthly, some months, more than one! The proceeds will also help me in my IML run. My goal with the fundraiser, aside from being able to fulfill my mission as Mr. Route 66 Leather, is to connect people in the Leather community and invite new people in and provide a safe space to see what Leather and Kink are all about.”

The ultimate goal for Hughes is IML next year in Chicago. “I am so excited to step onto the IML stage and represent not only my title and the Route 66 title family – but also to represent the Twin Cities and showcase my wonderful sponsors,” said Hughes. “IML is the oldest and largest Leather competition, and such a revered part of LGBT and Leather history. Bringing my best to this competition, win or lose, makes me proud, and hopefully makes my OKC and MPLS families proud!” 

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

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Photo courtesy of BigStock/ Peerawich Phaisitsawan

OUR SCENE | FINANCE

What You Need To Know About How To Get Your Business LGBT Business Enterprise Certified

According to the NGLCC’s website, “certified LGBTBE companies are routinely sought after by NGLCC Corporate Partners who are looking to increase their spend with the LGBTQ business community through our internal, proprietary database.”

There are several benefits for having the certificate, including giving businesses the opportunity to compete for sourcing contracts with NGLCC’s partners, gaining access to billions of dollars in life-changing business opportunities and national recognition by America’s top corporations as a LGBTBE supplier, according to the NGLCC’s website. “[Businesses] benefit from having this certificate because they have access to business they wouldn’t otherwise,” Nabozny said.

Nabozny said he is “proud to be gay” and to have the business certification to show others he is a LGBTE owned business. To him, it is important for people to know.

In a broader context, Nabozny believes this certification is important because it demonstrates businesses that are supportive of the LGBT community. He has had friends and clients who have gone to other agents, later finding out they are unsupportive of the LGBT community.

“It’s important to support businesses that support us,” Nabozny said. “It’s important to me, as a consumer, that I know who I’m doing business with and that I’m giving my business to someone that’s not just supportive of me, but also isn’t working against my rights.”

BY MADISON ROTH

Jamie Nabozny is a man who loves to talk, help and empathize with people. This was one of the reasons he decided to go into finance and become an independent agent with American Family Insurance.

20 LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

Jamie Nabozny

It’s also a reason he decided to obtain the LGBT Business Enterprise (LGBTBE) Certification through the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC).

“It’s about people,” Nabozny said. “I love people; I understand people and no matter what kind of business you’re in, you have to be good at that and showing empathy.”

Businesses can apply to become LGBTBE certified by being at least 51% owned, operated, managed and controlled by an LGBTQ+ person who are either U.S. citizens or lawful permanent residents. Other criteria include exercising independence from any non-LGBTQ+ business enterprise and having its headquarters in the U.S. After the application is turned in, it will take 60 to 90 days to be processed by the NGLCC. Once granted, the certification lasts for three years before having to be renewed.

He added it is crucial to have awareness regarding who they do business with because when dealing with the more serious aspects of life, clients should be able to go to someone they trust and know is looking out for their best interests.

Nabozny gave the example of how he represents several trans people as an agent. One of his clients was setting up life insurance but did not know if they needed to write down their gender at birth or if they could write down the gender they identify as. After being told they could go forward with the life insurance process by writing down the gender they identify as, Nabozny said the client felt “so at ease” about the rest of the process.

“Part of being a certified business means that people can feel safe and comfortable coming here for their insurance needs without worrying about how they’re going to be perceived or judged,” Nabozny said.

Part of being in the business world means being seen by those around you. Nabozny added the more people feel seen by a business, the more likely they are to work with them when it comes down to their personal business.

The LGBTQ community spends more than $917 billion every year on goods and services, and they are more than 75% likely to change brands when they know they are LGBTQ-inclusive, according to the NGLCC’s website. This is especially important due to the fact that 4% of Minnesota’s workforce identifies as part of the LGBT community, that number being around 135,000 people in the state.

Very few businesses in Minnesota have the LGBTBE certification, and Nabozny hopes that the more he talks about the certification, the more businesses will go through the process of getting their own certificate.

“We as a community can know where we’re spending our dollars,” Nabozny said. “LGBT certification is a way for our community to know what businesses, small businesses in our community, are part of the community and are supportive of the community.”

Despite the long process of being certified, Nabozny encourages businesses to proceed with becoming certified. Applying for the certification is free if you are a part of Quorum, Minnesota’s LGBTQ+ and Allied Chamber of Commerce.

He added there is “a light at the end of the tunnel” and sticking with the process of the application is worth getting because it matters to the community.

Along with Nabozny, ImageHaus, OutLoud Promotions and WonderWoman Construction are some of the Twin Cities businesses that are LGBTBE certified. You can find other businesses here.

Nabozny has gained more access to clients because of his certification and has been happy to help give back to the LGBTQ+ community when it comes to personal business affairs. It is one of his favorite parts of his job, according to Nabozny, since he loves being able to give back to the community in any way he can.

“I want to be recognized in the community as someone who cares about the community and gives back to the community, and I hope other people will see that,” Nabozny said.

For more information on how to become LGBTBE certified, visit the NGLCC website: www.nglcc.org/lgbtbe-certification 

Balance your priorities for a more confident tomorrow.

