Dapper: The Groom's Guide

T HE

G R O O M ’S

GU I DE

Dapper is a wedding guide for men. This magazine is designed to lead grooms, best men, wedding parties, and other men to a successful wedding day. Luckily for you, we laid it out chronologically, starting from engagement all the way to the reception. Dapper has your back.

We’re here to help you from start to finish. The layout goes through the key phases of the wedding process: ENGAGEMENT, FASHION, CEREMONY, and RECEPTION.

DON’T BE LATE FOR YOUR WEDDING DATE

TABLE OF CONTENTS ENGAGEMENT

The engagement period includes asking for the blessing, picking the right ring, and then popping the question.

71 14

11

ASKING FOR THE BLESSING PUT A RING ON IT

14

BE A BETTER BEST MAN

53

22

SUITE AND TIE

There are options ranging from the classy traditional black tux to colored and patterned suits.

33

SUIT AND TIE

ACCESSORIES

35

CELEBRITY FASHION

37

Table of Contents

3

FEATURING CEREMONY

The ceremony is a blur so it is best to be fully aware of what is happening before the wedding day.

49

I PROMISE YOU

33 37

CEREMONY SEQUENCE

53

DEALING WITH BRIDEZILLA WEDDING FEVER

58

RECEPTION: BAR GUIDE

Many people will tell you the best part of a wedding is the open bar, but we want you acting Dapper at the Reception.

65

WEDDING BAR GUIDE

81

TRADITIONS TOASTS

71

77

RECEPTION ETIQUETTE

4

Table of Contents

81

55

FLY ME TO THE MOON. yes dear.

Contributors THE GUYS AND GALS WHO MAKE DAPPER AS DAPPER AS IT CAN BE Jordan Hill

Lauren Sati

Cameron Brown Nora Kanally

Shelby Lemon

Celeb crush: Justin Timberlake Favorite Food: Mexican Potential 1st Wedding song: Hey Pretty Girl

by Kip Moore Ideal 1st Date: Dinner at a cool new restaurant, then go for a nice stroll around town Wost Date: One of my first dates I ever went on was with an older guy. He owned a car, but was grounded from it, so his mom had to take us to dinner and pick us up. She was a nice lady though, I think I liked her more than I liked the guy.

Feature: Reception Etiquette Department: Suit and Tie

Celeb Crush: Justin Timberlake Favorite Food: Anything with chicken Potential 1st Wedding Song: I would dance to anything sung by Michael Buble Ideal First Date: Going to the zoo or arboretum then a delicious meal with drinks Worst Date: My first boyfriend and I went to the ice skating rink. He got on the ice without me started skating really fast in hockey skates. Before I could even get my skates on, I find out he fell hard on the ice and received a large cut above his eyebrow.

Feature: Bridezilla Department: Reception

Celeb Crush: Justin Timberlake Favorite Food: Tacos Potential 1st Wedding Song: Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot Ideal 1st Date: Dinner then movie night at either house Wost Date: My first date with my previous girlfriend the waitress said I was at that same restaurant, same table with a different girl the previous day. The waitress then pulled my date away and told her not trust me for anything. she obviously didn’t get a good tip.

Feature: Be a Better Best Man Department: Put a Ring on It

Celeb crush: Justin Timberlake Favorite Food: Coffee (It’s a food group) Potential 1st Wedding Song: God Gave Me You

by Dave Barnes Ideal 1st ate: Bowling and exploring downtown Worst Date: The weather likes to rain on my paradebut really. I went to a Royals Baseball game and it was raining and cold. I was cranky, awkward with my date, and looked like a drowned cat. What happened next? I was put on the jumbotron.

Feature: Traditions Department: Ceremony and Wedding Vows

Celeb crush: Justin Timberlake Favorite Food: Pizza Potential 1st Wedding Song: It’s A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong Ideal 1st Date: Lunch, ice cream, and a walk through a park.

Worst Date: For my senior prom, this guy was going to ask me, but then chickened out. So I didn’t think I was going, until the week of prom when his best friend awkwardly asked me, and it was such an awkward prom night because of that.

Feature: Celebrity Fashion Department: Asking for the Blessing

COLE HAAN

T I F FANY

& CO.

NE W YORK SINCE 1837

ENGAGEMENT Everything from asking for the blessing to how to pick out the perfect ring. What you want and need to know about popping the question so you have the smoothest, most enjoyable engagement possible.

ASKING FOR THE BLESSING BUYING THE RING BE A BETTER BEST MAN

ENGAGEMENT

DAPPER’S GUIDE TO

ASKING FOR ( THE BLESSING

(

THE BIG QUESTION BEFORE THE “BIG” QUESTION

BEFORE YOU POP THE QUESTION, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO ASK FOR HER HAND IN MARRIAGE. SO HOW DO YOU ASK FOR THE BLESSING? WHO ARE ASKING? AND HOW DO GET OVER BEING NERVOUS?

Who are you asking?

Depending on your bride to be, and her family situation, you may or may not be asking he father for a blessing. Instead you might be asking her mother, older brother, mother and father, or some other family member.

No matter who you are asking, you might be a little nervous, But you’ve got to do it. Once you get the blessing you’ll probably feel better about popping the question.

Some History SO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR PERMISSION? Asking for the wedding blessing dates back to ancient times when marriage arrangements were made. It shows that you have respect for her parents and their wishes. Asking for a wedding blessing is definitely fading out, but it’s shows you are a gentlemen, and that you consider their thoughts and feelings for your loved one.

12

Asking for the Blessing

HELPFUL HINTS A BASIC STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO GET THE BLESSING

1

EXPRESS

2

Now it’s time to cut to the chase. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Assure him that you understand the seriousness of the commitment and that being able to spend the rest of your life with his daughter would make you the happiest man in the world.

I think the best way to start off the conversation is to express to the father your love and admiration for his daughter. Tell him how much she means to you. Mention some specific qualities that you love about her. He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time.

3

PROMISE Put yourself in this man’s shoes. He’s been the man in her life since she was baby. He’s taken care of her since she was in diapers and only wants the best for her. He wants to know that he’s handing off his little girl to someone that will take just as good care of her as he has.

Make the commitment that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter.

EXPLAIN

4

NOW ASK Now, just request the blessing and support in you asking for her daughter’s hand in marriage.

But just remember Be calm Be confident

Asking for a blessing shows you care. Her family cares too, so they will appreciate you taking the time and energy to do this.

To take a deep breath Why you love her

Asking for the Blessing

13

14

Section Title

ENGAGEMENT

ENGAGEMENT DO’S AND DON’TS

PUT A RING ON IT HOW MUCH TO SPEND ON AN ENGAGEMENT RING Even more nerve-racking than the proposal is the price of the engagement ring.

The age-old adage of spending two months salary on a ring may no longer hold true during these economic times. So how much should you spend on that ring? Consult this handy guide before taking the plunge.

FACTORS WHEN SETTING A BUDGET

Be sure to visit many locations to compare prices. online retailers offer exceptional ways to learn to shop with a no stress environment.

1. DO YOUR RESEARCH

2. CARAT, CUT, OR CLARITY

Before you set a budget, find out exact what your future fiancée may want – and how much that ring’s style, cut, and weight would potentially cost.

If you must sacrifice one area when buying a diamond engagement ring, decide whether size or quality is most important.

3. INSURANCE

4. TIME

If your ring is going to have a high material or sentimental value, you should have it insured. You could find a company or check your renters or homeowners policy.

Once you’ve narrowed down your choices, figure out exactly how long it will take to create the ring, so you can plan your proposal accordingly.

$$$ Put a Ring on It

15

ENGAGEMENT

SETTING A PRICE How much should you actually spend on an engagement ring? The answer depends on the economic situation of each couple.

The usual rule of thumb created by society, two months salary, does not work for many couples in the current economy. According to the current data, couples getting married are

only spending approximate 12% OR 1.5 MONTHS SALARY. Using this standard, we calculated how much you should spend based on yearly income.

