KPC Family Magazine - July/August 2012

We didn’t know what was wrong.

Until we found what was right!

We Choo se!

Ryan and his parents, Julie and Mike

I chose because I needed to: • have shorter classes • be happy • become a successful musician.

We chose because Ryan needed to: • be happy • build character • be challenged • fulfill his potential • have encouragement from peers and adults to be successful.

What does your child need? Talk about it. Talk to your school.

Explore other learning environments. Then choose!

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

Thanks to Indiana’s new School Scholarship Act, you can choose the best education for your child.

Visit: schoolchoiceindiana.com to see if you qualify. fwFamily.com

July/August 2012

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CONTENTS >>>

8-9 BABIES | 0-1 YEARS

Mom overcomes hurdles to stick with breastfeeding

16-18

COVER STORY

Outside-of-the-box ideas for summer fun

Rosemond guides mom on how to help grieving son

Life Steps

Special features, tips and more

6

EXPECTING Baby names reflect past, present, future

7

8-9

BABIES | 0-1 YEARS Tackling the ‘breast is best’ challenge

10-11

TODDLERS | 1-3 YEARS Milestones open new doors

12TYKES | 4-8 YEARS Traits of ‘spirited child’ can lead to successful adulthood 14-15

PRETEENS | 9-12 YEARS Grief should be allowed to run its course

20-21

TEENS | 13-18 YEARS Summertime is test preparation time

TekVenture Regional Maker Faire will stimulate innovation 19 See you at KidCity Aug. 4 21 Share time, love at the Ronald McDonald House 24 New online tool helps indentify high quality child care choices 25 Cahoots offers free summer fun for ages 12-18 26-27 Time away: living water to a parched soul

Humor Helps 22-23

FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY Local families share their funny stories

Teachable moments

Calendar

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28-31

POOPED-OUT PARENT PAGE Have fun and get it all done

ON THE COVER >>> 2

14-15 PRETEENS | 9-12 YEARS

July/August 2012

FAMILY EVENTS Activities for you and your family

ETHAN BAKER, 5, AND LANCE, 2, of Kendallville enjoy ice cream at Bixler Lake Park in Kendallville. fwFamily.com

<<< LETTER FROMTHE EDITOR

Welcome to our July/August issue!

As I write this, I know a lot of parents are already counting the days until school starts again. Often, really enjoying summer takes some planning — it just doesn’t happen.

Memorable summers involve a careful mix of family activities, both at home and at some of our great area locations for family-friendly fun, and “me” time. Everyone who cares for children needs time away to recharge and refresh. Thank you to Brenda Jank for a heartfelt and helpful article on that topic.

Our cover story features some tried and true family fun ideas, including two unusual ice cream recipes. I have to admit that I love avocado, but I don’t think I will be trying the avocado ice cream idea. Amy Oberlin assures me it is delicious, so I have included it. I’m sure some of you readers will enjoy this new twist on an old summer favorite.

Each issue of this magazine is based on contributions by readers. I thank each of our contributors — whether it’s an article, photo, humorous story or simply a suggestion for a topic.

Another big thank you to the Friends of the Family listed on the inside cover and back cover. Please be sure to thank them if you have the opportunity to do so. Their support enables us to continue to provide this magazine for free to all families in the greater Fort Wayne area who request it.

I hope to see you at KidCity, the first Saturday in August at the Noble County fairgrounds in Kendallville. This free event is a summer highlight for many families. Don’t miss it!

Enjoy your family!

Grace Housholder

Volume 8, Issue 4 July/August 2012 Greater FW Family aims to provide parents with helpful information so they can make sound decisions while raising and educating their children. Every child is unique. Please consider your child’s individual development and needs when using parenting information.

Authors’ opinions and advice presented in FW Family do not necessarily reflect the opinions of FW Family and may not be applicable to all children. We welcome your comments.

Greater FW Family Publisher

Terry Housholder terryh@fwfamily.com Editor

Grace Housholder graceh@fwfamily.com Photographs by Chad Kline, dreamstime.com, Metro Creative Connection, MultiAd Builder and contributing organizations and individuals For Advertising Information and Rates Contact Advertising Director Karen Bloom 260-347-0400, Ext. 110 karenb@kpcnews.net 260-426-5511 Presentation Editor

Erin Doucette erind@fwfamily.com Creative Manager

Jane Minick

Editor, graceh@fwfamily.com 826 Ewing St. Fort Wayne, IN 46802 Telephone 260-426-2640 info@fwfamily.com fwfamily.com

Find us on Facebook: Type in KPC Family Magazine

Greater FW Family magazine is a publication of

KPC Media Group Inc. President

Terry Housholder Vice President of Sales/General Manager

Don Cooper Chief Financial Officer

Donna Scanlon

WHEN WE SKYPE ONLINE with our granddaughter Jane, 17 months, who lives in Norway she shows us the things she is doing and learning. One of her favorite things right now is pushing her “cow wagon” while running really fast across the wood floors.

Here she is in a quieter moment, pulling, not pushing. fwFamily.com

Copyright 2012. Greater FW Family Magazine.

All rights reserved. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without written consent of the publisher.

The opinions expressed by contributors or writers do not necessarily reflect the opinion of this magazine. Distribution of this publication does not constitute an endorsement of the products or services herein. For quality reprints, please call 260-347-0400, ext. 176. Outside Greater Fort Wayne area mail delivery is $15 for 12 issues.

July/August 2012

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JULY, AUGUST CONTRIBUTORS >>>

CHAD KLINE >>> Kline works for the Noble County Sheriff’s Department as a dispatcher, and is a member of the Corunna Volunteer Fire Department. He also takes photos for KPC Media Group. He can be reached at ckline@kpcnews.net.

<<< SUSAN COOK

Cook has been a parent educator at Early Childhood Alliance since 2000, working in LaGrange and Steuben counties.

Contact her at scook@ecalliance.org

<<< KATE COFFMAN

Coffman is the program manager for the College and Career Counseling (C3) initiative of the Indiana Youth Institute. C3 offers driveofyourlife.org and triptocollege.org to explore career options and college.

DR. JOHN ROSEMOND >>>

Rosemond is America’s most widely-read parenting authority.

He is a best-selling author, columnist, speaker and family psychologist. More information at rosemond.com.

>>>

ERIN DOUCETTE

>>>

BRENDA JANK Jank is the founder of “Run hard. Rest well.” She is a wife and mother of five children. Three of her children have special needs. Contact her at Camp Lutherhaven, Albion. Phone: 636-7101; email: brenda@lutherhaven.org

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July/August 2012

<<<

Doucette is the presentation editor for KPC Media Group, leading design and layout for several of its publications. She, her husband, Stephen, daughters Ella, 5, and Eva, 2, live in Huntertown. Her blog can be read at fwfamily.com. She can be emailed at erind@fwfamily.com.

KRISTY (GAFF) JOHNSON

Johnson is a 2003 East Noble High School graduate. She studied physics at Dickinson College and the University of Maryland. She lives in southern California with her husband, Michael, and their son, Felix, 1. Contact her at kristina.t.johnson@gmail.com.

<<< REBECCA CALHOUN

Calhoun is executive director of Drug Free Noble County and coordinator for KidCity.

She lives in Kendallville with her husband Terry and youngest son Joshua, a senior at East Noble. Contact her at rdcalhoun2003@yahoo.com.

fwFamily.com

<<< POOPED-OUT PARENT PAGE

H AV E F U N A N D G E T I T A L L D O N E !

did u ever notice ... ? … you pay out the wazoo for a vacation, and what your kids remember is swimming and eating french fries? (Simplify!) … you max out the credit cards to be all organized about school supplies, and the day after school starts they cut the price by 50 percent?

(Good time to stock up on basics for at home.) … the more relaxed you are, the better your children behave? (hmmmmmmmm!)

Have a great, relaxing summer…

Want more ideas? Visit before5.org Children thrive when parents visit before5.org

fwFamily.com

July/August 2012

5

BABY TRENDS

Baby names

Most popular Indiana boys’ names in 2011

reflect past, present, future

1. Mason (507) 2. Liam (390) 3. Elijah (367) 4. Noah (361) 5. William (361)

Most popular girls’ names in Indiana in 2011

Mason jumps more than any other name, Old Testament names also popular again

1. Emma (450) 2. Olivia (446) 3. Ava (442) 4. Sophia (428) 5. Isabella (376) Fun websites to explore are babynamewizard.com and nancy.cc

BY GRACE HOUSHOLDER Reality TV is giving birth to some of the most popular baby names, according to The Associated Press story posted in May

by James Tew, KPC online editor, at fwfamily.com.

