thE high PriEstEss

by Karim Isaac Hyderali

I met an old woman deep within the forest

No need for names, refer to her as The High Priestess

She said she knows everything about me; future, past and present

She knows of all my joys and all that I resent

She knows how my body and mind have been thirsting as of recent

My life’s been a constant state of mysterious tension

She told me sit down son it’s time for a lesson

Asked me if I believe there’s more to the cosmos

I said, to be honest ma’am I’m not sure

What she did next made me fall through the floor

Pulled out a deck of cards and said take a leap of faith, I know you want more

Chanted a few mysterious words

The cards lifted themselves off the table

Spun around in the air until I saw him

King of Cups looked me right through the eyes and he stared deep into my soul

Handed me a cup of his deadly juice, and before I knew it I was under his spell

Swallowed by his darkness, my own personal cell

His clones surrounded me and they began to yell

Pissed about how we use him to escape our own personal hells

He asked who are you kidding? You try to hide yet it brings out the worst in yourselves

Go ahead and take a sip boy, see how it works out for yourself

One drink to feel my magic, one drink is enough for you to handle? Sure

Two drinks to bring out your inner whore, do you even want to do this? Go ahead beg for more

Three drinks don’t be shy now, come on and calm your nerves

Four drinks now you’re in my personal army’s reserves

Five drinks to rid your senses, that’s right rid the pain

Six drinks now you get angry and violent, come on question your self worth

Seven drinks for you to spread my gospel, everyone you love can chug my brew

Too scared to face your emotions? Go ahead take another round

Too scared to face reality? Chug another cup down For generations I’ve plagued your people, for they have misused my gifts

Unable to find a balance, you’re better off walking off a cliff

Suddenly the darkness faded, The High Priestess asked me how I felt

I took a second to collect my thoughts and before I could answer, the cards spun around

The room was filled with fire and beams of light, never had my eyes encountered something so bright

He said he’s been called many names but I can call him Huitzilopochtli

My people used to be filled with love and fear at the sound of his name

He said he was essential to our survival, but we have been led astray

He said if I please him I could draw his strength in my time of need

But that my selfishness contrasted with the sun’s natural selflessness

The sun feels the need to provide for all of mankind

But here I am contributing to the idea that the greatest enemy of man is man himself

I’ve casted a shadow on my own happiness by being caught up in my insecure view of manliness

Expecting too much of myself and those around me

Sucking out the joy of the youth from an early age like they did mine when I was young

New flesh and blood meet the world getting burnt by the fire of their parent’s failures

Bring order to your world with no clue how, defend your family, danger must not be allowed

They look at the amount of fire burning away at your soul and say they’re proud

Pressure leaves them as pessimists from the start yet overly enthusiastic to leave a mark

He said chasing the strength of the sun will leave you consumed by the dark

The beams of light rearranged and one positioned itself right through my heart

Suddenly the beams of light turned solid and shattered like glass

The high priestess looked me in the eyes

She said fire is just as capable of construction as it is destruction

You are just a man you are not divine, you were meant to learn by trial and error by design

Once again the cards spun around and mist began to fill the room and my eyes saw someone new

She ascended down from the moon onto the shore greeted by a dog and a wolf

They both growled at me as I approached

She said they could smell my fear and anxiety and asked me why I was afraid

Are you afraid of nature when it’s tamed or are you afraid of it when it’s wild?

You seem like you’re unaware of what it is you’re scared of, just like a child

I can see deep within your soul there’s a lot to you that you don’t like to show

Everyone told you parts of yourself were wrong so you refused to let those branches grow

So you keep it all locked away in the deepest parts of your mind

Chained up like an animal hidden in the dark so you can make everyone blind

Come on say it now your secrets make you feel like an abomination

You fear that your uncertainty surrounding these illusions will bring devastation to your life

You have been deceived to not take on your true natural self

Caught in the crossroad of being a villain in heaven but a saint in hell

You’ve let this world shape you in a way that deviates too far from your natural state

You’ve allowed yourself to become tamed

And because of this you’ve become obedient to the rules of masters you cannot name

But I guess that’s for the best?

The darkest parts of your mind keep you up as you gaze into the night

Your hidden self is responsible for that hollow feeling buried within your chest

The most tamed parts of your spirit allow for you to be accepted by their light

You stay up overwhelmed with stress, until you find your balance there’ll be no rest

As she came closer flowers began to sprout out of the ground at her feet

She told me she knows there’s so much to me others never get to see

The feeling and pressure of shame will suffocate you and bury you alive

The plants began to wrap themselves around my limbs

They propped me up between two towers and she said that I know who I am deep within

The plants began to squeeze me tight and soon I couldn’t see any light or hear any sound

That was until I heard a shuffle and the cards cut me out

They spun around once again as I fell back to the

Shore And Saw The Sky Covered In Stars

Another woman stood in front of me but this time, she was nude

She was pouring water onto the ground and back into its source

As I approached her she told me she must continue nourishing the Earth

She sat me down and explained how you must take care of yourself if you ever hope to heal

Suffering is a part of life and you must keep your spirit alive in order to differentiate what is and isn’t real

The power of the stars is hidden away and your relationship with the Earth is how you break the seal

I am the calm and I am the storm, I am duality in its physical form

Nourish your body and your surroundings in order to prevent your soul from drowning

Drowning in despair because you fear being vulnerable with one another

You fear opening up and being perceived by your brothers, sisters and lovers

But you cannot fool me with this facade I can see past this image you’re insecure about your flaws

I can see the hopelessness in your eyes and how hopeful you are when you speak your lies

But I am not here to punish you, I’m here to help you reflect

Reflect on all it is about yourself you desire to reject

It’s all a part of you that you just can’t shut out

You’re scared of being judged and being labeled weird is something you fear

Let’s be honest you haven’t been living your truth so you came to the high priestess asking what to do

But you didn’t expect to be sent upon this journey, did you expect her to be nice and not unleash her fury?