Amie Burnett, JD, CFP® Financial Advisor 952.921.3371 7101 York Ave S, Ste 330 Edina, MN 55435 marie.a.burnett@ampf.com ameripriseadvisors.com/ marie.a.burnett

Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and CFP (with plaque design) in the U.S. Ameriprise Financial Services, LLC. Member FINRA and SIPC. © 2023 Ameriprise Financial, Inc.

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Photos by Joey Amato

OUR SCENE | FINANCE

Investing In Your Future

BY SUSAN SWAVELY

The future can be a very exciting thing to think about. In fact, when most people are asked about what their future has in store, they talk about dream jobs, families, marriage, vacations and trips, and all of the other fun, beautiful things life has to offer. The subject of investing doesn’t usually even crack the top ten things we think about when we picture the future, which makes sense. Investing can be daunting, confusing, and frankly, a little boring.

Stay with me, though! Investing is crucial to building wealth and being able to live a comfortable life, especially if you want to be able to retire. In this day in age, saving alone is proving to be an insufficient way to accrue enough money to easily retire, or even retire at all. But there is a solution: investing is a key component to planning for the future. LGBTQ+ author, Joey Amato (he/ him), noticed that among many young people, himself included, and particularly the LGBTQ+ community, weren’t taking advantage of investing young.

22 LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

This wasn’t because they didn’t want to, or because they were lazy. Young queer people simply had a fundamental lack of knowledge about investing, and without the right tools, successful investing isn’t possible. Amato saw this and knew he needed to combat this issue as quickly as he could. He set out to empower young queer people with the information they need to make good choices about their futures.

This is why Joey Amato, a lifelong advocate for LGBTQ+ inclusion, wrote the perfect guide to investing in the future: Everyday Investing: A Practical Guide to Personal Financial Growth.

Everyday Investing breaks down investing in a way readers can easily digest, and is meant to be used as a tool for the future. Amato says, “My book is an easy-to-read book about the fundamentals of investing. It gives readers a solid foundation and will make them confident about the investing world when they read it.

They will learn about terms commonly used and methods implemented to help them create an investment strategy that meets their needs.”

Amato felt the need to write a book about investing with the LGBTQ+ community specifically in mind for many reasons, including his own his personal journey with his sexuality and finances. He says, “I came out in my late twenties, after accruing tons of debt (which had nothing to do with me being closeted for so many years). I worked tirelessly to get myself to a place where I felt financially secure.

During my journey as an out and proud gay man, I observed the spending habits of my friends and realized they were making the same financial mistakes I made in my 20s, but they were now in their 30s and sometimes 40s.

I knew that time was not on their side, and I wanted to help them as soon as possible.”

Living in a world that spotlights lavish travel and other exorbitant activities on social media might make people, especially people in the queer community, feel like they have

to spend a lot of money to stay relevant, or, as Amato says, “keep up with the gay Joneses.”

Of course, buying fun things is fine if you have the means for it, but going into debt is almost never the answer. Amato says, “I did this, and I learned my lesson. I want to do my part to ensure that other LGBTQ people don’t make the same mistakes I made.”

The good news is there’s still plenty of time to learn! Amato did the heavy lifting of teaching himself how to invest and handle finances, and his book breaks it down for readers to understand as well. Amato didn’t learn about investing in a traditional way, either. He says, “I taught myself the ropes of investing mainly by watching CNBC. For a time, I was watching the station all day long, from the opening bell to the closing bell. I became obsessed with learning about investing and how the stock market worked. I also began reading articles online that talk more about the intricacies of investing and the importance of starting a young age.”

With his newfound knowledge, he immediately knew that he couldn’t keep it to himself.

He says, “I had been thinking about writing a book for a few years. I actually began with a few blog posts and videos but over time I decided that a book would be a better way to put my thoughts in one place.” Centralizing all of this information into one place makes it more accessible to everyone, which is Amato’s goal.

He wants queer people to know that gaining wealth is possible, and they now have the tools to start. He says, “Queer people need to realize the power of investing and how important it can be. A lot of people are afraid of investing because they see what happened during the financial crisis, but the only true way to grow your money is through investing–especially if you don’t have a high-paying job.”

Community is about more than just what’s happening right now—it’s also about acknowl-

edging the past, and, very importantly, understanding the future. Joey Amato is making huge strides to ensure the financially secure futures of LGBTQ+ people with his new book, Everyday Investing: A Practical Guide to Personal Financial Growth. His contributions to the LGBTQ+ community don’t stop there, though. He is also currently working to create Pride Journeys, a travel website dedicated to finding cities and businesses that welcome LGBT travelers, so queer people can feel safe when they travel. Amato says, “I would love people to follow me as I discover safe spaces for LGBTQ people to travel.”

Learn to invest so you can invest in your future.

To purchase Everyday Investing: A Practical Guide to Personal Financial Growth, visit www.

Amazon.com or other booksellers – both online and in person.

To visit Pride Journeys, check out the website: www.pridejourneys.com 

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Denise Nix. Photo provided by ROR Tax Professionals

OUR SCENE | FINANCE

Navigating LGBTQ+ Finances Tailored Financial Insights from ROR Tax Professionals

BY JEN PEEPLES

As we celebrate the 10-year milestone of Marriage Equality in Minnesota, it’s evident that the financial landscape for LGBTQ+ couples has transformed. To help our community navigate these evolving complexities, we turn to the expertise of ROR Tax Professionals’ very own, Denise Nix, an Enrolled Agent and Senior Partner. ROR Tax Professionals are locally known as, “a firm dedicated to the tax preparation and planning needs of individuals and small businesses.” Here, we delve into invaluable insights and advice, specially curated for LGBTQ+ individuals.