$13,200 $13,200

$10,800

$8,400

$6,000

$3,600

$1,300

INCOME

$15,000

$30,000

$50,000

$70,000

$90,000

MILLION DOLLAR RING CLUB JAY-Z & BEYONCE

NICK CANNON & MARIAH CAREY:

$5 Million

$2.5 Million

PARIS HILTON & PARIS LATSIS:

SEAL & HEIDI KLUM

$4.7 Million

$2 Million

DONALD & MELANIA TRUMP:

TOM CRUISE & KATIE HOLMES

$3 Million

$1.5 Million

16

Put a Ring on It

$110,000

ENGAGEMENT

WHAT AFFECTS THE PRICE OF THE RING? CUT

CLARITY

A good cut gives a diamond its beauty. The angle and finish determines how light passes through and is reflected by the diamond.

The clarity refers to the presence of blemishes or inclusions on the stone. The fewer the inclusions, the higher the clarity grade.

COLOR

POINT CUT

TABLE CUT

OLD SINGLE CUT

Bright, colorful diamonds can fetch a higher price due to their rarity, though many brides-to-be find them tacky for engagement and wedding rings.

CARAT MAZARIN CUT

18

Put a Ring on It

PERUZZI CUT

Carat is a unit of measurement used to weigh a diamond.

One carat is equal to 2 grams.

Section Title Be a Better Best Man

19 22

Be a Better Best Man From the Bachelor Party to Wedding Speeches HE’S YOUR BEST FRIEND. You’ve known him since you were kids. You’re his wing-man: the Dynamic Duo, Maverick and Goose. You were there the night he met his girlfriend. You encouraged him to go and talk to her. And now, five years later, he’s finally popped the question: Will you be his Best Man?

ENGAGEMENT

It’s costing tens of thousands of dollars. And your speech as “The Best Man” will be the main event. After all, you have always been the funny one.

Then there’s the other stuff: Getting measured for suits, not losing the wedding ring. You read something once about the bridesmaids toast (but no one seems to know how or why this happens). And of course, you have to organize the all important “bachelor party.” Like Napoleon surveying the vast Russian Steppe in 1812, the enormity of your task starts to sink in.

Measuring Up The Groom might ask you for help in choosing the wedding attire for the groomsmen. In most cases this will involve selecting a suit hire company that is conveniently located, arranging a fitting session for the group and organizing the collection and safe return of the suits. You must not intrude too much on the groom for he has the final say, but help him choose something that everyone would enjoy wearing. FITTINGS ARE ESSENTIAL FOR EVERY MEMBER OF THE GROOMS PARTY, YOU DON’T WANT TO COME SLUTCHING IN WITH A SUIT THAT IS TOO BIG.

The Bachelor Party The biggest responsibility you will have as the Best Man is planning the last night out. The first is to plan a bachelor’s party for your buddy. When most people hear bachelor party, they 22

Be a Better Best Man

think keg stands and g-strings.

Men may be surprised to learn that the tradition of having a bachelor party is rooted in ancient times. The Spartans, who originated the idea in the 5th century BC, would hold a dinner for the groom-to-be on the night before his wedding. The evening would be spent feasting and toasting the groom and each other. The tradition of having a bachelor’s dinner continued into modern times. In the 1940’s and 1950’s the occasion was called a “Gentlemen’s Dinner.” This dinner was thrown by the groom’s father and involved the same toasting and eating that the Spartans had enjoyed. These bachelor dinners were designed for male bonding and to celebrate the groom-to-be’s important rite of passage from single life to marriage.

Remember this is not your stag do.

Whatever fantasies you might have about flying helicopters, racing dune buggies or carousing in the flesh pots of Amsterdam need to be put to one side. Ask the Groom what he wants to do and who he wants to invite. Do not impose an agenda on him.

Once the outline has been agreed you will need to organize invitations for the stag party, make the hotel and other reservations and think about mundane issues like transport and logistics. Check that any bars you might be planning to visit are happy to take stag parties. If the plan is to go abroad you will need to ensure that the group have valid passports, visas and insurance. Remember that the best stag dos are planned carefully in advance, not improvised by a group of

well-meaning drunks on the streets of Newcastle, Dublin or Riga at 2 o’clock in the morning!

The “Do” Itself Contrary to common wisdom on a stag do, it is not the job of the Best Man to get spectacularly drunk, humiliate the Groom by shaving, tattooing or otherwise exposing their private parts, or to live out their own stag fantasies. PRIMARILY, YOUR JOB IS TO ENSURE THE DAY OR WEEKEND RUNS SMOOTHLY, THE GROOM HAS A FANTASTIC TIME AND EVENTUALLY HE GETS HOME SAFELY. Any problems that emerge during the day will be your responsibility to resolve. Everyone else will look to you for leadership. Expect little help from other party members, especially with alcohol involved.

Contrary to common wisdom on a stag do, it is not the job of the Best Man to get spectacularly drunk, humiliate the Groom by shaving, tattooing or otherwise exposing their private parts, or to live out their own stag fantasies. Primarily, your job is to ensure the day or weekend runs smoothly, the Groom has a fantastic time and eventually he gets home safely. Any problems that emerge during the day will be your responsibility to resolve.

Section Title

23

Blazer H&M – $60 Vest H&M – $45 Shirt Uniqlo – $30 Tie J-Crew – $20

Wedding Day Duties It is your responsibility to get the Groom out of bed, cleaned up and dressed presentably, and importantly transported to the church in good time. He will undoubtedly be nervous so be supportive and don’t make things worse! MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE THE WEDDING RINGS SAFE IN YOUR INSIDE JACKET POCKET. You will be asked to present them during the service. Also ensure you know where the church is a good suggestion is to drive the route beforehand.

You may also be responsible for organizing the Ushers, and for getting the guests seated in the right place.

This will vary from wedding to wedding but try to take as much pressure off of him as you can.

24

Be a Better Best Man

You may also be responsible for organizing the Ushers, and for getting the guests seated in the right place.

This will vary from wedding to wedding but try to take as much pressure off of him as you can.

It is your responsibility to get the Groom out of bed, cleaned up and dressed presentably, and importantly transported to the church in good time. He will undoubtedly be nervous so, be supportive and do not make things worse! Make sure that you have the wedding rings safely secured in your inside jacket pocket. You will be asked to present them during the service. Also ensure you know where the church is a good suggestion is to drive the route beforehand. You may also be responsible for organizing the

Bachelor Party Reminders: Don’t Assume: Beacuse you want a crazy night doesn’t mean the groom does Find Someone to Drive DO NOT DO IT THE NIGHT BEFORE Divide the Costs (the groom shouldn’t have to pay a cent) Choose Guests Wisely Avoid Pictures Keep it Simple

Groomsmen Don’ts DON’T GET DRUNK BEFORE THE CEREMONY.

DON’T ARRIVE UNPREPARED TO DRESS UP.

This also includes the implied “Don’t get the groom drunk before the ceremony.” Sure, enjoy a beer or a few sips of whiskey to calm the nerves or to celebrate as you get dressed. But showing up to this momentous event with a buzz on is disrespectful, and will be noticed.

If we hadn’t seen a groomsman take his shirt out of the plastic package a mere moments before game time, we’d think this goes without saying. Make sure your clothing is ironed and presentable the night before. Learn how to fold that pocket square and tie your bow tie. Wear matching socks.

DON’T WEAR SUNGLASSES.

DON’T MENTION AN EX DURING YOUR TOAST.

Yes, even if it’s a bright, sunny day. They look tacky in wedding photos, there are just no two ways about it. You can put those Ray Bans or Oakleys back on after the ceremony and portrait session. But please, don’t go all Corey Feldman and don them all night.

As in the groom’s, but probably not your own either. Plenty of brides will gamely smile their way through this faux pas, but others won’t, so save everyone the awkwardness and don’t bring her up at all. Your pal’s wedding day is about looking forward to the future, not dwelling in the past.

Section Title

25

“SO LONG AS WE ARE LOVED BY OTHERS I SHOULD SAY THAT WE ARE ALMOST UNBREAKABLE; AND NO MAN IS USELESS WHILE HE HAS A FRIEND.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

Ushers, and for getting the guests seated in the right place. This will vary from wedding to wedding but try to take as much pressure off of him as you can. You may also be responsible for organizing the Ushers, and for getting the guests seated in the right place. This will vary from wedding to wedding but try to take as much pressure off of him as you can.