The article caught my eye. It continued: “No, not Snooki. But Mason, as in Kourtney Kardashian’s son, jumped 10 spots to become the second most popular name for newborn boys in 2011.

“The more traditional Sophia is the new top name for girls, while Jacob is No. 1 for boys for the 13th straight year, according to the list released by the Social Security Administration.

“Kardashian, the reality TV star, gave birth to Mason in December 2009 following a heavily publicized pregnancy. In 2010, Mason jumped from No. 34 to No. 12. Last year, 19,396 baby boys were named Mason, an increase of nearly 4,600, by far the biggest jump for any name.

“The list, which also includes top baby names by state, draws millions of viewers. The agency hopes that people go to the website to see the baby names and stay to learn about other services, said Social Security Commissioner Michael J. Astrue.”

The article said top girl names tend to change from year to year — while the top boy names are more stable. William has been a popular boy’s name for more than 100 years, never falling out of the top 20. Mason is the exception, entering the top 100 for the first time in 1997.

The fastest rising name for girls: Briella, which jumped 394 spots, to No. 497. Briella Calafiore stars in “Jerseylicious,” a reality TV show about battling stylists at a beauty salon in

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July/August 2012

Green Brook, N.J. She’s also in a spinoff called “Glam Fairy.”

In addition to popular culture, Americans get baby names from religion and relatives. In the past, the traditional biblical names were John, James and Mary and Elizabeth, but today, “the hot names are all names from the Old Testament precisely because they were neglected for so many generations,” the article stated.

In addition to Jacob and Noah, Elijah at No. 13 and Joshua at No. 14 are all from the Old Testament.

Parents often are advised not to discuss the name they have selected with others until their child has been born. It can be rather awkward when a name is shared with people who suggest that, well, perhaps, maybe another name would be better.

Above are the top 10 boys’ and girls’ names for babies born in Indiana 2011 as listed at ssa.gov. The number following the name is the number of Hoosier children given that name in 2011.

fwFamily.com

<<< THE FUTURE

TekVenture Regional Maker Faire will stimulate innovation TekVenture is a public art and technology laboratory being developed in the Fort Wayne downtown area The 2nd Annual Fort Wayne Regional Maker Faire — Powered by TekVenture will be Oct. 6 from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Oct. 7 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Headwaters Park East under the Lincoln Pavilion.

The event is a partnership with MAKE (makezine.com), a quarterly magazine documenting the national maker movement.

“I enjoy the Maker Faire because it showcases everyday people doing wild and interesting things. So much so that it inspired me to build the Twinkie Mobile which you will see around town throughout

the summer,” said Scott Rizzo, a local participant.

The event is free to “makers” who might work with robotics, remote-controlled vehicles, rapid prototyping equipment, woodworking, green technologies, digital art, metalwork, fabric design, glassmaking, etc.

Makers who want to sell to the public will be charged a small fee. Makers interested in participating should complete a Call for Makers (makerfairefortwayne.com.) as soon as possible. Space is limited.

More than 100 makers are anticipated to participate. Most exhibitors will actually be making something in their space. The goal is to create an environment where makers connect with one another and the general public can connect with the maker movement through creative and innovative

Lift up BY

FIRST EVER

people while learning their problem-solving processes.

The event will include attractions to draw public interest such as hands-on learning opportunities such as a soldering workshop and how to weld; seminars on pertinent topics; TinkerTown, a place for young makers 4 -14; food; and entertainment.

Guest tickets will soon be available for purchase on Eventbrite.com.

TekVenture is a public art and technology laboratory being developed in the near downtown area. The goal is to create a public intersection between imagination, technology, art and community. In partnership with the Allen County Public Library, TekVenture (tekventure.org) is operating in the Maker Station, a 50’ trailer housing a variety of tools to demonstrate the design to fabrication cycle.

D FKLOG¶V YRLFH $ FKLOG¶V OLIH

JOINING US! FRIDAY, JULY 20, 2012 12:30 PM

OUTING

Entry Deadline, July 13

FOR NORTHEASTERN INDIANA CASA AT COBBLESTONE GOLF COURSE

$250 A FOURSOME (4 PERSON SCRAMBLE HOLE IN ONE CONTEST) Food & Beverage Tasting Provided by: House of Spirits, Grid Iron & Pizza Hut

+HOS DQ DEXVHG RU QHJOHFWHG FKLOG # QHLQFDVD QHW fwFamily.com

July/August 2012

7

BREASTFEEDING

Tackling the ‘breast is best’ challenge Nursing moms may face many challenges, but support is out there

BY KRISTY JOHNSON When I was pregnant with my son, one veteran mother said to me, “Breastfeeding is just like riding a bike. There’s a bit of a learning curve, but once you’ve got the hang of it, you can climb mountains.”

As an avid cyclist, her analogy resonated with me. I have ridden my bike thousands of miles, on multiple continents, over hundreds of bona fide mountains that left me arduously cranking my pedals to the tune of my heartbeat pounding in my ears. And yet, I nearly did not make it up the proverbial breastfeeding mountain.

Shortly after delivering my beautiful baby boy, Felix, I learned that I had inverted nipples, a condition that affects 10-20 percent of women but often goes undiagnosed until circumstances like breastfeeding arise. This condition is characterized by nipples that cave inward rather than point outward, making it difficult for a child to latch on and eat.

Nevertheless, I was adamant that I wanted to breastfeed my little boy. Numerous studies have indicated that breastfed babies have fewer illnesses, are less vulnerable to allergies, and show enhanced cognitive development.

Breastfed babies are also less likely to become overweight or obese and have a decreased risk of developing diabetes, high blood pressure, and certain childhood cancers. And if that was not enough, breastfeeding appears to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

Thus, desperate to feed my son and bestow the Goodness of Mother’s Milk upon him, I rented a hospital-grade breast pump and began pumping before and after every feeding. With the help of a silicon nipple shield and regular trips to the Lactation Support group at the hospital, I was soon producing enough milk for triplets and Felix was guzzling it down like a champion.

Still, the process was an exhausting, painful one, and See BREASTFEEDING page 9

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July/August 2012

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED

WHILE KRISTY JOHNSON and her son, Felix, hike in Yosemite National Park, Felix takes a quick break from a hard day. In addition to regular meals of solid food, Felix continues to nurse three to four times a day to supplement his nutrition and boost his immunity.

fwFamily.com

BREASTFEEDING From Page 8

I remember often wondering during those first few weeks why I had not heard more about the challenges of a lactating mama. In fact, while the ubiquitous “Breast is Best” campaign has encouraged more than 67 percent of Indiana mothers to at least attempt breastfeeding, the number of moms still exclusively nursing at six months is scarcely 11 percent.

Often, women are deterred by sore or cracked nipples, clogged milk ducts, infections, lack of support, or difficulties transitioning back to the workplace.

Premature infants or particularly small babies can pose additional challenges as their mouths are not strong enough to acquire sufficient milk directly from the breast. In my own experience, Felix was full-term but just happened to be on the small side of average (6 pounds, 2 ounces at birth), and we were

told that after 15 minutes of suckling, his body was actually burning more calories trying to eat than he was receiving.

Nevertheless, the perseverance paid off.

After the first few months, breastfeeding was a joy and a pleasure, thanks largely to the dedication and support of the hospital staff and several excellent lactation consultants, as well as the camaraderie of other new moms overcoming the same obstacles. These support networks were invaluable and are essential for other new mothers experiencing similar difficulties.

Breastfeeding, though mountain it may be, is one of the most beneficial, precious, and natural gifts of motherhood. The emotional bond it generates between a mother and her child is incomparable, and it is worth every ounce of effort a mom can muster. Felix just turned 1 and continues to nurse with gusto, and now I can honestly add — to those mothers just beginning the climb — the view from the top is extraordinary.

More information La Leche League International (llli.org) — In addition to great articles and forums, find a La Leche League support group near you. A strong network of support is essential to a successful breastfeeding experience. Dads are welcome too.

KellyMom (kellymom.com) Babycenter (babycenter.com)

Recommendations The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life, followed by supplemented breastfeeding for two years or more. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life, followed by supplemented breastfeeding for at least one year.

newER

State of the art. Close to home.

DeKalbHealth.com

fwFamily.com

July/August 2012

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GROWING UP

Milestones open new doors

BY ERIN DOUCETTE As I have said before, raising children is a constantly changing job.

We are going through several transitions at our house.

