Humour

A couple of small-town Australians stop at a pub after work. They’re enjoying their pints when they notice a couple of out-of-towners come into the bar. Being a friendly fellow, one of the Aussies decides to go see who these guys are. He says, “Excuse me, guys. You aren’t from around here, are you? Where are you from?”

“Saskatoon, Saskatchewan,” comes the reply.

The Aussie turns around and heads back to his buddy at the table.

“So? Where are they from?”

“I don’t know, but they don’t speak any English.”

Question: What does a Canadian say when you step on his foot? Answer: Sorry!

Question: How do you get a Canadian to apologize to you? Answer: Step on his foot.

A local RCMP officer found a perfect spot to catch speeders but wasn’t getting m any. Then he discovered the problem – a 10-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign, which read RADAR TRAP

AHEAD.

The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading TIPS and a bucket full of money.

I was meeting a friend in a bar in Flin Flon, and as I went in I noticed two pretty girls looking at me. “Nine,” I heard one whisper as I passed.

Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.

“I don’t want to ruin it for you,” he said, “but when I walked in, they were speaking German.”

I had taken a rare day off from work and, having shed the corporate uniform, was dressed scruffily, with my hair in rollers. Glancing out my window, I saw a van blocking my driveway.

Incensed, I flew to the door and told the driver to move it immediately.

About an hour later, all dressed up to go shopping, I was backing my car out of the driveway and noticed the driver standing on the sidewalk. A little embarrassed, I smiled and nodded hello.

“Ma’am,” he said to me, “I hope your grandmother is only visiting. She is one tough old cookie.”

Soon after we were married, my husband, Paul, stopped wearing his wedding band.

“Why don’t you ever wear y our ring?” I asked.

“It cuts off my circulation,” Paul replied.

“I know,” I said. “It’s supposed to.”

Source: Reader’s Digest, Laughter is the Best Medicine.