ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to thank all of my old and newly discovered friends who encouraged, supported and helped me to write this book. I hope that you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Tomas Krisciunas
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5 0 0 D AY S W I T H A S A U D I A R A B I A N P R I N C E How to convert the punches that life throws your way into valuable lessons that you can turn to your advantage. How to create a network through small talk that will restart your life. Live an interesting life. Every single day.
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This book is a true story. All of the events described are real. Names related to work have been changed, but all of the characters are true to life. As an author, I am sharing my insights and advice that personally helped me to survive the global financial crisis. My book was first published in Lithuania in 2019. This newly edited and expanded English version has been adapted for a broader audience. The current situation in the world with the pandemic crisis makes this book even more relevant. Although the publisher and the author have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time and while this publication is designed to provide accurate information in regard to the subject matter covered, the publisher and the author assume no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any other inconsistencies herein and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. If you would like to contact the author directly or to follow him on social media: www.tomaskrisciunas.com www.facebook.com/tomas.krisciunas.39 https://www.instagram.com/tomaskrisciunas_travel/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomas-kriščiūnas-17633382/ © Tomas Krisciunas © Pardavimu pajegos ALL RIGHTS RESERVED No part of this book may be reproduced or utilzed in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, or by any information storage and retrieval system; or in the form of a photographic recording without written permission from the copyright holders. This is a work of nonfiction. The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique, either directly or indirectly, as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical probems, without the advice of a physician. The author‘s intent is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional, physical well-being. In the event you may use any of the information in this book, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your action. ISBN 978-609-475-529-3
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1 . I N T R O D U C T I O N . F I R S T T R I P TO B A H R A I N I lean back gently into the soft leather of my airplane seat, embracing my thoughts - this is the beginning of a journey to a completely new world, a whole new life. I am flying to the Kingdom of Bahrain. The words sound exotic and tantalizing in my mind. The Kingdom of Bahrain! Despite my great interest in history and geography, I had only a scant understanding of what I was about to behold. The plane is still on the ground, yet the flight attendant is graciously ensuring my comfort. Arabic hospitality has already begun in Vilnius, Lithuania. Although I have been involved in much international business and have traveled extensively, I must admit that this is the first time in my fortyseven years that I am flying in business class. Not that it was ever a problem, of course, to fly economy class, but this is certainly a pleasant and welcome experience. The world-famous Arabic hospitality is shown through attentiveness and respect. For me, an ordinary guy, raised in an ordinary apartment building in the USSR, it is yet another unfamiliar experience and a great start towards a new, undiscovered world. The young flight attendant graciously offers me a mini bottle of an authentic French champagne, which on such an occasion, I simply cannot resist. I raise my glass to the future - to new experiences, a new chapter of my life that is still to come and to the past for all of the unbelievable challenges that happened during the last decade and ultimately brought me to where I am now - on a flight to Istanbul and then onto Manama, capital of the Kingdom of Bahrain. Today is February 23, 2018. Without even knowing it, the first step towards this journey was taken ten years ago on September 1, 2008. That was the year when I began to work for a private archival and document storage company. A more accurate term for the industry is “professional management of records and information”, but quite often “records” misleads people into thinking about the rock and pop music industry and, similarly, “information” - about IT services. In fact, this is a traditional archive where paper files from banks, insurance companies or other public institutions that continue to use a lot of paper are organized and held in secure storage. When clients require their documents to work on them they contact us for their secure return. Not fancy? Not at all, but that’s the job of an archivist. “It is the oldest and most boring profession in the world.” I love to introduce myself when meeting people. It is also the one that brought me back to life. After working hard every day for eight years in my own business from 2000 and investing every single penny of my savings, even mortgaging my real estate (a recently acquired, brand new apartment in a prestigious neighborhood of Lithuania’s capital city of Vilnius), as a result of the turmoil of the Global Financial Crisis of 2008, I lost everything. Even worse - not only had I lost it all, but I remained in debt to almost every Scandinavian bank •5•