Marriage equality has undoubtedly marked a significant step forward, but it hasn’t eliminated financial challenges for LGBTQ+ couples. Among the primary challenges is finding professionals who truly comprehend their unique financial situations, be it taxes, estate planning, retirement, or more. The key is collaborating with experts who can unravel complex financial matters, mak-

24 LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

ing tax and financial planning a smooth experience. An ideal advisor for this journey is one who is within the LGBTQ+ community.

Nix explained that there are several common misunderstandings that plagues many LGBTQ+ individuals. One in particular is “the belief that they can still file taxes as ‘single’ after getting married.” She further explained that this is no longer the case. The new norm is choosing between ‘married filing jointly’ or ‘married filing separately’ when tackling taxes.

Moreover, tax deductions have undergone significant changes in recent years, with higher standard deductions reducing the need for itemization. However, tax credits have been on the rise, particularly for those making ecofriendly home improvements or adopting electric vehicles. Adoptive parents can also take advantage of expanded adoption tax credits. An annual consultation with a tax professional can prove beneficial in identifying the optimal filing status and maximizing eligible deductions.

The approach to LGBTQ+ financial services is inherently diversified, mirroring the unique situations of everyone. We dove deeper to get more information from Nix as a Top-tier advisor. To spot a good one with an efficient business process refrain from a one-size-fits-all approach, instead offering personalized advice and meticulously examining individual circumstances. This ensures that clients stay well-informed about the ever-changing tax laws that affect them. For instance, a young LGBTQ+ professional may receive different retirement savings strategies than an older same-sex couple nearing retirement. Quality advisors have the knack for simplifying intricate financial subjects, effectively alleviating stress surrounding financial matters.

Denise also explained that Estate planning is a critical piece of the puzzle for LGBTQ+ couples. It guarantees that assets transfer seamlessly in the event of death or incapacitation. Maintaining updated beneficiaries for retirement accounts, life insurance policies, bank accounts, and even your home’s title is essential. Combine these thorough beneficiary designations with a comprehensive estate plan, including a will, power of attorney, healthcare directive, and potentially a trust in certain situations. Regular reviews of beneficiaries every 3-5 years are necessary, adapting to evolving relationships and laws. To navigate this complex terrain, it’s advisable to seek the guidance of an estate planning attorney who is wellversed in LGBTQ+ concerns.

Advocacy remains crucial, as discrimination can still have an impact on finances. No one should pay more taxes than legally required, and sexual orientation or gender identity should never limit access to spousal benefits. Fair and equal treatment in all financial

matters is the right of every LGBTQ+ individual. Advisors who understand these struggles can empower their clients better.

For LGBTQ+ families embarking on the journey of adopting children, the adoption tax credit is a valuable resource. It offers up to $14,300 per child for qualified adoption expenses. To maximize this credit, working with a tax professional to navigate income limits and phase-outs is highly recommended. Proactive planning for adoption costs can significantly smooth the utilization of the credit.

Young LGBTQ+ individuals commencing their financial lives should cultivate healthy habits early on. This includes learning to budget, saving regularly, and living within their means. Establishing an emergency fund with 3-6 months’ worth of expenses is a wise move. Avoiding the accumulation of credit card debt and consumer loans is equally crucial.

Commencing retirement savings immediately, especially if your employer offers matching 401k contributions, is a smart move. Consider Roth accounts to let your savings grow tax-free. Aligning your spending with your values and budgeting for what matters most to you is key. Enlisting the services of an LGBTQ+-friendly advisor early in this journey sets the stage for long-term financial success.

For older LGBTQ+ individuals, the key financial challenges often revolve around Social Security, healthcare, and retirement planning. Social Security benefits for married same-sex couples were once a labyrinth of complexities, but these have been simplified. Medicare enrollment is of paramount importance at age 65, and supplemental plans can help keep healthcare costs in check. As retirement savings may require adjustments to ensure financial security throughout retirement, it’s imperative to consult an advisor well-versed in the specific concerns of elder LGBTQ+ individuals.

Optimizing taxes and finances as an LGBTQ+ individual involves: – Collaborating with professionals who not only understand your unique needs but also provide customized guidance, with a specialization in LGBTQ+ finances.

– Staying updated on annual changes in tax law and deductions to ensure correct filing as a married couple.

– Crafting thorough estate plans, including wills, directives, and keeping beneficiary designations up to date.

– Advocating for fair treatment and equal access to spousal benefits.

– Maximizing adoption tax credits when growing your family through fostering or adoption.

– Establishing strong financial habits early, including budgeting, saving, and debt management.

– Planning for the long-term in areas such as Social Security, Medicare, and retirement.

– Ensuring that your spending aligns with your values and prioritizing what matters most to you.

By following these comprehensive recommendations and working with advisors who understand the unique needs of the LGBTQ+ community, individuals and couples can take charge of their financial lives and secure lasting security. The 10th anniversary of Marriage Equality is a reminder of how far we’ve come, but it also underscores the continued need for vigilance and expertise on the path to genuine financial equality. With ROR Tax Professionals as your trusted guides, the journey becomes more manageable and prosperous. 

