This Too Shall Pass

“I have two daughters who are both pupils at LEH. Professionally, I am a lawyer and have spent the recent part of my career leading a legal team as General Counsel. My last role was as General Counsel for the Europe, Middle East and Africa region for Starbucks Coffee Company. I left Starbucks this year and took a decision to build my own practice, working for retail, consumer goods and fashion clients. It’s early days but I am looking forward to the possibilities that working for myself can bring.

Like everyone I have faced plenty of challenges and hurdles in my professional and personal life. For the day-to-day challenges, which can feel huge at the time, you need to just grit your teeth and get through it (a difficult day at work after a sleepless night with toddlers is a good example!). Other hurdles take longer to figure out and navigate your way through. It can take time to figure out a route forward and I do believe in trying to tune in and listen to what your body is trying to tell you – there is a reason we call it “gut instinct”!

We often think we can organise and prepare for everything in life, but the reality of life is that it throws up both unexpected opportunities and unexpected challenges. Two years ago, I had walked the girls to the bus stop and headed out for a run before work. When taking a shower afterwards, I found a large lump in my armpit. Later that week I received a breast cancer diagnosis. I was told that I would need to start chemotherapy straight away with a mastectomy and radiotherapy to follow.

The initial shock of the diagnosis, coming so out of the blue when I was fit and healthy, was one of the hardest bits of the whole experience. My sister is a doctor (and a very practical and inspirational LEH alumna!). She swooped in, listened, mopped up my tears and made me realise that the type of breast cancer I had responds well to treatment and can have a very good prognosis. She helped normalise everything for me and put me in touch with some other women who had been through the same experience. She helped me navigate all the side effects, finding recipes and foods to support my battered body through treatment and encouraging me to keep exercising every day to maintain my fitness, strength and to keep positive.

appointments on my own as we were in the middle of lockdown but this, in a strange way, meant that I just had to get on with it. I treated it like a full-time job – regular trips to hospital, blood tests, managing all your symptoms and sickness from chemo, exercising to stay strong and trying to feed your body to stay healthy and keep weight on. Emotionally and mentally, the army of friends and family who joined me for dog walks every day and left meals on our doorstep in the evenings, supported me and the family through the year of treatment.

I have learnt that whenever we are facing challenges in life – whether just a difficult day or whether it is a longer period of challenge – it is just a phase. We will get through it and that phase will pass.

I chose to be very open with my friends, family, and colleagues about what was going on and, for me, this was the best thing I could have done. I had to attend all my hospital

To be able to overcome challenges we need to be resilient and keep our batteries topped up – for me, that means physical exercise, getting a good night sleep, eating well, and having time outdoors every day. For others, they might fill up their batteries in different ways – reading, listening to music, doing something creative or taking some time out every day to be alone.

Staying positive is, of course, important. I learnt many years ago not to worry about the stuff I have no control over, or which hasn’t happened yet and to try to take each day as it comes. If I am finding it hard to see the positive, then there are almost always positives to be found in some of the simpler things in life. Today it is pretty grey and wet outside, and I woke up feeling rather overwhelmed with my to do list. I took myself out for a run down by the river, noticed the colour of the autumn leaves, and made myself a slow, perfect cup of coffee when I got home. By the time that coffee was finished, I had a manageable list in place and the world seemed ok again!

Last winter I was full of admiration watching the ExtraOARdinary crew complete the Talisker Whisky Atlantic challenge. It was particularly inspiring hearing Kat’s story and following her progress in the race. Chemotherapy is physically gruelling and takes a lot of time, work, and patience to physically recover afterwards. The fact that she was training for and taking part in the race having recently gone through chemotherapy was completely inspiring for me at a time when I had hit a bit of a brick wall in terms of my recovery.

Challenges or risks we choose to take on are not always huge statements like this. For each of us, taking a risk or being bold means something different. For one person it could be completing the London marathon, for someone else it could be working their way through a Couch to 5km programme to start running. The more you step outside your comfort zone, the more you believe you can do it and the more it becomes a habit. It still feels uncomfortable, but it stops feeling scary and starts to feel energising. Walking into a room full of people who you don’t know, telling someone something they don’t want to hear, presenting in front of an audience, going travelling on your own, being asked to be a good friend’s “best woman” and giving a best man’s speech to 200 people at their wedding, they are all things which have felt uncomfortable, unnerving, but once done feel pretty awesome!

Having coxed years ago at university but never rowed, I have felt (just a little bit!) envious watching my daughter take up rowing and heading out on the water down at the LEH Boathouse. It has been a long time since I have learnt a new sport and I felt uncomfortable turning up as a novice to our local rowing club where everyone around me looked like experts (“surely no one else wants me here” says the internal dialogue!). I shouldn’t have felt uncomfortable about it – I have met a friendly, welcoming group of people, many of whom are more than willing to give up their time to take on a newbie. This has been my “stepping out of my comfort” challenge over the last few months. I am really enjoying learning something different and meeting a new group of people.

These are some of the most valuable things I have learnt in life so far: every stage we go through is just a phase – if it is tough, it will pass; to take one day at a time; and to invest in your friendships. The friends who I made at school, university, work and through my children over the years are completely precious to me and the source of genuine happiness and contentment.

School of Hard Knocks

“I am the Client and Commercial Director at Kallaway, an independent consultancy company that helps brands be successful. We specialise in PR, Marketing, and solutions for any problems they might be facing. I like to describe us a problem-solving company. Clients include Battersea Power Station, American Express, the Hard Rock Café, Tower Bridge and lots of smaller brands. It’s a very diverse mix, but I like it that way.

Pushing yourself outside your comfort zone makes you resilient. The world of work places demands on you that you just won’t experience in school. I regularly helped my Mum out with her PR company during school holidays and got my first Saturday job at the age of 16. I worked in H&M and Top Shop and then regularly in bars and restaurants.

You need to learn as early as possible how to deal with real-life situations and difficulties – that’s what makes you resilient and helps you develop a thicker skin, so you don’t take criticism so personally. I think every young person should be incentivised to take a gap year and actually work during it. It gives you a bit of grit.

I really developed a greater sense of resilience when my mother died when I was 27. She was a great force of nature and that’s massively rubbed off on me. Losing her was a lifechanging moment. It made me see that everything is temporary. It sharpens your lens.

Things beyond my control have had the biggest impact on me. The death of my Mum and the pandemic have been rapid accelerators, major life experiences which have got me to the point where I am now.

I’m a very driven person so work has always consumed me. When the pandemic hit, it was a real test. The first 12 to 18 months were very bleak for many companies, their order books just cleared for reasons beyond their control. Clients just had to stop work and cash flow was hit.

show. Panic sets in when the person you look up to shows stress.

Now we’ve all realised this better work/life balance is achievable, it’s easier to maintain. I’m really committed to my team’s personal development and encourage them to be resilient too. I often say to my team: It’s PR not ER!

By way of paying forward, I have set up my own mentoring programme called Another Way to support young people as they make their way in the world of work. Sometimes it takes someone outside the situation to see things more clearly. I can offer an impartial listening ear – there’s no sense of judgement from me.

I’ve got a young team and I had to keep them positive. I had to have the necessary gumption to believe that this difficult situation was temporary and to convince others that we were going to get through it together. I went to work every day and tried not to let the stress

My proudest moment so far was spotting that someone might have ADHD, which would explain why they had always struggled to hold down a job. After we talked, the young person who had always suffered from low self-esteem, sought help medically and got an official diagnosis. They are now transformed because they know how to deal with things more effectively and have recently got a great job that just wouldn’t have been possible before. I’m so pleased I was able to help.”