Ella is on the verge of being an independent swimmer. She can swim underwater and keep herself afloat. Before long, I foresee I am not quite leaving her floaties at home emotionally and she’ll be jumping off the diving board like the “big ready to put kids.” This is huge.

Not to mention, she’ll be price tags on and in kindergarten this fall. say goodbye to Kindergarten. She will be all these baby picked up by a bus and taken into this big scary items, but boy, world all by herself. (OK, I I’m kinda happy may still be working through fears about this.) about seeing myEva just got a “big girl” them go. bed. The crib, which has been in my house for 5 years, is now disassembled and in the garage. The baby Erin Doucette blankets and crib sheets are packed up as well. Now I am not quite emotionally ready to put price tags on and say goodbye to all these baby items, but boy, I’m kinda happy about seeing them go.

I love that we are moving into a phase of having two kids, rather than a kid and a baby.

There will be no hauling of the Pack-nPlay this year for our annual camping trip. No baby camping seat to attach to the picnic table either.

Eva enjoys going to the movies now too, so we have that option again in our life. And she seems to be a little less needy these days.

‘‘

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July/August 2012

In fact, we’re about to take a trip to Chicago on the train and I would not have done that with her a year ago.

Maybe we can venture out a lot farther even, knowing she can communicate well and would even be entertained by a movie for part of the trip. I would love to go somewhere warm during the winter. And maybe one day See TODDLERS page 11

fwFamily.com

ERIN DOUCETTE

EVA DOUCETTE, 2, AND ELLA DOUCETTE, 5, can do

more and more activities, like water balloons, together as Eva gets older.

Kohl’s Healthy Kids:

Meal-time Mania Try these strategies to maximize nutrition and enjoyment at your family’s dinner table. æ Lead by example — If you’re asking your child to eat certain foods, then you should eat them too. æ A parent decides when and what to offer — The child decides which and how much to eat. Do not give your child adult-sized portions or force him or her to clean the plate. æ Don’t give up on healthy alternatives — Continue to offer healthy foods along with family favorites. It can take up to 20 or more exposures for a child to accept a new food. æ Get creative — Try hiding small amounts of pureed or grated vegetables, such as carrots, in casseroles, soups or sauces.

ERIN DOUCETTE

ELLA GETS HER younger sister, Eva, with a water balloon.

æ Kitchen helper — Involve your child with ageappropriate tasks. Kids are more interested in what is served when they help plan or prepare meals.

TODDLERS

Your child will enjoy helping to prepare this recipe. Leave the apple slicing to a parent.

From Page 10

we’ll head out West with them.

And at home the girls can do more things together this summer than ever. As a 1-year-old, last summer Eva wasn’t great on the swings or going up the stairs. Now she’s keeping up with Ella.

I still read blogs of moms who had babies around the same time I did. Some of them are still having babies. One is on her third and is getting up during the night again, nursing several times a night. All while running her two preschoolers around during the day. Begging for an hour to herself during the day.

Wow, that sounds rough.

And I have had some needy babies. Eva took a long, long time before she became comfortable around a babysitter. And she just recently went through another phase of not wanting to leave my side. And I think I’ve mentioned several times, my first baby wouldn’t take a single bottle her first year of life. She was literally attached to me for a year.

And I do remember the sweetness of holding a baby and all those little baby clothes and they actually do sleep quite a bit (during the day!). And really you can take them anywhere, if you are equipped with a giant bag of necessities.

But, man, I really like this independence and the new doors that are opening up to us.

A coworker told me that her sister always said with her kids “every phase is better than the next.” Her child is now grown and was about to get married. I bet she thinks she’s at the best phase yet.

Turkey, Spinach and Apple Wrap 1 Tbsp. reduced-fat mayo 2 tsp. honey mustard 2 whole-wheat flour tortillas 4 thin slices turkey breast (4 ounces) 1 Granny Smith apple, sliced paper thin 2 c. baby spinach leaves, or two large leaves of soft, leafy green lettuce Wash and dry spinach. Combine mayo and mustard. Spread edges of each tortilla with mayo mixture. Leaving a margin free on the side closest to you, arrange a layer of spinach on top of tortillas and top each layer with turkey. Evenly divide apple slices and lay lengthwise across turkey. Fold over the end of the tortilla closest to you, then the two sides. Roll the tortilla as tightly as possible. Cover each tortilla tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate, seam side down, up to 4 hours before serving. When ready to serve, remove plastic wrap and cut each wrap in half, at an angle.

Reference: www.aicr.org

fwFamily.com

July/August 2012

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P R O G R A M F O R PA R E N T S

Traits of ‘spirited child’ can lead to successful adulthood

BY SUSAN COOK Do people characterize your child as “difficult” or “strong-willed”? Do you love your child but sometimes feel like throwing up your hands in despair? Maybe you have a “spirited child.”

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D. is a best-selling author The same traits and internationally lecturer and that can be recognized parent educator. A former difficult for director of one of Minnesota’s early childhood family parents to deal largest education programs, Mary is with when their the founder of the Spirited child is little are Child and Kids, Parents and Power Struggles workshops. actually excellent Through her research, adult traits. Kurcinka has assisted hundreds of parents.

Susan Cook When she became a mom, she quickly realized that her son “was normal but definitely more: more sensitive, more intense, more persistent, more perceptive and slower to transition.”

Because of him, she says, she began her research into behavior, temperament and individual differences. Her studies gave birth to the term “spirited child.”

“I learned that there are many children who are more and that their parents needed information and support,” she said.

“Raising Your Spirited Child” was written to help all parents understand themselves and their children.

The book is filled with practical advice and real-life examples that every parent can use to make life easier to navigate for their child. This also makes family life easier to navigate. Parents whose children are not considered spirited can also benefit from reading the book. Kurcinka offers many insights into the reasons children can be stressed and ways to

Free programs Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D. will be in northeast Indiana to present a free program for parents, teachers and caregivers.

The program is sponsored by Early Childhood Alliance with a grant from the AWS Foundation and Dekko Foundation.

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July/August 2012

MORE INFORMATION: Contact Tricia Willard at 745-2501 or twillard@ECAlliance.org or visit ECAlliance.org.

PROGRAM: Raising Your Spirited Child MARY SHEEDY KURCINKA, ED.D., author of “Raising Your

FOR: Parents and teachers; no registration required

prepare for or avoid those stressors.

One parent told me, “This book helped me understand that not only is nothing wrong with my son, but in fact, he will be a successful adult one day.

The same traits that can be difficult for parents to deal with when their child is little are actually excellent adult traits. They will help him become a successful, creative adult. My job as a parent is to help him understand and learn to deal with his feelings. The truth is, once my attitude changed, the way I worked with my son changed and we have found a unique, funny, and truly talented little person.”

Another parent said, “This book helped me to understand some of the reasons ‘why’. It also helped me to understand how much my personality affects how we deal with things together.”

WHEN: Friday, Aug. 24, 7 – 9 p.m.

Spirited Child”

fwFamily.com

WHERE: Cornerstone at First Assembly of God, 1400 West Washington Center Road, Fort Wayne OR WHEN: Saturday, Aug. 25, 9 – 11 a.m.

WHERE: East Noble High School, Cole Auditorium, 901 Garden St., Kendallville

fwFamily.com

July/August 2012

13

HANDLING GRIEF

‘‘

When a child gets stuck, as seems to be the case with your son, it is often the case that continued discussion of the child’s feelings is going to make matters worse rather than better.

John Rosemond

’’

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED

Grief should be allowed to run its course

… usually, but some people get ‘stuck’

BY JOHN ROSEMOND Q: My husband was killed nearly a year ago, and my 11-year-old son is still having a difficult time with it. Before the accident, he was always cheerful and social and hardly ever complained.

That still describes him, most of the time, but every now and again he slips into moods where he is just the opposite. These episodes occur once

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fwFamily.com

every couple of weeks and last for a couple of days, on average.

I took him to see a therapist, but I saw no change after three months of weekly sessions, so I took him out. When these moods happen, we talk about how special his dad was and how much he misses him, but I don’t think I’m making any headway.

A: Over the past 40 or so years, a number of researchers have identified the stages of the See GRIEF page 15

GRIEF From Page 14

grieving process. These include denial, anger, depression, and final acceptance. The general feeling among mental health professionals is that the process should be allowed to run its course, which takes longer in some individuals than in others.

That’s generally good advice, but as is the case with most general rules, there are exceptions. Some people, for example, get “hung up” at some point in the process. They need facilitators who can help them get unstuck and move on. That role can be served by a therapist, a friend who’s gone through the process, or a group of people who are all grieving for similar reasons.