ROR is looking for new tax pros!

My work/life balance outside of tax season is important to me, and just one of the reasons I love working at ROR!

SERVING THE MPLS AREA IN ALL WEATHER CONDITIONS FOR OVER 40 YEARS. 952.206.6775

Flexible hybrid working environment year around – remote or in office fits my lifestyle - with long weekends outside of tax season.

And of course, the people that I work with and the clients I have make life grand.

Get Estimate

Come and check us out!

James Tait – Staff Accountant Call or email: denisen@rortax.com today!

612-822-7177 | RORTax.com Les Jones Roofing | 941 W 80th St, Bloomington, MN 55420 | 952-206-6775

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OUR SCENE | GIVING “In the same way organizations are working not only on Give to the Max day but all year long, organizations have needs,” says Jenna Ray, Deputy Executive Director of GiveMN. “The success of GiveMN is dependent on the generosity of Minnesotans. We’re hopeful and confident that Minnesotans will step up to support the 15th annual GiveMN.” The nonprofits and schools that GiveMN supports rely on the donations from this event — and through the holiday season and beyond — to keep doing their valuable work to improve the lives for Minnesotans statewide.

What Organizations Are Involved?

There are hundreds of thousands of organizations across all kinds of causes. You can use the search tool at GiveMN.org to filter by cause, including BIPOC and LGBTQ+ organizations.

A few notable LGBTQ+ organizations to support this year include Outfront Minnesota, Minnesota Ice Swimming, and Shakespearean Youth Theater. Outfront Minnesota fights for LGBTQ+ justice and equity. Minnesota Ice Swimming is Minnesota’s only LGBTQ+ masters swim team, providing a safe, affirming community for its athletes. And the Shakespearean Youth Theater offers LGBTQ+ safe, creative spaces for young people to connect with peers to share experiences.

Give to the Max When Minnesotans’ Generosity Shines

What Should I Look for in an Organization?

“For anyone who’s looking to support, whether it’s their first or fifteenth, definitely use the search tool,” says Ray. “You can browse tens of thousands of organizations by keyword, location, or category.”

BY AURORA SMITH

On November 16th, Minnesotans will celebrate Give to the Max, the annual giving holiday. Every year, thousands of Minnesotans come together to support the causes that they love and that make life better for them across the state.

What is Give to the Max?

Why is Give to the Max Important?

Donations to nonprofits and schools have been trending downward nationwide the past few years, but Minnesotans have continued to stay strong through that downward trend, making Minnesota one of the most generous states.

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Photos provided by GiveMN

Give to the Max, or GiveMN, works to connect donors and supporters with nonprofits and schools to help make Minnesota a better place.

It began in 2009, and since then, Minnesotans have generated more than 290 million dollars to support more than 10,000 organizations across the state, including LGBTQ+ organizations.

It’s more than just a single day, though November 16th is the “main” giving date. GiveMN also marks the start of the holiday season, when Minnesotans come together to celebrate the hardworking folks who power the causes they support.

working in the areas I feel strongly about or match my values? Are there causes that can help remedy inequity?

How Can I Give Responsibly?

“I would ask folks to give generously at whatever level is meaningful and achievable for you,” says Ray. She emphasizes that donations of all sizes have an impact on communities throughout the state.

As this is the 15th annual Give to the Max event, Ray also suggests honoring that with some form of “15” in your donation. “I would encourage folks to be thinking about, for this year, there are ways to celebrate by giving in 15s. Whether you give to 15 organizations or $15 donations or increase your giving by 15%.”

GiveMN.org also has tools to connect donors with organizations directly, so they can learn how best to support their chosen cause all year long.

“One of the things I really encourage folks to do is to take the celebration beyond the moment they hit ‘donate.’ However and wherever they choose to give, I encourage folks to think of the day as a celebration and find ways to be involved,” says Ray.

A Final Note One way Ray suggests narrowing down your search is to think about an organization that you or a loved one might have worked with or benefitted from in the past. She also encourages potential donors to think about causes they’re passionate about or that align with their values.

Additionally, you can donate to organizations that tend to face additional barriers to funding, like BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and women-founded groups. Organizations that operate in more rural areas of the state are also a great choice.

A few questions Ray recommends asking are: Am I connected or are my loved ones connected to a particular cause? Are there causes

Minnesotans are notoriously generous, and GiveMN is a celebration of that, of not only the donors but also the nonprofits and schools who work hard every day to support our communities. These donations help to ensure the celebration can continue for the next 15 years and beyond.

“The thing about GiveMN is it’s really a grassroots fundraising effort,” says Ray. “The fact that so many organizations and donors are coming together, and we choose year after year to celebrate generosity is what helps to support and preserve a tradition like GiveMN in the face of uncertainty around giving.”

Ray’s last piece of advice: “If your finances aren’t as restricted, please expand your donation to support the nonprofits that make Minnesota a great place to live and work.” 

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OUR SCENE | GIVING

Red Running For Their Lives

seeking care, from talking to people in their community or their partners.”

Boyer knows these stigmas all too well, all too personally. “I’m a person living with a HIV,” Boyer proclaims. “I was diagnosed in 2016.” This stigma-inducing designation nudged Boyer to the Minneapolis-based Aliveness Project which describes itself as “Minnesota’s leading community-based organization of services, advocacy, and education for people living with or at risk for HIV.” The Project was a place that was going to influence Boyer’s personal aliveness in a two-pronged way.