operating in Lithuania. That was the price of pledging and signing personal guarantees. Along with the failure of my business, my personal relationship crashed as well – my girlfriend, with whom I had spent the last eight years of my life, ended up walking away. I couldn’t really blame her - who could enjoy staying and living with such an enormous bundle of nerves like me? A guy who couldn’t find his place in the world, who spent all of his time at work, yet kept sinking deeper and deeper into debt and personal problems? A guy who was perpetually exhausted from all of the turmoil and anxiety that comes from running your own business of fifteen ice cream, coffee and sushi shops? And who was constantly overwhelmed with the biggest problem of them all: where to get money to at least cover the monthly expenses: rent, taxes, invoices, bills, employee wages. Over and over again. How to survive and avoid bankruptcy? How to handle each day’s rising fear that every single effort would come to nothing? What would happen to me and my life once I was washed up? Each new punch was hitting me harder and harder. It was very sad, but I do not judge other people’s decisions since everyone has the right to choose what is best for themselves. There were plenty of reasons to be so stressed out. My total investment was 1.5 million Lithuanian litas (LTL) which was a huge sum (exchange rate 1 USD – 3 LTL) - I could have bought 15 newly built studios in Vilnius and I had never even dreamed of handling such a large amount of money. And finally, my dreaded day arrived: I was out on the street, flat broke with no money, no home, no family and a debt of 300,000 LTL hanging over my head. Personal bankruptcy did not exist in those days, so it was obvious that there were long years ahead of forking out money to pay my debts. This huge figure seemed impossible to earn and repay my creditors. My plan to conquer the coffee and ice cream market not only in Lithuania, but in the entire Baltic region had finally crashed and my life lost all meaning. Depression with suicidal thoughts began to loom ever larger in my mind - “Is it worth living at all?” Thankfully, something very unexpected happened. I began working in a private archive. My retained network of contacts had helped me to land the job. The punches that I had received over the years when I was running my own business and the lessons that I learned during that time proved to be useful later on. I believe that the most important lesson in life is that when you face adversity, you have to learn how to change that adversity into an advantage. Anyone can do it. I became stronger. It was just like the karate training that I’d practiced during my school years: exercise and punches strengthen your muscles and build up endurance through resiliency. After my company bankrupted, I was ravenous for success. The hard lessons I had learned allowed me to make bold decisions. Our archiving company became profitable, started to flourish, and we skyrocketed into the market as leaders in the entire region. After 8 years, the owners, who were a private equity company, decided to sell the archive and, totally by chance, •6•
while I was making #small talk with the right person at the right time, I was able to find a suitable buyer. The deal that was negotiated left the seller, the buyer and myself all truly satisfied. Even before the sale of our company, I’d begun to crave new challenges. Things had become routine and I was bored. However, I was held back by a sense of duty since I wanted my career there to carry on through with the sale of the company. After the deal was done, the new American shareholders and their European division placed me under an obligation to stay for at least another year to help integrate our company into the network of this much larger player. The American company was great with the exception of its new Finnish regional manager. To me, a mature man, who helped to create company value, found buyers for it and sold it, this guy’s management through intimidation tactics was not acceptable. A “manager” who wanted to be praised and glorified by everyone because he imagined himself to be infinitely gorgeous, charming and smart, did not hold any fascination for me. He only amused me and put a mildly disdainful smile on my face. It became obvious that we would not fit under one roof. After a year, the Finn delivered his inevitable punch: I received a termination notice that was delivered as if I were a dangerous enemy - take your personal belongings immediately and leave the building. Instantly, at that very moment, without even getting a chance to say thank you and goodbye to my colleagues. He wanted to inflict pain and he succeeded. It’s a nasty feeling to be on the receiving end, but it’s manageable, even more so because this was not the first time in my life that I had faced that type of spite. On the other hand, I received a mutually agreed upon severance package and I had nothing to blame the American company for. But what the Finn didn’t know was that I do not absorb insults from unimportant people in my life. I shake them off like the heavy sand