When a child gets stuck, as seems to be the case with your son, it is often the case that continued discussion of the child’s feelings is going to make matters worse rather than better. I was recently discussing this very issue with a psychologist who works with military families who have lost a loved one in war.

He said that one of his biggest challenges is recognizing when talking about a person’s feelings has become counterproductive.

My educated guess is that your son has reached the point where the more he talks about how much he misses his dad, the more he’s going to miss his dad and the more often he’s going to slip into these funks of his. He needs someone to help him get unstuck, and I suggest that you’re in the best position to give him that gentle push.

Don’t wait for the next episode. Instead, talk to him when the proverbial iron is cold. Say something along these lines: “I’ve noticed that when we talk about your dad and how much you miss him, we are talking about things we’ve talked about before.

That’s good, because it means that there’s really nothing more to say. So I’ve decided that from now on, we’re only going to talk about your dad twice a month, every other Saturday morning (for example) right after breakfast. That’s the best time because neither of us has to be anywhere and we can talk as long as we need to. The new rule,however, is that we can’t talk about stuff we’ve already talked about. We have to talk about new stuff.”

That will mean that you have to enforce two rules: first, you only talk twice a month; second, you don’t go over stuff you’ve already talked about.

Initially, you may need to say things like, “I’ve noticed that you might be thinking about your dad again. That’s fine. Take some time to think about what we’re going to talk about next Saturday. Write it down so you don’t forget, but remember, we only talk about new stuff.”

The combination of your authority and the new rules will provide exactly what he needs to begin resolving his sadness and moving on. The likelihood is, when it comes time for a scheduled talk session, he really won’t have much, if anything, to talk about. That, in fact, is the goal.

fwFamily.com

DriveOfYourLife.org Of f

TripToCollege.org C

All they need are the tools to get there.

These resources are online and totally FREE! Explore different career paths. Prepare for career training or college. Plus students and parents can network and stay up-to-date on the latest college and career planning news via Trip To College on Facebook.

find us on facebook: facebook.com/triptocollege

July/August 2012

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COVER STORY

>>>

<<< COVER STORY

This recipe is from Amy Oberlin of The Herald Republican in Angola.

“Jim Shilander (a former KPC employee) used to make avocado ice cream.

It was delicious, rich and creamy,” Amy said. She believes this recipe on the Food Network site is the same as Jim’s: Ingredients: • 12 ounces avocado meat, approximately 3 small to medium • 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice • 1 1/2 cups whole milk • 1/2 cup sugar

‘‘

Enjoy the

AVOCADO ICE CREAM

Funny relay races are good: running through hoops, sliding on plastic covered with oil, carrying water in a cup with a hole in it or sack races.

sun … the run … the fun How about trying something really different this summer?

LeAnn Robinson

’’

• 1 cup heavy cream Peel and pit the avocados.

Add the avocados, lemon juice, milk and sugar to a blender and puree.

Transfer the mixture to a medium mixing bowl, add the heavy cream and whisk to combine. Place mixture in refrigerator and chill until it reaches 40 degrees F or below, approximately 4 to 6 hours.

Process the mixture in an ice cream maker according to manufacturer’s directions. However, this mixture sets up very fast, so count on it taking only 5 to 10 minutes to process. For soft ice cream, serve immediately.

If desired, place in freezer for 3 to 4 hours for firmer texture.

BY GRACE HOUSHOLDER

H

ow about trying something really different this summer: A family olympics? Backyard camping?

Avocado ice cream? A road race?

Here are family fun ideas that you may not have thought of yet!

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED

Family olympics About seven or eight years ago, LeAnn Robinson of Kendallville suggested the idea for “an olympics or something” when family members were just sitting around talking. They put ideas together and now more than 100 family and friends gather for “an Olympics” every August.

Family members meet at a restaurant one month prior to decide on games and who will bring what. They now have a logo, T-shirts and an “official” olympic torch made by LeAnn’s brother. The olympics are at the Don and LaVera McCoy farm (LeAnn’s parents) outside Avilla. Its pond makes it an ideal location.

The olympics are just one day, but family members and close friends camp by the pond and make a weekend out of it.

All ages participate. Older ones watch, judge or play horseshoes or corn hole.

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED

See SUMMER FUN page 18

16

July/August 2012

fwFamily.com

Top and right photos: Family olympics can involve family and friends of all ages. Left photo, the Lowe family of Ligonier enjoy backyard camping. Nate and Anne Lowe are the parents of Lydia, 11; Isaiah, 8; and Micah, 4. They camp in the backyard of a church they neighbor. They like backyard camping because they don’t have to pack a bunch of stuff, they can use the bathroom at home, run home for snacks and camping can be spontaneous. They caution that it can get cold at night so be sure to dress warmly.

A bonfire — often with friends — is a favorite part of the experience.

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED

July/August 2012

17

COVER STORY

>>>

SUMMER FUN From Page 17

The most popular event is the whiffle ball tournament. Everyone plays if they want to — from the littlest to the oldest.

Also popular are the canoe races on the pond and the giant Slip ‘n Slide that runs down the hill at the back of the pond. It is more than 150 feet long. They drip soapy water down it all day. People can’t get enough of it, and they now have a traveling trophy for the slip ‘n’ slide free-style event. Angie and Troy Mynhier have won it twice. She pushed him down in a baby carriage last year!

LeAnn advises families to try to keep it simple. Funny relay races are good: running through hoops, sliding on plastic covered with oil, carrying water in a cup with a hole in it or sack races.

LeAnn saves the games and rules on her computer. Each year she prints them out again, attaches them to a clip board for each team and they are set to play.

Scores are posted to fuel the competition!

Homemade ice cream TOSS AND EAT ICE CREAM

This recipe is from Nichole HachaThomas, editor, KPC’s Times Community Publications.

“Our Girl Scouts made homemade ice cream every year at camp,” she said. All we needed was ice, salt, milk, sugar, flavoring and two Ziploc bags each. It is fun and yummy!”

1. Fill a large Ziploc bag with 5 cups of ice and 1/8 cup of salt. Zip. 2. Fill smaller Ziploc bag with 1 1/2 cups cup of milk, 1/2 tsp of flavoring (chocolate, vanilla, strawberry syrup) and 1 tablespoon of sugar. Zip very tight.

WIN PRIZES! Visit all 5 neighborhoods to enter drawing.

3. Insert the small bag into the big bag.

4. Throw baggies back and forth to one another. Or you can massage the bag, throw it up in the air and catch it. Do that for about 10 minutes or until the ice cream has formed.

Road race My sister Vi Wysong of Wawaka gave me this suggestion to share with families.

Their children are grown, but she remembers that they used to love to go to road races together. “We would all run our varying paces,” she said. “We always got an informal ‘family discount’ when they saw it was all of us. It was fun for me, because I always was last — sometimes barely running at the end — but the kids and Phil would come back and cheer me on! My goal was just to finish!”

Saturday, August 4, 2012 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

Noble County Fairgrounds Tots - Middle School

AN INTERACTIVE LEARNING FAIR FOR KIDS & THEIR FAMILIES VISIT ALL 5 NEIGHBORHOODS: Arts & Culture • Communication • Community • Environment & Science Health & Fitness Free • Fun • Prizes • Concessions Available Stories • Animals • Games • Building Projects • Hobbies Gardening • Crafts • Police Dogs & More E-mail: kidcity@kpcnews.net 18

July/August 2012

fwFamily.com

<<< INTERACTIVE FUN

THESE PHOTOS TAKEN BY CHAD KLINE during KidCity 2011 help illustrate how KidCity fulfills its mission to be an interactive fun learning experience for children and families, focusing on communication, literacy, fitness, community, culture, science and the arts.

KidCity seeks to expose kids and families to information and services which support learning, personal growth and healthy living.

See you at KidCity Aug 4

BY BECKY CALHOUN What’s on the calendar for the first Saturday in August? KIDCITY of course!

For the eighth year KidCity — an interactive learning fair — will be filling the Noble County Fairgrounds with fun, educational activities for families.

KidCity’s five neighborhoods — Community, Communications & Literacy, Health & Fitness, Arts & Culture and Environment & Science — offer tots

through middle school kids and their families fun activities while exposing them to learning opportunities and practical information, and connecting them with learning and family resources available in and around Noble County.

Families will find many of their favorite activities like breaking boards with Hayden’s ATA students and painting with Weible’s Paints returning.

Science Central will be encouraging space exploration and the Fort Wayne Zoo will provide kids a chance to meet some

fwFamily.com

friendly zoo animals.