The Speech So it’s already D-Day and Zero Hour is fast approaching. Everyone has told you repeatedly how much they are looking forward to your speech. Some have asked you to make last minute changes reminding you of some hilarious incident or other that MUST be in your speech. Be strong and resist their requests. Your speech was (hopefully) written well in advance.

So it’s already D-Day and Zero Hour is fast approaching. Everyone has told you repeatedly how much they are looking forward to your speech. Some have asked you to make last minute 28

Be a Better Best Man

changes reminding you of some hilarious incident or other that MUST be in your speech. Be strong and resist their requests. Your speech was (hopefully) written well in advance. You have avoided clichéd wedding jokes, you have included some stories about the Groom as a teenager, described the night he met his bride to be and incorporated a carefully worded report on the stag do!

You have practiced your delivery in front of a trusted friend. You have written it onto hand cards which are securely placed in your inside pocket.

You are sober, focused and ready to deliver! (For more on Best Man Speeches, turn to page 72)

Best Man Check List: Tear Here

During the Wedding Planning

Make sure groom has

Help Groom Choose Tuxes

wedding license with him

Organize Tuxedo Fitting

At the Ceremony

Hand the groom the rings if there is no ring bearer

Dance with the bride and the Maid of Honor (expect to also dance with the

Take a head count

Escort the maid of honor

Help the groom change into

Plan Bachelor Party Make sure all groomsmen Organize Groomsman gift for groom

mothers of the bride and groom)

down the aisle

are there on time, dressed

Return to escort the Mother of the Bride

honeymoon clothes, if the couple is leaving directly from the reception

appropriately, and ready

After the Ceremony Before the Wedding Organize departure from

To seat guests if they are ushering

Sign the marriage license as an official witness

Take charge of the groom’s tux and return it or have it cleaned

the reception

Tear Here

Make sure all groomsmen Confirm couple’s honeymoon reservation

have boutonnières and are

Drive the couple to the reception if there is no limo

attached properly

At the Reception At Rehearsal Dinner Attend the Rehearsal

Take charge of gift envelopes to hold until the couple’s return

Get help from the florist

Act as a host

Have either the decorated car or limo waiting to take the newlyweds from the reception

or wedding coordinator Welcome guests, mingle, make

Organize who will toast

Check in to make sure the ring

introductions

Give the second toast

(If there is a ring bearer)

Organize groomsmen for formal photographs

(after the father of the groom) Stand by the groom’s side

At Home, Wedding Day Tear Here

Help groom get dressed

while waiting for the ceremony

Organize who’ll be giving toasts

to start Determine the toast order, give

Take charge of the rings

Notes:

When they’re ready to heave, help them make their escape

bearer knows what he needs to do

the first toast

Tear Here

NEVER HIDE

FASHION

Mens fashion is important too. In this department, you’ll find alternative ways to dress on your big day, and smaller accessories that you can use to make your style unique.

If you have no clue how you want to dress, look for your favorite celebrity and where they buy their suits.

ALTERNATIVE STYLES UNIQUE ACCESSORIES CELEBRITY SUITS

Blazer Brooks Brothers $60 Bow Tie Brooks Brothers $25 Boutonnière Homegrown

SUIT AND TIE

32

Section Title

1

2

This is for the grooms out there that aren’t afraid to have their own unique style, to break out of the status quo and assert their independence from the traditional tuxedo.

And we have some ideas to help you guys break the mold - from modern twists on a classic, to a complete 180 on what you think a groom should look like.

You can change up your look on your big day in a lot of different ways. From making your cufflinks into bullets (bottom left) or having a unique boutineer that matches your bow tie. Adding a personal touch will make it that much more special.

3 4

Suit and Tie

33

FASHION

5

6 8 9 10

11 36

Suit and Tie

7

12 13

14 15

16 17 (Numbers 1-4 are from page 35) 1) Shirt, Tie, Vest | Mens Warehouse | $195 2) Shirt and Bow Tie | J.Crew | $120 3) Suit | Jos. A. Bank | $500 4) Cuff Links | Etsy | $30 5) Tie Clip | Etsy | $50 6) Tie | J.Crew | $60 7) Bow Ties | Knotty.com | $40 8) Boutonniere | Etsy | $20 9) Suspenders | Mens Warehouse | $80 10) Cuff Links | Etsy | $70 11) Personalized Alcohol | Cork & Barrel | $55 12) Sun Glasses | Oakley | $150 13) Watch | Fossil | $200 14) Shoes | Cole Haan | $130 15) Socks | Happy Socks | $20 16) Shoes | Custom Converse on Etsy | $70 17) Shoes | Allen Edmonds | $250

Suit and Tie

37

Celebrity Wedding Fashion From Old Hollywood to Now WANT TO LOOK LIKE JAMES BOND or Justin Timberlake? Or least be inspired by their fashion choices on your wedding day. Find out how to dress like the stars from the 50’s to now. Where you can buy your wedding day ensemble, and how much it will cost.

Suit J.Crew – $200 Tie

CARY GRANT CLASSIC HOLLYWOOD STYLE The style icon and actor Cary Grant January 18, 1904 – November 29, 1986) was an English stage and Hollywood film actor who became an American citizen in 1942.

Known for his transatlantic accent, debonair demeanor and “dashing good looks”, Grant is considered one of classic Hollywood’s definitive leading men. Grant was named the second Greatest Male Star of All Time (after Humphrey Bogart) by the American Film Institute. He was known for comedic and dramatic roles; his bestknown films include Bringing Up Baby (1938), The Philadelphia Story (1940), Suspicion (1941), Arsenic and Old Lace (1944), Notorious (1946), To Catch a Thief (1955), An Affair to Remember (1957), North by Northwest (1959), and Charade (1963). Nominated twice for the Academy Award for Best Actor (Penny Serenade and None But the Lonely Heart) and five times for a Golden Globe Award for Best Actor, Grant was continually passed over. In 1970, he was presented an Honorary Oscar at the 42nd Academy Awards by Frank Sinatra “for his unique mastery of the art of screen acting with the respect and affection of his colleagues”

Macy’s – $50 Shirt Nordstrom – $30

SEAN CONNERY AGENT 007 The ultimate secret agent Sir Thomas Sean Connery Kt. born 25 August 1930 is a Scottish actor and producer who has won an Academy Award, two BAFTA Awards (one of them being a BAFTA Academy Fellowship Award) and three Golden Globes (including the Cecil B. DeMille Award and a Henrietta Award).

He was knighted by Elizabeth II in July 2000, and received the Kennedy Center Honors in the US. Connery is best known for portraying the character James Bond, starring in seven Bond films between 1962 and 1983 (six Eon Productions films and the non-Eon Thunderball remake, Never Say Never Again). In 1988, Connery won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his role in The Untouchables.

His film career also includes such films as Marnie, The Name of the Rose, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, The Hunt for Red October, Highlander, Murder on the Orient Express, Dragonheart, and The Rock.

Tuxedo Dillard’s – $200 Tie H&M – $20 Shirt Uniqlo – $40

PAUL NEWMAN CLASSIC HOLLYWOOD STYLE The style icon and actor Paul Leonard Newman (January 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008) was an American actor, film director, entrepreneur, humanitarian, professional racing driver, auto racing team owner and auto racing enthusiast. He won numerous awards, including an Academy Award for best actor for his performance in the 1986 Martin Scorsese film The Color of Money and eight other nominations, six Golden Globe Awards (including three honorary ones), a BAFTA Award, a Screen Actors Guild Award, a Cannes Film Festival Award, an Emmy Award, and many honorary awards. He also won several national championships as a driver in Sports Car Club of America road racing, and his race teams won several championships in open wheel IndyCar racing.

Suit Macy’s – $150 Tie H&M – $30 Shirt Macy’s – $40

Suit Brook’s Brothers $300 Shirt J.Crew – $60 Shirt Uniqlo – $30 Tie J-Crew – $20

SWISS BEATZ HIP HOP STYLE BEAT MAKER Kasseem Dean (born September 13, 1978),[n 1] better known by his stage name Swizz Beatz, is an American hip hop recording artist, record producer, and composer from New York City, New York. Born and raised in The Bronx, he began his music career as a disc jockey (DJ) and has since added rapper, record executive, creative director, fashion designer and painter to his repertoire.

