The secret life of stories

Dejan �leksić

Dejan �leksić

ТHЕ SECRET LIFE OF STORIES

THE INTRODUCTORY STORY or

How to use the libr-aunt-ry

Dear Reader, In front of you is a book of stories. I am sure that you already know many stories and you think there are no surprises here. I used to think that way, too. It seemed

to me that stories were wonderful creatures made up of words and that the easiest way for a person to meet a 5

story is by reading it. Stories, however, sometimes lead their own secret, curious lives. You never know what kind of story you might encounter. For example, I know a story that is empty and is trying to cure its emptiness.

It is here, in this book. In the book is also a very spoiled story. I don’t even know how I managed to handle it in the end. I almost excluded it from this book.

Either way, being friends with stories can be very ti­ ring. And while we’re at it, I have to admit that no story has ever exhausted me like The Running Story did. Yes, that’s the name of the story. Its name is telling of its main characteristic – running away from the book. This

is why this story is not in the book at all. Several times I tried to close it between the covers and it would escape 6

each time. You will see it for yourself, dear Reader, on­ ce you turn the page – there is nothing under its ti­ tle. But what kind of storybook would this be if some stories were missing from it? That would be careless and it could anger the reader. Maybe you are not one of those angry readers. Maybe you only like reading stories that don’t have a habit of escaping from books, so you won’t be missing this one either. Still, I have to

take into account everyone who opens this book with an aim to read stories, rather than to look at empty pages from which the stories escaped. That is why I decided to do the following: there is an electronic address that all readers can use to write to me and ask me to send them The Running Story. When it arrives, the readers can pri­ nt it and then use really, and I mean really good glue to plaster it in its designated place. There, I think we have an understanding. And here is the electronic address: 7

bookmaster@kreativnicentar.rs (Subject: The Running Story) This is the thing with stories. It often happens that they are not pleased with something. Here’s, for example, The Introductory Story, which you are reading right now. It didn’t want to be The Introductory Story. It wanted to become a story about a beautiful girl who had been asleep for hundred years, until a prince came along and woke her with a kiss. I explained to The Introductory Story that such a story already exists, but it didn’t believe me. It told me:”How come someone

had written me before I came to be?” Ridiculous. I also wanted to be the Prince of Achilolelecoocoobia, but the Prince of Achilolelecoocoobia was quicker, so he became the Prince of Achilolelecoocoobia before 8

me. We can’t always be what we want. It is important to be happy with what we are and try to be better. I don’t know whether The Introductory Story is happy with itself, but I find it more important whether you, dear Reader, are happy with it. Either way, I think The Introductory Story helped you understand that dealing with stories isn’t always easy.

At the end of The Introductory Story, I have advice for you, dear Reader. Every time you close this book, make sure you close it well. It would help if you kept it under a flower pot or a jar of pickles. I am suggesting this because of The Running Story that I mentioned, which I will send to you if you request it. This is how you can rest assured that the story won’t be able to run away from you. One of my friends had an excellent idea on how to solve this problem. He has an aunt. And that aunt of his has a couple of extra pounds. When his aunt sits on a book, the story has no chance of getting out and running away. An idea rare and innovatory: book and Libr-aunt-ry.

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The Running Story

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The Lookalike Stories

It happened once to a story that it had a lookalike. And that lookalike, when faced with stories like it, would often start to gripe. And so the two stories just couldn’t agree on which one was real and which one was a lookalike.

They each had a dragon in them. And a knight, too – who courageously set off to hunt the dragon.

“Is your dragon scary?” asked the first story.

“Very scary,” said the second story to its lookalike.

“Same as mine,” concurred the first story then asked again: “And does it burn sometimes when it’s spitting fire?”

“It does indeed,” the second story agreed.

The first story began having deep thoughts about it all. Then even deeper. Then, a horrible and familiar 13

noise abruptly stopped that deep thinking. While he had been waiting for the dragon to show up, the knight in the story fell asleep. And his snoring was so loud that it would scare off any dragon.

“And does your knight snore a lot?” asked the first story, annoyed.

“Does he snore? Oh, he snores – for that matter – he makes all the letters scatter!” complained the second story, collecting the letters that were falling out every­ where, as its knight also fell asleep and began to snore.

Both stories sighed and started comforting each oth­ er, full of understanding.

“Eh,” cried the second story, “why can’t I be like my sister? She is a story about a nightingale that sang so beautifully that leaves in a forest forgot to turn yellow 14

and never fell. See, she is also a story, like I am, and she’s living as if in a poem. We are rather different, like we weren’t written by the same writer.”

“And I know a neighbouring story about a spoon that didn’t know what to do, so it decided to sing the moon a tune, but moon’s hearing was gone too soon.

And that’s how they lived, spoon and moon. So sang the spoon, cheered by the moon who laughed like a loon.”

After the first story said that, both began thinking again. It’s not easy being a story no one likes. And how can people even like them when they are both about a knight who set off to hunt a dragon then fell asleep along the way? And both knights’ snores are so loud.

So loud that the dragon gets scared, runs away and the end of story never sees the light of day.

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The two lookalikes were pondering for a while then the first one said: “I have an idea! Why don’t I give you my dragon and you give me your knight, so both you and I can have an end in sight.”

“Deal,” agreed the second story and delivered its sleeping knight. Now the first story had two knights sleeping and loudly snoring in it. And in their sleep, noisy and long, they began bothering one another.

“Wow, you really snore,” complained the first knight.

“And you snore better than me than I do,” replied his knightly colleague, who oftentimes made these funny mistakes in sentences.

Since they weren’t able to sleep for days, they de­ cided to tell stories to each other.

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The first knight told a story about a nightingale that sang so beautifully that leaves in a forest forgot to turn yellow and never fell.

“That’s a very nice story,” said the second knight, pleased.

The he told a story about a spoon that didn’t know what to do, so it decided to sing the moon a tune, but moon’s hearing was gone too soon. And that’s how they lived, spoon and moon. So sang the spoon, cheered by the moon who laughed like a loon.

The first knight chuckled at the story, getting ready to tell a new one. And so the knights realised that it was better to tell stories than to chase dragons around the world, since dragon-hunting is a boring and oldfashioned job.

And what the two dragons in that other story ended up doing – that I don’t know. I only wrote this story, and since this one and the other one are no longer looka­ likes, I don’t know whether the story about the dragons might finally have an end in sight.

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The Story That Did Not Know How To End Itself

Once upon a time, a draft entered a house. As soon as it got there, it complained: “Oh my, it’s quite cramped in here...”

Of course it was cramped when that house belonged to a snail. And it’s known that snails’ houses can be cramped even for snails, let alone a draft. But the snail wasn’t home, so the draft was none the wiser. It continued to putter around inside and after a while it began complaining again: “Goodness, it’s cramped in here!”

The draft kept complaining, at least ten times. But we won’t mention its complaints each time because it’s silly to keep repeating the same thing that becomes samer each time, plus it’s repeating itself. And the snail just wouldn’t return. One would think he had gone 19

In front of you is a book of stories. I am sure that you already know many stories and you think there are no surprises here. I used to think that way, too. It seemed to me that stories were wonderful creatures made up of words and that the easiest way for a person to meet a story is by reading it. Stories, however, sometimes lead their own secret, curious lives. You never know what kind of story you might encounter.

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