There will be fire trucks, radio broadcasts, farm animals, building projects, art projects, dancing, singing and lots more. With nearly 100 activities every child is sure to find something that intrigues them.

Families should plan to come and spend the day at KidCity 2012. Save the date: Saturday, Aug. 4, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. There is no admission fee and a free lunch will be available for the kids.

Parking for the day is $3.

July/August 2012

19

COLLEGE PREP

‘‘

Collegeboard, the nonprofit that administers the SAT, has found a correlation between family income and SAT score — the higher the income, the higher the score. ... The difference results from these families having access to resources such as tutors, test preparation courses and other materials that help their students understand the tests and perform better.

Kate Coffman

’’ 20

July/August 2012

STUDENTS CAN PRACTICE SAT questions for free at the Collegeboard website, collegeboard.org.

Summer time is test preparation time

BY KATE COFFMAN In Indiana, students from third grade to 12th grade are taking standardized tests. Whether it is the ISTEP exam or the SAT, strong reading, writing and math skills are critical to doing well. Summer is a great time to prepare for these tests by helping students improve their skills in those critical areas and by helping kids familiarize themselves with the exams.

Most colleges in the U.S. require a student to take the SAT or ACT for admission. Most college admission officers recommend taking both. The SAT has three sections — critical reasoning, math and writing. Each section is worth 800 points for a total fwFamily.com

composite score of 2400. The highest ACT score is 36. The ACT sections are English, math, reading and science, with an optional writing section. Students should begin taking these tests in 11th grade, but preparation should begin as early as ninth grade.

Collegeboard, the nonprofit that administers the SAT, has found a correlation between family income and SAT score — the higher the income, the higher the score. These findings do not mean middle- and upper-class kids are smarter. The difference results from these families having access to resources such as tutors, test preparation courses and other materials that help their students understand the See COLLEGE PREP page 21

Share time, love at the Ronald McDonald House The Ronald McDonald House needs volunteers to help staff the new house at Parkview Regional Medical Center on Dupont Road, Fort Wayne.

Volunteers are present 365 days a year and help keep the services of the Ronald McDonald House free to guest families.

Volunteers receive training on how to interact with guests, be good listeners and offer quiet support.

They give tours, check-in guests, answer phones, keep the refrigerators stocked and batches of cookies in the oven. Most importantly, they maintain a soothing environment that provides comfort and privacy.

The Ronald McDonald House is open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday through Sunday.

Volunteers work a three hour shift each week.

Visit RMHC-NEIndiana.org and click on the How to Help link to get an application. Call: 373-3590 or email teresa.white@parkview.com for more information.

Opening in 2002, the Ronald McDonald House at Parkview is a homeaway-from home for families of ill or injured children. The Ronald McDonald House serves the families of all dependent children 21 and under.

The Ronald McDonald House is available at absolutely no charge to the guest families, whether they stay one day or many months.

COLLEGE PREP From Page 20

tests and perform better. By learning the format and content of typical test questions and answering practice questions regularly, students can greatly improve their scores.

But parents who cannot afford tutors and test preparation courses still can take advantage of free resources to prepare for standardized tests. Students can practice SAT questions at the Collegeboard website, collegeboard.org. ACT also offers practice questions on its site, act.org. Practice guides are sold in bookstores or can be borrowed from libraries. Understanding the directions to each section and what is being tested before taking the actual test can save students time on test day — time that can be devoted to answering more questions. The more questions answered correctly, the better the score.

For students who are taking end-ofcourse assessments or the ISTEP exams, practice tests can be found on the Indiana Department of Education website at doe.in.gov.

It’s also very important for every 10thgrader to take the free PSAT. The Indiana Department of Education pays for students to take the test, which will be administered on Oct. 17 this year. The PSAT format is similar to the SAT. Some consider it a practice SAT — but it actually is used to determine National Merit Scholarship finalists and recipients. Too many students miss the opportunity to take advantage of this free test, so have your child ask a high school guidance counselor to register for the PSAT. And one final reminder; kids who remain active during the summer forget less of what they learned during the school year. So have them get out, play and read at least 15 minutes per day to keep their bodies and minds sharp.

Family Friendly Commercial Free

wbcl.org fwFamily.com

July/August 2012

21

HUMOR HELPS >>>

A stray dog showed up at Coleen’s house while she was watching her grandson, Kayden, 3. Kayden wanted to go pet it but Coleen told him they couldn’t because they didn’t know if it was a nice doggy. Kayden matter-offactly said, “Gramma, just ask the puppy if he is nice! Don’t worry ‘bout it Gramma, I will do it. HEY, PUPPY — ARE YOU A NICE PUPPY?” Then Kayden looked at Coleen and said, “We better go inside because the puppy didn’t answer me.”

— COLEEN ROSS OF LAGRANGE

Jakob, 8, was with his stepmother when she went into false labor. He told her, “Breathe, just breathe.

Breathe. Breathe!” She said with surprise, “How do you know anything about this?”

Jakob replied, “I do watch TV!” Fortunately, his stepmother is doing fine.

— GALE SPENCE (GRANDMOTHER OF JAKOB) OF ANGOLA A couple of years ago the Gisels had taken the old cars and trucks to the Father’s Day Car Show at the Windmill Museum. It was very hot and there was no breeze. After parking the cars and putting the awning up for shade, they took a break in the shade. Blaine, 6, sat down in his lawn chair under the awning and declared, “It sure is hot!

Why don’t they turn on some of those fans?”

— TOM AND DARLENE GISEL OF KENDALLVILLE 22

July/August 2012

“THESE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN

cooling off on a hot Memorial Day,” wrote Lori Masters of Fremont. Pictured are Emily, Jackson and Olivia Foster.

They are the children of Sarah and Tyler Foster.

HUMOR

HELPS

Readers, if you have a true funny kid story (or a collection of stories) involving you or your co-workers, friends, students or family, please call me at 260-347-0738 or e-mail me at graceh@fwfamily.com.

— BY GRACE HOUSHOLDER

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Bev had both of her nephews in the car with her and she asked them what they wanted to be when they grow up. PJ, 8, answered that he want to be an astronaut. Sean, 6, said he wanted to be a pizza seller that sells pizza for $1.

— AUNT BEV OF SYRACUSE

<<< HUMOR HELPS

â&#x20AC;˘ Breann, 7, was doing her homework for first grade.

Her mom sat down at the table with her to do something she had to do. Breann looked at her mother and said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I do my business and you do yours, so just shift your business over there.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;˘ While admiring her 2-month-old baby sister, Addyson, Breann said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You are the best blessing I ever had!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;˘ Cheyenne, 4, was at Zelmaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house. Zelma asked her if she would like to see her new bedroom suite.

Cheyenne looked at Zelma and said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I already saw it.â&#x20AC;? Zelma asked her, â&#x20AC;&#x153;When? You havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been here in awhile.â&#x20AC;? Cheyenne said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Zelma, I watched the constitution worker putting it together before they brought it in to your house. I stood on my bed and watched them.â&#x20AC;? (Cheyenne was referring to the delivery people.) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; STORIES FROM ZELMA FELTNER OF KENDALLVILLE. Breann is her granddaughter and Cheyenne is her neighbor:

Betty was driving with her son, Derek (then 7, now 20). Betty pointed out a big hawk sitting on a fence post along the highway. Derek said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;That hawk works for the police department. When it sees someone speeding, it flies back to the police station and lets them know so they can arrest them.â&#x20AC;? A few minutes later as Betty came around a big curve in the road, there sat a police car with its lights flashing. The policeman had pulled someone over. Without missing a beat Derek said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;See? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s working.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; BETTY MURRAY OF LAGRO

Bev was working on a word search puzzle about breads and it reminded her of a recent conversation that she had overheard. As usual, when her nieces and nephews arrive at Grandmaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (Bevâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s home) they are hungry.