At the age of 16, he gained recognition in the hip hop industry through his friendship and work with East Coast rapper DMX and the Ruff Ryders Entertainment record label. Dean has so far released two of his albums under the label; the first, a compilation titled Swizz Beatz Presents G.H.E.T.T.O. Stories, released in 2002 and his debut studio album One Man Band Man, released in 2007. About.com ranked him #27 on its list of the “Top 50 Greatest HipHop Producers,” while The Source placed him on its list of the “20 greatest producers” in the magazine’s 20year history. Fellow American rapper and music producer Kanye West, has also praised Dean, calling him “the best rap producer of all time.”

Tuxedo

RYAN GOSLING

ASOS – $280 Bow Tie J.Crew – $40 Shirt

HEY GIRL Actor and ladies man Ryan Thomas Gosling (born November 12, 1980) is a Canadian actor, director, writer and musician. He began his career as a child star on the Disney Channel’s Mickey Mouse Club (1993–95).

Gosling came to the attention of a wider audience in 2004 with a leading role in the romantic drama The Notebook, for which he won four Teen Choice Awards and an MTV Movie Award. His performance as a drug-addicted teacher in Half Nelson (2006) was nominated for an Academy Award and his performance as a socially inept loner in Lars and the Real Girl (2007) was nominated for a Golden Globe Award. Also in 2007, he starred in the courtroom thriller Fracture. 2011 proved to be a landmark year for the actor as he appeared in three mainstream films – the romantic comedy Crazy, Stupid, Love, the political drama The Ides of March and the thriller Drive – and received two Golden Globe nominations. In 2013, he starred in the period crime feature Gangster Squad, the generational drama The Place Beyond the Pines, and the violent revenge film Only God Forgives.

Macy’s – $35

Tuxedo Nordstrom – $99 Bow Tie Nordstrom – $40

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

Shirt Brook’s Brothers $35

SINGER/ ACTOR Mr suit & tie Justin Randall Timberlake (born January 31, 1981) is an American singer-songwriter, actor, record producer, businessman, and philanthropist.

Born in Memphis, Tennessee, he appeared on the television shows Star Search and The All-New Mickey Mouse Club as a child. In the late 1990s, Timberlake rose to prominence as one of the two lead vocalists and youngest member of the boy band ‘N Sync. During the group’s hiatus, Timberlake released his solo studio albums Justified (2002) and FutureSex/ LoveSounds (2006); the former spawned hits “Cry Me a River” and “Rock Your Body”, while the latter debuted atop the U.S. Billboard 200 and produced the Billboard Hot 100 number-one singles “SexyBack”, “My Love”, and “What Goes Around, Comes Around”. He has established himself as one of the most commercially sucessful singers. From 2007 through 2012, Timberlake focused on his acting career, effectively putting his music career on hiatus; he held starring roles in the films The Social Network, Bad Teacher, In Time, and Friends with Benefits.

Ad

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT

CEREMONY If you’re the Groom on the wedding day, expect to be in a daze. Best men, be prepared to keep the groom on track. Review what you need to bring to the wedding and reception, and the order of events so everyone is always at the right place, at the right time!

WRITING VOWS CEREMONY SEQUENCE DON’T FORGET DEALING WITH BRIDEZILLA

CEREMONY HOW TO WRITE YOUR WEDDING VOWS Your wedding vows are extremely personal.

They’re the special words that will marry you, and they represent your commitment to one another. There are an assortment of traditional and non-traditional, religious and secular wedding vows out there. Brainstorming and a talk with your future spouse can get you started on finding the right type of vows for you. If

48

Section Title

you are getting married in a religious setting, check with your officiant as she/he may have specific words that you cannot deviate from.

Otherwise, personalize your wedding vows with your own embellishments, loving words, and inside jokes. If you want to make it rhyme, sing them, or read them from note cards, you can. Make them your own!

?

DID YOU KNOW?

I PROMISE YOU

Keep in mind, these examples of vows are relatively short in length.

Write as much or as little as you like; don’t take this commitment lightly. It’s a promise you’ll keep forever.

The bride’s father would deliver her to the groom, and the two agreed that they were wed, and would keep the vow of marriage by mutual consent.

I ‘Promise’ Vows I promise to curate a faithful and fantastic marriage with you.

I promise to treat you with kindness, respect, appreciation and silliness. I promise to participate in our relationship, even when it might be hard. I promise to let you know when you are getting too arrogant at backgammon. I promise to roll my eyes with you, and not at you. I promise to make laughter an integral part of our family. I promise to love you until I am extinct. Thank you for marrying me.

Religious Vows I love you, (Name), and I know that God has ordained this love. Because of this I desire to be your husband.

Together we will be vessels for His service in accordance with His plan, so that in all areas of our life Christ will have the pre-eminence.

Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you.

I promise to love, guide, and protect you as Christ does His Church, and as long as we both are alive.

Funny Vows I (Name), take you, (Name) to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife) and chief tennis doubles partner, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, for when we win and the very very rare occasion when we lose. I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, to return your serves and do my best not to foot fault. This I vow to you.

Anecdotal Vows (Friends) Chandler, for so long I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soulmate. Then three years ago, at a another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort and instead I found everything I’d been looking for my whole life. And now, here we are, with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soulmate, my friend...unless you don’t want to. You go.

4

TIPS

ARE YOU WRITING THEM TOGETHER?

There are pros and cons either way.

If you write them together you will feel more comfortable and possibly less emotional than if you write them separately. Keeping your vows separate can also make the day special and spark anticipation.

ESTABLISH A STRUCTURE

Establishing structure of your vows together, especially if you aren’t writing your vows together, is a way to level the playing field. Anything you’ll share to establishing similar phrases like “I promise to” give you an outline so you aren’t writing from scratch.

DETAILS, DETAILS

This is the time to make promises your future spouse. Be specific and say things you vow to uphold in the marriage and things you will work on to continue building a strong foundation for you two. Use events as examples and be real.

TEMPLATE EXAMPLE I, (name), take you, (name), to be my friend, my lover, the (mother/ father) of my children and my (husband/wife). I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph.

I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity. ·Name of spouse ·What you take them for ·Your commitments ·Even when _____ happens ·Promises ·Forever

BE YOU

If you’re silly, be silly. If you’re serious, be serious. If you want to cry... let it out man! This is a time for just you and your spouse. Your vows don’t have to sound like a speech.

They can be a story, a poem, or essay. Make sure not to embarrass the one you love, but use your vows to let your uniqueness show.

Ceremony

49

CAPTURE THE MOMENT

I DO CEREMONY SEQUENCE

WEDDING DAY GIFT

Whether you’re the groom, best man, or a guest, you need to know what to expect at the ceremony. Use this guide to know the order of events.

Pre-ceremonial music as the ushers seat the guests. Music usually begins 15 minutes before the ceremony.

Traditional vows may be exchanged or you may write your own personal vows to recite.

After the guests, the groom’s parents are escorted to their seats. The bride’s mother is the last. The bride’s father is waiting with the bride.

Music is played during the candlelighting or other non-verbal portion of the ceremony.

The officiant, ushers, best man and groom take their positions.

The processional music for the bridesmaids, maid or matron of honor, flower girl & ring bearer, begins as they are ready to walk down the aisle.

Following the attendants, the bride’s father offers her his arm as they begin down the aisle. The guests rise in honor of the bride.

Be sure to know where your rings are before you go down the aisle!

Have Fun! Stay classy.

At the end of the ceremony, the officiant may introduce the newlyweds to the guests as the new Mr. & Mrs. The newlyweds lead the wedding party back down the aisle.

The wedding day gift. Pick something for your spouse that reflects your love and marriage.

It is something they will cherish the rest of their lives.

READING PROPS

If you or someone in the wedding is reading from a book, bible, or notecards be sure to grab them! You’d hate to ramble or mess up the ceremony.

THE RING

Best man, this is a job for you.

The groom will be so nervous and frantic, he could too easily misplace the ring. Keep it with you at all times.

TISSUES

Don’t think you’ll be emotional?

Think again. It is better safe than sorry to keep a tissue in your pocket so you don’t have to stop the ceremony to find one.