Suddenly all the stars in the sky began to burn more and more bright

They descended down and we were encapsulated by specs of light

They spun and spun until the lady of the stars told me I guess we’re done

She wished me well and said she hopes I find the strength to pull my mind out of it’s cell

Slowly the specs started to resemble the cards that sent me on this wild quest

A sinking feeling hit my chest as the cards began to ascend and terrifying silhouettes began closing in

I read about these creatures once before they go by cherubim or tetramorph

With the head of a man, lion, eagle and ox

They demanded that whatever I planned on doing with the queen I must be stopped

I looked around dazed and confused and they said any disobedience will not be excused

That I shall get on one knee to treat the queen of the world with proper respect

She came in dancing all around the sky, her beauty was one that could soothe the eyes

She covered herself by wearing a sash and twirled two staffs with elegance and class

As she moved she was followed by a wreath

Her beauty was so stunning that when she approached me I suddenly forgot how to breathe

She told me she has traveled across the galaxy trying to become fulfilled

But that just like me nothing was ever enough

She wanted more and more and wasn’t afraid to get rough

She said she’d take what’s hers until she felt fulfilled and had the respect of earth, heaven and hell

And that if I met with the high priestess it meant I sought to reach that caliber

She was right I had a vision that one day I would have her bravery, wisdom, success and power

I had everyone else fooled but she saw right through my lies

I wanted to be a legend among men because legends never die

I seeked to immortalize myself just as she had done

But she assured me that she will always remain number one

The physical embodiment of the world and all it has to offer

That she is a goddess above all else and the high priestess acknowledges this

She said the heavens is somewhere I don’t quite belong and that I’m incomplete

That I was a fool if I knew enough about her to find the high priestess and still compete

She said my aspirations were a devastation on all that I met and that I was a burden, never a threat

I detested this and soon I met one of the cherubs fist, he told me to stay in line

I sat there and laughed, how full of myself was I that I thought I could be meant to shine?

She looked me in my eyes and told me that it’s now my time

As I laid there suffering defeat, she told me if I were to die I should do so proudly on my feet

I stood up and realized I was second to her now

That she only wished death upon me because despite what she said, she feared I could take her crown

As the cards spun around I hid my smile

The air began to smell putrid and vile

Darkness began to eat away at every bit of light

On a decaying horse came the wicked knight

He told me there was nowhere to run and that death comes for us all

In order for there to be new beginnings then chapters of this world have to meet their ending This world is meant to transform, you were just mistaken thinking you were the transition

To reach the top you attempted to purge yourself until there was no genuine human being left

You believed you were perfect so you stepped to the queen of the world and all that exists

You erased your genuine self to be what you perceived others believed to be flawless

You were not reborn but rather restarted, an artificial person made on a blank slate fueled by self hate

Your intentions were impure and that’s why you could’t step to her

You didn’t want the world to become a better place, you wanted to become the standard everyone chased

I took a second to look around and saw the river of styx pass me by

I saw my reflection and for once I saw myself and began to cry

All that I had done had been in vain, even reaching the ethereal plane

I have to face all the dark that I once chose

Every selfish decision I made at every crossroad

I thought I was going to reach the light and for once I genuinely felt good

I was no longer numb and thought I could really change the world this time

But the greed for the queen’s power was my selfish crime

Now I stand here at the riverbed of despair in an endless night

No more goals or anything to achieve

There’s quite no reason for me to go on

The knight came right by my side and said his boss is here to set me free

Death spares no one, I felt her scythe cut right through me

Felt the voices in my head finally feel at peace

But I didn’t cry, if this is really death then there’s no reason to be sad

I won’t miss the life I had

If this is who I spent my life becoming then I’d rather be dead

My body laid at the high priestess feet, she buried me and no one bothered to try and find me

I spent my time with my heart locked inside but death finally set me free

She said her name was the Lady Saint of Death

La Santa Muerte made me realize death isn’t so bad

Taken away for getting too close to the light

The darkness consumed me and took me out of the fight

A broken man who couldn’t face himself or his self righteousness, now stuck in a state of idleness

For decades, my ego slowly died until I was an empty shell with nothing left inside

No more voices in my head

No more hanging onto my sanity by a thread

For centuries I had sat in the darkness, finally at peace until she came and said had an offer for me

My new purpose was given to me, to work as death’s disciple

Sorting all fallen souls and punishing those foolish enough to believe they can be a deities equal or rival

See I was brought here in this position for the same reason as you, for being a prideful egotistical fool