When PJ, 8, took the bun Grandma handed to him, he asked, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Is this the only bread you have, Grandma?â&#x20AC;? She replied, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have whole wheat grain bread, but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think you like it.â&#x20AC;? PJ responded, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re right, I only like white grain bread.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; AUNT BEV OF SYRACUSE

The Brethren Retreat at Shipshewana Lake Refreshing Spirits

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<RXQJ DW +HDUW 5HWUHDW IRU

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Â&#x2021; *UHDW )RRG Â&#x2021; &DPSĂ&#x20AC; UH 6LQJ DORQJ Â&#x2021; +RPHPDGH ,FH &UHDP Â&#x2021; 7DEOH *DPHV Â&#x2021; 9DULHW\ 6KRZ Â&#x2021; $XFWLRQ IRU 0LVVLRQV Â&#x2021; 0HPRULDO *DUGHQ 6HUYLFH Â&#x2021; 6KLSVKH 6KRS )OHD 0DUNHW Â&#x2021; /DXJK 5HĂ HFW 5HOD[ Â&#x2021; /RWV RI 6QDFNV Â&#x2021; 72856 Â&#x2021; 6LOYHU 6WDU /HDWKHU Â&#x2021; 3O\OH\¡V +DQGPDGH &DQGLHV Â&#x2021; % / :RRGFUDIWHUV

9095 W 275 N â&#x20AC;˘ Shipshewana, IN 46565 â&#x20AC;˘ 260-768-4519 â&#x20AC;˘ Register online: www.brethrenretreat.org fwFamily.com

July/August 2012

23

COMMUNITY

>>>

New online tool helps identify high quality child care choices Website provides comparison of area day care facilities Early Childhood Alliance now has a digital tool to help northeast Indiana families assess child care facilities for quality, safety and other benchmarks, and to take a “virtual tour” of select facilities. Child Care Online is a free, Internet search tool to easily and conveniently compare child care programs, and to help parents or guardians identify a range of high quality care choices. It is available at childcareindiana.org or on Early Childhood Alliance’s website: ECAlliance.org.

According to Pam Leffers, Early Childhood Alliance program director, “This important search tool provides photos of classrooms, play areas, and equipment, as well as descriptions of a program’s philosophy, meals and snacks, rest times, staff profiles and fees. With this detailed information, parents can research programs which meet their specific needs.”

Child Care Online is available for all families in Indiana through the Indiana Bureau of Child Care in partnership with the Indiana Association for Child Care Resource and Referral and the Indiana Association for the Education of Young Children.

Child Care Online is a feature of Paths to Quality, Indiana’s voluntary quality rating and improvement system for child care programs. Indiana is among the states with the highest percentage of child care programs that are nationally accredited and meet the highest standards.

More than 1,145 Indiana child care programs have achieved, or are working toward the state’s highest level of care — national accreditation. Child Care Online will highlight programs that are providing rich learning environments for children. To learn more about child care resources visit childcareindiana.org.

Listening To Your Family’s Medical Needs

Well into the FUTURE 260.665.2141 www.CameronMCH.com

24

July/August 2012

fwFamily.com

<<< FREE FUN

Cahoots offers free summer fun for ages 12-18 ANGOLA — Cahoot’s Coffee Cafe has a free summer fun schedule planned for children between the ages of 12-18.

The goal is to give kids a free, safe, fun place to spend part of their time with positive activities.

The scheduled activities at Cahoot’s, 218 W. Maumee St., will end when the kids go back to school in the fall.

The schedule will include: • Tuesdays from noon to 2 p.m., a writing workshop with no materials required, only an imagination and determination to write.

• Tuesdays from 6-9 p.m., backyard bashes with games, music, food.

• Adventures in discovery from noon-2 p.m. each Wednesday; something different each week.

• Thursdays from 1-3 p.m. sports and games.

• Thursdays will also feature tell it like it is from 4-5 p.m. with an honest discussion on a timely topic and a snack.

For more details, call 624-2399.

Cahoot’s is a joint ministry between Angola United Methodist Church and First Congregational United Church of Christ.

Your Y o our news. Your Your way.

Get Reading!

clubs Explore book at area libraries

‘21 Jump Street’

Sunday

take Read Jenny’s on the remake

Hoosiers Win

IU tops VCU, 16 heads to Sweet Page B1

Page C1

Page C6

March 18, 2012

Weather Chance of showers and storms today 78. with high near of 57.

Expect a low Page B8

$1.25

kpcnews.com

Next stop: Illinois

Indiana Kendallville,

GOOD MORNING

GOP rivals head own to next showdRico (AP)

Puerto BAYAMON, toward the critical — Looking Republican Mitt primary in Illinois, front-runner presidential Romney wrapped up a shortened to campaign trip on Puerto Rico he Saturday as more prepared for tough contestsrival against chief Rick Santorum.

Santorum The former Massachusetts governor dramatihis cally curtailed trip to the U.S. territory, which holds its primary of s been today, in favor high pressure that’ spending more had a ridge of time in Illinois, “We’ve kind of Romney have the South.”

O where polls warm air from

BY MIKE MARTURELL shown him slightly bringing in the mikem@kpcnews.net to When the weather ahead of had planned ANGOLA — to Santorum. Romney and visit a from winter at started turning spend the weekend Courtney Obergfell week, the folks Indiana today, but instead Auburn summer last Service Northern polling place immediately after a Golf Club in r Weather Bridgewate guard.

National left the island . got caught off expecting some early morning appearance Puerto Rico and They were but not the level Santorum left and was spending the snow disappears course, the on “When week people play where he earlier this seeing dirt, with.

South,” (in in Missouri, air from the you can start they ended upcaught a little off the morning that interested again up that warm The result has been “We were start getting guys in the showroom already won a primary finally got enough Obergfell said. the 70s with lows Missouri The been delegates. boating). in seeing guard. But we no es have and they’re week in a awarded temperatur drinks were meeting the first better part of are keeping busy, hot dogs and said Terry Archbold Republicans near 50 for the average high is care of everybody.

Saturday, some activity,” able to take to said Ivan Foster, county caucuses Marine Center, when the daily 45 degrees. choosing delegates of Dry Dock We’re OK now,” l. step toward who are typically around Thursday or Angola. head golf professionadependent on national convention dirt is what matters dat Until possibly been a strongWhat’s in the If the ground is too the sp cific cand Many businesses hasn’t are seeing an of the comm tted to Friday, there so l for golf courses. warmer weather due to the recent enough system to come outthat’s st ll fro t in the the high soft or ther ’s upswing in activity Arctic to combatm w athe wa warm spell. often come in b ought th the Warming trends but rarel ar purt in March CHAD KLINE

BOB BUTTGEN

Day St. Paddy’s spirt of St.

the Getting into was easy for 15Patrick’s Day Bullock of month-old Natalie sported a Avilla, as she while shamrock dress Noble County attending the her family on Health Fair withhealth fair Saturday. The than 400 attracted more Noble High people to Central School in Albion.

Premiere Edition at state places sixth

BY DENNIS NARTKER t dennisn@kpcnews.ne

— East PLAINFIELDEdition allNoble’s Premiere choir finished women show groups in sixth out of nine show Saturday’s ISSMA for small choir state finals at Plainfield division schools High School.

Starlights The Northridge followed place, captured first by the New Castle in second and Dynamiques School Sound DeKalb Highthird.

Sensation in Knight East Noble’s choir did not Rhythms mixedstate finals. qualify for the cho rs i Othe all-wom

le watches of Kendallvil Rick Nowels the hole at CobbleAvid golfer coasts toward Kendallville Friday as his putt Course in rural stone Golf

ne said at Cobblesto its 13 Representatives has opened in afternoon. course earliest the this is the years of business.

er about suoutmm Thinking and about siasts outdoor enthu Warm spell has

•

Home delivery subscribers s get full access to online o content.

To T o subscribe go to o kpcnews.com or call 1-800-717-4679 1-800 0-717-4679

THE NEWS SUN

The

HERALD Star REPUBLICAN THE

fwFamily.com

July/August 2012

25

FROM ONE MOM TO ANOTHER

>>>

OVERCOMING STRESS

Time away: living water to a parched soul

BY BRENDA JANK

‘‘

I had nothing left to give and my three little boys had so much more they needed that day, and the next, and the next, and the next. The reality of this truth threatened every fiber of my being.

Brenda Jank

’’ 26

July/August 2012

Are you a parent of a child with high needs?

You’re invited to “catch your breath.”

With the relentless sobbing of three preschoolers ringing in my ears, I succumbed to a full-blown mommy meltdown.

“Arghhhhh!” I cried. Burying my face in my hands, I pounded my feet on the floor, mimicking the antics of a tantruming 2-year-old. Little eyes, wide with disbelief, watched as cascading tears soaked the front of my shirt. I sank into the nearest chair, shaking. For THIS PHOTO OF TIM AND BRENDA JANK’S CHILDREN was taken in 2008. months and months I had been running From top to bottom are Josh, Sam, Joe, Anna and Noah. ragged on the fumes of an empty tank. arched, face red, tears falling fast. Josh, 3, was standing I had nothing left to give and my three little boys

by Tim’s side whimpering softly and clinging to his leg. had so much more they needed that day, and the next, Sam, 2, flat on the floor and belly up, was kicking and and the next, and the next. The reality of this truth screaming. threatened every fiber of my being. I adored my diaperLaced with love and no condemnation, Tim added, clad crew, but children are “high need” creatures and “Don’t come back until the boys are in bed.” the job of loving and caring for our children demanded Guilt threatened my next move. Tim was a more more than I had left to give. Our youngest son, Joseph, than competent dad, but this was a mess. Sanity won 8 months, had been born with spina bifida. I was taxed out. and overwhelmed.