Surviving Bridezilla Help your Bride Keep Her Cool CHOOSING A WEDDING LOCATION and then organizing the wedding is an extremely emotional time for the bride, her mother, and the families of both bride and groom. When emotions, money, organization, love, and stress come together, the result can be a type of person called Bridezilla.

But, keeping the bride happy isn’t the only thing you’ll need to worry about.

CEREMONY

CONQUER THE

“BRIDEZILLA” IN THE MONTHS BEFORE YOUR WEDDING, Surprise her with dinner you may start to notice your fiancée getting Tell her that dinner is at 7 pm and to come frustrated over what you perceive to be “minor” hungry. You don’t have to go all out with wedding details. Trust us, to brides, there are lobster and fillet mignon, but a nice fish or no “minor” wedding details. As the big day ap- chicken dish (as long as she’s not vegetarian) proaches, your bride-to-be’s wedding planning with vegetables and a side salad generally frustration may turn into a fiery rage directed goes over well. Not only are you making her a at renegade wedding vendors, uncooperative nice dinner, but it also isn’t full of carbs and bridesmaids, pushy mothers, or, of course, you red meat (our preference), which may make her feel stuffed and thus worried about be(the groom). ing able to fit into her wedding dress.

Now don’t panic and immediately consider having your bride-to-be committed to an insane asy- Have a movie night lum. This type of behavior is perfectly normal The movie shouldn’t be wedding related or and common — there’s even a TV show about it. even a chick flick. Pick something with a lot Face it; wedding planning can be very stressful. of bombs and explosions going off. Think She wants everything to go perfectly on the big- James Bond or Jack Bauer. Or, go with a gest day of your lives. So you can’t really blame classic comedy that never gets old. Nothing her for freaking out about a bridesmaid dress takes your mind off of your worries better not being available in midnight blue, the band than a great movie and some popcorn. being down one member or not being able to Be the “yes” man for the night find the perfect napkins to match the flowers.

The answer to every question she asks should You might be thinking that things are really get- be “yes, dear.” If she wants a foot rub, do it. ting out of hand. While that may be true, the If she wants you to run to the grocery store best thing you can do when your lovely bride-to- for her, go. We know, it isn’t always easy saybe becomes Bridezilla is to be supportive and try ing yes, but if you succeed, she may be the to get her mind off wedding planning, even just one saying yes or rewarding you for your good behavior later. for a night. Here are a few suggestions:

54

Surviving Bridezilla

TREAT HER LIKE THE PRINCESS SHE ISN'T. To keep the hostility at bay, shower her with attention and compliments. On a regular basis, ask her if she’s lost weight and if she’s using a new hair product. Tell her that wedding planning must be good for her because she’s never looked so radiant.

How Do You Know She’s...Transformed?

Trust us on this one, you’ll know! Your usually eventempered partner will become suddenly obsessed with the wedding plans, focusing day and night on little else. She will, at times, become irritable, accusatory, dismissive, irrational, and demanding. It’s not PMS, it’s the biggest day of her life, and dammit, it’s going to go off without a hitch.

The groom has got to cut his bride some slack.

get out of hand later. You 1. PREVENTION IS KEY. can simply refer to your Before you dive into the “initial agreement” to get planning stage of your wed- you back on track. ding, chat with your brideto-be about how you plan to 2. GROOMS AREN’T tackle it. And by you, that GUILTY UNLESS…THEY means both of you. Have a ARE. If you are upholding good talk about what each your end of the bargain, of you will be responsible you have absolutely nothfor, and not to let the enor- ing to feel sorry for. Even mity of the task ahead get so, this may not prevent the best of you and cast your future wife from a storm cloud over one of becoming Bridezilla. If she the greatest events of your succumbs, remind her that lives. If she doesn’t bring you’re doing all you can this up, be proactive. Es- and that if she is taking on tablishing a plan of action tasks above and beyond will benefit you if things what was agreed upon,

that is her own choosing.

However, if you’re skipping out on things you agreed to help with to have a drink with friends or catch the game on TV, sorry brother but...you’re guilty as charged. In this case, your Bridezilla is justified in being a monster. Rectify the situation as quickly as you can. Be extra nice.

Surviving Bridezilla

55

DEPARTMENT

WEDDING FEVER IS CONTAGIOUS The bride isn’t the only one with a short fuse during wedding planning.

OF COURSE THE BRIDE’S MOM IS EXCITED for the wedding, she did give birth to the bride.

And your mom is most likely also excited. If you come from a family of only brothers, your mom is probably more than happy to help with wedding in plans with her future daughet-inlaw. Whether it’s your mom or your lady’s mom, you’re going to have to be able to be flexible. But you need to be able to put your foot down. It’s not “mom’s way or the high way.” It’s you and your lovely bride’s special day. Here are a few tips to involve mom without letting her takeover the whole thing: Warn your wedding planner. If you let her know what to expect, she can be prepared to help run interference.

Make all the important and not-so-important decisions in advance so that nothing can be changed by the time Momzilla gets involved.

56

Surviving Bridezilla

Warn your vendors that Momzilla may try to meddle. Tell the DJ not to take music requests (or CDs) from her, tell the photographer that you don’t want him to the take pictures that your mother requests unless it’s something you’ve already requested.

Find a task that isn’t as important to you—a farewell brunch or the contents of the welcome bags—and assign it to your mother to give her something to do to keep her busy and out of your hair.

Assign a good friend to babysit your mother all weekend. Momzillas crave attention, and making sure she has a captive audience most of the time, even if it’s just one of her best friends, will help to take a lot of the pressure off of you.

INFAMOUS WEDDING ‘CRAZIES’ The Bridesmaid(s) Being a bridesmaid can be a big job, and not everyone has the time or money to do it well.

Focus your attention on the friends or family members who live close by and have more accommodating

The Wedding Planner Sorry, we aren’t talking about J-Lo from 2001’s, The Wedding Planner.

We’re talking about your actual wedding planner (but if you get J-Lo, then that’s another story). Remember, your wedding planner is stressing out as

much (or even more) as your bridezilla. Remember to be nice and appreciate your wedding planner. But there are times when you will disagree with your planner.

Drunk Uncle They have no idea what’s going on. To get away from them pretend someone is calling you. Don’t be rude. Listen to them for a little while. 3-5 minutes tops and then run for your life. Offer to bring them another drink. Easiest way to get up

Father-in-law You are marrying your future father-inlaw’s baby girl. She is is pride and joy and there’s no way daddy is going to let anything happen to her. Hopefully, you received the father’s blessing before asking for your beloved’s hand in marriage. This should set a positive

schedules. Make sure you take a few minutes with the bridemaids to express your gratitude. Even with weddings as expensive as they are, try to budget so that you don’t have to skimp on the bridesmaid gifts.

and go. Send the drink you promised with another person (someone you don’t like *evil laugh*) and God’s speed to them. Chances are you’ll be tipsy it too. Drunk people can be cool to hang out with, well, some of them.

tone for the engagement and hopefully after the wedding. If dad really doesn’t like you, try find out what he likes. Who knows, maybe you’ll find that you both love cracking open a beer and turn on Breaking Bad after a long day of work.

Surviving Bridezilla

57

“ALL YOU CAN DO IS ALLOW HER TO VERBALLY ABUSE YOU AND DISCOUNT EVERYTHING YOU SAY.”

DEPARTMENT

ARE YOU A

“GROOMZILLA” We’ve been going on and on about bridezilla. But what about groomzilla? Your want your wedding to be perfect too, right? Just make sure you don’t go over the top. You don’t want to drive your groomsmen insane.

Two out of three brides reported there was at least one thing that could transform their future husband from a groom-to-be into a full-fledged Groomzilla. For some, that something was the guest list. About a quarter of brides said the music selection would put their men over-the-edge, while 16% answered that honeymoon preparations might trigger Groomzilla tendencies. Here are 10 signs that show you are becoming a groomzilla.

1. Your Facebook friends are “un-friending” you in scores because every update, photo, and link is about your nuptials, including vendor information, that video of how you met, honeymoon plans, and the name of your registries. Guys, it’s your wedding, not Mardi Gras, and you need to keep in mind that other people have lives.

60

Surviving Bridezilla

Try not to end every social network comment with “P.S.: More engagement photos to come.”