“I first came to the Aliveness Project as a member,” Boyer continues, describing someone assisted by the organization. “I received services and completely fell in love with the mission of this organization. I wanted to be an active part of this community.” That want crystallized when Boyer become the Director of Development for the Aliveness Project.

Thanks in part to Boyer’s unique perspective, the Aliveness Project provides an experience free of judgment, condemnation, and shunning for any who partake of their services.

Promises Boyer, “People can come here and be themselves regardless of HIV status.”

Then again, maybe Boyer’s perspective isn’t entirely unique. “That’s the thing about the Aliveness Project: so much of our staff, so many people on our board and in our leadership are people represented in the community,” Boyer reports. “Whether they’re people who are living with HIV or who take PrEP or are in recovery or are part of the queer community, they’re represented. You can really tell the difference.”

The Aliveness Project Puts HIV Stigma Under There

BY TERRANCE GRIEP

Each of us has them: the secret parts of ourselves which might be, if they stopped being secret, judged or condemned or shunned by society writ large—the greasy things, the goofy things, the guilty things, the dark quirks and the even-darker quirks we hide from the cold ignorance of the outside world by keeping them swathed, swaddled, buttoned, laced, and zipped.

28 LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

Photos by Tyler Croat

They are internalized stigmas.

Despite the nigh-miraculous advancements in prevention and preemption, the stigma around HIV/AIDS has persisted like late autumn darkness…but that cruel branding can lead to more damage than just being judged, condemned, or shunned. “HIV stigma is what kills people,” alerts Dylan Boyer, Aliveness Project’s Director of Development. “HIV stigma is what keeps people from

Raising awareness of AIDS-related challenges is part of the Project’s mission…but awareness can’t be raised until awareness exists. “HIV isn’t in the headlines anymore, and it’s not on top of everyone’s mind, but it’s certainly something that still happens,” Boyer observes. “We’re still seeing the same number of new cases yearly. One person a day, or about 300 Minnesotans, tests positive for HIV every year. We have the tools for that number to go down, but it’s not [doing so].”

Perhaps the unlikeliest such tool is the fourth manifestation of the Aliveness Project’s imminent fundraiser, an annual get-together that entails stigma-stripping at its stripiest. “The Red Undie Run is a premier community event that brings awareness to World AIDS Day and the work of the Aliveness Project,” the Aliveness Project announces via its website. On (or around) World AIDS Day–“an international day dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection and mourning those who’ve died of the disease”–the Aliveness Project uses the Red Undie Run to raise awareness like goosepimples.

As the Red Undie Run’s name implies, participants shall unswath, unswaddle, unbutton, unlace and unzip their outer wear, revealing their AIDS-ribbon-colored never-you-minds. What’s not addressed in the event’s name is that the Run will be run during that most eye-watering, nipple-hardening, nose-reddening time of the year—December 2nd, 2023, to be precise.

That day, registration will begin within Mill Ruins Park at 11:00 AM, as will packet pick up…although where nearly-nude Runners will store their picked-up packets is anyone’s guess. A half-hour later, opening ceremonies and a pre-Run warm-up will take place. At high noon, the Runners shall run from the runny Ruins end of the historic Stone Arch Bridge and back again, a distance of just over a mile. Despite the awareness-raising and stigma-smashing, the event’s primary purpose is generating funds for the Aliveness Project’s work, so Runners will have made arrangements to exchange this back-and-forth for ponies, monkeys, and Benjamins. At 12:15 PM, a warm-up party will begin at the Eagle MN, presumably attended in that moment by Runners blessed with superspeed. Closing ceremonies will commence at 1:00 PM. All of these efforts will transpire in a space created, prepared, and maintained by groups of volunteers: the Route Team will salt the bridge

before the Run and offer moral support through its duration; the Registration Team will assist Runners with, well, you know, registration; and, naturally, all of this immodest razzle-faddle will be keenly screened by the Run’s Medical Team, all of whom will have presumably spent the previous night boning up on “The Treating of the Symptoms of WellIntended Hypothermia.”

Under other circumstances, half-naked zipping across an old bridge and back again might be considered embarrassing–even stigmatizing–but the Red Undie Run uses as its starting block the premise that unmasking a stigma is the quickest, surest way to strip it of its shameful power. Showing up the day of the event to lend morale to the lessclothed is also highly encouraged. Dylan Boyer will be there, his own internalized stigma long ago left in a fuzzy pile like discarded winter clothes. Notes the Aliveness Project’s Director of Development: “We love supporters to come out and cheer people on and enjoy the spectacle of the events. They get bigger and better every year.”

It’s not too late to participate in the Red Undie Run: www.RedUndieRun.org 

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

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Photo courtesy of BigStock/fizkes

OUR LIVES | SENIOR LIVING

A Financial Wellness Check-Up for the Golden Years

BY LINDEN M. BAYLISS

Managing our finances always feels daunting, and as we age and come into our later years, there are even more new things to think about. Who will my assets and accounts go to after I’m gone? How have my investment goals changed? Do I know who will make healthcare or financial decisions for me if I am unable to?

