A LITTLE HUMOUR

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says “I'll give you some cream to put on it.”

Doc I can't stop singing “The Green, Green Grass of Home.” That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. Is it common?

It's not unusual.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. “My dog is cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?'

“Well,” said the vet, “let's have a look at him.”

So, he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I'm going to have to put him down.”

“What? Because he's cross-eyed?”

“No, because he's really heavy.”

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, “Parking Fine.” So that was nice.

We've just heard that in the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned.

A grandfather has gone missing after eating four cans of baked beans, two cauliflowers and a jar of gherkins. His family have made an emotional appeal for him not to come home for at least a fortnight.

For some time, my wife's had this ridiculous idea that I'm playing too much golf. Actually, it came to a head at about 11.30 last night. She suddenly shouted at me: "Golf, golf, golf. All you ever think about is bloody golf!"

And I'll be honest, it frightened the life out of me. I mean, you don't expect to meet somebody on the 14th green at that time of night.

And for a little fun – have a look at this wee video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFr5nu0W0ds – only in Anguilla!