"Anything but an Asian man, right?"

perceivedfemininityandinfantility. The resulting “undesirability” of Asian men often puts them at a disadvantage, from academics to worktodatinglife.

Withanoverwhelmingemphasison AFWM, Asian men can sometimes feelthattheyareatthebottomofthis hierarchy of desires. Moreover, by dating or marrying out of the race, Asianwomensupposedlyperpetuate the stereotype that Asian men are undesirable, even by members of their own race.

non-Asian man does not preclude criticizingtheemasculationofAsian men. We can deconstruct how internalizedracismaffectsour

-personal relationships and stand in solidarity on Asian/American issues withoutimplyingownershipofAsian women by Asian men or that Asian womenareincapableofthoughtfully engaging with these topics themselves. We should explore AFVM as a way to think more critically of the power and racial dynamics inherent in these relationships—not to shame Asian women for having a diminished abilitytomakedecisionsabouttheir romantic relationships. Besides, when we police who Asian women should/shouldnotdateorengagein “racializedslutshaming,”weuphold