There is a lot to consider, but you are certainly not alone. We talked with Wealth Management Advisor Robb Clasen from U.S Bancorp Investments to help break down the important topics into bite-sized chunks. He is an active member of Twin Cities Quorum, an LGBTQ+ business Chamber of Commerce and is also a certified member of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Here are some important things to be thinking about as you check in with your financial side…

Make sure your beneficiar y designations are up to date. Beneficiaries are designated people, charities, or trusts that specific accounts will go to should you pass away. Parts of your estate that need beneficiary designations can include, but are not limited to: • Retirement accounts •Life insurance policies (including those provided by your employer) •Bank and brokerage accounts •529 education plans •Investment and mutual fund accounts •Real estate, including your home and any investment properties • Business interests • Personal property

It is important to note that a beneficiary does not have to be relative. It could be a close friend, business partner, a trust, or even a charitable organization. Naming a trust as a beneficiary is an option that can give you more control over how an asset is distributed. With a trust you can distribute an asset slowly, over time, instead of all at once. Clasen says that if you’re charitably inclined, “naming a charity as a beneficiary of a retirement plan can also be a good tax-saving strategy.”

“Failing to designate a beneficiary can be a costly mistake,” Clasen points out. If you do not designate a beneficiary for your assets, or if your primary beneficiary dies and you have not named a secondary one, your assets might become part of your estate and may have to go through the legal process called probate. The probate process may mean extra time and additional costs, which could have easily been avoided with an updated beneficiary designation.”

Make sure you have a will in place.

Wills document how you want your assets distributed after you die, and include everything else that does not have a designated beneficiary. A will can also include information like who you want to care for your children. Assets passed according to the terms of a will are supervised by the probate process, a courtsupervised process that is public record.

Designate a healthcare power of attorney.

A healthcare power of attorney is someone you designate to make healthcare decisions for you if you’re unable to. If something happens and you are unable to make these decisions yourself, you want to know your health is in the hands of someone you trust.

Create a healthcare directive. This is a legal document that outlines and states your wishes regarding life-saving medical events.

This can include things like where you want to receive care, your wishes regarding life support, organ donation, etc.

Designate a financial/property power of attorney. “This person will handle your property and financial matters if you’re unable to do so yourself,” Clasen says. Should a health emergency or accident happen, this person could pay your bills or manage other financial considerations on your behalf.

Decide who will be the guardian of your children (if you have any). Be sure to talk about this with your spouse or partner if you have children who are not yet adults.

Start taking your retirement distributions. The IRS requires us, at age 73, to start taking distributions from our Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs) and employment retireContinued on page 34

30 LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

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MEMORY CARE ASSISTED LIVING | LONG-TERM CARE TRANSITIONAL CARE/REHABILITATION

Call today to schedule a tour!

612.920.2030 Comprehensive wealth management strategies tailored to your needs.

Robb Clasen Wealth Management Advisor 7830 Century Boulevard, Chanhassen Office: 952-361-2917 | Cell: 952-232-9438 | robb.clasen@usbank.com U.S. Wealth Management –U.S. Bancorp Investments is a marketing logo for U.S. Bancorp Investments.

Investment and insurance products and services including annuities are: NOT A DEPOSIT • NOT FDIC INSURED • MAY LOSE VALUE • NOT BANK GUARANTEED • NOT INSURED BY ANY FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AGENCY Investment and insurance products and services are available through U.S. Bancorp Investments, the marketing name for U.S. Bancorp Investments, Inc., member FINRA and SIPC, an investment adviser and a brokerage subsidiary of U.S. Bancorp and affiliate of U.S. Bank. ©2023 U.S. Bancorp 1076505 (10/23)

3700 Cedar Lake Ave., Mpls, MN 55416 jones-harrison.org Staff proudly trained through Rainbow Health

We Are Aging Connect with local resources: Medicare | Financial help | Housing Legal help | Services The Senior LinkAge Line® is a free statewide service of the Minnesota Board on Aging in partnership with Minnesota’s area agencies on aging.

800-333-2433 LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

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COMMUNITY CONNECTION Community Connection brings visibility to local LGBTQ-friendly non-profit organizations.

To reserve your listing in Community Connection, email advertising@lavendermagazine. com.

ADOPTION & FOSTER CARE Foster Adopt Minnesota

Finding families and providing information, education, and support to Minnesota Adoptive, Foster and Kinship communities.

2446 University Ave. W., Ste. 104 St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 861-7115, (866) 303-6276 info@fosteradoptmn.org www.fosteradoptmn.org

ANIMAL RESCUE

Second Chance Animal Rescue

Dedicated to rescuing, fostering, caring for, and adopting out dogs and cats into forever homes.

P.O. Box 10533 White Bear Lake, MN 55110 (651) 771-5662 www.secondchancerescue.org

BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS

Quorum

Minnesota's LGBTQ+ and Allied Chamber of Commerce working to build, connect, and strengthen for a diverse business community.

2446 University Ave. W., Ste 112 St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 460-8153 www.twincitiesquorum.com

CASINOS

Mystic Lake Casino Hotel

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Aliveness Project

Community Center for individuals living with HIV/AIDS – on-site meals, food shelf, and supportive service.

3808 Nicollet Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55102 (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org

Family Tree Clinic

We're a sliding fee sexual health clinic and education center, now in Minneapolis.