“OK,” I said. Tim, bless his heart, sent me on my This particular mommy meltdown (there have been way with this potent reminder. “The most loving thing others) occurred on a Sunday afternoon when my you can do for the kids is to take the time to recharge. husband was out of the house. While my sobs mingled You’re tired, Brenda, you just need a break.” with those of our three sons, I suddenly was surprised This permission to rest was like giving water to a to feel my husband Tim’s hand on my shoulder. I parched and depleted soul. looked up to find him holding out my purse, my Bible Only a mile from home, I had to pull over. Blinded and the car keys.

“Go, Brenda.” His eyes were kind. “We’ll be OK.” See TIME AWAY page 27 What a sight. Joseph was in Tim’s arms, back fwFamily.com

<<< FROM ONE MOM TO ANOTHER

TIME AWAY From Page 26

by tears, I was unfit to drive. The avalanche of emotion bottled up from the past 12 months was enormous: fear, fatigue, hope and heartache (interspersed with joy and gratitude). These daunting emotions vied for my attention, yet were never dealt with in the wake of daily demands, hospital trips and sleepless nights.

This was my first “day away” in years. It was good to cry. Convinced the well-being of my family was at stake, I committed myself to enjoy this gift of rest — guilt free.

I spent the next six hours relishing the silence and delighting in the freedom to do as my heart desired. The beauty of that day echoed into the days that followed. For six hours I did not attend to anyone’s needs or accomplish a single thing. I did not produce, poke, prod or provide anything for anyone. It was a taste of heaven!

That six-hour “day away” 15 years ago was a

day of healing and hope. The ingredients were simple, the time frame was manageable, the results were profound.

Over time, I’ve come to understand that the restorative nature of rest nourishes and revives the deepest places of my heart.

Those inner chambers are the source and center of who I am. When they are neglected, I care for my children, at best, with a selfimposed limp. At my worst, I crash and burn, taking my family down with me.

My passion in life? First, to care for my family (which now includes five children ages 11-18) in ways that allow each of us to thrive.

There are days I buckle, and life is more about surviving than thriving.

Secondly, I desire to extend the invitation of rest and renewal to people of all ages and stages of life. I have a particularly tender place in my heart for those who face long days and short nights — for those whose love runs deep for some of God’s finest people — children and teens who need more and give more than most will ever know.

ENJOY A DAY AWAY Camp Lutherhaven (26 miles northwest of Fort Wayne) opens its doors to personal retreats Monday through Friday at no cost. The retreat is set on 72 acres of rolling hills and lakes. It’s a beautiful place for a day away or over-night getaways. Sculpt your day in any way you choose.

Sleep. Hike. Kayak. Read. Journal.

Nap. Rest. Come … catch your breath.

Camp Lutherhaven, Albion, 6367101, lutherhaven.org Bear Lake Camp, Albion, 799-5988, bearlakecamp.com Brethren Retreat at Shipshewana Lake, 768-4519, brethrenretreat.org Camp Mack/A Quiet Place, Milford, 574-658-3342, campmack.org

KIDS’ EYE CARE SPECIAL DID YOU

KNOW?

• Children should get an eye exam before the age of five.

• Good vision is necessary for proper development and educational progress.

• Untreated eye conditions can lead to vision loss.

Don’t wait…call us today to schedule your child’s eye exam.

TM

Innovative Eye Care Douglas C. Morrow, O.D. • Michelle L. Frye, O.D.

Auburn Office • 1212 N. Main St. • Auburn, IN 46706 • 260-925-1916 Garrett Office • 110 N. Randolph • Garrett, IN 46738 • 260-357-6261

fwFamily.com

www.visionsource-innovativeeyecare.com July/August 2012

27

CALENDAR

SUNDAY, JULY 1 Butterflies of Malaysia July 1 - 8. Botanical Conservatory, 1100 S. Calhoun St., Fort Wayne. Continues through July 8. Admission is $5/adult, $3/child age 3-17, free for children 2 and under.

Discovery Corner July 1 - 31. Botanical Conservatory, 1100 S. Calhoun St., Fort Wayne. In July, we’ll be exploring all about what’s in the ocean. Suitable for kids in pre-K through 1st grade. Adults are encouraged to read aloud to their young learners and explore ideas together. The Discovery Corner is free with general admission; preregistration is not required.

SERVING THE GREATER FORT WAYNE AREA Shipshewana Angola

LaGrange

Elkhart County

Steuben County

LaGrange County

Bryan

Goshen

Williams County Kendallville

DeKalb County

Albion

Noble County

Auburn

Defiance

Defiance County Kosciusko County Warsaw

Art and Tours every weekend 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. July 1, 6 - 8, 13 - 15, 20 - 22, 27 - 29, Aug. 3 - 5, 10 - 12, 17 - 19, 24 - 26 and 31. Old Mill Shoppes and Art Gallery, 6770 E. C.R. 750N, Fremont. Free Tours of the Mill and regional art from the Tri State area. Art Festival July 28-29 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. margaretcarlson@hotmail.com.

Paulding

Columbia City

Whitley County

Allen County

Paulding County

Fort Wayne

Van Wert

Van Wert County

Huntington Decatur

Music Americana 7 p.m. Steuben Community Center, 317 S. Wayne St., Angola. Local patriotic music, sponsored by the 101 Lakes Kiwanis.

Huntington County

Bluffton

Wells County

Adams County

TUESDAY, JULY 3 Little River Ramblers 9 a.m. July 3, 10, 17, 24 and 31. Eagle Marsh Barn, South Side Engle Road, one-half mile east of W Jefferson Blvd, Fort Wayne. Meet each Tuesday to hike and explore the preserve’s interesting plants and wildlife. Sponsored by Little River Wetlands Project. Free. Contact info@lrwp.org or 478-2515 for information.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 4 Independence Day Celebration 2-10 p.m. Bixler Lake Park, , Kendallville.

Celebrate our country’s independence with family-friendly activities. Live music. Fireworks at dusk. Donations still needed. Call 347-1064 for details.

Note: Fireworks are scheduled for July 4 in Angola, Garrett, Topeka and Wolcottville; July 5 in Auburn Auction Park; July 7 in Hamilton and Sept. 2 in Albion. Watch newspapers and kpcnews.com for details.

family fun. Online: lagrangecounty4hfair.com.

More events online at fwfamily.com.

sky. 1 p.m. at the Kendallville Public Library and 3 p.m. at the Limberlost Public Library, Rome City. $1 Night 5-8 p.m. Botanical Conservatory, 1100 S. Calhoun St., Fort Wayne. On the first Thursday of the month we offer $1 admissions, 5-8 pm, for adults and children. Babies and up to age 2 are still admitted free. Enjoy our evening hours and a special discount once a month. For more info, call 427-6440. iPad Users Group 7 p.m. July 5, 12, 19, 26, Aug. 2, 9, 16, 23 and 30. Kendallville Public Library, , Kendallville. New iPad users will discuss the use of apps and share experiences with the powers and the problems of the Apple iPad.

THURSDAY, JULY 5 Fireworks with Rockets Kendallville Public Library, Kendallville. Shoot to the library during this holiday week for fun that will explode! We’ll build and shoot rockets and create unique art that will light up the evening

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July/August 2012

SATURDAY, JULY 7 LaGrange County 4-H Fair July 7 - 14. LaGrange County Fairgrounds, 1055E 075N, LaGrange. A week of wholesome fwFamily.com

Wolf’s Swap Meet and Flea Market 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. July 7 and Aug. 18. Wolf Swap Grounds, 4 miles south of Ligonier on US 33 and 1 mile east on Albion Road, Wolf Lake. $4 per carload for lookers. For information: 635-2356.

Sylvan Springs Open House 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. July 7; 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. July 8.

Sylvan Springs, Northport Road, Rome City.

Sneak peak at the future of Sylvan Springs, 2730 E. Northport Road. Ask questions. Give us your input and ideas. Refreshments. Stroll the beautiful grounds. Guided tours of main building ($3 adults; $1 seniors and teens.).

SUNDAY, JULY 8 Kosciusko Fair July 8 - 14. Kosciusko County Community Fairgrounds, 1400 East Smith Street, Warsaw.

