WHEN WINGS AIN’T WINGS

I have a pet peeve. It is not even in my top 100 pet peeves, but the peeve exists, and the subject of this edition of the legendary “Legally Weird” column addresses the peeve, which is now the target of a class action lawsuit silly enough to warrant discussion here.

Like Aimen Halim of Illinois, I think “boneless chicken wings” are an unnecessary and inappropriate misnomer. They clearly are not wings. Imagine my surprise when I first ordered boneless chicken wings, thinking they would have the taste and texture of chicken wings without the sloppy eating and greasy and/or dirty fingers, only to find out they are merely oblong chicken nuggets or short chicken tenders. They are no more wings than they are a part of the buffalo. What is with these wing vendors? You cannot trust any of them!

When I have a pet peeve, typically I get annoyed, roll my eyes, and think thoughts to myself, unless I am around a friend who knows me well enough to like me in spite of (or because of?) my pettiness. Not so with Aimen Halim of Illinois. Aimen Halim of Illinois schedules a consultation with a lawyer named Ruhandy Glezakos of Los Angeles. On behalf of Aimen Halim and all others similarly situated, Ruhandy Glezakos has filed a class action lawsuit against Buffalo Wild Wings, Inc. (“BWW”), alleging:

(1) BWW sells products they call “Boneless Wings.” The Complaint abbreviates the Boneless Wings “the Products.”

(2) The name and description of the Products leads “reasonable consumers to believe the Products are actually chicken wings. In other words, that the Products are chicken wings that have simply been deboned, and as such are comprised of entirely chicken wing meat.”

(3) Unbeknownst to all of the consumers similarly situated to Aimen Halim, Boneless Wings are not wings at all! They are “slices of chicken breast meat deep-fried like wings1. Indeed, the Products are more akin, in composition, to a chicken nugget rather than a chicken wing.”

(4) If BWW wanted to be transparent, they could name the Products “Boneless Chicken” or “Chicken Poppers.”

(5) Had Aimen Halim of Illinois and members of his class known that the Products were not chicken wings, they would have paid less or not purchased them at all. He suffered a “financial injury” as a result of the false and deceptive conduct.

(6) The uncertainty about the future of BWW’s business practices, coupled with Aimen Halim of Illinois’ well-earned desire to purchase the Products in the future, mean that this is an ongoing injury, unless there is an injunction enjoining BWW from calling the Products “Boneless Wings.”

(7) The reason for the misnomer is due to the rising cost of the “once-lowly wing” over what has “long been the gold standard of poultry parts, the skinless boneless chicken breast.”

The offensive menu featuring the Products is included in the body of the Complaint:

I know exactly what you are thinking. Why are we wasting all of this time and money targeting Boneless Wings when the real problem is further down the page? Who are they kidding trying to sell us the wings of a cauliflower? Ruhandy Glezakos has likely already opened a file. Also, does BWW not get credit for offering chicken “tenders” as opposed to chicken “fingers”? Perhaps an offset can be claimed.

Shortly after the lawsuit was filed, BWW filed what it would probably call a Boneless Answer (a.k.a. a tweet on Twitter).

The fate of the Product remains to be seen. While I disagree with the means, eliminating the phrase “Boneless Wings” from every single person’s vocabulary forever is a goal I can get behind. I am not a big fan of the bland-sounding “Boneless Chicken,” and “Chicken Poppers” makes no sense – plus it suggests that jalapeno peppers could be involved, and that is just another lawsuit waiting to happen. BWW, I will make you an offer. You may use “Oblong Chicken Nuggets,” for a price. Just call my lawyer, Ruhandy Glezakos.

1 Respectfully, for the record, not all wings are deep fried, and in my opinion the superior wings are not.

SUMMER

Summer graduated from UT College of Law magna cum laude in 1999 and practiced civil litigation in Knoxville for 19 years before serving as Senior Judicial Law Clerk to Tennessee Supreme Court Justice Sharon G. Lee for the past five years summer@jmortonlaw.com

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Please note the following changes in your KBA Attorneys’ Directory and other office records:

Daisey Lovin

BPR #: 040322

Legal Aid of East Tennessee, Inc. 607 West Summit Hill Drive

Knoxville, TN 37902-2011

Ph: (865) 637-0484 dlovin@laet.org

Summer H. McMillan

BPR #: 020296

Jennifer Morton Law, PLLC 8217 Pickens Gap Rd. Knoxville, TN 37920-9036

Ph: (865) 579-0708 summer@jmortonlaw.com

Meghan J. Treece

BPR #: 040358 P.O. Box 2147 New Tazewell, TN 37824-2147

Ph: (865) 585-0644 meg.treece@gmail.com

By: T. Mitchell Panter Lewis Thomason, P.C.