1919 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis MN 55403 (612) 473-0800 www.familytreeclinic.org

NAMI Minnesota

(National Alliance on Mental Illness) Providing free classes and peer support groups for people affected by mental illnesses.

800 Transfer Rd. #31 St. Paul, MN 55114 (651) 645-2948 www.namihelps.org

Rainbow Health Minnesota

Meeting the health needs of LGBTQ+ people and those living with HIV with holistic service.

2700 Territorial Rd. W. St. Paul, MN 55114 General: (612) 341-2060 MN AIDSLine: (612) 373-2437 www.rainbowhealth.org

Red Door Clinic

Sexual health care for all people. Get confidential tests & treatment in a safe, caring setting.

525 Portland Ave., 4th Fl. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 543-5555 reddoor@hennepin.us www.reddoorclinic.org

LIBRARIES

Nonstop gaming excitement with slots, blackjack, bingo and more plus distinctive bars and restaurants.

2400 Mystic Lake Blvd.

Prior Lake, MN 55372 (800) 262-7799 www.mysticlake.com

Your LGBTQ+ library and community center. Free membership, events, and e-books/audiobooks. Check us out!

1220 E. Lake St. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 729-2543 www.qlibrary.org

ENVIRONMENT

MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS

The Nature Conservancy

Quatrefoil Library

Radio K

TNC is an environmental nonprofit working to create a world where people and nature thrive.

1101 W. River Pkwy., Ste. 200 Minneapolis, MN 55415-1291 (612) 331-0700 minnesota@tnc.org www.nature.org/minnesota

Radio K is the award-winning studentrun radio station of the University of Minnesota.

330 21st. Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55455 (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org

EVENT VENUES

Create your own adventure at MNHS historic sites and museums around Minnesota. mnhs.org

Landmark Center

A classic venue, with a grand cortile and beautiful courtrooms, accommodates celebrations of all sizes.

75 W. 5th St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 292-3228 www.landmarkcenter.org

GRANTMAKERS/FUNDERS PFund Foundation

PFund is the LGBTQ+ community foundation that provides grants to students and grants to non-profits.

PO Box 3640 Minneapolis, MN 55403 612-870-1806 www.pfundfoundation.org

32 LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

MUSEUM

Minnesota Historical Society

Walker Art Center

Showcasing the fresh, innovative art of today and tomorrow through exhibitions, performances, and film screenings.

725 Vineland Pl. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 375-7600 www.walkerart.org

PERFORMING ARTS

Chanhassen Dinner Theaters

The nation’s largest professional dinner theater and Minnesota’s own entertainment destination.

501 W. 78th St. Chanhassen, MN 55317 (952) 934-1525 www.ChanhassenDT.com

Children’s Theatre Company

St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral

Children’s Theatre Company excites the imagination with world-class familyfriendly theatre for kids, teens, and adults.

2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 874-0400 www.childrenstheatre.org

An inclusive and affirming community transforming lives through God’s love.

519 Oak Grove St. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 870-7800 www.ourcathedral.org

Guthrie Theater

An open and affirming congregation, welcoming persons of all sexual orientations, gender expressions and identities.

1200 Marquette Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 332-3421 www.westminstermpls.org

Open to the public year-round, the Guthrie produces classic and contemporary plays on three stages.

818 S. 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org

Lyric Arts Main Street Stage

Westminster Presbyterian Church

SENIOR LIVING Friends & Co

Theater with character. Comedies, musicals, & dramas in a professional, intimate setting where all are welcomed.

420 E. Main St. Anoka, MN 55303 (763) 422-1838 info@lyricarts.org www.lyricarts.org

Fostering meaningful connections for older adults for 50+ years. Offering quick drop-in chat line, phone & visiting companionship services.

2550 University Ave. W., Ste. 260-S St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 721-1400 www.friendsco.org

Minnesota Opera

Senior Community Services

World-class opera draws you into a synthesis of beauty; breathtaking music, stunning costumes & extraordinary sets.

Performances at the Ordway Music Theater - 345 Washington St., St. Paul, MN 55102 (612) 333-6669 www.mnopera.org

Minnesota Orchestra

Led by Music Director Designate Thomas Søndergård, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras.

1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 371-5656, (800) 292-4141 www.minnesotaorchestra.org

Ordway Center for the Performing Arts

Leading performing arts center with two stages presenting Broadway musicals, concerts and educational programs that enrich diverse audiences.

345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 224-4222 info@ordway.org www.ordway.org

Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus

An award-winning chorus building community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for!

1430 W. 28th St., Ste. B Minneapolis, MN 55408 (612) 339-SONG (7664) chorus@tcgmc.org www.tcgmc.org

RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL

Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church

Everyone is welcome at Hennepin Church! Vibrant Worship. Authentic Community. Bold Outreach.

511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-5303 www.hennepinchurch.org

Plymouth Congregational Church

Many Hearts, One Song; Many Hands, One Church. Find us on Facebook and Twitter.

1900 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-7400 www.plymouth.org

Providing non-medical services that meet the changing needs of older adults & support their caregivers.