Kosciusko County Community Fair offers fun, exciting activities Theme is “Pioneer Days, Modern Ways” Visit kcfair.org or call 574-2691823 for more info. Admission charged.

THURSDAY, JULY 12 ‘Legally Blonde: The Musical’ July 12 - 15. Indiana University-Purdue University

CALENDAR

Fort Wayne Williams Theatre, 2101 E. Coliseum Blvd., Fort Wayne. Showtimes: Thursday, July 12, at 7:30 p.m.; Friday, July 13, at 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, July 14, at 2 p.m.; Saturday, July 14, at 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, July 15, at 2 p.m. Cost: Adults $10; Kids 12 and under $7. More info at summermusictheatre.com.

Little Women: The Musical 7 p.m. July 13 - 14 and 18. Plymouth Congregational Church, 501 W. Berry St., Fort Wayne. Directed by Brent Blalock. Featuring the Plymouth Players. Free. Online: plymouthfw.org.

SATURDAY, JULY 14

‘Nightmare in Library Land’ Kendallville Public Library, Kendallville. From the monster under your bed to “The Monster at the End of this Book,” we’ll cover them all, create our own monsters, and learn about the phases of the moon. KPL 1 p.m. and Limberlost Public Library at 3 p.m.

Musicfest Downtown Fremont in Steuben County. Musical entertainment from jazz to country. Parades, kids games. Free. Contact: fremontchamber.org, 4959010.

FRIDAY, JULY 13 Champions Cup Power Soccer National Tournament July 13 - 15. Turnstone Center for Children and Adults with Disabilities, 3320 North Clinton Street, Fort Wayne. Call 483-2100 or visit Turnstone.org for more information.

Three Rivers Festival July 13 - 21. Downtown Fort Wayne, Headwaters

Park. Parades, rides, crafts, music, food, much more. Free. Online: threeriversfestival.org.

Cruisin’ Main Street 6-10 p.m. Downtown Kendallville, 100 Main Street, Kendallville. Hang out in downtown Kendallville. Cruise with your feet and visit some local businesses that are open late.

. . . t A e m i T y l Fami

Noble County Community Fair July 14 - 23. Noble County 4-H Fairgrounds, Kendallville. Free admission to Fairgrounds July 16,17,25. Admission $5 per car at the gate July 18, noon to 8 p.m. and July 19-24 from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Parking pass $5 weekly.

Information at the Fair Office at the Fairgrounds in the Merchants Building. During fair calls can be made to Fair Office, 347-0666. Online: noblecountyfair.org.

Soothing Summer Gardens July 14 - Aug. 31. Botanical Conservatory, 1100

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CALENDAR

S. Calhoun St., Fort Wayne. What could be more restorative than a quiet stroll through a summer garden designed with restfulness in mind? Each small garden “room” will have its own character and art piece to admire, with strategic seating for those who wish to linger.

MONDAY, JULY 16 Encourage, Empower and Enjoy the Autism Spectrum 7-8:30 p.m. July 16 and Aug. 20. Easter Seals Arc, 4919 Projects Drive, Fort Wayne. Parents, grandparents, teachers, professionals and others wanting to learn more about autism are welcome. Topics vary monthly. For more information contact Susan Crowell at eeeautismspectrum@yahoo.com or call 637-4409.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 18 4-H Fair Week Kendallville Public Library, Kendallville. “4-H Fair Week;” What’s your dream? Maybe you can find it in the crazy variety of games/crafts/and fun from 10 a.m. to noon in the activities pavilion at the Noble County Fairgrounds. At 1 p.m. buzz in for a spelling bee and become the champion you know you are.

“THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN on

a very hot day at Hefner Field while my granddaughter was watching her mother play soccer,” wrote Julie Lee of Fort Wayne.

FRIDAY, JULY 20 Steuben County 4-H Fair July 20 - 26. Steuben County 4-H Fairgrounds, Crooked Lake. Family fun. Fair is off C.R. 175N. Contact: 668-1000, ext. 1400.

Are You Smarter Than a Zoo Keeper?

10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo, , Fort Wayne. Go up against the pros to test your animal knowledge. Free with zoo admission. kidszoo.org.

TUESDAY, JULY 24 Cruise-in 5 p.m. July 24 and Aug. 28. Downtown Orland, S.R. 327 and S.R. 120, Orland.

THURSDAY, JULY 26 ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Kendallville Public Library, Kendallville. Steven’s Puppets will pop into the Kendallville Library at 1 p.m. and the Limberlost Library at 3 p.m. for an extraordinary show featuring the sleepy princess and her friends.

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July/August 2012

JULIE LEE

SATURDAY, JULY 28

admission. The Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo is is consistently named one of the nation’s Top Ten Zoos for Kids; 427-6800; kidszoo.org.

‘Dreamgirls’ July 28 - Aug. 12. Arts United Center, 303 E. Main St., Fort Wayne. Celebrating the magic of live theater. Contact: fwcivic.org.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 3

Summer Fest Family fun all day at Black Pine Animal Sanctuary, Albion. Phone: 636-7383, online: blackpine.org

THURSDAY, AUGUST 2 Zoo Olympics 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo, , Fort Wayne. Go for the gold as you discover animals’ amazing athletic abilities. Free with zoo

fwFamily.com

Habitat for Humanity Fundraiser Shipshewana Auction Barn, 345 S Van Buren St (Indiana SR 5), Shipshewana. LaGrange County Habitat for Humanity annual fund-raising auction opens at 3:30 p.m. with the quilt auction beginning at 5. Locally made furniture and quilts.

“Country Love,” a queen-sized quilt in shades of blue and green, is sponsored by the board of directors. Tools, electronics, misc. items. Also silent-auction bids for services by area merchants. At 11 a.m. sandwich line will open, with the haystack supper beginning at 4 p.m.

CALENDAR

Fried pies, baked goods, canned beef, 4-H beef and pork also available. 22st home under construction. Also, “A Brush With Kindness,” offering home repairs or upgrades for needy families. Contact: 463-8519 or 888-278-9329 or lagrangehabitat.org.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 4 Third Annual Downtown Summer Fest Downtown Hicksville Ohio. All-day event featuring 5K walk/run, corn hole tournament, poker run, car show, children’s events, food vendors, live bands and beer tent. Visit hicksvillechamber.org for more information.

Moonlit Garden Wine-tasting 8-10 p.m. Gene Stratton-Porter State Historic Site, 1205 Pleasant Point, Rome City. Wines, cheeses, hand-dipped strawberries. $25 per person. Music by Manchester College. Proceeds go toward educational programming, restoration, improvements at the site. Call 854-3790 by Aug. 1.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 11

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25

EmpowHER Safety Day 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Public Safety Academy, 7602 Patriot Crossing, Fort Wayne. Registration begins at 8 a.m. $25 per person includes continental breakfast, boxed lunch, EmpowHER T-shirt, gift bag.Registration: publicsafetyacademy.org. Wear athletic clothing due to hands-on self defense class and firearms demo.

No sandals or open toed shoes.

Easels on West Maumee 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. West Maumee Street, Angola.

Art, music and food highlighting local talent.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24 Raising Your Spirited Child 7-9 p.m. Cornerstone at First Assembly of God, 1400 West Washington Center Road, Fort Wayne. A free program for parents and teachers; no registration required. Sponsored by Early Childhood Alliance with a grant from the AWS Foundation and Dekko Foundation. Contact Tricia Willard at 745-2501 or twillard@ecalliance.org or visit ECAlliance.org.

Raising Your Spirited Child 9-11 a.m. ENHS Cole Auditorium. See Page 12.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 30 Auburn Cord Duesenberg Festival Aug. 30 - 31. Auburn, Auburn. Community wide.

Enjoy the Parade of Classics, downtown cruisein, ice cream social, antique show, collector car auctions and much more. Contact: acdfestival.org; 925-3600.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 Ligonier Marshmallow Festival Downtown Ligonier, Ligonier. Selected ABA’s Top 100 Events in North America for group travel. Crafts, amusement rides, car show, entertainment, games, food. Free. Contact: themarshmallowfestival.com; 215-1982.

Note: All area codes are 260 unless otherwise specified.

St. John Lutheran School Now registering for the 2012-13 school year!

- Christ-centered academic excellence - Preschool through eighth grade - Caring, experienced staff Our school participates in - Small class sizes the Indiana Choice Scholarship Program.

- State accredited CONTACT US FOR DETAILS!

301 S. Oak Street, Kendallville 260-347-2444 • www.stjohneagles.org

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