2. You’ve picked 12 groomsmen, your Best Man, and your first-dance song, and you’ve been engaged for less than an hour. Once you make the decision to wed, take time to savor the moment. After you get back to reality you might find that asking your overbearing boss to be in the wedding party was a huge mistake, or that P!nk’s “Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” is not an appropriate firstdance song.

3. You forgot to register to vote, but you’ve registered for gifts at three different places. As easy as it is to think otherwise, taking time to do things like vote is (almost) as important to the future of the world as your wedding.

4. The last two movies you saw were “Father of the Bride” and “The Wedding Planner.” When friends tell

you to take a break and get out more, they mean take in a new movie, or hit a museum, or go away for the weekend.

The only thing you need to do is love the guy at your side.

5. You’ve stopped working out. Fitness is imperative, not just for your long-term health, but to ease wedding stress and clear your head. You’ll actually have more energy if you schedule regular exercise.

6. You’re so engrossed in the glamour of wedding gifts that you’ve registered for martini sets, china, cookware, even a toaster. Unless that home is a trailer with no amenities, avoid registering for wedding items you have no use for.

Virtually everyone has a registry these days, which means your gift options are unlimited. If you don’t want presents, you can give to charity or form a registry to donate to one of your favorite LGBT organizations.

7. You gave tonight’s front-row Madonna tickets to a friend because you’re in a tizzy over seated meal or buffet. No planning complication is so important that it can’t wait a day. If your Best Man gets stranded in Hawaii the day before your Nebraska wedding, stop what you’re doing and make adjustments. Otherwise, get up on the dance floor and have some fun.

8. Your mind goes blank when someone mentions the phrases “Honey Boo Boo,” “binders full of women,” or “What are your holiday plans?” While not understanding what that first phrase refers to might be a blessing in disguise, having no knowledge of current events is a sign that you’re too self-absorbed. Read the paper, watch the news, and, most importantly, connect with your friends and loved ones in a way that does not involve your wedding. Make it about them for a change.

9. You’ve ordered an eight-tier cake—and your guest list is 20. Face it, wedding stuff is fun, fun, fun. But don’t go overboard: Once you know your budget, guest list, and formality, stay within those limits. Otherwise, you might end up with egg on your face and a lot of maxed out credit cards.

10. Your mother tells you she wishes your wedding was less stressful than some of the other ones she’s planned —like her own. In this case, mom definitely knows best!

“Wedding planning has evoked my inner girl. I used to cut my hair at Walmart, now I have my own stylist. And I may get a manicure with clear polish for the wedding.” —Nick Stamos, age 30

THE BEER

Ad

SWIRLING POWER AND LIVING MAGIC. GET ACQUAINTED WITH THE UNIQUE TASTE OF GUINNESS

PLEASE ENJOY RESPONSIBLY

RECEPTION No matter what size your wedding reception will be, it still requires good planning. The responsibility of planning a flawlessly successful wedding reception can be daunting — from favors, food, and drink to entertainment, seating charts, and children, you have myriad details to consider. Just do your homework, make informed decisions, and strive to keep the mood festive.

WEDDING BAR GUIDE WHAT TO SERVE BAR PERSONALITY WEDDING TRADITIONS RECEPTION ETIQUETTE

RECEPTION

WEDDING BAR GUIDE One of the major decisions a couple makes when planning a wedding is what type of alcohol to serve at their reception. Here’s a guide you and your bride can use to assist you with your wedding bar selection.

On a tight budget? Don’t even Many couples opt for an open bar, where guests have access to unlimit- think about having a cash bar. Guests ed drinks throughout the entire recep- should never be expected to pay for tion. While this is certainly the most their own drinks. Instead, consider gracious approach, it’s also the most skipping the hard stuff, which is expensive and could end up costing pricey, and serve less-costly wine and as much as 10 to 20 percent of your beer only. Or, opt to offer your site’s “well” brands of liquor, which are less total budget.

An alternative is the “limited,” or expensive than premium brands; the “soft,” bar, where you offer a careful same goes for house wines and chamselection of drinks (say, wine, beer pagne. Also, discourage the wait staff and vodka cocktails) at the bar during from refilling wine glasses at dinner specific times (throughout the cock- without first asking guests if they tail hour and right after dinner), then want more.

When you stock the bar, think about have waiters serve wine or beer during the brands that are most likely to satthe meal.

BAR TIP: On average, you should allow 1 drink per person per hour at the reception. A bottle of champagne will usually serve five glasses.

isfy the greatest number of guests.

Again, you know your guests. If your family is flying in from the highlands of Scotland, you may want to substitute a single malt for that Kentucky bourbon, but generally, standard bar fare will go over just fine. On the wine front, there is a far greater opportunity to make choices based on your personal preferences.

BASIC BAR RATIO For a wedding in the evening with dinner and dancing, we recommend you sock the bar with this ratio of alcohol

Serving Sizes 1 bottle of wine =

Full bar: 20% liquor, 15% beer, 65% wine Beer and wine only: 20% beer, 80% wine

5 servings 1 case = 12 bottles 750ml bottle of liquor = 18 servings

64

Wedding Bar Guide

1 bottle = 1 serving of beer 1 full sized keg = 165 beers 1 bottle of champagne = 8 servings

WHAT TO SERVE:

10

bottles of vodka

6

4

bottles of scotch

bottles each of gin & rum

2

bottles of each of whiskey, bourbon, tequiula, vermouth, and triple sec

Add these to your list: Have on hand 2 cases of beer, 3 to 4 cases (36 to 48 bottles) of white wine and 2 to 3 cases (24 to 36 bottles) of red wine.

Three cases (36 bottles) of champagne.

Don’t forget to provide nonalcoholic drinks. Popular drinks include sodas, fruit punch, coffee, and tea.

Wedding Bar Guide

65

DEPARTMENT

A LITTLE BIT OF HONEY. A WHOLE LOT OF JACK FLY STRAIGHT.

66

Section Title

RECEPTION RECEPTION

WHAT’S YOUR

BAR PERSONALITY? Every time you order a drink, you’re letting people know what kind of person you are. What does your drink of choice say about you?

BOTTLED BEER These drinks are much more appearance aware. They don’t view life through the beer, but see it as a status symbol in their self-made beer pyramid of greatness.

They consider themselves “top shelfers,” looking down through their fancy bottles at everyone else.

WINE A glass can be a stage for pretentious drinkers. The wine drinker is usually a nervous, insecure type who knows their noble charade could be blown at any minute.

COCKTAILS Cocktail drinkers have no understanding of themselves or the greater world, preferring chaos to normality. They’re many people in one, a cacophony of emotions. Never coherent in speech patterns or dance moves.

DRAFT BEER Draft beer drinkers are the least pretentious and a little unimaginative. They are rarely well spoken, but always want to talk. Image is truly nothing and taste is everything.

CHAMPAGNE

WHISKEY

Those who celebrate “life” and “tonight” can be an enigmatic bunch. They are good-looking, extroverted and apparently having the most fun in the bar. But don’t be fooled. Conversation with our bubbly friends is usually restricted to shrieks and giggles, and is entered into at one’s own risk.

Whiskey is a strong drink. The alcohol content is high and the flavors are robust. It’s a drink that men use to assert their dominance. Often, this masculinity can be seen as attractive, however, it can also be arrogant as well since people who drink whiskey often like to perceive themselves as better than others.

Wedding Bar Guide

67

Traditions CEREMONY & RECEPTION TRADITIONS, WITH OTHER THINGS, can be changed, modified, and molded into your own style.

It is important to have a conversation with your spouse on what they expect to happen at the ceremony and reception. Read on to learn more about history, tips, and a checklist of traditions.

No doubt there’ll be man hugs, handshakes, and slaps on the back.

RECEPTION

THE BEGINNING OF

TRADITIONS DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY YOUR significant other, and most traditional weddings, make a checklist of typical reception traditions? Why exactly do brides wear garters? Why is there a bouquet toss? Husbands, why do you carry your spouse through the front door of your home? These are all valid questions. Read on to hear about the history behind these crazy traditions.