that gets stuck to your feet in the deserts of Bahrain or falls off on its own like the light sand of the Baltic Seacoast. Anyway, to be sacked in a few minutes is not the most pleasant of experiences and there were a number of thoughts that were swirling around in my head, “How much longer can life continue beating me down?”, “Why had I become unwanted and unneeded so quickly?” But then I thought: “No! Not unneeded - on the contrary, I am free! Free to live an exciting life.” This was going to be my new, tweaked vision of life: “live an interesting life!” Once again, I was turning adversity into an advantage. To heck with the Finn, it was more painful to see most of the people with whom I had been working shoulder to shoulder for so many years succumbing to his threats. Luckily, not all of them. One decent colleague drove me home because, under my confidentiality agreement, even my car was taken away immediately. Come to think of it, I highly doubt I would have been able to leak any kind of confidential information to a car even if I had wanted to. At home, I was greeted with encouragement, “Don’t go searching for a new job. Go travel! You have wanted to and dreamed about it for a long time,” said my wise and precious wife Gitana. After my company’s bankruptcy, I •7•
had started a new family and now we raise three wonderful children. “But fix your teeth first, though,” Gitana advised me because mine had been shattered with kicks and punches directly to the head during the wild creation of capitalism in my native city of Kaunas back in 1990. How is one able to survive such a punch-laden path? What makes a person’s life extraordinary and exciting? Those were my thoughts while sitting in a plane and looking at the blue horizon. I was fired at the beginning of May and by July, I was already in Australia visiting expat Kiwis Kathy and Cliff, a nice and very friendly couple whom I had met while making #smalltalk in the US. They live in Mandurah, about 50 miles south of Perth and I was lucky to explore fantastic Australia with them. From there I went to New Zealand and after that onto French Polynesia. After a month of traveling, I returned home. Next, I explored Canada. As is our family’s Christmas and New Year’s tradition, our whole family left for Cyprus. While there, I am in the habit of writing to the most important people in my #network. I thank them for their input into my life and wish them something specific in the New Year. They do not have to be very close friends, but are those who have contributed to my life. One of them was a businessman from Saudi Arabia named Mohammed. We also met through #smalltalk at an archival conference a few years ago in the US. After finding out that I was now free, he invited me to run his newly acquired company in Bahrain. It was the same industry and the same boring archives. Although I’d begun to work on my old dream of teaching sales skills and strategies, consulting companies, helping people reach their goals, making changes in organizations, my thoughts changed over time and I decided to take the opportunity and go to an unfamiliar Islamic Arabic country. I make important life choices and decisions based on my outlook towards life values, i.e., the key principles of my life. 1. Continuously explore and experience. Learn new skills and ideas to help you grow. 2. Do not hold grudges. Turn punches into lessons. Share joy and laugh with all your heart and soul. 3. Appreciate and be thankful to everyone who contributes to your life. That’s why even during the period of a good six months after termination when I had received very few good job offers in my country, I decided to stick to my values and asked myself: “Will I be able to live an exciting life while working in production or operations from 8AM to 5PM? Will it be interesting for me to oversee people to check who came in to work today and who did not? Will I discover something new? Most likely not much. There are always some new things to learn in every new job, but will it be enough? How will it affect my dreams and plans to travel, to learn about new countries and cultures, to try myself out in a new field or even a new country?” So, I decided not to accept the local offers despite the decent salaries that were being offered. I decided to wait until I found something that aligned with my values. The plane that I am on from Vilnius lands at Amsterdam’s airport. I •8•
am off to find something to do with myself for the next eight hours before my connecting flight to Bahrain. My adventure is just getting started. And, by the way - yes, it is always worth living. Even when everything around you falls to ruins, your business collapses and your marriage, friendships, as well as personal relationships follow suit. When life delivers you punch after punch, when you are overwhelmed with suicidal thoughts, it is time to get up and move on. I know what I am talking about. I went through it myself and I can truly testify that there is always a way out, there is always a solution. Always! You only need to learn how to turn punches and adversities into advantages and never stop communicating with others, neither with your present #network nor while searching for new friends while engaging people in #smalltalk.
What are the three core values of your outlook on life that you will use to make important decisions? 1. 2. 3.
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