10201 Wayzata Blvd., Ste. 335 Minnetonka, MN 55305 (952) 541-1019 www.seniorcommunity.org/lav

SOCIAL SERVICES

Lutheran Social Service of MN

Serving all Minnesotans with personcentered services that promote full and abundant lives. lssmn.org | 612-642-5990 | 800-582-5260 Adoption & Foster Care | welcome@chlss.org Behavioral Health | 612-879-5320 Host Homes | hosthomes@lssmn.org Supported Decision-Making | 888-806-6844 Therapeutic Foster Care | 612-751-9395

TRAVEL DESTINATIONS Discover St. Louis Park

Minnesota’s Sweet Spot! Visit us for exceptional dining, attractions, shopping, hotels and event space.

1660 Hwy 100 S., Ste. 501 St. Louis Park, MN 55416 (952) 426-4047 www.DiscoverStLouisPark.com

Discover Stillwater

Get away to Stillwater for delicious dining, fun shops, and unique nightlife in this charming rivertown! info@DiscoverStillwater.com www.DiscoverStillwater.com

Visit Greater St. Cloud

Give yourself a break. Visit Greater St. Cloud.

1411 W. St. Germain St., Ste. 104 St. Cloud, MN 56301 (320) 251-4170 info@visitstcloud.com www.visitstcloud.com

YOUTH

The Bridge for Youth

Emergency shelter, crisis intervention, and resources for youth currently or at risk of experiencing homelessness.

1111 W. 22nd St. Minneapolis, MN 55405 (612) 377-8800 or text (612) 400-7233 www.bridgeforyouth.org

THE NETWORK Locally Owned & Operated Since 1950

Estimates 7am-4:30pm

Account Executive. Lavender Media is seeking to add a Twin Cities based full time Account Executive to our sales team. We are looking for an outgoing, organized, self-driven & motivated professional with excellent phone, writing and presentation skills.

Candidates should enjoy working directly with clients who are interested in growing their business through Lavender advertising and event sponsorships. Candidates must be local. Includes base pay + commission and an employee benefits package that includes group health, dental, life insurance and LTD. Applicants should have experience with Mac software environment, Excel, Word, social media platforms & database software such as Filemaker Pro. They should exhibit an elevated level of organization, attention to detail, the ability to work as part of a team, effective communication, self direction, enjoys working with new people and has a natural drive to grow. Please send your cover letter and resume to stephen.rocheford@lavendermagazine.com

Josh Kelly LGBTQIA+ Realtor®

612.219.2211 JoshKelly@edinarealty.com JoshKelly.edinarealty.com

Bill’s Gun Shop & range More Guns - More Lanes

MORE FUN!

billsgs.com

Uptown - MPLS Health & Beauty Spa with a Variety of Services

6125785673 bodyologympls.com LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

33

OUR LIVES | SENIOR LIVING

Robb Clasen. Photo provided by US Bancorp

GROWLERS, GRATITUDE & GIVING Join us for two nights of celebration and charitable giving!

Thursday, November 9 4:30 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.

Utepils Brewing 225 Thomas Ave N Minneapolis MN 55405 Utepils will donate $1 of each drink sold during the event.

Tuesday, November 14 4:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.

Nordic BrewPub 530 Cedar St. Monticello, MN 55362 This event is being sponsored and co-hosted by:

Thrivent will provide food for guests and a 50% match on all funds raised up to $2,000.

Chromatophore, a Minneapolis instrumental fusion jazz trio, will also be performing.

SENIOR COMMUNITY SERVICES

All proceeds from both events go toward serving more older adults and caregivers in our community.

34 LAVENDER NOVEMBER 2-15, 2023

ment accounts (401(k), 403(b), 457, SIMPLE IRA, SEP IRA) if you haven’t started taking distributions out of these accounts already.

This is called Required Minimum Distribution or RMD. If you do not take the Required Minimum distribution and you’re 73 or older, the IRS will charge you a penalty.

Review your investments and make sure they are still in line with your financial goals. “Something to think about, especially as you get older, is this question: is my money working for me? This means, are my investments producing the returns that I am hoping for? Investing in the financial markets does not guarantee return, and investing in financial markets does include risk and may include loss of principal investment,” Clasen reminds us. “There are many financial vehicles available to you that do not have market exposure; talk to a professional who can educate you and help you select the right financial vehicle. Some of these financial vehicles offer a guaranteed return.” Also consider reviewing your risk tolerance and re-balancing your portfolio if necessary.

And, some final questions for Robb…

Is there anything else that you think is important to consider for financial wellness in one’s later years not discussed above?

Robb Clasen: Some of the issues that our LGBTQIA+ community faces as we get older are the following questions: Who’s going to take care of me as I get older? How am I going to pay for this care? What happens to my assets if I pass if I do not have family or our loved ones to pass these assets to? These are some of the many conversations I have with my clients throughout our relationship, and as we build their financial journey…continuing past their life. Take inventory of what your needs, wants, and wishes are and how are they going to acted on.

Navigating this can be really intimidating and over whelming, any final words of wisdom for peace of mind?

RC: Final words would be you do not have to travel your financial journey alone. There are many resources available to you. Regretting things that we “should” have done will not serve us to get us where we want to go. Just one step in front of the other and you will be running before you know it. The first step is the hardest. Start now.

Seeking a financial advisor from a banking institution is one great resource for navigating finances, but others include AARP, Money Cava, Nerd Wallet, and LSS of MN and WI. You can book a free consultation with Robb Clasen at usbank. com/wealth-management Click “find a wealth specialist” and search him by name. 

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