MANY OF TODAY’S popular wedding ceremony and reception traditions can be traced to ancient Egyptian and European customs. These were often based on symbolism, superstition, folklore, religion, and even the belief that evil spirits could bring disease and death to newlyweds and crops, which was very important in many farm-based early cultures. Although the exact origin and usefulness of many of these early wedding traditions are not always clear, popular acceptance has allowed them to flourish. They may not make sense, but now that you know more about traditions you can impress everyone on the big day. Besides, many of these wedding traditions are just fun!

SAVE THE DATE

According to various sources, some of the early marriages were literally carried out by the Groom and his “Bridesmen” (or “Bridesknights”) who would kidnap a woman (the origin of “carrying a Bride over the threshold”) from another tribe! The Groom and his fellow conspirators would then fight off the female’s family of tribesmen with swords held in their right hand while the Groom would hold the captured Bride in his left hand, which is the origin of why a Bride stands on the left side of the Groom at a wedding.

After a successful capture, another politically correct practice was for the Groom to hide his new Bride for one month for mating purposes. It is said that the word “honeymoon” was created to describe this one month cycle of the moon when they would drink mead, which was a honey sweetened alcoholic brew that effects both sobriety and the acidity of the womb, thus increasing fertility. Is that strange?

Maybe.. but hey, it gives you an excuse to honeymoon with your spouse right after marriage.

Sunday used to be the most popular wedding day; it was the one day most people were free from their duties at work. Puritans in the seventeenth century put a stop to this, believing it was improper to be festive on the Sabbath. Nowadays, Saturday is the most popular wedding day because it gives you Friday to prepare, Saturday to celebrate and Sunday to recover.

70

Traditions

History & Traditions The word, “Wedding” comes from the Anglo-Saxon word “wedd” that meant a man would marry a woman and pay the Bride’s father.

When a Groom used to steal his Bride from her tribe, he was forced to carry her kicking and screaming. This act of thievery has evolved into a more romantic gesture, instead welcoming the Bride into her new home.

Prior to the 5th century, the ring finger was actually the index finger. Later, it was believed that the third finger contained the “vein of love” that led directly to the heart.

Why do people toast? It is said that this tradition first began in France, where bread would be placed in the bottom of two drinking glasses for the newlyweds. They would then drink as fast as they could to be the first person to get to the toast. According to legend, the winner would rule their household!

PICTURE THIS Photo History

UNTIL THE LATER half of the 19th century, most people didn’t pose for formal wedding photos during the wedding. Instead, they might pose for a formal photo in their best clothes before or after a wedding. In the late 1860s, more couples started posing in their wedding clothes or sometimes hired a photographer to come to

the wedding venue.

WANT SOME memorable wedding pictures that aren’t your typical cheesey poses? Make sure the photos reflect you and your significant other. Brainstorm friend groups, locations, and poses before hand. Make them your own...who says they have to be traditional?

Section Title

71

MUSIC

SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING Dancing at a wedding reception always starts out with some traditional dances. Establish a “dance order,” beginning with your “first dance.” The traditional dance order can be changed as you desire.

WHATEVER DANCES YOU and your spouse decide to have at your wedding, be sure to communicate with the DJ the order to announce them and the songs to play. If you want to add more dances feel free! You don’t have to dedicate an entire song to each of these dances—try making a mixed song or fade from one to the next.

Your first dance can be formal, or casual, slow and romantic or fun and energetic. You could have your first dance alone or invite your guests to join in. You could even have more than 1 song. There really are no rules, so make it your own.

DOLLAR DANCE The dollar dance began in Poland, but has found popularity in Mexican-American and American weddings. The concept of this dance is for the bride and groom to earn money to use during their honeymoon or for their new life together. Men take turns dancing with the bride as they pin money to her gown or she places the money in a satchel. Sometimes the groom joins in and women pin dollars to his tuxedo jacket.

ANNIVERSARY DATE One way to make married guests feel acknowledged is by having an anniversary dance. This is a dance when the emcee of the event asks that all married couples dance. A rendition of this tradition is to ask

dancers to sit down as related to how long they have been married. For example, after a minute of dancing all of the couples who have been married less than five years sit down. After a minute and a half, the 10-year couples sit down and so on until the couple who has been married the longest is the only couple left dancing. Other guests applaud the long-lasting marriage when the song finishes.

LAST DANCE The last dance is a celebratory song. The bridal couple and all the other guests dance the last song of the night. It’s also a signal to the guests that the reception is ending.

Order of Dances

FOX TROT

1. Bride & Groom 2. Bride’s Parents 3. Groom’s Parents 4. Bride dances with her father 5. Groom dances with mother-in-law 7. Bride dances with father-in-law 8. Groom dances with his mother 10. Rest of Bridal party joins in 11. Guests join the dance Start

20 FIRST DANCE SONGS Jason Mraz – Lucky Elvis – Cant Help Falling In Love Adele – Make You Feel My Love Kings of Leon – Use Somebody Kiss – I Was Made For Loving You

72

Traditions

Plain White T’s – Rhythm of Love Frank Sinatra – Fly Me to the Moon Dido – Thank you Sir Mix-a-Lot – Baby Got Back Ed Sheeran – Kiss Me

Van Morrison – Sweet Thing Jack Johnson – Better Together Iron and Wine – Such Great Heights The Beach Boys – God Only Knows Frank Sinatra – Angel Eyes

Michael Buble – Everything Johnny Cash – Rose of My Heart The Beatles – And I Love Her Zach Brown Band – Free L.O.V.E. – Nat King Cole

RECEPTION EVENTS 1. Receiving Line 2. Cocktail Hour 3. Champagne Toasts 4. Wedding Cake

1

RECEIVING LINE The line can form at the wedding ceremony site just after the wedding or at the reception site, depending on logistics.

If you think your guests will get to the reception before you (if you and the wedding party will be taking pictures after the vows), you might want to have the line at the ceremony site. Another option is to hold the cocktail hour in a room other than the main reception room. You’ll have plenty of time to get to the cocktail hour, and when the doors to the reception room open, you and your parents can form the receiving line as guests enter.

4 2 COCKTAIL HOUR The cocktail hour kicks off the wedding reception and can last for an hour or an hour and a half.

Guests arrive, greet each other and you, and get into party mode.

3

FIRST DANCE This blissful moment can take place when you two are announced for the first time as husband and wife, so just go directly to the dance floor. Alternatively, you can wait until after the salad course. It’s entirely up to you.

TOAST/SPEECHES The toast generally happens after everyone is seated and the first course has been served. The best man starts the toast and gives his speech, followed by the maid of honor. The couple responds (the groom usually responds to the best man, but why not let the bride say something, too?), and then parents and other guests speak.

5

DINNER Once cocktails are finished, the couple and wedding party have been announced, and the first dance is over (if you’ve chosen to dance before the meal), dinner should be served. Not much more than half an hour should have passed since guests entered the reception room.

6

CUT THE CAKE The cake is usually cut during the last hour of the reception, which makes sense because it’s time for dessert and coffee as the party is winding down. Also, the wedding cake cutting generally signals to guests that it’s okay to leave soon, so don’t cut the cake too early or things could start wrapping up before you’re ready for them to end!

Traditions

73

DEPARTMENT

Blazer Men’s Warehouse $300 Shirt Uniqlo – $50 Tie J-Crew – $20

Section Title

Reception Checklist Dapper Guide

Change of Clothes

Song list

Champagne

Camera(Disposable)

Toast Notecards

Garter

Rice/Bubbles

Garter

Bouquet Toss

You certainly can skip the bridal bouquet toss if

You certainly can skip the bridal bouquet toss if

be more comfortable for the bride to stand and

it’s just not something you want to do. Instead,

it’s just not something you want to do. Instead,

slightly raise her dress, with the groom kneeling

you could give your bouquet to a special friend

you could give your bouquet to a special friend

in front of her, to remove the garter. This makes

or relative, or break it into smaller bouquets and

or relative, or break it into smaller bouquets and

for a less awkward position and better photos!

give them to a few special wedding guests.

give them to a few special wedding guests.

If you do still want to do a garter toss, it can

Cutting the Cake

Toasts At weddings, people with no public speaking experience — and no desire to have any — sometimes have to get up in front of a big group of people and say something moving, charming, and memorable. Unsurprisingly, this is stressful! But we have some tips to make it less so.

Writing a clear, concise, and all around successful toast can be difficult. Here is an example of a best man’s toast.

Remember, these steps are just guidelines so feel free to get as creative as you want.

This is a formula that will work for toasts delivered by anyone in the wedding party. Having guidelines can help you keep from babbling on the big day. Tips on how to deliver it on the next page. Writing a Writing a clear, concise, and all around successful toast can be difficult. Here is an example of a best man’s toast. Remember, these steps are just guidelines so feel free to get as creative as you want.

CLARIFY RELATIONSHIP WHO ARE YOU TOASTING GIVE THANKS SHARE ANECDOTE

OFFER COMPLIMENT END ON POSITIVE NOTE INDICATE END OF YOUR TOAST

Good evening, everybody. My name is Tim, and I’ve had the pleasure of having Kevin as my closest friend for seven years. I’m honored to be his best man today, and I’d like to offer a toast to his beautiful bride, Alicia. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be here to witness their union, and I’d like to thank her parents, John and Alison, for their grace in welcoming us tonight.

The first time Kevin told me he was seeing Alicia, he didn’t even have to tell me anything about her--I knew this girl was different. I could tell from the way his eyes lit up when his phone rang, and it was her. Till that point, I’d never seen him get that excited about anything except football! Then...

Kevin started changing. All of a sudden, he had a bounce in his step, a twinkle in his eye, and grin on his face--and he always offered me the last beer instead of hoarding it up for himself! Since he started seeing Alicia, Kevin has been more considerate, thoughtful and motivated than ever.

Alicia, you have deepened Kevin’s appreciation for life in way I never could have predicted. He is steadfast, honest and downright good-looking, and you are his match in every way: dedicated, genuine, and beautiful, inside and out.

Thanks to your presence in his life, Kevin is not only a better friend; he’s a better person all around.

Let’s toast to the health, happiness and future of this amaz-

Traditions

75

BEACHES SMEACHES

HAVE AN ADVENTUROUS HONEYMOON

Reception Etiquette So You Won’t Be “That Guy” THE RECEPTION CAN BE THE BEST PART OF THE WEDDING, and the part that all your guests are looking forward to! Usually the speeches and good food gets the party started, and the open bar keeps it going throughout the night. But with so many people hanging around, there is bound to be some characters in the group. This is a how to guide on surviving this party without too much embarrassment and most of your dignity still in tact.

RECEPTION

Time to Dance!

Dancing is one of the main attractions at the reception, but can also be a panic attack waiting to happen for some guys. All you have to remember is to relax, and have a good time.

Just keep it simple, no need to pull out fancy moves that you see in music videos.

Simple swaying and side to side dancing is all you need to do if that is what you are comfortable with.

BE CAREFUL ABOUT THIS GUY! Weddings are suppose to be a time to celebrate, but you don’t want to be the one who makes the fool of himself on the dance floor!

80

Reception Etiquette

Now, if you are a natural born dancer and want to break out some great moves, then go for it! Everyone loves a good party boy who will get the dance floor really going!

If you really want to start something up, try the tips on the next page.

Dancing Cheats Follow along with the flow. You don’t have to be the trend setter of the dance floor. Just look around and see how your friends are dancing, and go with the flow!

Pick the easy partiers. People like little kids and grandmas usually love to dance, and don’t care at all what you look like when you’re dancing.

All they want is someone to go out there and have fun with!

Request “dance along” songs. These songs are like Cupid Shuffle where they literally tell you what moves to do in the song. These songs are a sure fire way to get everyone out on the dance floor!

If all else fails, get a little bit of liquid courage in you! Its never a good idea to drink in excess, but a glass of wine or a beer is okay to loosen up.

Famous Dances

The Cabbage Patch

The Running Man

The Sprinkler

Reception Etiquette

81

RECEPTION

When Hitting on a Bridesmaid DO: RAISE HER SPIRITS

DO: GO SOLO

DO: BE AWARE OF LOCATION

DO: PLAY NICE

Bridesmaids are definitely feel-

This is the time to assert your

It might not be the best idea to

When first arriving to the recep-

ing the pressure when it comes

independence fellas. No wing

make your move at the church,

tion, or the ceremony itself,

to her friends wedding day.

men necessary. Weddings are all

but rather help a bridesmaid

offer to help move tables or any-

Of course she is happy for her

about couples, and when you’re

get out of a boring conversation

thing else they need. Everyone

friend, but there is also a kind

single, that all you want to find.

with a distant relative. She will

is going to be scrambling to get

of sadness that comes along

She likely doesn’t want to sit

surely be grateful!

things done, and having a little

with seeing someone with so

alone either, it’s a matter of

much happiness that you don’t

finding and focusing on similari-

DON’T: HIT ON PAIRS

have. So when dealing with

ties.

Just like a group of girls at a

never hurt.

club, a group of girls at a wed-

DON’T: BE “THE” NICE GUY

DON’T: BE CREEPY

ding can be hard to crack. Just

Don’t get caught being the one

this, identify with her and her sympathies!

bit of that “nice guy” persona

If a girl is sitting alone and you

remember, sometimes, girls are

who everyone calls on for help

DON’T: BE FAKE

go and give her some company,

not looking for their sole mates

the entire day. A couple acts of

If you really don’t care about

make sure it is reciprocated.

at a wedding.

kindness goes a long way. Then

hearing about her woes, then move on!

82

Reception Etiquette

duck out and meet your girl.

Guys, there are so many ladies who are jealous and have a “it-should-have-been-me” complex. Just feel your way out, and you’ll be fine. Now go out and have a great time!

Place Settings the chart below! A general rule though, for if and when you forget which is the salad fork, just work from the outside, in. The waiters should take your used silverware when you are done with a course, so process of elimination will help with your decision also.

The different types of glasses though, actually have a purpose. They have different weights and ways to

This might be one of the most important articles you read that you will only need maybe once or twice in your life time. Apparently, using the same utensils for an appetizer and the main course is a crime when it comes to fancy dinners, so they have assigned each course a different fork and knife. Now, if you don’t want to get weird looks from the people at your table, pay close attention to

hold them or how much air is let in the glass that makes the liquor you are drinking taste just that much better.

Scotch and other hard liquors are most-often served in tumblers because they are designed to bring out the flavor and aroma of the drink. Red wine is suppose to be served in a rounder, taller wine glass, so the wine can oxidize and be swirled easier. White wines are sup-

pose to be served in a thinner version so oxidization does not occur as much.

Champagne glasses are the thinnest of these types of glasses, usually referred to as “flutes”. This shows off the wine’s main attraction, the sparkling bubbles, and makes them last longer.

13

14 10

12

9

15 11

3

8

2

7

5 4 1

6

1. Napkin 2. Salad Fork 3. Dinner Fork 4. Dinner Plate 5. Salad Plate 6. Dinner Knife 7. Teaspoon 8. Soup Spoon 9. Bread Plate 10. Bread Knife 11. Dessert Fork 12. Dessert Knife 13. Water Glass 14. Red Wine Glass 15. White Wine Glass

Receptoin Etiquette

85

SUBSCRIBE

at dapper.com See all the new trends in mens wedding fashion, both classic and alternative Get tips on how to survive bridezilla and other crazy relatives All the knowledge you will need to be prepared for a whirlwind ride with the woman you love, in a magazine you won’t be afraid to to be seen with

86

Section Title

NEXT MONTH IN

DAPPER FINDING THE PERFECT SUIT

THE BACHELOR PARTY

THE “PLUS ONE” DEBATE

WEDDING HOOKUP DO’S AND DON’TS

It is important to find that perfect suit and tuxedo for the wedding. Follow these tips for advice on picking the suit and getting it tailored.

Looking at examples from cinema, we dive into the pros and cons of crazy bachelor parties. Are the memories really worth it?

Do I plan on bringing the girl I just met to a wedding seven months from now? Find out how to deal with potentially awkward “plus one” situations.

So you slept with the Maid-of-Honor the night before the wedding. Learn how to handle the situation with these helpful tips when hooking up.

Sneak Peek

87

CHECK OUT OUR MOBILE APP! Download the DAPPER Magazine app for free!

DAPPER T HE

G R O O M ’S

GUI DE

THE ENTRE MAGAZINE IN THE PLAM OF YOUR HAND EXCLUSIVE ARTICLES BONUS VIDEOS DAPPER.COM/APP